Fallen: A Trauma, a Marriage, and the Transformative Power of Music

by Kara Stanley

In the vein of Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking , Kara Stanley tells the compelling story of her husband’s life-changing brain and spinal cord injury and the role of music, science, and love in recovery.Part recovery narrative and part love story, interwoven with the latest research on the brain, Fallen describes the aftermath of a life-threatening brain and spinal cord injury.

In 2008, Simon Paradis stepped backward on the scaffolding where he was doing construction work and fell two stories to the hard stone tile below. Landing on his back, head, and spine, he suffered a severe brain and spinal cord injury. Doctors warned his wife, Kara Stanley, that he probably would not survive, and that if he did, his mind and his body would never be the same. In Fallen , Kara Stanley chronicles the effect of this catastrophic accident on both Simon and her and on their marriage.

Combining the heart-wrenching narrative of Simon’s recovery with the latest research on the brain, the book elucidates the resilience of both the human heart and the human mind. It also describes the transformative role of music in Simon’s life both before and during his continuing rehabilitation and his hard-fought battle to return

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

320 pages, Paperback

First published March 27, 2015

About the author

Kara Stanley holds a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from the University of British Columbia, and her writing has appeared in Fugue, HipMama, and Paste.

A writer of fiction, non-fiction and song lyrics, Kara is also a teacher of creative writing and a classically-trained Pilates instructor.

She lives on the Sunshine Coast in British Columbia.

Reviews

[Esther Bradley-detally · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read. An event so horrific falls into Kara Stanley's life, one of trauma, about her marriage, and about the brain and music. The author reveals her inner agony, her husband's courage, a great detailed knowledge of his condition, and how he survives, and not only survives but surpasses expectations. I found her mention of a book about the brain and particularly music and the brain's response so interesting. I wonder if this knowledge is transferable to those whose children have Autism. At any rate, this is a profound and noble account of tragedy, and wonder. I can't recommend it highly enough. Kudos to the author.

[Jo-anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, what a love story! Love comes in many forms; romantic, parental, family, community, friends, and this book shares them in all their beauty. The love story weaves throughout Simon's recovery from his horrific fall and the resulting spinal chord and brain stem injuries. I was deeply touched by Simon's comment to Kara when she was his girlfriend. "I want to not know what to do together."
I too received 'the call' and was told to 'make my way safely' to a trauma emergency department. I too remember the nausea and fear for my loved one in the pit of my belly, the anger when hospital errors occurred, the focus on nutrition, learning to help with the use of a slider board, and wheelchairs, assisting my loved one with the usually very personal aspects of life and the love/hate relationship I had with hope. Where Kara Stanley excels is the amazing detail she retained and shares following the injury of her husband while my mind has locked the intensity of feelings inside a vault. Good books are journeys, quests, vacations from the everyday, where, if we are lucky, we will discover as many interesting questions as answers." I am motivated to discover the 'Horses' of my life. As Stanley explains, the horses pull the covered wagon. "The pioneers get in their wagons and start their journey west. Everything changes....the horses alone remain the same." "What is it, that pulls us through?" Music is a horse for Simon and I now seek to discover mine.
I share Stanley's wish "And to all those who wait today, my thoughts go to them with the hope that amidst the deep waters of grief and fear they are also blessed with the buouancy of great love: Be strong. Be safe. These are moments in time."

[Gerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an intense read for me. I have a much clearer picture of the trials Simon and Kara were going through. I must say that music was very much, and is still, a large part of this story. A great read, I shed few tears over this one.

[Joanie MacDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara Stanley has proven to be an extremely talented writer. She is a master storyteller with an abundance of knowledge and information that will touch your lives forever. Her love and determination for her family is quite apparent through her daily struggles as she manoeuvres her way through the uncertainty of our medical system. Having to put the book down several times as my eyes welled up, I felt an overwhelming feeling of Déjà Vu! Her tragic story captivated me in ways one could not imagine. Having walked in Kara's shoes some years previous with my seventeen year old son Michael,
I find myself preaching to everyone that I know to read this book, especially those here on the Sunshine Coast as you will be able to identify with many of the characters in the book. A new found love and respect has surfaced in me for Kara, Simon and Levy and I wish them all well on their continued journey!

[Dsinglet · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was gripping from beginning to end. It is the day by day, minute by minute account of a healthy young husband who sustains a life threatening fall from a scaffolding and becomes a spinal cord, brain trauma injury that threatens his life. His wife Kara stays with him every minute possible and the power of her love believes that he can live and be Simon again. Friends and music help him heal. You have to read this to understand what it's like to deal with this level of injury.

[Tal · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving page-turner, hard to read at times because it's so real. A beautiful sentence, taken from the book, sums it up better than I ever could: "I imagine my body a canoe on a dark, cavernous river, wet walls of dark rock rising high on either side, eddies of water swirling in fast, confusing currents. Inside the body of the canoe is Simon, lying still to prevent further swelling, and in this way we float and bob toward morning, together."

[Sherry Monger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had not heard or read of this book before Jo-anne highly recommended it on Goodreads - it did not disappoint. This memoir draws you deeply into the trauma experienced by Simon and his family when he fell backward off scaffolding, hovering between life and death for a very long time. This account, written by his wife, elegantly and brutally describes the physical and emotional horror of losing the life you once enjoyed, in a dreadful instant.
I couldn't help but admire the courage, determination, love and inner strength that brought Simon back from the brink even though he had sustained life changing injuries. I suppose you never know how you will respond to a crisis until you are actually faced with one, but I couldn't help but admire the author's stamina and dedication to her husband. She is a true hero, as is Simon as he continues to find joy in his family, his friends and his music, in spite of the significant challenges he faces in life.

[Marion · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good book. I am really glad I finally got to reading it for our Book Club. It's been on my list for ages. Heart wrenching at times, and sad. I had a few cries. Kara did a great job of telling their story. I have seen Simon perform here on the Sunshine Coast a few times, before and after his accident, and I am always very impressed with his talent. I love his music, and he always sings something I know and can relate to. What an ordeal this family went through. I also have experienced this kind of trauma, my oldest son has been a quad since 2001, when he was 28 years old. Dealing with the day to day living has to be be the hardest part. Keeping the spirits up, and getting on with life and carrying on as best as you can with what you have. A friend told me after my sons accident she'd rather be dead...I am so glad and thankful he's alive. And I'm glad Simon is here to give us his wonderful music.

[Shar Wallis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a lot of expectations when I began reading this book. It was receiving rave reviews as it was passed around our office. I also had extra vested interest in the novel because we have dealt with brain injury and the ICU unit in our family. First off let me say that I am so glad that Simon and Kara have the outcome that they do! I really saw how music played a role in his recovery.

I don't read a lot of non fiction, but it was worth the read. I wish I could articulate like the author is capable of! She is able to make you feel what she is feeling.

I found the information about 'musicking' on pages 258/9 very interesting. Plus I adore this quote from page 101... "As any unrepentant lifelong reader knows, good books are journeys, quests, vacations from the everyday, where, if we are lucky, we will discover as many interesting questions as answers."

[Krista Wollen Schultz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up, after my chiropractor recommended it, the author is local to us (West Coast of BC) and we had been discussing local authors. She said it was surprisingly good.

I was happily surprised and really enjoyed reading this book. It is a recent memoir, written from the perspective of a wife who's husband falls on the job site and survives a head and spinal cord injury, and his journey through recovery.

The story goes into depth about both the emotional and scientific aspects of the recovery and both are equally interesting. It was raw, unique and authentic, educational and I thoroughly enjoyed reading and crying my way through it.

I hope this book gets well circulated, it was really interesting.

[Alli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written.

[Val · Rating 5 out of 5]

A terrific read! So well-written and informative

[Joanne Mckinney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Intensely written, honest, lovely. Part science part memoir. Couldn't put it down. The husband is an accomplished musician. You can hear him on YouTube.

[Maryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gripping true life tale of recovery from a life altering trauma.

[Leah Noble · Rating 5 out of 5]

A true story about her husband's fall and subsequent Traumatic Brain Injury, and the years after and how he (and they) healed. So, so good. I was in the doctor's office last month and read an excerpt from this in Reader's Digest while I was waiting, and was like, "I've got to find the rest of this!" So I got it Interlibrary Loan out of Pictou. (Thank goodness for libraries.)

This is one of those books that I would think about all day at work, because I couldn't wait to get home to read more of... and yet I also wanted to ration it out because I didn't want it to end! (There should be a word for a book like this. "Page-turner" just doesn't cut it.) The language and the story are both so powerful - I love how the author celebrates the mundane details of daily life before the injury, the little acts and words that glue a marriage together. AND, they're Canadian! So it's a big thumbs-up all around. I give it five stars out of five. One I won't be forgetting any time soon!

[Chelsea Maskos · Rating 5 out of 5]

New to the medical field with a background in TBI social services, I found this book to be incredible. This should be required reading for any professional who will touch the life of a family experiencing major trauma. We need in-depth knowledge of our field to perform, but without acknowledging and trying to understand the wider perspective of what our patients and families go through, we can’t do our best. I’ve heard hundreds of trauma stories, but have never had this perspective on how a family processes and fights and rebuilds through it. This book has made me better. Thankyou for taking me through your journey.

[Jan Tisdale · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author tells heart wrenching story of her husbands brain and spinal injury and latest research of brain and power of music. She tells about her relationship as she allows the marriage to grow amid pain.

“ this story hit me personally because of my son.
The wife in this story was amazing”.

[Lee-Anne Bigwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. This feels cliche but: I laughed, I cried, and I learned SO much about the brain and nervous system. The variety of perspectives and voices are interwoven brilliantly.

[Carole · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[Clewchuk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kara Stanley is engaging as she describes the journey, she and her husband Simon navigate, as he attempts to come back from a traumatic head and spinal injury. The story is well written and gives insight into the emotional as well as the physical steps Simon takes, which Kara and her family and friends find they must take with him. Kara gives us a view into the process from her perspective and let's us see how this injury affects all the people in Simon's life. She tries to shed light into the biological workings of the brain and searches for answers to questions about how this biology in turn makes up a person's mind, personality, and true essence. In going through this process with her, it makes one think about what identity and self means, and where biology ends and one's sense of being begins. Through it all, music is the glue the binds the story and the vessel through which Kara and Simon's family guide Simon on his path back to himself. Simon "comes back", but finds he must redefine who he is to everyone else and that he must search to define who he is to himself both physically and mentally. In reading the book I felt drawn into the story and process and that I genuinely cared about the people and their outcomes.

[Janet Hutchinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I thought the title to be a bit misleading (music doesn't feature as strongly as the power of family and love, although he is a musician) I still thought this to be a very well written chronology of one person's recovery from a traumatic head injury.

[Gita · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, but not as much as I thought I would when I first heard about it. I think there was one too many detailed medical description perhaps... and not enough music. But it's not a bad read.

[Michele Benditzky]

I absoluteley loved this book. From the second page on I couldn t put it down and finished it in a day. Kara writes her story from the heart and pulls you right in. Masterful!