Orosius / anonymous Old English translator: anyone who has complained about anything ever from the birth of christ onwards is ungrateful and wrong, go sit in the corner to think about what you've done & personally apologize to jesus
more specifically: romans stop whining about your city getting sacked (in 410) it was like the mildest sacking ever
"Æfter þam þe Romeburh getimbred wæs IIII hund wintrum and LXII, þa þa Dolabella and Domitius wæron consulas on Rome, þa Lucani and Bruti and Somnite and Gallie of Senno angunnon wið Romanum winnan. Đa sendon Romane ærendracan to Gallium ymbe frið, þa ofslogon hy þa ærendracan. þa sendon hy eft Cecilium heora pretorium mid firde þær Gallie and Bryti ætgædere wæron, and he þær wearð ofslagan and þæt folc mid him, þæt wæs CVII M. Swa oft Galli wið Romanum wunnon swa wurdon Romana gecnysede. Forþon ge Romane, cwæð Orosius, þonne ge ymb þæt an gefeoht ealneg ceoriað þe eow Gotan gedydon, hwy nellað ge geþencan þa monegan ærran þe eow Gallie oftrædlice bismerlice þurhtugon?
Ic sceal eac gemyndgian be sumum dæle þæs þe Alexandres æfterfylgendas dydon on þam tidum þe þis gewearð on Romebyrig, hu hy hi sylfe mid missenlican gefeohtum fordydon. Hit is, cwæð he, þam gelicost, þonne ic his geþencean sceal, þe ic sitte anre heahre dune and geseo þonne on smeþum felda fela fyra byrnan. Swa ofer eall Mæcedonia rice, þæt is ofer ealle þa maran Asiam, and ofer Europe þone mæstan dæl, and ealle Libium, þæt hit na nes buton hete and gewinnum. þa þe under Alexandre fyrmest wæran, þær þær hy æfter him rixedan, hy ðæt mid gewinnum awestan, and þær þær hy næran hy gedydan þone mæstan ege, swylce se biteresta smic upp astige, and þonne wide tofare.
Alexander XII gear þisne middangeard under him þrysmde and egsade, and his æfterfolgeras XIIII gear hit siþþan totugon and totæran gelicost þam þonne seo leo bringð his hungregum hwelpum hwæt to etanne: hy þonne gecyþað on þam æte hwylc heora mæst mæg gehrifnian. Swa þonne dyde Pholomeus, Alexandres þegna an, þa he togædere gesweop ealle Egyptum and Arabia...."