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Bad Animals: A Father's Accidental Education in Autism
Joel Yanofsky tried for years to start this memoir. ""It's not just going to be about autism,"" he told his wife, Cynthia. ""It's going to be about parenthood and marriage, about hope and despair, and storytelling, too."" ""Marriage?"" Cynthia said. ""What about marriage?""A veteran book reviewer, Yanofsky has spent a lifetime immersed in literature (not to mention old movies and old jokes), which he calls shtick. This account of a year in the life of a family describes a father's struggle to enter his son's world, the world of autism, using the materials he knows best: self-help books, feel-good memoirs, literary classics from the Bible to Dr. Seuss, old movies, and, yes, shtick. Funny, wrenching, and unfailingly candid, Bad Animals is both an exploration of a baffling condition and a quirky love story told by a gifted writer.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 29, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
May 6, 2020
Read the subtitle --- this is about a father's journey with autism, not in any way telling other parents what to do.
He's a book critic, and part of his education is reading and discussing his reactions to others' writings. Not surprisingly, I enjoyed hearing those.
Most of all, I appreciate his honesty and frustration.
It's been a long time since my autistic daughter was a child, but here are a couple thoughts he shares that I remember being very true:
Well-meant suggestions quickly start to feel like criticisms.
Every decision seems like the wrong one.
He and his wife say that this isn't the kind of book that is useful to anyone, but as a parent of an autistic child, it IS helpful to be reminded that other parents are bewildered, worried, frustrated, making lots of mistakes. It's useful to remember that our heightened emotions and expectations block our ability to function.
He's a book critic, and part of his education is reading and discussing his reactions to others' writings. Not surprisingly, I enjoyed hearing those.
Most of all, I appreciate his honesty and frustration.
It's been a long time since my autistic daughter was a child, but here are a couple thoughts he shares that I remember being very true:
Well-meant suggestions quickly start to feel like criticisms.
Every decision seems like the wrong one.
He and his wife say that this isn't the kind of book that is useful to anyone, but as a parent of an autistic child, it IS helpful to be reminded that other parents are bewildered, worried, frustrated, making lots of mistakes. It's useful to remember that our heightened emotions and expectations block our ability to function.
December 4, 2012
Hmmmm...well the title says it well...it was all about this father's accidental education in autism. His story and no one else's. Honest, VERY funny, heartwrenching, sad, and yet hopeful! Joel Yanofsky is one of my favourite book reviewers and I have always been a huge fan of his writing and his humour. It was interesting to read a book this honest about his life, family, character flaws etc. I'm sure that if one had children they would be able to relate much more than I did and for families with children with autism it would definitely be worth reading.
January 11, 2013
His only child is 11 now. The author was 42 when he was born. He is in his early 50's now. He is a book reviewer by profession. He has "worked" on this memoir for years now. He is a reluctant and crabby human being...he is wonderful. He loves his son with awe. He is driven crazy by his son.
This is a story of the dad who watches with amazement and marvel and astonishment, the tireless energy of his wife working to obtain help and services for their son. He views this as a superhuman task. He is along for the ride. He is unpretentious. He is self-deprecating. He is interesting. This is an informative book. This is an important book.
One more offering by an often powerless, exhausted, hiding parent which will prove to be an insistent wake-up call to ALL of us about these infuriating often infuriated, fascinating, frustrating, mysterious, magical, heartbreaking, beautiful, and all the stuff the rest of us are too, children (and subsequent adults) who will increasingly be a visible part of our world.
This is a story of the dad who watches with amazement and marvel and astonishment, the tireless energy of his wife working to obtain help and services for their son. He views this as a superhuman task. He is along for the ride. He is unpretentious. He is self-deprecating. He is interesting. This is an informative book. This is an important book.
One more offering by an often powerless, exhausted, hiding parent which will prove to be an insistent wake-up call to ALL of us about these infuriating often infuriated, fascinating, frustrating, mysterious, magical, heartbreaking, beautiful, and all the stuff the rest of us are too, children (and subsequent adults) who will increasingly be a visible part of our world.
May 19, 2012
Joel Yanofsky's memoir is the most honest, blunt, angry, loving, deservedly-whiny and did I say honest memoir of a journey to embracing parenthood that I have ever read. Also, among the best. Yep, it's about parenting a child with autism, but that's not all it's about. He's the Anne Lamott of parenting the tough kids, and in him, I saw my own response to some of the bigger challenges my kids have thrown at me, in particular one daughter with some social issues, which is to say: "Hey, why are you doing this to ME?"
It's only when we figure out that they're not that we learn to really parent, and it takes Joel a satisfyingly long time to get there.
It's only when we figure out that they're not that we learn to really parent, and it takes Joel a satisfyingly long time to get there.
February 20, 2020
If you have any interest at all in the topic, or know of someone who has dealt or is dealing with this problem, read this book. A friend of mine with a son "on the spectrum" as they say, has read it three times and loves it.
The author goes into depth about some of the literature around the syndrome. He also writes a good deal about making a living as a freelancer in Montreal, which I appreciated. Very honest writing, and he's not afraid to be self-critical.
If I had any complaints, I'd say I wish there was a glossary in back to explain some of the medical terms. The author does gloss them, but I'm not good at remembering all those initials.
The author goes into depth about some of the literature around the syndrome. He also writes a good deal about making a living as a freelancer in Montreal, which I appreciated. Very honest writing, and he's not afraid to be self-critical.
If I had any complaints, I'd say I wish there was a glossary in back to explain some of the medical terms. The author does gloss them, but I'm not good at remembering all those initials.
February 22, 2025
This guy is so self-centred and the first half of the book is all about him and what a lousy father and husband he is. I would agree. I'd had enough of his complaining about how hard life was for him and how unsupportive of his wife and son he was. I abandoned the book half way through so maybe things got better after that? I don't know.
January 24, 2021
This is a very good book. Truly honest and real full of humour, heartache and charm.
Worth reading for anyone wanting a better understanding of autism, but also relationships, parenting and just life.
Worth reading for anyone wanting a better understanding of autism, but also relationships, parenting and just life.
December 11, 2011
I enjoyed this book written by the father of a son diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.
Joel is honest about his love, his angst, his sense of being in over his head in dealing with the demands of being the parent of a special needs child. He whines, sure, but he owns his whining.
In the book he is writing with his son he names the father character Worst-Daddy-Ever. But he is not the worst daddy ever, he is just a human being dealing with a tough situation and seeking an outlet for his worries and frustrations. In a moving moment his son rebels against the Worst-Daddy-Ever name, showing a very deep love for his father in his own way.
We've made some progress understanding and dealing with the autism spectrum in the last few decades, although really it hasn't provided much in terms of answers or solutions. Joel's book reflects that well, since he is a book reviewer by trade, and takes the time to let us know how he feels about the very well-known auto/biographies about autism that have been written in the last 40 years or so.
Joel himself admits that if you are looking for encouragement and a path to succeeding as a parent of a special needs child this is not the book. He's not touchy-feely, nor overjoyed by the "gift of being choosen". He's sad, angry, and worried. He mourns what they lost when the diagnosis was rendered; but he loves his son very much.
You'll love his son after reading this book as well. Because really, that's what this book is about. The love of a father for his son, no matter what challenges they'll have to face.
I'm not sure even Joel knew that's what he was writing at the time. And that's what makes it so authentic.
Joel is honest about his love, his angst, his sense of being in over his head in dealing with the demands of being the parent of a special needs child. He whines, sure, but he owns his whining.
In the book he is writing with his son he names the father character Worst-Daddy-Ever. But he is not the worst daddy ever, he is just a human being dealing with a tough situation and seeking an outlet for his worries and frustrations. In a moving moment his son rebels against the Worst-Daddy-Ever name, showing a very deep love for his father in his own way.
We've made some progress understanding and dealing with the autism spectrum in the last few decades, although really it hasn't provided much in terms of answers or solutions. Joel's book reflects that well, since he is a book reviewer by trade, and takes the time to let us know how he feels about the very well-known auto/biographies about autism that have been written in the last 40 years or so.
Joel himself admits that if you are looking for encouragement and a path to succeeding as a parent of a special needs child this is not the book. He's not touchy-feely, nor overjoyed by the "gift of being choosen". He's sad, angry, and worried. He mourns what they lost when the diagnosis was rendered; but he loves his son very much.
You'll love his son after reading this book as well. Because really, that's what this book is about. The love of a father for his son, no matter what challenges they'll have to face.
I'm not sure even Joel knew that's what he was writing at the time. And that's what makes it so authentic.
September 22, 2015
Unfortunately this book was only okay. Maybe I've just read better books related to autism but it didn't seem to focus on Joel and Jonah's relationship enough. The author, Joel, focused more on his struggles to write a novel about autism and his reviews and interviews of other people who wrote books on the subject. While it gave me titles of other books for my to-read list, it didn't keep me engaged in their actual story. Near the end when Cynthia gets to have a say in a chapter, we finally see some stories and a softer side of Joel. I did enjoy the parts that talked about Jonah but there just wasn't enough for me.
November 3, 2012
What a breath of fresh air. Rather than being subjected to a sickly sweet and overly optimistic account of a hipster and his autistic (or otherwise "different") child, I was pleased to read this tale of frustration, pain, and surprise about a writer, his wife, and their preteen Jonah as they navigate late elementary school. Sure, there's hope, but there's a healthy dose of skepticism and even cynicism, a nice alternative to some of the other literature on the subject.
May 8, 2015
Joel Yanofsky's Bad Animals is an honest and heartfelt book about raising a child with autism. Not a self-help book, this has a more literary feel. A great read for anyone who knows someone raising a child with autism, and for the experts who really need to understand what the parents on the other side of the child are facing.
June 24, 2016
Joel Yanofsky's book has some great insight on how it feels to be the parent of a son with autism. In this book he shares his confusion, frustration, anxiety and celebrations. He states that "autism can be defined by the ways in which your child separates himself from everyday interactions." This book has a lot of great insight, although at time it was a slow read.
December 3, 2012
I found "Bad Animals" to be realistic to the emotions I have felt as the father of a child with autism. While not inspiring in the 'false hope' sense, it allowed me to reflect on the bigger picture and remember why I need to stay strong.
September 12, 2014
(Audiobook)An interesting memoir about parents of a son with Autism. The author is good at whining and a lot of self pity. He is amusing at times and does shed some light on what it's like to have a son with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
June 29, 2012
I found this book to be an extremely interesting and engaging read. Yanofsky is brutally candid as he describes the challenges of parenting a son with autism. A must read.
May 21, 2013
Real.
February 22, 2013
His job of parenting was a little more challenging than most, but he seems to have kept his sense of humor.
February 19, 2016
This is the best book about how it really is to have a child with autism.
June 1, 2013
Oddly, this wasn't a particularly insightful book.
January 16, 2015
The honest reflection was refreshing, but I had trouble staying engaged.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews