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Liches Get Scritches: A Cat Cultivation
A humorous, slice-of-life fantasy about a cat... who dreams of being immortal.
Jenkins Greenleaf is no stranger to death. After all, he has nine lives and intends on living each one to the full. Deep in the dreaming woods, across the river and through the marsh, he discovers a secret forest sect. There he learns the ancient art of cultivation, along with all the other spirit beasts.
Despite his affinity, his mentor warns him away from death qi. It is too dangerous, too unstable, and after all, there are so many other elements to cultivate.
But nine lives are simply not enough.
The road to immortality may start with clean fur and impeccable toe-beans, but how can one meditate without lungs to breath or blood to circulate?
Trials and heavenly tribulations follow, but a cat will always land on his feet.
Also featuring pesky pixies, mean toad girls, demonic rats and one knitting lich.
A slice-of-life western cultivation.
Redwall x Lovecraft x Beware of Chicken
A standalone story in the Liches Get Stitches universe.
Jenkins Greenleaf is no stranger to death. After all, he has nine lives and intends on living each one to the full. Deep in the dreaming woods, across the river and through the marsh, he discovers a secret forest sect. There he learns the ancient art of cultivation, along with all the other spirit beasts.
Despite his affinity, his mentor warns him away from death qi. It is too dangerous, too unstable, and after all, there are so many other elements to cultivate.
But nine lives are simply not enough.
The road to immortality may start with clean fur and impeccable toe-beans, but how can one meditate without lungs to breath or blood to circulate?
Trials and heavenly tribulations follow, but a cat will always land on his feet.
Also featuring pesky pixies, mean toad girls, demonic rats and one knitting lich.
A slice-of-life western cultivation.
Redwall x Lovecraft x Beware of Chicken
A standalone story in the Liches Get Stitches universe.
437 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 7, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
February 8, 2026
tldr; Redwall meets wuxia & necromancy. 4/5.
Background:
I discovered this book when searching through contestants of the SPFBO XI contest by Mark Lawrence. I realized I've seen it before trending on Royal Road a while back (or maybe it was a similar one from HJ Tolson called Liches Get Stitches, can't remember which). I knew this story was about a witch's familiar, but nothing else—I have no previous knowledge of the Liches get Stitches world, so to speak.
The Story:
The first have of the book is mostly low-stakes with a cosy fantasy feel up until the halfway point when the stakes are raised. This is where I became much more invested in the story. The protagonist is a black cat named Jenkins and there are all manner of animals in the forest where he lives. Some of them are Awakened and can cultivate various forms of attuned qi from the environment (light, dark, earth, water, fire, wood, shadow, etc). The baddies are demon cultivators whose efforts corrupt the forest. There are Small Folk which only cats and higher-leveled cultivators can see. The cats in the story also have literally 9 lives, which are spent in various adventures and I thought was an interesting touch. The Small Folk become more prevalent in the latter half of the book and reminded me of Terry Pratchett's Nac Mac Feegles, except these are less bloodthirsty and overall seem less quintessentially Scottish, at least in my mind. Jenkin's owner is a witch and she is more of a side character, skirting into the plot here and there but not a central feature.
My Review:
I enjoyed it. I loved Redwall by Brian Jacques when I was a teen and when I read the scenes with evil rats in Liches Get Scritches, I found myself losing perspective of Jenkins and imagining him as a mouse rather than a cat. I have no explanation for this weirdness other than some deeply-baked psycho-remnants planted in my developing brain by the Redwall series. This is a compliment, though a strange one. The fact my subconscious puts this story up there with Redwall is the highest praise.
The wuxia cultivation was a fun angle and it was done well. Some hard core wuxia fans might argue it needed more levels and detail, but in my opinion that would be overkill and distract from the plot rather than enhance it.
I enjoyed Jenkin's pursuit of the River spirit and how they became friends, as well as the Moon and Stars. His 9 lives were an interesting take not usually seen in fantasy. Plus there was dreamwalking, the Folk only he (and a rare few others) can see, and necromancy to battle against. It was a fun mix that kept things interesting. This is a plot-driven novel, without a ton of self-introspection or character development going on, which I personally tend to lean towards in my reading trends.
The story is mostly family friendly (again, think Redwall) with not a single cuss word. It does have some mild gore, violence, and a heavy dose of death at the end.
It would've been nice to see a little more of the witch's character. She must be an interesting person because the actions she performs are quite extraordinary, but they all happen off-screen, and we only see their after effects later. I'm guessing the witch might be a prominent character in the other "Liches Get Stitches" books, but I can't speak to that since I haven't read them.
My main critique boils down to the last hundred pages. The plot takes a significant turn which kept things interesting, but on an entirely personal and subjective note, I'm simply unsure if I liked it. I think it would have helped if there was more clarity differentiating between demon cultivation (which is clearly portrayed as evil) and death qi (which in the context of this novel, is morally ambivalent, but you don't figure this out until the end and it's not at all clear). There's a moment when the giant toad mentions how death cultivators always become corrupt and evil in the end. That's the way I understood it, though in retrospect, I doubt that was the author's intent with the toad's words. Regardless, I found that speech very misleading because everything after presented the opposite. The author may have been attempting to paint Jenkins as morally gray, but rather than clarity, I was confused by mixed messaging. I thought he had been forced into the evil camp, by definition, only to have the definition change on me because I misunderstood the assignment in the first place.
Even so, I enjoyed it.
Overall 4/5
Background:
I discovered this book when searching through contestants of the SPFBO XI contest by Mark Lawrence. I realized I've seen it before trending on Royal Road a while back (or maybe it was a similar one from HJ Tolson called Liches Get Stitches, can't remember which). I knew this story was about a witch's familiar, but nothing else—I have no previous knowledge of the Liches get Stitches world, so to speak.
The Story:
The first have of the book is mostly low-stakes with a cosy fantasy feel up until the halfway point when the stakes are raised. This is where I became much more invested in the story. The protagonist is a black cat named Jenkins and there are all manner of animals in the forest where he lives. Some of them are Awakened and can cultivate various forms of attuned qi from the environment (light, dark, earth, water, fire, wood, shadow, etc). The baddies are demon cultivators whose efforts corrupt the forest. There are Small Folk which only cats and higher-leveled cultivators can see. The cats in the story also have literally 9 lives, which are spent in various adventures and I thought was an interesting touch. The Small Folk become more prevalent in the latter half of the book and reminded me of Terry Pratchett's Nac Mac Feegles, except these are less bloodthirsty and overall seem less quintessentially Scottish, at least in my mind. Jenkin's owner is a witch and she is more of a side character, skirting into the plot here and there but not a central feature.
My Review:
I enjoyed it. I loved Redwall by Brian Jacques when I was a teen and when I read the scenes with evil rats in Liches Get Scritches, I found myself losing perspective of Jenkins and imagining him as a mouse rather than a cat. I have no explanation for this weirdness other than some deeply-baked psycho-remnants planted in my developing brain by the Redwall series. This is a compliment, though a strange one. The fact my subconscious puts this story up there with Redwall is the highest praise.
The wuxia cultivation was a fun angle and it was done well. Some hard core wuxia fans might argue it needed more levels and detail, but in my opinion that would be overkill and distract from the plot rather than enhance it.
I enjoyed Jenkin's pursuit of the River spirit and how they became friends, as well as the Moon and Stars. His 9 lives were an interesting take not usually seen in fantasy. Plus there was dreamwalking, the Folk only he (and a rare few others) can see, and necromancy to battle against. It was a fun mix that kept things interesting. This is a plot-driven novel, without a ton of self-introspection or character development going on, which I personally tend to lean towards in my reading trends.
The story is mostly family friendly (again, think Redwall) with not a single cuss word. It does have some mild gore, violence, and a heavy dose of death at the end.
It would've been nice to see a little more of the witch's character. She must be an interesting person because the actions she performs are quite extraordinary, but they all happen off-screen, and we only see their after effects later. I'm guessing the witch might be a prominent character in the other "Liches Get Stitches" books, but I can't speak to that since I haven't read them.
My main critique boils down to the last hundred pages. The plot takes a significant turn which kept things interesting, but on an entirely personal and subjective note, I'm simply unsure if I liked it. I think it would have helped if there was more clarity differentiating between demon cultivation (which is clearly portrayed as evil) and death qi (which in the context of this novel, is morally ambivalent, but you don't figure this out until the end and it's not at all clear). There's a moment when the giant toad mentions how death cultivators always become corrupt and evil in the end. That's the way I understood it, though in retrospect, I doubt that was the author's intent with the toad's words. Regardless, I found that speech very misleading because everything after presented the opposite. The author may have been attempting to paint Jenkins as morally gray, but rather than clarity, I was confused by mixed messaging. I thought he had been forced into the evil camp, by definition, only to have the definition change on me because I misunderstood the assignment in the first place.
Even so, I enjoyed it.
Overall 4/5
February 12, 2026
Liches Get Scritches by H.J. Tolson
This story has some overlap with Liches Get Stitches. This time, though, the focus is not on Maude, who gets turned into a lich, but on her cat, Jenkins.
The style is different because this is a cultivation story, and the tone is different too because it is told in first person from Jenkins’ point of view. He is a cat who simply knows he is the most beautiful and most awesome cat there is, very much like real cats. He is nicely aloof and very sure of himself, but still lovable. At the same time, he is deeply protective of what he considers his, his people, his forest, and especially his Maude, and he is absolutely willing to fight, suffer, and even die to keep them safe.
He also works hard to get better, stronger, and bigger, both physically and by cultivating his chi and opening his meridians.
The first half of the book was fine for me, but honestly a bit slow. It focused a lot on learning about cultivation. That might have been more gripping if it had been my first cultivation novel, but I have read quite a few, so I already knew the basics and did not need to learn everything alongside Jenkins.
The second half became much more gripping, with battles and fights that were engaging and fun to read. There were also some more introspective moments, though still very much in line with a typical cat personality.
Luckily, Jenkins has nine lives, because he does a lot of dying. It is never overly gratuitous, though. This is very much a cozy dark story, with necromancers, a demon rat infestation, and cute cat adventures all mixed together.
If you want a story that mixes dark necromancy vibes with cozy humor and a confident, dramatic cat narrator, this is a really fun ride. Cute, deadly, and full of personality, like a cat calmly cleaning his paws while his enemies settle back into the soil.
This story has some overlap with Liches Get Stitches. This time, though, the focus is not on Maude, who gets turned into a lich, but on her cat, Jenkins.
The style is different because this is a cultivation story, and the tone is different too because it is told in first person from Jenkins’ point of view. He is a cat who simply knows he is the most beautiful and most awesome cat there is, very much like real cats. He is nicely aloof and very sure of himself, but still lovable. At the same time, he is deeply protective of what he considers his, his people, his forest, and especially his Maude, and he is absolutely willing to fight, suffer, and even die to keep them safe.
He also works hard to get better, stronger, and bigger, both physically and by cultivating his chi and opening his meridians.
The first half of the book was fine for me, but honestly a bit slow. It focused a lot on learning about cultivation. That might have been more gripping if it had been my first cultivation novel, but I have read quite a few, so I already knew the basics and did not need to learn everything alongside Jenkins.
The second half became much more gripping, with battles and fights that were engaging and fun to read. There were also some more introspective moments, though still very much in line with a typical cat personality.
Luckily, Jenkins has nine lives, because he does a lot of dying. It is never overly gratuitous, though. This is very much a cozy dark story, with necromancers, a demon rat infestation, and cute cat adventures all mixed together.
If you want a story that mixes dark necromancy vibes with cozy humor and a confident, dramatic cat narrator, this is a really fun ride. Cute, deadly, and full of personality, like a cat calmly cleaning his paws while his enemies settle back into the soil.
January 13, 2026
Jenkins is a cat like non other, with an adventure to rival the bravest of adventurers.
We join young Jenkins in the beginning of his life and spend his next nine lives learning the ins and outs of Cultivating Qi and becoming a powerful magical creature.
Jenkins is willing to sacrifice everything to help those he loves and when demonic energy threatens his forest he is no scaredy cat running away.
I liked how H.J. manages to really capture the internal thoughts of a majestic cat. I was giggling at some of the 'thoughts' Jenkins had about his two-legger.
We meet a cast of animals and humans throughout the story, some friend others foe.
My only complaint is that I thought we were going to see his evolution into a lich that was not the case. Also his mentor puts a lot of importance on finding a combat master and he never does. While yes his lack of training leads us to the conclusion, it just seems like it was a plot point continually pointed at but never seen.
That being said. If you liked Redwall, or the Warrior Cats, or the Coonkin Chronicles, this is one for you.
We join young Jenkins in the beginning of his life and spend his next nine lives learning the ins and outs of Cultivating Qi and becoming a powerful magical creature.
Jenkins is willing to sacrifice everything to help those he loves and when demonic energy threatens his forest he is no scaredy cat running away.
I liked how H.J. manages to really capture the internal thoughts of a majestic cat. I was giggling at some of the 'thoughts' Jenkins had about his two-legger.
We meet a cast of animals and humans throughout the story, some friend others foe.
My only complaint is that I thought we were going to see his evolution into a lich that was not the case. Also his mentor puts a lot of importance on finding a combat master and he never does. While yes his lack of training leads us to the conclusion, it just seems like it was a plot point continually pointed at but never seen.
That being said. If you liked Redwall, or the Warrior Cats, or the Coonkin Chronicles, this is one for you.
April 8, 2025
If you liked Liches Get Stitches, then chances are you will like this too. It's a stand alone side story that follows Maud's cat, Jenkins, starting a little before the events of Liches book 1. Unlike Liches though, the magic system here is all cultivation, which honestly is super cute and reminds me of stuff like Beware of Chicken and the third Kungfu Panda movie lol. But also can we just take a moment to appreciate how much sense it makes for animals to be cultivators? I love that as an explanation for why some animals are "awake" and others not. And the characters are just super great too, as always with an HJ Tolson story. Be advised, however, that while this story is very light and cozy for the majority of the book, it does veer into its own dark night of the soul, and I found that moment so relatable in terms of sudden shifts in identity, that I did cry a bit. Yes, the cute cat book made me cry, but stories with that kind of power tend to be the best I think.
September 5, 2025
As usual, the Kindle app is not letting me leave reviews, so it will only be on here.
I probably read this a bit out of order for the rest of the series, but I don't think I missed anything by reading this one first.
This book was a hoot. I think most people are going to like it. Especially if you like cats. Yes, it is told from the POV of a cat. Yes, it is hysterical at times. Yes, it will it you in the feels at other times.
Seriously, just do yourself a favor and give this book a read.
Highly recommended.
I probably read this a bit out of order for the rest of the series, but I don't think I missed anything by reading this one first.
This book was a hoot. I think most people are going to like it. Especially if you like cats. Yes, it is told from the POV of a cat. Yes, it is hysterical at times. Yes, it will it you in the feels at other times.
Seriously, just do yourself a favor and give this book a read.
Highly recommended.
June 26, 2025
A great addition to the series!
I love this new perspective from Jenkins. I love that he has his own adventures and secrets (like all cats do). I love the premise and how his quest is woven into Maud's story. I could read stories from this universe over and over. I love the humor from the cat's perspective and the writing style is very fun. Thanks for another great story.
I love this new perspective from Jenkins. I love that he has his own adventures and secrets (like all cats do). I love the premise and how his quest is woven into Maud's story. I could read stories from this universe over and over. I love the humor from the cat's perspective and the writing style is very fun. Thanks for another great story.
December 17, 2025
This is another one that I really didn’t expect anything more than an entertaining D&D inspired romp and got WHACKED right in the feels!!!
I’m adding it to my bookshelf alongside Majordomo & Jester by Tim Carter. I love it when a book so thoroughly surprises you with unexpected depth and heart.
Excited to see exactly how far Jenkins Greenleaf and his person Maud go in their new unlife!
I’m adding it to my bookshelf alongside Majordomo & Jester by Tim Carter. I love it when a book so thoroughly surprises you with unexpected depth and heart.
Excited to see exactly how far Jenkins Greenleaf and his person Maud go in their new unlife!
April 27, 2025
A cat is a cat.
While not as engaging as the main series it is worth a read.
The story of Jenkins life up to, and a little after his assention to undeath.
Fairly standard cultivation system, the main difference is animals instead of people. Tom out
While not as engaging as the main series it is worth a read.
The story of Jenkins life up to, and a little after his assention to undeath.
Fairly standard cultivation system, the main difference is animals instead of people. Tom out
November 23, 2025
From womb to beyond death, Jefferson the Cat Cultivator battles two-leggers, Tribulation Dragons, Evil Demon Rats, Wraiths and sundry other nefarious foes as he grows ever more resplendent. Of course, he always knew he would excel and triumph - it's others he must educate. Fun read, despite a bit of a struggle as Jefferson transitions to the undead.
January 25, 2026
A perfect addition to the Liches Get Stitches series. I loved the whole cosy vibe of the first half of the book. The second half does get quite a bit darker, but has a satisfying ending. Looking forward to whatever Hesketh thinks up next!
May 30, 2025
Marvelous to re-enter the world of my fave lich Maud from a whole new perspective. This is an absolute banger for cultivation lovers! Also clearly written with a genuine love of cats.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews