Chopping Onions on My Heart: On Losing and Preserving Culture

by Samantha Ellis

'Easily my non-fiction book of the year... I couldn't put it down' RUKMINI IYER
'Wonderfully immersive and sensitive' VIV GROSKOP

Samantha’s mother tongue is dying out. An urgent need to find out more becomes an expansive investigation into how to keep hold of her culture -- and when to let it go

The daughter of Iraqi-Jewish refugees, Samantha grew up surrounded by the noisy, vivid, hot sounds of Judeo-Iraqi Arabic. A language that’s now on the verge of extinction.

The realisation that she won’t be able to tell her son he’s ‘living in the days of the aubergines’ or ‘chopping onions on my heart’ opens the floodgates. The questions keep coming. How can she pass on the stories of displacement without passing on the trauma? Will her son ever love mango pickle?

In her search for answers Samantha encounters demon bowls, the perils of kohl and the unexpected joys of fusion food. Her journey transports us from the clamour of Noah’s Ark to the calm of the British Museum, from the Oxford School of Rare Jewish Languages to the banks of the River Tigris. As Samantha considers what we lose and keep, she also asks what we might need to let go of to preserve our culture and ourselves.

This is a life-affirming memoir about resilience and repair, and the healing power of dancing to our ancestors’ music, cooking up their recipes and sharing their stories.

'Urgent, alive, propulsive. I adored it' MARINA BENJAMIN
'Moving and resonant... thoroughly recommended' ANNE SEBBA

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Jewish, History, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Biography

288 pages, Hardcover

First published April 3, 2025

About the author

Samantha Ellis is a playwright and journalist. The daughter of Iraqi Jewish refugees she grew up in London. Her non-fiction books are How to be a Heroine (2014) ; Take Courage: Anne Brontë and the Art of Life (2017) and Chopping Onions on my Heart; on losing and preserving culture (2025) which will be published in the US under the title Always Carry Salt. Her plays include Cling to me Like Ivy, Operation Magic Carpet and How to Date a Feminist. She has written prefaces for Anne Brontë's Agnes Grey (Vintage Classics) and Amber Reeves's A Lady and her Husband (Persephone Books).

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

(3.5) Ellis was distressed to learn that her refugee parents’ first language, Judeo-Iraqi Arabic, is in danger of extinction. Her own knowledge of it is piecemeal, mostly confined to its colourful food-inspired sayings – for example, living “eeyam al babenjan (in the days of the aubergines)” means that everything feels febrile and topsy-turvy. She recounts her family’s history with conflict and displacement, takes a Zoom language class, and ponders what words, dishes, and objects she would save on an imaginary “ark” that she hopes to bequeath to her son. Along the way, she reveals surprising facts about Ashkenazi domination of the Jewish narrative. “Did you know the poet [Siegfried Sassoon] was an Iraqi Jew?” His great-grandfather even invented a special variety of mango pickle. All of the foods described sound delicious, and some recipes are given. Ellis’s writing is enthusiastic and she braids the book’s various strands effectively. I wasn’t as interested in the niche history as I wanted to be, but I did appreciate learning about an endangered culture and language.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.

[tillie hellman · Rating 5 out of 5]

i loved this so much.
god where to even begin. it was a beautiful combination of memoir and history, with lots of information about the iraqi jewish experience i had never heard of before (almost all of it tbh) and just a strong feeling of culture but also disconnection from it. my family is ashkenazi but i’ve always felt kindred to non ashkenazi jews due to being mixed raced and i felt that in this fs. it was also just wonderfully written with a really strong narrative voice. the audiobook was read by the author and she has a really nice voice (her accent reminds me of moira quirk LOL). overall just a wonderful book that i got swept up in (listened to a 7 hour audiobook in one day…… even tho i did stuff today out in the world). just powerful messages about the complexities of identity, language, family, history etc etc. just wow!

[Rose Paris · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Chopping onions on my heart' is a Judeo-Iraqi Arabic phrase that is approximate to the idiom 'salt in the wound'. It's the perfect title for this tender and painful memoir about the author's experience as a second generation British Iraqi Jew. Ellis weaves deftly between the personal and the wider history and culture of Iraqi Jewish community, explored through language, place, food, and music, as well as the terrible violence that this community have suffered historically. Ellis also grapples with what it means when your culture (in its homeland) and language is one that is considered on the path to becoming 'extinct'.

Thankfully she gives us a few of the recipes to take away, as well as copious references for further reading. Iraqi Jewish food is described as rich, sweet and sour, all the flavours mixed up together, just like this book, and I imagine just as satisfying.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC from NetGalley
Published January 2026

Thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for the advance listening copy of Always Carry Salt: A Memoir of Preserving Language and Culture in exchange for my honest review.

As a genealogist, I really appreciated the idea of this book. The author, Samantha Ellis, faces the reality that the language of her heritage, Judeo-Iraqi Arabic, is about to become extinct. She discusses the history of her community, their language, their recipes, her own experiences as a second-generation refugee Jew living in London, and her attempts to pass on her culture to her son. I learned a lot about a culture I knew nothing about before. I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author, and it was well done.

My main issue with this book is that the flow of ideas was confusing and hard to follow. It felt more like a conversation, where topics jump around, and you lose track of how you got from one subject to another. While that style works in everyday life, it made the book difficult to read. I think it would have been clearer if each chapter had a main theme, such as one focused solely on recipes, and then included her experiences and history within that topic. The way it’s organized probably made sense to the author, but I found it hard to understand and follow.

Content Warning: Very mild, occasional swearing, some references to a gruesome and violent history.

[Sarah Burr · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really beautiful book. So thought provoking, tender, and relatable to so many contexts. Really loved it. I’d recommend reading it alongside There Are Rivers In The Sky too

[Madison ✨ (mad.lyreading) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a beautiful memoir that taught me so much, not just about the author, but about her people and her culture. Ellis is an Iraqi Jew, a branch of Judaism that I honestly did not know existed before picking up this book. In this memoir, she navigates her identity in a community that is slowly dissipating, with a language that is no longer being shared, and a trauma that continues through her family line. She examines how she can balance being proud of who she is without passing on the trauma of her familial history to her son. This felt too short, but it is also short enough that I see myself picking it up again in the future. Highly recommend.

Thank you to Dreamscape Media and Netgalley for an audio ARC in exchange for an honest review

[Sharondblk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not much of a blurb reader, so all I knew about this audio-book going in was pretty much what it said on the tagline. I knew I was in the mood for a memoir, and this one was read by the author, which is my favourite way to experience memoir. Like me, Samantha Ellis is a first generation Jew. Unlike me her family are Iraqi, from a very different lineage than mine. I learnt so much about a history she fears has been erased (well, I knew nothing about it) as well as her personal journey of learning and acceptance. This book focusses more on culture than language and references a whole other books, novels and resources that talk about preserving culture. Samantha's personal journey, mainly due to the birth of her son, is set within a broader cultural context. I found this book well read, interesting and educational all at once.

The audiobook does contain recipes, which would make more sense in a physical book, but they sound delicious and I know I wouldn't cook them anyway.

Thanks to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for the free review copy.

[Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was exceptional. It’s a beautiful exploration into living in a diasporic community, and the conflict between honoring where you came from and still looking with hope toward the future. So good.

[LAErin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars … a revealing, moving memoir

[Branson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really, really tried to like this book. It definitely didn't read like a memoir to me, and I had a really hard time following what she was trying to communicate. I actually want to give it 1 star but I will stick with 2 because I did appreciate the opportunity to consider a part of the world and parts of history that I am less familiar with. I think this is also why I was so disappointed... I really, really wanted to get a sense of what that culture is but instead got a lot of disparate history lessons and the overall feeling that there wasn't a strong identity to grab hold of. I will consider reading some of the other books she mentioned and see if that helps.

[Edie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always Carry Salt is a beautiful memoir about language and food and history. It is intellectually fascinating and emotionally moving - the best combo! As someone deeply interested in language and identity, I eagerly consumed Samantha Ellis' stories about her Iraqi Jewish family. I often find myself reading books in conversation with each other and it just so happened that while I was reading Always Carry Salt, I was also reading Chenxing Han's one long listening. Both authors grapple with identity - being children of immigrants they share the perplexity of having a heart language which they don't speak easily. Living in two cultures, translating between the two for others and themselves, is confusing. I also was born in a country my parents were not from but ended up returning to my parents' homeland when my father got very ill while I was in high school. I could have been like these authors and so, unsurprisingly, found their stories particularly interesting. Samantha Ellis does an excellent job narrating her own story - since language plays such a central role, it was lovely to hear her speak. Thank you to Ellis, Dreamscape Media, and Netgalley for the audioARC.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many Jews are familiar with stories of diaspora, which may evoke biblical narratives, Eastern European pogroms, or the Holocaust. While these significant events are crucial to understanding Jewish history, they do not encompass the entire narrative of Jewish displacement.

"Always Carry Salt" offers a heartfelt introduction to exploring the displacement of ethnic groups in the Middle East through personal stories and firsthand experiences. Instead of relying on impersonal statistics and broad generalizations, it invites us into intimate moments.

Samantha Ellis, the daughter of Iraqi-Jewish refugees and author of "How to be a Heroine" and "Take Courage," shares an inspiring memoir rooted in resilience. Her story celebrates the healing power of music, stories, and recipes lovingly passed down through generations.

Growing up immersed in the sounds of Judeo-Iraqi Arabic, Samantha confronts the sadness of seeing her mother tongue slowly fade away. The thought of not being able to share phrases like "living in the days of the aubergines" or "chopping onions on my heart" with her son sparks deep questions. How can she honor her heritage without passing on the pain of displacement? Will her son cherish the flavors of mango pickle?

In her journey to find answers, Samantha experiences a rich tapestry of moments—from the lively energy of Noah’s Ark to the peaceful quiet of the British Museum, and from the Oxford School of Rare Jewish Languages to the gentle banks of the River Tigris. As she reflects on what we might lose and what we hold onto, she also considers what we need to let go of to keep our culture and identity alive, truly.

"Always Carry Salt" is a touching meditation on the words and traditions that shape us and on the choices we make about what to carry forward.

[Charlotte ✨ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you so much to NetGalley, Dreamscape Media and Samantha Ellis for this eARC in exchange for an honest review!

‘Always Carry Salt’ is an earnest memoir about Samantha, who describes herself as a second generation Jew living in London and trying to rediscover her heritage. This book is her search for preserving a rapidly disappearing culture and language.

Samantha fears that her language - Judeo Iraqi Arabic, is on the verge of extinction and I really enjoyed reading about how she was not only trying to find herself in order to feel a connection to her lineage, but how she also often referred to her son throughout and how it affected her that he wouldn’t be able to learn any of this if she didn’t.

I did feel that this was a beautiful story but I personally feel that it could have been organised in a different way to keep the flow more consistent. However, the sections that appeared in the book covered very important details such as politics, history and culture through various means such as cooking.

I was particularly struck by the quote, “we are not what we keep, but what we lost”. It felt so heartbreaking to read a piece of such troublesome real life that the Western media wouldn’t ordinarily cover. It was a privilege to be shown by Samantha how in our World, we have lost so many languages and cultures for the sake of highlighting main languages for the ease of communication.

The preservation of different traditions and values is so important and definitely something that should be looked at in more depth. I thank Samantha for sharing this deeply personal memoir with us.

[Kuu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ALC!

I'm a little disappointed because I expected more on language and less of a general history of the Iraqi Jewish diaspora. It was very interesting and insightful, definitely an important story to be told, but from reading the blurb, I was thinking this would be about language preservation, heritage languages and those issues, so I was kind of sad to find that the matter of language does not feature as prominently as it sounded like it would.

Still, I enjoyed this audiobook, though I would recommend to read this, rather than listening, as there are many recipes that are difficult to note down otherwise. Maybe if there could be a website where you can access all the recipes, that would be great, as the author did an amazing job at narrating her story, but recipes just don't really work as audio only.

I definitely recommend this book, as it is a very well-written memoir about Iraqi Jewish identity. Just don't expect too much language discussions in here! It really is an Iraqi Jewish memoir, not a "language loss" memoir.

[Milena]

I picked up Always Carry Salt because I wanted to learn about Iraqi Jewish culture and history, a topic I know little about and have not seen many books on. The story of the Jewish people, including Iraqi Jews, is the story of persecution, exile, resilience, and survival. I think it’s an important part of history to be educated on. I don’t read a lot of nonfiction, so I struggled with some aspects of the book but really enjoyed others. I enjoyed the parts where the author was sharing stories of her family’s life in Baghdad, their journey from Iraq to England, and the overall history and customs of Iraqi Jews.

The author included a huge number of direct quotes from other books and sources by different authors. This is the part I struggled with. It was dry, and I found it a little boring, like reading a scientific paper with a long bibliography. It took me a while to finish Always Carry Salt because of that, but I am glad I read it!

*ARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss

[Farah Mendlesohn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is just such a lovely book. I learned so much, fascinating, uplifting, upsetting, about Iraqi Jews. Like a lot of Ashkenazi, my history is shallow. It's only in recent years I've learned about the deep and joyful history of Middle Eastern Jewry (and how it all came crashing down).

Ellis explores the pain of being cut off from culture and from place (Iraqi Jews were expelled en masse, after thousands of years of habitation, and they aren't permitted back); the difficulties of losing language, and connections. The tense relationship with Ashkenazi dominance in London, and in Israel.

Note that the book is not Zionist, and Ellis has some pretty revealing material about the role of the Israeli goverment before and during the expulsion.

I may come back and add to this review as I listened to it on audio and have now bought the book.

[Marty Pirri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was really interesting, and I discovered information that I did not know before — things that are truly rare to find. The topics are now more relevant than ever, and the story of Iraqi Judeo-Arabic is something seldom mentioned or explored. As a translator myself, I really enjoyed discovering this new language and learning more about this community.
I found the parts where the author describes her feelings about the future of her community and language — and the hope her son represents — very touching and emotional. The sections that work best are those in which the author reflects on the feeling of belonging, the concept of fusion, and the importance of having roots. Stylistically, I appreciate the author’s writing and find it very effective.

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a lovely memoir with a hard focus on folklore that I absolutely loved. Ellis mourns the loss of her family's culture while stepping into the role of an elder for her son, who may never even internalize what little she herself has been able to internalize. This memoir is a reminder that homogeneity is traumatic and cruel. The loss of culture and identity is never pleasant even if sometimes--rarely--it is rewarding. I loved learning some of the history of Iraq and Iraqi Jews. It was eye opening to learn about the tensions within the Jewish community, even as Jews have struggled to find validation as a minority group.

[Kayleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the subject of the book- ideas on maintaining culture, language, and tradition, particularly in a judeo-iraqi sense, in a time where it feels to be dying out for the author. She speaks of wanting to make sure her son was able to identify with her culture and how to preserve that for him in a way that felt like I could have said it myself.
The flow of the book was a bit all over the place but it sort of felt like a kitchen table conversation. You could follow it, but it took some effort.

Overall, this was a really kind read.

[Marcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ellis is a British dramatist of Iraqi-Jewish descent. When she has a child she realised that she knew very little about her heritage, language and culture. She feels that her knowledge of the Judeo-Iraqi Arabic is virtually non-existent. As the child of refugees Ellis suffers from generational trauma. This book is an attempt to discover her roots, learn about her culture and integrate this heritage into her life. There are many discussions of traditional food as well as the history of Iraq and the Iraqi Jewish community. Loved this book.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I was going to read about a dying language (Judeo-Iraqi Arabic), and I did. But the author took off on tangents of cooking, parenting, Noah and the ark, speaking styles, history of Jewish expulsions, book recommendations, etc. And I loved it! Her conversational style was relatable, and the tangents yielded interesting information. It was a growth memoir, learning to live with loss, and I was glad to listen and learn.

[Katy Wheatley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of Samantha Ellis' search for her family's past, not only in the stories that she collects but also her search to learn and bolster the language of the Iraqi Jewish people she is descended from. This is a devastating read of a search for both inner peace and an outward sense of what home feels like in the mouth as well as geographically speaking.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was really beautiful. Non-fiction with heart!
She effortlessly weaves personal family lore with a deeply researched history of Iraqi Jews, Jewish languages, antisemitism, Jewish cooking and the list goes on.
I'm only docking a star because I found her bracketed asides and jokes a little bit jarring at times, but that's really a me problem!

[Abigail · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked lots in this book and find the Judeo-Iraqi culture interesting after reading Avi Shlaim's memoir. The history and descriptions of food and language were really good (my mouth watering at the recipes!), but I did find the author to be overly sensitive at times and her anxiety was a bit much for me.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful! I want everyone to read this book and learn about my heritage!
Beyond that, the writing is sublime, beautiful, and filling.
There are recipes interspersed throughout the book, so you will need to read the book to find them, rather than just looking at the back index. I can vouch for their authenticity as they are similar to my own family's recipes!

[Bozhena Levine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Dreamscape Media and NetGalley for the advanced electronic audio review copy of this book. This was a beautiful story; thought provoking, relatable, very complex as the author is trying to make connections between culture, language, food, and identity. Looking forward to trying some of the recipes.

This is a review of the audiobook.

[EVELYN TURNER · Rating 5 out of 5]

The way you frame Judeo-Iraqi Arabic as something living, fragile, and deeply intimate is incredibly moving. The phrases you share, so vivid, so rooted in place and feeling, carry far more than meaning; they carry history. Your reflections on what it means to pass on culture without passing on trauma feel especially resonant, and profoundly timely.

[Carole Mouallem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Memories I Grew Up With

Her stories are my stories. Grew up with the language and the culture. I can't speak the language but understand it, and know words. Wonderful book for anyone who want to understand how to hold on to their culture when they are not there like their ancestors.

[Lesleyts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aspects of the book are sadly very topical at the moment with the conflict in the Middle East and Ukraine but her quest to keep her language alive, share the cultural history and see it progress is a fascinating one. Really enjoyed the book and will try some of the recipes

[Kathrin Peters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Based on a lot of research as well as life experience, this is an interesting and thought-provoking book. I feel it could have done with a good edit to bring out the compelling narrative more clearly.