Reparenting the Inner Child: The New Science of Our Oldest Wounds and How to Heal Them

by Nicole LePera

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of How to Do the Work and How to Be the Love You Seek comes a groundbreaking guide to healing our childhood wounds and rediscovering our full potential

As adults, we often fall into patterns that feel irrational or out of character—shutting down, lashing out, people-pleasing, or self-sabotaging. Beneath those reactions lies our inner child, a younger part of us still trying to get its needs met the only way it knows how.

We all carry the imprint of our earliest years. Childhood is brief, yet its impact is lifelong. Some parts of us were met with love while other parts were met with silence, criticism, or disapproval. To survive, we learned to adapt—learning to over perform, to hide, or stay small. Most of us made it through with a mix of love and lack. And many of us still protect the parts of ourselves that once felt unsafe.

While we can’t change what happened, we can change how it lives within us and impacts our lives today. Reparenting the Inner Child offers a clear, compassionate path to self-integration, combining practical exercises, somatic tools, and guided reflections to help us create the safety, love, and boundaries we've always needed. Through her holistic framework that models individual development, Dr. LePera explains how we can cultivate the emotional maturity and regulation to respond calmly instead of reacting, to embrace desire instead of shame, and to question the stories we've long believed about who we have to be.

Enlightening, empowering, and clarifying, Reparenting the Inner Child is a book that will stand the test of time as a comprehensive guide for personal development and healing, and a resource that will forever change the way we understand ourselves.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Parenting, Mental Health, Audiobook, Personal Development

384 pages, Hardcover

Published March 24, 2026

About the author

Dr. Nicole LePera is a Holistic Psychologist who believes that mental wellness is for everyone. She evolved her more traditional training from Cornell University and The New School to one that acknowledges the connection between the mind and body.

Dr. LePera views mental and physical struggles from a whole person perspective and works to identify the underlying physical and emotional causes. She understands that balance is an integral part of wellness and empowers individuals to heal themselves, supporting them on their wellness journeys.

Dr. LePera founded the Mindful Healing Center in Center City Philadelphia. She recently expanded her work online creating a platform for teaching these often overlooked components of mental wellness to individuals and practitioners around the world.

Reviews

[.ೃ࿔⋆ weeps ⋆.ೃ࿔]

I wrote a lengthy review, but have since deleted it. Someone reached out and enlightened me about the controversy surrounding this author. After further research of my own, I see that she has reframed others' discoveries and claims that it's *new science.

The book’s subtitle refers to “the new science of our oldest wounds.” After looking further into the ideas presented, many of the concepts stem from research that has circulated for decades. It would have been received better if it hadn't been packaged this way. While many practitioners use methods and ideologies that came before them, it's important to acknowledge them.

I do believe in the benefits of doing internal work. The material in this book isn't inherently damaging (acknowledging stress patterns, epigenetics, post-trauma growth, attachment styles, etc).

Additionally, I appreciated the workbook in practice, but I do not agree with self-care advocates who oversimplify complex traumas and systemic oppression.

I would like to highlight some of the original researchers before this publication

Mary Main ~ the study of classifying disorganized attachments and the Adult Attachment Interview

John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth ~ on the study of attunement and secure attachment for survival

Bessel van der Kolk
~ on the study of traumatic memory and stress disorder

Judith Lewis Herman ~ development of the diagnosis Complex PTSD; linking survivors of domestic and political violence. "Arguing that recovery requires safety, remembrance, and reconnection."

for more social critiques see this article by VICE

[Emily (emsalwaysreading) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book #25 of 2026!

Thank you so much to #NetGalley and Macmillan audio for the advanced listening copy!

What to expect in this book:

-Self-help/psyhology
-Exercises and interventions
-Detailed and helpful
-Empowering and enlightening

Thoughts

After reading Nicole's book "How to Do the Work" and recommending it to countless clients within my therapy practice, I knew her newest book would be nothing short of informative and encouraging to readers seeking to better understand themselves and the path that their own unique childhoods have had on their current expressions of their own patterns of behavior. Reparenting is a concept that I discuss with client frequently. We do not often have the appropriate tools from our parents and other care givers to meet our needs at a young age and enter into adulthood with wounds that have gone unattended. Through the lens of attachment, internal-family systems, and somatic therapy, Nicole allows readers a glance (through empirical research and data, as well as her own practice as a therapist) into the process of healing those wounds and reconnecting with the inner child in ourselves.

This book was extremely informative and covered so much ground. I was very impressed by the writer's ability to convey psychological research and data over many different therapeutic approaches and backgrounds into an interconnected narrative of self-discovery and reparenting. I found myself immediately adding this book to cart even just halfway through. While there is a lot of information here and it will certainly not apply to every reader, I believe those who are self-aware, introspective, and have a desire to learn and become more integrated within themselves with wholly benefit from this book as they seek to be more compassionate and kind to themselves. I certainly learned a bit about myself and found myself screen recording parts of this book to come back to and to highlight when I get the physical book.

If you love non-fiction, psychology and self-help books, be sure to add this to your list! As a therapist and fellow human being, I highly recommend! This will be on shelves in late March.

[Tamara Mansfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received the audiobook from NetGalley as an ALC. I was barely halfway when I KNEW I had to buy this book. So much information. So validating. She even explores the link between childhood trauma and MCAS and autoimmune diseases. Me! All meeee! Needless to say I found the book validating and I learned a lot. I’m going to do the exercises once I get the physical copy! 5 stars!!

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy! The narrator also did a great job.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Reparenting the Inner Child as an audiobook overall. Nicole LePera’s voice is warm and engaging, and her delivery makes the material feel accessible and compassionate — which is especially important given the emotional depth of the topic. The pacing is steady and thoughtful, allowing time to reflect on the concepts without feeling rushed. I also appreciated the clear pronunciation and consistent tone throughout, which made it easy to stay focused even during the longer sections.

Overall, the production quality is solid, and this audiobook made a complex topic feel approachable. I’m giving it four stars because while the narration is strong and comforting, a bit more vocal dynamism could have made the listening experience even better.

[Max Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book. Everyone should read this book, whether you had a great childhood or one marked with abuse, pain and trauma. This book is for you, the practices are life changing and can be used for any and every stage of life. This book has giving me language to name feelings I’ve held for years and comprehension of my past. This read was life changing.

[Christine B · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a wonderful nonfiction read! There was so much to unpack from this book. Reparenting your inner child is about healing yourself from past trauma you may or may not be aware of. I really enjoyed listening to all the ways we could have been affected throughout our lives and how it can impact us to this day with mental heath issues. The author gives much hope for healing with plenty of groundwork exercises one can do to heal. I found the entire book to have helpful advice and great knowledge. I will definitely be recommending and talking about this book! I received a digital copy of this book from NetGalley in trade for my honest opinion. My thoughts are my own.

[Ari (ariannasreading) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my second book by this author and I’ve become a big fan of her work. This is an excellent book that resonated strongly with me. So much so, that by the time I reached 60%, I had already pre-ordered a physical copy. I can’t wait for it to arrive as it’s the kind of book that begs for sticky notes, highlighters, and journaling alongside each chapter. The exercises are thoughtfully designed and will certainly evoke some big emotions if you’re willing to take the time to work through them.

[Isabela · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️4.5. I think we should all read this book. Even if our parents were amazing, as little kids we formed precipitated conclusions about life and ourselves that affect us more than we sometimes realize. This book was enlightening and inspiring, and serves as a starting point to understand, heal and support our adult selves with compassion and responsibility.

[Myrophora · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this book and it made it all that more personal. I started to take note of some of the activities. It would have been good if the audio book was accompanied by a work book. As self help books go, this is definitely worth a read/listen.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Better as a workbook than audiobook, Id imagine. Solid read for someone new to the subject but heavy at times, which makes sense.

[Sarah High · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic resource!

[Laura Keegan]

DNF. I found it repetitive and honestly unnecessarily intense (maybe that’s my trauma speaking?)

[Natalie Park · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Lots of good info and small, easy ways to become aware and start to shift things in real-time.

[Kris · Rating 5 out of 5]

An insightful guide for anyone on an inner healing journey. I found the sections on attachment styles especially illuminating — they helped me understand long-standing patterns in myself and offered language for personal growth. The exercises and prompts invited deep self-reflection and felt both grounding and empowering. I would highly recommend this to introverts, journalers, and anyone seeking deeper self-awareness and emotional understanding.

[Andi_loves_2_read · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr Nicole LePera is a psychologist who uses a holistic approach to help the mind and body heal from traumas. I have read and benefited from her previous books and very much looked forward to this one! Reparenting the Inner Child focuses on identifying wounds that have carried over from childhood, providing practical exercises at the end of chapters that will help you understand and heal.
I learned so much from this book - life changing things that will help me heal parts of myself and better my relationships with others. I especially liked that not only does this book help me understand myself better, it helps me understand my parents and other loved ones better too - which helps to heal wounds that have been festering.
Thank you Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for the ARC!

[Marylovesreading · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review of *Reparenting the Inner Child: The New Science of Our Oldest Wounds and How to Heal Them*
by Nicole LePera
Narrated by Courtney Patterson & Nicole LePera
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5⭐️)

This book is packed with valuable information, delivered in a way that kept me engaged, interested, and motivated throughout. While many of the concepts themselves aren’t entirely new, they are organized and presented in a way that makes consistent practice feel accessible and achievable.

Nicole LePera breaks down complex emotional and psychological patterns into practical, understandable steps, making this a powerful resource for anyone interested in personal growth and healing.

I cannot recommend this book enough — I believe it will stand alongside some of the top titles in the psychological self-help genre.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the ALC.

[Jillian]

"The work you do to reparent yourself doesn't end with you; it ripples outward. The goal here is awareness because awareness creates choice, and choice is what empowers us to break cycles."

"Reparenting isn't about erasing the past but about learning to hold it with compassion while ending cycles that were never yours to keep. And you don't have to have all the answers to begin. What matters is that you're listening, with your body, your heart, and your soul. The past shaped you. But you are the one who gets to decide what comes next. When you meet inherited burdens with understanding, you free yourself from the roles you never chose. Letting go is an act of remembrance. It's honoring what came before while choosing a path that is lighter, truer, and fully your own. In doing so, your nervous system learns to associate rest and ease with safety."

"Beginning when we are infants, our brain assesses how each part of our body feels, especially during emotional moments. If you tensed your shoulders every time you felt afraid or curled into yourself when you were sad, those patterns became part of your body's emotional memory. Over time, your brain links physical sensations to emotional cues, shaping how you move, feel, and respond to the world. In this way, our inner child lives not just in our thoughts but in our muscles, breath, posture, and gut instincts."

"Thankfully, through safety, movement, and new emotional experiences, we can rewire our relationship with our body, teaching it, over time, that we are safe now. When you choose a new action and repeat it, you start forming a new trail in the forest. At first, it's clumsy, awkward, and even uncomfortable, but over time, it becomes your new go-to path. And the old trail? Without regular use, it will fade back into the wild, overtaken by weeds. In the same way, your brain forms new pathways while gradually pruning the ones you no longer use, making room for the connections you're actively reinforcing.
Your brain is always listening and always watching. It learns not through what you intend but through what you repeat. This is the power of neuroplasticity: Your brain changes based on how you use it. So, when you start showing up in new ways--speaking your truth, setting boundaries, regulating your nervous system--you're not just "trying" to change. You're literally rewiring the neural pathways that control the action. And the more you practice behaviors that align with who you want to be, the more natural they become."

"Below are five core practices that support the reparenting process. These are ongoing habits that nurture your healing and emotional stability over time:
1. Acknowledge and Accept the Past. We can't rewire what happened, but we can stop abandoning or betraying ourselves because of it. Acceptance means making space for the truth of what hurt and what was missing. This is how we begin to meet the needs that went unmet, on our terms, in our time.
2. Quiet Your Inner Critic. The critical voice that shames or belittles you often echoes what you once heard or felt in childhood. Instead of arguing with it, begin to notice it and practice redirecting your attention toward a kinder response. Choose one phrase of compassion--"I'm learning" or "I'm safe now"--and repeat it. Each time you do, you build an inner dialogue rooted in care.
3. Validate Your Experience. Your feelings are real, even if someone else once dismissed them. Practice naming your emotions, when you can, without judgment. "I feel sad." I feel overwhelmed." "This was hard for me." Validation signals to your nervous system, I matter and am worth listening to, making us feel seen, which is the foundation of safety.
4. Practice Compassion and Patience. Self-compassion is essential. It calms our nervous system, releases oxytocin, and helps us feel safe in our own skin. Patience means honoring your pace even and especially when it's messy because healing is about presence, not perfection.
5. Nurture Yourself. Nurturing yourself teaches your nervous system that care is safe to receive. Peter Levine, a pioneering trauma therapist, identifies several forms of nurturance essential to healing. These small, consistent acts in each area help rewire your sense of worth:
– Physical Nurturance: Adequate rest, nourishment, and joyful movement
– Emotional Nurturance: Tenderness, empathy, and permission to feel
– Verbal Nurturance: Encouraging inner dialogue, reading, storytelling
– Spiritual Nurturance: Creative expression, awe, connection to something greater
Reparenting is about returning to yourself with more safety and care than you once had. Each choice to pause, soothe, or honor your needs is a step toward rewriting the hold story. And just like any skill, reparenting grows stronger with practice."

"There's a common expression, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." And when we've been through something really hard, that can feel frustrating if not infuriating to hear. Our pain is deep and real, and many of us have gone through things we wish never happened. But they did, so the question becomes: What do we do with it now? When we heal from traumatic events, our goal isn't to minimize the pain or to deny the difficult aspects. Rather, we want to reframe the meaning in our lives and integrate these experiences into a future that we choose for ourselves."

"Naming what gets in the way of your growth honors your reality. The question isn't "Why haven't I healed yet?" It's "What might I need in order to take the next step?" Growth is always possible. When you begin to create safety in your body, surround yourself with people who truly see you, and soften the way you speak to yourself, something begins to shift. First subtly, then steadily, and eventually, unmistakably.
We can't be so focused on growth that we bypass pain the name of enlightenment. Because sometimes, what looks like rising above is actually just a clever way of avoiding what we don't want to see."

"As trauma researcher Janina Fisher notes, healing is not about getting rid of the past; it's about reclaiming the self we had to leave behind to survive it. And as we carry our grief forward, something in us begins to shift. We are no longer who we were before the pain, but we're not defined by the pain either. This is identity transformation."

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

REPARENTING THE INNER CHILD:
BY: DR. NICOLE LEPERA

The fact of the powerful advocate for learning how to heal by "Reparenting the Inner Child" written by Nicle Lepera is a very through, comprehensive self development book that was phenomenal for her being very accessible with her making it very basic with how you dn't need a backgrund in psychology. I have ne s fr me it was quite a bit that I already knew since I have been interested in Attachment Thery, and the material about having read about the affects from having emtinally immature parents which she touches on giving quick summary's. Most f us get some f ur needs met, which I have read the primary sources, and imagining gazing at a picture f ourselves when we were children was all very familiar to me. There's no blaming arents since most f us are adults who are res nsible fr hw we can't change the ast, and we can acquire the necessary skills which gives us agency fr hw we can learn about the way to heal ld childhood wunds that surprisingly there's not just ur minds that stres memories , but an incredible amounts f tls she rides plenty f jurnal rmts with which the nervous system is heavily focused n learning how to calm it by plenty f exercises. She goes ver new detailed instructions t help. I had already been familiar with Stehen rge's lyvagal Thery since he's mentioned which I have read his bk called "Safe and Sund." Nicle seemed to use his model for the nervous system with her explaining how with always a cmplpaul525 assinate arach making sure each person can lace their hands ver their belly and heart fr many of the tls that she laces a lot f emphasis on how you will have tins whether you close your eyes or not is u t each reader t decide whether you decide whether to close your eyes r not. I think that the material covered is most certainly ging t need a journal r ntebk at the end of each section. I noticed that Mel Rbbins is in the sub title saying "Yu need to read this bk." Mel Rbbins is a new discovery to me which has not only a favorite Podcast on Audible with interesting guests that is free, and very influential in how she is quite knowledgeable and has interesting tics with her guests that she interviews are always fascinating since they are usually experts and I need to read her bk called "Let Them." Mel Robbins is endorsing this speaks volumes to how a lot of people could benefit from this latest self development, and holistic approach written by Dr. Nicole Lepera called, "Reparenting the Inner Child." I also can't feel like a most impressive to me that Mel Robbins has a lot of impressive guests that she has interviewed on that podcast that I have only seen a few episodes, but seeing her in the subtitle and I quote her 'You need to read this book,' makes me feel that I should go back through Dr. Nicole Lepera's book with a notebook and do the self reflective journal prmpts aul525 that has exercises that have not escaped my notice as being introspective, but necessary since I remembered new ideas. I know that this has offered going to be as groundbreaking new content that she has former clients as well t help clarify the material resented which she also was kind enough t also give examples that also t clarify content included that were from her personal life experiences, and examples of clients that I feel challenged especially when it referred to concepts that I already know about like Attachment Theory, and Children with immature Parents that I read which was really nothing like I had expected since even though though the author is compassionate, and I am just being honest I that would have insightful benefits that have already impressed me while I already know would require time that would be significantly amount longer in terms of quantity that would be impossible to do them all while same require a lot more time than thers since I know is essential to fully get the most benefit from this because I remember they require remembering a lot about what your childhood experiences that are essential to learn and reinforce hw t always remind the reader that they are safe which I appreciated since the wealth f what can happen t thse wh can develop physical pain or inflammation and the section n triggers f ld childhood wunds which that are addressed, but the body that remembers trauma which is why she really focuses heavily n the nervous system, and a wealth for examples that are exercises that she even gives some ideas which each subject covered really is helpful since they were relatable and often helped remind me f how much easier it is when sample answers are provided throughout this which covers s much that really would be easy to implement such as unprocessed trauma stored in the body which this provides different choices. The Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, and a brand new to me which I hadn't ever heard of before called "Flop."

publication Date: March 24, 2026

Thank you to Net Galley, Nicole Lepera, and Flatiron Books for generously providing me with my ARC in exchange for an honest and fair review. All opinions are my own, as always.

#ReparentingtheInnerChild #NicoleLepera #FlatironBooks #NetGalley

[Simran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most of us grow up, get older, and assume we have moved on. But the patterns stay. The same relationship dynamics, the same emotional reactions, the same quiet feeling of being stuck. This book is about why that happens.
Dr. Nicole LePera opens with something that stops you early. She writes about herself as a child, always in motion, always energetic, and then she says: "Before I was taught who I should be, I just was." That one line carries the whole premise of the book. At some point, all of us stopped being ourselves and started becoming whoever we needed to be to feel safe or loved.

She explains that the body holds what the mind tries to forget. "You don't have to remember the fear. You relive it." That is not a metaphor. It is neuroscience. The nervous system stores early experiences and keeps replaying them in adult situations, in how we respond to conflict, how we attach to people, how we shrink or overextend in relationships.

The book makes a clear and important point that most people never sit with long enough. "Survival isn't the same as living." A lot of us learned to function, to adapt, to get through. We became the helper, the quiet one, the achiever, the caretaker, whichever version of ourselves kept the peace or earned love. Those roles felt normal because they were familiar. As LePera writes, the protective behaviors we developed to survive felt like home.

She walks through attachment theory without making it feel academic. Secure, avoidant, anxious, disorganized, she explains each one through real client stories. One that stays with you is Aisha, a woman who kept giving everything in relationships and receiving almost nothing back. When they traced it, Aisha had been her father's emotional anchor since childhood. She had simply learned that "love meant caretaking." She was not broken. She was repeating what she was taught.

This is where LePera is most useful. She separates awareness from healing. "Awareness is a necessary beginning, but by itself, it won't create change." Knowing where a pattern comes from does not dissolve it. The body has to learn something new. The nervous system needs new experiences, not just new information. That is the basis of reparenting.

Reparenting is the practice of giving yourself now what you did not receive then. Safety. Consistency. Compassion. "What was missing in your childhood was never proof that something was wrong with you." That line lands differently depending on where you are in your own story, but it lands.

The exercises throughout the book are quiet and practical. She asks questions like what did this child most long to hear, what parts of you were silenced or shamed, what roles did you take on to feel safe. These are not dramatic exercises. They are slow, honest ones.
The writing does repeat itself across chapters. Some points get made two or three times in slightly different ways. That can feel like padding if you are reading quickly. But the book is not meant to be read quickly.

What LePera offers is not a fix. She is honest about that. What she offers is a relationship with the part of yourself that got left behind. "Our longing to be seen, accepted, and affirmed stays with us for life." The work is learning to meet that longing yourself, so you stop needing everyone else to fill it.

That is the whole book. And it is worth reading.🤍

[Boekenkeetje · Rating 4 out of 5]

Herken je patronen,
Heel je zenuwstelsel,
Vind compassie voor jezelf

We worden allemaal geboren als onschuldige wezentjes.
We voelen ons daarbij verbonden, zijn nieuwsgierig en voelen ons veilig en op ons gemak in ons lichaam en op deze wereld.
Maar we blijven niet eeuwig zo puur.
Zo zullen onze ouders ons in sommige van onze behoeften voorzien en zullen ze in andere tekort schieten.
Niet omdat ze niet van ons hielden, maar omdat ze vaak niet wisten hoe dat moest of zelf gebukt gingen onder hun eigen onverwerkte pijn.

We zullen in ons leven vreugdevolle momenten kennen, successen behalen, maar ook teleurstellingen en verdriet zullen ons niet bespaart blijven.
Deze momenten en invloeden vormen ons..

Wanneer onze behoeften vroeger niet bevredigd werden, en we bepaalde emoties niet mochten doorvoelen, dan zal ons innerlijk kind dit vast zijn gaan houden. Deze emoties werden als het ware genegeerd of geblokkeerd.

Maar zodra er een soortgelijke dreiging komt, zal ons systeem dit nog weten.
Ons zenuwstelsel gaat aan en zal deze zien als een gevaar. Deze zal het verschil niet kennen tussen een kleine stress situatie of een echte bedreiging.

Het innerlijk kind bepaald in feite nog steeds hoe we ons door de wereld begeven en het snakt ernaar om gezien, gehoord en geaccepteerd te worden.
Daarom is het belangrijk om je innerlijk kind te leren begrijpen.

Wanneer we naar dit deel van onszelf gaan luisteren en het gaan integreren door naar deze kinderlijke reacties met medeleven en nieuwsgierigheid te gaan kijken, dan kunnen we ruimte gaan creëren voor iets nieuws.
Vanuit deze situatie kunnen we reageren op het leven zoals het zich nu voordoet en herbeleven we niet langer de emotionele nasleep van ons verleden.

Dit proces noemen we reparenting. Zo mag je jezelf gaan koesteren en je grenzen aan gaan geven.
Vanuit hier zul je beginnen te leven vanuit een plek die rustig, helder en verbonden aanvoelt.

Wat ik heel fijn vind is, is dat dit boek heel veel voorbeelden, hulpmiddelen en fijne bewustzijn- en schrijfoefeningen aanbiedt om nieuwe patronen te creëren.
Op deze manier kun je beter afgestemd raken op wie je werkelijk bent. Zo ga je terug naar je eigen blauwdruk.
Zo kun je wat er in het verleden gebeurd is niet veranderen, maar je kunt wel veranderen hoe het in je voortleefd.
Wat een waardevol boek en werkboek ineen.

[Lydia Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading this book after hearing it mentioned on a podcast I listened to. I was raised in a very authoritarian household, it was abusive, not only emotionally, but physically. Over the past few years I have stepped away from how my family believes and have started my healing process. I have a lot of bitterness, anger in trying to get my family to see where I’m coming from. My family is very dysfunctional but reading this book really helped me understand why. Why some of my siblings don’t want to talk about it, why my mother shuts down and will never be able to have a conversation or see that she needs therapy and to heal her inner child as well. Most importantly this Book has helped me put a name to how I have felt. I have been able to have serious self reflection, conversations with my inner child. I have been able to heal a little bit. I’m not fixed, but I am in the process of healing. And this Book helped me realize that it wasn’t my fault. My family’s problems growing up was not my fault like my mother constantly told me. This book has helped me understand my mother a little bit more, and while that does not excuse her or give her a free pass, it does give me more understanding and Grace to extend her. And I hope that one day maybe she would read this book, do some self reflection and have some conversations with her and her inner child and do some much needed healing. I think everyone in my family should read this book, I think we could all heal together if we simply talked about it and put a name to it. I’m very grateful that this Book discussed things that My family is too scared to talk about. the studies and science behind everything I have ignored and blamed myself for. I listened to the audiobook of this, but I will be purchasing a physical copy so that I can go through and highlight everything that really stuck out to me. 10 out of 10 would recommend to everyone. Even if you had a good childhood.

[Reagan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm on the fence about this book. I was excited to read it but as I did so, there were little things in it that have me concerned. It's evident that this book is well researched, but it's weird to me that this book is calling reparenting a "new science" when it's been around since the 1960s. Self-reparenting has been around since the 1990s. There's isn't really any new or groundbreaking information in here that hasn't already been available.

Another thing I'm concerned about is the wording/phrasing in parts of this book. I think the messages are well-intentioned but the delivery can be harmful at times. For example, calling food an addiction and comparing it to gambling (when relationships with food are much more complex); talking about how a mother's life experiences influence the genetic development of a fetus but not really discussing how the father's genetics play a part; and implying that major mental disorders can be overcome on one's own. The messages in themselves aren't bad, especially when read in context, but the phrasing at times isn't ideal.

What this book does offer are simple, accessible exercises for personal reflection. Honestly I think a companion workbook to this book could be very useful. I feel like many of the exercises are helpful as a jumping off point for reflecting on one's inner child, but if you have complex problems or trauma in your childhood, you're probably better off in traditional therapy than using this book.

I really like that this book presents a full picture of why and how children are impacted by their upbringing, even in utero. It has an optimistic tone overall and provides plenty of examples of how you can begin taking steps to improve your life/future.

All in all, I think this book can help people but not everyone will benefit from reading it.

Thank you Flatiron for this giveaway copy!

[Amanda Mencik · Rating 1 out of 5]

The 'Dr.' on this cover is doing more work than her current credentials can support

I want to start by saying that inner child work is real and reparenting is a legitimate psychological concept. The topic of this book matters and there are a lot of people who genuinely need it. That's actually why I'm writing this review.

Nicole LePera's Pennsylvania psychology license expired in 2021 and she hasn't practiced clinically since. She now runs a multi-million dollar wellness brand with millions of followers, and this is her third book published under the title "Dr." That title is doing a lot of work on this cover, and I think readers deserve to know what it's actually backed by at this point.

There's a documented history of her presenting things that sound like science but aren't, and more importantly, actively discouraging people from relying on formal mental health treatment.

The people most likely to pick up a book like this are people who are already hurting and already skeptical that traditional therapy can help them. Telling those people they can mostly do this alone, dressed up in clinical language from someone using a doctorate as a marketing tool, is a real problem.

If you're in active treatment and your provider doesn't know you're reading this, that's worth a conversation with them before you go further.

The actual subject matter here: attachment wounds, inner child work, nervous system regulation, is covered better elsewhere. Lindsay Gibson's Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, anything by Kristin Neff, Pete Walker's work on complex trauma. All of those are better options than this.

The subject matter is worth your time. This book isn't.

[Alicia Schaefer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A follower of Dr. Nicole LePera for years, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to dive into this book! Talk about relatable!? I felt seen and completely understood over and over again as I listened. I found myself constantly taking notes on behaviors that were so familiar to me, as understanding the “why” always feels so powerful. Listening to this audiobook, I immediately knew I'd need a physical copy too, just so I can highlight important sections and have notes to easily refer back to - I bookmarked so many helpful resources throughout it.

I absolutely love the practices at the end of each chapter. They are realistic, step-by-step instructions on practices you can truly implement in your life the moment you read the book. Knowing I can walk away with something I can do TODAY was so incredibly helpful. I found myself bookmarking spot after spot, as I found so many helpful practices I want to come back to later.

This book will help you learn how your body and nervous system learned to adapt, and it will delve into study results, many of which I found to be super interesting insights. Things like understanding why stillness feels unsafe or not earned were so validating; this book truly explained SO much of my behavior as a child, and I love the feeling that comes with understanding why.

I am confident that I will be referring back to and working from this book for months, if not years to come. An understandable, relatable, holistic, practical book that made me feel seen, heard, and understood in ways that I have possibly never been before (& I’ve spent MANY years in therapy). I can not recommend this book enough!!

[Critiquing Pages · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is surprising to realize how much of our thinking is shaped by early experiences and the reactions of others in situations we have either observed or been part of. This book does an incredible job of bringing awareness to the influences we may not have consciously recognized. Many times throughout the book, I found myself saying, “I have never thought about it that way,” or “That makes sense, I can see how that had something to do with it.”

This is not a self-help book you can finish in one sitting. It is meant to engage and challenge the reader to slow down and reflect on the questions, scenarios, and ideas presented. This thought-provoking strategy is designed to help uncover what has shaped your inner child, why you think and react the way you do, and the steps that can be taken to begin addressing those patterns.

As you move through each chapter, the book guides you on different aspects of your inner child. It introduces various methods for reshaping those patterns, such as journaling or practicing positive affirmations. These exercises question your long-held beliefs and encourage you to reconsider thoughts you may have accepted as truth.

The only element that felt missing while reading this book was an accompanying workbook. Given how interactive and reflective the exercises are, having a dedicated space to complete the activities would make the experience even more effective. That said, this by no means at all takes away from the overall effectiveness of the book; it would simply serve as an additional asset to further enhance the reader’s engagement.

[peppkorn_reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is, without a doubt, a book I will be returning to.
Of course, it’s impossible to heal just by reading a book once as it’s a gradual process that takes a lot of work if you’re willing to put in the effort. But in my opinion, the benefits outweigh the challenges.
All of us carry childhood wounds that affect our lives as adults. I’m fascinated by how the human brain and psychology can adapt and build new pathways and this book provides the tools to help us do that.
This book covers all the basics, along with additional information I hadn’t known before, plus practical exercises, examples, and highly relatable stories.
I found it useful not only for working through childhood trauma but also for parenting (if that’s part of your life).
I loved how the author explains feelings you might have as a result of childhood trauma, especially since they can be hard to identify if you haven’t been given the tools before.

I was fortunate to receive an advance reading and listening copy. The audiobook was narrated by Courtney Patterson, while the author, Dr. Nicole LePera, narrated the foreword and acknowledgments. The narrators were great, I really have no complaints. I do think that having a hard copy to work through the exercises and practices would be beneficial, while the audiobook is especially useful for meditation practices.

Overall, I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to address their childhood trauma, is seeking change, and is looking for a happier life. We’ve got this 😌

Very thankful to NetGalley, Macmillan Audio, and Flatiron Books for the advance copies!

[Chelsea Walsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reparenting the Inner Child by Dr. Nicole LePera (The Holistic Psychologist) is a life-altering guide for anyone ready to break free from cycles of self-sabotage and emotional reactivity. While her previous work introduces the foundations of self-healing, this book dives deep into the "how" of healing our most vulnerable, younger selves.

Here is why this book is a must-read:
Actionable Roadmap: Unlike many theory-heavy psychology books, Dr. LePera provides practical tools, including somatic exercises, journal prompts, and guided reflections to move you from awareness to actual transformation.

The Four Pillars of Reparenting: She masterfully breaks down the healing process into four essential areas: Loving Discipline, Self-Care, Joy, and Emotional Regulation.

Holistic Approach: The book emphasizes that healing isn't just in the mind; it honors the body's innate wisdom and focuses on regulating the nervous system to create a genuine sense of safety.

Empowerment Over Blame: While it acknowledges childhood wounds, the core message is one of radical self-accountability. It empowers you to become the "wise, loving parent" you always needed, allowing you to rewrite your future instead of being stuck in the past.

This book is a quiet companion and a "masterclass" on why you are the way you are. It doesn't just explain your pain; it gives you the permission and the plan to finally heal at the root.

[hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written by a clinical psychologist, and in this book the author invites us to meet our inner child with curiosity and compassion. To do so, the author presents her Individual Development Model. While previous psychological models focused on cognitive development or personality patterns, thoughts or behaviors, they have often overlooked the role of the body. The author’s breakthrough innovative model embraces a fuller picture of human development incorporating the role of biography and biology, emotion and environment, as well as mind and body.

I really loved how interactive this book is. It’s full of so many exercises, writing prompts, meditations, and somatic exercises. This is not a book to be simply read. It’s a healing manual where the reader can actively engage in their own healing.

I also appreciated her many case studies and real life examples including the author’s own childhood stories. These examples make the concepts concrete and relatable.

This book helps us not only explore how our early lives lead to adaptations we needed in order to survive but provides us with the necessary steps we can take now as adults to heal, grow, and live happy, fulfilling lives. Thanks to Flatiron Books for the review copy via Netgalley. I am voluntarily leaving a review. All opinions are mine.

[Pooja S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is divided into 4 parts, and honestly… it felt like a quiet conversation with myself 🤍

The first part talks about inner child wounds and something called parentification. (Parentification - when a child ends up taking care of a parent emotionally or physically.) It made me realise how often children are forced to grow up too soon, carrying responsibilities that were never theirs.

The second part reflects on how our culture and surroundings shape what we believe about ourselves. The stories we grow up with don’t just stay in our minds, they live in our bodies too. It also explains attachment theory in a simple and relatable way about how the love (or lack of it) we receive in the early childhood shapes every relationship in our lives.

And this line stayed with me: attachment is both the root of joy and suffering.

The third part goes deeper into different inner child wounds, how our nervous system tries to protect us, and how we carry shame without even realising it and how it slowly becomes part of who we are.

The last part felt like a gentle guide to healing. It gives practical exercises and tools to help us reparent ourselves, to slowly become the safe space we always needed.

Not just a book, but something that makes you pause, reflect, and heal💫

[Pingolika Borkataki · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I became a mother, I found myself asking a question I had never taken seriously before:

What am I unconsciously passing on to my child?

That question led me to Reparenting the Inner Child by Dr. Nicole LePera, and it became one of the most thought-provoking books I've read.

The book explores how our childhood experiences continue to shape our emotions, relationships, and behaviors long into adulthood. Many of the patterns we see as flaws, people-pleasing, perfectionism, fear of criticism, or overthinking, may have once been survival strategies.

As a new mother, the chapters on attachment and caregiving felt especially personal. They reminded me that children don't just learn from what we say. They learn from how we regulate our emotions, respond to stress, and treat ourselves.
This isn't a book about blaming our parents. It's about understanding ourselves with compassion so we can break unhealthy patterns instead of passing them on.

If you're interested in psychology, personal growth, or parenting, I highly recommend this book.

Full review is available on my Medium where I dive deeper into the book's key ideas and my personal reflections.