i know Meatbun was rushed into publishing this novel, and while i see where and what could be improved upon having more time, i'm greatful it has seen the light of day as it is.
i really wish there had been more fluffy extras of Mo Xi and Gu Mang. their story feels so rich that a few additional lighthearted moments would have been wonderful to see. meatbun mentions in her afterword that she rarely talks about yuwu because she personally doesn’t think it’s a good book and i can’t help but think that her own critical view of the novel is the reason we didn’t get more extras exploring the softer, happier sides of Mo Xi and Gu Mang’s relationship. it feels like such a loss, since the world and characters still hold so much potential for warmth and tenderness beyond the main narrative.
there were way too many twists that didn’t really need to be there or could’ve been handled differently. take Murong Mengze suddenly being a man. that reveal felt pointless on my first read and i stand by it on the second. i really liked the idea of Chonghua having an empress, it gave this sense of growth and progress, and replacing that with a random twist just felt like the story tripped over itself for no reason.
when it comes to romance, Meatbun is a visionary. she has this uncanny ability to give a fresh, almost bizarre perspective on love. the unusualness of the romance between Mo Xi and Gu Mang is that Meatbun takes an initially conventionally failed love story and rethinks it as if she looks at everything that happens between the characters from a third side and ponders if all these events really make their love story a failure. the events between Mo Xi and Gu Mang are quite literally everything a typical romantic relationship shouldn’t be. but that’s exactly the point. Mo Xi couldn’t be with Gu Man when he was at his lowest. but still, he clung to the hope that Gu Mang would somehow rise above his suffering by himself. in the meantime, he railed against him, condemning him for the betrayal, not just of his country, but of their love and even of himself.
Gu Mang is afraid of taking on responsibility and commitment, and continues to push Mo Xi away because he is sure that their relationship is doomed and has no future due to their unequal social standing. he is afraid of the emotional devastation and loss that would happen if Mo Xi were to get hurt or leave him. and still, he fears that Mo Xi will one day come to realize that he’s ruined his life by loving someone like Gu Mang, someone beneath him, someone whose future is as uncertain as their relationship.
Mo Xi and Gu Mang have fully seen each other, at their worst and at their best. both are somewhat dismissive and full of fears. many of their actions are wrong, but despite all this, they remain in love with each other. neither of them wanted or ever sought to hurt the other. in fact, their actions, though often clumsy and imperfect, were rooted in care and compassion, they just didn’t always know how to show it, and i think this is a very interesting and contrasting commentary on the fact that love can be not only sublime and immortal, but also imperfect in its manifestations.
this is the kind of love that binds Gu Mang and Mo Xi. their actions are not perfect, they are awkward, and the consequences of their decisions are tragic. but this does not mean that these consequences discredit their feelings or deny them. on the contrary, it is love that helps them fix everything they have destroyed and repair what has been broken. and i think this is where the deepest romance lies: that love can heal even what was broken by love itself