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The Flower Bearers: A Memoir
In this moving memoir, an acclaimed poet and novelist gives words to unnamable kingdoms of grief and joy, turning an impossibly difficult chapter of her life into a remarkable story of sisterhood, love, and growth.
On September 24, 2021, Rachel Eliza Griffiths married her husband, the novelist Salman Rushdie. On the same day, hundreds of miles of away, Griffiths’ closest friend and chosen sister, the poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, who was expected to speak at the wedding, died suddenly. Eleven months later, as Griffiths attempted to piece together her life as a newlywed with heartbreak in one hand and immense love in the other, a brutal attack nearly killed her husband. As trauma compounded trauma, Griffiths realized that in order to survive her grief, she would need to mourn not only her friend, but the woman she had been on her wedding day, a woman who had also died that day.
In the process of rebuilding a self, Griffiths chronicles her friendship with Moon, the seventeen years since their meeting at Sarah Lawrence College. Together, they embraced their literary foremothers—Lucille Clifton, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, to name a few—and fought to embrace themselves as poets, artists, and Black women. Alongside this unbreakable bond, Griffiths weaves the story of her relationship with Rushdie, of the challenges they have faced and the unshakeable devotion that endures.
In The Flower Bearers, Griffiths inscribes the trajectories of two transformational relationships with grace and honesty, chronicling the beauty and pain that comes with opening oneself fully to love.
On September 24, 2021, Rachel Eliza Griffiths married her husband, the novelist Salman Rushdie. On the same day, hundreds of miles of away, Griffiths’ closest friend and chosen sister, the poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, who was expected to speak at the wedding, died suddenly. Eleven months later, as Griffiths attempted to piece together her life as a newlywed with heartbreak in one hand and immense love in the other, a brutal attack nearly killed her husband. As trauma compounded trauma, Griffiths realized that in order to survive her grief, she would need to mourn not only her friend, but the woman she had been on her wedding day, a woman who had also died that day.
In the process of rebuilding a self, Griffiths chronicles her friendship with Moon, the seventeen years since their meeting at Sarah Lawrence College. Together, they embraced their literary foremothers—Lucille Clifton, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, to name a few—and fought to embrace themselves as poets, artists, and Black women. Alongside this unbreakable bond, Griffiths weaves the story of her relationship with Rushdie, of the challenges they have faced and the unshakeable devotion that endures.
In The Flower Bearers, Griffiths inscribes the trajectories of two transformational relationships with grace and honesty, chronicling the beauty and pain that comes with opening oneself fully to love.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published January 20, 2026
89 people are currently reading
6250 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Eliza Griffiths
13 books156 followersRachel Eliza Griffiths is a multi-media artist, poet, and novelist.
She received the MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and is the recipient of numerous fellowships including Robert Rauschenberg Foundation, Provincetown Fine Arts Work Center, Kimbilio, Cave Canem Foundation, Vermont Studio Center, Millay Colony, and Yaddo.
Her literary and visual work has been widely published in journals, magazines, anthologies, and periodicals including The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The New York Times, Best American Poetry 2020, and many others. Griffiths is widely known for her literary portraits, fine art photography, and lyric videos.
She received the MFA in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and is the recipient of numerous fellowships including Robert Rauschenberg Foundation, Provincetown Fine Arts Work Center, Kimbilio, Cave Canem Foundation, Vermont Studio Center, Millay Colony, and Yaddo.
Her literary and visual work has been widely published in journals, magazines, anthologies, and periodicals including The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The New York Times, Best American Poetry 2020, and many others. Griffiths is widely known for her literary portraits, fine art photography, and lyric videos.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 92 reviews
February 7, 2026
firstly, thank you to the publisher for an arc!
it is always hard to “rate” a memoir, especially one filled with an intense and immense amount of tragic loss such as rachel eliza griffiths’, but despite her grief, griffiths perseveres, which ignites hope in readers willing to acknowledge and embrace her strength.
i also listened to the audio, and i always appreciate the author narrating their own story.
it is always hard to “rate” a memoir, especially one filled with an intense and immense amount of tragic loss such as rachel eliza griffiths’, but despite her grief, griffiths perseveres, which ignites hope in readers willing to acknowledge and embrace her strength.
i also listened to the audio, and i always appreciate the author narrating their own story.
February 26, 2026
Rachel Eliza Griffiths has been through a heck of a lot. In this memoir, she focuses on her grief over the death of her close friend – who tragically passed on the author’s wedding date – and the horrifying stabbing her husband experienced. Griffiths also writes about other topics such as her mental health (e.g., having dissociative identity disorder) and being a Black woman poet.
I appreciate Griffiths vulnerability, though where I think this memoir suffered on a writing-level was that it had so many ideas but didn’t fully develop many of them. For example, in her writing about her mental health, it just felt unresolved. I’m not saying every topic needs a neat and tidy resolution, but the structure came across as unfocused to me. Her writing itself was a bit purple prose-y for me. A read with interesting ideas that I wish I could recommend more highly.
I appreciate Griffiths vulnerability, though where I think this memoir suffered on a writing-level was that it had so many ideas but didn’t fully develop many of them. For example, in her writing about her mental health, it just felt unresolved. I’m not saying every topic needs a neat and tidy resolution, but the structure came across as unfocused to me. Her writing itself was a bit purple prose-y for me. A read with interesting ideas that I wish I could recommend more highly.
October 13, 2025
I inhaled The Flower Bearers in a single sitting. With the lyricism of a poet, the sensitivity of an artist, and the intimacy of a faithful friend, Rachel Eliza Griffiths has penned a tribute to love and loss. The Flower Bearers offers us a searing reminder that to live is to insist on love relentlessly, in the face of tragedy and grief. This is a wonder of a book.
January 21, 2026
The Flower Bearers: A Memoir, from Rachel Eliza Griffiths, is many stories in one: the tale of a young black girl becoming a woman who wants to write; the story of her passionate friendships during the years of her education and beyond, especially the very close friendship that became a sisterhood with Kamilah Aisha Moon who would become a well known poet; and the great love she found in her life with Salman Rushdie. Mixed with the stories of love and joy, success and happiness, are tales of frustration, loss, grief, mental illness and the hard work of gaining back health after trauma. She married Rushdie less than a year before the nearly fatal attempt on his life. Her wedding day, perhaps the happiest day of her life, unknown to Eliza at the time, was the day of Aisha’s death. So many wounds.
This is an emotional story, written beautifully at times by the poet-author. At other times it becomes a raw emotion filled statement of hurt, self analysis, fear and hope. Rushdie is her lodestar. Recommended for those who enjoy memoirs, especially literary memoirs. Be aware that Griffiths’ memoir reflects the trauma she lived through with her losses and she voices these fully, eloquently, powerfully.
Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an eARC of this book.
This is an emotional story, written beautifully at times by the poet-author. At other times it becomes a raw emotion filled statement of hurt, self analysis, fear and hope. Rushdie is her lodestar. Recommended for those who enjoy memoirs, especially literary memoirs. Be aware that Griffiths’ memoir reflects the trauma she lived through with her losses and she voices these fully, eloquently, powerfully.
Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an eARC of this book.
December 9, 2025
It is very difficult to rate a memoir. It’s hard to relate and keep from judging how someone experiences and responds to events in their life.
I understand the loss of a best friend having a devastating affect on our lives. This memoir in my opinion depicts the responses and behaviors of a person with the luxury of privilege. In one year of my life I lost five close family members including a spouse, both parents, sister and uncle. I had a small child and a job and life had to go on. There wasn’t the luxury to curl up and drop out of life’s responsibilities indefinitely. Crying and withdrawing for years wasn’t an option. I wanted to scream “put your big girl panties on a grow up” so many times reading this book.
I am not a fan of poetry, nor am I familiar with any poets. That being said, I am probably a bigger critic than most. The entire middle of this book dragged as the author went into detail page after page listing famous poets and places where readings, workshops and auditions were held.
I have never heard of her famous husband. I did feel very badly to read of his attack and wish them a long life with much love. The writing was excellent, even though the book was a hard finish for me.
I understand the loss of a best friend having a devastating affect on our lives. This memoir in my opinion depicts the responses and behaviors of a person with the luxury of privilege. In one year of my life I lost five close family members including a spouse, both parents, sister and uncle. I had a small child and a job and life had to go on. There wasn’t the luxury to curl up and drop out of life’s responsibilities indefinitely. Crying and withdrawing for years wasn’t an option. I wanted to scream “put your big girl panties on a grow up” so many times reading this book.
I am not a fan of poetry, nor am I familiar with any poets. That being said, I am probably a bigger critic than most. The entire middle of this book dragged as the author went into detail page after page listing famous poets and places where readings, workshops and auditions were held.
I have never heard of her famous husband. I did feel very badly to read of his attack and wish them a long life with much love. The writing was excellent, even though the book was a hard finish for me.
February 7, 2026
I started the Flower Bearers by Rachel Eliza Griffiths in shock and great interest. Now I’m finishing The Flower Bearers in tears, deep guttural pain, and unwell my lawd it’s too good and shows how grief can come in waves of beauty and pain. What a memoir! 👏🏾👏🏾 So well done and how she ties in the title my Lawd I’m just in shambles 😩 Just go read it 😭😭 (Trigger warnings everywhere)
October 19, 2025
4.5 stars
This book is one I won't soon - or likely ever - forget. It's deeply emotional, revealing, and powerful. Not every reader will have the tolerance for this content, but those who do should jump right in. Also, I'm not sure any person thinks they have the ability to survive what Griffiths has, and yet... if Griffiths can live it, we can witness.
Incoming readers may be aware of basic facts about the author that include her previous work and, perhaps, the fact that she's married to an incredibly famous writer (and personality in general). While both of these details - of course - play significant roles in her life, they are not the focal point of this work, and while they are the details by which I knew Griffiths at the start, they won't be the items I take with me.
This is a book about trauma, grief, relentless loss, mental illness, friendship, all forms of love, grit, and personal evolution. Griffiths writes in depth about the ways in which our relationships shape us and about what we choose to reveal and hold back in certain circumstances. Her relationship with her mother, her best friend, her dog, and her current husband are all highlights of these explorations,
I knew so little about Griffiths when I started this read, and the discovery process made the journey even more impactful. I recommend limiting added exposure to the author's life and experience on the way in. Let her tell you what happened and what it means.
This is a hard book because it is honest and life puts us through the paces: some of us more than others. Readers who can handle it (and when I tell you that if CW or TW ever impact your choices, you need to look at them for this one) should crack this as soon as they're able. I'll be thinking about this one and feeling grateful to Griffiths for sharing for a long, long time.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Lauren Chrisney at Penguin Random House for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
This book is one I won't soon - or likely ever - forget. It's deeply emotional, revealing, and powerful. Not every reader will have the tolerance for this content, but those who do should jump right in. Also, I'm not sure any person thinks they have the ability to survive what Griffiths has, and yet... if Griffiths can live it, we can witness.
Incoming readers may be aware of basic facts about the author that include her previous work and, perhaps, the fact that she's married to an incredibly famous writer (and personality in general). While both of these details - of course - play significant roles in her life, they are not the focal point of this work, and while they are the details by which I knew Griffiths at the start, they won't be the items I take with me.
This is a book about trauma, grief, relentless loss, mental illness, friendship, all forms of love, grit, and personal evolution. Griffiths writes in depth about the ways in which our relationships shape us and about what we choose to reveal and hold back in certain circumstances. Her relationship with her mother, her best friend, her dog, and her current husband are all highlights of these explorations,
I knew so little about Griffiths when I started this read, and the discovery process made the journey even more impactful. I recommend limiting added exposure to the author's life and experience on the way in. Let her tell you what happened and what it means.
This is a hard book because it is honest and life puts us through the paces: some of us more than others. Readers who can handle it (and when I tell you that if CW or TW ever impact your choices, you need to look at them for this one) should crack this as soon as they're able. I'll be thinking about this one and feeling grateful to Griffiths for sharing for a long, long time.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Lauren Chrisney at Penguin Random House for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
October 27, 2025
The Flower Bearers is a searing, raw book about sudden loss, violence, and grief. It was engrossing and incredibly candid. As difficult as the events depicted were, there is also so much love. I also really enjoyed hearing about the author's life as a writer and what it means to have writer-sister-friends who understand you on a deep and spiritual level. This book is written by a poet and you can tell. I loved the section where she drops punctuation rules and where it feels like we are suddenly in the middle of a poem. I felt like the ending was maybe a bit rushed. I didn't need a pat resolution, but I wanted to understand a little better where the author is right now in terms of these losses and traumas. This was the first book of Griffith's I read, and I'm excited to read more of her work.
Thanks to NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
Thanks to NetGalley for an advanced reader copy of this book.
March 29, 2026
First memoir I’ve been able to relate to and perhaps my favorite memoir I’ve ever read<3 I experienced every single emotion while reading this book. I love poets, I love being a young black writer in New York, I love a sense of immediacy when recalling memory, I love female friendships and I love reading knowing that every single word on the page is intentional.
March 13, 2026
Griffiths’s wedding to Rushdie also doubles as the day she loses Aisha, her best friend. Her memoir recounts the two women’s friendship because ever since they connected at college, Aisha has been Griffiths’s home. As Black women who share a love for poetry and writing, they studied works by Clifton, Walker, Bambara, and Lorde, their beloved “literary ancestral tribe,” “a literary foremother.” Griffiths winds back time to tell her coming-of-age story, navigating dissociative, people-pleasing, and finding her voice as a writer, all alongside Aisha. Aisha held her down in low moments and cheered her on in the high ones. As if the messiness of these overlapping events weren’t enough, months after Aisha’s death, Rushdie sustains the knife attack. Griffiths grapples with potentially losing her new husband and works through supporting him in recovery.
When the author returns to Aisha’s grave to say goodbye, she recognizes her role as a Flower Bearer. Calling on Hurston’s funeral as an example, Griffiths retrieves this forgotten role, which was “more likely to be incorporated into Black Funerals.” Flower Bearers “were at first very young girls” who were “relatives of the departed loved ones.” Griffiths bears flowers to Aisha’s homegoing, and she will remember to give herself flowers.
Griffiths memoir keeps readers in suspense as we sense that something has gone awry on her wedding day, and she holds off on revealing Aisha’s death until later—that is, until Griffiths eulogizes her sister. In time, the author celebrates Aisha and mourns her death in detail. What remains less clear to me is how her dissociative identity disorder affects her life, including her grief and the meaning of giving herself flowers.
On a slightly different note, one of the most impactful scenes of the book was when Griffiths met Morrison for the first time. As a published author, Griffiths meets Morrison and gifts her a book of poems that Griffiths wrote for Morrison. What a moving picture of meeting one’s scholarly heroes, being able to thank them for their work, and building on their legacy.
I rate The Flower Bearers 3.5 stars.
My thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an ARC.
When the author returns to Aisha’s grave to say goodbye, she recognizes her role as a Flower Bearer. Calling on Hurston’s funeral as an example, Griffiths retrieves this forgotten role, which was “more likely to be incorporated into Black Funerals.” Flower Bearers “were at first very young girls” who were “relatives of the departed loved ones.” Griffiths bears flowers to Aisha’s homegoing, and she will remember to give herself flowers.
Griffiths memoir keeps readers in suspense as we sense that something has gone awry on her wedding day, and she holds off on revealing Aisha’s death until later—that is, until Griffiths eulogizes her sister. In time, the author celebrates Aisha and mourns her death in detail. What remains less clear to me is how her dissociative identity disorder affects her life, including her grief and the meaning of giving herself flowers.
On a slightly different note, one of the most impactful scenes of the book was when Griffiths met Morrison for the first time. As a published author, Griffiths meets Morrison and gifts her a book of poems that Griffiths wrote for Morrison. What a moving picture of meeting one’s scholarly heroes, being able to thank them for their work, and building on their legacy.
I rate The Flower Bearers 3.5 stars.
My thanks to Random House and NetGalley for an ARC.
January 20, 2026
Happy Release Day!
This memoir was phenomenal. It's clear that Rachel is a poet because the writing in this is so beautifully done. I originally didn't think I would enjoy a book about grief because the emotions it often involves are ones I tend to avoid. However, I found myself flying through these pages and rooting for Rachel the entire time.
We are introduced to Rachel at such an important milestone in her life - her wedding. Yet her bestie, Aisha, isn't answering the phone, and Rachel immediately knows something is wrong. From there, we journey into Rachel's past to witness the many ways in which grief has permeated her life, as well as the budding relationship between Rachel and Aisha. Be prepared to experience a full range of emotions while reading this.
Quotes I've enjoyed:
"I understand that grief is love that has no place to go." - Regina King
"but "flower bearers" are girls or women who carry the flowers that accompany the dead."
"the trauma of our generation was attached to our ancestors, too. Each killing took a piece of us into its history, dragging us to the bottom of the slave ship, to the cradle of the Atlantic's cemetery, and we could neither forget nor forgive this. The memory of poetry itself served as our jury and forbade us to look away."
Rachel's debut novel is currently one of my 26 to read in 26, and I'm really looking forward to spending more time with her writing.
Do yourself a favor and pick this one up if you enjoy lyrically filled memoirs, but be sure to check the content warnings if you struggle with books that mention suicidal ideations, death of parents, or dissociative identity disorders.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
This memoir was phenomenal. It's clear that Rachel is a poet because the writing in this is so beautifully done. I originally didn't think I would enjoy a book about grief because the emotions it often involves are ones I tend to avoid. However, I found myself flying through these pages and rooting for Rachel the entire time.
We are introduced to Rachel at such an important milestone in her life - her wedding. Yet her bestie, Aisha, isn't answering the phone, and Rachel immediately knows something is wrong. From there, we journey into Rachel's past to witness the many ways in which grief has permeated her life, as well as the budding relationship between Rachel and Aisha. Be prepared to experience a full range of emotions while reading this.
Quotes I've enjoyed:
"I understand that grief is love that has no place to go." - Regina King
"but "flower bearers" are girls or women who carry the flowers that accompany the dead."
"the trauma of our generation was attached to our ancestors, too. Each killing took a piece of us into its history, dragging us to the bottom of the slave ship, to the cradle of the Atlantic's cemetery, and we could neither forget nor forgive this. The memory of poetry itself served as our jury and forbade us to look away."
Rachel's debut novel is currently one of my 26 to read in 26, and I'm really looking forward to spending more time with her writing.
Do yourself a favor and pick this one up if you enjoy lyrically filled memoirs, but be sure to check the content warnings if you struggle with books that mention suicidal ideations, death of parents, or dissociative identity disorders.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
February 17, 2026
I am so very grateful that Rachel Eliza Griffiths did not listen to anyone who told her she could not or should not write both poetry and prose. This book is an incredibly beautiful story of love in its many forms: love of self, of friends, chosen sisters, mothers, family, partners. In all its complexities and simplicities, its rawness and strength, its fundamental power.
I truly admire her ability to write her own story of grief, mental health, trauma, loss, friendship, and personal growth with such vulnerable depth and honesty. To do so in such a beautifully lyrical way is no small feat.
At one point she mentions that when she first set out to write this book, it wasn’t meant to be her personal story but a more general exploration of Black womanhood and sisterhood. I’m sure that would have been incredible too — but I’m so glad she chose her own story instead. Adding her voice to the powerful lineage of Black women writers who inspired her.
This was my first book of hers, and I’ll definitely be adding the rest to my TBR.
I truly admire her ability to write her own story of grief, mental health, trauma, loss, friendship, and personal growth with such vulnerable depth and honesty. To do so in such a beautifully lyrical way is no small feat.
At one point she mentions that when she first set out to write this book, it wasn’t meant to be her personal story but a more general exploration of Black womanhood and sisterhood. I’m sure that would have been incredible too — but I’m so glad she chose her own story instead. Adding her voice to the powerful lineage of Black women writers who inspired her.
This was my first book of hers, and I’ll definitely be adding the rest to my TBR.
September 29, 2025
A raw and heartbreaking memoir about the loss of a best friend who is like a sister, this book was so emotional for me. Beautifully written, I learned so much about Aisha, Rachel, their friendship and history, and Rachel’s marriage. I was so caught up in each chapter I couldn’t wait to read on to the next one to learn more. This book is a beautiful tribute to a stunning friendship.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
November 12, 2025
When I read the synopsis saying that this was a memoir by Salman Rushdie's wife, I immediately wanted to read it because of Salman Rushdie. I wanted to know what it was like to be wedded to the great Salman Rushdie, but this book is so much more than that! First of all, I can't believe I've never heard of Rachel Eliza Griffiths. I love poetry, and she happens to be a poet. She is also a gifted writer, and this is a beautifully written memoir in which she recounts some very vulnerable moments of her life in such a poignantly descriptive way. I read much of this book with tears in my eyes. She details her upbringing, friendships and relationships, losses, and personal struggles with mental illness. She discloses really personal experiences in such an authentic way.
This book is beautiful. I loved it. I can't wait for it to come out in hardcover so I can buy it and keep it forever. Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for the ARC.
This book is beautiful. I loved it. I can't wait for it to come out in hardcover so I can buy it and keep it forever. Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for the ARC.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Wow. I'm not sure I have the words to describe how profoundly I felt this biomythography (Griffiths doesn't call it that, but refers the term coined by Audre Lorde, and it feels appropriate to the scope of this work). I'm ashamed to admit that I am not quite tuned into the world of Black poetry as I should be, and only heard of Rachel Eliza Griffiths in the context of her being my literary hero Salman Rushdie's wife, and how besotted he is with her magnificence in his work based on the events around the horrific attack on him a couple of years ago. In her work, Griffiths not only brings you the other half of that beautiful love story, but also masterfully writes about a tapestry of life and living and becoming a Black, queer, female poet and artist in America, during times of great reckonings, global and personal. Her love story with Rushdie is juxtaposed against her relationship with her soul sister, poet Aisha Moon, and the tragic passing of Aisha on the day of her wedding. With that inflection point, Griffiths tells a tale of two young aspiring poets navigating their place in the tribe of Black poets, authors, thinkers across time, and growing together through shared joys, sorrows and struggles with personal demons and loving each other fiercely. This is a story that only a poet can tell, even in prose, carrying you with the gentle yet formidable waves of deeply vulnerable imagery and a touch of spirituality that feels all too tangible. There is so much about her life and experience of grief that are nothing like mine and can never be, and yet I recognize the profound feeling of connection to an ancient tribe of Others and the specific urges in grieving a soul sibling. It gutted me and made me feel seen and less alone and part of a tribe of those who are made to feel like they are the wrong kind of too much.
Thanks to Netgalley for the ebook ARC. I will not stop raving about this for a long long time.
Thanks to Netgalley for the ebook ARC. I will not stop raving about this for a long long time.
March 2, 2026
A poetic, nonlinear memoir centered on grief, mental health, identity, and the power of chosen sisterhood. The prose is vivid and intimate, offering a rare first-person look at dissociative identity disorder and healing through music and poetry. While emotionally resonant, the frequent timeline shifts and lack of clear structure made it difficult to follow and less impactful overall.
Quotes I love:
Chapter 20 - “why do I think I need anyone else’s permission to be myself? I can’t stand how much I care about people sometimes. Why do I have to be wounded or make everyone feel comfortable with me so I’m not threatening?” - author
Chapter 20 - “In the living room I paused at the counter to look at the wildflowers which were already wilting. I couldn’t throw them away. They were innocent.” -author
Chapter 34 -“The only thing we knew for sure was that we would take care of each other as we waited to see what was coming next.” - author (talking about her and spouse)
“Do you always give your flowers away or do you save some for yourself?”
“No matter how it may appear I am not rootless” - kamilah Aisha moon “disbelief”
“We are her flowers”
“Chosen sister”
Quotes I love:
Chapter 20 - “why do I think I need anyone else’s permission to be myself? I can’t stand how much I care about people sometimes. Why do I have to be wounded or make everyone feel comfortable with me so I’m not threatening?” - author
Chapter 20 - “In the living room I paused at the counter to look at the wildflowers which were already wilting. I couldn’t throw them away. They were innocent.” -author
Chapter 34 -“The only thing we knew for sure was that we would take care of each other as we waited to see what was coming next.” - author (talking about her and spouse)
“Do you always give your flowers away or do you save some for yourself?”
“No matter how it may appear I am not rootless” - kamilah Aisha moon “disbelief”
“We are her flowers”
“Chosen sister”
Read
January 7, 2026Thank you to the author, publisher and Net Galley for providing an ARC.
In this memoir, poet Rachel Eliza Griffiths paints a portrait of her life, describing her life through the grief of losing her mother, getting married without the knowledge of her best friend's passing earlier that morning, and almost losing her husband to an attack, followed with how she opened herself up to new kinds of love. This book is very sad, but well written, bringing the reader into the author's life and sharing emotions. The author paints a picture of the culture of black poetry in New York that I had difficulty understanding, as so different from my life. But the book was a beautiful look at love and grief told in lyrical and beautiful manners.
3.5 stars
In this memoir, poet Rachel Eliza Griffiths paints a portrait of her life, describing her life through the grief of losing her mother, getting married without the knowledge of her best friend's passing earlier that morning, and almost losing her husband to an attack, followed with how she opened herself up to new kinds of love. This book is very sad, but well written, bringing the reader into the author's life and sharing emotions. The author paints a picture of the culture of black poetry in New York that I had difficulty understanding, as so different from my life. But the book was a beautiful look at love and grief told in lyrical and beautiful manners.
3.5 stars
March 7, 2026
Great read. There is a lot of sadness here but it is just one part of the story - it’s a beautiful testament to friendship, and the memoir really shines when we are taken into the world of Eliza and Aisha as young people discovering who they are as writers. Reminded me of Ann Patchett’s Truth and Beauty. Highly vivid and alive, and not too hokey, which feels unusual in a book that is very much about grief.
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March 11, 2026A lyrical and vulnerable memoir on grief. Rachel Eliza writes in an unmistakably poet's prose as she recounts her encounters of death and trauma. This memoir was HEAVY, but wrapped in beautiful language and the bitter sweet realization that our time with those we love is limited. While Rachel Eliza is notorious for her relationship as wife to Salman Rushdie, and while this memoir was packaged as that to me, I found it was a meditation on the incalculable value friendship more than anything.
March 15, 2026
Thank you to Random House and NetGalley for the ARC!!
This was such an interesting and well detailed book! I adored the way Rachel wrote about her relationship with both Aisha and Salman.
Grief is something that is so hard to grapple with. It takes on so many different forms and especially on the day that is meant to be one of your happiest, it can be hard to identify and differentiate what you want and what you need to do in order to grieve and move on.
This was such an interesting and well detailed book! I adored the way Rachel wrote about her relationship with both Aisha and Salman.
Grief is something that is so hard to grapple with. It takes on so many different forms and especially on the day that is meant to be one of your happiest, it can be hard to identify and differentiate what you want and what you need to do in order to grieve and move on.
Want to read
September 22, 2025Should I read it ?Is it worth or the cover is just niccceee !!!
February 3, 2026
So beautiful❤️
February 25, 2026
First literary league meeting :) hard not to give this one five stars. So incredibly tragic and moving, very inspiring to read about such a resilient author
January 29, 2026
4.5 stars, rounded up
February 13, 2026
Wow! This book is HEAVY. I had to alternate reading this along with a 'light' story. The real people who are poets are so deep and feel so strongly, I don't even know how to explain it. I understand so much more after reading this. I also feel so inept at understanding. This may be one book I read again.
Want to read
September 9, 2025Mentioned in Suleika Jaouad’s newsletter 9/2025
November 8, 2025
I had yet to hear of Rachel Eliza Griffiths before this work, but from the first few pages, I knew she was a poet. I will staunchly stand by the fact that poets write some of the most incredibly poignant longer works, especially memoirs, and "The Flower Bearers" was a joy to read from end to end.
In her memoir, Griffiths shares the personal and private journey of her life - her coming of age and development as a poet and writer, as well as the many individuals and relationships that have been key to her growth. And for her, her close friend Kamilah Aisha Moon, was foundational to her life, from the moment they met as graduate students in New York. In many of the pages that follow, we come to see the deepening friendship and love that grows between these two women, and the way that they nurture both their persona, artistic, and professional lives. The two share a love of the same poets and authors, as well as art and media, and when Griffiths gets married to author Salman Rushdie, she knows Aisha will be at her side... until she doesn't appear. The unexpected passing of her friend forces her to confront unimaginable loss and grief - until less than a year later, Griffiths is once again shocked to learn of the attempted murder of her husband, and the repercussions the attack will have on their lives going forward.
Griffiths prose is stunning and lyrical, not only the choice of words but the way the sentences flow and end, the pauses and rises deliberately chosen. It is what captivated me from the beginning and held me through to the final few sentences. The memoir is not strictly chronological, as she seamlessly between time periods and moments, but helps to tie together her present with her past. I loved her descriptions of those around her, from her family, her friends, and her first encounter and eventual marriage to Salman, as they feel true-to-life, and the relationships she forms that much more concrete. She goes through so many themes - love and friendship, mental illness, loss and grief, trauma, art and literature - that are somehow condensed in this deceptively short work.
A recommended read when "The Flower Bearers" is published in January 2026!
In her memoir, Griffiths shares the personal and private journey of her life - her coming of age and development as a poet and writer, as well as the many individuals and relationships that have been key to her growth. And for her, her close friend Kamilah Aisha Moon, was foundational to her life, from the moment they met as graduate students in New York. In many of the pages that follow, we come to see the deepening friendship and love that grows between these two women, and the way that they nurture both their persona, artistic, and professional lives. The two share a love of the same poets and authors, as well as art and media, and when Griffiths gets married to author Salman Rushdie, she knows Aisha will be at her side... until she doesn't appear. The unexpected passing of her friend forces her to confront unimaginable loss and grief - until less than a year later, Griffiths is once again shocked to learn of the attempted murder of her husband, and the repercussions the attack will have on their lives going forward.
Griffiths prose is stunning and lyrical, not only the choice of words but the way the sentences flow and end, the pauses and rises deliberately chosen. It is what captivated me from the beginning and held me through to the final few sentences. The memoir is not strictly chronological, as she seamlessly between time periods and moments, but helps to tie together her present with her past. I loved her descriptions of those around her, from her family, her friends, and her first encounter and eventual marriage to Salman, as they feel true-to-life, and the relationships she forms that much more concrete. She goes through so many themes - love and friendship, mental illness, loss and grief, trauma, art and literature - that are somehow condensed in this deceptively short work.
A recommended read when "The Flower Bearers" is published in January 2026!
February 21, 2026
After finishing THE FLOWER BEARERS, a rather crude thought surfaced unannounced in my mind.
It was a barely articulate suggestion that this dissonant, tender and exuberant but often frightening memoir by American poet, novelist and photographer Rachel Eliza Griffiths should have one of those warning stickers on the dust jacket --- something to the effect that its contents include graphic descriptions of mental illness that may not be suitable for all readers. Believe it or not, I mean this as a note of praise. She tells it like it is, in almost present-tense immediacy.
Yet the volume of content specific to Griffiths’ long struggle with diagnosed dissociative identity disorder and its accompanying anxiety issues is far less dominant than many other currents of emotional, artistic and creative tension running through her life.
From the fragmented imagery of an unstable childhood, through her chaotic young adult years as an intermittently successful aspiring poet, to a more grounded middle age --- marked by her dramatic marriage to the notoriously brilliant Indian-born novelist Salman Rushdie --- THE FLOWER BEARERS weaves a haphazard but honest account of a life lived mainly at its most extreme edges.
As an artist whose creativity feeds on amplified and multilayered emotion, Griffiths pours eloquent and profound meaning into her relationships --- those human ties where connection is everything and where loss can be so catastrophic as to be immobilizing, even beyond the usual parameters of grief.
The thread of loss that runs through the fabric of Griffiths’ life while simultaneously threatening to tear it apart is the sudden death --- alone and unnoticed until too late --- of her best friend and “chosen sister,” fellow poet Kamilah Aisha Moon. Moon died on the eve of Griffiths’ wedding to Rushdie. Everyone in the wedding party knew about it, except the bride herself.
When told the tragic news after the ceremony, Griffiths’ mind, heart and body fell into a black hole of uncontrollable prolonged anguish. Instead of a joyful honeymoon, Rushdie found himself caring for a new wife whose depression was so acute that at first she could not be left alone.
Within a year, as Griffiths slowly recovered her identity and focus, their roles would be reversed when Rushdie was attacked on stage at a speaking engagement by a knife-wielding would-be assassin who nearly succeeded. She is surprisingly concise and methodical in describing the dizzying sequence of events as Rushdie fought for his life. And she found within herself an unexpected reservoir of coping and supporting strength that had never appeared during previous crises.
In its 60 short chapters, THE FLOWER BEARERS often reads like extemporaneous poetry or meditative stream-of-consciousness prose. At other times, it rushes at you in a tirade of anger and frustration, particularly when Griffiths’ phone call to a New York mental wellness hotline got her arrested and brutalized by city police. Mental health breakdowns are still criminalized on a daily basis, and society is painfully slow in demanding better treatment for victims.
However, it would be rudely unjust to set aside the book without celebrating the evocative experience that gave rise to its title. It might make us think of cute little girls in flouncy dresses scattering rose petals at a wedding. But the historical role of flower bearers actually belongs to celebrations at life’s ending.
About one-third of the way into her memoir, Griffiths describes a treasured moment when she and Aisha began placing cut flowers on the graves of iconic Black American poets, beginning with James Baldwin. Every reader will find a wide choice of fitting takeaways from THE FLOWER BEARERS. This is the one that softly fastened itself to my heart.
Reviewed by Pauline Finch
It was a barely articulate suggestion that this dissonant, tender and exuberant but often frightening memoir by American poet, novelist and photographer Rachel Eliza Griffiths should have one of those warning stickers on the dust jacket --- something to the effect that its contents include graphic descriptions of mental illness that may not be suitable for all readers. Believe it or not, I mean this as a note of praise. She tells it like it is, in almost present-tense immediacy.
Yet the volume of content specific to Griffiths’ long struggle with diagnosed dissociative identity disorder and its accompanying anxiety issues is far less dominant than many other currents of emotional, artistic and creative tension running through her life.
From the fragmented imagery of an unstable childhood, through her chaotic young adult years as an intermittently successful aspiring poet, to a more grounded middle age --- marked by her dramatic marriage to the notoriously brilliant Indian-born novelist Salman Rushdie --- THE FLOWER BEARERS weaves a haphazard but honest account of a life lived mainly at its most extreme edges.
As an artist whose creativity feeds on amplified and multilayered emotion, Griffiths pours eloquent and profound meaning into her relationships --- those human ties where connection is everything and where loss can be so catastrophic as to be immobilizing, even beyond the usual parameters of grief.
The thread of loss that runs through the fabric of Griffiths’ life while simultaneously threatening to tear it apart is the sudden death --- alone and unnoticed until too late --- of her best friend and “chosen sister,” fellow poet Kamilah Aisha Moon. Moon died on the eve of Griffiths’ wedding to Rushdie. Everyone in the wedding party knew about it, except the bride herself.
When told the tragic news after the ceremony, Griffiths’ mind, heart and body fell into a black hole of uncontrollable prolonged anguish. Instead of a joyful honeymoon, Rushdie found himself caring for a new wife whose depression was so acute that at first she could not be left alone.
Within a year, as Griffiths slowly recovered her identity and focus, their roles would be reversed when Rushdie was attacked on stage at a speaking engagement by a knife-wielding would-be assassin who nearly succeeded. She is surprisingly concise and methodical in describing the dizzying sequence of events as Rushdie fought for his life. And she found within herself an unexpected reservoir of coping and supporting strength that had never appeared during previous crises.
In its 60 short chapters, THE FLOWER BEARERS often reads like extemporaneous poetry or meditative stream-of-consciousness prose. At other times, it rushes at you in a tirade of anger and frustration, particularly when Griffiths’ phone call to a New York mental wellness hotline got her arrested and brutalized by city police. Mental health breakdowns are still criminalized on a daily basis, and society is painfully slow in demanding better treatment for victims.
However, it would be rudely unjust to set aside the book without celebrating the evocative experience that gave rise to its title. It might make us think of cute little girls in flouncy dresses scattering rose petals at a wedding. But the historical role of flower bearers actually belongs to celebrations at life’s ending.
About one-third of the way into her memoir, Griffiths describes a treasured moment when she and Aisha began placing cut flowers on the graves of iconic Black American poets, beginning with James Baldwin. Every reader will find a wide choice of fitting takeaways from THE FLOWER BEARERS. This is the one that softly fastened itself to my heart.
Reviewed by Pauline Finch
February 8, 2026
What initially attracted me to this memoir was its connection to Salman Rushdie, an author whose work I admire. Yet its intimate and searching internal monologue and lyrical prose proved to be a most pleasant surprise. Ultimately, the Rushdie connection is only a minor part of a more expansive and thoughtful work. Griffiths does indeed render her relationship to Rushdie with remarkable restraint and tenderness. Her vantage point is not the sensationalized attack Rushdie suffered at the hands of a knife-wielding zealot and its aftermath, but expands into the fragile, loving intimacy of their shared life suddenly shattered by violence. Unfortunately, this event becomes just one devastating point around which her internal monologue must reorganize itself. Others include the Covid pandemic and the deaths of her mother and a beloved friend.
The untimely death of her close friend, the poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, deepens the memoir’s meditation on artistic kinship and shared ambition. Its grief is quieter but no less profound than the attack on Rushdie because it captures the particular ache of losing someone who understood her work from the inside and bore witness to her becoming. This loss sharpens the memoir’s sense of isolation, while also underscoring how art is sustained through community as much as solitude.
In her writing, Griffiths is less interested in narrative momentum than in reflection characterized by pauses for moments that carry immense emotional weight for her. Her prose emphasizes the complexity of living with loss and her private negotiations of survival, memory, and meaning. The quiet unfolding of these thought gives the book sizeable force.
Central throughout also is Griffiths’ experience as a Black woman and artist navigating spaces that are often indifferent, if not hostile, to her presence. She captures the quiet exhaustion of having to absorb racial and gendered pressures while sustaining her own artistic integrity. Creative doubt and negotiations between visibility and self-realization inevitably accompany such struggles.
Ultimately, this is a memoir that feels both deeply personal and quietly expansive. It is a testament to artistic survival, shared vulnerability, and the difficult grace of continuing to bear flowers after much challenge.
The untimely death of her close friend, the poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, deepens the memoir’s meditation on artistic kinship and shared ambition. Its grief is quieter but no less profound than the attack on Rushdie because it captures the particular ache of losing someone who understood her work from the inside and bore witness to her becoming. This loss sharpens the memoir’s sense of isolation, while also underscoring how art is sustained through community as much as solitude.
In her writing, Griffiths is less interested in narrative momentum than in reflection characterized by pauses for moments that carry immense emotional weight for her. Her prose emphasizes the complexity of living with loss and her private negotiations of survival, memory, and meaning. The quiet unfolding of these thought gives the book sizeable force.
Central throughout also is Griffiths’ experience as a Black woman and artist navigating spaces that are often indifferent, if not hostile, to her presence. She captures the quiet exhaustion of having to absorb racial and gendered pressures while sustaining her own artistic integrity. Creative doubt and negotiations between visibility and self-realization inevitably accompany such struggles.
Ultimately, this is a memoir that feels both deeply personal and quietly expansive. It is a testament to artistic survival, shared vulnerability, and the difficult grace of continuing to bear flowers after much challenge.
December 11, 2025
The Flower Bearers swallowed me whole.
When it comes to her personal life, Rachel Eliza Griffiths self-describes as an extremely private person, so it did not come as a surprise to me that I wasn't familiar with her name. I had not yet come across her poetry collections, and I hadn't heard her name in passing as Salman Rushdie's wife. After reading The Flower Bearers, I won't forget her name.
On the surface, the meat of her story is presented as a series of rapid tragedies: the death of her mother, the death of her best friend's—Kamilah Aisha Moon's— mother, Moon's death on the weekend of Griffith's wedding to Rushdie, and Rushdie's violent, public stabbing while lecturing in New York. Moon's death and Rushdie's stabbing happened within a calendar year of one another. The heart of Griffith's story, however, is lovingly presented over the years preceding these inordinate losses. She lovingly chronicles her nearly twenty year friendship with Moon through their growth as writers, as poets, as black women, and as sisters. She shares so many memories of laughter, struggle, curiosity, and support that built the intricate latticework of their sisterhood and allow Moon to sparkle on the page. She keeps much of her relationship with Rushdie private, but their adoration for each other shines through what she's chosen to share.
Griffiths' identity as a poet and an artist burns through The Flower Bearers from the very first pages. Her prose breathes with stunning lyricism. She peppers the text with poetry of her own—and of Moon's—so effortlessly that it never feels like an interruption or an insertion; it belongs. Her grief is palpable, raw, and, like most grief, imperfect. Her journey to connect the self she knew with this new, post-tragedy self is an impossible feat she faces armed with some of the most cherished aspects of her friendship with Moon: identity, community, sisterhood, and the legacies left by black female writers that nurtured their love for the written word. Devastating and inspiring and beautiful.
thanks to net galley and the publisher for the arc.
When it comes to her personal life, Rachel Eliza Griffiths self-describes as an extremely private person, so it did not come as a surprise to me that I wasn't familiar with her name. I had not yet come across her poetry collections, and I hadn't heard her name in passing as Salman Rushdie's wife. After reading The Flower Bearers, I won't forget her name.
On the surface, the meat of her story is presented as a series of rapid tragedies: the death of her mother, the death of her best friend's—Kamilah Aisha Moon's— mother, Moon's death on the weekend of Griffith's wedding to Rushdie, and Rushdie's violent, public stabbing while lecturing in New York. Moon's death and Rushdie's stabbing happened within a calendar year of one another. The heart of Griffith's story, however, is lovingly presented over the years preceding these inordinate losses. She lovingly chronicles her nearly twenty year friendship with Moon through their growth as writers, as poets, as black women, and as sisters. She shares so many memories of laughter, struggle, curiosity, and support that built the intricate latticework of their sisterhood and allow Moon to sparkle on the page. She keeps much of her relationship with Rushdie private, but their adoration for each other shines through what she's chosen to share.
Griffiths' identity as a poet and an artist burns through The Flower Bearers from the very first pages. Her prose breathes with stunning lyricism. She peppers the text with poetry of her own—and of Moon's—so effortlessly that it never feels like an interruption or an insertion; it belongs. Her grief is palpable, raw, and, like most grief, imperfect. Her journey to connect the self she knew with this new, post-tragedy self is an impossible feat she faces armed with some of the most cherished aspects of her friendship with Moon: identity, community, sisterhood, and the legacies left by black female writers that nurtured their love for the written word. Devastating and inspiring and beautiful.
thanks to net galley and the publisher for the arc.
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