The Contradiction of Solitude

by A. Meredith Walters

You may notice me, but you will never know me.
I prefer it that way.
I am the daughter of a monster.
Born from blood and lies.
Dead before I have truly lived.
But Elian tells me that I'm different.
He tells me that I'm beautiful.
That I'm an enigma wrapped in irresistibly complicated skin.
Elian says that he loves me.
These words terrify me.
I can't trust love.
Or hope.
Or truth.
Because I fear the beast inside.
It threatens to drown Elian and his sweet, unconditional love.
It's a beast that will destroy everything.

*This is a psychological thriller and very different than my previous books*

Genres: Dark, New Adult, Romance, Thriller, Mystery Thriller, Contemporary, Suspense

ebook

First published March 5, 2015

About the author

The New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Contemporary and New Adult romances including the Bad Rep, Find You in the Dark, Reclaiming the Sand, and Twisted Love series.

Follow her on-

Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1CkvffQ

Twitter: @AuthorAMWalters

Instagram: a.meredith.walters

Reviews

[Aestas Book Blog]

::: FULL REVIEW NOW POSTED :::

This was me when I finished the book:

"I wondered about the scars. I wondered about his false smiles. I wondered about Elian Beyer and his many, many secrets."

NOTE: This is a psychological thriller, not a romance.

Holy wow, this was DARK and TWISTED!!! But also unputdownable. My mind was spinning in a thousand directions, coming up with endless theories, as I tried to figure out what would happen next.

I want you to know up front that this book is not at all like any of the other ones I usually read and review. Not at all. It's outside the box. Waaaaaaaay way way outside the box. But, I was in the mood for something just totally and completely different than my usual. Sometimes you just need that, and this book gave me exactly that. — It was dark and twisted, the ending was shocking, and my expression after finishing the book was pretty much just like the gif above, BUT the writing was absolutely incredible -- I'm really, WOW!!!! -- and the story was unique and thrilling so I'm really glad I gave it a shot (even though I still do wish it could have had a different ending.... my romantic heart is programmed to wish for that. I can't help it).

This is a spoiler-free review. I'm not going to give anything away regarding the plot but I will say this: if you're a romance reader and you're going to read this, you'll have to throw all of your "rules" right out the window, okay? Even though there is a love story in this, remember that this is a psychological thriller. That genre is completely and totally different. So just keep that in mind always, and you'll be fine.

Guys, the writing was STUNNING and utterly captivating. I honestly can't praise the writing highly enough. This book was truly a work of art. I have countless passages in my book highlighted!

“Her eyes gave her away. Dark and wide and bottomless. Coal black. They were sad and devoid of light. But I knew there was a soul inside there somewhere.
Or at least I hoped so.”

What's the story about? Hmmm, I'm reluctant to tell you more than the blurb. In fact, I strongly suggest that you don't go trying to find out what it's about in advance of reading. If you're intrigued, just dive in. Here's a part from the blurb...

You may notice me, but you will never know me.
I prefer it that way.
I am the daughter of a monster...
But Elian tells me that I'm different.
He tells me that I'm beautiful... that he loves me.
These words terrify me.
I can't trust love.
Or hope.
Or truth.
Because I fear the beast inside.
It threatens to drown Elian and his sweet, unconditional love.
It's a beast that will destroy everything.

So many different possibilities raced through my head as I read. At first I had no idea what to think, then I was sure it was one thing, then absolutely positive it was something else... my theories kept changing until I finally settled on one I was sure was right. Turns out, I was almost right in the end.

A lot of people liked him.
But they didn’t know him.
But I would know him. He wanted me to. With every discreet glance and every subtle touch, he pulled me closer.
I drew him in.
We were falling… falling… collapsing into each other.

Then as I read more, I began to get seriously creeped the hell out. Like really! But I was also strangely fascinated. This book really highlights how many different sides a person can have. And how vastly different the person they really are on the inside can be from the persona that they show the world. The dark secrets that stay hidden can be terrifying. And twisted.

Fuck the universe.
Fuck fate.
Fuck whatever gods threw that beautiful, beautiful woman in my path and made me love her. She was everything I longed for. She was everything I had ever desired. She was complicated. She was a mystery. She was depth and intensity behind coal black eyes.

I... I don't even know what to say about the ending. I don't want to give anything away, but I want to be sure you know what to expect. It is a standalone -- no cliffhanger. But it was a very hard ending for my romantic heart to accept, especially when another possibility was so easily within reach. I can't really fault the book though because a) I was warned in the blurb, and b) the ending makes total sense given that this book is a thriller.

It's dark and twisted.
D a r k . a n d . t w i s t e d.
DARK --- AND --- TWISTED.

Okay?

Be warned. Be prepared. And, if you're feeling brave (and open-minded)... dive in!

Standalone dark psychological thriller (not romance). No cliffhanger. Contemporary (not paranormal).

Note: I didn't rate it on purpose. I have no idea how to rate a story like this, but that's not at all a bad thing. The writing was utterly amazing. The story was captivating. But ... I'm torn up about the ending because of the reasons I explained above. Sometimes its too hard to quantify my emotions down to a single number, but that's okay! Hopefully the review will give you enough to go on.

_______________________________________

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[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+ STARS!! ★★★★★



"The truth is the ugly side no one wants to see."

I will start my review by firstly saying this: I REFUSE TO SPOIL ANYONE ABOUT THIS AMAZEBALLS READ. NOPE. ZILCH. NIL. You will get nothing from me about the details of this plot because this book thrives on the ambiguity and holy freakin hell did it send me into a deep dark bottomless hole. Honestly, just take the blurb and go into this read. That's what I did and I came out feeling like my mind has been utterly blown. My brain is crying right now, everyone. CRYING.



Now that we've got that covered, I'm still trying to piece all my thoughts together, so bear with me. Honestly I'm sitting here at 4am trying to write this out and after 3 cups of coffee, my brain is still befuddled. Let me begin by saying I love this author's works, she's capable of writing emotionally-driven reads that had me crippled and left my crying in my feels. Her words have the power to evoke every single humanly possible emotions in me.

But this one? HOLY HELL THIS ONE. Did I miss the memo where A. Meredith Walters writes brilliant psychological thrillers? Because newsflash everyone, A. Meredith Walters just wrote an absolutely mind-gripping psychological thriller read that has not only crippled my mind but it has shaken me to the core that has left me trembling in fear AND awe of what I've just read.

See that contradiction there?

She has completely outdone herself by stepping out of her comfort zone, out of her usual niche and still nailed it by mixing up the NA genre with a psych-thriller element. Her slight flowery prose was done just right without coming off as OTT and instead, it brought up the creepily eerie feels that had me having goosebumps as I embraced myself for this dark, crazy ride.



And as the title suggests, this read will be riddled with contradictions and I love how the author has brilliantly weaved all of them with such intricacy that left me astounded. There were times I had to take a moment and appreciate these contradictions, so to speak. And these characters that you will meet? The complexity behind them and as you slowly pick up the breadcrumbs and learn more, that's when your mind starts going into a tailspin. This read will mess with you in ways that you will not see coming. Being able to have it from dual POVs certainly helped a lot but it also started to amplify the craziness behind it.

"We were perfect in our mad sanity."

If I had to sum up this read, all I can say that it was unique, refreshing, addicting and totally messed up in ways I cannot even imagine. Although I must say this, it's definitely somewhere high up on the dark scale and I can't say that it will appeal to everyone because the romance is almost non-existent (a fair warning to romance junkies).

But if you love the dark, messed up ones with a heavy dose of psychological thriller that screams utter brilliance? YES THIS IS FOR YOU.

If otherwise, I still urge you to give it a shot. This is Ms Walters' work at its best.

Also that ending was absolutely perfect and befitting, I bow down to you Ms Walters and with that, The Contradiction of Solitude had just landed on my Best of 2015 reads shelf :) Thank you for having the courage to put out something different and taking that risk, I loved it! ♥

A word of advice: #keepthesecret ;)

The Contradiction of Solitude is a standalone NA psychological thriller read.

[Patrycja · Rating 2 out of 5]

Title: The Contradiction of Solitude
Series: Standalone
Author: A Meredith Walters
Release Date: 5 March, 2015
Rating: 2.5 stars
Cliffhanger:. No
HEA: No






I’ve been picking my brain all day, wondering how or even if I should review The Contradiction of Solitude. It’s not an easy novel to write about. Firstly, because it’s too messed up and too complex to really show in a simple review what it’s about without shredding all of the mystery. Secondly, because I just don’t know what to think about it. Did I hate it? Did I like it? Did I find it too much, was it too gritty or on the contrary was it too blasé?

I feel emotionally drenched. I know that what I wrote here probably won’t make it any easier for you to decide if Meredith Walter’s novel is something you want to read. Perhaps, my review will make it even harder for you. In advance I am sorry for that.

I decided I won’t be summarizing what this book is about, which I mostly do in the first part of my reviews. It’s impossible to do so without giving away the all plot. If you want to know what this story is about, I wrote it all down there at the end of my review in a spoiler. Beware, I also included the ending there, so better think it through before you decide to read it. For those of you who don’t want to spoil themselves the mystery, don’t even think of getting close to clicking on any of the spoiler tags. You will really hate me if you do. And I don’t want you to hate me! I want you to love me :)

"We were perfect in our mad sanity."

The Contradiction of Solitude pulled me from the beginning. The first pages were heart pounding, emotional roller coaster and brain wrecker. It was nearly impossible for me to unglue my eyes from the text. I guess, I can compare my brain then to a hamster on a cartwheel, it was speeding so fast with all those ideas and theories. And I loved that. I really did.

However, I also felt uneasy. My hands started sweating, my heart nearly exploding from fear of in which direction the plot was going in. I quickly realized what was going on and… well, let’s just say I didn’t like that. Firstly, because guessing how book ends so fast is a bummer. Secondly, for the reason that I really hoped The Contradiction of Solitude is more of a romance… but really that’s not the case.

“My heart wasn’t a real, beating thing. It was a dead, pulpy mess incapable of feeling anything.
Until now. Now it felt something. Something altogether new and raw.
Overwhelming and all consuming. I wanted to reach inside my chest, grab ahold of the thumping organ, and squeeze and squeeze until it died.
It hurt. It felt good.”


This novel is a psychological thriller. It’s dark, edgy and completely crazy, mind fuck of a ride that gives you the creeps. So no flowers there, no soliloquies or serenades, no tender kisses and definitely no hot, blood pounding sex. actually, there is almost no real chemistry between the main characters, IMO If you are a romance junkie by nature, and that's the only thing you like, it would be best if you didn’t bother with this novel. It will only frustrate you.

However, those who like big mysteries, psychological or even psychopathic thrillers will most definitely spend the book biting their nails and pulling their hair. Yet, there is also a possibility you will get bored when you realize what’s really going on. Just like me.

One of the flaws of this book is repetitiveness; some things were constantly on repeat. It really annoyed me. I fought the urge to roll my eyes every time a certain theme appeared. I suppose, it’s because I knew so quickly how this book will end. It just killed the joy.



If I had to compare this book to others I would say it’s something like Mad Vein by Tarryn Fisher or Song of Fireflies by J. Redmerski, both of which I didn’t like.

I can’t decide what I think about The Contradiction of Solitude. I didn’t find it bad or off-putting nor did I loved it or liked it. It’s just a read that held so much potential, but sadly it just didn’t work for me. I loved it then I hated it, then it became just ‘meh’ for me.

SPOILERS EVERYWHERE

Please don’t read it if you want to give The Contradiction of Solitude a chance. You never know you may enjoy it. Also, I only SHORTLY SUMMARIZED the plot, it’s not everything as this story is so much more than this. But it should give you a general idea and quench your curiosity.

Layna’s father was a serial killer. He chose teenage girls, stalked them and then murdered them in horrid way. He was a true psychopath who believed that they were his ‘stars’ and that he freed them. He and Layna had very unhealthy relationship. From the time she was a little girl he taught her to be just like him. Basically, he taught ten year old girl how to find prey, how to stalk them, and then how to kill and enjoy it. Now that it’s been years since he was put in prison, Layna lives in loneliness and does what she was taught best.

Elian’s sister was The Nautical Killer victim. Her sister’s murder shredded his family and broke him. When he meets Layna in a dinner he’s mesmerized by her beauty and her dark eyes. He doesn’t know he’s her next prey.

Long story short, Elian and Layna start relationship. Very toxic one. Then she kills him just like the rest.


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[Lady Vigilante (Feifei)]

No rating

This is one of those books I can’t really settle on just one rating because even now, my mind is sweeping between the 2 to 5 star range. It certainly did live up to the promise as a psychological thriller, and even though I knew how the book would end by the time I was halfway through, the story was gripping and I couldn’t flip the pages fast enough. However, the story dragged a little because of the repetitive writing style and any and all romance in the book I didn’t feel the chemistry between the characters, so I’m just really confused and unsure of what I’m supposed to feel. Without a doubt, this is a book you are not supposed to understand or be able to relate to; you’re only there for the crazy ride. And as a reader who wants to be kept entertained as well as be wholeheartedly invested in the story and characters this book achieved the first goal while failing the second.

I’m going to split the rest of my review into 2 sections, a completely spoiler-free section and a potentially spoiler-ish zone (this part basically has more plot details).

Spoiler-free section

First, this book is a NA psychological thriller through and through, and even though there’s romance, it’s one-sided, completely twisted, and only present in the story to serve a greater purpose. Therefore, I think that labeling whether or not this book has a ‘HEA’ (happily-ever-after) isn’t fitting because the romance is pretty nonexistent. It’s a story out to ensnare and mess with your mind more than anything.

I’ve read almost all of this author’s books – enjoy her writing very much – and I have to say the premise of this story was fascinating. The tone and the style are completely different from her NA romances and I like that we’re getting something unique and boundary-pushing. Towards the middle of the story, however, I started to get a little annoyed. I’m not a fan of word repetition and fragmented sentences. A few times for emphasis is okay with me, but almost every chapter had one or the either and it grated on my nerves.

“I left.
It felt good.
A door closing.
With a bang.”

“The glass shattered and scattered. Pieces sliced my naked feet.
Pain.
Pain.”

“It made me sad.
Sad.
Sad.”

“A part of me.
I wanted to forget.
I had to.
That’s why I ran.
Away.”

See what I mean?

Don’t get me wrong, I love this author’s words. They’re powerful and cut me deep but I wasn’t a fan of how she utilized them. But despite this, I could not stop reading. I had a hunch how the story would end. I still couldn’t stop reading. So if you ask me how gripping and unputdownable this book is, it’s a 10 on a 1-10 star scale.

To avoid spoilers, all I’m going to say about the plot is that it’s twisted, violent, and dark where there’s no point of return. There is no heroine or hero in the story. There’s only a protagonist and an antagonist. And part of the reason why I can’t settle on one rating is because of how complex the story and characters are. I love that this book was gripping and intense and thrilling all at once, but I seriously hated the female lead Layna with every fiber of my being. Like I said in the beginning of my review, this isn’t a book I’m supposed to understand or relate to, which is why it’s so hard for me to be invested in a character like her and a story about her where I can never, ever understand her actions. Do you see how frustrating that is for me? I want to understand a book that is not understandable. As for the male lead Elian, I liked him a lot and was so heartbroken when his past was revealed. And while I got why he connected so strongly with Layna because of their shared history, I didn’t feel the ‘romance’ when he claimed to love her. In fact, the author did such a great job of portraying the psychological thriller part of the book it completely snuffed out what little of the romance was there. I just simply didn’t feel it.

I then thought to myself…how much will this weak romantic connection bother me? And then I decided I would let it slide for the moment since the book was never advertised as romance, just psychological thriller and I would run with it with that genre in mind.

Spoiler-ish section

This short section is for those that want a little more about the plot and what to expect going in. For me I thought it was better to just let things unfold while I read, even though I’m normally a reader who seeks out spoilers beforehand. But it’s up to you if you want to read this next portion…

The girl in this story – Layna – is the daughter of a serial killer. That kind of past with her twisted father has turned her into a woman who is just so abnormal and thinks in entirely different ways from others. The guy Elian is deeply connected with her and she with him because of their ugly history. Throughout the book it will be very obvious what Layna’s intentions are, how Elian is related to it, and the deep psychological damage left on both of them. And of course, you’ll also have a clue about how things will end, and it will not be an easy read.

The ending of this book is controversial and will probably trigger many discussions about it, but it’s the only way the story could’ve ended while staying true to both Layna and Elian’s characters.

This story in general is a pretty thought-provoking read and after reading, I know it’s not a book that I’ll be forgetting anytime soon. I didn’t enjoy the book, because nothing about Layna was enjoyable and above all else, this is her story. I did like the book for stirring up all these emotions and feelings and for the crazy ride. I can see why this’ll be a 5 star read for some, and I can also understand why it’ll be a fluke for others. It’s just one of those books you have to read for yourself and see where you’ll fall. As for me, I really can’t decide on any one rating to reflect all these thoughts I have, so I’m not going to rate it.

[Aj the Ravenous Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Here’s my attempt to "emulate" the writing:

   
 Finally!
 Our cries. 
 For zero NA tropes.
 Have been answered. 
 Though this dark. Very dark.
 Messed up. Completely Messed up.
 Twisted. Perfectly twisted. 
 Book. 
 The story was impressive. 
 Plot engrossing.
 But I did not like the characters.
 Not one bit.
 Whilst the writing.
 THE WRITING.
 Rendered my brain cells. 
 Dead. 
 Murdered. 
 Lifeless. 

Bahahaha! Please forgive the silliness. I needed to do that after the torture of going through 30 chapters of that kind of writing. My reading time doubled because of all the unnecessary pauses and repetition. The urge to do something harmful was real. It was evident in my face which looked something like this from start to finish.



This is not to say however that the story is bad. I mean it IS bad because the story isn’t talking about goodness or is trying to give inspiration. It’s a story about messed up people with evil minds and dark blood running in their veins but it isn’t badly executed at all (of course except for the writing). In fact, the characters are perfectly messed up that they made complete sense. Sounds weird, right? It is a story of contradiction after all.

First line of the book (remember my promise to start judging books by their first line?): “My first memories were of blood.” That’s definitely a solid GO!

I didn’t think NA books still have the ability to completely surprise me but this one sure did. The MC is just a mere daughter of a notorious serial killer. Try to beat that! I’m impressed at the ability of the author to bring the NA genre to another level and give it a whole new meaning and even though the plot was fairly predictable (I said “I knew it” a couple of times), it was still very gripping. I can’t give away the story (it’s your job to find that out) but I’d have to say, this may be the first of its genre or it could just be the first I’ve read. Lol. Nevertheless, I think it’s still definitely worth a read.

Thank you to Alice’s captivating review that made me read the book.

[Clumsy Storyteller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twisted brilliant heartbreaking story .... this is the kinda of books that leave u with "WTF-ending"Layna's acte were so inpredictable i loved the book and hated it at the same time i enjoyed Eliane's POV more than i enjoyed endless pages of Layna crazy dark thoughts and i thought "Gone girl" was crazy ... !!!!!


The story is about a girl who fell in lov.. oh no wait it's a boy falling in love with a girl but after telling him her real identity, SHIT GOES DOWN ! WTF , Layna's father was a serial killer he murdered about 20 young girls before he was captured by the police , he named his victimes " His stars" and every star had a story Layna was lik her dad, she had killing tendencies one day she met a boy one of the victim's young brother she seduced him made him think she loved him before killing him and making him her own star ! Fucked up right ? Ughh anyway it's mindblowing book

[Amy | Foxy Blogs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Release price of $.99 ->http://amzn.to/1HfqW3f
3/8/2015

After some 'arm twisting' FMA has wrangled me into reading this one with her.



The Contradiction of Solitude was more of a psychological thriller than a true romance. A psychological thriller by definition is suspenseful book (or movie) emphasizing the psychology of it’s characters rather than the plot. Even though this wouldn’t be classified as a romance it does have a love story…granted it is a sick and twisted love story but that’s what happens when the mental state of a person is affected.

”Words mattered. When spoken they couldn’t be taken back. So it was important to make them count. Each and every time.” I don’t want to give the plot away because being caught up in the unknown with this story is part of the fun. Just keep in mind the story is deep and dark and in an insane world "it all makes sense".



The writing, at times, is lyrical along with some onomatopoeia. “Thump. Thump. Thud.” (onomatopoeia). One word, in particular, had me wondering what it’s purpose was each time I saw it -> “buzz”?

I know I already said this but I think it needs to be said again ->While this isn’t a romance… the love story, between all involved, was questionable at best because their sanity was out of balance. If you want an unconventional story consider this one because it draws outside the lines.

EDITED TO ADD-> On my blog I talk more about this book and why I think it's getting low ratings. If you go to my blog page it's towards the bottom of page (after the review).
http://foxyblogs.com/the-contradictio...

STANDALONE

[Jennifer Kyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars



This is the rare type of story that I had to finish before deciding whether I liked it, hated it, or loved it. I did like the writing and story for the most part. I had my suspicions where the author was taking me. Sadly, I was right and I hate that because I like to be surprised by stories. Anyway, some words were indeed used excessively but I felt they helped drive certain points home. (Except for the word ‘buzz’ that one drove me nuts.) The love portion didn’t have any sex scenes and to my disappointment not enough of a tangible love connection /chemistry for me.

The main character was written in a manner that gave just enough facts as she struggles with her the reality that her father is a convicted serial killer and the allure to the dark that lives inside herself. She lives an attachment free life style until the guy with the green eyes at Denny’s catches her attention.

Could he possibly save her from herself? Or perhaps she will be the catalyst to his downfall?

”She was my lack of reason. My painful heart. She was my inevitable demise. Because of her, I would lose my soul.”

Overall, I wish that the story line had more romance and connection and if not then more of a wow that was twisted dark factor to it. Sadly, I felt that things ended pretty predictable. The story as a whole wasn't anything I would read again and/or recommend to the majority of my romance loving friends. Still, it did leave an impact on me and I'm left thinking on a few scenes. The author should totally dabble more in the dark genre from time to time. I would love to see where else she could bring me.

”We were perfect in our mad sanity.”

[Brandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book. Holy Shit. I honestly don't even know where to start.



The writing was brilliant, complex and captivating. The premise was interesting, this book seriously had all the guts of a great read, but something was missing for me. So I don't really know how to rate, but it would probably be around a 4? idk. I had a really hard time connecting with Layna, and the overall feel of the story was dry, cold and detached, which fits her character perfectly. So again, while this was far from an enjoyable read for me, I think it was executed very well.

Did I enjoy this book?
Hmmm...well it didn't leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling..

The truth is the ugly side no one wants to see.

So, while I wouldn't want to read this one again, I have tons of respect for Meredith. The Contradiction of Solitude is a expertly crafted, psychological thriller. This is not a romance, so to my love junkies out there, you will not find anything sweet or steamy in this one.

This was my fate. The blood. I couldn't escape it. It was pulling me under, taking me into its violet, irresistible arms and promising me oblivion.

[[~Ami~]♥Sexy Dexy♥ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars

Hmm this was a strange read. On the one hand I found the plot unique, it was one of those books you HAD to get to the end to see how everything works out. I thought the ending was very fitting.

On the other hand I wasn't so keen on the writing style; a lot of thoughts felt repeated. The stars got one nerves. Layna gave me the creeps and it was slooow.

It was interesting enough for me to finish. Just not the type of story I would normally enjoy. Recommend if you enjoy psychological thriller

[Lo Bookfrantic · Rating 4 out of 5]

***WARNING*** this is not a love story is a "psychological thriller". If you like DEXTER MORGAN you might enjoy this one I know I did! crazy but I did LOL.


Well shit, don't know how to start this review.

Like I seriously don't know what to think right now. Or how to feel. I freaking enjoyed this book more than I should of. I guess is because I knew it was going to be mind fuck from the beginning. I tried to stay open minded and well... Shit my chest is tight and my mind is playing tricks on me right now. I love DEXTER MORGAN so in a way I knew I was going to like this crazy book because it totally reminds me of it. The blood, suspense, the lies, the illusion and craziness of it all.


The book was so depressing when I started and honestly it wasn't much better but what attracted me to this book was the fact that I wanted to know the mystery and I wanted answers. But I honestly wasn't expecting this book to play the way it did.


I was intrigued in Layna, her dad and in the boy with his beautiful green eyes. I really can't say much because I have nothing, I feel like all my words are gone and all I can do is just feel.


I'm just going to leave you with this quote!

"Don’t feel betrayed because you thought she was different. You were fooled by an illusion. Because Layna was the girl who wrote the stories. She was the girl who owned the stars…"



I can see Layna as the female version of Dexter.


I can also picture the author laughing at the readers while plotting this ending...Lol



I totally did see it coming but didn't want to believe it in a way?! I felt like I was creating my own illusion pretending this couldn't be possible but I knew I just knew it was going to happened. If you want to know what, you have to read it. But again this book is not for everyone and is definitely not a love fairytale with happy endings. This book will have you thinking about your sanity by the time you finished.

[A. Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

****IT's LIVE!!! SURPRISE!!!!***

http://amzn.to/1H8WNlT


***sneak peak****
*****

Remember. Just remember.

Blank faces. Blurred images. My mind was reeling with unknown torments.

The panic, the distress, it was bittersweet on my tongue and I swallowed it down like honey.

Sitting alone in the darkened car. I was cold. So cold. I couldn’t feel my extremities. My toes were blocks of ice. I didn’t know how long I had been there only that I wasn’t supposed to move.Minutes. Hours maybe.

But I had to stay where I was. I was supposed to listen.

But I didn’t listen. I opened the door. I took a step out into the freezing night. Darkness pressed around me like a vice and I couldn’t breathe.

The blackness.

The emptiness.

I couldn’t remember.

I stared out of my living room window, waiting for him. For Elian. Hoping and dreading the moment when he’d pull up in front of my apartment. I was a torn with twisted contradiction.

Loving and hating. Soft and hard. Relaxed and rigid.

I dug my fingers into the window sash, nails breaking against wood. Blood wet on my skin.

Remember.

Memories were demons. They kept me trapped. They would set me free. But I didn’t trust the raging beast inside with the truth.

It devoured honesty. It lived on guile. It thrived on wicked deception.

My head ached as my mind reeled. Too much. Not enough. I wasn't here.

I was there.

The house sat off in the distance. A tomb…waiting. The grass, heavy with frost, scrapped my ankles. Wrapping harsh, unyielding hands around vulnerable flesh.

“Stay here, Layna.” His voice rang with clear intent only minutes earlier, just before he left me alone. In the car. To wait. His stern words brooked no argument.

I never defied him. So why was I now throwing self-preservation to the wind?

The house beckoned.

The blackness.

The emptiness.

I couldn’t remember.

My head was heavy. And then I saw it. Headlights in the distance and I knew it was him. Elian. My heart beat became a waltz in my chest. Pitter. Patter. Rat-a-tat-tat.

I curled bloodied fingers into my palm. My nails tattered and ruined. Elian was almost here.

I was falling...

The car parked and I could see him outside the window in the cold, dark night. I knew Dancing Green Eyes, my Elian, was searching. Always searching.

For me.

But I wasn't here. I was gone. Somewhere else.

Waiting...

I approached the house and the first thing I noticed was the noise.

Scratching and clawing. Breathy, aching silence punctuated by frantic movements.

I grabbed the doorknob and froze, scared to go inside. Because when I did, everything would change. There would be no going back.

Scratch. Scratch. Groan.

The sounds were icepicks to my eardrums.

The blackness.

The emptiness.

I couldn’t remember.

I watched Elian get out of his car and for the briefest of moments I was happy. I smiled. True and genuine. My heart wanted to dance right out of my chest and into his arms.

Remember.

My bloodied fingers curled into fists and smashed through the window. Glass splintering. Raining to my feet. Pain. Agony. Relief.

And all I saw was the blood.

Always the blood.

[Lisa *-* GiViNg It To YoU * LoCk StOcK & TwO SmOkiNg BaRrELs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review written on 16 March'15

Well, what the hell did I just read...


I picked this one up because of a couple of friends status updates on this book, and then reading the blurb, I was like....OK, Bring it On!!



I can honestly say, it was unputdownable, the pages were quite literally turning themselves.




But, it was like a car crash...you know when you drive past....you know it could be bad.....but you just can't help looking!!





So this was me, at different points in the book...



and this.....




It was..something else!!

Was it bad - NO

Was it good - Hell I'm not sure....it was definitely a book of Contradictions thou!!

I'll be honest and say I really didn't know how to rate this one, so I settled on 3.5 solid stars!!

If you like mind-fucks, psychological thriller's this is definitely for you and well worth a read.

[Kim Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lyrical. Poetic. Poignant.

I fell in love with the way that this story was written. Ms Walters certainly knows how to turn simple words into a thing of beauty. Even the ugly parts, are stunning.

This is not your typical story ... certainly not what most would expect from this author. But that is NOT a bad thing. In fact it makes for an interesting, creative and unique read. I love when an author is able to step outside of a box and write something a-typical ... something beautiful in it's monstrosity.

I adored the writing and the utter disparity of the characters. The journey they took was perfectly hopeless. The only thing holding this back from a perfect 5 star rating ... there were no surprises in this story. Which, I found a bit counter-intuitive, given the nature of the main character, Layla. She is meant to be deceptive, a wolf in sheep's clothing. Yet, I saw through her façade right from the start ... and I sort of felt that this is what the author wanted ... however, what I wanted was for her to surprise me. I wanted to see more of the story as Elian, less as Layla. I would have to say, that if anything tricked me, it was Elian. I was a bit shocked at how he fell apart ... and I did love him for this.

Overall, a fabulous book. I would recommend this for anyone who can handle a dark, disturbing read with an unconventional love story ... with absolutely NO happy ending. For me, this aspect was just perfect! Love <3

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

I honestly don't know where to start with this review..

This is my first book by this author, and it won't certainly be the last.

When I read Jasmine's review of this book, I knew I had to read it.
I had no idea what this story was about, I went in blind and you won't find a plot in my review, because I don't want to spoil anything for you.

I more than needed a break from romance; this is a psychological thriller book, don't expect to read of love in this one.

I loved how the author described Layna and Elian's characters, but she did an amazing job with Layna. I love reading of twisted minds..

In my opinion, the ending is pretty predictable, the author gave many hints and I usually hate when I figure out endings from the start, BUT , in this case, it was better this way! I loved reading of Layna's journey to self discovery, the steps she made toward it and the reasons why she was following this path...gosh, I'm trying not to give away anything of this story, but it's hard.

I would have rated it 3.5 stars because toward the ending some parts were repetitive, but I had two days to think about it and the way she wrote about Layna's character really got me.

Plus, I couldn't stop reading it and I was so immersed in this book, that when I stopped reading my head hurt and my expression in the end was pretty much like this:

I have to say that I find it twisted and messed up, but not extremely dark, IMO..I saw that this is a Hate or Love book..so I'd say, if you're okay with this genre, you definitely need to give it a try!

[FMABookReviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I love that this author took a chance on something and veered from her norm. I am one of her many fans who purchased this the moment they saw it was live. I, for one, was captivated, intrigued and completely amazed that this is the same author of the previous books I LOVED! This was truly an incredibly written novel. So different from the other’s which were beautiful in their own right. I.AM.ASTOUNDED! But, be clear, this was not a romance novel. There is “romance” in it. But it is a psychological mind f@ck! Don’t go into this expecting the same style of writing from this author, because you will be disappointed. If you like suspense and thrillers like me, then I say give it a chance. I mentioned to my reading partner, Foxy, that the writing in this book reminded me of Tarryn Fisher’s writing. This book was dark, intense and twisted.

Walters’ words were carefully chosen and lyrical, which made the story even more mysterious. I loved the pacing, the sentence structure and word choice. Each one making this novel more menacing, more meaningful and more treacherous.



Sentences were fractured, like the minds of the characters who hoplelessly tried to make sense of everything.

“Tick tock goes the clock…”

“Lines of destruction etched into skin…”

The story was powerful and chilling. I had to step away a few times so I could gain my bearings. And that to me is one mark of a good book. If the writing and story stirs emotion in me, then it is a winner. I was sad, I was horrified, and I was angry. Walters' writing brought forth those emotions in me. Further, she made me think. In my previous work days, I was a counselor for both adult felons and juveniles who were in the juvenile justice system. I have dealt with personalities such as those represented in the pages of this book. The cold, calculating, antisocial and the ever despondent, delusional, self-destructive individual. Walters did a FANTASTIC job getting into the heads of her characters. She brought their thoughts alive on the page. This was not an easy thing to do! I couldn’t help but compare these characters to those with whom I have previously dealt. It made me wonder where they are now, what they have become. She reminded me that we are all human. That everyone in their humanity is flawed. That evil exists in everyone, it is what you do with it that determines what you will become. Finally, she reminded me that we are all hanging on by a thread. Some have thread thicker and sturdier than others, but we all have a breaking point.

“We were perfect in our mad sanity.”

While I acknowledge this may not be everyone’s cup of tea, I can’t stop thinking about it. This book sucked me in! It completely, and wholly owned me. So, yes, it appears I am the odd man out here, but this was a 5 star read for me. And, I’m okay with that.

“Doubts were dangerous. They clouded the mind and dampened the soul with what ifs.”

[Fatima · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 dark and depressing stars !

This book ...... * sigh* ... it's one of those books that can't be reviewed easily . I'm sitting here , sorting out my feelings one by one and I'm still not sure what and how I feel about what I read . I'm not gonna get into the nitty-gritty of what the story is about and the characters involved . Just know that it is dark , and times disturbing , sometimes depressing and definitely not for those who love romances . There is nothing romantic about this story or the characters . But if you can romanticize morbidity then yeah this can be that sort of a romance ...

If you want to read a psychological thriller that can contradict your feelings about sanity and insanity , then please give this book a try .

[Pavlina Read more sleep less blog]

BUDDY READ WITH JENNIFER <3 <3


IT'S LIVE!!!

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1H8WNlT
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1FmyWhq
Amazon AU: http://bit.ly/1wc4Rl0
Amazon CA: http://amzn.to/1NrxwI7

[Chris- Bookaddict · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Reader Warning**
There is NO warning. I won't tell you if there's a HEA, a cliffhanger, or a love triangle. Just read it and find out for yourself but please don't post spoilers.
The fun of a story is figuring it all out!

^^^^^ That right there is why I dropped everything and dug into this one. I’m not one for not knowing about cliffhangers, but I did not care. Walters words had me saying to myself what the hell did she write? I NEEDED to read this one now no matter the outcome.

She has definitely gone outside of her box with this one. It is definitely not her norm. It is SO much more!!!!

I went into this one simply by reading the blurb, knowing nothing else about this little gem. Wait this is not a little gem, this is a total Mind F**** for sure.

Walters has asked for no spoilers and I have to agree with her. You need to go into this one simply by reading the blurb and no spoilers at all.
Now what can I say without spoiling this one for you? Let’s see what I can come up with.

Walters has given us a story unlike anything else she has ever given us. You will be sitting there going WTF is going on more than once throughout this story. The characters within this story will have your heart aching for them and your mind going what in the H*LL is going on.

The contradictions within this story had even me stopping and going wait a minute what, huh, in the end Walters weaves them together so perfectly, that she left me intrigued and wanting more.

I will say that some parts, although I figured them out pretty early on I was still satisfied with the way that Walters brings everything together in the end. I found her words truly fascinating and I was wanting more and more.
Walters gives us one amazing psychological thriller, I will say if they are your thing then this is definitely for you.

I enjoyed this dark, twisted, roller coaster ride of emotions, I dare you to jump on and try it yourself.

"The truth is the ugly side no one wants to see."

AND that is all I got for you. I know vague not much info but hey what did you expect with a no spoilers review from me.

[Vilma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bold and daring, chilling and mysterious, A. Meredith Walters pens a dark, intense thriller that is utterly addicting.

[ 4.5 stars ]

I loved this book. I loved how bold it was. I loved that A. Meredith Walters took that daring step into another genre. I loved loved loved the beautiful writing that evoked unease, anxiety and terror in its prose. I simply loved everything about it. Yes, I am the girl who loves thrillers. Who loves it when books mess with my head. I devour the pages to see how it will end, how everything will ultimately unravel. Devoted readers of Walters should know this is not a romance… it’s truly a dark, intense, psychological thriller that is sure to burrow into your thoughts and heart, prickling goosebumps on your skin as buried secrets break free.

“I forever tiptoed the line between light and dark, never really knowing which way I’d go.”

Layna Whitaker has perfected her facade. No one realizes the war that rages inside. The darkness that threatens to invade. She had been loved as a child. She had idolized her father who had colored her world with stories about stars. But one day, what she thought was her reality, shattered. Broke her family apart. Changed her in a way she could never reverse. Layna reveled in her solitude, as secrets, dark and bloodied and terrible, prickled just beneath the surface she projected.

And one day she met a boy with dancing green eyes who wore a facade too. A mask that hid beneath the laughs and the easy demeanor he showed the world.

Elian.

Elian had secrets of his own. Bloody, terrible, soul-shattering, maddening secrets. And in him, Layna saw something special that filled her in a way that was new. Elian too became fascinated by this hard-to-read girl who didn’t smile when she was supposed to, who was disconcertingly honest, who drew him in like a moth to a flame.

Their coming together was fated.

“We were perfect in our mad sanity.”

They clutched to each other in their dark delirium. Secrets threatened to break free… they would change everything. The question that danced through the story was who would be whose demise? It seemed as though things would end badly, or could two broken people find their own kind of normal with each other?

“She was my lack of reason. My painful heart. She was my inevitable demise.”

This story is twined with threads that pull from the past, secrets that hide monsters, truths that can shatter even the smallest pieces left of a person’s already-broken heart. The dynamic between our two protagonists is chilling. Gradually, we learn about each, guessing what would happen next.

As mentioned above, the writing is superb, lyrical, haunting. I was so wrapped up in the story that my mind conjured multiple scenarios of how it would end. In fact, my thoughts became so twisted I wanted even a twistier end. If you’re a fan of thrillers, you must read this book. I hope to see more of these kinds of stories from A. Meredith Walters, because I for sure am reading to devour more.

“Love was poison. It killed you slowly.”

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Follow Vilma's Book Blog: Website | Facebook | Twitter

[Jamie ♡♡ submits to books ♡♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

***** 5 Dancing Green Eyed Stars *****



Honestly, I have no idea how to even justify how awesome this book is with my words. Not sure that I can. All I know is this book has you thinking you know what is going on when you really have no freaking idea. The levels of lies is shocking and weaves these characters together beautifully.



Layna is a young girl hiding from the past she can't get away from. She wants to not remember a lot of the what happened to her and her brother so many years ago. But she is still not able to remember the keys to unlocking her nightmare existence.

As Layna leads a life of solitude and darkness, she finds Elian. He has captivated her interest on many levels. As she watched him daily her obsession with his sadness grew deeper and deeper. She knows he is hiding a past from his present as well.

"Lines of destruction etched into skin. Because it is the dishonesty on his face that intrigued me. I appreciated the ghosts that haunted him. The phantoms that shadowed his eyes even as they danced and danced and danced."



Never knowing the obsession Layna has for him, Elian begins to become attached to Laynan as well. Their connection to each other is dark and tormented. Neither can let the other one go. Elian needs Layna to survive the guilt he has lived with.



"She was my lack of reason. My painful heart. She was my inevitable demise. Because of her, I would lose my soul."

Elian really has no idea how true his feelings for Layna really are.

As the author takes us on a psychological masterpiece of evil beauty, we are tossed into a world of love filled lies and heartache that brings to broken souls together. One believing the other is his life and sanctuary, the other knowing her stars are finally aligned to tell the stories she has always wanted to.




"He sucked the lies from my tongue like candy. Their seduction tasted sweet but shredded like razor blades when swallowed."

It is very possible I am still in shock and not even with the ending. Yes, that left me speechless, but there are so many parts of this book, that I really had to stop and wrap my brain around what was happening.

AMAZING

[T.K. Rapp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing!!! I read this book today - no - devoured it. This was truly something unexpected and so original that it grabbed me and didn't let go. These days, it's been rare for me to read something that is surprising, but TCoS did just that.

Every time I thought I had the story figured out, I was reminded why Walters is a genius. She reeled me in from the beginning and I'm still trying to wade through my thoughts and feelings. She does an amazing job of weaving a captivating story that is full of tiny kernels of a bigger beautiful story.

The way this was told to the reader, I felt like I was reading poetry. Each line tugged at my emotions and left me completely immersed. I refuse to say more because the experience of reading this story is one I'm not likely to forget and I don't want to ruin it for others. But it is so worth the read.

[The Hopeless Romantics Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review: Surj

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I'm a romance reader through and through. I say it loud and I say it proud. Other genres just don't do it for me. They don't give me that buzz. That sense of excitement. What can I say. It is what it is. But... now this is a massive BUT... When A Meredith Walters brought out "The Contradiction of Solitude" last month, I felt a pull towards it. No it wasn't the fact that it was a 99c one click possibility... although that obviously helped... lol. It was more the abundance of teasers she had given us pre launch. These teasers were different to what we're used to getting. They were kinda cryptic, a little bit twisted and very dark and I couldn't help but feel intrigued, my curiosity definitely getting the better of me. However with no synopsis and not even a cover to go by, I had to wait it out until the book was released. So I finally got around to reading Layna and Elian's story and ... HOLY CRAPPETY CRAP. " My brain has been completely frazzled by what I just read. Wow. Just freakin' wow!!!!

She was my lack of reason. My painful heart. She was my inevitable demise. Because of her, I would lose my soul.

I'm used to this author giving me complicated characters. I'm even used to the unconventional story lines we get from her. Her books are bold, they are brave and they are unpredictable. But this... this was something else. "A Contradiction of Solitude" took my reading experience to a whole new level. It ripped me out of my comfort zone and threw me right in the middle of a psychological thriller. Have you ever seen "The Shining" or "The Silence of the Lambs" or even "Jacob's ladder?" Think about all the feelings and emotions you went through when you watched those films. The fear, the creepiness, the sense of foreboding. The chills that went down your spine. The goosebumps that spread over your body. Yup, I experienced all of that and so much more.

He sucked the lies from my tongue like candy. Their seduction tasted sweet but shredded like razorblades when swallowed.

I shouldn't have enjoyed this book. It wasn't a romance... not in the conventional sense of the word anyway but I just couldn't put the damn thing down. It was impossible to walk away from what was unfolding before me. I was confused. Then I wasn't. Then I started to work things out. Make the connections. Join the dots and that's when it hit me. This book was dark, really dark. It was completely fucked up and it was disturbing but I was getting a massive thrill out of reading it. I was addicted. I needed to know whether my theories were right. I needed to get to the end of Layna and Elian's story just to see how it all panned out. Fuck if I knew how it would all end, the author keeping me guessing right up until the last couple of pages. My heart was in my mouth. My nerves in tatters. My emotions all over the place. What can I say other than A. Meredith Walters got me good and proper with this one.

His mind was splintered. Cut into shards. Nothing holding them together anymore. He didn't yet see how far he had fallen. But he would. soon. And I would be there to push him off the cliff.

Dare I tell you about the storyline? Nah it's all based on secrets, lies and deception and I couldn't possibly spoil it for you. How about the characters? honestly, for the most part I struggled to work them out, each of them hiding so much. What I did know was that somehow, somewhere along the line there was a connection between Layna and Elian and when the characters worked out what that connection was, all hell would break loose. Yup, all hell broke loose and this story took an even darker, more sinister turn leaving me flipping the pages like a crazed woman desperate to work out what would happen next.

I was a little girl lost. And he was desperately searching for me. He didn't realise that he should be terrified of finding what he was looking for.

The writing in "The contradiction of solitude" was flawless. It was captivating. It was poetic. The words so powerful, it was difficult not to get sucked into the dark vortex that was Elian and Layna's journey. Their story was intriguing. it was addictive and it was so different to anything I've read before but I'm so glad I gave it a go. This was absolutely a ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ read for me... no question about it. Honestly, you need to experience this book for yourself. Take a chance. Step outside your comfort zone and get ready to go on the mother of all crazy rides. Enjoy x

"You're broken Elian. But I'm broken too. Maybe together our pieces will make us whole."

[Jey · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to review this?
When you have a favourite author you dive into their books with certain expectations. Picking up one of their stories can be like slipping into your most loved jeans. Fitting, comfortable, expected.
This book by AMW was nothing like my favourite jeans, it was like losing weight over night and those favourite jeans hanging from your hips. Surprising, shocking, yet none the less delightful, although in this case delightful being somewhat unpleasant but in all the right, yet so very wrong ways.
I felt like Gretel, dropping my breadcrumbs throughout the story, knowing that the anticipation I felt in my gut for when I reached its climax would require me to retrace my footsteps, hoping to find my way back out. Only just like Gretel, those breadcrumbs had been eaten by birds, big black crows with coal black eyes.
This is dark, psychological, mindfuckery at its best.
Think you know AMW books? Think again.
Go in blind and let yourself float away to the stars.

[Mihaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Originally posted on http://mikkysworldofbooks.blogspot.fr...

"The truth is the ugly side no one wants to see."

I have absolutely no idea where or how to begin. I think it’s the first time I found myself unable to find the words to describe the book I’ve just read.

Meredith Walters is one of my favorite authors and I’ll always say yes to her novels. She has yet to disappoint me and I’ve read all of her books bar one.

The Contradiction of Solitude was a complete surprise, though. It is so different from what she has written before.

Her inclination for dark stories is well known but this one blew me away.

First of all, I’ll give you a warning. This is a psychological thriller and not for the faint of heart. If you’re looking for a fairytale or a HEA, you’re way out of your league with this one.

This book will mess you up and you won’t be able to disconnect long after you’re done with it. You’ll either hate it or love it. There’s no way in between.

The characters are very complex and hard to understand. Victims of their pasts, connected by a gruesome secret, Lay and Elian’s relationship is toxic and threatens to destroy the last remaining shreds of their soul.

Everything is a lie and everything is truth. Nothing is what it seems and the game is not over yet. Far from it. New players, new rules, new stories to be written, new stars to be set free.

Caught is a web of deception, Elian seeks absolution from a mistake he didn’t really made.

Layna is running from her past, running far and fast but the monsters are already there. The darkness is part of her soul and has always been. She craves it and she craves the joy only pain can give her.

They’re completely wrong for each other but there’s something more that will always pull them together.

I know this review doesn’t make sense. You will have to read it yourself and find out what Layna and Elian’s story is. I highly recommend it.

I stand in awe, Meredith. With this book you managed to throw me into a bottomless pit of despair and sadness from which I’m trying to crawl my way out while keeping a strong hold on my sanity because I can’t help but wonder how much truth is behind your words. All the stories we hear, all the things we see… How many Laynas and Elians are out there? How well do we really know someone? How many stories are left untold and how many mysteries unsolved? How many stars have a name?

You never cease to amaze me. Never stop writing.

Happy Reading!!

[Stacey Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is no possible way i can describe this book except to say that it's one of the best things I've ever written.

A Gone Girl type book that messes with your mind, with beautiful, eloquent writing that makes you feel every word.

I've devoured this book in just a few hours, equally loved and hated every word written, every emotion felt. It's simply incredible.

[Suzana · Rating 2 out of 5]

What did I just read ...
One dark and twisted story ...
Not my cup of tea ...

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

3/27 - going in, someone hold me.

3/28 - Ok, I finished. Now I definitely need someone to hold me.

4.5 stars

Full review here => http://afterdarkbooklovers.com/2015/0...

Numb.

That is the best way to describe how I felt after finishing this book.

Let me be clear from the beginning, pay attention to the author’s warning. While there is a relationship in this book and word “love” is used in the story, this is not a romance. It is not a dark romance. It is just dark.

The prologue sets the scene and you’ll quickly know what you’ve gotten yourself into.

Layna is not your typical book heroine. She’s rude, aloof, cold, and when you get into her head, you see she’s trouble with a capital T. There’s a darkness within her, a darkness born from the blood of her father, who commits diabolical and horrific acts, twisting them to be the acts of a savior. As daddy’s little girl, she developed a connection for their shared interest, where causing others pain is acceptable. This book lays claim that one can be born a certain way, that some people are just inherently evil and can’t escape the darkness to become a better person. After reading, I personally believe Layla’s father brainwashed her, beginning at such a young age, that she didn’t even realize what was happening.

It’s clear in the beginning of the book, that Layna’s meeting and eventual relationship with Elian, wasn’t coincidental. But it’s not until the story unfolds that you learn why she was intent on catching him under her spell, with her black eyes.

But her eyes gave her away. Dark and wide and bottomless. Coal black. They were sad and devoid of light. But I knew there was a soul inside there somewhere. Or at least I hoped so.

Layna doesn’t use the typical tactics to lure the man in, flirty behavior, slutty attire. Instead, she barely speaks to him, and gives little away about herself. Enjoying the chase and knowing he can’t resist her. Their bond is too strong.

With alternating POVs, you get inside both of Layna and Elian’s heads. They both have more issues than Time magazine, and despite the inner warnings that what they are doing isn’t right, they can’t seem to stay apart.

And I felt it in that moment. The moment when, against his better judgement, he began to fall.
For a woman he didn’t know.
A stranger.
But one who pulled him in all the same.
I bit down on my bottom lip to stop myself from grinning like a fool.
So, so easy.
So, so hard. . .

A shared star, seals that connection, showing them they are meant for each other. The meaning behind that star, and why they both have it is slowly explained.

She was pretty. They all were. Pretty but lost. Looking and looking.
Nothing to tether them.
Drifting.
Daddy’s stars.

Throughout reading this story, I was torn between wanting Elian to be Layna’s savior from her darkness, while wanting him to run far and clear from her. As the story builds, that second feeling became stronger, while I still hoped for that first feeling. However, you don’t always get what you want.

This story is a change for the author, but she delivers it beautifully. The words are poetic, capturing the thoughts of someone spiraling into their dark thoughts and actions. I was mesmerized and terrified throughout. The dread I felt while reading does come to be, and while it took some time to recover from the ending, I understand it was the appropriate one. This book is a haunting look into the mind of a killer, sunshine and happy endings would never fit. So if you want to take a risk and move out of your comfort zone, buckle your seat beats, have alcohol on standby, and enjoy!

“Happiness is deceptive. Joy is cruel. In the end all you have is selfishness. And pain. It’s okay to want the things people say you shouldn’t have. To take without asking. If it fills that hole in your heart, it can’t be all bad.”

[Ker Dukey author · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deep, raw and utterly captivating, this novel is physiological brilliance. I went in blind and let Walters swallow me into her dark world and keep me there guessing on the edge of my seat. Reading this title was like being dragged into a dark maze and I’m not sure if I even found my way out. This is Meredith at her best, I was left spellbound and in awe. I don’t want to give any of the story away as it wouldn’t be fair to the reader, you need to go in blind and let the shadows guide and twist you until you’re as deeply messed up as these fantastically written characters. I just can’t believe how amazing this book was and I’m a huge fan of Walters so I expect excellence from her but this was something else all together, this stands apart from everything she’s written before and everything in the market right now. Truly outstanding.

[Chiara Cilli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I miei primi ricordi erano di sangue. 

Sangue che sembra impregnare il libro e divenire sempre più copioso, pagina dopo pagina.
Sangue che vi ronzerà nelle orecchie con il fragore di una cascata.
Sangue che vi ossessionerà.
Sangue che vorrete versare.

Il mio cuore non era una cosa che batteva realmente. Era un ammasso polposo di piombo incapace di sentire.
Fino a adesso.

Non ci sono parole per descrivere questo romanzo, se non una: CAPOLAVORO.
Nel suo genere.
In tutto.
L'ho puntato non appena fu rivelata la cover. L'ho braccato non appena visualizzai l'incredibile booktrailer. E poi ho aspettato. Come lei. Me ne sono stata tranquilla, a osservare, attendendo il momento in cui io sarei andata da lei. In cui lei mi avrebbe accolto nella sua mente.
La nostra mente.

Indossava l'espressione tesa di chi odia la propria vita.

Layna. Mia Layna.
Tra me e lei è scaturita una connessione viscerale fin dalla primissima parola. Un legame che si è ispessito pagina dopo pagina e mi si è stretto attorno alla gola come un cappio pronto a strangolarmi. Niente e nessuno è paragonabile a questo personaggio, così contorto e deviato e irresistibile.

Ero una piccola ragazza perduta. E lui mi cercava disperatamente.
Non aveva realizzato che avrebbe dovuto essere terrorizzato da ciò che stava cercando.

Ma né io né Elian eravamo spaventati. La nostra eccitazione cresceva e cresceva.
Ossessione.
Ero quasi gelosa di lui, perché poteva averla.
Ero quasi gelosa di lei, perché poteva averlo.
Come volevano. Quando volevano. Dove volevano.

Mi faceva bramare altre cose. Cose normali. Cose che erano molto nocive per la mia anima. 

L'erotismo che trasuda questa storia è sottile, sinistro, non lo vedi.
Lo percepisci.
Negli sguardi.
Nel sangue.

Era la mancanza della mia ragione.
Il mio cuore dolorante...
Lei era la mia morte inevitabile.

Fin dall'inizio io sapevo.
Continuava a sussurrarmelo, rigo dopo rigo.
Parlava di cose che solo noi potevamo comprendere.
Noi e loro due.
Il principio e la fine.
E io l'ho seguita, stregata dai suoi movimenti, dalla sua grazia omicida, dall'aura che la ammantava e la faceva sembrare una creatura soprannaturale.

Le bugie suonano come un battito cardiaco. L'irruenza dell'inganno nelle mie vene.

Ma sono rimasta in silenzio.
Ho guardato ciò che lei guardava.
Ho assaporato ciò che lei ha assaporato.
Ho studiato le stelle.

Layna affondò le unghie nella pelle, protetta solo dalla stoffa sottile della mia camicia. Avrei voluto sussultare alla fitta di dolore. Spinse. Scavò. Si insinuò all'interno. Radici profonde.

Quello che c'è tra questi due personaggi va al di là dell'unione di due corpi. E' qualcosa di carnale e violento. Qualcosa da cui non si scappa. Non si può. Lei non ti lascia andare.
Lei è dappertutto.
Lei è tutto.
Lei è vita.
Lei è distruzione.
Contraddizione.

Sostituii la lingua con i denti. Raschiando. Mordendo.
Divorando.
Mio.

Possedere.
Più procedi nella lettura, più non sai se è la storia a possederti o lei.
E allora ti ritrovi ad ansimare quando lui la riprende per i capelli, non per un braccio, come avrebbe fatto una persona normale.
Perché niente è come sembra.
Tutti nascondono qualcosa.
Il mare.
La casa.
Il buio.
Il sangue.
Le stelle.

Perché per tutti quegli anni aveva vissuto la sua doppia vita, sua moglie e i suoi figli non avevano idea che il diavolo si celasse sotto il viso dell'uomo che amavano.

Ora tocca a lei raccontare le sue storie.
Io ho mantenuto il segreto.
E voi?

#keepthesecret

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