What the hell did I just read?? And how did I get here....
Truth be told, I don't remember where I saw this book or if I got a recommendation, but boy, do I ever wish I hadn't. For one, this was way too short. You can't write a book like this and make it under a hundred pages. That is a hill I will die on.
So the author gives a sort of prequel chapter in which he explains everything, which felt stupid at the time, but I know now is because he wasn't going to put any effort into world-building or writing an actual story. And even with that preface, none of it made sense. So the government created a virus that makes most people infertile. Why? Who knows, governmenty stuff. It gets released, but the explanation behind that is vague. The government hadn't yet found a way to reverse the infertility, so after the release - the period in which this story is set - they are frantically trying to create a cure. The resistance also wants to reverse it. What resistance, you ask? I have no idea. Who are they, why do they exist, and why is their agenda different from the government's? Who knows, rebel stuff. The resistance has to keep moving their makeshift lab as they try to find a cure, because the government will stop them, which is also not explained, and really needs to be. You both want to reverse the fertility issue. You fight with each other instead of working together. Right, makes total sense.
Then the actual story starts. Chloe, one of the FMC's, is thinking to herself how unfortunate it is that she and her wife have had to put over a half million dollars into IVF, but they will keep trying because they really want a baby. And then they go for their clinic visit, and it's revealed that the government is forcing all fertile women to try to get pregnant, by any means necessary, and Chloe would have to do this even if she doesn't want a baby. So why does it cost so much? If the government is forcing you into IVF, what are you paying for? Also, why have you put in so much money when, apparently, they have found a way to force an embryo to immediately implant into the uterus, allowing them to speed up the fertilizing process? Apparently, this process allows them to know it will be more likely to stick, too. So...wouldn't you have already been pregnant at least once? Were you trying for a baby before this thing was released, maybe? Nah, no explanation there, either. And there is no suspense or sense of urgency with it. She is just immediately pregnant and the only waiting period is to make sure she makes it past the first trimester. Whatever.
Still in the first chapter, still in the clinic, they are led into the room where the implantation will happen, by 'who I can only assume is a nurse.' Wait, you've been coming here for how long and you don't know who the nurses are? I would think you'd know them all by name! That isn't the most egregious thing, but it is one of the indicators that this is their first time here. Again, I wonder why the IVF story to start us off if they have never been to the clinic before? Which is it? The guard doesn't want to let them in, because he's homophobic, basically. So he's never seen them before, either. Everyone in the waiting room is homophobic. All of the workers are homophobic. And I am talking openly, loudly, verbally homophobic. As a queer person, this isn't how homophobia works. Maybe once or twice in your life, in certain circumstances, you might be spoken to this way. But queer people do not walk around every day with a scarlet letter that causes all other people to scream at them, so I do not know what the point of this was. And multiple people imply or outright say that her body is a waste because she married a woman, but she is literally in your fertility clinic to get pregnant! How can she be a waste? I get if a woman refuses fertility treatments, sure. I've heard conservatives in the real world call child-free women wastes of space and worse. Not okay, but it happens. But these fictional characters are actively trying to reproduce, and all other characters are yelling at them like being gay means being barren. I'm not sure if the author was just trying to cram homophobia in here, or what.
Okay, this isn't a book review video, so I cannot go off like I really want to. Let's talk about some of the stupid little bits that made no sense. These two get home from their fertility appointment. Chloe's wife, Maisie, is mad about their treatment, about the doctor who basically said he would rape her to get her pregnant, etc. Fair. But then, to describe her anger, Chloe's POV says, 'She had stepped out of her emotions, and the Angel of Death crawled out to play. And I relished in it.' What the fuck does that mean?? If she's outside her emotions, is she not angry anymore? If she's the Angel of Death, does that mean she had murderous tendencies? But no, they just...go to bed. Just like a normal, non-murdery couple.
Maisie has a nightmare. She is screaming in her sleep. "Fuck me like a little fucking sex toy, you fucking monster! I asked for this, and I deserve it! Use me and fill me with your load!" Chloe manages to wake her, and Maisie explains that in her dream, the fertility doctor convinced Chloe the only way she could get pregnant was to let him and all 29 of their donors 'breed her' while Maisie watched and that female assistant helped. Am I going crazy? Did I have a stroke while reading that? Because to me, that makes no sense. If you were having a nightmare about your partner getting raped, why would you be yelling about YOU getting fucked, and no less, sounding eager for it? I genuinely just do not get any of this. I only finished the story because it was so damn short.
The end is just as stupid and nonsensical. They have to go back to the clinic a few months later to make sure the pregnancy is healthy. They come up with a 'brilliant' plan in this time to get revenge on the doctor and not get caught for assault. But assault becomes murder with gratuitous violence, and they just decide to run away and join the resistance. They slit the doctor's throat, which he somehow struggles to live through long enough for them to taunt him and sodomize him. Sure, Jan. They kill the assistant, too, because I guess this clinic lets the donors rape women to get them pregnant, and she helps? And the male author writes this woman as 'cleavage on display for the men'. Because of course he did. Women's cleavage isn't for themselves and what they wear isn't for themselves! Everyone knows this! Women only have bodies and only reveal said bodies for men!
Oh my gosh, the misogyny. No one should be banned from writing, but some people should be banned from publishing.
P.S. *whispers behind hand* Also, why is a straight man writing a sapphic couple? Just...why?