How to Be Less Miserable: End the Negative Mind Loops and Find Joy

by Lybi Ma

In How to Be Less Miserable, Lybi Ma, the executive editor of Psychology Today, provides strategies that challenge negative thinking and inspire a more positive mindset.

As human beings, we are all predisposed to a negative mindset. This tendency is a byproduct of the evolution of our species. Our hunter-gatherer ancestors had to stay vigilant at all times—what if a man-eating predator was lurking in their midst? It was more important to be aware of potential danger than to find food. It’s part of our genetic code, and we’ve carried this innate predisposition that something bad is about to happen to us into the twenty-first century. Even the most optimistic among us aren’t immune.

How to Be Less Miserable offers current research on the human brain’s tendency toward negative thinking, why we do it, why it’s so hard to stop doing it, and how we can use evidence-based methods to overcome the patterns that lead to anxiety, depression, and more. The author covers a wide range of topics,

healthy ways to pursue happiness;

how to overcome stress and anxiety;

tools for dealing with emotions;

building resiliency and mental flexibility;

the importance of social groups;

the perils of social media;

personal growth and the pursuit of passions;

and, being kind and true to yourself.

The strategies found in this book are based in large part on wisdom from the experts and researchers Lybi Ma has worked with throughout her career. They provide helpful and meaningful ways to manage and overcome negative thinking. Ultimately, How to Be Less Miserable is for anyone searching for a different way to think about emotional and mental health.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Audiobook

244 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 14, 2025

Reviews

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basic…no new research

[Mish Middelmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

What sets this book apart from other self help writing is the author's simple, direct style, and her sharing of ancient wisdom in such an accessible way. She embodies the twin pressures of modern life: surviving economically while remaining grounded and centred enough to achieve a measure of satisfaction. In the opening pages, these quotes made me feel at home:

"It takes an open mind to manage the uncertainties and negatives we encounter in life" and "I sit in nature, listen to my body, connect with others, know what I value, and try not to fight with life."

Most touching for me are the many generations of family stories, shared in short and powerful snippets throughout the book. In her own life and that of her parents and grandparents, and even further back, there's no dodging difficulties or claiming easy victories. Rather, difficulties are taken for what they are, and treated as sources of learning and resilience. This resonates with me. Her stories are also funny and direct:

As a child, if I sat around feeling sorry for myself, my mother would gently rap her knuckles on the top of my head and admonish me. “So selfish,” she would say. “Go clean toilet.”

People who have become caught up with geopolitical conflicts could benefit by taking on both the benefits and drawbacks of both eastern and western culture:

Western culture does sometimes feed the “monkey mind,” where the inner voice worries and churns, but Western culture also encourages positive cultural aspirations like personal freedom and individual expression. In turn, Eastern thought promotes important aspects of living, such as harmony with others and detachment from desires that may make us miserable. I am taking the best of the two worlds that have shaped who I am, and I am sharing that here. In doing so, I’m hoping to address why we suffer from constant negativity and how to find ways out of that mindset. Hopefully, we can all be a little “less miserable” as a result.

Writing for an audience that expects quick answers, Ma gives simple, direct advice backed by just enough science to underpin what she is saying - with meticulous footnotes for those who want to go deeper.

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hmmmm…. Well, I am in fact as miserable as when I started but it is still an often helpful book. Ma relies a lot on stories about her late mother who was a Chinese immigrant and her extended family, as well on the advice of experts on everything from Buddhism to the vagus nerve to forest bathing and lots of psychological studies.

At times the stories felt dismissive. For instance, she writes about her great grandfather being beheaded in the street and her great grandmother being seized as a consort who was allowed to milk a cow every day for years and buy her freedom. Ma’s grandmother and other relatives taught her to just “eat bitter” and accept the unpleasantness of life. It’s hard to justify feeling sad about your own grief and trauma after a story like that, and it reminds me of the high school friend who told me that there were people who were locked in basements their whole lives and were now happy so I should get over the traumas and abuse that I was struggling with.

This isn’t a book that will necessarily help if you are mourning, dealing with severe depression or complex PTSD, recovering from abuse, or struggling with other real mental health issues. Ma is the editor of Psychology Today and this is reflected in the book. However, it does go into helpful tools and interesting stories.

I read a digital version of this book for review.

[Tiffany Kasper · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a mixed experience for me. I appreciated that Ma clearly cites her sources and research, but the book leaned heavily on other people’s work to the point where it started to feel repetitive rather than fresh. I didn’t walk away with anything particularly new, novel, or mind-blowing.

That said, I’m also coming at this as a therapist, so much of the material was already familiar to me. Because of that, I’m not sure I’d recommend this book to clients. It might feel overwhelming or even boring for some, depending on where they’re at. Some chapters felt relevant and engaging, while others missed the mark.

One thing that genuinely bothered me was the mislabeling of Brené Brown as a psychologist (she’s a social worker), which felt like a careless oversight. The strongest part of the book, in my opinion, was the chapter on being authentic and genuine with positivity. That section felt grounded and useful. After that, my focus waned again.

At times, the tone veered a little too close to toxic positivity, which didn’t feel especially helpful given the reality of the world we’re living in. Still, it wasn’t all bad. There were definitely some helpful nuggets scattered throughout.

Overall, How to Be Less Miserable has its moments, but it didn’t offer anything particularly new or earth-shattering. A decent read, just not one that truly stood out for me.

[Suzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This audiobook was easy to listen to, written very positively, and gave great tips on how to try to rewire our brains from defaulting to the negative. I didn't really learn anything new, and already practice many of the tips, but I still enjoyed listening to the content and hearing the author's stories.

[Shannon Young · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was unoriginal. I didn’t learn any new tricks and recommend against others spending their money to listen to the author state the obvious. Eat well, exercise, meditate, find balance, comparison is the theft of joy, garden, don’t do things to excess, find a sense of community. Now you have the gist.

[Dorothy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Touches on the surface of a lot of great topics. I was hoping for a deeper dive , but it’s possible I’ve just read too much personal development/ self help. This is better for those who aren’t as deep in the genre.