Forget Them Kids: Challenging the One-Sided Narrative of the Estrangement Epidemic and the Biased Therapy Trends That Fuel it

by Vivian King

Now Revised and Updated for an Even Clearer, More Impactful Read

If you're a parent who’s been cut off by your adult child and left reeling in silence, this book was written for you.

This revised and updated version of Forget Them Kids offers a sharper, more compassionate, and even more thought-provoking take on the original. With refined formatting, clearer organization, and strengthened insights, this version deepens the message at the heart of the not every parent deserves estrangement—and not every adult child is a victim.

This book dares to challenge the culturally popular, therapist-approved narrative that always blames the parent. It exposes the cult-like language of online "healing" spaces that encourage adult children to sever ties, rewrite history, and reject accountability. It explores how estranged parents are often misjudged, scapegoated, and left to suffer in silence—while society applauds their disappearance.

With honesty and strength, Forget Them Kids empowers estranged parents

Let go of guilt and reclaim their power

Recognize manipulative therapy trends and online echo chambers

Set unapologetic boundaries

Rebuild a joyful life that doesn’t depend on reconciliation

Whether you're newly estranged or have carried this heartbreak for years, this book offers more than comfort—it offers clarity, strength, and a way forward.

Genres: Nonfiction

232 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 18, 2025

Reviews

[Hayden Vanier · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a vile piece of hypocritical gaslighting trash. You want to know why her kids estranged her? Read her book. I also find it extremely funny how the title was changed from "Fuck them kids" to "Forget them kids". Why did it get changed? Too obvious how she really felt about her kids and that the victim card was all just an act? It strikes me that the focus of these books written by estranged parents are never "I'm heartbroken, and miss my child terribly", instead it's always "the fact that they are not talking to me makes me look and feel like a bad person, and that's horrible of them".

[Emily · Rating 1 out of 5]

Anyone who feels this book pertains to them should take a long and gentle look at themselves. Echo chambers are probably not your friend.

[Ratt Teeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

i understand why her kids hate her......


also her phd is in engineering so why would she put it on her psychology book? shes not a psych doc ts pmo

[Benjamin · Rating 1 out of 5]

"Let go of guilt and reclaim their power"

A book for narcissists by a narcissist.

[Donna Krefft · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is this the best book ever? No, but in hopes of trying to understand why and how I can live my life having no contact with my 2 eldest and my only granddaughter, lnot by my choice), I read books on self discovery and healing. My identity was/is "Mom". I started having kids at 20, quite young. I didn't know who or what I was in the world. Now that they are all grown, I no longer had the "Mom" identity! Lost myself, struggled, didn't know how to navigate life now that they are all grown. So now I'm working on me, for me. They are grown and made the decision to live their lives without me. Hurts like hell most days, I can't change others, only me. So here's to realizing I can now be me, Donna.....

[Shelley Hickerson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for parents with estranged adult children

[SplatterGunk · Rating 1 out of 5]

The saddest part about this book is that it is actually well researched. It's sad because it is spun like it's believable and academic and like it could make sense, but it's not genuinely a good book. This book manipulates, twists, and cherry picks it's facts and research to validate the feelings of the author and the estranged parents who are reading it for self-comfort. It preaches reflection on the end of the children who cut contact with their parents, but doesn't do anything to advocate reflection on the part of the parents or suggest approaches on how to correctively and peacefully reengage with you children or to reorient yourself in a way to repair the estranged relationship - not in any reflective or meaningful way.

While I am only a parent to a fur baby and never plan on having human children, I can tell easily that this is a manifesto of self-pity. If you are reading this in the hope of looking for a book genuinely advising you of ways to reconnect with your estranged child(ren), this is not the one.

[Arianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read

Im struggling with my son who will be 18 in 3 months. cutting me out of his life treating me as a hinderance to him, making me feel like everything ive done means nothing. this boom help me see im not alone.

[Sheila · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read many books on estrangement the past couple years and this is by far the best. I encourage anyone dealing with this to read her book. You will feel so much better when you’re done.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! It’s a no nonsense, straightforward book about parents that are estranged from their adult children, initiated by the adult child. I appreciate that the author has also experienced estrangement from an adult child. This book is an excellent guide on “next steps” in this journey. I will read this book again, as it has helpful insights for parents being in this awful situation.

[Cindy Lu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Forget Them Kids delivers a clear and important message: Parents shouldn't remain stuck in Parental Purgatory, and choosing to move forward is a healthy and necessary step. The overall tone is encouraging and firmly rooted in the idea of reclaiming life after Estrangement, which I think many readers will find valuable.

I personally connected less with the style, which leaned more toward broad advice than personal storytelling. For me, the most powerful guidance often comes when an author shares their own lived experiences—it’s what makes the words really resonate.

As someone who has also written about estrangement in Track of Tears: Derailing Estrangement, I was reminded of how much those raw, firsthand moments can shape the conversation. Readers may find that pairing books with different approaches—one more conceptual, one more personal—offers a fuller range of insight and support. Cindy Lu

[C Joachim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is fantastic. I have read many books on Estrangement and this offers new insight as to why there is a silent epidemic in the United States of adult children cutting off their parents. I lead a support group and am involved in a national support network called PEAK, Parents of Estranged Adult Kids. A year ago at a retreat they discussed the fact that the use of certain words like “Toxic Parents” had skyrocketed on the internet, that there were more online forums and younger counselors that were encouraging young adults to go NC or No Contact to solve their problems. This author, also estranged from her children, has done her homework in thoroughly researching exactly what is happening online in social media, with counselors, in our culture, and in the minds of these 20 & 30 somethings that has created a “cult like influence” that is driving this epidemic. The book is extremely well organized and written, and is an easy and quick read offering great insight and suggestions on how to deal with estrangement on a personal level. EVERY counselor and parent should read this book.

[Anne Hendricks · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must for anyone going through a no-contact period with their child, the newest craze in pop psychology that young people are adopting.
Vivian King did a fantastic job, knowing too well the pain of what it feels like.
I found this title in a support group, and I recommend it 100 percent!
Good job, Ms. King, and thank you for all the tips and resources.
BEST book I've read on the No Contact!

[Laura R Bransky · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I’m not a fan of the title, the information and research cited is very helpful . It’s important to keep a proper perspective that not everything depends on you in reconciliation. Own what you need to own . Practice self compassion and care . Some really good insights here are valuable in surviving another person’s choices.

[Matthew Ledrew · Rating 1 out of 5]

Truly awful. Also, this author is not a PhD in the field of the topic, yet presents it as such on the cover in a misleading and manipulative way. Rare to see an example of toxic behavior in the BYLINE of a book.

I suspect I know why her kids left. A 10/10 supervillain author telling on herself here.

Read only if you're an author looking for inspiration writing an evil parent.

[GrannyLee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very informative read about a serious issue that many countries are facing now.

The book is quite repetitive though. Well researched and quoted throughout. I listened to the audiobook, and I could really do without the narrators sing song voice.

[Jennifer Hershon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rarely do parents speak up. Finally a parent has a voice and uses it. Well cited and researched.

[B Detes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for estranged parents

I have read several books on the topic of parental estrangement. This one was the most practical, comprehensive, and edifying of them all.

[sharon irving · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must Read

Well researched. Clear communication. Encouraging. The last chapter gives great direction for refocusing your pain and your life. Find the joy in your pain.

[MeDenne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for any parent going through this

What makes this so good is the research base Dr King has used. Its about time that we had a book with the eye popping shocking research about this epidemic called cutting your parents off, going no contact, and whatever it is these kids would like to use to justify their nasty cruel behaviors

[Joshua · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just look at the cover and what it’s signalling. Narcissistic rage, ripping and tearing. It’s really that obvious 🤮