“Kids, Wait Til You Hear This” is the autobiography of EGOT icon Liza Minnelli. This fascinating, untold story reveals the intimate truth of the only child born to Hollywood legends Vincent Minnelli and Judy Garland. For the first time, here is Liza up Raw, strong, sexy, hilarious and heartbreaking. Liza decided at the age of 16 that “sympathy is my mother’s business. I give people joy.” That veil of joy, however, masks a lifelong struggle with Substance Use Disorder, hunger for love, broken marriages, multiple miscarriages, and hospitalizations—the highs and lows of unparalleled artistic success and lifelong friendships, as well as chronic anxiety and the threat of financial ruin. Despite every challenge, Liza’s is a life wrapped in laughter. Today at nearly 80, she opens her heart, mind and memories, sharing secrets we never knew. Liza’s book celebrates supreme artistry and, more importantly, her human rights activism. “It’s time to tell the truth, Liza says, “and help people heal, as I have, one day at a time.”
I feel at least four times more gay after completing LIza Minnelli's long-awaited memoir, Kids, Wait Till you Hear This!. And I was pretty gay before. Not because I spent several days steeped in Liza's world of the musical theater, as costumed by Halston and scored by Kander and Ebb, though I did come away with a slight case of Fosse neck. Not because Liza has seemingly slept with more gay men than I ever could. No, it was because Liza's memoir was a hypodermic of high camp, plunged straight into my grateful little heart.
Pianist Michael Feinstein, Liza's most persistent friend of Dorothy (and yes, one of her past lovers), sets the book's tone by spending his introduction crabbing about Kristen Wiig's SNL sketch, "Liza Minnelli Tries to Turn Off a Lamp." He doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks. It's not funny. Wiig isn't funny. And SNL or anyone else who's imitated Liza over the years should owe her royalties, dammit. Liza joins his disgruntlement world tour before page ten, damning Lady Gaga as a malignant saboteur and promising an autobiography full of truth telling, error correcting, and score settling. Boy, does she deliver, especially on the last front.
Kids is the kind of memoir with passages that read along the lines of "I heard the screams the night my chum Cheryl Turner daughter of Lana murdered her stepfather, but that is not my story to tell,” then later call back to these lurid words when infant Liza accidentally kicks Mama (that would be renowned actress Judy Garland, to the likes of you) in the head and describes Judy's outrage as, "but it wasn’t as bad as the screams from Lana Turner’s house.” Ouch. That's a literary choice. It's the kind of memoir in which Liza, fresh from her Oscar-winning performance in Cabaret, joins the cast of Lucky Lady and encounters nothing but rudeness and abuse from co-star Gene Hackman—then more or less concludes with (I'm paraphrasing, but not by much) "He was horrible to me! Horrible! I was really really really sad years later when he starved to death after his wife passed away, though, winky-face emoji, crossed-fingers emoji, face with halo emoji."
Savage!
It's also the kind of book in which Liza's feud with Lady Gaga at the 2022 Oscars occupies more real estate than the making and reception of all her post-Cabaret movies combined. And that's kind of a pity, because although I thrilled every time Liza sharpened her nails to take out someone who wronged her (the section about final husband David Gest is brutal), I mostly was hoping for her lively take on the art she created in the wake of sequins and heavy perfume she left through the last six decades.
The books earliest chapters, particularly those that delve into her often fraught relationship with Garland, are the most satisfying. By the time Liza's independent enough to be having a streetside brawl with her lover Martin Scorsese about having slept with Mikhail Baryshnikov (Liza: "Who wouldn't?!"), while Liza's current husband was right there watching, the messiness was beginning to make me check out, a little.
But along the way are hundreds of camp little moments, such as the glamorous weekly Monday-night Hollywood parties Liza would throw that simply everybody attended— Whoopi, Anjelica, Janet, Rosie, Roddy, Mizrahi, Quentin, Madonna—to enjoy the buffet that she served from elegant Elsa Peretti-designed sterling silver bowls piled high with…KFC. Or the time she invented the moonwalk and taught it to Michael Jackson. Or the time she, and I quote, "crunked it up" to a Mary J. Blige song. More than once she gets the details wrong: Donna Summer smash single wasn't "Hot Love." It was "Hot Stuff," Liza.
But Liza's determination to appear omnipresent in over a half-century of popular culture and to remain ever-current and hip (she is such a fan of Chappell Roan, y'all) lends this enjoyable, gossipy memoir an edge of unreality as artificial and exaggerated as Ms. Minnelli's eyelashes.
Finished 5⭐️. Loved this book. Written in a warm, conversational voice, it moves through her childhood as the daughter of Judy Garland and Vincente Minnelli, her early steps into show business, and the meteoric rise that followed with stage performances, films, and her unforgettable role in Cabaret.
What comes through most strongly is her resilience. The book is a no-holds-barred look at her stratospheric highs and very low lows. She writes openly about her health issues , some caused by aging, some by substance abuse. All of it was new to me, so this book led me down so many rabbit holes — heading off to YouTube to watch performances and interviews that expand on segments from the book. Loved them all.
Toward the end of the book, Minnelli also reflects on some of her later appearances, including her brief but memorable role in Arrested Development. Her performance was wonderfully eccentric and, arguably, even funnier than her scene-stealing turn in Arthur, showing that her comic timing remained as sharp as ever.
Overall, the autobiography is an engaging portrait of a performer who has lived through triumph, hardship, reinvention, and enduring fame. Minnelli’s voice on the page feels authentic—funny, emotional, and unmistakably her own
Liza Minnelli’s music has been a part of my life since I was very little, I have loved her presence and her beautiful voice since the first day I heard it and saw her on screen. I listened to the audio whilst reading along to the book. I can truly say, it was wonderful to listen to Liza tell her story with so much passion and gratitude, She is a beautiful person and I will hold this book very dear to my heart. Thank you Liza for finally telling your story, you are a brave, talented, compassionate and beautiful woman one of the very best this world has ever seen.
Hats off to Liza for sharing her story. There is kiss-and-tell (good and bad), celebrity friend stories(Uncle Frank, substitute mom Liz, Princess Diana, babysitting Ronnie and many more), marriage details (bad David Gest), and backstage insight to her greatest performances for the youngest EGOT winner.
Sad learning about how she had to take care of her mom at a young age, and how Liza struggled and overcame her same addictions.
Best were the stories of her performances. How lucky are the individuals who have seen her live. Liza was born to entertain!
A very readable account of her life and career. growing ups as the daughter of two Hollywood greats Judy Garland and Vincent Minnelli. She speaks candidly of what life was like and her own addictions which could have killed her. The Oscar and the Tony's she won. Well worth a read.
Liza Minnelli is a force, in the best way. She is fearlessly honest, funny, smart and very real. I enjoyed getting to know her better. This is a great memoir. Thanks to Michael Feinstein, too, for being such a great friend to Liza.
A memoir that hits all the points you would expect but perhaps with a little more juice and drama than other stars have been willing to give in the past. That chapter on Lady Gaga and the Oscars, WOW... 👀
I could not wait to read this as I've been a Liza fan for as long as I can remember. She's the last of the true old-school show business types, and as far as I am concerned, an American treasure.
Anyone who knows anything about Liza knows she has, to put it mildly, been THROUGH IT. And this book brings us just that: just enough details about her career highlights, career mishaps, multiple marriages , addiction, health issues...all of it. And oh yeah: the whole being the daughter of an ICON and a Hollywood director thing!
Chapter 10: "My Marriage From Hell" had me HOWLING. If you remember her whole bizarre marriage to David Gest in 2002, it's hilarious to read about it again, and fortunately for us, Liza is extra sassy in this chapter and isn't afraid to laugh about the whole debacle now.
I devoured this book, not at all surprised by anything I read in it. My admiration for her perhaps did grow somewhat: I've always thought of her as a real tough, no-nonsense survivor (yep, her story confirms that!). But, what stands out is her ability to be real. Not just about herself, but everyone she chose to speak about. A deep love and appreciation for her mother? Absolutely. But Liza was not afraid to speak of Judy's flaws, and how they shaped her and continue to do so.
Glad she finally got around to tell her story, her way. Because it's a very very interesting one!
3.75 rounded up. This was an interesting view of her life and she said she wanted to tell her own story and put rumors to rest. I think if you had followed her life I don’t know if this was really a deep dive or just a few more tidbits to what was already public. If you didn’t know much about her life this might seem pretty deep (I didn’t know a ton so I learned a lot but upon googling it seems like l everything was already pretty well known?)
Liza's book reads like Liza's shows---she knows how to entertain! She's a great storyteller. A couple of sections required skimming (too much about her co-writer as expected but it be that way) but a pleasant way to pass the afternoon nonetheless.
Stopped at 28%. I’m not invested enough in Minelli as an artist for the number of hours (18+) in this audiobook. Her career was already 25 years in before I was born, and I’m not the right audience