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I Am You
In 1600s Amsterdam, two women—a painter and her assistant—defy the norms of their time as they take on the male-dominated art world and fall in love—from “fantastic prose writer” (Vulture) and “true master” (Guernica), Victoria Redel.
At seven years old, Gerta’s hair is lopped off and she’s sent to work for the Oosterwijcks under the name Pieter because it’s a boy they need. As Pieter, she splits wood, minds the hens and rabbits, scrubs the wooden floors of the house, and tends the garden—all while the family’s teenage daughter, Maria, looks on, sketching Pieter’s every movement. A few years later at the dinner table Maria lays Gerta’s deception open alongside a demand that Gerta accompany her to Utrecht, where Maria will apprentice in the workshop of a famous painter.
In Utrecht, Maria learns to paint skilled still lives—though she is the only woman in her workshop and because of her sex will never be accepted into the painters’ guild. As Maria ascends to great heights of skill and fame, the relationship between maid and employer deepens and shifts, and it becomes clear that Gerta, too, possesses abilities far beyond what society expects.
Inspired by the little that is known about Maria van Oosterwijck’s actual life, I Am You is a love story, a meditation on sex —the ways it binds and frees us—and an ode to artistic creation. As beautifully wrought as Oosterwijck’s paintings delicate, blazing in color, and at times enveloped in shadow, Victoria Redel’s new novel brings to life the copious spoils of Amsterdam’s Golden Age, and the perils that lay hidden within them for women like Maria and Gerta.
At seven years old, Gerta’s hair is lopped off and she’s sent to work for the Oosterwijcks under the name Pieter because it’s a boy they need. As Pieter, she splits wood, minds the hens and rabbits, scrubs the wooden floors of the house, and tends the garden—all while the family’s teenage daughter, Maria, looks on, sketching Pieter’s every movement. A few years later at the dinner table Maria lays Gerta’s deception open alongside a demand that Gerta accompany her to Utrecht, where Maria will apprentice in the workshop of a famous painter.
In Utrecht, Maria learns to paint skilled still lives—though she is the only woman in her workshop and because of her sex will never be accepted into the painters’ guild. As Maria ascends to great heights of skill and fame, the relationship between maid and employer deepens and shifts, and it becomes clear that Gerta, too, possesses abilities far beyond what society expects.
Inspired by the little that is known about Maria van Oosterwijck’s actual life, I Am You is a love story, a meditation on sex —the ways it binds and frees us—and an ode to artistic creation. As beautifully wrought as Oosterwijck’s paintings delicate, blazing in color, and at times enveloped in shadow, Victoria Redel’s new novel brings to life the copious spoils of Amsterdam’s Golden Age, and the perils that lay hidden within them for women like Maria and Gerta.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published September 30, 2025
274 people are currently reading
24909 people want to read
About the author
Victoria Redel
17 books222 followersVictoria Redel's newest novel is I Am You (September 30, 2025, SJP Lit/Zando), which Melissa Febos calls "A lush, sexy, absorbing novel that brings to life two artists who are inextricably linked in passion and competition."
Redel's work includes four books of poetry, most recently Paradise, and the novel Before Everything. Her short stories, poetry and essays have appeared in Granta, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Bomb, One Story, Salmagundi, O, and NOON, among many others. She has received fellowships from the Guggenheim Foundation, The National Endowment for the Arts and the Fine Arts Work Center. She is a professor in the graduate and undergraduate creative writing programs at Sarah Lawrence College and splits her time between Utah and New York City.
Redel is on the graduate and undergraduate faculty of Sarah Lawrence College. She has taught in the Graduate Writing Programs of Columbia University and Vermont College. Redel was the McGee Professor at Davidson College. She has received fellowships from The Guggenheim Foundation, The National Endowment For The Arts and the Fine Arts Work Center.
Victoria Redel was born in New York. She is a first generation American of Belgian, Rumanian, Egyptian and Russian and Polish descent. She attended Dartmouth College (BA) and Columbia University (MFA).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 211 reviews
September 10, 2025
Thank you so much Netgalley and Zando/SJP lit for an ARC of this book !!
Being a bisexual wanna be artist myself, this book caught my eye right off the bat, along with the beautiful cover..Other than the fact the FMC got under my skin at times, this was a pure work of art. And honestly, her getting under my skin was definitely part of the Art. I love when authors make you feel real feelings towards the characters.
This was a beautiful tale of art, love, and discovery. Those things that are lost & those that are found, such as love and talent. Leaving questions in your mind, such as "how far would you put your love for someone else before the love for yourself?" "at what point do we recognize our self worth?", and so much more.
This was absolute top tier storytelling! I strongly feel this is a book all women should read at least once. It's just so empowering. And because while OBVIOUSLY men are capable of great love, only women can relate to such levels of sacrifice for love. No one can sacrifice like a woman who's in love. Even if it starts eating away at her like a debilitating disease. And this book serves as a picture perfect example!!
Needless to say I will definitely be purchasing, recommending, and re-reading!!
Being a bisexual wanna be artist myself, this book caught my eye right off the bat, along with the beautiful cover..Other than the fact the FMC got under my skin at times, this was a pure work of art. And honestly, her getting under my skin was definitely part of the Art. I love when authors make you feel real feelings towards the characters.
This was a beautiful tale of art, love, and discovery. Those things that are lost & those that are found, such as love and talent. Leaving questions in your mind, such as "how far would you put your love for someone else before the love for yourself?" "at what point do we recognize our self worth?", and so much more.
This was absolute top tier storytelling! I strongly feel this is a book all women should read at least once. It's just so empowering. And because while OBVIOUSLY men are capable of great love, only women can relate to such levels of sacrifice for love. No one can sacrifice like a woman who's in love. Even if it starts eating away at her like a debilitating disease. And this book serves as a picture perfect example!!
Needless to say I will definitely be purchasing, recommending, and re-reading!!
November 6, 2025
It is hard to write a review of a book when a) you are a historian of Dutch art, and b) the book openly admits that it is not interested in being a faithful representation of history. While there are things that bothered me, like characters referencing events that happened before they were born as if they experienced them firsthand, this wouldn't necessarily ruin my experience if the book was well-executed. If we accept this book on its own terms, however, and see it as a "reimagining" of the life of the painter Maria van Oosterwijck and a love story, then it is still a massive disappointment.
At least this novel poses an interesting philosophical question - how much can you change the life of a real person before the word "reimagining" becomes disingenuous? The character on the page follows the general outline of Maria's life, in that she is a female still-life painter with a servant-turned-assistant named Geertje, but her birthplace, the details of her career, and the documented accounts of her values and personality are all changed. One of the few facts we know about Maria van Oosterwijck is that religion was important to her, yet in this book, that has been transformed into a detail she made up for good press. There is nothing wrong with being inspired by the story of Maria and Geertje and using them to create your own original characters, and nothing in the story would be substantially different if the author went down this route, since they are both unrecognizable anyway. At least that way, I wouldn't have been left with the pit in my stomach, knowing that while Maria's work still has to fight for recognition, there is an author out there making the fictional claim that she didn't make any of her late-career paintings.
This book is also marketed as a sapphic love story, which, while technically true, feels misleading. This is the story of a physically, verbally, and mentally abusive relationship. Maria weaponizes her position of power throughout the book, and Gerta commits some stomach-churning actions that make her impossible to root for. It is impossible to escape this toxic dynamic because there is almost nothing else to the story. Maria and Gerta are the only characters who have narrative arcs. The setting, the secondary characters, and even the paintings are all used as props to further the story of these two women.
I felt compelled to write a detailed review because every other one I have seen has been positive, with many of them stating that they don’t know the art history behind it. While Redel is open about changing parts of these real women’s lives to fit the story she wanted to tell, without knowing much about the topic, it can be hard to discern just how much of a disservice she is doing to these people. The retelling of artists’ lives was a huge genre in the early 2000s, Girl with a Pearl Earring and the Passion of Artemisia being two I have read, and it is disappointing to see that this book just serves up the same tropes with no improvement, even twenty years later. Maria van Oosterwijck and Geertje Pieters were two women artists – among many! – in the Dutch Republic who lived fruitful, fulfilling, interesting lives. Instead of celebrating them, this book feels like it is dragging them through a gauntlet of invented tortures.
At least this novel poses an interesting philosophical question - how much can you change the life of a real person before the word "reimagining" becomes disingenuous? The character on the page follows the general outline of Maria's life, in that she is a female still-life painter with a servant-turned-assistant named Geertje, but her birthplace, the details of her career, and the documented accounts of her values and personality are all changed. One of the few facts we know about Maria van Oosterwijck is that religion was important to her, yet in this book, that has been transformed into a detail she made up for good press. There is nothing wrong with being inspired by the story of Maria and Geertje and using them to create your own original characters, and nothing in the story would be substantially different if the author went down this route, since they are both unrecognizable anyway. At least that way, I wouldn't have been left with the pit in my stomach, knowing that while Maria's work still has to fight for recognition, there is an author out there making the fictional claim that she didn't make any of her late-career paintings.
This book is also marketed as a sapphic love story, which, while technically true, feels misleading. This is the story of a physically, verbally, and mentally abusive relationship. Maria weaponizes her position of power throughout the book, and Gerta commits some stomach-churning actions that make her impossible to root for. It is impossible to escape this toxic dynamic because there is almost nothing else to the story. Maria and Gerta are the only characters who have narrative arcs. The setting, the secondary characters, and even the paintings are all used as props to further the story of these two women.
I felt compelled to write a detailed review because every other one I have seen has been positive, with many of them stating that they don’t know the art history behind it. While Redel is open about changing parts of these real women’s lives to fit the story she wanted to tell, without knowing much about the topic, it can be hard to discern just how much of a disservice she is doing to these people. The retelling of artists’ lives was a huge genre in the early 2000s, Girl with a Pearl Earring and the Passion of Artemisia being two I have read, and it is disappointing to see that this book just serves up the same tropes with no improvement, even twenty years later. Maria van Oosterwijck and Geertje Pieters were two women artists – among many! – in the Dutch Republic who lived fruitful, fulfilling, interesting lives. Instead of celebrating them, this book feels like it is dragging them through a gauntlet of invented tortures.
December 19, 2025
Even though I'm Dutch and grew up on the Old Masters, I knew next to nothing about Maria van Oosterwijck. And so, I read this book as fiction, without fact checking, just enjoying the play.
As such, I Am You is a stunner read, exceptionally well written, poetry in motion.
I loved everything about it, good, bad and ugly. Two women in a men's world in artistic Amsterdam, the constant powerplay mixed with nature's beauty, all brought to the perfect finale.
Thank you Netgalley and Firefinch Publishing for the ARC.
As such, I Am You is a stunner read, exceptionally well written, poetry in motion.
I loved everything about it, good, bad and ugly. Two women in a men's world in artistic Amsterdam, the constant powerplay mixed with nature's beauty, all brought to the perfect finale.
Thank you Netgalley and Firefinch Publishing for the ARC.
September 4, 2025
An utterly original work of historical fiction. I Am You documents Amsterdam in the golden age of Rembrandt and Vermeer, focusing on a woman painter with a servant who becomes her assistant, then her partner, and lover. When Gerta is 7 her family cuts her hair, dresses her as a boy called Pieter, and sends her to work for Maria Oosterwijk's family. Maria, a budding artist, takes Gerta/Pieter with her eventually to Amsterdam where Maria becomes a celebrated artist. This is a love story and a story about an artistic partnership and rivalry that explores the position of women, and the importance of passion and art.
December 15, 2025
5 Stars
I Am You by Victoria Redel is a masterpiece. Period. As the author acknowledges that poetic license may have been employed in depicting the life events of Dutch artist Maria van Oosterwijck, ultimately, it does not matter within the broader scope of the novel, as Redel ensures that her interpretation surpasses any strict adherence to historical reality.
The poetic prose—dear reader, the author’s language made me feel intoxicated just by witnessing pure, unfiltered talent. The talent of arranging words into sentences and paragraphs that transcend simple ideas, producing remarkable depth and in turn heightened emotion.
The plot twists were sharp, the foreshadowing blended seamlessly into the narrative and the characters were vibrant and lifelike.
I Am You is a beautiful story of transformation through life- adapting, omitting and revising in order to endure, to flourish and ultimately to survive. I highly recommend this book.
I Am You by Victoria Redel is a masterpiece. Period. As the author acknowledges that poetic license may have been employed in depicting the life events of Dutch artist Maria van Oosterwijck, ultimately, it does not matter within the broader scope of the novel, as Redel ensures that her interpretation surpasses any strict adherence to historical reality.
The poetic prose—dear reader, the author’s language made me feel intoxicated just by witnessing pure, unfiltered talent. The talent of arranging words into sentences and paragraphs that transcend simple ideas, producing remarkable depth and in turn heightened emotion.
The plot twists were sharp, the foreshadowing blended seamlessly into the narrative and the characters were vibrant and lifelike.
I Am You is a beautiful story of transformation through life- adapting, omitting and revising in order to endure, to flourish and ultimately to survive. I highly recommend this book.
August 26, 2025
I Am You is a passionately heartbreaking, complex love story set in the 1600's in which two women's lives one whose social status is higher, evolve and revolve around each other. Their need to be together prevails on so many different levels and yet they sometimes appear to be like oil and water, a desperate need to be separate. But in the end, they can't resist the love and need they each feel which will last their whole lives. This wonderful story although fiction, is based on the real Maria van Oosterwijck, who was the only female painter at the time.
In Amsterdam, back in the 1600's a young woman must disguise herself as a boy in order to survive in the house she is a servant. An orphan, she has nowhere to go. Her name is Gerta Pieters, but they all know her as Pieters, a young boy. Except for one person. The young daughter of the esteemed family suspects what Gerta is doing. Her name is Maria van Oosterwijck and she is a painter.
When it is decided that Maria must move for her career, she insists that Gerta accompany her as her servant. And thus begins the story of these two women as they try to exist in a male dominated society with Maria attempting to break through the men's monopoly in art as a painter.
But their lives will become even more tangled as Maria treats Gerta as her servant but also her teacher and shows Gerta how to use colors and paint. But teacher and student become entangled even more so as they begin to get closer and fall in love.
As time goes on and Gerta's progress in art begins to shine, Maria begins having physical problems which make her unable to work without Gerta's help. But this must be kept hidden, as is most of their relationship. Gerta must hide her talent for the sake of her employee as well as their love story. Unfortunately, jealousy is a silent green-eyed monster.
Gerta finds it difficult to maneuver all the moving pieces of their complicated lives which is made even more complicated by Maria's nephew who Gerta is resentful of and dislikes. But Maria too is envious as Gerta begins to become known in the art world.
I Am You is a mesmerizing love story, set in a time when this love could never be known, when a woman painter was unheard of and whose relationship was so much more than what anyone would ever have suspected. Where one of them begins, the other will be there with love and their secrets for an eternity.
Thank you #NetGalley #SJPLit #VictoriaRedel #IAmYou for the advanced copy. Pre order for September 30 release.
In Amsterdam, back in the 1600's a young woman must disguise herself as a boy in order to survive in the house she is a servant. An orphan, she has nowhere to go. Her name is Gerta Pieters, but they all know her as Pieters, a young boy. Except for one person. The young daughter of the esteemed family suspects what Gerta is doing. Her name is Maria van Oosterwijck and she is a painter.
When it is decided that Maria must move for her career, she insists that Gerta accompany her as her servant. And thus begins the story of these two women as they try to exist in a male dominated society with Maria attempting to break through the men's monopoly in art as a painter.
But their lives will become even more tangled as Maria treats Gerta as her servant but also her teacher and shows Gerta how to use colors and paint. But teacher and student become entangled even more so as they begin to get closer and fall in love.
As time goes on and Gerta's progress in art begins to shine, Maria begins having physical problems which make her unable to work without Gerta's help. But this must be kept hidden, as is most of their relationship. Gerta must hide her talent for the sake of her employee as well as their love story. Unfortunately, jealousy is a silent green-eyed monster.
Gerta finds it difficult to maneuver all the moving pieces of their complicated lives which is made even more complicated by Maria's nephew who Gerta is resentful of and dislikes. But Maria too is envious as Gerta begins to become known in the art world.
I Am You is a mesmerizing love story, set in a time when this love could never be known, when a woman painter was unheard of and whose relationship was so much more than what anyone would ever have suspected. Where one of them begins, the other will be there with love and their secrets for an eternity.
Thank you #NetGalley #SJPLit #VictoriaRedel #IAmYou for the advanced copy. Pre order for September 30 release.
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December 2, 2025dnf 50%
just not in the mood to continue with it rn
but i enjoyed my time with it overall
just not in the mood to continue with it rn
but i enjoyed my time with it overall
December 10, 2025
As a feminist and Historian (English Historian) by profession; I can confirm that women of any formidable stature or talent are often written out of history. This is exceptionally true in art history where many master female artists are just NOW receiving some of their due credit and even still considerably less than their male counterparts. One of these extraordinary female painters just beginning to find mainstream coverage is 17th century Dutch painter, Maria van Oosterwijck. Maria formally painted 30 works of florals and stills which were in high demand during her lifetime not only with contemporaries but nobility, the King and Queen of England and emperors. Yet her name is not a common household fluttering, she was JUST admitted into the Amsterdam Museum and there is not a wide source of information available surrounding her work and person. Even lesser known is her romantic sphere meaning that there is a vast amount of space free to take liberties when re-imagining her life. And re- imagining is exactly what Victoria Redel did in the historical fiction novel surrounding the life of Maria van Oosterwijck in, “I Am You”.
“I Am You” is a wildly dramatized and fictional view of Maria’s life with a lesser focus on her life as a painter and instead creates a novel world of utter fantasy filled with a maid Gerta (who was originally dressed as a boy, Pieter) turned art assistant/artist turned lesbian lover/partner. Redel attempts to weave a tapestry filled with intrigue, lust, toxicity, love, and scandal; sadly only supplemented by the colors of paints and canvas artwork. There is no extant proof of an assistant (much less a lesbian lover assistant) in Maria’s life and Redel admits to being in the business of fiction versus history; so readers looking to learn about Maria van Oosterwijck should merely take “I Am You” as an introduction and with a grain of salt.
Initially, “I Am You” opens with a unique and intriguing tale that invigorates readers to the narration of Gerta and her attraction to Maria’s person and talents even as a young child. Readers walk alongside Maria with her sexual awakening and her own artistic prowess exploring the world of making and acquiring paint, the artistic process and the difficulties of being a woman in yet another patriarchy-driven environment. At this point, “I Am You” is a strong page-turner that stands on its own legs. Sadly, this isn’t a lasting consistency and “I Am You” begins to fall short.
One of most prominent absences in “I Am You” is the lapse in truly revealing anything about Maria van Oosterwijck. This is partly because the perspective is told from the eyes of Gerta; but also because Redel could have still strategically and successfully made Maria a poignant character and she refrained. Much of “I Am You” feels very reserved and ‘held back’ which is odd given that the fictionalized content is scandalous in nature. “I Am You” could have been strikingly touching on the topics of art, feminism and lesbianism (in the vein of Sarah Churchill in “Duchess”); but “I Am You” merely tip-toes this crescendo.
In relation, the characters in “I Am You” barely exhibit growth or character arcs making them feel very one-note which, naturally, slackens the pace of “I Am You” and essentially makes the novel ‘boring’. Even when Gerta and Maria are women in middle age; they minimally progressed from their child selves and the entire plot is painfully repetitive – both the characters and storyline are stagnant. “I Am You” becomes so slow that it is predictable and even the sensationalism feels stale and out of place.
As a historian, one of my main qualms was how modern “I Am You” feels in terms of speaking, actions, life. It is like a Halloween costume masquerade of the 17th century and is hardly believable aside from a few key points thrown in. “I Am You” is a historical fiction so this should still feel accurate and instead is ‘off’ to the point where it is detrimental to the reading. On the other hand, the actual art descriptions were vivid and bold making it is obvious that Redel did a tremendous amount of research on this front (which she confirms in her afterword). More of this would have strengthened “I Am You”.
The climax and finality of “I Am You” is also cringe-worthy and unbelievable. Although readers can understand the underlying message/message Redel was attempting to hardline; the text isn’t memorable, evocative nor emotive. “I Am You” had so much potential but the execution is poor and is an over-hyped work.
Despite my numerous complaints which I admit are not shining the brightest light on “I Am You”; it isn’t horrible and is suggested for art history (especially women’s studies) fans, readers of feminism and sexual exploration. Just don’t expect a mind-blowing book: this one simply had a great marketing campaign but not a simultaneously great novel.
“I Am You” is a wildly dramatized and fictional view of Maria’s life with a lesser focus on her life as a painter and instead creates a novel world of utter fantasy filled with a maid Gerta (who was originally dressed as a boy, Pieter) turned art assistant/artist turned lesbian lover/partner. Redel attempts to weave a tapestry filled with intrigue, lust, toxicity, love, and scandal; sadly only supplemented by the colors of paints and canvas artwork. There is no extant proof of an assistant (much less a lesbian lover assistant) in Maria’s life and Redel admits to being in the business of fiction versus history; so readers looking to learn about Maria van Oosterwijck should merely take “I Am You” as an introduction and with a grain of salt.
Initially, “I Am You” opens with a unique and intriguing tale that invigorates readers to the narration of Gerta and her attraction to Maria’s person and talents even as a young child. Readers walk alongside Maria with her sexual awakening and her own artistic prowess exploring the world of making and acquiring paint, the artistic process and the difficulties of being a woman in yet another patriarchy-driven environment. At this point, “I Am You” is a strong page-turner that stands on its own legs. Sadly, this isn’t a lasting consistency and “I Am You” begins to fall short.
One of most prominent absences in “I Am You” is the lapse in truly revealing anything about Maria van Oosterwijck. This is partly because the perspective is told from the eyes of Gerta; but also because Redel could have still strategically and successfully made Maria a poignant character and she refrained. Much of “I Am You” feels very reserved and ‘held back’ which is odd given that the fictionalized content is scandalous in nature. “I Am You” could have been strikingly touching on the topics of art, feminism and lesbianism (in the vein of Sarah Churchill in “Duchess”); but “I Am You” merely tip-toes this crescendo.
In relation, the characters in “I Am You” barely exhibit growth or character arcs making them feel very one-note which, naturally, slackens the pace of “I Am You” and essentially makes the novel ‘boring’. Even when Gerta and Maria are women in middle age; they minimally progressed from their child selves and the entire plot is painfully repetitive – both the characters and storyline are stagnant. “I Am You” becomes so slow that it is predictable and even the sensationalism feels stale and out of place.
As a historian, one of my main qualms was how modern “I Am You” feels in terms of speaking, actions, life. It is like a Halloween costume masquerade of the 17th century and is hardly believable aside from a few key points thrown in. “I Am You” is a historical fiction so this should still feel accurate and instead is ‘off’ to the point where it is detrimental to the reading. On the other hand, the actual art descriptions were vivid and bold making it is obvious that Redel did a tremendous amount of research on this front (which she confirms in her afterword). More of this would have strengthened “I Am You”.
The climax and finality of “I Am You” is also cringe-worthy and unbelievable. Although readers can understand the underlying message/message Redel was attempting to hardline; the text isn’t memorable, evocative nor emotive. “I Am You” had so much potential but the execution is poor and is an over-hyped work.
Despite my numerous complaints which I admit are not shining the brightest light on “I Am You”; it isn’t horrible and is suggested for art history (especially women’s studies) fans, readers of feminism and sexual exploration. Just don’t expect a mind-blowing book: this one simply had a great marketing campaign but not a simultaneously great novel.
July 18, 2025
To me, this is a story not necessarily about art, but about discovering who you are and claiming your own identity, especially if you live in the shadow of a toxic and manipulative person (who also just happens to be the one you love). And there is also a lot of art. In fact, the whole book feels like a work of art!
As someone who has lived in the shadows of others in the past, and who had been essentially raised to live in the shadows, I resonate with this part of the narrative.
As a whole, this book is a 4.5 for me. It has a lot of the things I love about a novel like this: beautiful prose, deep & complex relationships, and a relatable underdog of a narrator. I don’t read much historical fiction, but I have come to love fictional retellings of historical women, especially as so many have had their stories erased. And this one was extremely beautiful and well-written.
I did feel as though the conflict could’ve been made a little stronger, as the mid-point of the book felt almost more tense than the conflict. But overall, I do understand the vision for the way it ended how it did.
There are a few intense moments for trigger warnings which I will list below. Please stop reading here if you do not want any potential spoilers!
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Trigger Warnings:
- Graphic depiction of sexual assault
- Brief mentions of sexual harassment
- Graphic depiction of animal abuse (specifically toward the end)
- Graphic depiction of abortion
- Grief around death of parent(s) & family (deaths occur early on and are processed near the end)
- Toxic & manipulative relationship
- It’s a sapphic book taking place in the 1600s, so, you know, there’s rampant sexism/homophobia. Although I wouldn’t call it central to the book or its plot, it’s still very prevalent
I’m sure there’s others, but those are the most prominent/top of mind as of now.
Thank you to the publisher & Zando for sending me this ARC!
As someone who has lived in the shadows of others in the past, and who had been essentially raised to live in the shadows, I resonate with this part of the narrative.
As a whole, this book is a 4.5 for me. It has a lot of the things I love about a novel like this: beautiful prose, deep & complex relationships, and a relatable underdog of a narrator. I don’t read much historical fiction, but I have come to love fictional retellings of historical women, especially as so many have had their stories erased. And this one was extremely beautiful and well-written.
I did feel as though the conflict could’ve been made a little stronger, as the mid-point of the book felt almost more tense than the conflict. But overall, I do understand the vision for the way it ended how it did.
There are a few intense moments for trigger warnings which I will list below. Please stop reading here if you do not want any potential spoilers!
*
*
*
*
*
Trigger Warnings:
- Graphic depiction of sexual assault
- Brief mentions of sexual harassment
- Graphic depiction of animal abuse (specifically toward the end)
- Graphic depiction of abortion
- Grief around death of parent(s) & family (deaths occur early on and are processed near the end)
- Toxic & manipulative relationship
- It’s a sapphic book taking place in the 1600s, so, you know, there’s rampant sexism/homophobia. Although I wouldn’t call it central to the book or its plot, it’s still very prevalent
I’m sure there’s others, but those are the most prominent/top of mind as of now.
Thank you to the publisher & Zando for sending me this ARC!
July 27, 2025
WOW. The characters. The writing. The whole story.
Everything worked perfectly.
Gerta and Maria were fascinating and their relationship to each other was beautifully written.
I wish i could say more about it in detail but I don’t want to spoil anything, which is why I urge everyone to read this book!
Thank you Netgalley for giving me this ARC for an honest review.
4.25 ⭐️
Everything worked perfectly.
Gerta and Maria were fascinating and their relationship to each other was beautifully written.
I wish i could say more about it in detail but I don’t want to spoil anything, which is why I urge everyone to read this book!
Thank you Netgalley for giving me this ARC for an honest review.
4.25 ⭐️
December 31, 2025
extra star for the cover art.
September 11, 2025
4.5 stars ⭐️ Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!
This was so well written, explored so many topics, held such empowerment that it’s hard to give any notes on it. In I Am You, we follow Gerta Pieters in the Dutch 1600s, who starts working as a boy for the painter Maria van Oosterwijck. It’s best to go in blindly to the story, but the unapologetic style of writing and the exploration of gender, women’s relationships, art and painting, friendship, jealousy, grief, all against a historic backdrop without making its limits the center of the story was really interesting.
I joked at the beginning of the book that I would grab my red pen to correct historical fiction about the Netherlands. Perhaps the only thing I missed in the book was more of that historic setting: there were city names, some Dutch painters, but very little of what actually felt Dutch. No culture or traditions or buildings or habits are referenced which makes it feel like the book could be taking place anywhere. Perhaps not something everyone would miss - but something that as a person from the Netherlands I loved to would have seen.
This was so well written, explored so many topics, held such empowerment that it’s hard to give any notes on it. In I Am You, we follow Gerta Pieters in the Dutch 1600s, who starts working as a boy for the painter Maria van Oosterwijck. It’s best to go in blindly to the story, but the unapologetic style of writing and the exploration of gender, women’s relationships, art and painting, friendship, jealousy, grief, all against a historic backdrop without making its limits the center of the story was really interesting.
I joked at the beginning of the book that I would grab my red pen to correct historical fiction about the Netherlands. Perhaps the only thing I missed in the book was more of that historic setting: there were city names, some Dutch painters, but very little of what actually felt Dutch. No culture or traditions or buildings or habits are referenced which makes it feel like the book could be taking place anywhere. Perhaps not something everyone would miss - but something that as a person from the Netherlands I loved to would have seen.
October 23, 2025
A lyrical and descriptive novel. Set in the 17th century Amsterdam. A still-life flower painter teaches her servant how to paint. The story takes on a life of it's own in how it evolves, changes and refines. Much like how an artist develops their paintings. This was an outstanding book that I would highly recommend!
September 12, 2025
4.5 stars
In a few things I have read about Maria van Oosterwijck, many historians have said that there is very little we know about the Dutch Golden Age artist since she was a woman who never married or had children. At the time, people didn't know how to write about women outside of their perceived roles in society. I Am You does what no one has done and shows Oosterwijck has a real, raw, and flawed human with so many layers. This is heavily fictionalized and shown through the eyes of Gerta, Maria's maid, protégé, and eventual lover. Each of our cast of characters is deeply flawed, sometimes unlikeable, but so believably human. While the story is pretty low-key, it is still gripping and filled with drama. It gives Maria van Oosterwijck what many of her male contemporaries received so easily, a life story with depth and complexities. The relationships are flawed and often toxic, but written with deep genuineness and in all its imperfect glory. This is the first book I have read by this author, and I suspect it won't be my last. I really enjoyed this and was pleasantly surprised by its complexities. If you enjoy queer historical fiction, this is definitely worth checking out.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
In a few things I have read about Maria van Oosterwijck, many historians have said that there is very little we know about the Dutch Golden Age artist since she was a woman who never married or had children. At the time, people didn't know how to write about women outside of their perceived roles in society. I Am You does what no one has done and shows Oosterwijck has a real, raw, and flawed human with so many layers. This is heavily fictionalized and shown through the eyes of Gerta, Maria's maid, protégé, and eventual lover. Each of our cast of characters is deeply flawed, sometimes unlikeable, but so believably human. While the story is pretty low-key, it is still gripping and filled with drama. It gives Maria van Oosterwijck what many of her male contemporaries received so easily, a life story with depth and complexities. The relationships are flawed and often toxic, but written with deep genuineness and in all its imperfect glory. This is the first book I have read by this author, and I suspect it won't be my last. I really enjoyed this and was pleasantly surprised by its complexities. If you enjoy queer historical fiction, this is definitely worth checking out.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
August 2, 2025
Thank you to the author, Victoria Redel, and the Publisher, SJP Lit, (and to NetGalley) for this wonderful eARC!
Finishing this book was like coming out of a wonderful, dream-like haze. I feel that the world outside its pages is dim, more devoid of color than the words in this picture-less novel. Somehow the sun looks less bright. Redel has captured the saturated hues of color, emotion, love, betrayal, and agony in deeper shades than I’ve ever read them. She is a true talent.
This book is narrated by Pieter/Gerta, an orphan-turned-servant-turned-maid, and follows her and Maria van Oosterwijck, a famous Dutch still-life painter. Their life together is little chronicled, as noted by the author, so this book is largely fictional. However, that doesn’t mean it reads as anything but lush and beautiful, full of the pain of life and push and pull of morality. We see these women struggle through many trials (I want to be vague here bc I would NOT want to ruin the surprises)- as women, unmarried, living in Europe in the 1600s.
I am addicted to the description of color, as well as the painstaking detail used in describing the creation of inks and dyes!! I don’t think I’ll ever think positively about horse urine, but I will definitely think twice before calling it useless! This book is unique in that it starts like a sad song- low, slow, thick- and builds to a fever pitch at the end. I love the pacing and thought that the story ramped up just as my own (and Greta’s) emotions seemed to reach a fever pitch. I relate to some of it (as a gay person…I mean as a dutiful roommate!), and some of it is beyond me, as I’m not a creative by trade (though I would love to hear the opinion of someone who fits that bill). The longing, the yearning, the internal struggle, it was all so so raw, and so heartbreakingly beautiful. I’ve never used “awesome” or “terrible” as their original uses, but this book is both- great and terrible, inspiring and awesome. The pain of identity, the gnashing of teeth at discovering your own needs, and then deciding if you will honor or ignore them. The burning itch to satisfy your desires, shoved down and buried under duty and expectation and guilt. So powerful.
If you like lush stories, historical fiction, morally gray gay people, and/or painting, this will be a gem for your shelf.
Thank you again so much for this beautiful ARC, NetGalley/SJP Lit! Thank you Victoria Redel for creating such a beautiful piece of art.
Finishing this book was like coming out of a wonderful, dream-like haze. I feel that the world outside its pages is dim, more devoid of color than the words in this picture-less novel. Somehow the sun looks less bright. Redel has captured the saturated hues of color, emotion, love, betrayal, and agony in deeper shades than I’ve ever read them. She is a true talent.
This book is narrated by Pieter/Gerta, an orphan-turned-servant-turned-maid, and follows her and Maria van Oosterwijck, a famous Dutch still-life painter. Their life together is little chronicled, as noted by the author, so this book is largely fictional. However, that doesn’t mean it reads as anything but lush and beautiful, full of the pain of life and push and pull of morality. We see these women struggle through many trials (I want to be vague here bc I would NOT want to ruin the surprises)- as women, unmarried, living in Europe in the 1600s.
I am addicted to the description of color, as well as the painstaking detail used in describing the creation of inks and dyes!! I don’t think I’ll ever think positively about horse urine, but I will definitely think twice before calling it useless! This book is unique in that it starts like a sad song- low, slow, thick- and builds to a fever pitch at the end. I love the pacing and thought that the story ramped up just as my own (and Greta’s) emotions seemed to reach a fever pitch. I relate to some of it (as a gay person…I mean as a dutiful roommate!), and some of it is beyond me, as I’m not a creative by trade (though I would love to hear the opinion of someone who fits that bill). The longing, the yearning, the internal struggle, it was all so so raw, and so heartbreakingly beautiful. I’ve never used “awesome” or “terrible” as their original uses, but this book is both- great and terrible, inspiring and awesome. The pain of identity, the gnashing of teeth at discovering your own needs, and then deciding if you will honor or ignore them. The burning itch to satisfy your desires, shoved down and buried under duty and expectation and guilt. So powerful.
If you like lush stories, historical fiction, morally gray gay people, and/or painting, this will be a gem for your shelf.
Thank you again so much for this beautiful ARC, NetGalley/SJP Lit! Thank you Victoria Redel for creating such a beautiful piece of art.
November 2, 2025
I came across this book in the Jewish Book Council's newsletter. This was an article written by the author describing some of her research for the book and specifically the Jewish aspects of the story.
I am always interested in Jewish content and historical fiction is one of my favored genres so I picked it up.
This is a story about a Dutch artist Marie Van Oosterwijck who lived in the 1600s with her servant Geertje Pieters. The Jewish content was minimal. One chapter out of twenty one chapters.
Redel goes into great description about paints and how they were made. The story is told through the eyes of the servant. It has a similar message to that of "My Fair Lady," that when teaching a woman to alter herself to appear as someone else the teacher forgets that this very much also changes how that woman thinks of herself as well.
The novel dragged on for me with too much description that felt repetitive. I plowed through waiting for the climatic ending.
I am always interested in Jewish content and historical fiction is one of my favored genres so I picked it up.
This is a story about a Dutch artist Marie Van Oosterwijck who lived in the 1600s with her servant Geertje Pieters. The Jewish content was minimal. One chapter out of twenty one chapters.
Redel goes into great description about paints and how they were made. The story is told through the eyes of the servant. It has a similar message to that of "My Fair Lady," that when teaching a woman to alter herself to appear as someone else the teacher forgets that this very much also changes how that woman thinks of herself as well.
The novel dragged on for me with too much description that felt repetitive. I plowed through waiting for the climatic ending.
November 1, 2025
Little is known about the Dutch Golden Age painter Maria van Oosterwijck, famous for her floral still life paintings. It is known that Maria began her career in Delft, a town in the modern-day Netherlands, before relocating to Utrecht and finally Amsterdam, where she enjoyed a prosperous career and ran her own studio. It is also known that she taught her servant, Gerta Pieters, how to mix her paints, and trained her as a painter. It is this story that captures Victoria Redel's imagination as she fictionalizes the life of Maria in I Am You, which is narrated by Gerta and focuses on the complex relationship between the two women.
Read my full review HERE on BookBrowse and an article I wrote on the Dutch Golden Age HERE.
Read my full review HERE on BookBrowse and an article I wrote on the Dutch Golden Age HERE.
December 2, 2025
I really wanted to like this book, the story seemed compelling. But the historical inaccuracies, toxic relationships and violence were not for me.
December 5, 2025
3.5/5
This queer read wasn't emotionally constipated enough for my tastes. Kidding, but only just. In any case, it's been a bit since i treated with historical fiction of this breed: riotously spontaneous, intricately sensual, and otherwise stretching out a single infosite or two into a full fledged novel. It works if it matches your personal prose preference or imaginative jut, but let the senses dull and the credibility slack just once, and you have a whole lot of noise accompanied by very little pay off. It certainly got me thinking about the Dutch 'Golden Age' and all its ramifications (Rembrandt especially), but just as the 'Golden' is just imperialism by any other name (consider New Amsterdam), and there's only so many times rapacious greed can cloak itself in the lilt of lapis lazuli and the cut of cochineal true. Then there was the authorial interpretation that grew wobbly in the last 50 or pages and near completely ran off the rails in the conclusion. It made for a nice bit of complicated fleshing out, but I am not of the mind to sympathize with a tale that is more in love with its pathos than its ethos and does not bring the logos to match. Still, not everyone's an overeducated armchair queer, and if I had had access to this as part of my perennial pile of historical fiction back in the high school days, the brave new world's I could've embarked upon that much sooner. Alas that this came too late, but that's also a sign of growth, if less overtly celebratory.
P.S. Speaking as a trans man, that early scene involving authoritarian detransitioning was more than a little painful, especially with the times being what they are. So, a warning for those for whom gender is the name of the game, rather than sexuality.
This queer read wasn't emotionally constipated enough for my tastes. Kidding, but only just. In any case, it's been a bit since i treated with historical fiction of this breed: riotously spontaneous, intricately sensual, and otherwise stretching out a single infosite or two into a full fledged novel. It works if it matches your personal prose preference or imaginative jut, but let the senses dull and the credibility slack just once, and you have a whole lot of noise accompanied by very little pay off. It certainly got me thinking about the Dutch 'Golden Age' and all its ramifications (Rembrandt especially), but just as the 'Golden' is just imperialism by any other name (consider New Amsterdam), and there's only so many times rapacious greed can cloak itself in the lilt of lapis lazuli and the cut of cochineal true. Then there was the authorial interpretation that grew wobbly in the last 50 or pages and near completely ran off the rails in the conclusion. It made for a nice bit of complicated fleshing out, but I am not of the mind to sympathize with a tale that is more in love with its pathos than its ethos and does not bring the logos to match. Still, not everyone's an overeducated armchair queer, and if I had had access to this as part of my perennial pile of historical fiction back in the high school days, the brave new world's I could've embarked upon that much sooner. Alas that this came too late, but that's also a sign of growth, if less overtly celebratory.
P.S. Speaking as a trans man, that early scene involving authoritarian detransitioning was more than a little painful, especially with the times being what they are. So, a warning for those for whom gender is the name of the game, rather than sexuality.
November 4, 2025
Interesting historical fiction. A female painter in the mid 1600’s begins to rise amid the criticism and disrespect of the Master Dutch artists. Only men could host art workshops and have male apprenticeships. However, Maria was exceptional. Then her maid becomes well versed in creating unique inks and paints for her mistress. The two become inseparable even though Maria always hold her station in life above Gerta’s. In the end Gerta becomes even better as an artist and takes over Maria’s commissions because of a health condition that Maria becomes afflicted with. Both were considered little known artists in this time period.
October 29, 2025
Loved it! So different than what I've been reading.
December 12, 2025
a really beautiful work of historical fiction, the descriptions of painting and the artist workshop are great and the discussions of classism and sexism in the 1600s added a lot to the story.
December 13, 2025
i didn’t realize how much i loved 16th century lesbians and painting. this was so poetic, brilliant, and stunning. pairing this novel with rosalía’s Lux was [chefs kiss].
November 5, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher Zando Projects/SJP Lit for the digital ARC, it has not affected my honest review.
TW: sexual assault, rape, abortion, animal cruelty, grief, terminal illness, homophobia
Inspired in part by the life story of the 1600s Dutch painter Maria van Oosterwijck and her assistant Geertgen Wyntges, ‘I Am You’ imagines a world where the two women fell in love in the midst of a male dominated artistic society. As a child, Gerta is forced to take on a male identity- Pieter- and sent to work for the Oosterwijck family as a servant. While there, she lives with the freedom of a boy- chopping wood, caring for the gardens and other tasks while unintentionally acting as the model for the family’s talented teen daughter, Maria. A few years later, Maria reveals she’s known who Gerta is all along and insists that Gerta come with her to Utrecht, where Maria will apprentice as a painter in a workshop. While there, they both discover that acceptance into the painters’ guild is impossible for a woman and their relationship shifts into something deeper. Maria’s star soars while Gerta discovers her own skill in creating paint pigment but the Dutch Golden Age isn’t ready for what they can do- or what their love can be, especially as they move from servant to student to lovers to unintentional rivals when Maria’s health breaks down.
This book has broken my heart and put it back together again a thousand times. It's exactly the kind of queer historical fiction that I love so much. Caught up in a tangled, unbalanced and ever shifting relationship with Maria, Gerta shines in both of her lives- both as Pieter, wandering down the docks for pigments or as the loyal maid/assistant Gerta- and the reader genuinely just wants the best for her. I loved how she discovered her talent for art and painting, especially because it brought so much to her life (and she’s so good at it). The language in this story is gorgeous and evocative, Gerta’s descriptions of Maria just shine from the very first time we even hear her name while her experiences with the creative process really stuck with me. The scenes where she first paints for herself are absolutely beautiful.Caught between adoration for the woman she loves and her brilliance, infuriated by the world they live in that means they can’t be public about their love and ever aware of her status as assistant/maid, Gerta is deeply complex and flawed just as Maria is, determined to claim an identity for herself even if it leads to rivalry. I particularly loved the scenes where Gerta sees a painting by Rembrandt and has a moment where she really connects with it; as a lover of art, I adored this scene and there’s even one where she meets the man himself. Although we know very little about the life of Maria van Oosterwijck, and even less about Geertgen Wyntges, I feel like I’ve lived alongside them since reading ‘I Am You’ and I have a newfound appreciation for the beauty of their still lives, I’ll never look at butterflies and flowers the same way again.
TW: sexual assault, rape, abortion, animal cruelty, grief, terminal illness, homophobia
Inspired in part by the life story of the 1600s Dutch painter Maria van Oosterwijck and her assistant Geertgen Wyntges, ‘I Am You’ imagines a world where the two women fell in love in the midst of a male dominated artistic society. As a child, Gerta is forced to take on a male identity- Pieter- and sent to work for the Oosterwijck family as a servant. While there, she lives with the freedom of a boy- chopping wood, caring for the gardens and other tasks while unintentionally acting as the model for the family’s talented teen daughter, Maria. A few years later, Maria reveals she’s known who Gerta is all along and insists that Gerta come with her to Utrecht, where Maria will apprentice as a painter in a workshop. While there, they both discover that acceptance into the painters’ guild is impossible for a woman and their relationship shifts into something deeper. Maria’s star soars while Gerta discovers her own skill in creating paint pigment but the Dutch Golden Age isn’t ready for what they can do- or what their love can be, especially as they move from servant to student to lovers to unintentional rivals when Maria’s health breaks down.
This book has broken my heart and put it back together again a thousand times. It's exactly the kind of queer historical fiction that I love so much. Caught up in a tangled, unbalanced and ever shifting relationship with Maria, Gerta shines in both of her lives- both as Pieter, wandering down the docks for pigments or as the loyal maid/assistant Gerta- and the reader genuinely just wants the best for her. I loved how she discovered her talent for art and painting, especially because it brought so much to her life (and she’s so good at it). The language in this story is gorgeous and evocative, Gerta’s descriptions of Maria just shine from the very first time we even hear her name while her experiences with the creative process really stuck with me. The scenes where she first paints for herself are absolutely beautiful.Caught between adoration for the woman she loves and her brilliance, infuriated by the world they live in that means they can’t be public about their love and ever aware of her status as assistant/maid, Gerta is deeply complex and flawed just as Maria is, determined to claim an identity for herself even if it leads to rivalry. I particularly loved the scenes where Gerta sees a painting by Rembrandt and has a moment where she really connects with it; as a lover of art, I adored this scene and there’s even one where she meets the man himself. Although we know very little about the life of Maria van Oosterwijck, and even less about Geertgen Wyntges, I feel like I’ve lived alongside them since reading ‘I Am You’ and I have a newfound appreciation for the beauty of their still lives, I’ll never look at butterflies and flowers the same way again.
September 15, 2025
I Am You gives us Gerta and Maria through their lives. As a child, Gerta is sent to work for Maria's family as a boy (with her short hair and britches) and many years later, when her lie is discovered, Maria brings her to Utrecht to be her painting apprentice. Over time, their relationship develops into so much more, they are often one being but there will always be the power dynamic of Gerta being the maid or assistant. Both Maria and Gerta advance in their painting skills but only one can be a household name and so Gerta stays in the background, an apprentice, a joke, a means to an end.
The way that the paintings are described throughout the book are vibrant and almost as if they are another character throughout the book. They serve as the backdrop and sometimes only witness to the lives and love between Maria and Gerta.
The characters grow and remain stubborn, they both need to be shaken sometimes but I really enjoyed it.
This will be published 09/30/2025 and I received an advanced copy from Netgalley in exchange for my review.
The way that the paintings are described throughout the book are vibrant and almost as if they are another character throughout the book. They serve as the backdrop and sometimes only witness to the lives and love between Maria and Gerta.
The characters grow and remain stubborn, they both need to be shaken sometimes but I really enjoyed it.
This will be published 09/30/2025 and I received an advanced copy from Netgalley in exchange for my review.
December 3, 2025
Oh, this one was excellent and is going to stay with me for a while. Beautifully written and excellently researched historical fiction of two painters, Maria van Oosterwijck and Geertje Pieters, during the Dutch golden age in the 1600s. This is a book of complicated women, gender and gender role bending, ownership, color mixing and two women staking their claim to a very small sliver of the male dominated world of art during the Dutch golden age.
September 26, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley, author Victoria Redel, and Zando Projects: SJP Lit for providing me with a free ARC in exchange for my honest opinion!
Sad to report this was not my cup of tea! I was really excited and intrigued by the premise of I Am You, but I pretty much had to force myself to finish it. For being right at 300 pages, it feels really dense and repetitive. I was hoping to read a sapphic love story between two artists in the 1600s, but instead, it was an obsession between an abusive woman and her maid she treated horribly. I understand that the book is set in the 1600s when things were extremely different and that this is a fictional telling of real people. However, I got really tired of reading how Maria treated Greta and the constant cycle it went through. When it talked about the painting, it was fascinating, and Redel’s writing is extremely descriptive! So that part worked for me. I’m sure there will be fans of this book out there, but it was just a bit too dull and dark for me to fully enjoy.
Sad to report this was not my cup of tea! I was really excited and intrigued by the premise of I Am You, but I pretty much had to force myself to finish it. For being right at 300 pages, it feels really dense and repetitive. I was hoping to read a sapphic love story between two artists in the 1600s, but instead, it was an obsession between an abusive woman and her maid she treated horribly. I understand that the book is set in the 1600s when things were extremely different and that this is a fictional telling of real people. However, I got really tired of reading how Maria treated Greta and the constant cycle it went through. When it talked about the painting, it was fascinating, and Redel’s writing is extremely descriptive! So that part worked for me. I’m sure there will be fans of this book out there, but it was just a bit too dull and dark for me to fully enjoy.
November 18, 2025
Be warned — if you're looking for a period romance filled with yearning between two women, be prepared for something a bit different!
"I Am You" is told from the perspective of a young woman, Gerta, whose life is in service to Maria, who happens to have been a successful still-life painter in real life. Due to this unique vantage point, much of the book is about labor; farm labor, household labor, and particularly — the labor and mechanics of painting. Unfortunately, there's very little dignity in this labor. It's the Golden Age or Amsterdam, which means social class dictates what you're "meant to" be doing. Maria, for all of her "boldness", is unable to ever truly be radical and shed her conditioning. She cannot bring herself to see Gerta as a whole person, complete with her own desires and capacities.
I found the most absorbing segments of this book to be when Redel dove in deep into the making of pigments and the compositions. The exploration of class and the many indignations that Gerta suffered went from "realistic-ish" to "masochistic" quite quickly. The romance felt like a bit of a soap opera with so many twists and turns, side characters, mysterious illnesses, and sex that wasn't always consensual. To me, romance has to be borne of mutual respect, and so, this is more of a tale of codependence and gaslighting. It really left me wanting!
I imagine you're meant to find the end emotionally devastating, like "Casablanca" or "La La Land", but I was just glad for it to all be over for poor Gerta. Since I didn't quite experience that swell in my belly that I do when I do actually engage with romance, I'm going to curl up in bed and watch "Portrait of a Lady on Fire".
"I Am You" is told from the perspective of a young woman, Gerta, whose life is in service to Maria, who happens to have been a successful still-life painter in real life. Due to this unique vantage point, much of the book is about labor; farm labor, household labor, and particularly — the labor and mechanics of painting. Unfortunately, there's very little dignity in this labor. It's the Golden Age or Amsterdam, which means social class dictates what you're "meant to" be doing. Maria, for all of her "boldness", is unable to ever truly be radical and shed her conditioning. She cannot bring herself to see Gerta as a whole person, complete with her own desires and capacities.
I found the most absorbing segments of this book to be when Redel dove in deep into the making of pigments and the compositions. The exploration of class and the many indignations that Gerta suffered went from "realistic-ish" to "masochistic" quite quickly. The romance felt like a bit of a soap opera with so many twists and turns, side characters, mysterious illnesses, and sex that wasn't always consensual. To me, romance has to be borne of mutual respect, and so, this is more of a tale of codependence and gaslighting. It really left me wanting!
I imagine you're meant to find the end emotionally devastating, like "Casablanca" or "La La Land", but I was just glad for it to all be over for poor Gerta. Since I didn't quite experience that swell in my belly that I do when I do actually engage with romance, I'm going to curl up in bed and watch "Portrait of a Lady on Fire".
November 26, 2025
A bit of a miss for me, but still an interesting exploration of a period of history and painters that I don't know as much about. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.
The relationship between Gerta/Pieter and Maria is deeply messy and compelling. I found their tendency to ignore problems in their relationship a little personally frustrating, but 1. it was in character and 2. this is much more literary fiction than romance novel. I would tolerate this much less in a romance novel. The tensions in their relationship, particularly around class, were well and thoughtfully explored. As a humanities person, I also loved the discussion of bodies and bodies turning into other bodies, and the difficulties that accompanied that transition because of various identities. The prose was solid; I particularly enjoyed the descriptive language around the paintings.
My biggest complaint is that the novel feels somewhat untethered temporally. It's very difficult to tell how much time actually passes during the book and when things happen in the timeline. It was not for me. Speaking of things that weren't for me, . The ending was also quite abrupt; I would have like a little more time to linger.
Solid historical fiction overall.
The relationship between Gerta/Pieter and Maria is deeply messy and compelling. I found their tendency to ignore problems in their relationship a little personally frustrating, but 1. it was in character and 2. this is much more literary fiction than romance novel. I would tolerate this much less in a romance novel. The tensions in their relationship, particularly around class, were well and thoughtfully explored. As a humanities person, I also loved the discussion of bodies and bodies turning into other bodies, and the difficulties that accompanied that transition because of various identities. The prose was solid; I particularly enjoyed the descriptive language around the paintings.
My biggest complaint is that the novel feels somewhat untethered temporally. It's very difficult to tell how much time actually passes during the book and when things happen in the timeline. It was not for me. Speaking of things that weren't for me, . The ending was also quite abrupt; I would have like a little more time to linger.
Solid historical fiction overall.
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