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Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage
It was a great love story, one for the ages. The speed of our beginning and the speed of our ending felt like matching bookends. They both came out of nowhere. He wanted it, he wanted me. And then he didn’t.
In March 2020, Belle Burden was safe and secure with her family at their house on Martha’s Vineyard, navigating the early days of the pandemic together—building fires in the late afternoons, drinking whisky sours, making roast chicken. Then, with no warning or explanation, her husband of twenty years announced that he was leaving her. Overnight, her caring, steady partner became a man she hardly recognized. He exited his life with her like an actor shrugging off a costume.
In Strangers, Burden revisits her marriage, searching for clues that her husband was not who she always thought he was. As she examines her relationship through a new lens, she reckons with her own family history and the lessons she intuited about how a woman is expected to behave in the face of betrayal. Through all of it, she is transformed. The discreet, compliant woman she once was—someone nicknamed “Belle the Good”—gives way to someone braver, someone determined to use her voice.
With unflinching honesty and profound grace, Burden charts a path through heartbreak to show the power of a woman who refuses to give up on love. Strangers is a stunning, deeply moving, compulsively readable memoir heralding the arrival of a thrilling new literary talent.
In March 2020, Belle Burden was safe and secure with her family at their house on Martha’s Vineyard, navigating the early days of the pandemic together—building fires in the late afternoons, drinking whisky sours, making roast chicken. Then, with no warning or explanation, her husband of twenty years announced that he was leaving her. Overnight, her caring, steady partner became a man she hardly recognized. He exited his life with her like an actor shrugging off a costume.
In Strangers, Burden revisits her marriage, searching for clues that her husband was not who she always thought he was. As she examines her relationship through a new lens, she reckons with her own family history and the lessons she intuited about how a woman is expected to behave in the face of betrayal. Through all of it, she is transformed. The discreet, compliant woman she once was—someone nicknamed “Belle the Good”—gives way to someone braver, someone determined to use her voice.
With unflinching honesty and profound grace, Burden charts a path through heartbreak to show the power of a woman who refuses to give up on love. Strangers is a stunning, deeply moving, compulsively readable memoir heralding the arrival of a thrilling new literary talent.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 13, 2026
1705 people are currently reading
31549 people want to read
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December 21, 2025
A couple of years ago, a friend of mine forwarded me an Essay in the New York Times Modern Love Series written by Belle Burden titled Was I Married to a Stranger. This friend raved for months about how affirming and connected to Belle she felt, since she had gone through a similar experience with her former husband. I too loved the article so, of course, I wanted to learn more about Belle’s story when I found out this memoir was being released.
Told with grace and vulnerability, Belle explains how blindsided she felt as her husband cruelly uprooted not only their life after two decades together but also their children’s. Belle describes how she navigated motherhood and other responsibilities while dealing with such devastating heartbreak.
Belle is such a talented author, and I found her debut to be very engrossing. I really enjoyed learning how Belle prioritized her children's emotional well-being during such a tumultuous time. I loved learning how Belle reclaimed her life and identity after the divorce. It also really surprised me to learn that some people in Belle’s circle reacted negatively and critically after her Essay in The Times was published.
I found Strangers to be an inspiring, poignant, and captivating memoir and I would highly recommend it. I listened to the audiobook version which is narrated by the author herself! If you decide to pick this one, I highly recommend this format.
Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden will be available on January 13. Many thanks to Penguin Random House Audio for the gifted audiobook!
Told with grace and vulnerability, Belle explains how blindsided she felt as her husband cruelly uprooted not only their life after two decades together but also their children’s. Belle describes how she navigated motherhood and other responsibilities while dealing with such devastating heartbreak.
Belle is such a talented author, and I found her debut to be very engrossing. I really enjoyed learning how Belle prioritized her children's emotional well-being during such a tumultuous time. I loved learning how Belle reclaimed her life and identity after the divorce. It also really surprised me to learn that some people in Belle’s circle reacted negatively and critically after her Essay in The Times was published.
I found Strangers to be an inspiring, poignant, and captivating memoir and I would highly recommend it. I listened to the audiobook version which is narrated by the author herself! If you decide to pick this one, I highly recommend this format.
Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden will be available on January 13. Many thanks to Penguin Random House Audio for the gifted audiobook!
January 26, 2026
Full reflection on this book now available for free on my Substack. Book Reflection: Strangers by Belle Burden.
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A book that came to me when I needed it most. The parallels between this and my life over the last 6 weeks are uncanny -- in both cases, a man named James walked out of a partnership with no forewarning, explanation, or rationale. So many of these words felt like they were lifted from my own brain. In both cases, Belle Burden and I turned to writing to make sense of the unthinkable (you can read my essay here: My Three Year Relationship Ended with a Text Message).
I think I'll do a dedicated Substack post about this. I'm not sure how to objectively rate it, given how resonant it was with me, but few books have impacted me quite like this.
Substack | Bookstagram | BookTok | BookTube | Bookshop.org Store | Libro.fm Bonus Offer
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A book that came to me when I needed it most. The parallels between this and my life over the last 6 weeks are uncanny -- in both cases, a man named James walked out of a partnership with no forewarning, explanation, or rationale. So many of these words felt like they were lifted from my own brain. In both cases, Belle Burden and I turned to writing to make sense of the unthinkable (you can read my essay here: My Three Year Relationship Ended with a Text Message).
I think I'll do a dedicated Substack post about this. I'm not sure how to objectively rate it, given how resonant it was with me, but few books have impacted me quite like this.
Substack | Bookstagram | BookTok | BookTube | Bookshop.org Store | Libro.fm Bonus Offer
November 8, 2025
This is a brilliant but, quite frankly, jaw-dropping account of the implosion of Belle Burden's marriage. It took my breath away.
Belle and her husband James had been married for 20 years. Three children, a big daft dog, a summer home and an apartment in the city seemed to signify to Belle that her life was all it could be. But at the start of the pandemic a phone call from another woman's husband explodes everything she believed about her marriage and the man she loved.
The writing in this memoir is superb. Part of me wanted to devour it in one sitting but I forced myself to slow down to take in every part of this marriage's sudden disintegration.
I'll be honest, I was absolutely horrified at the sheer callousness of James. Not only in his actions as he ended the marriage but his coldness towards his wife and children as Belle tries to come to terms with his abandonment (and I don't use that word lightly).
What Belle Burden has written is a touching and honest account of what it is like to find out that the person you think you've known for decades is, in fact, a stranger. It should also serve as a cautionary tale to anyone in any kind of partnership who doesn't keep a weather eye on the finances. As for love - noone can predict what may happen but make sure you read the bank statements.
An excellent memoir. It must have been painful to write. It was certainly hard to read but I would highly recommend it to anyone. I sincerely hope Ms Burden writes more books.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Ebury Publishing, Penguin Random House.
Belle and her husband James had been married for 20 years. Three children, a big daft dog, a summer home and an apartment in the city seemed to signify to Belle that her life was all it could be. But at the start of the pandemic a phone call from another woman's husband explodes everything she believed about her marriage and the man she loved.
The writing in this memoir is superb. Part of me wanted to devour it in one sitting but I forced myself to slow down to take in every part of this marriage's sudden disintegration.
I'll be honest, I was absolutely horrified at the sheer callousness of James. Not only in his actions as he ended the marriage but his coldness towards his wife and children as Belle tries to come to terms with his abandonment (and I don't use that word lightly).
What Belle Burden has written is a touching and honest account of what it is like to find out that the person you think you've known for decades is, in fact, a stranger. It should also serve as a cautionary tale to anyone in any kind of partnership who doesn't keep a weather eye on the finances. As for love - noone can predict what may happen but make sure you read the bank statements.
An excellent memoir. It must have been painful to write. It was certainly hard to read but I would highly recommend it to anyone. I sincerely hope Ms Burden writes more books.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Ebury Publishing, Penguin Random House.
January 9, 2026
3.75⭐️ rounded up — an emotional memoir about a 20 year marriage that ends abruptly. I thought it was beautifully told with just the right amount of detail and insight.
thank you PRH Audio for the ALC
thank you PRH Audio for the ALC
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January 17, 2026Are men/people okay?! This was totally engrossing, in part because of the pleasurable voyeurism of peering into the lives of the super-rich, but mostly because of Belle Burden’s total vulnerability and self-disclosure about the sudden implosion of her 20-year marriage. How much do any of us know other people—and perhaps more, importantly, ourselves? It’s a troubling question, and one that is perhaps easy to push under the rug when you find yourself in a seemingly stable relationship or family situation. But Strangers is an account of what happens when you are forced to look directly at the difference and otherness of the people closest to you. That Belle Burden is able to emerge from this ordeal with some level of compassion for and curiosity about her ex-husband is a feat and a testament to her character—but maybe it’s also a product of the clarity and the neat containment that writing can give to even the most harrowing episodes.
August 27, 2025
received an advanced copy of this book and couldn’t put it down! finished it in a day and can’t wait for the world to read this beautiful and heartbreaking memoir
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Pre-Read Notes:
I'm a memoir fan, and the Joyce Carol Oates blurb sold me.
"It was three months after our first kiss. I felt it all: love, lust, joy, and a letting go of the anxiety, the gripping I’d felt since my father was found dead in his bed. James was here. He had arrived exactly when I needed him. It was the romance my favorite books, my favorite movies, and my family had told me to want and expect— he had swept me off my feet, quickly and completely. And, as he told me often, he was going to take care of me. The fatherless girl had found her knight." p45
Final Review
(thoughts & recs) Honestly, I don't think I was the right audience for this. I don't doubt for a second that this author was miserable during her divorce, but she didn't communicate her emotions well. It's reads more like a play-by-play than a memoir of being turned inside out by relational rupture.
She makes a half-hearted effort to acknowledge her vast privilege at the beginning of the book. But this signal was overwritten by later material with mismatching tone, such as name-dropping.
For fans of memoir and books about marriage and divorce.
My Favorite Things:
✔️ This author talks about her experiences with Covid, during which she enjoyed dramatic privilege. She at least acknowledges it, but it's a bit difficult to relate. *edit Well that was short lived because there are some experiences that are universal despite privelege. Like losing trust in someone you love. I'm sort of hooked now.
✔️ I like the sections on the author's father. Her love and respect for him are palpable. At the same time, I think the story here is pretty quotidian and it might only be because of her father that this book was ever picked up for publication.
✔️ "...I was too shy, too lacking in confidence. I needed men to pursue me, to be serious and certain . And when the relationship had run its course, I was always too afraid to break it off. The prospect of hurting someone’s feelings paralyzed me. I had been in love with my college boyfriends but never with this one. He had somehow ended up there, in my life, on my couch, and I didn’t know how to get myself out of it." p40 I know this feeling, of being too passive to advocate for my best interests. Certain members of the population are socialized to disappear into their space-making for others who are more valued by society.
✔️ "Osprey couples mate within days of meeting, producing two to four eggs. The female “broods” the eggs, warming them, caring for them. The male continues to gather material for the nest, delivering it back to the female. He hunts to sustain them, always fresh fish— trout, bluefish, menhaden." p74 I really enjoy how Burden works the story of the ospreys into the story of her marriage. It's interesting and an effective metaphor.
Content Notes: divorce, marital strife, cheating, pandemic, Covid, shut down, financial struggle, professional misfit, crisis of conscience, loss of a parent, financial abuse, wild animals,
Thank you to Belle Burden, The Dial Press, and NetGalley for an accessible digital arc of STRANGERS. All views are mine.
I'm a memoir fan, and the Joyce Carol Oates blurb sold me.
"It was three months after our first kiss. I felt it all: love, lust, joy, and a letting go of the anxiety, the gripping I’d felt since my father was found dead in his bed. James was here. He had arrived exactly when I needed him. It was the romance my favorite books, my favorite movies, and my family had told me to want and expect— he had swept me off my feet, quickly and completely. And, as he told me often, he was going to take care of me. The fatherless girl had found her knight." p45
Final Review
(thoughts & recs) Honestly, I don't think I was the right audience for this. I don't doubt for a second that this author was miserable during her divorce, but she didn't communicate her emotions well. It's reads more like a play-by-play than a memoir of being turned inside out by relational rupture.
She makes a half-hearted effort to acknowledge her vast privilege at the beginning of the book. But this signal was overwritten by later material with mismatching tone, such as name-dropping.
For fans of memoir and books about marriage and divorce.
My Favorite Things:
✔️ This author talks about her experiences with Covid, during which she enjoyed dramatic privilege. She at least acknowledges it, but it's a bit difficult to relate. *edit Well that was short lived because there are some experiences that are universal despite privelege. Like losing trust in someone you love. I'm sort of hooked now.
✔️ I like the sections on the author's father. Her love and respect for him are palpable. At the same time, I think the story here is pretty quotidian and it might only be because of her father that this book was ever picked up for publication.
✔️ "...I was too shy, too lacking in confidence. I needed men to pursue me, to be serious and certain . And when the relationship had run its course, I was always too afraid to break it off. The prospect of hurting someone’s feelings paralyzed me. I had been in love with my college boyfriends but never with this one. He had somehow ended up there, in my life, on my couch, and I didn’t know how to get myself out of it." p40 I know this feeling, of being too passive to advocate for my best interests. Certain members of the population are socialized to disappear into their space-making for others who are more valued by society.
✔️ "Osprey couples mate within days of meeting, producing two to four eggs. The female “broods” the eggs, warming them, caring for them. The male continues to gather material for the nest, delivering it back to the female. He hunts to sustain them, always fresh fish— trout, bluefish, menhaden." p74 I really enjoy how Burden works the story of the ospreys into the story of her marriage. It's interesting and an effective metaphor.
Content Notes: divorce, marital strife, cheating, pandemic, Covid, shut down, financial struggle, professional misfit, crisis of conscience, loss of a parent, financial abuse, wild animals,
Thank you to Belle Burden, The Dial Press, and NetGalley for an accessible digital arc of STRANGERS. All views are mine.
January 14, 2026
Heartbreaking and, painfully but truly, heart rebuilding.
I had read the “Modern Love” essay that Ms. Burden wrote, and looked forward to this memoir. It arrived on my Kindle at midnight, January 13. I began reading it early the 14th (today), and just finished it. If “James” were here in our family room, I would be tempted to slap him across the face. And not just once. Reading his insistence on changing the pre-nup right before the wedding 21 years earlier, to favor him financially in the event of divorce, I thought, UH-OH. And my fears were confirmed. I do fervently hope that the money Belle Burden makes from this book is in the many millions. She deserves it, and more. She chose her family over a slick, evil adulterer. I also ordered this book for my BFF, who is a retired therapist. I said, “I need a diagnosis of the man in this book.” So a copy is winging its way to her. But to Belle Burden, I say, “Please hang in there. Sorry to say, the pain will last for years. But the love of your children will fill your heart, over and over, as will the love from your extended family and the immigrants you help.” Please keep writing. As the author of 16 published novels, I have learned that there are many “Gregs” in this world. They are out there, and they are unfailingly cruel. Please ignore them, and know that you have many fans who will stick with you. I am one. —Diane Mott Davidson
I had read the “Modern Love” essay that Ms. Burden wrote, and looked forward to this memoir. It arrived on my Kindle at midnight, January 13. I began reading it early the 14th (today), and just finished it. If “James” were here in our family room, I would be tempted to slap him across the face. And not just once. Reading his insistence on changing the pre-nup right before the wedding 21 years earlier, to favor him financially in the event of divorce, I thought, UH-OH. And my fears were confirmed. I do fervently hope that the money Belle Burden makes from this book is in the many millions. She deserves it, and more. She chose her family over a slick, evil adulterer. I also ordered this book for my BFF, who is a retired therapist. I said, “I need a diagnosis of the man in this book.” So a copy is winging its way to her. But to Belle Burden, I say, “Please hang in there. Sorry to say, the pain will last for years. But the love of your children will fill your heart, over and over, as will the love from your extended family and the immigrants you help.” Please keep writing. As the author of 16 published novels, I have learned that there are many “Gregs” in this world. They are out there, and they are unfailingly cruel. Please ignore them, and know that you have many fans who will stick with you. I am one. —Diane Mott Davidson
January 25, 2026
i tore through this within a day, while running after my toddler. it far exceeded my expectations. Burden’s writing is vulnerable and gut-wrenching, and more poetic than i expected. i liked the beautiful descriptions of the ospreys, which felt apt without beating readers over the head with metaphor.
i appreciate that she doesn’t hide her obvious privilege and checks herself quite a few times, in an authentic way. (as an aside, i happened to learn a lot about the wealthy and old moneyed circles, and cant say i envy the women in them.) i don’t normally read memoir - ironic, i know! - but was compelled by this one and im so glad i was.
putting this book out was an act of courage and self-reclamation; i am inspired by so much of it, even in light of Burden’s enormous privileges. i hope she continues to write while balancing her much-needed pro bono immigration practice.
i appreciate that she doesn’t hide her obvious privilege and checks herself quite a few times, in an authentic way. (as an aside, i happened to learn a lot about the wealthy and old moneyed circles, and cant say i envy the women in them.) i don’t normally read memoir - ironic, i know! - but was compelled by this one and im so glad i was.
putting this book out was an act of courage and self-reclamation; i am inspired by so much of it, even in light of Burden’s enormous privileges. i hope she continues to write while balancing her much-needed pro bono immigration practice.
January 22, 2026
I didn't expect to love this. A memoir of divorce really doesn't sound like my thing. I also did not expect to feel real affinity with Burden's ex-husband (I say this in full acknowledgement that he is a person who did terrible things -- but is not only that). I left my spouse after what I saw as years of unhappiness and increasing distance, and what he saw as contentment -- I did not share how I was feeling, I left signs and expected him to read them, and it took me years to realize he had not and did not wish to. That is on me. My spouse begged me to try and heal things, but by the time I left I was done, broken, and there was no going back. (Unlike Burden's husband, I left everything with my spouse; I took nothing, left broke, I just wanted to be free.) A quarter century later this book taught me something about myself and my behavior in intimate relationships. Burden goes deep and presents things well. She must have been a really good lawyer.
Burden deconstructs her marriage after her husband leaves her with no warning, and in doing so she deconstructs marriage. The takeaway here is that communication matters, that in sparing others we are only avoiding conflict, eliminating the possibility of resolution and release, and putting both ourselves and our partners at risk of the whole exploding. This is beautifully crafted, searingly honest, and wholly relatable (at least for me.)
Burden deconstructs her marriage after her husband leaves her with no warning, and in doing so she deconstructs marriage. The takeaway here is that communication matters, that in sparing others we are only avoiding conflict, eliminating the possibility of resolution and release, and putting both ourselves and our partners at risk of the whole exploding. This is beautifully crafted, searingly honest, and wholly relatable (at least for me.)
June 28, 2025
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. Absolutely loved this memoir and could not stop myself from consuming it in one sitting. It almost reads like a beautifully poetic literary fiction, so much so that I had to remind myself it actually is a memoir. This takes you from the day of the discovery through the dissolution of a marriage and what comes after. It is written so beautifully in a way that sets it apart from other memoirs. I felt like I actually walked this journey with the author the entire time. With vivid descriptions of her emotions in the aftermath of what happened, I was in my feels. There’s no wild salacious drama in this memoir which is what it makes it so relatable for so many of us.
January 18, 2026
i can't even begin to describe the nine levels of hell that this book put me through. strangers by belle burden tells the, quite frankly, harrowing tale of how burden's marriage of twenty years—you read that right, twenty goddamn years!!!—dissolved in the blink of an eye. it's propulsive, beautifully written, and it doesn't shy away from the difficulties that burden faced after her husband walked out of her life.
as a devout misandrist, i am no stranger to hearing about and/or witnessing firsthand the broad spectrum of men's bad behaviour. but there was something especially cruel about the way that burden's ex-husband abandoned her and their family. reading this memoir filled me with so much rage, i had to quash the urge to throw my kindle across the room. belle is so much better than me, because if i was the one dealing with all that heartbreak and betrayal, you hoes would've seen me on the national news.
i have two things to say. one: i do firmly believe that we should wipe all men from the face of the planet. and two: i am so fucking glad that belle didn't let shame and grief keep her trapped in the generational cycle of silence that so many women fall victim to. as women, we are always expected to understand and forgive men, to be quiet and graceful, to let bad behaviour slide instead of calling it out. there's this pesky notion that claims if your partner cheats on you, it must be because of something that you did. maybe you weren't pretty enough, or smart enough, so he had to go find these qualities in someone else. maybe if you had done something differently, you would've been able to keep your man loyal.
what a load of horseshit. 🥱
it was so refreshing to see belle refuse to subscribe to this assumption; even though i don't know her personally, by the end of this book, i felt so proud of her. i hope that her decision to share her story resonates with anyone else who has gone through a similar type of heartbreak. being discarded in such a callous way is always a devastating experience, but i think this memoir serves as proof that you can come out the other side stronger, surer, and even better than you were before.
as a devout misandrist, i am no stranger to hearing about and/or witnessing firsthand the broad spectrum of men's bad behaviour. but there was something especially cruel about the way that burden's ex-husband abandoned her and their family. reading this memoir filled me with so much rage, i had to quash the urge to throw my kindle across the room. belle is so much better than me, because if i was the one dealing with all that heartbreak and betrayal, you hoes would've seen me on the national news.
i have two things to say. one: i do firmly believe that we should wipe all men from the face of the planet. and two: i am so fucking glad that belle didn't let shame and grief keep her trapped in the generational cycle of silence that so many women fall victim to. as women, we are always expected to understand and forgive men, to be quiet and graceful, to let bad behaviour slide instead of calling it out. there's this pesky notion that claims if your partner cheats on you, it must be because of something that you did. maybe you weren't pretty enough, or smart enough, so he had to go find these qualities in someone else. maybe if you had done something differently, you would've been able to keep your man loyal.
what a load of horseshit. 🥱
it was so refreshing to see belle refuse to subscribe to this assumption; even though i don't know her personally, by the end of this book, i felt so proud of her. i hope that her decision to share her story resonates with anyone else who has gone through a similar type of heartbreak. being discarded in such a callous way is always a devastating experience, but i think this memoir serves as proof that you can come out the other side stronger, surer, and even better than you were before.
September 12, 2025
This poetic, raw, and poignant memoir captures the shattering impact on a wife's life when, out of the blue, her husband asks for a divorce. Could hardly read through my tears but could not put it down due to its transformative message of hope. Wow!
October 5, 2025
I have very mixed feelings about this book.
I did enjoy reading it, it certainly kept my attention, but in some other way i found it boring.
It’s a story thousands of women could write, it is not that unique.
Thanks to Netgalley for giving me the chance to read this.
I did enjoy reading it, it certainly kept my attention, but in some other way i found it boring.
It’s a story thousands of women could write, it is not that unique.
Thanks to Netgalley for giving me the chance to read this.
November 23, 2025
3,5
Impressive and compelling, but in the end it got a bit repetative and it could maybe have been a bit shorter. Thank you Penguin random House UK and Netgalley UK for the ARC.
Impressive and compelling, but in the end it got a bit repetative and it could maybe have been a bit shorter. Thank you Penguin random House UK and Netgalley UK for the ARC.
January 16, 2026
A gut-wrenching memoir of marriage told without bitterness, resentment, or self-pity. My eyes roll at the haters who dismiss Belle Burden as too wealthy and privileged to show admirable strength in the face of adversity. I’m impressed by her self-knowledge and moved by her vulnerability.
January 16, 2026
Reading this as a daughter who quite vividly remembers walking through her parents divorce was an interesting and rather moving experience. Belle writes incredibly well and sums up her life and what feels to be its end so succinctly yet poignantly. I feel a peculiar sort of hollowness in my gut; as Carrie said, “Things are good now. But I wish I was little again.”
October 14, 2025
Heart-wrenching, devastating, and triumphant - Belle Burden's memoir "Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage" was a beautifully crafted work that I was surprisingly drawn into, despite the fact that I had never been married before.
Shortly after the beginning of the COVID-19 Pandemic, Belle and her husband of over two decades are quarantined in their summer home at Martha's Vineyard with their three children when James delivers life-changing news: he's fallen in love with another woman and promptly leaves his family behind, returning back to Manhattan to continue the affair. In the days that follow, Belle attempts to make sense of this complete upheaval, looking back on their decades-long relationship, meeting and falling in love at a law firm in NYC and the countless memories and emotions that she holds from the years that follow. She questions herself - What did she miss? What did she do wrong? - while simultaneously trying to maintain structure for her children and understand how and when do break this news to them.
While this memoir is called a Memoir of Marriage, it's so much more. Belle dives into her and her ex-husband's backgrounds, noting how their own childhoods and family experiences shaped them into adulthood. She recalls their early years with love and fondness, painting a man who was loving, supportive, and kind - yet had his own demons and insecurities he battled with in secret. And she lays out the painful and difficult time that follows, including the legal consequences of divorce and the contentious separation of assets; the social repercussions she had to face when friends and acquaintances inevitably heard the news and inevitably chose a side or narrative to believe; and her own personal physical recovery, including diving back into writing as an opportunity to take back her voice and story. It is one woman's personal story and triumph, but also sheds a clear and glaring light at the misogyny and sexism still present today, at the immediate doubt cast on women and the expectation that they will bear the brunt of giving grace and forgiveness even when it's uncalled for.
The writing is enthralling, emotionally intricate and contemplative, which made it easy to finish this book within a day. I highly recommend "Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage" to anyone who has an opportunity to read it once it's published in January 2026!
Shortly after the beginning of the COVID-19 Pandemic, Belle and her husband of over two decades are quarantined in their summer home at Martha's Vineyard with their three children when James delivers life-changing news: he's fallen in love with another woman and promptly leaves his family behind, returning back to Manhattan to continue the affair. In the days that follow, Belle attempts to make sense of this complete upheaval, looking back on their decades-long relationship, meeting and falling in love at a law firm in NYC and the countless memories and emotions that she holds from the years that follow. She questions herself - What did she miss? What did she do wrong? - while simultaneously trying to maintain structure for her children and understand how and when do break this news to them.
While this memoir is called a Memoir of Marriage, it's so much more. Belle dives into her and her ex-husband's backgrounds, noting how their own childhoods and family experiences shaped them into adulthood. She recalls their early years with love and fondness, painting a man who was loving, supportive, and kind - yet had his own demons and insecurities he battled with in secret. And she lays out the painful and difficult time that follows, including the legal consequences of divorce and the contentious separation of assets; the social repercussions she had to face when friends and acquaintances inevitably heard the news and inevitably chose a side or narrative to believe; and her own personal physical recovery, including diving back into writing as an opportunity to take back her voice and story. It is one woman's personal story and triumph, but also sheds a clear and glaring light at the misogyny and sexism still present today, at the immediate doubt cast on women and the expectation that they will bear the brunt of giving grace and forgiveness even when it's uncalled for.
The writing is enthralling, emotionally intricate and contemplative, which made it easy to finish this book within a day. I highly recommend "Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage" to anyone who has an opportunity to read it once it's published in January 2026!
January 28, 2026
We are all limited by our experiences, but memoirs of the ultra-wealthy often reveal a stunning blindness to their own privilege. In her new memoir, Belle Burden, a middle-aged woman from a pedigreed New York City family—her grandmother was Babe Paley—writes solemnly about her hedge fund husband's sudden departure after 20 years of marriage. In doing so, she inadvertently provides entrée into the very private universe of inherited generational wealth, where discussions of money are considered gauche and verboten.
The details accumulate: rambling Manhattan apartments, elite private schools, exclusive boarding schools and Ivy League colleges, trust funds tapped to cover monthly expenses and to purchase outright huge waterfront second homes at the poshest beach locales in the world, high-end decorators, private tennis clubs. Her husband once chided her for never even looking at the restaurant bill before placing her Platinum Amex card on top of the leather folder. Though she tries to humanize herself by discussing her passion for using her law degree for public service, she neglects to mention that only the very wealthiest lawyers can afford to work pro bono while raising three children in Manhattan.
Her inculcated elitism is most glaringly revealed when she describes the "tough" childhood experienced by her now ex-husband. Though he and his siblings were afforded costly Manhattan private school educations and resided in a classic seven co-op (no doubt tiny in comparison to her mother's expansive two-story apartment on East End Avenue), they were unable "to afford vacations or dine out." This, to her, constituted hardship. When describing her own mother's childhood as the daughter of Babe Paley and Stanley G. Mortimer, Jr., she writes that the children were housed in a separate cottage on their parents' Long Island estate to be raised by nannies, where their mother would visit only once per month. She attributes this maternal neglect as being common for the era. Is she aware that the vast majority of mothers at that time did not have the luxury of outsourcing the care and raising of their children to hired help in residences separate from the ones in which the parents lived?
Perhaps that's what's missing from Belle Burden's memoir—not an apology for extreme privilege, but at least some acknowledgment despite the abrupt and painful end of her marriage- she remains a very, very lucky person. Without that self-awareness, these stories of gilded hardship ring hollow, no matter how elegantly told.
The details accumulate: rambling Manhattan apartments, elite private schools, exclusive boarding schools and Ivy League colleges, trust funds tapped to cover monthly expenses and to purchase outright huge waterfront second homes at the poshest beach locales in the world, high-end decorators, private tennis clubs. Her husband once chided her for never even looking at the restaurant bill before placing her Platinum Amex card on top of the leather folder. Though she tries to humanize herself by discussing her passion for using her law degree for public service, she neglects to mention that only the very wealthiest lawyers can afford to work pro bono while raising three children in Manhattan.
Her inculcated elitism is most glaringly revealed when she describes the "tough" childhood experienced by her now ex-husband. Though he and his siblings were afforded costly Manhattan private school educations and resided in a classic seven co-op (no doubt tiny in comparison to her mother's expansive two-story apartment on East End Avenue), they were unable "to afford vacations or dine out." This, to her, constituted hardship. When describing her own mother's childhood as the daughter of Babe Paley and Stanley G. Mortimer, Jr., she writes that the children were housed in a separate cottage on their parents' Long Island estate to be raised by nannies, where their mother would visit only once per month. She attributes this maternal neglect as being common for the era. Is she aware that the vast majority of mothers at that time did not have the luxury of outsourcing the care and raising of their children to hired help in residences separate from the ones in which the parents lived?
Perhaps that's what's missing from Belle Burden's memoir—not an apology for extreme privilege, but at least some acknowledgment despite the abrupt and painful end of her marriage- she remains a very, very lucky person. Without that self-awareness, these stories of gilded hardship ring hollow, no matter how elegantly told.
January 18, 2026
I'm really surprised by how much love this is getting. It's fine. It's a rich people divorce memoir. But I wouldn't say it's memorable or offers anything new.
January 15, 2026
torn on how I feel about this - a well written and raw account of a painful unraveling, I struggled to wrap my mind around why this rich white woman’s story was uniquely deserving of so much NYT coverage, and why I played into it by reading it.
December 1, 2025
A memoir of the authors marriage that abruptly ended upon a finding out her husband was involved with another woman. I feel like much of this book was her processing her experience and trying to understand how her perceived successful marriage ended randomly one day.
The title of this book shows how she navigated her and her husbands past amongst their 25+ years together.
An easy listen, that kept me curious to know how certain things would shake out. Come to learn she comes from a wealthy and influential family made me wonder what of that allowed her to have this published voice. A raw and vulnerable book that I think readers will like but maybe not if you’re in the middle of a divorce?
The title of this book shows how she navigated her and her husbands past amongst their 25+ years together.
An easy listen, that kept me curious to know how certain things would shake out. Come to learn she comes from a wealthy and influential family made me wonder what of that allowed her to have this published voice. A raw and vulnerable book that I think readers will like but maybe not if you’re in the middle of a divorce?
September 8, 2025
Beautifully written and deeply honest, this memoir pulls you right into the heart of a complicated, emotional story. Belle Burden writes with such vulnerability and clarity that you can feel every high and low as if you were living it alongside her.
It’s raw and reflective but also full of moments that make you pause and really think about love, marriage, and identity. One of those memoirs that lingers in your mind long after you finish.
It’s raw and reflective but also full of moments that make you pause and really think about love, marriage, and identity. One of those memoirs that lingers in your mind long after you finish.
December 1, 2025
“He is not a villain. He is a man with his own wounds. He is my children’s father, the source of many years of love and happiness. He is someone who made decisions about his own life, his own future. He is someone I can survive without. He is someone I don’t know. He is someone who doesn’t know me.”
January 18, 2026
Whew. This memoir was a doozy for me.
This book is probably very niche reading for folks who have been through or are going through a (more) contentious (than not) divorce. Or for folks who were taken with the idea of the New York socialites known by Truman Capote as The Swans. The author is the granddaughter of Babe Paley, whose philandering husband’s reputation brought her unwelcome scrutiny and pity. Rubberneckers will likely be happy that Babe has a few mentions in the book.
Belle Burden’s rarified silver spoon upbringing isn’t debatable, but neither is the moving nature of her achingly emotional account of betrayal, separation, and a high profile divorce in which her ex held all of the legal and and most of the financial power. The emotional toll of living through such inexplicable behavior by a spouse of 20+ years rang so devastatingly true. The absolute mindfuck divorce can be is portrayed so vulnerably.
Belle herself admits her uber wealthy lifestyle removes her from many of the terrifying possibilities that less privileged folk (mostly women) rightfully fear when facing single parenthood. And yet many of the financial decisions she made, trusting in her confident Family Man spouse to support and care for her, sound just like the dumbass decisions so many of us make (when young, naive, and blinded by love) and then kick ourselves for later. Financial abuse has probably not Been written about before so eloquently.
Mostly, I connected with her descriptions of the massive internal shift in emotional landscape: from comfortable(ish) married to an incomprehensibly imbalanced and confusing separated singleness. Her descriptions the of the uncomfortable unpredictability and emotional fallout of post-separation encounters: when others engaged (or purposefully didn’t!) with her socially, the surprising folks in her network who circled their wagon in one direction or the other, the men who spoke of “playing hardball” in settlement negotiations as if betting on a game. Trying to figure out the post-divorce person is a hard but worthwhile task and she leads the reader through that.
I’ll read this again and likely be thankful all over again for her candor and vulnerability.
This book is probably very niche reading for folks who have been through or are going through a (more) contentious (than not) divorce. Or for folks who were taken with the idea of the New York socialites known by Truman Capote as The Swans. The author is the granddaughter of Babe Paley, whose philandering husband’s reputation brought her unwelcome scrutiny and pity. Rubberneckers will likely be happy that Babe has a few mentions in the book.
Belle Burden’s rarified silver spoon upbringing isn’t debatable, but neither is the moving nature of her achingly emotional account of betrayal, separation, and a high profile divorce in which her ex held all of the legal and and most of the financial power. The emotional toll of living through such inexplicable behavior by a spouse of 20+ years rang so devastatingly true. The absolute mindfuck divorce can be is portrayed so vulnerably.
Belle herself admits her uber wealthy lifestyle removes her from many of the terrifying possibilities that less privileged folk (mostly women) rightfully fear when facing single parenthood. And yet many of the financial decisions she made, trusting in her confident Family Man spouse to support and care for her, sound just like the dumbass decisions so many of us make (when young, naive, and blinded by love) and then kick ourselves for later. Financial abuse has probably not Been written about before so eloquently.
Mostly, I connected with her descriptions of the massive internal shift in emotional landscape: from comfortable(ish) married to an incomprehensibly imbalanced and confusing separated singleness. Her descriptions the of the uncomfortable unpredictability and emotional fallout of post-separation encounters: when others engaged (or purposefully didn’t!) with her socially, the surprising folks in her network who circled their wagon in one direction or the other, the men who spoke of “playing hardball” in settlement negotiations as if betting on a game. Trying to figure out the post-divorce person is a hard but worthwhile task and she leads the reader through that.
I’ll read this again and likely be thankful all over again for her candor and vulnerability.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 26, 2026
Remind me to reread this when I am going through a divorce, being gaslit by a man, or want to hear someone describe the cape and vineyard 🤗. Her story was simple, but so thought provoking. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while. Maybe forever. As a child of divorce it is so hard for me to picture a marriage lasting till death. Life changes so much, it changes you, it changes your partner into maybe a different person… how are people expected to make that work till they die? She married a sweet reliable guy. 20 years later, he’s an entitled asshole that abandons his family. The whole concept of a lifelong romantic relationship oftentimes seems so forced. Divorce sounds so incredibly painful but thank god it exists.
January 19, 2026
At first, I was very sympathetic about the situation but after a while, it became difficult to maintain due to the continued attention and credit that she gave her ex. His changing of the pre-nup should have been a red flag in the first place and she was told that. Multiple times. By multiple trusted sources. Not clocking the whole financial picture, coming from her family's level of financial privilege? Wild. Continuing to send your kids to boarding school despite losing your breadwinner and while losing sleep being worried about money? On the same pages used to tell me how worried she was about them, as they slept over at school? Even more wild. (As a public school teacher, it is incumbent upon me to note that excellent public schools exist near *both* of her rarified zip codes)
I finished it because I bought it, but I regret it. At least I only lost a couple of hours and 99 cents on an Audible promotion, but it did manage to inoculate me from believing any further NYT book recs, so by that measure, it was worth it. 🫡
I finished it because I bought it, but I regret it. At least I only lost a couple of hours and 99 cents on an Audible promotion, but it did manage to inoculate me from believing any further NYT book recs, so by that measure, it was worth it. 🫡
January 23, 2026
Privilege 50%
Humble Brags 20%
Martha's Vineyard 15%
COVID 10%
Financial Hardship. 0%
Osprey 5%
Humble Brags 20%
Martha's Vineyard 15%
COVID 10%
Financial Hardship. 0%
Osprey 5%
January 10, 2026
I couldn’t stop reading. What an honest, poignant memoir about rediscovery and rebuilding after betrayal and heartbreak.
September 28, 2025
I have such mix feelings on this book.
First, it is so well written I could not put it down and I am very picky about what I read, especially when it comes to memoirs.
I come from a family with a dad that cheated on my mom (thankfully, she is not on social media, so I can say that). I saw firsthand what happens and it has left lasting impressions on me - some good
ones (my mother is such a strong person) to bad (wow, I did not matter to my dad, not really).
I will state this right now, that man is something else and he does not deserve his family - no question about that and he deserves whatever karma is coming to him.
When it comes to men and love, something seems to happen to many perfectly strong women, we get stupid (me included). It was so obvious that James had disconnected and was actually doing what was best for HIM. The whole prenup thing just got me mad. Yet. Belle said it herself, it was her fault, everyone told her about the prenup, but she was so in love she threw away all advice - See what I mean about smart women,,,
Her writing style is wonderful. You feel her pain. You feel her fear. She built James enough for many readers to have a strong opinion on this man and his actions. I found myself rooting for her at times and wanting to yell at her at other times. This is a direct testimony to the writing.
The pace was also excellent. She does not go deep into useless details. She tells us what we need to read. The story moves forward well.
This was a very frustrating read , but I loved it, and I hope she writes a follow up in a few years so we can follow her journey.
First, it is so well written I could not put it down and I am very picky about what I read, especially when it comes to memoirs.
I come from a family with a dad that cheated on my mom (thankfully, she is not on social media, so I can say that). I saw firsthand what happens and it has left lasting impressions on me - some good
ones (my mother is such a strong person) to bad (wow, I did not matter to my dad, not really).
I will state this right now, that man is something else and he does not deserve his family - no question about that and he deserves whatever karma is coming to him.
When it comes to men and love, something seems to happen to many perfectly strong women, we get stupid (me included). It was so obvious that James had disconnected and was actually doing what was best for HIM. The whole prenup thing just got me mad. Yet. Belle said it herself, it was her fault, everyone told her about the prenup, but she was so in love she threw away all advice - See what I mean about smart women,,,
Her writing style is wonderful. You feel her pain. You feel her fear. She built James enough for many readers to have a strong opinion on this man and his actions. I found myself rooting for her at times and wanting to yell at her at other times. This is a direct testimony to the writing.
The pace was also excellent. She does not go deep into useless details. She tells us what we need to read. The story moves forward well.
This was a very frustrating read , but I loved it, and I hope she writes a follow up in a few years so we can follow her journey.
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