Lessons on Living: Finding Your Way Through Life's Ups and Downs

by Nigel Latta

Bestselling author Nigel Latta's simple psychological toolkit for life's ups and downs.


What do you do when you're told you only have months to live?

If you're Nigel Latta, first, you're going to eat a lot of ice cream. And then you're going to assemble a mental toolbox to deal with every conceivable conundrum the world could throw at you (the small ones and the big ones).

After three decades working as a clinical psychologist, Nigel has found there are just three principles you need to deal with life's ups and downs. Whether you want to be a better parent, build an empire or get through some tough times, these easy-to-carry principles will help you to do that.

Consider this book a guide to how to respond in any situation, drive your own bus, and do it all with resilience, joy and attention to what matters most.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Psychology, Self Help

311 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 1, 2025

About the author

Nigel Raymond Latta ONZM was a New Zealand clinical psychologist, author and broadcaster. He has been described as "New Zealand's best-known psychologist".

Nigel Raymond Latta was born and raised in Oamaru, New Zealand. He attended Waitaki Boys' High School & he studied Marine Science and Zoology at the University of Otago, and completed a Master of Philosophy with First Class Honours in Psychology at the University of Auckland, along with a postgraduate diploma in clinical psychology.

Latta worked as a consultant in his field for private companies and government social service agencies, including Department of Corrections, the New Zealand Police and Child Youth and Family.

In the 2010s, he became known for his true crime documentaries and psychology-based television series, as the host of Beyond The Darklands, The Politically Incorrect Guide to Teenagers and The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show, and a science show called Nigel Latta Blows Stuff Up, among others. In 2016, Latta co-found Ruckus Films, a production company which produced several feature documentaries including Born This Way: Awa’s Story and Stan. He also began presenting general interest television shows, such as The Hard Stuff with Nigel Latta, which approached social and political issues,and You've Been Scammed by Nigel Latta which examines common types of scams.

Latta was appointed an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit in the 2012 Queen's Birthday and Diamond Jubilee Honours, for services to psychology.

In September 2024, Latta revealed that he had been diagnosed with "inoperable and incurable" terminal stomach cancer, and that he was undergoing chemotherapy that had shrunk the tumour by about 60 percent. Latta was told that he had 6 to 12 months to live. In February 2025, the prognosis was reduced to four weeks after a scan indicated that the cancer had spread to his lungs. However, Latta later said that, because of the treatment he was receiving, he believed he would continue to live for "years and years". In March 2025, he stated that he was no longer terminally ill. Latta died on 30 September 2025, at the age of 58 at the Mercy Hospice in Ponsonby, Auckland.

Abridged from Wikipedia, information about his death from the Stuff website.

Reviews

[James Docking · Rating 4 out of 5]

A welcome break from the narcissistic rants of many of our leaders

[Runningt Kavanagh · Rating 5 out of 5]

drive your own bus.
look for the space between your reaction and response.

an incredible leader

[Nina Parkinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful book an some simple tips of how to live life well. I enjoyed this but Nigel is me hero so might be a bit bias lol

[Joan Grant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good advice, everyone should read it

[Livia Wren · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to be unbiased about this book. I've enjoyed Latta's work for years - even when I was the teenager he was teaching my parents about how to parent - and knowing he has died and this is his final book makes it hard to critique without emotion. I think it does show it was written in a rush, and that more time with an editor would've improved it (beyond some sections that I think could've been tightened up, the brush-stroke titles have letter substitution errors that really should've been found before it went to print).

However, nonetheless, if this was written in a rush, I think it speaks to the quality of his mind and his life for it to be as good as it is. This is a book on how to survive, but it's also a book on how to squeeze as much sweetness from the world as you can in the time you've got - and largely by being a source of sweetness yourself.

Well, maybe. Maybe that's a bit reductive - but he writes about how to be a better version of yourself, and he makes it seem easy. How easy will it be in practice? I'm unsure. I've only just finished, and I haven't had a chance to put his advice into action, but for today, it seems like good advice. Assume the best. Persist. Know what you can control, and focus on that. Be curious. Care for your team. Love is the most important thing.

I borrowed this copy from a library, but I've been through some spectacularly shitty events in the last month, and I think I will need to get a copy for myself, to keep fairly handy and to dip back into it on occasion. I want to think I'll remember things, but I won't, and yet there's a lot of good juice in life that I want to get out, even when things are bleak. So yeah - this book isn't perfect. Maybe it isn't actually 5-star material. But I think it has the potential to have a 5-star impact.

[Liam McBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fuck man oh fuck. Oh fuck. Ow. Fuck man ow my heart and soul. Oh fuck man those last 50 pages hit like a bus. Oh death, you miserable bastard. Always the good ones. I hope the takeaways from this stick with me for the rest of my life. I hope I return to this book. I hope in 30 years when people are asking me questions about my life I can quote Nigel Latta and his final words of wisdom. I didn’t cry but I came closer than any book has made me so far

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an insightful, funny and moving legacy. Three simple principles: #1 drive the bus (don't be a passenger in your own life), #2 focus on the things you can control (don't waste time and energy), #3 teamwork (the best work we ever do is always with other people). RIP Nigel.

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

What do you do when you are told have months to live
Some tools to deal with any situation . ..
.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bitter-sweet emotional read. What an amazing human being and what a loss.

[Josie Laird · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a bitter-sweet read, learning about Nigels efforts to stay alive and positive while knowing that he died.
He shares very personal stories. What a caring person he was, and so what a great loss it is to us all.
I hope I can remember his teachings.

[Bruce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting book. It covers a lot of ground and has a lot of personal insights and experience. His death is a great loss. His long tail was a bit short

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absolute gift of a book! Latta passed away in September and "Lessons on Living" is a toolkit- just 3 principles, for coping with life's ups and downs. Delivered in his usual style - with humour, pathos and lots of anecdotes, Latta has not just given us the tools to deal with hard things, he has explained the principles in such a way as to make it easy for us to remember them. In "Lessons" he has also taken us on his journey through cancer and left us with the most beautiful gift at the end - the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. Recommended.

[Heather Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved Nigel’s book as I’ve been a long loved fan of Nigel and his work. An easy read and at times I felt like I was in the room just chatting to Nigel. It’s thought provoking around life and love. At times a little raw on his journey but perfectly positioned to capture the real magic of his reflections and learnings. I bought this as an ebook but going to get the hard cover so I can pick it up and down. His lessons of living will stick with me.

[Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As he says at the beginning there's no new thinking in his book, instead it's a lovely way of putting some big life and living concepts into a readable format using the backdrop of his life experiences. A very helpful book.

[Ruth Reid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a brave and inspirational man to even contemplate writing a book with the idea of helping others when he was facing his own mortality. You will be missed as will your knowledge and intelligence in the parenting forum

[Sandy Hastings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bought today and read in one sitting...such an easy, witty and 'from-the-heart' read. Ive heard Nigel speak several times, the most recently being in 2025 after his lung cancer diagnosis, and his pragmatic, no nonsense voice and approach rang through this book. Will dip into this again and again.

[Amanda Van · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the end ... there is only love.
This book is a journey you will enjoy. It will make you laugh, cry and ponder about the important things in life. I don't particularly like swearing but he is very intelligent with it.

[Samantha Eyres · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read this book

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of wisdom and a solid dose of perspective. A great read.

[Jenny Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful read. So full of love and hope. I felt like I was having a coffee while listening to an old friend share their wisdom. Gentle and inspiring. fantastic.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic. Such a humbling read, especially by someone who was writing in his last years of his life.

[Parvati Rotherham · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautiful book. simple advice from a insightful, relatable man taken too soon

[Shona · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could hear his voice when reading this book. Good lessons from a good guy.

[Cari Smith in Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful, interesting & full of humour ❤️

[Anne Matheson · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's hard to read (and review) a book that revolves around the author's cancer diagnosis when you know he died the day it was published.

[Jose Reyden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend everybody reads this book. So many helpful tips. Best book I have read all year.

[Danielle Crooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a treasure you were Nigel, such a great storyteller. I saw you speak years ago and absolutely loved you. Loved your book even more. Will buy a copy so I can read it again. Rest in love🤍

[Caity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my heart. I had both teary eyes and big smiles reading this. Classic down to earth Nigel with some lovely nuggets of wisdom at a time I needed them most.