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The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans
A revelatory exploration of the ways we can find meaning in the tumult of change, from a renowned cognitive scientist and host of the podcast A Slight Change of Plans.
Life has a way of thwarting our best-laid plans. Out of nowhere you get an unexpected diagnosis, or your relationship ends, or you suffer some other trick of fate. In these moments, it can feel like you’re free-falling into the unknown.
Maya Shankar has spent decades researching people’s interior lives. When an unexpected change in her own life left her reeling, she sought out people who had gone through extraordinary disruption and asked them to tell her everything.
This book pairs intimate, illuminating stories with the latest science of human behavior, offering wisdom and practical strategies to help us better navigate these pivotal moments. Shankar encourages us to rethink our relationship with change by What if we saw change as a chance to reimagine ourselves, rather than as something to just endure? What potential could change unlock within us? The unique stresses and demands of our situation can help us tap into new abilities, perspectives, and values. Sometimes the hardest moments in our lives allow us to more deeply discover who we are and who we can become.
Life has a way of thwarting our best-laid plans. Out of nowhere you get an unexpected diagnosis, or your relationship ends, or you suffer some other trick of fate. In these moments, it can feel like you’re free-falling into the unknown.
Maya Shankar has spent decades researching people’s interior lives. When an unexpected change in her own life left her reeling, she sought out people who had gone through extraordinary disruption and asked them to tell her everything.
This book pairs intimate, illuminating stories with the latest science of human behavior, offering wisdom and practical strategies to help us better navigate these pivotal moments. Shankar encourages us to rethink our relationship with change by What if we saw change as a chance to reimagine ourselves, rather than as something to just endure? What potential could change unlock within us? The unique stresses and demands of our situation can help us tap into new abilities, perspectives, and values. Sometimes the hardest moments in our lives allow us to more deeply discover who we are and who we can become.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 13, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 456 reviews
January 16, 2026
This book is about what happens when life goes off script. Loss, illness, prison, exile. The moments that divide life into before and after.
I made a mistake with this book by going straight to the appendix to get an overview. It summarises each chapter and lists the tools, and nothing there looked particularly new. So I assumed this would be just another “wellbeing” book. If you’ve read a few books on mental health or psychological wellbeing, you’ll recognise most of the concepts here.
But once I actually read the chapters, I realised that’s not what this book is doing. Shanker doesn’t present ideas or give you strategies in an instructional way. She embeds them in powerful (vivid and deeply moving) real-life stories, the kind that stay with you. You might not remember every tool, but you’ll remember the stories.
One of my favourite lines, which I think sums up the main message, is:
When we’re feeling daunted at the outset of a change, there is comfort in knowing that the person who will undergo the full experience will be different from who we are in this very moment.
This book doesn’t tell you how to change. It gives you the tools, the courage and the comfort for when unexpected change happens.
Thank you to Riverhead Books and NetGalley for the ARC.
I made a mistake with this book by going straight to the appendix to get an overview. It summarises each chapter and lists the tools, and nothing there looked particularly new. So I assumed this would be just another “wellbeing” book. If you’ve read a few books on mental health or psychological wellbeing, you’ll recognise most of the concepts here.
But once I actually read the chapters, I realised that’s not what this book is doing. Shanker doesn’t present ideas or give you strategies in an instructional way. She embeds them in powerful (vivid and deeply moving) real-life stories, the kind that stay with you. You might not remember every tool, but you’ll remember the stories.
One of my favourite lines, which I think sums up the main message, is:
When we’re feeling daunted at the outset of a change, there is comfort in knowing that the person who will undergo the full experience will be different from who we are in this very moment.
This book doesn’t tell you how to change. It gives you the tools, the courage and the comfort for when unexpected change happens.
Thank you to Riverhead Books and NetGalley for the ARC.
May 25, 2026
On the back of publishing my own life story, I found this book incredibly grounding to read. It sits somewhere between psychology, memoir, and practical guidebook. The author is a cognitive scientist, and through her collection of real-life stories she basically demonstrates what happens to you when life completely derails your plans. How big life events (such as loss, illness, or sudden upheaval) can change us, and how the hardest part isn't fixing the situation but figuring out who we are now.
Shankar argues that people tend to cling to old identities and hate uncertainty, which makes change feel worse than it already is, but that over time we're actually a lot more adaptable than we think. Instead of 'bouncing back,' the idea is you slowly become a slightly different version of yourself, often with a clearer sense of what really matters, even if it doesn't feel meaningful at first.
Her central claim (that disruption reshapes identity, not just circumstance) is fundamentally sound. As someone who's personally gone through extreme events (abduction, abuse, and near-death experiences), that idea isn't theoretical - it's obvious. You don't 'return' to who you were, I didn't return to who I was.
Where the book especially resonates is in how it names that identity rupture without framing it as failure. There's something quietly validating in her insistence that disorientation, grief for my former self, and even numbness are not signs that I handled things poorly, they're part of the process of becoming someone else. Her emphasis on values over roles can be useful. When life strips away control, roles often collapse. But values (things like protecting others, seeking truth, endurance, and compassion) can remain intact or even sharpen. That reframing can feel less fragile than identity labels.
The book operates in a space that assumes change is something I can eventually integrate into a coherent narrative. That's often true, but in my experience it doesn't always happen cleanly, and certainly not fully. With my own severe traumas, some experiences didn't resolve into meaning so much as coexist with it. My personal growth often felt like an imposed expectation rather than a discovery, and the idea of becoming a 'new self' feels incomplete, because parts of my past never disappear, they stay with me, sometimes painfully.
Shankar's tone (like much behavioural science writing) leans towards pattern-finding and reassurance. For everyday disruptions, that's helpful. For extreme experiences, it can occasionally feel like it smooths over the reality, that some things remain jagged indefinitely. In other words, I believe the book is strongest at explaining how people adapt, rather than fully grappling with how brutal and uneven that adaption can be. It can feel too tidy around suffering that is anything but tidy.
That said, I still gave it 5 stars, because I believe it helps to explain how trauma can change someone - how it has personally changed me. It's inclusion of real-life stories as reference points, made this such a validating read for me. It's a book I would certainly recommend to friends or relatives of loved ones struggling to understand the survivor or victim in their life. While it's more of lens than a road map, its most valuable parts are naming identity disruption, normalising uncertainty, and shifting the mindset towards values. It certainly helped to remind me not to underestimate my own capacity to adapt and evolve through upheaval.
Shankar argues that people tend to cling to old identities and hate uncertainty, which makes change feel worse than it already is, but that over time we're actually a lot more adaptable than we think. Instead of 'bouncing back,' the idea is you slowly become a slightly different version of yourself, often with a clearer sense of what really matters, even if it doesn't feel meaningful at first.
Her central claim (that disruption reshapes identity, not just circumstance) is fundamentally sound. As someone who's personally gone through extreme events (abduction, abuse, and near-death experiences), that idea isn't theoretical - it's obvious. You don't 'return' to who you were, I didn't return to who I was.
Where the book especially resonates is in how it names that identity rupture without framing it as failure. There's something quietly validating in her insistence that disorientation, grief for my former self, and even numbness are not signs that I handled things poorly, they're part of the process of becoming someone else. Her emphasis on values over roles can be useful. When life strips away control, roles often collapse. But values (things like protecting others, seeking truth, endurance, and compassion) can remain intact or even sharpen. That reframing can feel less fragile than identity labels.
The book operates in a space that assumes change is something I can eventually integrate into a coherent narrative. That's often true, but in my experience it doesn't always happen cleanly, and certainly not fully. With my own severe traumas, some experiences didn't resolve into meaning so much as coexist with it. My personal growth often felt like an imposed expectation rather than a discovery, and the idea of becoming a 'new self' feels incomplete, because parts of my past never disappear, they stay with me, sometimes painfully.
Shankar's tone (like much behavioural science writing) leans towards pattern-finding and reassurance. For everyday disruptions, that's helpful. For extreme experiences, it can occasionally feel like it smooths over the reality, that some things remain jagged indefinitely. In other words, I believe the book is strongest at explaining how people adapt, rather than fully grappling with how brutal and uneven that adaption can be. It can feel too tidy around suffering that is anything but tidy.
That said, I still gave it 5 stars, because I believe it helps to explain how trauma can change someone - how it has personally changed me. It's inclusion of real-life stories as reference points, made this such a validating read for me. It's a book I would certainly recommend to friends or relatives of loved ones struggling to understand the survivor or victim in their life. While it's more of lens than a road map, its most valuable parts are naming identity disruption, normalising uncertainty, and shifting the mindset towards values. It certainly helped to remind me not to underestimate my own capacity to adapt and evolve through upheaval.
August 11, 2025
I loved this book. The book ends with a set of strategies, grounded in psychological research, that we can all use to navigate change. But the strength of the book is how Maya weaves those themes through the journeys of the people she profiles. She has thought deeply about how we experience the unexpected in our lives, and her insight, compassion, and wisdom shine through in every story that she tells -- like sitting down with a gentle and trusted friend. The core of the book is her belief that in navigating change, we face challenges and obstacles we could not have imagined but also tap inner reserves and develop capabilities we didn't know we had. At the end of the book, she shares her own story which is as touching as all of the others she tells. I'd strongly recommend this book not only to anyone navigating a change in their own lives (which at some point is all of us) -- but to anyone who appreciates a book that is honest and true.
June 27, 2026
This was such a surprise! And I really think this found me at the right time. I enjoyed hearing about the stories of other people, their lives, and their responses to sudden upheaval of said lives. Shankar did a good job of blending human spirit with social sciences and I wrote some things down as I read that moved me. I hope even the things I didn't write down will stick with me too
Nice non-fiction read about unexpected changes in our lives and how we can respond to them.
Nice non-fiction read about unexpected changes in our lives and how we can respond to them.
January 21, 2026
Not a self help book but a reflect and grow book. I loved every word of it and every lesson and story! Looking forward to the amazing ways I will continue to grow and change as my life continuously evolves. Fantastic read!
January 14, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced ebook of this text!
I really enjoyed this book, and I truly wish I could have had it 10-15 years ago, heck even 20 years ago, when I was going through some difficult life changes. The kind where you question if your life is going in the direction you thought it would, that kind of thing.
The book offers insight into several real individuals who have faced obstacles, fallen into common mental traps related to them, and come out on the other side changed. The book offers a glimpse into what helped those individuals find their way, mentally.
This isn’t a “how to fix your life with these easy tips!” kind of read; the advice is difficult but fruitful. It won’t make your divorce seem like a gift or the death of a parent like a meaningful tradition. Life is still full of traumatic, life-altering events, but the text does offer really good advice for how to view these events in new ways.
The best part? There’s a kind of tool kit/survival resource at the end of the book. This would have been PHENOMENAL when I needed it.
I only rated a 4 instead of a 5 because I knew much of the content already. It is a personal rating, not a reflection in the content itself (which is superb).
I really enjoyed this book, and I truly wish I could have had it 10-15 years ago, heck even 20 years ago, when I was going through some difficult life changes. The kind where you question if your life is going in the direction you thought it would, that kind of thing.
The book offers insight into several real individuals who have faced obstacles, fallen into common mental traps related to them, and come out on the other side changed. The book offers a glimpse into what helped those individuals find their way, mentally.
This isn’t a “how to fix your life with these easy tips!” kind of read; the advice is difficult but fruitful. It won’t make your divorce seem like a gift or the death of a parent like a meaningful tradition. Life is still full of traumatic, life-altering events, but the text does offer really good advice for how to view these events in new ways.
The best part? There’s a kind of tool kit/survival resource at the end of the book. This would have been PHENOMENAL when I needed it.
I only rated a 4 instead of a 5 because I knew much of the content already. It is a personal rating, not a reflection in the content itself (which is superb).
June 21, 2026
Loved this book. Bought it not really thinking about the so many different experiences in life that create change. Thinking my own “change” was the worse possible type. The beautiful way Maya Shankar shared her stories of people going through major disruptions in their life, made me feel like I was reading a fictional novel. And then it hits….real life’s plan gets knocked around a lot. It’s easy to connect with the people in her stories. But even better, she doesn’t leave you with the feeling of other people go through tough changes too…deal with it. She scientifically explains what’s happening in your brain and explains the ways to get to the other side of those feelings. Best yet, for me, anyway. She has an appendix at the end, “your change survival kit”. It highlights the different concepts in each chapter with “what the science says” and “what can you do”. It’s like homework! I love it and believe I will refer to the appendix often.
Did Not Finish
March 26, 2026What a strange, uncomfortable experience this audiobook was. It feels written by a freshman-year journalism student and read by a Kardashian or one of their friends (grown women who still sound like high school girls trying to fit in). Shankar interviewed people with extraordinary, compelling stories, yet conveyed them with such lifeless reporting the impact was completely lost—their experiences bafflingly truncated to provide insight that doesn’t translate effectively. Everything feels borrowed, even her own story of a chronic hand injury which left her unable to continue a violin career begun in childhood. This, too, was shared with such flat affect, I began to question the validity of any of it. Throw in a few borrowed psychology and cognitive science concepts and their definitions, and the point and purpose were completely lost. I was left with the very strange feeling of having been told real-world adult stories by a sheltered kid who could gather facts and put them on paper with technical accuracy but did not yet have the life experience to inhabit them and understand where in the stories their wisdom was earned and why—which just makes this all the more strange because, having looked her up, I was shocked to learn Shankar is in her 40s and has led a quite extraordinary life herself: a child prodigy who attended Juilliard, Yale, and Oxford. This book very much felt neat and tidy like that. Sometimes, though, all the smarts and privilege in the world are their own barriers to deeply connecting to another’s experience, even, unfortunately, our own.
June 24, 2026
The Other Side of Change resonated with me on a deeply personal level. Like the author, I attended Juilliard Pre-College and believed music—specifically the cello—was my calling and core identity. I ultimately took a different path, one that led me away from playing for 17 years and forced me to discover new dimensions of identity, purpose, and life beyond what I had imagined for myself.
I happened to read this book during a second major transition period in my life, after leaving a company where I had worked for 17 years and which had, in many ways, become a second identity after the cello. That timing made many of the stories and insights resonate even more deeply.
What I loved about this book was the range of stories she shares. The experiences of people navigating unexpected change are remarkably varied, often profound, and consistently thought-provoking. She weaves these stories together with her own experiences in a way that feels genuine and insightful without ever becoming preachy or self-focused.
Beautifully written, compassionate, and deeply human, this book excels at helping readers connect with both the subjects and themselves. Maya Shankar has a rare gift for finding universal truths within deeply personal stories and communicating them with clarity and warmth. A powerful reminder that change, while often unwelcome, can open doors to lives we never expected.
I happened to read this book during a second major transition period in my life, after leaving a company where I had worked for 17 years and which had, in many ways, become a second identity after the cello. That timing made many of the stories and insights resonate even more deeply.
What I loved about this book was the range of stories she shares. The experiences of people navigating unexpected change are remarkably varied, often profound, and consistently thought-provoking. She weaves these stories together with her own experiences in a way that feels genuine and insightful without ever becoming preachy or self-focused.
Beautifully written, compassionate, and deeply human, this book excels at helping readers connect with both the subjects and themselves. Maya Shankar has a rare gift for finding universal truths within deeply personal stories and communicating them with clarity and warmth. A powerful reminder that change, while often unwelcome, can open doors to lives we never expected.
February 17, 2026
So interesting to think that we aren’t the same people at the beginning of change than we are at the end. I picked this up from the library because ads for this book were relentless on one of the podcasts that I listen to. I’m glad I did!
May 12, 2026
This has been one of the toughest years of my life and were not even halfway through 2026 yet! I've personally experienced change in many ways and it can be very isolating at times. Change is inevitable, but when it happens to you it can fully take over your mind and body. Reading this book is comforting in the way that everyone has gone through something. You are less alone than you may think. Change also isn't always bad. Sometimes you experience change in life to better yourself.
I got to hear Maya talk at the 2026 Tulane Book Festival, and it was truly beautiful. She has a way of making you feel seen. Hearing her story along with many others makes change seem less scary. You can tell she cares about people and their stories. Although it may be hard, change happens to everyone; you are not alone!
I got to hear Maya talk at the 2026 Tulane Book Festival, and it was truly beautiful. She has a way of making you feel seen. Hearing her story along with many others makes change seem less scary. You can tell she cares about people and their stories. Although it may be hard, change happens to everyone; you are not alone!
June 1, 2026
This was really interesting and I wasn’t expecting it to resonate with me so deeply because I feel like I’m not going through any substantial change or upheaval in my life right now, but it was just filled with insights that are relevant to literally anything and the stories she told of other people weren’t necessarily feel good stories with a happy ending. They were realistic and heartbreaking in a way, but the important part was how they navigated it, and dare I say it was really inspiring
May 12, 2026
Maya Shankar has made a change of plans on several occasions.
Haven't we all?
What we expect of life sometimes doesn't go the way we planned. How do we navigate those changes with grace and curiosity? This book shares several examples of people who've undergone intense change and found a way to adapt, flourish and grow.
You can expect a stroke, a prison sentence, hope, grief, cognitive theories and new directions.
Haven't we all?
What we expect of life sometimes doesn't go the way we planned. How do we navigate those changes with grace and curiosity? This book shares several examples of people who've undergone intense change and found a way to adapt, flourish and grow.
You can expect a stroke, a prison sentence, hope, grief, cognitive theories and new directions.
June 22, 2026
You know that rare book, the kind you might find once a year, that you literally hug when you finish reading it? Yeah. This is one of those. Order it now. You’re going to love this one.
May 3, 2026
An excellent and easy read. The author does a great job of storytelling and really brings each experience to life in a relatable way (connecting it back to science as well).
I enjoyed reading about how people navigated life changing events, their emotions, challenges, and how they coped and rebuilt. It’s a good reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned, you’re not alone, and it’s possible to start over.
I enjoyed reading about how people navigated life changing events, their emotions, challenges, and how they coped and rebuilt. It’s a good reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned, you’re not alone, and it’s possible to start over.
February 11, 2026
This one was hard for me to rate—I'd really give it 3.5 stars, but I rounded up to 4. Shankar does a beautiful job weaving together real stories of resilience with her research, and a lot of those stories will stick with me. Personally, though, I wish there had been more about the broader behavioral science and how it applies to whole populations. Still, it was an easy read and I’d definitely recommend it, especially since we’re all trying to navigate a world that feels constantly uncertain and ever‑changing.
April 9, 2026
Listened to this on audiobook and immediately purchased a hard copy for myself before even finishing. This book altered my brain chemistry in the best way! Highly recommend to anyone going through a big life change or time of uncertainty. I found all of Maya’s stories captivating and heartwarming.
May 10, 2026
The conclusions at the end of each chapter were incredibly insightful and helpful. For me, the reason for 3 stars is that the stories, while real and a path for the conclusions, made the book heavy and difficult to pick up after a long day. Some times you want to read something insightful, but some of the stories were very sad and I found myself wanting to get through the chapters quickly just to get to the conclusions.
January 31, 2026
I enjoyed the first couple of chapters, but subsequent ones leaned heavily on examples of debilitating anxiety, which personally felt less accessible for me.
I appreciated the overall theme of the book: "What if we saw the hardest moments in our lives as a chance to reimagine ourselves, rather than as something to just endure? What potential could change unlock within us?" (page xvi)
My biggest takeaway: "I'm slowly learning to attach my identity not just to specific pursuits, but to the underlying features of those pursuits that make me light up—in other words, to define myself not simply by what I do but by why I do it. It's a way to give myself a softer landing the next time my 'what' is put at risk; my 'why' will still be there, and it can help steer me toward my next chapter" (29-30).
I appreciated the overall theme of the book: "What if we saw the hardest moments in our lives as a chance to reimagine ourselves, rather than as something to just endure? What potential could change unlock within us?" (page xvi)
My biggest takeaway: "I'm slowly learning to attach my identity not just to specific pursuits, but to the underlying features of those pursuits that make me light up—in other words, to define myself not simply by what I do but by why I do it. It's a way to give myself a softer landing the next time my 'what' is put at risk; my 'why' will still be there, and it can help steer me toward my next chapter" (29-30).
March 11, 2026
Dr. Maya Shankar’s The Other Side of Change is an insightful and deeply relatable exploration of how life’s unexpected challenges shape who we become. Through powerful stories and research, Shankar highlights a universal truth: every person experiences difficult moments and periods of change. What makes this book so impactful is the way she reframes those moments—not as setbacks, but as opportunities for growth.
One of the most meaningful takeaways from the book is the reminder that change is something everyone experiences. Whether the changes come from loss, career shifts, personal struggles, or unexpected life events, Shankar shows that these moments can lead to resilience, self-discovery, and new possibilities. The stories she shares demonstrate that while change can be uncomfortable and even painful, it often leads to lessons that shape stronger, more adaptable individuals.
Dr. Shankar’s approach is both compassionate and practical. She blends real-life stories with behavioral science, helping readers understand not only why change is difficult but also how people can navigate it more effectively. Her perspective encourages readers to reflect on their own experiences and see the value in moments that may once have felt overwhelming.
Overall, The Other Side of Change is an inspiring and thought-provoking book. It reminds readers that change is not something to fear, but something that connects us all and ultimately helps us grow. Dr. Maya Shankar provides a hopeful message: even in the hardest transitions, there are lessons and opportunities waiting on the other side.
One of the most meaningful takeaways from the book is the reminder that change is something everyone experiences. Whether the changes come from loss, career shifts, personal struggles, or unexpected life events, Shankar shows that these moments can lead to resilience, self-discovery, and new possibilities. The stories she shares demonstrate that while change can be uncomfortable and even painful, it often leads to lessons that shape stronger, more adaptable individuals.
Dr. Shankar’s approach is both compassionate and practical. She blends real-life stories with behavioral science, helping readers understand not only why change is difficult but also how people can navigate it more effectively. Her perspective encourages readers to reflect on their own experiences and see the value in moments that may once have felt overwhelming.
Overall, The Other Side of Change is an inspiring and thought-provoking book. It reminds readers that change is not something to fear, but something that connects us all and ultimately helps us grow. Dr. Maya Shankar provides a hopeful message: even in the hardest transitions, there are lessons and opportunities waiting on the other side.
June 25, 2026
Maya Shankar’s The Other Side of Change is gripping and poignant.
What makes the book so powerful is the combination of storytelling and cognitive science. Maya gives us the science without making it feel clinical, and she gives us the stories without reducing them to lessons. The people in the book feel fully human, not like case studies. You can tell these were relationships she had built with deep care.
I was especially moved by the personal story running through the book. I knew Maya when we were children at Juilliard. She was bright, precocious, and obviously gifted. I knew that an injury had forced her to stop playing violin, and I understood how devastating that must have been. But I didn’t know the other losses and griefs that shaped her life, or the ways she had to rebuild her identity again and again.
By the end, you realize that Maya is not just writing about change from the outside, or offering up empty words of self-help advice. She has been practicing these ideas on herself. The book becomes not only a way to understand change, but a way to meet your own life with more honesty, tenderness, and grace.
What makes the book so powerful is the combination of storytelling and cognitive science. Maya gives us the science without making it feel clinical, and she gives us the stories without reducing them to lessons. The people in the book feel fully human, not like case studies. You can tell these were relationships she had built with deep care.
I was especially moved by the personal story running through the book. I knew Maya when we were children at Juilliard. She was bright, precocious, and obviously gifted. I knew that an injury had forced her to stop playing violin, and I understood how devastating that must have been. But I didn’t know the other losses and griefs that shaped her life, or the ways she had to rebuild her identity again and again.
By the end, you realize that Maya is not just writing about change from the outside, or offering up empty words of self-help advice. She has been practicing these ideas on herself. The book becomes not only a way to understand change, but a way to meet your own life with more honesty, tenderness, and grace.
May 10, 2026
People's stories serve as allegories with bits of advice and science mixed in for coping with change. While the stories tend toward the extreme, it's clear how they scale and can be applied to many types of changes. Told conversationally and narrated/read by the author herself, it's a quick, easy read/listen. I found myself taking notes, both of reminders I could look back on and topics to return to for checking in and reassessing as I go through life's changes.
I used to really look sideways at self-help books. It seemed they all offered lofty promises that they couldn't deliver on, from cure-alls to get-rich-quick schemes. But "The Other Side of Change" falls within the category of like... good, scientifically based, just some stuff to consider and work on kind of self-help. A therapist recommended this one to me and it's the third or so such rec that actually hit right and, y'know, helped.
This still isn't my genre of choice and it wasn't anything that totally blew me away. That's honestly where the 4 out of 5 stars comes in; it's a great book but not "5 stars amazing." That said, I'd recommend this broadly.
I used to really look sideways at self-help books. It seemed they all offered lofty promises that they couldn't deliver on, from cure-alls to get-rich-quick schemes. But "The Other Side of Change" falls within the category of like... good, scientifically based, just some stuff to consider and work on kind of self-help. A therapist recommended this one to me and it's the third or so such rec that actually hit right and, y'know, helped.
This still isn't my genre of choice and it wasn't anything that totally blew me away. That's honestly where the 4 out of 5 stars comes in; it's a great book but not "5 stars amazing." That said, I'd recommend this broadly.
June 24, 2026
I have been a physician for 60 years. The only constant in my practice were the changes that my patients were dealing with, some major and some minor. After 25 years of practicing medicine, while riding my bicycle in broad daylight, I was struck by a car and ended up with a devastating head injury. I ended up in the UCLA Neurosurgery intensive care and my previous life, as I knew, was over. Years of rehab followed although I was never able to return to the practice of medicine. I was interested in the thesis of this book and downloaded from the Apple site. Her words resonated with me and I've continued to think about how some of her subjects dealt with the changes in their lives. I only wish there was some more extended followup on more of the people she interviewed. We all undergo various levels of change in our daily lives. The secret to successfully dealing with these changes is well illustrated in some of the examples she describes. I recommend this book because of the insights it gives into the lives of those who were deeply affected by changes in their daily existence, both profound and otherwise, and how they handled these changes.
June 24, 2026
Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist who writes straight from the heart. What I keep coming back to months after reading her book is the central question she explores throughout: What if we stopped trying to just survive change and, instead, allowed it to transform and reshape us in unexpected ways? A simple yet incredibly complex proposition. A book like this could easily veer into toxic positivity. It doesn’t. Quite the opposite. Maya is a certified expert, but her authority here comes from lived experience. Her perspective is hard-won, and her story, like all the stories she shares, will resonate deeply. A great read if you’re mid-upheaval, post-upheaval, or just quietly bracing for the next upheaval. Which is basically all of us. A profound read — highly recommended.
May 17, 2026
A great find, standing out for effectively walking the reader through specific cases, and also using the subjects' own words to convey their experiences.
Even better, this flows from one psychological concept to the next smoothly, citing the ideas and the researchers behind it, and tying back to previous case studies just enough to solidify relevance. This lends credibility to the work and the interpretations, and also afford the reader easy opportunity to explore further.
The ample Appendix supports looking further as well. However, the book moves into a long series of 'research shows' statements, without citing specific studies. Which brings to mind that not all research is of the same quality, and that too often 'conclusions' in papers do not in fact logically follow from the study design or the results reported.
So read with a bit of critical thinking, accept and use what works. Which is in fact the author's approach, presenting the concepts as 'tools' to use as needed.
This is a powerful resource for evaluating one's own life changes, and helpful for considering future choices too.
Plan to reread occasionally and reference this to others. This may be a powerful tool to connect with friends and family in new, meaningful ways. That is, the vocabulary, this lexicon of concepts, this way of thinking, makes asking meaningful questions SO much easier.
This is a collection of new and exciting thoughts to understand human behavior; it is relevant, articulate, accessible.
This is also hard to read, and most people will likely take some time to work through the stories and discussion. Also, it is well-referenced, with dozens of research efforts peppered throughout and cited at the end, allowing readers to delve further into any theories that resonate or challenge them.
IMO reading this book will allow crafting a better life experience, through a menu of approaches offering choices for how people approach and shape their own experiences. It is empowering, in the present, as well as for and in the future.
Even better, this flows from one psychological concept to the next smoothly, citing the ideas and the researchers behind it, and tying back to previous case studies just enough to solidify relevance. This lends credibility to the work and the interpretations, and also afford the reader easy opportunity to explore further.
The ample Appendix supports looking further as well. However, the book moves into a long series of 'research shows' statements, without citing specific studies. Which brings to mind that not all research is of the same quality, and that too often 'conclusions' in papers do not in fact logically follow from the study design or the results reported.
So read with a bit of critical thinking, accept and use what works. Which is in fact the author's approach, presenting the concepts as 'tools' to use as needed.
This is a powerful resource for evaluating one's own life changes, and helpful for considering future choices too.
Plan to reread occasionally and reference this to others. This may be a powerful tool to connect with friends and family in new, meaningful ways. That is, the vocabulary, this lexicon of concepts, this way of thinking, makes asking meaningful questions SO much easier.
This is a collection of new and exciting thoughts to understand human behavior; it is relevant, articulate, accessible.
This is also hard to read, and most people will likely take some time to work through the stories and discussion. Also, it is well-referenced, with dozens of research efforts peppered throughout and cited at the end, allowing readers to delve further into any theories that resonate or challenge them.
IMO reading this book will allow crafting a better life experience, through a menu of approaches offering choices for how people approach and shape their own experiences. It is empowering, in the present, as well as for and in the future.
June 23, 2026
In The Other Side of Change, Maya Shankar explores case studies and offers practical solutions to managing complex changes. I really enjoyed how she used real examples to highlight how people are able to use solutions routed in neuroscience to alter their thoughts and behaviours.
Grounding the science in real examples makes the complex concepts incredibly accessible and actionable. The section dedicated to exploring rumination was especially helpful, offering brilliant insight into breaking negative thought patterns.
The Verdict:
Rating: ⭐️⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Buy/Borrow/Skip- Buy this is a great guide to navigating transition that offers real, practical tools for personal transformation.
Read if you like: neuroscience, actionable concepts, and relatable examples to learn from
Grounding the science in real examples makes the complex concepts incredibly accessible and actionable. The section dedicated to exploring rumination was especially helpful, offering brilliant insight into breaking negative thought patterns.
The Verdict:
Rating: ⭐️⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Buy/Borrow/Skip- Buy this is a great guide to navigating transition that offers real, practical tools for personal transformation.
Read if you like: neuroscience, actionable concepts, and relatable examples to learn from
June 23, 2026
As a long-time fan of Maya's award-winning podcast A Slight Change of Plans, I was thrilled when this book was announced. Then a little nervous because it's hardly fair to have stratospheric expectations before even opening the book. I needn't have worried, however, as this book is as powerful as it is poignant. The stories of ordinary lives transformed by unwanted change cross the gamut of human experience, illuminating the extraordinary human capacity for not only adaptation but transcendance and thriving. To read this book is to be educated, inspired, and a little less fearful of what might befall any one of us at any time.
June 23, 2026
This book was not just wonderful, it was good for my SOUL. I have been a long time listener of Maya’s podcast. To take the stories and wisdom she has garnered in these conversations and as a social scientist, was both educational, inspirational, and reassuring. She tells people’s most intimate stories with grace, respect and reverence. Even more incredible, she shares her own story with vulnerability and humility. I don’t know many people able to share the deepest parts of themselves and their journeys with the world in the way Maya has done. Her gift is listening and holding space for people to fully and bravely share. She has given us ALL a gift with this book.
June 25, 2026
This is a really fantastic non-fiction / non-memoir! The author shows off some incredible qualitative research skills and really deep dives into the waves of change - be it a health crisis, the end of a relationship, unexpected traumas, or simply not getting what you want in life.
Perhaps most profound for me was the line: "When we're feeling daunted at the outset of a change, there is comfort in knowing that the person who will undergo the full experience will be different from who we are in this very moment."
This book really offers a nice balance of tangible tools and inspiring stories that can really help shift your mindset when navigating hardship. I often found myself thinking about one of my own favorite mantras: Everything that happens in my life happens FOR me, not to me. And there really is a lot of comfort in releasing the outcomes, knowing that every life circumstance comes with a uniqueness... particularly because who we are is forever changing.
Perhaps most profound for me was the line: "When we're feeling daunted at the outset of a change, there is comfort in knowing that the person who will undergo the full experience will be different from who we are in this very moment."
This book really offers a nice balance of tangible tools and inspiring stories that can really help shift your mindset when navigating hardship. I often found myself thinking about one of my own favorite mantras: Everything that happens in my life happens FOR me, not to me. And there really is a lot of comfort in releasing the outcomes, knowing that every life circumstance comes with a uniqueness... particularly because who we are is forever changing.
June 21, 2026
The writing is exceptionally graceful, blending these gripping human narratives seamlessly with the author's background in cognitive science and psychology. Reading exactly how these real people navigated their darkest moments and emerged redefined on the other side is utterly captivating. This book does not just tell you that people can change; it lets you witness their incredible transformation firsthand. It is an uplifting, beautifully crafted companion for anyone facing uncertainty.
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