Desideri illeciti (I desideri più profondi Vol. 3)

The Deepest Desires #3

by Ashley James, V.C. Studios (Translator)

Crew Collins

L'impeto dello sballo. La sensazione di eccitazione mentale della prima striscia. Questo mio segreto è andato fuori controllo, ma non riesco a fermarmi. Le droghe riempiono un vuoto, aiutandomi a sentire qualcosa e niente allo stesso tempo.

Ma lui... mi fa sentire tutto.



Anderson Walker

È il mio migliore amico da sempre. Inseparabili. La vita è andata avanti, la nostra amicizia è cambiata.
Ora mi ritrovo con sentimenti che non so come gestire. C'è dell'altro in lui, nascosto sotto la superficie.
Un segreto pericoloso.

Un'ossessione mortale.

Vale la pena lottare per l'amore. E la battaglia è appena iniziata...

*“Desideri illeciti” è il terzo libro della serie interconnessa “I desideri più profondi”. È un friend to lovers MM romance che tocca argomenti pesanti, come l'uso di droghe e l'overdose."

Genres: M M Romance, Friends To Lovers, Romance, Addiction, Contemporary, College, Gay

342 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 12, 2025

About the author

Ashley James is a romance author who enjoys writing (and reading) LGBTQIA+ books. She is from Washington State—and no, not Seattle—and currently resides in South Carolina with her two kids and hairless kitties, Goose, Maverick, and Houston. Ashley is introverted and slightly (okay, majorly) awkward. She refuses to make this section sound like a tacky dating app profile, so she won't be telling you how much she enjoys music, how she thoroughly enjoys dancing and singing in her kitchen, despite not being able to carry a tune, and she won't be telling you about her love of toxic and broken fictional men.

Reviews

[Megan [At The Cottage] · Rating 1 out of 5]

I HATED this book yet I couldn’t stop reading it? If you decide to pick this up because like me you were excited about childhood friends to lovers and the angst factor this book was about to bring? Lower your expectations. I should have DNF’d this at 48% but I kept hoping it would improve. Spoiler alert: It didn’t. 💀

[Crystal (Crystalreads2) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Saying goodbye is always bittersweet sorrow. I enjoyed reading this series. I have zero triggers and hardly read trigger warnings. I know going in is fiction. But you always have that one book that seems real and opens old wounds. Illicit Desires was that book for me.

I didn’t expect Illicit Desires to have affected me the way it did. The author’s writing has revolved from book one. I felt she wrote with raw emotions and poured her heart and soul into this book.

Crew and Anderson have been best friends since they were children. Anderson is the straight narrow, and kind-hearted guy from the bunch. He has a secret desire that, so far, no woman has been able to satisfy him.

I could talk forever about Crew. My heart broke for him. He longs to be loved—hiding secrets. Drug addiction, his purpose in life, and his feelings for Anderson, It’s not like he woke up one day and said, “I will be a drug addict today. “

These two have such a deep bond, and the chemistry Is explosive. It is so freaking hot. The author gave us an insight into the mind of a drug addict. It’s far from pretty. Poor Anderson. I have been in his shoes, and loving a drug addict is far from easy.

I did question one aspect of the book. I think I was just too emotional. I trusted the process, and the result was phenomenal.

Katie is my hero. I hope to see her in future books. Maybe her book. Or her cousin and his stepdad. I want to know more about the stepfather.

[Renae Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

*** I reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.***

Illicit desires is the final entry in the Deepest Desire series and concludes with Crew and Anderson. They are best friends who have a strong and devoted bond with one another, but due to Crew's hidden drug addiction their friendship and blossoming relationship is in jeopardy.

Overall I really enjoyed this story, the subject matter is difficult to read about, but how the author allows you to understand and empathize with Crew's addiction is so well done. Even though I disagreed with Crew's actions I understood due to his rationalizing of his deceptive ways. Crew truly believed he was protecting his loved ones by hiding his biggest shame.

Anderson is so in love with his best friend that it was adorable how the slow realization of his true feelings came about. I loved how everything clicked into place for him, thus making Anderson the best advocate for Crew's recovery.

Illicit Desires is at times a challenging read, but the the angsty parts are worth it due to the wonderful HEA that is so well earned.

[Ashin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story of Crew and Anderson, two best friends, so close but still unaware of their Deepest Desires.

Chasing the next high, so that he can forget the feeling of loneliness, Crew is always on a hunt for mind tingling sensations, that epic bliss of nothingness, to avoid the void inside him.

Best friends, thick as thieves, yeah, that's how they were until life happened and things changed. But they're always there for each other, atleast that's what Anderson thought, until his best friend ended up in a hospital.

Will Crew be able to overcome his deadly obsession after facing a near death situation? What's gonna happen when Anderson finds out about Crew's dangerous secret, and learns there's more to him hidden beneath the surface?
.
This book was simply exquisite, and I had to read it, there was never any doubt in my mind about it 😌. Reading "The End" of Deepest Desires trilogy 💙💚💜 really felt nostalgic 🥺, and Ashley did an excellent job, the journey from a reader to a writer, the growth she's had is astonishing 🌼. Congratulations Ashley, so proud of you 👏🏽

Well, I was dumbfounded reading this story, mainly because I wasn't following the teasers and I knew nothing about the story except it was bestfriends to lovers, but I absolutely loved it 💟. Crew blaming himself for his parents' negligence and thinking he's not good enough for anyone was so hard to read, Baby Boy deserved everything, and he truly deserved Anderson. And Anderson, my golden boy, he was truly surprising, from being kind and compassionate, to filthy and dominating, and I can't forget the punches 👊🏽, he gave us variations man 😂. Also the mouth on these guys, pheww!! 🥵, and that kitchen scene ☠️ D E A D.

Plus, I abso-freaking-lutely loved Knox in this one, the way he talked to Crew, throughout the whole scene I was thinking soon they'll become Walkers themselves and be an actual family.....here to hoping 🤞🏽. It was lovely to see all the guys together, Bran&Luca, Knox&Aston, and Katie and Weston 👀🤨😏 we know. I'm emotional cuz this is end, but I'll always love these characters 😭❤️.

[Julia (bookish.jka) · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Right and wrong go out the window, because the only thing that matters now is his lips against mine and the earth-shattering way it's making me feel."

Wow. What a way to end a series! Illicit Desires by Ashley James is the type of book that takes you through the whole range of emotions, twists the knife in a few times, wrings you out and leaves you to dry, gasping for air...

This is Crew and Anderson's story and it's a tough, angsty read, full of emotional highs and lows, not to mention steam - a whole load of steam!

"His skin is burning up under my touch, and all I want is to leave my mark on every square inch of his body. Claim him. Mine."

Do make sure you read the author's notes and TWs, because there are several in this book that will be confronting for some readers.

That said, if you love the following tropes then read on, because you will ADORE Illicit Desires:

* Friends to lovers
* High angst
* High steam
* Bi-awakening
* First times
* Hard won HEA

Loved it.

5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Miranda · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars - Ouch, this was rough, I didn’t expect to get so emotional with this book. Anything addiction related always makes me so sentimental. I loved Crew, he needed so much love and the things he went through were so unfair. Anderson was a good friend, although I think he could have handled the addiction a bit better. Crew needed support not judgement. Knox surprised me on this one and I really liked the beautiful words he told Crew.

[25 Readings Or More · Rating 5 out of 5]

Illicit Desires was more than I expected it to be.
It was devastatingly beautiful, and heavy due to Crew' drugs addiction and his sufference...
So, here I am crying a little bit 'cause he broke my little black heart with his need to be loved.
I couldn't even reading it in one sitting because I needed time to calm down.

ALSO it was so damn HOT!!
I mean, these baby boys got a filthy mouth and I LOVED IT 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Just like in the previous books,  friendship is as important as the relationship between the main characters, and it's something I really liked. The affection these characters share warned me.
And i'm truly sad to leave all of them.

So in the end I'm just gonna say that if you are looking for a story filled with love, lust, true friendship and angst, so much angst... Illicit Desires is your story!
But be aware of triggers, it may not be everyone' cup of tea.


Ps. Katie is my f*cking heroine!! 😌😌 I love her and i'd love to read one day her story ( maybe a MMF, if you know what i'm talking about 😏😏).

Pps. And what about her cousin and his stepdad.... i'm the only one who thought about them together??! 😏😏😅

[Marci · Rating 4 out of 5]

My journey with this series is a funny one. I gave the first book one star and swore off ever reading this author again. I returned to this series three years later and ended up liking the second book, giving it three stars. And now here I am giving the final book four stars. Idk I guess sometimes never again means well, maybe in three years! I couldn’t put this book down. I really enjoyed their dynamic and I also think Ashley’s writing has improved a ton. This was solid! It’s not reinventing the wheel but it works. It’s toxic and full of dramatics which is what I felt like reading. Childhood bffs to lovers is like my personal bat signal. Have that as a trope in a book and I’m there!

[Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this story, in life nothing is black and white.
It’s worth the reading.

[Aribel Mejia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't explain in words how much I'm going to miss this world and these characters, each one of them keeps a piece of my heart, I don't know how I discovered this author but she has become one of my favorites, everything she writes is pure gold and this book was no exception, from the moment I knew that this would be Anderson and Crew's book I was very intrigued as to how they would go from friends to lovers and the truth is that WOW what a beautiful love story, with so many emotions, with so much passion, with so much love, you could smell from miles away the love and respect that these two have for each other, what a good ending for this series that has become one of my favorites, very excited for everything that this author will bring out in the future.







no puedo explicar con palabras lo que voy a extrañar este mundo y a estos personajes, cada uno de ellos se queda con un pedazo de mi corazon , no se como descubri a esta autora pero se ha convertido en una de mis favoritas, todo lo que escribe es puro oro y este libro no fue la excepcion , desde el momento que supe que este seria el libro de Anderson y Crew estuve muy intrigada de como pasarian de amigos a amantes y la vedad es que WOW que historia de amor tan bonita, con tantas emociones, con tanta pasion , con tanto amor , se podia oler a kilometros de distancia el amor y respeto que se tienen esos dos , que buen final para esta serie que se ha convertido de mis favoritas , muy emocionada por todo lo que esta autora sacara en el futuro.

[❁Ila ☽20 pages to the wind☾ · Rating 2 out of 5]

There’s nothing quite like that first line when I’m practically sober in the mornings, no poison running through my bloodstream yet. -Crew just succinctly and accurately summed up my reading routine.

But no, I just need to say that I HATE to dnf a book. It has to be truly horrible for me to take such drastic actions😂 I don't think that this book was that awful, but I did not enjoy it, and from the very first "bro", I knew it was going to be a very slippery slope😭

When I read the blurb, I was genuinely excited for the intensity and angst and that epic moment when these childhood besties eventually fell for each other.

Sadly, I couldn't bring myself to like either Anderson or Crew💔 I'm a giant softie so of course I felt for Crew anytime he was let down by his parents and his loneliness was portrayed really well, I thought, and without spoiling anything, I will say that the irony was a nice touch👀 But everything else😭...

I despised the dialogue, the romance and how these two got together which ruined any enjoyment I might have gotten out of the dirty bits, and the whole Anderson's girlfriend thing was stupid in the first place🙂🔪
I won't lie, I could have looked past a couple of things if that intensity was there and I could have actually felt that sympathy or anything, really, but I didn't and now I'm afraid to try the books before this😥

This being about dudes in college, I expected some immaturity and a little stupidity here and there but for me, there has to be some kind of charm. Unfortunately that didn't apply here either😔

I can see how so many people enjoyed this and there's definitely potential here, but it was just not my cup of tea😔

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

My critique of this book is pretty much the same as the rest of this series: poor writing, poor plot execution, characters not very fleshed out, more telling than showing, etc.

I liked the character of Crew a lot, but his trauma, his addictions, were so cliched at times. I did feel a lot for Crew but that had more to do with his situation than the author making me feel things.

Anderson, like his twin brother Aston in the previous book, was bland and his primary personality trait was that he was "the good guy." Boring.

For two guys who were supposed to be best friends since they were kids, they had a hard time talking about things and suffered from soooo much miscommunication.

I'm glad this series is over. Yay me for finishing it.

[Aricka Decker · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Anderson Judah Walker is both my brutal undoing and my earth-shattering salvation all at once. He’s my yesterday, my today, and all of my fucking tomorrows."

So this was a journey, this series is a journey. Defiantly not my favorite but book 3, the friends to lovers trope has to be my favorite of the three books. Anderson and Crew were some what interesting characters though I still dont understand the whole dirty talk at this age. Im just saying, when I was 20, no man was telling me I was a dirty little slut for their cock, and or how they loved seeing me choke on said cock. But hey, maybe I was fucking the wrong dudes, who knows. Also the whole baby boy thing got a little cringy, like cool call him baby boy a couple times but not all the time when you are pounding his ass Anderson, give me a break. Also Ashley really is into telling me every single fucking song that is playing at any moment in these books, girl I dont care. Anyways, I enjoyed this one more because something about a boy with a sad traumatic drug addiction always hits me, and well we all know the friends to lovers trope is my top trope so I was bound to enjoy it, even though I needed a little more angst with their relationship, not that we didnt get drama but I need more yearning or something when it came to fucking one another, cause that shit just happened and I was like okay we sucking dick now I guess. Anyways, it was in my opinion the best book of the trilogy. I think this is her first book series, so for a first time go at writing its not that bad, but definitely could be way better. Im not really selling this book am I? I dont know, I just kinda enjoyed it more than usual, maybe Im in a good mood.

[⋆｡°✮ Lucy InTheSky ✮°｡⋆]

DNF at 10%

Why?

By now I know all the characters here and their dynamic and with the book starting out it was clear to me already that Anderson and Crew don't really have that special connection. Crew is an island, completely on his own and I don't think he's best friends with Anderson at all.

The first time Kalen came in I knew right away it should've been Crew and Kalen. But Kalen dies in the end. If you just search Kalen in the story and read about him, immediately you just know it's not happening for Anderson and Crew.

So I'm not reading another almost 400 pages of a lukewarm love story, I'd rather move on, I paid my dues with the previous installment and I'll leave it at that.

[xxBooksILovexx · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another beautiful yet heart wrenching story from Ashley James. My heart broke over and over for Crew. Luckily he had a best friend like Anderson. I loved their amazing story! It was the perfect way to end this series. Please read all three books! So,so good.

[Brat · Rating 5 out of 5]

this story and series was just great i got to listen to them and i'm so glad i did. the characters were perfectly flawed. i really wanted to gone crew a hug. Crew was so relatable to me and it was heartbreaking but so real. now going back to reread some of ashley's other series and i can't wait

[E.L. Ough · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is EVERYTHING!!
I knew going into this that it would be hard core because Ashley just knows how to tap into your soul, she finds emotions in you that you didn’t know existed!
I just love these boys so so much, Crew is just so messed up from his parents lack of anything towards him and his years of addiction that he don’t know if he’s coming or going, the one constant in his life is Anderson his best friend.
The way these two argue, love and fuck Is just pure raw emotion and I loved seeing it all from both of them.

Crew just wanted his parents to ‘see him’ but after an unfortunate football injury everything he thought he was going to do with his life come crashing down around him and the pain meds that helped in the beginning for his injury started off his addiction to numb the pain of not being anything to anyone, especially his parents. He hid his pain and addiction from the one person who he couldn’t bare to loose, his best friend. He felt worthless and he wasn’t strong enough to quit the high he got from his drug use.

Anderson was a good friend to Crew, he made as much effort as he could to be available to him even though he had a girlfriend and his own college commitments, he was his best friend and knew how his parents were with him and after his overdose he wanted to be there for him. The more time he spent with him he realised he started to see his friend in a new light, and in the end he couldn’t fight his feelings anymore. He was naive to his friends addiction but it wasn’t his fault he was under Crews spell and didn’t realise he was being lied too.

The spice between these boys was off the charts, and I lived for it! But at the same time the sadness that Crew felt was so heartbreaking I just wanted to love on him so much. Addiction is a very real disease and it’s just as hard for the people around you as it is for the person with it, it’s a full time commitment from everyone to help an addict recover and the love and support he got from his friends is just what was needed.

This book has triggers for those sensitive to them so please read them before diving in.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶🌶🌶🌶

[Welshbookaholic · Rating 5 out of 5]

gets me every time

I love them… everything that happens in this book NEEDS TO BE THERE regardless of how painful it is. A beautiful story with such an amazing message.

Even better rereading.

Anderson and Crew ftw

P.s. Katie is still amazing

[Esra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know how I feel about the book.
There were parts that made me very angry and parts that made me cry a lot. So I'm both sad and relieved that the series is over.

[Dani · Rating 2 out of 5]

Can't relate to recreational drug use whatsoever, really not my cup of tea, but this story kind of felt too surface level? Like I have no experience with addiction but things seemed to resolve too easily.

Would have rather gotten to the breaking point quicker and had more time on the recovery and building their life together than the overly long build up. I think that would have shown better character and story progression.

Kinda going to miss this group even though I literally can't relate to how they live at all 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[Kayla Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sadly this is the the last book in the series but I definitely wasn’t disappointed! I have absolutely loved every book in this series, and look forward to reading more.

[Boyanna · Rating 1 out of 5]

So dull and generic characters in this one, their interactions were so boring and the writing didn't help, it felt so juvenile and amateurish, it wasn't that noticeable in the previous book but maybe because i just read that one first...

[gena_bookish_reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

“You're gonna need tissues for the next book.”

*𝑵𝒐𝒅𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒈* 😭😭

•
•

What do you get when you take...

- Two best friends that each one of them holds secrets.
- One of them is addicted to drugs.
- The other one is straightish and in a relationship.
- Both of them want to explore the attraction between them but they fear the consequences that this will have on their friendship.
- Unlimited hot steamy scenes 🥵
- Neither of them is 100% honest with the other.

What you get is a HOT ASS MESS 👀

Let's start with that last point. Neither Anderson nor Crew are honest with what is happening inside of them. Anderson is feeling this scorching hot passion for his best friend and starts acting on it because.. LUST. How can you avoid lust? You obviously let it consume you right? But we forgot a tiny little detail. He happens to be in a relationship. Not that I cared about that bitch. You see.. for a reason I can't quite comprehend, all the girls in this series (apart Katie) are so unlikable! I can't bring myself to feel sorry for them or for their feelings when they're crashed! Sorry but I'm not sorry. Anyway. Back to Anderson.

The only reason I was annoyed with him is because he waited to break up with her literally the last second, when Crew realized what was going on. No I don't think Anderson is a cheater or sth. What I think is that he's too kind for his own good. I mean..the man didn't talk to his girlfriend earlier because he waited for the right moment. Smh 🙄

As for Crew.. my God. Where to start and where to finish. He comes with lots of baggage and there are RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE throughout the book. Yes I could see them yet I chose to ignore them. I knew that his drug addiction would create a fucking mess and that it would hurt people around him. Himself included. Sadly he proved me right.
That scene with him crying and being so vulnerable broke my heart 💔


I can't believe that this is the last book of this series. I'm obsessed with this writer and her writing style. If the author doesn't give me more books.. I'm gonna release hell upon everything 😩

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was provided to me as an arc in return for an honest review, so here’s my review. This story wasn’t for me - I didn’t necessarily love it but can see others liking it.

The strongest points of this book were the characters dirty mouths & sex scenes, some of the sex scenes felt repetitive, nothing really standing out but they were hot and they knew how to talk in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom the communication was lacking, which is one of my biggest pet peeves in any book.

Some of my other biggest frustrations were these — It felt repetitive in general, like a formula for the three stories was used and it was fill in the blanks for drama/growth/story. Did I love Crew and Anderson? Sure. Was the story of Crew’s arc good? Yep. Did it feel like the same story from the first two books combined? Yeah. The story and drama were so similar to the other stories in the series that it felt like an extension of other characters rather than their own story. On top of that, the writing seems to have gotten more immature sounding, very young, very GenZ-wanna-be, it felt overly cringey with how some conversations were written. That made this story hard to read for me right away. Also, if these two characters were as close as they both said they were, how did Anderson not see the the change in Crew with his addiction? How could Anderson just believe it was a one time thing and then not ever check in on Crew after the first OD? There’s too many things in this that don’t make sense to me. Personally, the story of Crew’s addiction wasn’t handled in the best way, it felt forced, like there needed to be that something extra to push characters together.

Again, this story wasn’t for me - I didn’t necessarily love it but can see others liking it. I enjoyed the other two books in the series and will likely read other work from Ashley in the future.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

*completely biased Aloha read review*

I love these characters and this story. Illicit Desires is a perfect mix of what I love; self destructive behavior, secrets, turmoil, adversity as well as vulnerability, unconditional love, forgiveness, found family, support and SCORCHING hot chemistry. Anderson and Crew were worth the wait and I’m truly sad this series has come to a close.

[Kenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 or 4.25✨ I enjoyed this story it was very interesting to say the least did Crew pissed me off absolutely and Anderson was a sweetheart, but I was like I knew this would but the downfall of their relationship but THANKFULLY Crew got some common sense in the end

[Jennifer (sobrietyandbooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

:: “𝙃𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩.”

This just might be my favorite friends to lovers story yet. Ashley James knows hurt/comfort! She stays giving us these beautifully broken boys & Crew has just climbed to the top of my favorites list.

As someone who has personally struggled with alcohol & substance abuse most of my life I connected with Crew on a very deep, personal level. I think Ashley handled his addiction so well & the way she was so eloquently able to put into words his reactions both physically & mentally toward his drug of choice was incredible.

“𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙄 𝙖𝙢. 𝙈𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣’𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙤. 𝘼𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩, 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙛 𝙄’𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙜𝙤.”

Crew is so damaged & thinks he’s unworthy of love. He believes he doesn’t deserve anyone to care for him & that everyone will eventually leave but then you have Anderson

“𝙄’𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙢. 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢. 𝙄’𝙢 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛𝙞𝙨𝙝.”

Anderson is so pure & his love for Crew is so true. These two have been friends since childhood & when things start to progress into something more Anderson is all in. He knows what he wants & he takes it without fear or shame.

“𝘾𝙧𝙚𝙬 𝘾𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙫𝙤𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙡. 𝙃𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨, 𝙩𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙚.”

In true addict form Crew hides his drug use from Anderson & their group of friends but secrets never stay a secret for long. When his addiction comes to light the fallout is devastating. Crew & Anderson now have to truly face his addiction.

“𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣’𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙚. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚, 𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙖 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡. 𝙒𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩 𝙖 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙩 𝙖 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚. 𝙏𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙠. 𝙏𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧.”

Crew stole my heart & broke it ten times over throughout this book. I cried at least 3 times before I even made it to 50% but it was all worth it. This book was devastatingly beautiful.

“𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚—𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠, 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙬—𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙞𝙢, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚.“

💜 MM
💜 Dual POV
💜 Friends to Lovers
💜 Hurt/Comfort
💜 Cheating
💜 Substance Abuse

[Marie-Pierre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Illicit Desires is the third and final book in The Deepest Desires series.

Talk about finishing on a high note! Ashley has done it again! I'm SPEECHLESS after this roller coaster of a ride, driven by none other than Crew and Anderson.

Once again, I could so clearly see each scene in my mind. The level of details with which Ashley James writes is phenomenal. The words were popping off the page and I ate them all up like it was my last meal (which it sort of was... until Kismet is released 🤪)

Now this book ain't no fairy tale. Addiction is not a light subject to tackle. I've seen the sort of destruction an addiction can have on people and relationships, and it is NOT PRETTY. The author did so well and made me feel all sorts of emotions for both MCs during their struggles. I cared about them, I loved how Anderson, always the pleaser, was finally able to experience all he ever wanted, and with his best friend too! And Crew... *sigh* I wanted Crew to get better but as much as his pain broke my heart, I had to go through big feelings of frustration with him. I would definately not have known how to handle the whole situation. Anderson, my man, thank lord you stepped up and got to be exactly who Crew needed.

I was immediately drawn to the connection these 2 boys shared, especially through their eyes during the first part of the book. The looks, the gazes, the stares, it was intense and I was 💯 there for it! Being best friends for so long, it's like Crew and Anderson didn't even need to talk to communicate! But, what do you know, when they finally started, the talking was next level dirty. 🔥🤯🥵

I have to admit that I'm ECSTATIC that we got to experience a very deeply emotional and poweful scene with Knox near the end. No spoiler but, Knox, I love ya 4 ever.

Now I will never get to read this series for the first time again. It's bittersweet but so beautiful and so "felt". Do yourself a favour and dive in immediately!

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

i honestly can’t believe how bad that was. don't read if you don't like MCs cheating on each other. also will not be reading this authors work again because for some reason they love writing detailed sex scenes of the MCs with other characters not only before they get together but also AFTER. YAY:)

Crew might actually be THE WORST character I have ever read about. He's literally the boyfriend that cheats on you (twice, not once, but twice), because you asked for him to leave so you could break up with your girlfriend of two years for him, then continues to have a breakdown apologizing and telling you they were thinking of you while they proceeded to cheat. (And I HATE that Anderson took him back literally the same night he caught him cheating.) And he cheats with his drug dealer and the drug dealer wants it to be more between them which gave very much love triangle. Especially because after said drug dealer overdoses THATS when Crew decides to get clean. Not after a love confession and pleading from his childhood best friend and partner, but after his drug dealer, hook-up, and person he cheated with overdoses and dies. YAY. And I'm not even ashamed to admit this but I was so happy and actually laughed when Kalen (drug dealer, cheater, hook-up, asshole) died.

He also lied to his best friend, and future partner, for years about being a drug addict and then get mad and runs away when confronted about it. He also gets mad/sad when Anderson leaves him after he had literally just told him to leave. Honestly make it make sense.

Truly just an all around amazing character.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing!!

🖤Review🖤

“He tastes like bubblegum and raw, illicit
desire.”

Ugh, my heart. Illicit Desires, by Ashley James, was amazing, heartbreaking, beautiful…I could go on and on. I loved the first two books in the series, but Crew and Anderson destroyed me. 🖤🖤

Crew, oh my baby boy. When I think of a tortured soul, poor Crew comes to mind. My heart broke for him as he battled addiction and the despair that followed. His friendship with Anderson was precious and their love story was just as amazing as their friendship.

Anderson’s strength was so evident throughout this book!! His love for Crew and how much he wanted to be there for him during the low points was excellent to read. I also loved the stark contrast between him and Aston, his twin. After reading book 2, it was amazing to get Anderson’s story.

I cannot forget to talk about the steam. If you have read the past two books in the series, then you know the author doesn’t hold back (yasssss🥵)! Anderson and Crew were on fire together—the book definitely wasn’t lacking in heat! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Favorite quote: “Anderson Judah Walker is both my brutal undoing and my earth-shattering salvation all at once. He’s my yesterday, my today, and all of my fucking tomorrows.”

I HIGHLY recommend this book but please read the first two in the series first!! This technically can be read as a stand-alone, but trust me, you want to read the full series!! 👏🏻👏🏻🖤🖤

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️