✰ 2.5 stars ✰
“I guess because sometimes we don’t understand right away how things—or people—fit into our lives.”
“It takes some time to make room.”
The total lack of regard authors are now exhibiting to dodge the important & absolutely necessary fall-out conversations that have, if not should be addressed, considering the emotional whiplash they inflict upon said characters - has got to stop. 🚫
I am not happy with this lack of closure; how we build stories on these affairs of the heart that definitely need to be talked about and just pushed under the rug, because we've already spent so much time not talking about it - it is too upsetting and frustrating to actually feel any sympathy or even feel satisfied with the end result. 🥺
I wish I could say that it was as heartwarming and as heartfelt as others; but, I can't. 🙅🏻♀️ I cannot overlook how Peanut has struggled for so long of her eleven years, only to have her whole life upended with the abrupt arrival of Libby in her midst - hoping that she would have the answers to the questions she was unable to figure out - when so much of what was at stake was something so important to both of them - for different reasons, surprisingly.
Would I be remiss to say that there is a hint of magical realism to this that should have been mentioned? The entire premise of similarities between that of Peanut's life and the Falling Children was so bizarre that to not mention means that it did not matter, and we should just accept it for what it was. 😮💨 Fine. I'll bite. But, there was just this really weird chaotic sense to the town, itself, that seemed like it was a story within a story. At times I thought Libby had actually been here before and that Falling Children was inspired by her time here.
“Everyone has their own shit. Just in different flavors.”
No one prepared me for how devastatingly bleak Peanut's own life would be. No one prepared me to fall into the Depths of Despair before Libby felt that she had finally found the place she could belong to. The depths of which Peanut anguished not only for her love for a book series and characters she felt she was losing - it was her own family and people around her that really...
Disgusted is a harsh word - hurtful and so blatantly disregarding of her own well-being, how can you expect me to believe that after eleven years of living and feeling one way and then just suddenly turn the tables like that and not even have a decent conversation regarding it... 💔💔😣😣 It feels so disrespectful and such a cheap shot of avoiding the point that has burdened her for this long. Such mean-spirited and spiteful acts - is it to show the intense hatred and ignorance of those we know... A teacher who draws a line across her neck - who does that?? 😢
Perhaps I am the only one who sees it as the writing taking the easy way out of showing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 😞 But, it was not worth the pay-off without seeing it in full. I did not feel any heartwarming feelings for Peanut's plight, nor her own dismal thoughts leading up to her sudden decision, let alone how her 'family' treated her afterwards. It was not - shameful, is the only word I think feels justified in explaining it. 🙎🏻♀️
I did look forward to seeing how a world renowned author like forty-year-old Libby aka F.T Goldhero, would find a way to connect with a diehard fan like eleven-year-old Peanut in Blue Springs, Colorado. 📚 Someone who might very well be the only person who could save her forgotten memories of her very own beloved characters in a series that she's slowly losing control over, because of her impending illness - dementia. It was built in a very mysterious and gripping light that had me even speculating just how exactly Peanut would be her answer. 😟
“Has your life ever been so shitty that you just want to hide from the real world and never come out?”
My emotions fluctuated as frequently as the writing shifted between whimsy and serious. I certainly highlighted plenty of memorable and insightful quotes; but, coming from people who I did not particularly like - makes it harder for me to appreciate them. 😒 Aside from Buzz, none of the characters appealed to me. The author gave so many little snippets to each of their personalities that I could only empathize with them briefly before we moved on; the Unstopping - there is a whole tragic story to them that I felt was just brushed aside - 'he can hide for infinity in the feelings no one wants: loneliness, disappointment, shame, regret'. 😥 It just made me sad and frustrated that again - books are treating victims of suffering and abuse as ones who we can create stories out of. Isn't there something wrong with that concept?
Even Libby...
The thing about Libby - I did not like that the author made her such a lost figure even before her illness. I feel like authors are now taking advantage of those who are alone and having readers feed off that loneliness and aloneness to make them sympathize with their situations... 😟 I don't think I am explaining it right, but I felt like I had to care for her - even without how she was digressing rapidly; it was a tangible, if not visceral lost feeling that was captured intimately and intensely. That heightened fear and nauseous uneasiness translated well off the pages. The overwhelming realization of not being able to have any self-control over her thoughts and actions was a frightening experience to witness.
And I am happy that she was able to feel a little at ease - to be comforted for her own shortcomings and misfortunes. But, the way everything exploded even in terms of fanfare and fanwars - it was vehemently realistic, despite feeling also strangely unrealistic, too, to the point of being outlandishly inaccurate. 'Don’t take this personally. It’s how life works.' The incredulity of how the fervor just swept in this frenzy, maybe, was to also highlight how swiftly her own debilitating state was taking over her mind and subconscious. It was not that it was over the top - it just felt so magical and surreal that I could not take it seriously enough...
“This world is full of answers we don’t like. We live with them anyway now, don’t we?”
I'm sure a lot of people will feel that Libby: Lost and Found is as heartfelt as the cover that makes me feel like it is a soft-natured story that delves into matters not too heavy. But I was so hurt most of the time - even when the mystery reveal was an obvious one - the hurt and pain and deception leading up to it was painful. 😢 And still, we still do leave on a hopeful note; it is rewarding to see Libby and Peanut find their happiness - that they were able to repel the light. How their respective personalities counterbalanced the other in order for each to gain the strength and hope they had lost for themselves. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I'm sure that a lot of authors and readers will relate to the reactions of how their beloved series may be disrespected or that it won't meet expectations. I'm sure people will like the sweet and gentle, if not understanding way in which Libby finds a way to forgive and connect with not only herself, but her characters, too. I just felt that the struggle was too painstaking and everyone was just so horrid and deceptive at times, if not deliberately misleading and not at all redeemable in its ability for me to see eye-to-eye with it. 😔