Drystone: A Life Rebuilt

by Kristie De Garis

Kristie De Garis spent years running – from places, people and parts of herself. But chaos always followed.

When she moved to rural Scotland, she hoped to find peace. Instead, in the space and silence, she was forced to confront everything she had tried to racism, trauma, undiagnosed ADHD, addiction and the stark realities of motherhood.

Then, in the land around her – and in the slow, stubborn craft of drystone walling – she began to see a different life. One that was quiet, deliberate, and her own.

A Life Rebuilt is unflinchingly honest and unexpectedly funny. A story about the weight of the past, resilience and the hard work of living on your own terms.

Some things may never change. What matters is the life you build anyway.

Genres: Nonfiction

232 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 7, 2025

About the author

Kristie De Garis is a Scottish writer, photographer, and drystone waller. Her debut memoir, Drystone – A Life Rebuilt, weaves together stories of landscape, labour, motherhood, identity, and recovery. She’s one of very few women working in the traditional craft of drystone walling, and brings that same grounded, deliberate energy to her writing. In rural Scotland, with her two daughters and her two-ex husbands, Kristie lives a quiet and carefully curated life.

Reviews

[Kim Lockhart · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author, who stepped out of the proverbial fire, could have been resigned to live as a ghost of herself, but instead she worked to reclaim her life. By repairing the integrity of crumbling drystone walls, she found the strength that comes through achieving balance, the kind that shores up the foundation of the self. By learning to be intentional, she found harmony with the people in her life.

Those who have been broken have a talent for shoring up whatever has fallen apart, because instinctively, they can pinpoint weaknesses. The author shows us that rather than sublimating our emotions and experiences, we can acknowledge their existence, and strengthen everything around them until all pressures are balanced, and they ultimately become what holds us together.

[Black Bibliophile · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really really enjoyed this one. Kristie speaks with a clarity about her life experiences and we are a witness to both her undoing and her rebuilding, through drystone and through life. A top 10 read of this year.

[Kelly Gunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book that I didn’t want to put down. A compelling read that is beautifully written. From the descriptions of the Scottish nature and landscapes that made me believe I was stood amongst it, to the honest, raw, heart wrenching (but also at times humorously written) story of how Kristie navigated an oftentimes traumatic childhood and early adulthood to find her place in life. She writes in a way that is relatable and made me question things in life that I’d never previously considered. A must read!

[Svea Vikander · Rating 5 out of 5]

De Garis tells a story of coming to peace. The journey is tough: through violence, addiction, shame, racism, and online dating. But the reward is magnificent.

Also: some of the best nature writing I have ever read.

[Jason Thornbrugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading "Drystone: A Life Rebuilt" felt like finding a companion on a lonely road. Kristie De Garis writes with candor and courage. She is a drystone waller by trade. It makes sense that she would use the metaphor of rebuilding a drystone wall to frame her memoir. The wall becomes a symbol of the slow, deliberate work of repairing a life fractured by misunderstanding, racism, sexism, and undiagnosed neurodivergence.

Her story validated my own experiences with ADHD and depression. Like Kristie, I struggled in school despite being intelligent, felt like an outsider, and turned to self‑medicating when support was lacking. Her late discovery, diagnosis and treatment mirrored my own journey. Reading her account gave me the confidence to seek treatment in the form of medicine and therapy. They helped me to stop reacting to everything and finally quieted my mind.

The book is intimate and direct. Early chapters are fragmented, reflecting her fractured childhood memories and self image, but the structure ultimately deepens the emotional truth. A particular suppressed memory (spoiler) arrived out of sequence. It was gut‑wrenching. I wanted to defend her from all of the pain. Her accounts of racism in Scotland are powerful. She is conflicted in that she doesn't want to be discriminated against as a "Paki" nor does she want to just "pass" as Scottish. What I wanted more of was how she celebrates her Pakistani heritage and how she wants to be seen in the world.

Still, the memoir’s greatest strength is its honesty. Kristie writes without excuses, and her sincerity makes the book both painful and hopeful. It reminded me that I am not alone, that my struggles are not unique, and that it is never too late to rebuild.

Quote: “For as long as I could remember, I strongly suspected that I must be better than the mess I actually was.... Managing undiagnosed neurodiversity in a world that expects neurotypical compliance is impossible.”

Strongly recommend. This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time, and I will return to it again and again.

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

I approached this book from the perspective of someone interested in drystone walling having completed a brief course many years ago. My interest in the course was primarily to repair a retaining wall within my garden against annual earth heave. Of course, the approach and method was far more nuanced and complicated than I initially appreciated so it was engrossing, more a puzzle to solve than following an instruction booklet. I recall one Spring, after a significant part of the wall had fallen, rebuilding it stone by stone with a friendly local builder, only for him to "cheat" and put in a layer of cement under the copes without my knowledge. Over the years, my chagrin at this artificial intrusion has lessened largely because the wall has not collapsed since, and given that it is located at the foot of a coastal slope, that is quite remarkable.

There are few readable books on drystone walling and this is one of them. But, anyone picking it up for that reason will find that the practice of drystone arrives very late on in the narrative. The practice and techniques are instead used mostly as an analogy for living life and constantly finding ways to rebuild after traumas and disasters. In that regard, it works very well and elevates the author's story very poignantly.

The author's life is complex; a perfect storm of trauma at times. If this book had been a novel, I may have concluded that the protagonist's life was too full of problems and issues to be credible especially the ones where her repetitive unwise decisions make matters even worse for her. But, since it is an autobiography, in that context, it is very powerful and insightful. She examines herself as harshly (perhaps "dissects" is a more accurate word given how deep and excruciatingly painfully this process goes) as she judges those who enter her life. Whilst many problems may have arisen anyway from her own family upbringing and a long undiagnosed battle with ADHD, the societal pressures and complicity against her being a constantly questioning woman with a sense of her own worth and coming from Pakistani descent, invariably heightens everything to true breaking point at times. The book contains a description of personal relationships and encounters which are not often analysed as deeply (or as shockingly) as this. I suspect that she is totally correct in her intuitions but it is a difficult read at times.

This book will easily break down the complacency of the any reader who honestly feels that racism, bigotry or sexism have been significantly reduced over the last half century with our far more "enlightened" approaches and outlook. If anything, to those at the coalface of abuse like the author, the same poison just seeps out in different ways and is brushed under the rug in more subtle ways which allow the majority of admittedly decent folk to feel better about themselves, and thereafter, less watchful or self-aware. Instead of an openly bigoted 1970's Alf Garnett, we just get a 2020's Perth and Kinross Council conducting an investigation of Crieff High School's racism problem in the most cack-handed way possible to minimise damage to its reputation - and then not being seriously questioned about its window-dressing exercise by any mainstream media. In that regard, her use of Burns' lines "O Wad some God, the giftie gie us/to see ourselves as ither's see us." applies to society as a collective and not just individuals within it.

As I write this, Reform UK is pushing 30% in the polls in Scotland. Whatever happened to Jock Tamson's bairns? They've sadly lost their way on the road from Duddingston Kirk to Whitburn.

[Kevin Crowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her unflinching memoir "Drystone: A Life Rebuilt", Kristie De Garis describes a Caithness childhood where, as a mixed race child, she experienced racism, abuse and prejudice; her years as an adult, a single mother and a functioning alcoholic in Edinburgh; and her move to rural Perthshire where she discovered the calming therapy of drystone wall building and where she shares her life with her two children and two ex-husbands.

Each chapter begins with a description of one of the processes involved in building a drystone wall, processes that she then uses to help her focus in on a period of her life. In her explicit descriptions of the abuse she has suffered, the effects of her alcoholism on those around her (including her children) and her various and only partially successful attempts to move on, she writes with a stark and painful honesty. She refuses to justify the mistakes she has made, nor does she offer excuses for those who have damaged her.

Her memoir is both angry and joyful, with her awful experiences leavened by touches of humour. Whether she is describing white middle class liberals who refuse to accept she is mixed race, the racist violence she experiences at school in Caithness, the racism her children experience from both peers and teachers, the men who have abused her, the officials who question whether she is a fit mother, her own ADHD or her own mistakes, she pulls no punches.

[Forrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was visually and beautifully written. Kristie's honesty has a way of encouraging that within the reader. This book had me questioning things about myself that I had taken for granted. She has a way of connecting dots without drawing hard lines. It's one you won't put down - her words take you on a journey, into the story of her life that echoes pieces you will certainly find mirrored in your own. Kristie's voice and story are important pieces of the story that we're hoping to tell of the future - and it starts by looking into the past with enough bravery that lets you see something for what it is, so that it might start to become something different. Go get yourself a copy.

[Paddy Fagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book written with a blinding honesty. I found it harrowing to read, but still compelling. There is (for me) a necessary discomfort too, the trauma that the author suffered through her life is so far removed from my own (pale, male) life experience.
There is a lightness that arrives as the book progresses, not a happy ending, but a lightening of the load. I can only be left hoping that the authors journey continues to lighten the load in the future.
Perhaps for me too as the reader, there's some extra compassion to be drawn from the book, as I look out in to the world to see that others may have a life experience more like Kristie's than my own.

[Bianka · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is deeply moving, insightful, witty, and above all, honest. Kristie establishes a wonderful connection with the reader on every page of the book. You will find yourself drawing parallels between all points in your life and hers. The book quickly took hold of me, and I found it hard to put down. No matter who you are, I think you will gain something in reading this, whether it be strength, a new understanding on some harrowing topics and experiences, or just entertainment. I couldn't recommend it enough.

[Falko · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was really an awesome read. I love her style of writing. It's incredible how she puts all that misery and devastating stuff she had to go through in clear words. It's brutal to read at time because of her honesty. She doesn't spare anyone, not even herself. But every chapter also has hope and development and eventually takes her to herself.
Very powerful, well written, honest and funny at times. Everyone should read this book.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's an incredible read—a refreshingly honest and beautifully written memoir. Kristie's words will have you fully immersed for the entire experience. It's a story of hardship, resilience, rebuilding and hope. It will bring tears, resonance, reflection and presence. A must read for all.

[S · Rating 5 out of 5]

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