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America's Boy: A Memoir
"A revelatory story about acceptance, pride, and the many ways even a seemingly prejudiced family can surprise us" by the bestselling author of Magic Season (The Washington Post).
Indie Next List "Great Read" Selection
American Library Association's Inaugural "Rainbow List" Selection
In this memoir, writer and journalist Wade Rouse delivers a humorous and heartwarming account of his Midwestern childhood and coming of age as a gay man.
Born in Granby, a small farm town in the southwest Missouri Ozarks, Wade was a fish out of water as long as he could remember—or at least since he participated in his family's mock Miss America pageant when he was just five years old, clad in his grandmother's red "whore" heels and his mother's black-and-white polka-dot bikini.
Life didn't get easier in Wade's conservative hometown, especially after his older brother died just a month after Wade graduated junior high school. It was then that Wade buried his brother—and his sexuality, so his parents wouldn't mourn the loss of a second son. Finally, after years of a descent into obsessive-compulsive behaviors and overeating, Wade was able to come out to himself, losing weight and gaining confidence until he had nothing left to hide.
Filled with memories of happiness and heartbreak, America's Boy is both "a quirky tribute to [Rouse's] rural Ozark family, and an easily digestible, homespun tale of a bygone era in Middle America" (Time Out Chicago).
"A storyteller and a memoirist in the best sense of the words. . . . Reading Rouse's memoir is more like sitting with a good friend and a cold beer, trading stories and remembering those things that may have been painful or tragic at the time, but must now be respected for what they are." —Metro Weekly
Indie Next List "Great Read" Selection
American Library Association's Inaugural "Rainbow List" Selection
In this memoir, writer and journalist Wade Rouse delivers a humorous and heartwarming account of his Midwestern childhood and coming of age as a gay man.
Born in Granby, a small farm town in the southwest Missouri Ozarks, Wade was a fish out of water as long as he could remember—or at least since he participated in his family's mock Miss America pageant when he was just five years old, clad in his grandmother's red "whore" heels and his mother's black-and-white polka-dot bikini.
Life didn't get easier in Wade's conservative hometown, especially after his older brother died just a month after Wade graduated junior high school. It was then that Wade buried his brother—and his sexuality, so his parents wouldn't mourn the loss of a second son. Finally, after years of a descent into obsessive-compulsive behaviors and overeating, Wade was able to come out to himself, losing weight and gaining confidence until he had nothing left to hide.
Filled with memories of happiness and heartbreak, America's Boy is both "a quirky tribute to [Rouse's] rural Ozark family, and an easily digestible, homespun tale of a bygone era in Middle America" (Time Out Chicago).
"A storyteller and a memoirist in the best sense of the words. . . . Reading Rouse's memoir is more like sitting with a good friend and a cold beer, trading stories and remembering those things that may have been painful or tragic at the time, but must now be respected for what they are." —Metro Weekly
348 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 6, 2006
17 people are currently reading
737 people want to read
About the author
Wade Rouse
14 books234 followersWADE ROUSE is the critically acclaimed author ofthe memoirs America’s Boy, Confessions of a Prep School Mommy Handler, and At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream and editor of the upcoming humorous dog anthology I’m Not the Biggest Bitch in This Relationship!He is a humor columnist for Metrosource magazine. Rouse lives outside Saugatuck, Michigan, with his partner, Gary, and their mutts, Marge and Mabel.
(source: Amazon)
(source: Amazon)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
September 20, 2012
Another boy memoir but this time, the author is about my age (he was born in 1965, so I am just a year older than him). I bought this book last week in a sale at Powerbooks Megamall. Tata J gave me the book THE INVISIBLE WALL by Henry Bernstein with high recommendations as he knows I liked ANGELA'S ASHES by the late Frank McCourt. When I saw the cover of this book with the word "A Memoir" so I put it in my basket together with another boy memoir on WWII, a book about Shiloh sisters, and a couple of other bargain books. The trick was to bring all the books you want to the cashier because they had this promo of buy one 70% off book and get one 80% off book. This book had no match as it was my last priority and it was the 70% off so I told the cashier to put it aside and I would go back later in the afternoon to pick more books but this would then become my first priority. So, I did that and brought the book home.
The following day was a Friday and we were planning to go to our other house in the province to spend the long weekend. As I had already started reading Bernstein, THE INVISIBLE WALL got into my bag first. Then I realized that I could finish it in just a day because Tata J said that he read Berstein in just one sitting (I already spent a night reading it so Tata J is the faster reader, no questions asked). So, when I saw this book, I put it in the bag too saying to myself, why not read another boy memoir one after the other?
To my surprise, the book is about a gay boy and his coming of age to become a gay young man. I have absolutely nothing against gays but I don't like gays pretending to be straight men. However, this book changed my views on them. The story of Wade Rouse is very down-to-earth and if you can just go beyond thinking that gays are abnormal, you will also like this book. The story, first and foremost is about an extended family. Rouse went in great detail how he grew up and learned from each member of his family: from his funny and caring four grandparents, his loving father, sweet nervous-speaking nurse mother and his only brother, Todd. He was never abused unlike what most homosexuals would claim. His father was not distant and his mother was not overimposing. He seemed to have been born as homo and he knew it from the time he was secretly going to his parents' bedroom to wear his mother's jewelry. He kept his condition a secret until when he was in his early 30's and his grandparents were starting to die one after the other.
The storytelling is similar to David Sedaris'. The book is composed of several anecdotes arranged chronologically. There are some downright funny ones and there are some that are heartwarming ones to which I could relate to. There are a couple of parts where he narrated his first homosexual experiences which some readers might find offensive. My favorite, because it I held back my tears, was the death scene of his Grandpa Rouse when the dying man was telling his lover to take care of his (grand) son despite just knowing that the later is gay.
Nice one, Rouse.
The following day was a Friday and we were planning to go to our other house in the province to spend the long weekend. As I had already started reading Bernstein, THE INVISIBLE WALL got into my bag first. Then I realized that I could finish it in just a day because Tata J said that he read Berstein in just one sitting (I already spent a night reading it so Tata J is the faster reader, no questions asked). So, when I saw this book, I put it in the bag too saying to myself, why not read another boy memoir one after the other?
To my surprise, the book is about a gay boy and his coming of age to become a gay young man. I have absolutely nothing against gays but I don't like gays pretending to be straight men. However, this book changed my views on them. The story of Wade Rouse is very down-to-earth and if you can just go beyond thinking that gays are abnormal, you will also like this book. The story, first and foremost is about an extended family. Rouse went in great detail how he grew up and learned from each member of his family: from his funny and caring four grandparents, his loving father, sweet nervous-speaking nurse mother and his only brother, Todd. He was never abused unlike what most homosexuals would claim. His father was not distant and his mother was not overimposing. He seemed to have been born as homo and he knew it from the time he was secretly going to his parents' bedroom to wear his mother's jewelry. He kept his condition a secret until when he was in his early 30's and his grandparents were starting to die one after the other.
The storytelling is similar to David Sedaris'. The book is composed of several anecdotes arranged chronologically. There are some downright funny ones and there are some that are heartwarming ones to which I could relate to. There are a couple of parts where he narrated his first homosexual experiences which some readers might find offensive. My favorite, because it I held back my tears, was the death scene of his Grandpa Rouse when the dying man was telling his lover to take care of his (grand) son despite just knowing that the later is gay.
Nice one, Rouse.
October 30, 2021
I read this a few years ago, and wrote a review here on Goodreads. But for some reason my review is gone, and there's no showing that I read this book. But I know I loved it at the time!
March 28, 2009
I've read a lot of coming-of-age, coming to terms with being gay/adolescence time-period books and memoirs, and I have to say this is by far my absolute favorite. This isn't a book just for gay people; this is simply a great book - period. It has some heartbreaking moments, and Wade's childhood certainly had some very low points. And like anyone else that's gay, it engenders that struggle that we all face. But it is a portrait of humanity more than anything else, and it is a novel we can all relate to. Anyone that has ever felt different, dealt with a trauma in their family, has a crazy family - whatever the issue, this memoir is just so moving that it would be amazing to me if most people cannot connect with it. One word of advice - if you can avoid reading the back cover of this book before you read it, DON'T. It actually has a very big spoiler on it, and I would have rather not known. It won't ruin the book, but I like to let things unfold. I absolutely loved this book, I loaned it to several people and they all felt just as moved. And yet it is completely hilarious as well, and a very uplifting memoir in the end.
October 31, 2013
I really enjoyed this memoir about family and the struggles of coming out of the closet. I'm starting to like reading Rouse even more than Sedaris. They both have poignant moments and surprising humor, but I feel like Rouse lets the reader get close to him. As you read, you feel like you were really there- not just observing or watching the film in your mind. There are heart breaking moments and soul expanding memories. I recommend this for people who enjoy Dave Sedaris (similar authors but without the rampant drug use).
June 24, 2011
I went to college with Wade. It was a great insight into the life of this college chum and how difficult it is to grow up gay in rural Missouri. I am glad that Wade has been able to find himself and happiness.
November 11, 2008
Wasn't sure at the outset that I'd be able to get into this book - I was wrong! Sure, there are several less-than-happy moments, but almost no self pity. Defintely recommended.
February 9, 2022
This is Wade Rouse’s first book. It’s the story of his
life from childhood to adulthood. I loved meeting his family members through the years & his relationships with all of them. I have read & enjoyed many of his books & also those written under his pen name, Viola Shipman, his grandmother.
life from childhood to adulthood. I loved meeting his family members through the years & his relationships with all of them. I have read & enjoyed many of his books & also those written under his pen name, Viola Shipman, his grandmother.
July 26, 2025
Wade’s, American Boy A Memoir, was a 4 1/2 star read for me! He poured it all on the pages. The heartaches, losses, struggles, love, and beauty of his life and family in an openly raw, honest, heartfelt and real way that makes you love and appreciate him more. I laughed and I cried, but mostly I just cared and admired.
November 5, 2018
It was cute. I enjoyed all his books.
November 23, 2009
I absolutely loved reading this memoir. Wade Rouse mixes humor, honesty, intelligence and compassion to look back on his life, growing up as a loner and a young man who used food to dull any sadness in his life. A sensitive and keen observer he describes growing up in the Ozarks knowing he "was different" but never admitting he was gay til much later. In the memories that make up his life he describes his family and how the loss of his brother changed them all. I thought this book was amazing andbeautiful.
March 7, 2008
this book was hilarious! this author is so funny, it made me want to read everyting he ever wrote.
January 28, 2011
Wade Rouse is one of the best and funniest writers America has these days. He is very relatable. And when you get done with his book you feel like you know his whole family.
June 2, 2012
Great book!
June 7, 2025
Wade! I found one of your books called The Summer Cottage in a small free book library in my home town! I read it & fell in love with your writing. At the time I didn’t know you were a man. Or a gay man or that you used your grandma’s name as your pen name! I started looking up more of your books & started following you on social media. I have read your emails where I read some of your story. I pre ordered The Page Tuner. You are currently on your book tour. I saw your plea, asking your fans to read your Memoir, so people could keep reading your story in hopes that it could help others. I will admit that is the first time I have ever read a gay book. I have made it a goal this year to read more books about people & experiences. I am straight married woman but oh my heart! This opened my eyes. I can’t imagine but I try to. Thank you for being brave & strong & becoming your true self! Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like I could just give you & Gary a hug right now! I hope to meet you next Saturday in person! I can’t wait to read more of your books ( you sure write amazing small town romance books! )!
August 11, 2025
It’s all heart. Heart-breaking. Heart-warming. Heart-felt. AMERICA’S BOY, a memoir by Wade Rouse, reads like an Erma Bombeck column or a Fannie Flagg novel. It’s his first published book (back in 2006) and he really found his footing in telling small-town, charming stories.
He structures his memoir in small, bite-sized vignettes, introducing his much-loved Ozark grandmothers, his mother and father, his Aunt Blanche (what a hoot) and, most importantly, his brother. When he died right after high-school graduation, Wade’s already upside-down life went sideways.
Through it all, he closeted his gayness. Along with his joy. His self-acceptance. And his hope.
He got lost. But he found himself.
AMERICA’S BOY is an easy-breezy read with some heavy-duty trauma. Experiencing the sad stuff never outweighs the bust-out-loud funny stuff that will make you put the book down and wipe your eyes.
He turns out just fine. He’s been in a decades-long, loving relationship. He’s become a bestselling author. And the family heirlooms he’s saved continue to feed his soul and sparked plotlines for his novels.
He structures his memoir in small, bite-sized vignettes, introducing his much-loved Ozark grandmothers, his mother and father, his Aunt Blanche (what a hoot) and, most importantly, his brother. When he died right after high-school graduation, Wade’s already upside-down life went sideways.
Through it all, he closeted his gayness. Along with his joy. His self-acceptance. And his hope.
He got lost. But he found himself.
AMERICA’S BOY is an easy-breezy read with some heavy-duty trauma. Experiencing the sad stuff never outweighs the bust-out-loud funny stuff that will make you put the book down and wipe your eyes.
He turns out just fine. He’s been in a decades-long, loving relationship. He’s become a bestselling author. And the family heirlooms he’s saved continue to feed his soul and sparked plotlines for his novels.
July 10, 2020
Tough to be gay in Missouri. Wade grew up knowing he liked boys, not girls, but his family and culture did not approve of that. Instead he became fat. It's a story of surviving childhood, his brother's death and moving on until he can finally acknowledge to both himself and the world (and his family) that he is gay.
Wade not only can tell an interesting story but his descriptions of people, things and his own emotions are right on and allow us to travel with him. I have one of his fiction books to read, written under his pen name (his grandmother's name), and am looking forward to reading it.
Wade not only can tell an interesting story but his descriptions of people, things and his own emotions are right on and allow us to travel with him. I have one of his fiction books to read, written under his pen name (his grandmother's name), and am looking forward to reading it.
April 1, 2021
A wonderful memoir. Wade and everyone in his family knew that Wade was "different". He liked wearing his Mother's jewelry and dressing up in her clothes. He like to dress up meticulously and feather his hair just perfectly. Although his family accepted him and he has wonderful memories of his summer's at the cabin on the creek, his Grandfather's always tried to make him fit in. They gave him a buzz cut, took him rabbit and frog hunting, which usually turned into a humorous disaster. His solace was food. He was lovable, funny witty, and the life of the party in college. He didn't formally "come out of the closet" until he was in his 30s.
July 23, 2025
Heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.
I have read every book Wade has written. This was the only one I hadn't read. Its interesting reading about my favorite authors life. I've met him numerous times and some things in this book I would have never even guessed. He has been through so much. I'm so glad he has Gary and his wonderful friends in his life. Wade, you are a treasure.
I have read every book Wade has written. This was the only one I hadn't read. Its interesting reading about my favorite authors life. I've met him numerous times and some things in this book I would have never even guessed. He has been through so much. I'm so glad he has Gary and his wonderful friends in his life. Wade, you are a treasure.
March 3, 2019
I read this after knowing Wade for quite some time, and I absolutely admire the courage and strength it took him to truly live his best self through the challenges, and then write about it so elequently!
June 2, 2025
This is Wade’s first book that he wrote. I’ve never read this. I’ve read several of his books written by Viola Shipman, his pen name.
This book is very personal tells of his life story, his struggles with who he is his weight and not wanting to disappoint his family being gay
This book is very personal tells of his life story, his struggles with who he is his weight and not wanting to disappoint his family being gay
July 23, 2025
Few books have moved me as much
Whether a Southern boy like Wade, a New England native, or a West Coast gayling, Wade’s story of self-acceptance and familial love will leave you happily sobbing.
Whether a Southern boy like Wade, a New England native, or a West Coast gayling, Wade’s story of self-acceptance and familial love will leave you happily sobbing.
September 3, 2025
I have met Wade & his husband Gary twice and have become a big fan! I had no idea that Wade, prior to his Viola Shipman pen name had several memoirs. This made me laugh out loud and cry. Loved it, will continue on with the rest of his works and all his Viola Shipman novels.
July 31, 2020
Reading through someone's pain can be difficult, but worthwhile
May 31, 2024
I loved this book. He is such a gifted writer. It brought tears to my eyes at the end.
June 22, 2025
I’m so glad you stopped running from yourself.
July 15, 2025
This book was so moving to me, and his story took me to a time and place in his life that was written so beautifully I won’t forget it.
August 3, 2025
I think every gay person should read this
October 13, 2016
This is one of the most honest memoirs I have ever read. It is a story of a boy who grows up knowing he loves boys, not girls, wants boyfriends, not girlfriends, but is desperately afraid for anyone to find out about his true self.
As he is growing up, however, it seems that his brother knows he is gay, but never really comes out and acknowledges it in a healthy way. He calls him a "fag" or "faggot" frequently, but still loves him which Wade doesn't really come to understand until years after his brother's sudden and tragic death. In fact he dedicated this book to his brother, Todd.
Wade's story is filled with a great love for his family, but a deep self-loathing that is with him up into his 30's. During his childhood he turns to food to cope with his secret attraction to boys, gay people not being accepted by society, his feelings of loneliness, his desire for a healthy relationship with a man, and his fears of coming out to his family and friends to reveal who he really is.
After several hurtful encounters with gay men, he deals with his weight problem, becomes more healthy physically, and finally meets Gary, the love of his life. Much change comes for him once he truly falls in love and decides to become honest with everyone he cares for about who he really is. After some rejection and silence from his family, he experiences loving reconciliation and their acceptance of him and his relationship with Gary.
Wade tells his story with great humor, brutal honesty, and much sensitivity as he shares the great pain that he lived with for much of his life. I enjoyed this book very much. He explains what I imagine has been many people's experience with coming to terms with their being gay, but I am sure anyone else who has struggled with being lesbian, bi-sexual, or having a desire to become the opposite gender from what they were born, would be able to identify with the feelings and struggles Wade describes. I think his story is at times heartbreaking, humorous and deeply honest.
It is definitely a good read. However, the only caution I would give is that if you have a difficult time reading descriptive sexual language, you might think twice about reading this book. However, he does it tastefully, and in the context of his story, I believe it is necessary.
As he is growing up, however, it seems that his brother knows he is gay, but never really comes out and acknowledges it in a healthy way. He calls him a "fag" or "faggot" frequently, but still loves him which Wade doesn't really come to understand until years after his brother's sudden and tragic death. In fact he dedicated this book to his brother, Todd.
Wade's story is filled with a great love for his family, but a deep self-loathing that is with him up into his 30's. During his childhood he turns to food to cope with his secret attraction to boys, gay people not being accepted by society, his feelings of loneliness, his desire for a healthy relationship with a man, and his fears of coming out to his family and friends to reveal who he really is.
After several hurtful encounters with gay men, he deals with his weight problem, becomes more healthy physically, and finally meets Gary, the love of his life. Much change comes for him once he truly falls in love and decides to become honest with everyone he cares for about who he really is. After some rejection and silence from his family, he experiences loving reconciliation and their acceptance of him and his relationship with Gary.
Wade tells his story with great humor, brutal honesty, and much sensitivity as he shares the great pain that he lived with for much of his life. I enjoyed this book very much. He explains what I imagine has been many people's experience with coming to terms with their being gay, but I am sure anyone else who has struggled with being lesbian, bi-sexual, or having a desire to become the opposite gender from what they were born, would be able to identify with the feelings and struggles Wade describes. I think his story is at times heartbreaking, humorous and deeply honest.
It is definitely a good read. However, the only caution I would give is that if you have a difficult time reading descriptive sexual language, you might think twice about reading this book. However, he does it tastefully, and in the context of his story, I believe it is necessary.
January 30, 2009
This coming-out story set in the Ozarks is quite well written, but a bit disturbing--unintentionally, I think. The author had a very hard childhood because he was "different," and one way he coped was by eating a lot. He gained a lot of weight and was a fat youth and young adult until he came out and started going to gyms and working out a lot. I was disturbed by a lot of the self-hating, anti-fat talk. Sometimes it felt as if the author still hated himself and his body, even when he was talking about the past. I wondered if he would hate himself even more if he gained the weight back now that his life is supposedly so much better. Hard for me to read past that theme. And yet I found him sympathetic, and I appreciated how he had perspective into his family's motivations, even when they weren't always supportive of him. His "family values" shine through clearly. If only his love for his parents and grandparents and brother could be translated to love for himself throughout his life, not just when he was (to himself) an acceptable size.
April 4, 2011
The story of an over-weight effeminate boy growing up in the south, Wade Rouse uses his family's cabin to loosely excavate the memories and emotions around the death of his older brother. The stories that make up America's Boy are somewhat disjointed, bouncing between too many stories with divergent paths - very few of them lead to what the reader is to believe is the crux of the story. Rather than a story about loss, this book would have been much better as a story of Wade coming into his own as the organizing event rather than the loss of a sibling. While engaging as a plot line, there was far too much disconnection across the stories.
The memoir was written - not particularly well, but not horribly either. There are moments of really clear, thoughtful writing and other spaces where it feels like Rouse is frantically working against a deadline and must get something - anything - on the page.
This is Rouse's first book and I'm hoping his writing style has evolved since this memoir because I would still like to read "In the City Someone Would Hear My Scream."
The memoir was written - not particularly well, but not horribly either. There are moments of really clear, thoughtful writing and other spaces where it feels like Rouse is frantically working against a deadline and must get something - anything - on the page.
This is Rouse's first book and I'm hoping his writing style has evolved since this memoir because I would still like to read "In the City Someone Would Hear My Scream."
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews