With Love from a Children's Therapist: #lessonsihavelearnedalongtheway

by Stacy Schaffer

230 pages, Paperback

Published April 7, 2025

Reviews

[Denise Shaver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I personally know Stacy, so I know how amazing, how kind and how dedicated she is to her clients. Reading this book, I’m learning things about Stacy that I never knew and it brings me to tears. If you are a parent or a teacher or work with kids in any capacity, read this book.

[Chuck Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, full disclosure: Stacy has been my honorary little sister ever since we adopted each other in 2017. After you read the book, you'll know why that is such a big deal for me - to be the chosen family of someone who (like all of us!) desperately needs family and community is no small gift.

This book reads like a kind and gentle chat with an experienced (and funny!) therapist, someone who has DEFINITELY learned a few things along the way. As she visits the stories of the kids who come into her practice, she shows up with such deep empathy, recognizing the unique things that make them tick. She brings this same empathy to bear on her own upbringing and past.

She recognizes something that is so easily lost: the basic humanity of even the youngest child, the inner fire to know, be known, to speak and be heard, to be valued as a whole human being in their own right, not just an offshoot or a project of their parents. This curious and kind heart helps her instantly connect with children, and hopefully with the child in you. She calls all of us to remember what it was like to be a kid or a teen, to have less understanding, to have less ability to contextulize. As a parent myself, it's a hard thing to navigate! The world is busy! There is social media everwhere! There are so many video games and cartoons and stories - how can a parent possibly keep up with it all?

Part of her secret: you don't have to follow it all. The kids will tell you what is important to THEM, if you can learn to listen. If it's important to them, it can be important to you - and offer you a window into the amazing and unique miracle that is each child. It's counter intuitive. It's hard. It's not how our s****y parents treated us. It takes work. It takes intention. And it's so so worth it.

Grab this book for yourself and for everyone in your life who may ever encounter a child. It's full of tools, ideas, and insights designed to help us be the safe adults we so desperately needed.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers comfort, validation, and encouragement for children ( past and present ) navigating big feelings in this crazy world. The author shares her personal trauma as she offers expert insight into current issues facing children today. It is a great resource for families, educators, and clinicians. Strongly recommend.

[Angela Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such beautiful stories tying patients with real life needs. Giving the reader such a great way to understand things that happened to them or going on with friends, their kids or just anyone you see. Anyone should read this, if they want to learn more about themselves from their inner children. Or even how they react and how it can change and mold your own children or other family members.

[Ivy Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book in five words is “Start listening to our kids” Okay maybe six, “Start listening to our kids PLEASE!!!”
I share this desperation for good adult listeners tenfold!!

If this isn’t the most under spoken but violently necessary message of this era, I don’t know what is. Despite inevitable inconsistencies and misunderstandings between the experience of a child or a teenager and an adult observer, I will always have immense gratitude for someone that intends (quite gracefully, in this case,) to represent the struggles and complexities that children face.

Numerous parts of this book deeply resonated with me and it is truly a fantastic first few steps for any adult (not just parents!!) on not just becoming a better adult, but a better person. The capacity and desire to communicate and understand children is perhaps the most underrated and under-discussed trait…ever?

To understand children, or at the very least try, is to understand the world in ways that the vast majority of people don’t. Children and teenagers are not only a significant part of the population, but a deeply significant part of the collective consciousness we all operate within. Adults have insights that children do not, a truth I’ve heard many times in different forms throughout my life. The other side to this (very important and very valuable) coin is that children have insights adults don’t have. Please please please start listening.

[Melissa Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book resonates for all ages. My children are grown, but I still feel like having read this book will help me in my interactions with everyone in my life. Written from both the perspective of having grown up in situations where she would have greatly benefited from therapy as a child and from someone providing that care to those that need it. Stacy shows insight on how to listen and accept those around us who may have grown up in situations we may not be aware of. This opened my eyes to think about how what I do or say may affect those around me without even realizing it. Too often these days, society is telling us how to feel, be or what to do in order to be accepted. In a chapter near the end, Stacy talks about what children want from adults. but I think every human wants those same things. We want to be seen, heard, and known for who we are and not what someone wants us to be.

[Toni Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

it was deeply raw and honest. I truly appreciated the author’s vulnerability in sharing parts of your story. It gave me validation in pieces of my own journey and challenged me—as a human—to show up differently for myself, my children, and the generations to come.

[Katie Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

With Love from a Children's Therapist by Stacy Schaffer is a compelling blend of memoir and professional insight that delves deeply into the complexities of childhood trauma and the healing process. Drawing from over two decades of experience as a licensed professional counselor, Schaffer masterfully intertwines her personal journey with the powerful stories of the children and families she’s supported.

What makes this book especially meaningful is how Schaffer builds bridges across generations. As someone who grew up in the '80s and '90s and is now raising a pre-teen/teen, I found myself resonating with her reflections and the way she connects past experiences to the challenges children face today. Her honest, heartfelt storytelling offers a profound understanding of resilience, recovery, and the enduring importance of empathy and connection.

This is not just a book for therapists—it's a valuable and affirming read for anyone navigating parenthood, healing from past wounds, or simply seeking to better understand the emotional lives of children. Excellent read!

[Erika Chambers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book completely took me by surprise in the best way. It’s one of those rare books that feels like it’s speaking directly to you as an individual. Stacy Schaffer shares her story with a raw honesty and warmth that is deeply moving. Schaffer doesn’t just offer clinical insights, she opens a window into her own life and the lives of the children she’s worked with, making it feel deeply human and incredibly authentic. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has kids, or who had a childhood. So in short, everyone.

[Savannah Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

With Love from a Children's Therapist is a beautifully written and emotionally resonant exploration of the resilience and inner world of children. Through the lens of a compassionate therapist, the book offers a poignant tapestry of real stories that remind us, again and again, that children are still children—even in the face of unimaginable trauma.

What makes this book truly special is its balance of clinical insight and heartfelt storytelling. The author does not just present case studies; she paints living portraits that speak to the innate strength, vulnerability, and beauty within every child. It’s a gentle, powerful reminder that healing is possible, that play is sacred, and that being truly seen can change a life.

This book is not only a testament to the therapeutic process, but also a call to adults—parents, educators, caregivers, and society at large—to honor the humanity in every child. It moved me deeply and left me with a renewed sense of hope.

With Love from a Children's Therapist is a must-read for anyone who works with or cares about children. It is both a mirror and a light: reflective, raw, and radiant.

[Joanne Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book expecting some thoughtful reflections on children… and instead ended up having a full-blown sit-down with my inner child like, ‘Okay, sweetheart, we’ve got some things to unpack.’ Stacy Schaffer has this rare gift of explaining the emotional world of kids in a way that suddenly makes your own childhood click into place like someone finally translated feelings you didn’t even know you were still carrying.

It was compassionate, grounding, and just the right amount of confronting. The kind where you pause, breathe, and think, ‘Wow… this would’ve been really helpful about 25 years ago,’ but hey, healing doesn’t expire. I found myself highlighting passage after passage, grateful for how gently this book invites you to understand the wounds you had no control over, and how to finally give yourself what you needed back then.

If you’re someone working through old hurts, trying to reconnect with the younger version of yourself, or simply curious about why certain things still hit so deep - this book is a gift. I’m genuinely thankful for it as an adult… and as that former kid who deserved better. Highly, highly recommend.

[Melissa Romano · Rating 5 out of 5]

With Love from a Children's Therapist is one of those rare books that manages to be laugh-out-loud witty, gut-punch real, and deeply healing—all at once. Whether you're parenting actual children or just doing the sacred work of reparenting your own inner child, Stacy offers something truly profound: permission to be human.

This book isn’t filled with fluffy advice or clinical jargon—it’s filled with truth. Stacy weaves her lived experience as a trauma survivor and her wisdom as a healer into every page, delivering the kind of lessons we all needed growing up (and still need now). You’ll feel seen. You’ll feel heard. You’ll feel understood in a way that sneaks up on you—and stays with you.

It’s relatable, refreshing, and full of tangible, heart-forward guidance. One minute you’re laughing, the next you’re tearing up (in the best possible way), and by the end, you’re walking away stronger, softer, and more equipped than when you picked it up.

If you have kids, work with kids, or were ever a kid—read this book. You won’t regret it.

[Katie Clement · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for all therapists and all human beings. Stacy weaves her own story with truths about healing, relationships, parenting, and her work as a therapist in a way that draws the reader in from start to finish. If you are in the mental health professions, whether you work with kids or adults, this book will deepen your work and bring insight into the healing process. I would also recommend this book for anyone who is on a healing journey themselves. It will bring light to your own process as you walk forward into new territory. You are not alone- and this book will help you rest into that knowledge. This book is a much needed gift to the world.

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book equal parts heartbreaking and hope cultivating. The author beautifully and delicately blends her personal story with what she’s learned about trauma and grief from her young clients. Through that, Ms. Schaffer develops a blue print for adults who want to show up for youth in the way they need adults to show up. It also offers the added benefit of validating the experiences of adults who are just now beginning to heal their own childhood trauma.

[Shannan Tanner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book reads as if you were listening to a friend gently and wisely help you understand. Understand yourself, your child, a friend; see things in a way you may not have before. Select this book and step into a guided conversation with yourself, your child, or anyone you may know who needs you to understand their story.

[Ashley Plenge · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was inspiring. The author was relatable in her vulnerability and included unique and empowering perspectives in order to help us grow alongside the next generation. I will be using much of this guidance while currently raising my two daughters. Thank you for your passion and dedication, Stacy Schaffer!

[Cindi Barry · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mom of three boys, this book was so incredibly impactful; filled with tactical support to help you navigate hard moments and be the support your kids or their friends need. Buy this book, you won’t regret it!

[Jennifer Hauser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written book from a beautiful soul. Stacy has no fear of facing all the scary things that can impact all of us, but does so with honor, humor and great wisdom. Truly inspiring to believe and hope for beauty from ashes!

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book and immediately bought 5 copies to give to family and friends. This book is beautifully written with honesty, humor, and expertise. I wish I had had this to reference at the beginning of my parenting journey. Read this book. You will so glad that you did.