But I'm Bored!: Discover the Power of Independent Play to Raise Confident, Resilient Kids

by Lizzie Assa

Good Inside meets Fair Play in this inspiring, real-world guide to fostering independent play in children—both as a vital skill for kids’ development and an essential act for modern parents’ well-being and sanity.

“But I’m bored.” Parents constantly hear these three dreaded words from their kids, and it’s no secret why—our kids don’t know how to play by themselves anymore and make their own fun. Busy schedules, on-demand screens, and safety concerns have transformed the landscape of play for children today, and parents have been unfairly expected to fill in the gap. We love our kids, but we don’t need to play with them 24/7 to be a good parent!

Independent play is Lizzie Assa’s specialty, and she has become the go-to expert on the topic to the 200K parents who follow her on Instagram and the 20K newsletter subscribers who get her weekly updates and ideas. The key, she argues, is to prioritize independent, unstructured play. The kids can develop their imagination…and parents can enjoy some precious, much-needed time to themselves!

In “But I’m Bored!”, Assa shows exactly how to strike this balance. Through high-impact, low-effort strategies, parents learn how to create play pockets in their home, choose open-ended toys that spark imagination, set play boundaries (and stick to them), and enforce the wonders of quiet time. Then, when parents do engage in play time with their kid, it doesn’t feel like a job—it strengthens their relationship to their child and helps cultivate an overall happier, healthier environment for the whole family.

“But I’m Bored!” isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about freeing your child to be authentically themselves…so you can be the best version of yourself. Because doesn’t every child (and parent) deserve that?

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

288 pages, Hardcover

Published January 13, 2026

Reviews

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once I got over her “what, like it’s hard?” intro re: raising small children, I really felt like this was a worthwhile book. A parenting book that makes me feel like “oh, I can do this, and it will make MY life easier” instead of listing all the things I’ve done wrong and telling me to shift all my tactics is often a win for me.

I came away from this read with a few concrete things I want to do— my kids play independently pretty well, but I loved how she talked about play spaces. I’ve got some ideas to put art supplies, toys, etc. in strategic spots so they’re used a little more. I felt the weight of playing with my kids lifted from my shoulders (I just can’t play pretend indefinitely. And I don’t have to! Shouldn’t, even!) and felt like the time I do spend connecting with my kids is enough, and so valuable. It was also a good reminder to me that kids live in my house, so it can look like kids live in my house. My house doesn’t have to look instagram-worthy. I don’t even use Instagram.

[Kristen Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the most balanced, realistic and non-judgmental books I’ve read on parenting and I appreciate it so much. It’s all about the value of your child’s play and how learning to play independently can set a child up for a lot of success in their life (and save your own sanity as a parent.)

There are lots of great scripts, actionable tips, and lists of useful tools/products that can help you figure out quiet time and independent play. And some great examples from the author’s own experiences that feel relevant and grounded.

My favorite aspect was how things like screen time aren’t demonized. They are framed as a tool, not as the enemy. And the concepts are independent play are about what fantastic skills the space for personal exploration allows for.

And while it’s heavily focused on families with multiple children, there is some acknowledgement of only child families, which I appreciate. While siblings playing together is definitely an aspect of independent play, the book really is primarily about individual independent play which is applicable to everyone.

This book also addresses the struggle around parental guilt and feeling bad about not entertaining your child all the time — it’s real! But this book is probably the first thing I’ve read that actually alleviated the guilt while not talking down to me for having it in the first place. It was like a seasoned profession gently grabbing my shoulder and telling me it’s going to be okay.

I will recommend this book to all of my friends with kids. It’s hugely valuable and I can see why the hold list at my library was so long! (I ended up buying it and then my hold came in two days later, ha!)

[Jenna Hanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate the practical nature of this book, showing ways to build quiet time into your day, create play pockets allowing for independence while remaining your child to stay close to you, and how to use the materials you already have to encourage play. Also really liked Lizzie’s encouragement to identify your family values and culture so that you can make choices you can feel confident about, knowing they are aligning with your goals.

[Megan Gibbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ya’ll…I ate this sh*t UP. As the mom of a high control, anxious, clingy only child, I soaked this up like a sponge. I am not exaggerating when I say that by chapter two I had already implemented some simple changes in my home to encourage independent play and it WORKED. The strategies shared in this book are so simple and can be accomplished with the things you already have. This is something I will keep on my shelf and reference when I need it, it is so helpful.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tell me your kids have had a million snow day school closures without telling me 🤪 I think this book was great but I wish I had read it when they were toddlers as most of it would have been more applicable then. However, still some great tips I’m going to try to incorporate.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m so grateful that Lizzie wrote this book!! Parenting in the world today often feels overwhelming and all consuming, but this book is an incredible source of practical and empowering advice. Raising creative and confident kids is a huge goal in my parenting, and this book has incredible strategies that empower you to support your children’s creativity and development in ways that align with your values, instead of a one-size-fits-all approach. I’ve been following Lizzie’s online work since 2020, and her work around play has fundamentally changed the way I mother and has helped me create the family culture that I want in our home! Even after reading so much of her other work, I love how clear this book lays out strategies and empowers you to choose what works for your family. I’m so excited to have it on my shelf to refer back to! If you’re new to the idea of independent play as a tool for your children and home, look no further- this is the perfect place to start. I’m so grateful for Lizzie’s work in this much needed and often overlooked aspect of parenting in the world today. Buy this book!! You won’t regret it!

[Colleen Gershey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t read a ton of nonfiction, but when a book interests me, I’ll scoop it up, no matter the topic. My son struggles with boredom, so I was immediately intrigued by the title. I won this ebook from a Goodreads Giveaway, but my opinion and review are completely my own.

Whenever it comes to parenting advice, there’s a fine line between sharing helpful information and making a parent feel inadequate in some way. The author of this book has a very supportive attitude and stresses that she wants the reader to adapt her ideas in whatever way works for their family.

Although my son is a little too old for the advice in the book, I still feel like I got some great ideas to combat summer boredom (which is right around the corner) while also limiting screen time. To be clear, the author does not shame anyone for using screens, but she does help you find ways to minimize them.

This parenting book would be a perfect fit for any expecting parents or parents of toddlers. I give it 5 stars for the quality of information and the manner in which it was delivered.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

On principle, I don't log parenting books on here because none of them feel like a part of my fun reading hobby (read: not a good read). This book however, is worth breaking that rule. I really enjoyed Assa's suggestion that a child saying they are bored is not an indication that the parent has committed many moral failures and/or their kid is an insufferable, entitled brat (which I confess is how I feel after my child yells at me about how bored he is, despite a whole house full of toys, going to school, and hobbies!). Thinking about a kid playing alone as if it is a meditation is helpful for me. No one is good at it! It takes practice! Do a little bit, get distracted, then come back and focus! She also has nice guides about developmentally appropriate play and toys that can promote independently play for a wide age range.
PS- My kid is watching youtube as I write this. Im just a mere mortal.

[Allison R · Rating 5 out of 5]

But I’m Bored is a wonderful book that perfectly captures my philosophy around play. I love how Lizzie explains what play really is and why it’s so important for young children. She shares her expertise in a way that adds knowledge for parents without overwhelming or shaming them.

In a space where many social media influencers can feel pushy or preachy, Lizzie’s approach feels supportive and encouraging. Her ideas around play prompts align so closely with my own teaching philosophy and understanding of child development.

This book is an excellent resource for parents who aren’t child development experts—it offers clear, practical suggestions and real-life examples that make play feel accessible and doable. Truly a wonderful guide. Way to go!

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Lizzie’s social media while I was still in my teacher training program and instantly followed because she aligned so closely with my personal philosophy of education. Through 5 years in the classroom, I applied many of Lizzie’s ideas and strategies to help engage my students in their learning and give them ownership of our work together. Now, I’m at stay-at-home mom and I was stoked when I learned that Lizzie had written a book! I devoured this (as much as anyone actively parenting can devour a book) and found it to be both a really nice source to remind me “ok, I am doing some really wonderful things to support my child” and also to guide me in next steps today and into the future. I absolutely recommend “But I’m Bored” to anyone who has or loves young children.

[Annie Caruthers Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

The concepts in this book are simple - almost so deceptively so that I wasn’t sure if it was actually useful - but I started putting into practice the principle outlined and it really has improved independent play! It’s helped me build in pockets of connection that then lead into independent play for my toddler.

I like that the suggestions for independent play are all so straightforward. This book focuses on what you already have, and keeping it simple. No complicated set ups or having to be super creative and take time to make things for your kid to play with - just use the toys already at your disposal.

I’m excited to continue putting this book into action and it’s been really fun to see Ollie’s creativity shine through in his play!

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

But I'm Bored! is an incredibly helpful resource for any parent or caregiver who wants to nurture a child’s capacity for play. In a world where screens can feel like the easiest solution for keeping kids occupied, this book offers a refreshing, judgment-free framework for expanding both imaginative play and independent play skills.

I found myself highlighting many sections, and I know I’ll return to this book as my preschool-age son grows and we work on new stages of play together. Lizzie Assa provides practical insights that are both encouraging and realistic, making this a valuable guide for families.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing a copy of this book for review.

[Val Boshart | VKB READS 💕 · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ✨

Thank you NetGalley and Putnam for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book had me at the title. It was as if the author could see into my home!!

I really enjoy “self help” books but feel they sometimes run too long without enough substance, leaving me thinking “this could have been an article.” But this book felt like it was the perfect length and I was jotting down notes from start to finish.

I appreciated how realistic the author’s approach was, highlighting possible barriers or where you might take things too far and pulling you back in.

Highly recommend this to moms of littles!

[Stephanie]

I won this book as a Goodreads giveaway.

This book would be great for someone with a baby or toddler. The book indicates it's for kids 1-8. This book is really for the very young end of the spectrum. There is some advice for 8 year old range, but very little. Outside of the author's control is that my 8 year old is fairly intelligent and I think he is a bit beyond some of the advice.

Would have been a great book when my kids were babies, but I stand by saying it provides very little advice for parents with kids who aren't very little.

[Taylar Ernest · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley and Putnam for the advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for my honest review!

This was a great book to help introduce independent play to parents. It's the book I wish had been available when my girls first started becoming more interested in toys,they are now 2.5 and 4 years old. I found this book to be a great reminder and refresher for the wonders of independent play!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been anticipating this book for years! as a longtime follower of the Workspace for Children, I was ecstatic to pre-order Lizzie's book and dive into her recommendations whole-heartedly. I love knowing that her approach is grounded not only in education and work experience but also in the foundations and precedents she has set in her own home. Thank you for a beautiful guide to independent play and an encouraging read for this mama's heart!

[Jen White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of great ideas I can implement now with my under-2 toddler. I really excited to implement more in the future. Lizzie is wonderful about making her suggestions not feel mandatory or like “do this or you will fail.” She makes great effort to remind us that our family values and our children’s interests lead the way.

[Jana Josue · Rating 5 out of 5]

An easy add to my holy grail of parenting books bookshelf. This book has it all - research behind its ideas, practical application, and an intentional delivery to help parents feel like it’s all possible. I’ll be recommending to many friends and will read again.

[Alison Hartman]

I consider this the play equivalent to “How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk”. The independent play tips are practical and helpful, particularly when it comes to establishing a quiet time. I know I’ll be recommending this book over and over.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I used to follow her on Instagram (currently on a hiatus from Instagram) so I was excited to see her book in the wild. She writes and provides ideas in such an approachable way that it makes the book a quick
and fun read!

[Bridget Varley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very well written, easy to follow book. I liked her emphasis on doing what works for your family and home instead of blanket statements. I learned some new books and definitely will go back to this book as my daughter grows. Would recommend

[Debra Lynch · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book in a goodreads giveaway. I really enjoyed learning about independent play and am excited to implement the knowledge I've gained from this book.

[Jenna Thornton · Rating 4 out of 5]

wordy but helpful

Personally, I think she needed a better editor and to condense it a lot, but overall, a fantastic message and great advice!

[Sharon E · Rating 1 out of 5]

I never received information that I won

[Arwyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical and down-to-earth. This book does not cause pressure, but it is inspiring and provides attainable advice that centers around your own family values.

[Eleanor]

Didn’t finish because I felt like I had already learned most of the tactics I was learning just through being a parent.

[Emily Wehner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! It gave me some really practical helpful things to do with my kids in a way that didn’t feel overwhelming.

[Jen | Momsbookbreak · Rating 4 out of 5]

“But I’m Bored” is a solid guide for parents who want to emphasize independent play. If you’ve been around the block and read much of Janet Lansbury or Busy Toddler’s work, you probably don’t need to spend money on this one…this would be a great library checkout instead. As a former elementary school teacher and current mom, I have a long-standing interest in child development and have read a lot over the years. Even so, I still picked up some helpful reminders and felt newly motivated to go back to the basics (and to reorganize the playroom!).

If you’re a new parent or want a clear, encouraging refresher on child development and the importance of play, this is a great place to start. If you’re hoping for very practical, step-by-step strategies to help an older child work through boredom, that isn’t really the focus here. Much of the book is geared toward toddlers—which makes sense, since this is often when parents are first wrestling with these ideas. Still, it’s a reassuring, back-to-basics read that reinforces why play matters and why boredom isn’t something we need to rush to fix.

Thank you to @netgalley and @putnambooks for the advance copy. All thoughts and opinions are my own.