At first, I had mixed feelings for this book but it got so good at the last 30% that I rounded up the review rating. Per usual, thank you to May and Ope for dragging me into this buddy read just to finish this book since we read Imprisoned….
The MC, Xu Ze is an orphan student working odd jobs including in an illegal boxing ring to pay off his grandmother's hospice bills. Xu Ze also goes to the same prep school as the MC, Lu Heyang (LHY) given that they are S-level Alphas. Lu Heyang starts to take an interest in Xu Ze (XZ) when he finds out that he boxed in that illegal boxing ring not knowing that Xu Ze always had an interest in him at the start (they shared a childhood past where they met as children but LHY does not remember this. Over time, their relationship slowly progresses but things get complicated due to LHY’s family status as he is from a powerful and fractured family with a controlling father and XZ pulling out from the boxing ring, angering the crime boss in charge of those operations. Thus, this brings the book to one heck of a climax where they parted only to meet again 7 years later when XZ is a doctor working on his doctorate in a military hospital and LHY is a colonel and is assigned to be temporary in charge of an air force base near XZ’s hospital.
While the high school arc paves the way for the relationship and also shed light to a traumatic past that binds them together, I love the adult arc a little more and I’ll provide my reasoning through this review. The relationship between XZ and LHY progresses very naturally from school mates to friends to lovers…however, because of the XZ’s insecurity and self sacrificial tendencies, it felt like he was always catering to LHY where as long as LHY is happy, he will be happy regardless of all the suffering he faces and he also never ask from help and prefer to resolve everything on his own…Despite this, I do admire XZ as a person.
Despite their ambiguous relationship to start, LHY has never treated XZ as less and is in fact very gentle and sweet with him. The way he protects XZ just shows how much he cares for XZ despite XZ claiming otherwise. I also love how despite everything, he still falls in love with XZ again (3 times!!!) Their relationship is sweet and cute to read during the prelude middle chapters and also in the adult phase! The yearning, the subtle actions without words and the persistence of the characters were on point.
That last arc though…was a bit too unbelievable. Especially with the way they parted…I think the author thinks we as readers are clearly stupid. My other issue is his character feels very omega-like as opposed to alpha-like during the high school era - the pining, the yearning, the self sacrificial tendencies and the inferiority moments playing with the pure boy archetype just a bit too much. The adult arc still had some of these tendencies but I found XZ more proactive in fighting for what he wants instead of just letting things come his way.
Oh, even though they are both alphas where there should be a forbidden aspect to it…it felt like this was overcome easily with the help of the wristbands and the LHY’s status. (Like I SAID THIS IS SO OMEGA-like) likeeee what’s the point of pheromonessss when you are barely using itttt!!!
Overall, I did enjoy the read despite its cliche plot. I also feel like the author really throws us a lot of trope-y moments and this wasn’t really needed! The translations for this one was amazing (kudos to the translator) and the fanart for this book is SOOO PRETTY!!!
📚 : eternities still unsaid till you love me 欲言难止 ⭐️ : 5.0
this novel is yearning-heavy in the quietest, most devastating way possible. xu ze is yearning incarnate, the kind that’s loud even in silence. you would constantly want xu ze to be more honest with himself, to stop thinking so lowly of his own worth, because he deserves so much more than what he allows himself to believe. god... the way he loves is so big it deserves to be seen.
lu heyang is genuinely one of the best gongs out there. he’s attentive, steady, and always looking for ways to lessen the burden xu ze is carrying — usually from the shadows, because he knows xu ze doesn’t like receiving help. that detail alone says so much about how deeply he understands him. his love isn’t loud, but it’s steady and intentional, and it shows.
what i loved most is that they were equally into each other. no imbalance, no one-sided devotion... just two people loving each other in the ways they know how.
i went in expecting heavy angst, and while it didn’t completely destroy me, it still hurts. maybe it’s because the timeskip softened the blow and the separation wasn’t overly drawn out, but that restraint honestly works in the novel’s favor. xu ze’s situation stays with you long after you finish reading. the idea of him always waiting, believing he’s waiting for nothing, not knowing where that waiting will lead… it creates this quiet, constant ache in your chest. it’s the kind of angst that doesn’t overwhelm you, but instead settles in slowly and leaves this quiet clench in your heart that doesn’t go away.
the core of this novel is honestly the weight of wanting to say everything, but having said nothing. that’s where the angst lives. it’s always there, lingering beneath every interaction.
overall, i loved this novel so much. i love xu ze, and i love lu heyang. after everything they went through, all the waiting, the unsaid words, and the quiet sacrifices, they truly deserve the best the world has to offer. love how the ending gave them justice in the most reassuring way, honoring both their pain and their patience. it was earned, gentle, and sincere it felt like the novel finally lets them rest.
riyl : alpha x alpha, quiet yearning, emotionally restrained angst, mutual pining, gongs who love through actions not words, characters who wait too long to say what they mean, and stories that hurt gently but persistently.