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Осознание
Книги всемирно известного индийского священника-иезуита Энтони де Мелло популярны и любимы во многих странах. Гармоничное сочетание элементов христианской духовной культуры, буддистских притч, индуистских дыхательных упражнений и ярких философских прозрений превращает его блестящие проповеди в настоящее откровение.
"Осознание" - это призыв пробудиться от кошмара, который мы называем действительностью, и заново открыть для себя счастье подлинной жизни. Увлекательная, темпераментная и парадоксальная книга де Мелло - эффективное лекарство от скуки и разочарования.
"Осознание" - это призыв пробудиться от кошмара, который мы называем действительностью, и заново открыть для себя счастье подлинной жизни. Увлекательная, темпераментная и парадоксальная книга де Мелло - эффективное лекарство от скуки и разочарования.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1990
3754 people are currently reading
30615 people want to read
About the author
Anthony de Mello
174 books996 followersAnthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who became widely known for his books on spirituality. An internationally acclaimed spiritual guide, writer and public speaker, de Mello hosted many spiritual conferences.
The few talks which he allowed to be filmed, such as "A Rediscovery of Life" and "A Way to God for Today," have inspired many viewers and audiences throughout the United States, Canada, and Central America. De Mello established a prayer center in India. He died suddenly in 1987. His works are readily available and additional writings were published after his death.
In 1998, some of his opinions were condemned by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who later became Pope Benedict XVI, wrote for the Congregation:
"But already in certain passages in [his] early works and to a greater degree in his later publications, one notices a progressive distancing from the essential contents of the Christian faith. ... With the present Notification, in order to protect the good of the Christian faithful, this Congregation declares that the above-mentioned positions are incompatible with the Catholic faith and can cause grave harm."
Some editions of his books have since been supplemented with the insertion of a caution:
"The books of Father Anthony de Mello were written in a multi-religious context to help the followers of other religions, agnostics and atheists in their spiritual search, and they were not intended by the author as manuals of instruction of the Catholic faithful in Christian doctrine or dogma."
The few talks which he allowed to be filmed, such as "A Rediscovery of Life" and "A Way to God for Today," have inspired many viewers and audiences throughout the United States, Canada, and Central America. De Mello established a prayer center in India. He died suddenly in 1987. His works are readily available and additional writings were published after his death.
In 1998, some of his opinions were condemned by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who later became Pope Benedict XVI, wrote for the Congregation:
"But already in certain passages in [his] early works and to a greater degree in his later publications, one notices a progressive distancing from the essential contents of the Christian faith. ... With the present Notification, in order to protect the good of the Christian faithful, this Congregation declares that the above-mentioned positions are incompatible with the Catholic faith and can cause grave harm."
Some editions of his books have since been supplemented with the insertion of a caution:
"The books of Father Anthony de Mello were written in a multi-religious context to help the followers of other religions, agnostics and atheists in their spiritual search, and they were not intended by the author as manuals of instruction of the Catholic faithful in Christian doctrine or dogma."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,333 reviews
March 7, 2021
This is one of the more personally challenging books I've ever read. It made me think... hard. I wanted to sit down and argue with this guy. I didn't like how it was written. I didn't like what he said about people and selfishness and being and love, but I can't stop thinking about it. The more time passes, the more I think thiss asshole is on to something. The Pope must have thoght so too, since he EXCOMMUNICATED HIM FOR WRITING IT.
March 16, 2023
"You guys are such idiots. Just look at you all. Fretting about, worrying, stressing about everything... But hey, I have the key to take all of your stresses away! Yes, I do! Look closely in my eyes, though, because before you have the chance to ask me what that key is, and why I'm not explaining it properly to you, I'm going to slam a little cute story in your face that is going to distract you from the fact that I have actually just told you nothing at all”. Voilà! Clap! Boom! It's magic!
I'm giving this trickster's book 2 stars and not only 1 because there are some snippets, here and there, of interesting, good stuff (mainly the quotations from the Fathers of the Church). The vast majority of the book's 184 pages, however, are filled with vague, NewAgey, PauloCoelhoey banalities and platitudes.
De Mello sometimes hits at some profound spiritual concepts, sourcing from induism, buddhism and christianity, but it's all done in a very simplistic, conversational and superficial way. Mostly, he keeps blurting out empty slogans like a Jesuit Tony Robbins: "Wake up!". He will write sentences like "One of the signs that you've awakened is that... ". The horror, the horror!
His main missteps are his over-rationalization of life and his posing as the wise guru. Here is a perfect example:
"When my own mother got cancer, my sister said to me: "Tony, why did God allow this to happen to Mother?". I said to her "My dear, last year over a million people starved in China because of the drought, and you never raised a question".
He’s probably lucky his sister didn't have a knife in her hand at that moment.
Anyway, I bet he was an extremely charismatic individual to be in the same room with.
But this book is wishy-washy, bland tripe.
I'm giving this trickster's book 2 stars and not only 1 because there are some snippets, here and there, of interesting, good stuff (mainly the quotations from the Fathers of the Church). The vast majority of the book's 184 pages, however, are filled with vague, NewAgey, PauloCoelhoey banalities and platitudes.
De Mello sometimes hits at some profound spiritual concepts, sourcing from induism, buddhism and christianity, but it's all done in a very simplistic, conversational and superficial way. Mostly, he keeps blurting out empty slogans like a Jesuit Tony Robbins: "Wake up!". He will write sentences like "One of the signs that you've awakened is that... ". The horror, the horror!
His main missteps are his over-rationalization of life and his posing as the wise guru. Here is a perfect example:
"When my own mother got cancer, my sister said to me: "Tony, why did God allow this to happen to Mother?". I said to her "My dear, last year over a million people starved in China because of the drought, and you never raised a question".
He’s probably lucky his sister didn't have a knife in her hand at that moment.
Anyway, I bet he was an extremely charismatic individual to be in the same room with.
But this book is wishy-washy, bland tripe.
March 29, 2008
I picked up this book at a monastery in Northern California about 10 years ago and have kept it close ever since.
De Mello, espousing no religious agenda, contends we've been brainwashed as to our typical ideas of love and happiness. This untypical priest--his writings were denounced by the Pope--says our attachments, illusions, conditioning and general unawareness keep us anxiety-ridden. (Maybe the Pope didn't like de Mello's appreciation of the prostitute scene in Fellini's "8 1/2.")
The author says, "If we really dropped illusions, we would be alert. The consequence of not doing this is terrifying and unescapable. We lose our capacity to love. If you wish to love, you must learn to see again....How can you love someone whom you do not even see? Do you really see someone you're attached to?"
And once we have the "awareness" he asks, "Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last! You no longer feel the need or the compulsion to explain things anymore."
Read this book and feel free.
De Mello, espousing no religious agenda, contends we've been brainwashed as to our typical ideas of love and happiness. This untypical priest--his writings were denounced by the Pope--says our attachments, illusions, conditioning and general unawareness keep us anxiety-ridden. (Maybe the Pope didn't like de Mello's appreciation of the prostitute scene in Fellini's "8 1/2.")
The author says, "If we really dropped illusions, we would be alert. The consequence of not doing this is terrifying and unescapable. We lose our capacity to love. If you wish to love, you must learn to see again....How can you love someone whom you do not even see? Do you really see someone you're attached to?"
And once we have the "awareness" he asks, "Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last! You no longer feel the need or the compulsion to explain things anymore."
Read this book and feel free.
January 1, 2024
No review, just a few quotes I enjoyed.
“Happiness is our natural state. Happiness is the natural state of little children, to whom the kingdom belongs until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidity of society and culture.”
“The only way someone can be of help to you is in challenging your ideas.”
“As one man said, "I got a pretty good education. It took me years to get over it." That's what spirituality is all about, you know: unlearning. Unlearning all the rubbish they taught you.”
“We see things and people not as they are, but as we are.”
“Happiness is our natural state. Happiness is the natural state of little children, to whom the kingdom belongs until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidity of society and culture.”
“The only way someone can be of help to you is in challenging your ideas.”
“As one man said, "I got a pretty good education. It took me years to get over it." That's what spirituality is all about, you know: unlearning. Unlearning all the rubbish they taught you.”
“We see things and people not as they are, but as we are.”
January 8, 2009
My favorite spiritual book. Anthony de Mello helped me to understand, "I'm an ass, you're an ass". He tells us we're all sleeping, and he clobbers us over the head with a wake up call.
November 21, 2019
How to write a best-selling spiritual / self-improvement book?
Challenge peoples' thoughts. Destroy their beliefs, no matter what they are. Tell them how miserably they are leading their lives, what scoundrels and idiots they have been all through.
(Yes, people love to hear that. Probably, that's the reason they have taken up that book/course. A perfectly happy person would seldom pick-up a spiritually enlightening book.)
Ask them tough questions. What is "happiness"? Who is "I"? What is life's goal? You don't have to offer any intellectual answer. Just ask the questions and say "nay" to their fragmented answers.
Now, tell them the things they already know, in a suave manner, with lots of funny anecdotes that they can relate to or laugh about. Quote some philosophers / gurus of the past. "Know Thyself", "Desire not, Suffer not." If you can fuse the ideas of different cultures/ belief systems, you become a rock-star. And finally conclude with something like, "Live in the present. Don't think about the past.", "Transform yourself if you want to see a change in the world", "Be aware of your surroundings", and you will see people nodding around. That gives the hope to people who still believe that there is much more to life than the wretched mechanical life they are clinging on to.
P.S. If you have already read J Krishnamurthy or Osho's books, you can safely avoid this book. And if you haven't read those books, then read those first.
Challenge peoples' thoughts. Destroy their beliefs, no matter what they are. Tell them how miserably they are leading their lives, what scoundrels and idiots they have been all through.
(Yes, people love to hear that. Probably, that's the reason they have taken up that book/course. A perfectly happy person would seldom pick-up a spiritually enlightening book.)
Ask them tough questions. What is "happiness"? Who is "I"? What is life's goal? You don't have to offer any intellectual answer. Just ask the questions and say "nay" to their fragmented answers.
Now, tell them the things they already know, in a suave manner, with lots of funny anecdotes that they can relate to or laugh about. Quote some philosophers / gurus of the past. "Know Thyself", "Desire not, Suffer not." If you can fuse the ideas of different cultures/ belief systems, you become a rock-star. And finally conclude with something like, "Live in the present. Don't think about the past.", "Transform yourself if you want to see a change in the world", "Be aware of your surroundings", and you will see people nodding around. That gives the hope to people who still believe that there is much more to life than the wretched mechanical life they are clinging on to.
P.S. If you have already read J Krishnamurthy or Osho's books, you can safely avoid this book. And if you haven't read those books, then read those first.
January 3, 2023
Really? "Spirituality"? Not even close.
This self help book is so horribly awful that all it will help is make you wonder why someone would write such duplicitous and angry deceit in the first place. De Mello, begins by proclaiming that everyone in the world is asleep, and that most will never "wake up", and this mantra is repeated ad nauseam, throughout the entire book (actually almost written on every page) and he really never explains how one is to "wake up" other than exhorting that you actually DON'T want to wake up. Blah, blah, blah., and so it goes on.
one stars because it makes for great kindling. :-D
This self help book is so horribly awful that all it will help is make you wonder why someone would write such duplicitous and angry deceit in the first place. De Mello, begins by proclaiming that everyone in the world is asleep, and that most will never "wake up", and this mantra is repeated ad nauseam, throughout the entire book (actually almost written on every page) and he really never explains how one is to "wake up" other than exhorting that you actually DON'T want to wake up. Blah, blah, blah., and so it goes on.
one stars because it makes for great kindling. :-D
October 16, 2024
Awareness, Anthony de Mello's most popular book, is a beautiful bridge between Western and Eastern spiritual thought. de Mello was a Roman Catholic priest who grew up in India, and his intimate familiarity with both traditions combined with a deep understanding of world mysticism provide seekers of a Western background (i.e., Christian) a thought provoking introduction to Eastern spiritual thought. After his death in 1987, de Mello was censured by the Vatican's Defeneders of the Faith (headed at that time by Joseph Ratzinger, who later served briefly as Pope). Consequently, his books are not allowed to be sold in official Roman Catholic bookstores. All the more reason to read them ;-)
October 5, 2014
After quite some time, I finished reading "Awareness" by Anthony de Mello.
Although it is not long, and the language is not difficult, the book is not easy to read or like. It is not written for entertainment, but for thinking, thinking beyond everyday routine. It criticizes society and human values. It will turn your world upside down, well, at least that's what I felt after reading it. I think it will take me forever to process everything I read in the book, and, probably, forever would not be enough. After all, what I came to agree with is that "...we don't want to wake up. Waking up is unpleasant."
Recommended to everyone ready to look at one's life from another angle.
Although it is not long, and the language is not difficult, the book is not easy to read or like. It is not written for entertainment, but for thinking, thinking beyond everyday routine. It criticizes society and human values. It will turn your world upside down, well, at least that's what I felt after reading it. I think it will take me forever to process everything I read in the book, and, probably, forever would not be enough. After all, what I came to agree with is that "...we don't want to wake up. Waking up is unpleasant."
Recommended to everyone ready to look at one's life from another angle.
September 15, 2025
Catching Up…
If there was anyone who could be considered the perfect spiritual teacher, Anthony DeMello would be it.
And…If there was any book that could be considered the perfect book to begin with, this would be it.
“Spirituality means waking up.”
To begin one’s own journey with life, might be to open oneself to themselves.
And…To do that would be just a willingness to look within.
“Life is a banquet, and the tragedy is that most people are starving to death,” the author says. He goes on to share that people are missing the smorgasbord because we (people) are so obsessed with success and failure, poverty and riches, honor and/or disgrace. That because of this obsession we are not living out of our own center.
He feels that waking up means living in the present and not allowing others, or culture, or conditioning, or what other people tell us to determine our world.
He continues to share that awakened souls are free from a life determined by fear. He believes that people can grow and change by learning from adversity.
And…That we can grow to understand our relationships as part of our own enlightenment.
Included within: insights from Christian mystics, Islamic sayings, Buddhist parables, and much more.
The beautiful part of it all is that this book is truly a pep talk filled with life wisdom.
Sometimes…That is all readers need.
A pep talk.
If there was anyone who could be considered the perfect spiritual teacher, Anthony DeMello would be it.
And…If there was any book that could be considered the perfect book to begin with, this would be it.
“Spirituality means waking up.”
To begin one’s own journey with life, might be to open oneself to themselves.
And…To do that would be just a willingness to look within.
“Life is a banquet, and the tragedy is that most people are starving to death,” the author says. He goes on to share that people are missing the smorgasbord because we (people) are so obsessed with success and failure, poverty and riches, honor and/or disgrace. That because of this obsession we are not living out of our own center.
He feels that waking up means living in the present and not allowing others, or culture, or conditioning, or what other people tell us to determine our world.
He continues to share that awakened souls are free from a life determined by fear. He believes that people can grow and change by learning from adversity.
And…That we can grow to understand our relationships as part of our own enlightenment.
Included within: insights from Christian mystics, Islamic sayings, Buddhist parables, and much more.
The beautiful part of it all is that this book is truly a pep talk filled with life wisdom.
Sometimes…That is all readers need.
A pep talk.
June 10, 2013
Awareness Review
Well, I must really love this book. I’ve read it 3 times in my life. There was a time in my life where I wanted to wake each day with a favorite quote – I chose 52 different quotes (one for each randomly drawn card from a deck) from 5-6 books, with about 10 of the quotes from this one. The reading this most recent time in an effort to better understand the culture of India, where I am now working with several of their citizens. Anthony de Mello brought Buddhist parables, Hindu philosophies into Christian spirituality. So there is a fine mix of a Catholic template with an overlay of Eastern mysticism. At times in this life, I reach out from the Puritan work ethic and strict quid pro quo level of spirituality to someone who is saying, “not this, not this”. Try this DeMello quote from the middle of the book: “When you said, ‘I was a success,’ you were in error; you were plunged into darkness. You identified yourself with things. You’re going to cling to them, you’re going to be worried that they may fall apart, and that’s where your suffering comes in. That is what I meant earlier when I said to you, ‘If you’re suffering, you’re asleep’… suffering is a sign that you’re out of touch with the truth.”
I am told that the Catholic Chuch, under the writings of future Pope Benedict, issued a notification questioning if de Mello went too far in his belief system. Along the line of “the only knowing is unknowing: the less identification with the world, the better. For most of society, I would believe this to be true. But isolation can go too far. Speaking of all of reality as illusion doesn’t leave a person much to grab a hold of. Here is the full Bishop Ratzinger notification. Nowhere does it say that he’s some sinister, dangerous writer though. I think he’s a refreshing change from a life of immersion.
http://web.archive.org/web/2006111505...
What I get into from de Mello is his easy grasp on what might be the most common U.S. habits. This one’s kind of fun, because it poker at India adapting to American habits. “In India, many of our poor people are starting to get transistor radios, which are quite a luxury. (May as well be a smart phone). ‘Everybody has a transistor,’ you hear, ‘but I don’t have a transistor; I’m so unhappy.’ Until everyone started getting transistors, they were perfectly happy without one. Until somebody told you you wouldn’t be happy unless you were loved, you were perfectly happy.”
The frolicking short 2-3 page chapters made the book especially amusing. Like a good homily, you get a soundbite to catch your attention, a couple of Buddhist parables to twist your assumptions a little and then a drumbeat of his different themes which stretch through the book. This style is made effective through some level of repetition that I’m sure some readers find frustrating: “Quit telling me to release myself from the dependencies of the world in 57 different ways. I get it already!” But most everyone does not. If you ask a person if they could give up their established way of life right now and accept that the suit of armor known as your body is temporary, could most do it? De Mello wants to wear you down to the point where you could give it all up for a better reality.
But the book seems to have an ephemeral quality to it. Most of what I’ve seen of self-help books have anecdotes of current people in current situations for the therapist/psychiatrist to draw off of. De Mello chooses the timeless metaphors, leaving the book to read like a New Testament set of readings and accompanying homily. Where is the mention of current Presidents or Prime Minister or Social Issues? It’s refreshing that he steers clear of politics or personal struggles and moves to the struggles that we must all go through. I can imagine for some readers though, this book will seem like an exploration of Mars for solutions to problems on Earth. It’s out there a bit, with the spray of allegories.
So, one of the frustrating parts of working through the Eastern mysticism is the continued theme of “if you meet the Buddha on the road, shoot him!” as if to say if you are trying to find the truth, you had better believe that what you find won’t be the truth. But unlike my typical experience of Eastern philosophy, this one seems to point to a way forward rather than just where NOT to find the truth. He points to a model of viewing what is happening to oneself as the “me”, where there is an additional, eternal “I” who is looking on as the omniscient observer. The “me” can be in pain, can be confused, can be divided, can be feeling elation, but each is transient and the forever “I” knows that all of it is the experience of being alive. I kind of like this.
What I liked even better are the concepts introduced on the last pages, beginning with the Chapter “Saying Nothing About Love”. A taste of the destructive powers of drugs, a taste of the human bodies insatiable need for approval, appreciation, attention and then a treatment on the nourishment of life. You might be surprised by what you see here.
Well, I must really love this book. I’ve read it 3 times in my life. There was a time in my life where I wanted to wake each day with a favorite quote – I chose 52 different quotes (one for each randomly drawn card from a deck) from 5-6 books, with about 10 of the quotes from this one. The reading this most recent time in an effort to better understand the culture of India, where I am now working with several of their citizens. Anthony de Mello brought Buddhist parables, Hindu philosophies into Christian spirituality. So there is a fine mix of a Catholic template with an overlay of Eastern mysticism. At times in this life, I reach out from the Puritan work ethic and strict quid pro quo level of spirituality to someone who is saying, “not this, not this”. Try this DeMello quote from the middle of the book: “When you said, ‘I was a success,’ you were in error; you were plunged into darkness. You identified yourself with things. You’re going to cling to them, you’re going to be worried that they may fall apart, and that’s where your suffering comes in. That is what I meant earlier when I said to you, ‘If you’re suffering, you’re asleep’… suffering is a sign that you’re out of touch with the truth.”
I am told that the Catholic Chuch, under the writings of future Pope Benedict, issued a notification questioning if de Mello went too far in his belief system. Along the line of “the only knowing is unknowing: the less identification with the world, the better. For most of society, I would believe this to be true. But isolation can go too far. Speaking of all of reality as illusion doesn’t leave a person much to grab a hold of. Here is the full Bishop Ratzinger notification. Nowhere does it say that he’s some sinister, dangerous writer though. I think he’s a refreshing change from a life of immersion.
http://web.archive.org/web/2006111505...
What I get into from de Mello is his easy grasp on what might be the most common U.S. habits. This one’s kind of fun, because it poker at India adapting to American habits. “In India, many of our poor people are starting to get transistor radios, which are quite a luxury. (May as well be a smart phone). ‘Everybody has a transistor,’ you hear, ‘but I don’t have a transistor; I’m so unhappy.’ Until everyone started getting transistors, they were perfectly happy without one. Until somebody told you you wouldn’t be happy unless you were loved, you were perfectly happy.”
The frolicking short 2-3 page chapters made the book especially amusing. Like a good homily, you get a soundbite to catch your attention, a couple of Buddhist parables to twist your assumptions a little and then a drumbeat of his different themes which stretch through the book. This style is made effective through some level of repetition that I’m sure some readers find frustrating: “Quit telling me to release myself from the dependencies of the world in 57 different ways. I get it already!” But most everyone does not. If you ask a person if they could give up their established way of life right now and accept that the suit of armor known as your body is temporary, could most do it? De Mello wants to wear you down to the point where you could give it all up for a better reality.
But the book seems to have an ephemeral quality to it. Most of what I’ve seen of self-help books have anecdotes of current people in current situations for the therapist/psychiatrist to draw off of. De Mello chooses the timeless metaphors, leaving the book to read like a New Testament set of readings and accompanying homily. Where is the mention of current Presidents or Prime Minister or Social Issues? It’s refreshing that he steers clear of politics or personal struggles and moves to the struggles that we must all go through. I can imagine for some readers though, this book will seem like an exploration of Mars for solutions to problems on Earth. It’s out there a bit, with the spray of allegories.
So, one of the frustrating parts of working through the Eastern mysticism is the continued theme of “if you meet the Buddha on the road, shoot him!” as if to say if you are trying to find the truth, you had better believe that what you find won’t be the truth. But unlike my typical experience of Eastern philosophy, this one seems to point to a way forward rather than just where NOT to find the truth. He points to a model of viewing what is happening to oneself as the “me”, where there is an additional, eternal “I” who is looking on as the omniscient observer. The “me” can be in pain, can be confused, can be divided, can be feeling elation, but each is transient and the forever “I” knows that all of it is the experience of being alive. I kind of like this.
What I liked even better are the concepts introduced on the last pages, beginning with the Chapter “Saying Nothing About Love”. A taste of the destructive powers of drugs, a taste of the human bodies insatiable need for approval, appreciation, attention and then a treatment on the nourishment of life. You might be surprised by what you see here.
September 10, 2010
I hated almost every minute of this book but had to read it for a class. de Mello combines Christian, Hindu, Buddhist and New Age worldviews mixed with a dose of radical individualism to create a spirituality devoid of any significant beliefs except for the fact that we don't need other people if we are aware of ourselves.
Throughout the book there were sentences and sometimes paragraphs that I thought were insightful. But I continually found myself wishing that I was finished with this book. FINALLY, I am. Don't waste your time.
Throughout the book there were sentences and sometimes paragraphs that I thought were insightful. But I continually found myself wishing that I was finished with this book. FINALLY, I am. Don't waste your time.
December 1, 2008
Book that tought me that I am not my emotions, and to wake up, which I haven't really done, because I have too many snooze buttons.
June 28, 2007
Considering the length of Awareness (184 pages), it’s taken me a long time to read what I have of it. As a matter of fact, I haven’t quite finished it, but it’s due at the library and I’m taking it back.
It’s taken a long time to read, partly because the book is a collection of meditations and, of course, the whole point is to take time to reflect on them. In addition, though, I have to say that, like a dictionary, it offers very little in the way of plot. There’s just one message in each of its little commentaries and vignettes: letting go. It’s a pretty important lesson—probably one we need to master at some time or another, for the sake of sanity—so I suppose it bears repeating. Up to a point.
The trouble is that Anthony de Mello, S.J., was clearly a personality—one of those rare individuals who exudes energy and charisma and what we used to call in the 60’s “good vibes.” He was a popular leader of retreats and conferences, where he communicated his ideas to people through the spoken word, not the written word. He died fairly young and very suddenly, before he had a chance to compile and edit his own writings. Consequently, it seems that those who loved and worked with him have gathered every scrap of wisdom, every utterance he left behind, and captured them for posterity. The result, in this book, is a patchwork quilt of loosely stitched anecdotes, parables, and exhortations.
I was eager to read something by de Mello because I’ve heard him described as a philosopher. One of my all-time favorite authors, Teillard de Chardin, was a Jesuit philosopher, so I rather hoped to find penetrating analysis and eloquent language such as I remember from his writings. But if Teillard’s prose had the rich intricacy of, say, Handel’s water music, then the writing of de Mello is the lone, sweet melody of a Pied Piper.
If you happen to be interested in de Mello, his brother’s Web site (http://users.tpg.com.au/adsligol/tony/) offers many insights into the nature of the man and his life.
It’s taken a long time to read, partly because the book is a collection of meditations and, of course, the whole point is to take time to reflect on them. In addition, though, I have to say that, like a dictionary, it offers very little in the way of plot. There’s just one message in each of its little commentaries and vignettes: letting go. It’s a pretty important lesson—probably one we need to master at some time or another, for the sake of sanity—so I suppose it bears repeating. Up to a point.
The trouble is that Anthony de Mello, S.J., was clearly a personality—one of those rare individuals who exudes energy and charisma and what we used to call in the 60’s “good vibes.” He was a popular leader of retreats and conferences, where he communicated his ideas to people through the spoken word, not the written word. He died fairly young and very suddenly, before he had a chance to compile and edit his own writings. Consequently, it seems that those who loved and worked with him have gathered every scrap of wisdom, every utterance he left behind, and captured them for posterity. The result, in this book, is a patchwork quilt of loosely stitched anecdotes, parables, and exhortations.
I was eager to read something by de Mello because I’ve heard him described as a philosopher. One of my all-time favorite authors, Teillard de Chardin, was a Jesuit philosopher, so I rather hoped to find penetrating analysis and eloquent language such as I remember from his writings. But if Teillard’s prose had the rich intricacy of, say, Handel’s water music, then the writing of de Mello is the lone, sweet melody of a Pied Piper.
If you happen to be interested in de Mello, his brother’s Web site (http://users.tpg.com.au/adsligol/tony/) offers many insights into the nature of the man and his life.
February 9, 2022
3.5
Definitivno mi je potrebno buđenje (pomoć, promjena, usmjeravanje, olakšavanje) pa sam uhvatila ovu knjižicu u kojoj sam se nadala nešto pronaći i pomoći si. Uzevši u obzir koliko sam si citata/misli/ideja označila u knjizi koja ne sadrži niti 200 stranica, rekla bih da u njoj ima puno toga značajnoga i vrijednog za obratiti pažnju.
Više o utiscima pročitajte klikom na link: https://knjige-u-svom-filmu.webador.c...
Definitivno mi je potrebno buđenje (pomoć, promjena, usmjeravanje, olakšavanje) pa sam uhvatila ovu knjižicu u kojoj sam se nadala nešto pronaći i pomoći si. Uzevši u obzir koliko sam si citata/misli/ideja označila u knjizi koja ne sadrži niti 200 stranica, rekla bih da u njoj ima puno toga značajnoga i vrijednog za obratiti pažnju.
Više o utiscima pročitajte klikom na link: https://knjige-u-svom-filmu.webador.c...
January 13, 2019
This book reads like a transcription of talks given before live audiences. The initial chapters read like the joke-filled exhortations of a professional self-help writer, but the book begins to deepen around pages 60-70. De Mello was a Jesuit priest, a trained psychologist, and apparently a devoted student of both Eastern and Western religion. His knowledge is broad and deep, and he has obviously brought great passion to his learning.
At its core, this book is about the difference between reality and our constructs of reality, most of which we have inherited from our culture, our parents, our teachers, the clergy, and the media. The constructs are all second-hand and almost always false. Our suffering comes from the strife we feel when reality does not conform to our false understanding of how the world should be.
De Mello points out repeatedly that most people are not aware of the constructs they live by. These constructs include the ideas that we must succeed financially, that we must find another person to give us love, that illness and death are personal affronts, that we must adhere to this or that ideal, that our lives must go a certain way. Our false understandings control us through fear and desire, and they do so invisibly until we take the time to see them and root them out.
Even the love we think we feel toward others is often simply an expression of our need for approval and validation. We don't see this until we look deep inside and discover that we expect to get something in return from the person to whom we think we are giving selflessly.
Our most deeply cherished beliefs are the most dangerous. De Mello offers this excellent observation and parable:
We see this kind of trouble in the world all the time. This is the difficulty of trying to use concepts that people understand to point them toward concepts that they don't understand. People get attached to the bits they understand, and their understanding ends there, often permanently.
We can only change our false concepts, De Mello says, when we become aware of them. In fact, our false understandings often lose their power as soon as we become aware of them. In this, he is in line with Socrates and the Buddhists, with the stoicism of Seneca and twentieth-century European existentialists. Life is flow. Abandon your ideas and go with it.
Of course, that's easier said than done. There's nothing more terrifying than being asked to accept what you cannot control or understand. Yet with the acceptance comes freedom.
De Mello notes that the few people who really do start to question their understanding of the world do so only after immense suffering. Only after it becomes too painful for them to hold on to their ideas of how the world should be. He notes that there are only two paths for those whose world-view is completely shattered: they become insane, or they become mystics.
De Mello is deeply critical not of religion, but of the way religion is practiced and misunderstood. If people devoted to awareness the time and energy they currently devote to worship, they and the world would be much better off. Toward the end of the book, he gives this excellent parable:
This powerfully describes the problem of many of the world's religions, where people are taught to direct their worship outward through ritual, rather than inward toward awareness, growth, and change. They have duty without fire, maintaining the symbols without ever discovering the thing the symbols were meant to lead them to.
"These are the more dangerous idol worshippers," De Mello says. "They use a very subtle substance, the mind, to produce their God."
True spiritual practice is not a palliative to soothe us in times of trouble. It is the root of how we perceive and experience the world, and it comes from surrender, from accepting that we can simple be without having to know or control or even understand. "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow," De Mello reminds us. "They toil not, neither do they spin."
At its core, this book is about the difference between reality and our constructs of reality, most of which we have inherited from our culture, our parents, our teachers, the clergy, and the media. The constructs are all second-hand and almost always false. Our suffering comes from the strife we feel when reality does not conform to our false understanding of how the world should be.
De Mello points out repeatedly that most people are not aware of the constructs they live by. These constructs include the ideas that we must succeed financially, that we must find another person to give us love, that illness and death are personal affronts, that we must adhere to this or that ideal, that our lives must go a certain way. Our false understandings control us through fear and desire, and they do so invisibly until we take the time to see them and root them out.
Even the love we think we feel toward others is often simply an expression of our need for approval and validation. We don't see this until we look deep inside and discover that we expect to get something in return from the person to whom we think we are giving selflessly.
Our most deeply cherished beliefs are the most dangerous. De Mello offers this excellent observation and parable:
Reality, God, divinity, truth, love are unknowable; that means they cannot be comprehended by the thinking mind. That would set at rest so many questions people have because we're always living under the illusion that we know. We don't. We cannot know.
What is scripture, then? It is a hint, a clue, not a description. The fanaticism of one sincere believer who thinks he knows causes more evil than the united efforts of two hundred rogues. It's terrifying to see what sincere believers will do because they think they know. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a world where everybody said, "We don't know"?...
A man born blind comes to me and asks, "What is this thing called green?"
How does one describe the color green to one who was born blind? One uses analogies.
So I say, "The color green is something like soft music."
"Oh," he says, "like soft music."
So a second blind man comes to me and asks, "What is the color green?"
I tell him it's something like soft satin, very soft and soothing to the touch.
So the next day I notice that the two blind men are bashing each other over the head with bottles. One is saying, "It's soft like music"; the other saying, "It's soft like satin." And on it goes.
We see this kind of trouble in the world all the time. This is the difficulty of trying to use concepts that people understand to point them toward concepts that they don't understand. People get attached to the bits they understand, and their understanding ends there, often permanently.
We can only change our false concepts, De Mello says, when we become aware of them. In fact, our false understandings often lose their power as soon as we become aware of them. In this, he is in line with Socrates and the Buddhists, with the stoicism of Seneca and twentieth-century European existentialists. Life is flow. Abandon your ideas and go with it.
Of course, that's easier said than done. There's nothing more terrifying than being asked to accept what you cannot control or understand. Yet with the acceptance comes freedom.
De Mello notes that the few people who really do start to question their understanding of the world do so only after immense suffering. Only after it becomes too painful for them to hold on to their ideas of how the world should be. He notes that there are only two paths for those whose world-view is completely shattered: they become insane, or they become mystics.
De Mello is deeply critical not of religion, but of the way religion is practiced and misunderstood. If people devoted to awareness the time and energy they currently devote to worship, they and the world would be much better off. Toward the end of the book, he gives this excellent parable:
There was a man who invented the art of making fire. He took his tools and went to a tribe in the north, where it was very cold, bitterly cold. He taught the people there to make fire. The people were very interested. He showed them the uses to which they could put fire--they could cook, keep themselves warm, etc. They were grateful that they had learned the art of making fire. But before they could express their gratitude to the man, he disappeared. He wasn't concerned with getting their recognition or gratitude; he was concerned about their well-being.
He went to another tribe, where he again began to show them the value of his invention. People were interested there, too, a bit too interested for the peace of mind of the priests, who began to notice that this man was drawing crowds and they were losing their popularity. So they decided to do away with him. They poisoned him, crucified him, put it any way you like.
But they were afraid now that people might turn against them, so they were very wise, even wily. Do you know what they did? They had a portrait of the man made and mounted it on the main altar of the temple. The instruments for making fire were placed in front of the portrait, and the people were taught to revere the portrait and to pay reverence to the instruments of fire, which they dutifully did for centuries. The veneration and the worship went on, but there was no fire.
This powerfully describes the problem of many of the world's religions, where people are taught to direct their worship outward through ritual, rather than inward toward awareness, growth, and change. They have duty without fire, maintaining the symbols without ever discovering the thing the symbols were meant to lead them to.
"These are the more dangerous idol worshippers," De Mello says. "They use a very subtle substance, the mind, to produce their God."
True spiritual practice is not a palliative to soothe us in times of trouble. It is the root of how we perceive and experience the world, and it comes from surrender, from accepting that we can simple be without having to know or control or even understand. "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow," De Mello reminds us. "They toil not, neither do they spin."
February 7, 2014
I have read this one 5 times now. How obvious it is that we don't want to wake up. We don't want to admit, or give up our attachments! I have tried to focus on his teachings for years now, and denounce my attachments but I always end up back in square one. I fall into the same patterns and expectations. How did he do this? Better, how do I do this? My biggest concern with this book is that he wants us to "give up" attachments like our family for example. He claims that once you no longer "need" them, they lose the power over you and you will truly love them. How are you to form close relationships with family and loved ones if you don't participate in the human connection? What is love then really if you don't experience the feeling of withering inside when let's say you end a long relationship. How do you rewire your brain to simply not get attached to any person or thing? I understand this theory in regards to detaching oneself from material objects better than I do the detachment from people.
October 16, 2016
If I could give this book a 10 stars, I would.
The reason why it took a while for me to finish this book is that it has so many passages that I would prefer to give them time to sink in before moving forward. Some of them made me silent within, that I had to pause. There are many fundamental truths expressed in the simplest and most blunt manner for anyone to get a glimpse of what it is to be trully aware.
The reason why it took a while for me to finish this book is that it has so many passages that I would prefer to give them time to sink in before moving forward. Some of them made me silent within, that I had to pause. There are many fundamental truths expressed in the simplest and most blunt manner for anyone to get a glimpse of what it is to be trully aware.
July 26, 2015
Hyviä pointteja nostattava kirja, mutta lankeaa välillä vähän yksipuoliseen arvomaailmaan. Ihastuttava ja vihastuttava, herättää varmasti ajattelemaan. Puheista koottu kirja on välillä vähän sekavaa luettavaa.
January 29, 2020
I love, love, love this book and I'll read it again very soon. Anthony was in love with life and humanity and, provided you have an open mind, you will be also when you finish reading this book. Highly recommended.
November 10, 2025
يقول لك الكاتب: المشكلة ليست في العالم، المشكلة فيك. عندما تغير طريقة تفكيرك سيتغير العالم من حولك.
تسأله: طيب، هل سنتهي الظلم والشر إذا غيرت طريقة تفكيري؟
يجيب: لا، ولكن هذه هي الطريقة التي يسير بها العالم، ولا يمكن تغييرها، وما عليك سوى تغيير طريقة شعورك تجاهها.
ترد عليه: لكن المشكلة ليست فقط بما أشعر، المشكلة في وجود الشر نفسه. إذا تأقلمت مع وجوده وتعلمت أن أشعر شعوراً إيجابياً تجاه كل شيء، ألن أصبح مسخاً؟
ولا أعرف ما الذي سيرد به، لأنه لم يصل في كتابه إلى هذه النقطة، ولا أعتقد أنه فكر بها.
لا أقصد بكلامي اليأس أو التوقف عن العيش لأن العالم شرير، لكن ثقافة التركيز على النفس التي يروّج لها الكاتب لا إنسانية وأنانية، بل شكل آخر من أشكال الوقوع في الوهم والانفصال عن الواقع، التي يفترض أن هدف الكتاب معالجتها أصلاً.
أزعجتني كذلك طريقته في مهاجمة المتدينين واعتبارهم مغيبين، ودعوته إلى رفض أي مقدس. حيث أن معظم آرائه تقوم على فكرة أن الحاضر هو كل ما لديك، دون أي اعتبار لما وراءه، وكأن موازين الدنيا هي المعيار الوحيد للحكم.
الفكرة الأساسية التي يتمركز حولها الكتاب هي أن التحرر من الآراء والأحكام هو سر السعادة. لكن الكاتب كثيراً ما خلط بين عدم الاتكالية وبين الأنانية.
رغم ذلك، في الكتاب الكثير من الأفكار التي تستدعي نقاشاً طويلاً، وحسنته أنه يدفعك لتأملها، لكن لا داعي للأخذ باستنتاجاته كما هي.
وأخيراً، لو استبدل كلمة السعادة التي يدعي أنه يدلنا على طريقها، بالسكينة، لكان أكثر صدقاً وواقعية. فلا وجود لما يسمى سعادة دائمة، لكن هناك سكينة، وهي المطلوب الحقيقي.
تسأله: طيب، هل سنتهي الظلم والشر إذا غيرت طريقة تفكيري؟
يجيب: لا، ولكن هذه هي الطريقة التي يسير بها العالم، ولا يمكن تغييرها، وما عليك سوى تغيير طريقة شعورك تجاهها.
ترد عليه: لكن المشكلة ليست فقط بما أشعر، المشكلة في وجود الشر نفسه. إذا تأقلمت مع وجوده وتعلمت أن أشعر شعوراً إيجابياً تجاه كل شيء، ألن أصبح مسخاً؟
ولا أعرف ما الذي سيرد به، لأنه لم يصل في كتابه إلى هذه النقطة، ولا أعتقد أنه فكر بها.
لا أقصد بكلامي اليأس أو التوقف عن العيش لأن العالم شرير، لكن ثقافة التركيز على النفس التي يروّج لها الكاتب لا إنسانية وأنانية، بل شكل آخر من أشكال الوقوع في الوهم والانفصال عن الواقع، التي يفترض أن هدف الكتاب معالجتها أصلاً.
أزعجتني كذلك طريقته في مهاجمة المتدينين واعتبارهم مغيبين، ودعوته إلى رفض أي مقدس. حيث أن معظم آرائه تقوم على فكرة أن الحاضر هو كل ما لديك، دون أي اعتبار لما وراءه، وكأن موازين الدنيا هي المعيار الوحيد للحكم.
الفكرة الأساسية التي يتمركز حولها الكتاب هي أن التحرر من الآراء والأحكام هو سر السعادة. لكن الكاتب كثيراً ما خلط بين عدم الاتكالية وبين الأنانية.
رغم ذلك، في الكتاب الكثير من الأفكار التي تستدعي نقاشاً طويلاً، وحسنته أنه يدفعك لتأملها، لكن لا داعي للأخذ باستنتاجاته كما هي.
وأخيراً، لو استبدل كلمة السعادة التي يدعي أنه يدلنا على طريقها، بالسكينة، لكان أكثر صدقاً وواقعية. فلا وجود لما يسمى سعادة دائمة، لكن هناك سكينة، وهي المطلوب الحقيقي.
July 11, 2019
Anthony de Mello was an indian Jesuit priest and a psychotherapist. The book definitely felt like reading a speech. De Mello argues that life is easy only if you let go of your attachments, cravings and illusions. You’ve got to drop the labels and you’ve got to understand that the negative feelings you experience are in you and not in the external world around you. Until you drop everything, you can’t experience happiness because true happiness is uncaused unlike excitement. In order to change, you need to be aware, you need to wake up.
Awareness is not easy and the more you try to work hard to reach it, it becomes even harder. One story mentioned by De Mello is about this alcoholic who knew all the damage alcohol is doing to him and to his family. he knew all the facts about the situation but he could never quit until one day he wakes up lying in a gutter under a slight drizzle and he realizes the dangerous situation and becomes “aware” and from that day he never goes back to drinking”. Awareness just happens, you just become “aware”. It is not knowledge. Knowing the situation really well doesn’t mean that you’re aware of it.
His words make great sense but it’s hard. How do you let go of your attachments. he says just say it to yourself everyday but it’s hard, especially when I think of my attachment to my mother. Awareness is hard. I was craving more depth but I knew that it contradicted the book’s message which is that life is so simple, just drop your illusions and become “aware”.
Some of his words:
(*) If you ever let yourself feel good when people tell you that you’re O.K., you are preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you you’re not good
(*) One sign that you’re awakened is that you don’t give a damn about what’s going to happen in the next life
(*) Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality
(*) What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you
(*) if you identify yourself with these things. You’re going to cling to them, you’re going to be worried that they may fall apart
(*) If you’re suffering, you’re asleep
(*) True happiness is uncaused, happiness is not the same as excitement
(*) You’ve got to drop illusions. You don’t have to add anything in order to be happy; you’ve got to drop something. Life is easy, life is delightful. It’s only hard on your illusions, your ambitions, your greed, your cravings. Do you know where these things come from? From having identified with all kinds of labels!
(*) you don’t need to belong to anybody or anything or any group
(*) No one has the power to hurt you anymore. No one has the power to put pressure on you
(*) Put this program into action, a thousand times: (a) identify the negative feelings in you; (b) understand that they are in you, not in the world, not in external reality; (c) do not see them as an essential part of “I”; these things come and go; (you don’t need to belong to anybody or anything or any group) (d) understand that when you change, everything changes
(*) You’re never so full of yourself as when you’re in pain. You’re never so centered on yourself as when you’re depressed. You’re never so ready to forget yourself as when you are happy. Happiness releases you from self. It is suffering and pain and misery and depression that tie you to the self
(*) we are getting feedback from reality. But we are filtering things out constantly. One demon doing the filtering is called attachment, desire, craving. The root of sorrow is craving.
(*) When we were young, we were programmed to unhappiness. They taught us that in order to be happy you need money, success, a beautiful or handsome partner in life, a good job, friendship, spirituality, God—you name it. Unless you get these things, you’re not going to be happy, we were told. Now, that is what I call an attachment.
(*) this little exercise for a few minutes: Think of something or someone you are attached to; in other words, something or someone without which or without whom you think you are not going to be happy. It could be your job, your career, your profession, your friend, your money, whatever. And say to this object or person, “I really do not need you to be happy. I’m only deluding myself in the belief that without you I will not be happy. But I really don’t need you for my happiness; I can be happy without you. You are not my happiness, you are not my joy.”
(*) In the beginning giving up the drug can be tough, unless you have a very keen understanding or unless you have suffered enough. It’s a great thing to have suffered. Only then can you get sick of it. You can make use of suffering to end suffering.
(*) People who are busy planning their vacation; they spend months planning it, and they get to the spot, and they’re all anxious about their reservations for flying back. But they’re taking pictures alright, and later they’ll show you pictures in an album, of places they never saw but only photographed.
(*) “You know, I had all the information I needed; I knew that alcohol was killing me, and, believe me, nothing changes an alcoholic—not even the love of his wife or his kids. He does love them but it doesn’t change him. I discovered one thing that changed me. I was lying in a gutter one day under a slight drizzle. I opened my eyes and I saw that this was killing me. I saw it and I never had the desire to touch a drop after that. As a matter of fact, I’ve even drunk a bit since then, but never enough to damage me.
(*) When you get a feel for it you change. When you know it in your head, you don’t.
Awareness is not easy and the more you try to work hard to reach it, it becomes even harder. One story mentioned by De Mello is about this alcoholic who knew all the damage alcohol is doing to him and to his family. he knew all the facts about the situation but he could never quit until one day he wakes up lying in a gutter under a slight drizzle and he realizes the dangerous situation and becomes “aware” and from that day he never goes back to drinking”. Awareness just happens, you just become “aware”. It is not knowledge. Knowing the situation really well doesn’t mean that you’re aware of it.
His words make great sense but it’s hard. How do you let go of your attachments. he says just say it to yourself everyday but it’s hard, especially when I think of my attachment to my mother. Awareness is hard. I was craving more depth but I knew that it contradicted the book’s message which is that life is so simple, just drop your illusions and become “aware”.
Some of his words:
(*) If you ever let yourself feel good when people tell you that you’re O.K., you are preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you you’re not good
(*) One sign that you’re awakened is that you don’t give a damn about what’s going to happen in the next life
(*) Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality
(*) What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you
(*) if you identify yourself with these things. You’re going to cling to them, you’re going to be worried that they may fall apart
(*) If you’re suffering, you’re asleep
(*) True happiness is uncaused, happiness is not the same as excitement
(*) You’ve got to drop illusions. You don’t have to add anything in order to be happy; you’ve got to drop something. Life is easy, life is delightful. It’s only hard on your illusions, your ambitions, your greed, your cravings. Do you know where these things come from? From having identified with all kinds of labels!
(*) you don’t need to belong to anybody or anything or any group
(*) No one has the power to hurt you anymore. No one has the power to put pressure on you
(*) Put this program into action, a thousand times: (a) identify the negative feelings in you; (b) understand that they are in you, not in the world, not in external reality; (c) do not see them as an essential part of “I”; these things come and go; (you don’t need to belong to anybody or anything or any group) (d) understand that when you change, everything changes
(*) You’re never so full of yourself as when you’re in pain. You’re never so centered on yourself as when you’re depressed. You’re never so ready to forget yourself as when you are happy. Happiness releases you from self. It is suffering and pain and misery and depression that tie you to the self
(*) we are getting feedback from reality. But we are filtering things out constantly. One demon doing the filtering is called attachment, desire, craving. The root of sorrow is craving.
(*) When we were young, we were programmed to unhappiness. They taught us that in order to be happy you need money, success, a beautiful or handsome partner in life, a good job, friendship, spirituality, God—you name it. Unless you get these things, you’re not going to be happy, we were told. Now, that is what I call an attachment.
(*) this little exercise for a few minutes: Think of something or someone you are attached to; in other words, something or someone without which or without whom you think you are not going to be happy. It could be your job, your career, your profession, your friend, your money, whatever. And say to this object or person, “I really do not need you to be happy. I’m only deluding myself in the belief that without you I will not be happy. But I really don’t need you for my happiness; I can be happy without you. You are not my happiness, you are not my joy.”
(*) In the beginning giving up the drug can be tough, unless you have a very keen understanding or unless you have suffered enough. It’s a great thing to have suffered. Only then can you get sick of it. You can make use of suffering to end suffering.
(*) People who are busy planning their vacation; they spend months planning it, and they get to the spot, and they’re all anxious about their reservations for flying back. But they’re taking pictures alright, and later they’ll show you pictures in an album, of places they never saw but only photographed.
(*) “You know, I had all the information I needed; I knew that alcohol was killing me, and, believe me, nothing changes an alcoholic—not even the love of his wife or his kids. He does love them but it doesn’t change him. I discovered one thing that changed me. I was lying in a gutter one day under a slight drizzle. I opened my eyes and I saw that this was killing me. I saw it and I never had the desire to touch a drop after that. As a matter of fact, I’ve even drunk a bit since then, but never enough to damage me.
(*) When you get a feel for it you change. When you know it in your head, you don’t.
May 22, 2011
"on dependence:
---to depend on another emotionally-- what does it imply? it means to depend on another human being for my happiness. Think about that. Because if you do, the next thing you will be doing is demanding other people contribute to your happiness... Perfect love casts out of fear where theres is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you, If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.
I enjoy it on a nonclinging basis. What I really enjoy is not you; it's something that I discovered, a kind of symphony, a kind of orchestra that plays one melody in your presence, but when you depart, the orchestra doesn't stop. when I meet someone else, it plays another melody, which is also very delightful. And when I am alone, it continues to play. There;s a great repertoire and it never ceases to play."
---to depend on another emotionally-- what does it imply? it means to depend on another human being for my happiness. Think about that. Because if you do, the next thing you will be doing is demanding other people contribute to your happiness... Perfect love casts out of fear where theres is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you, If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.
I enjoy it on a nonclinging basis. What I really enjoy is not you; it's something that I discovered, a kind of symphony, a kind of orchestra that plays one melody in your presence, but when you depart, the orchestra doesn't stop. when I meet someone else, it plays another melody, which is also very delightful. And when I am alone, it continues to play. There;s a great repertoire and it never ceases to play."
December 28, 2018
"Anytime you have a negative feeling toward anyone your leaving in an illusion. There's something seriously wrong with you.You're not seeing reality. Something inside of you has to change.But what do we generally do when we have a negative feeling? he is to blame, she is to blame.She's got to change. NO! The world's all right.The one who has to change is you."
I had a negative feeling toward this book from the first 10 pages I read even though i was very hyped and eager to read it. This paragraph is where i stopped. I already knew that when you have a negative issue the road to take is in flipping the questions towards myself. But is there something "seriously wrong" with me? I feel fine.
Personally i think the book is written in an aggressive way to make you feel cloudy, unclear, "there's something seriously wrong with you", "wake up" and the targets are highly emotional vulnerable people with the intent for you to buy more books, more seminars, more "wisdom".
I had a negative feeling toward this book from the first 10 pages I read even though i was very hyped and eager to read it. This paragraph is where i stopped. I already knew that when you have a negative issue the road to take is in flipping the questions towards myself. But is there something "seriously wrong" with me? I feel fine.
Personally i think the book is written in an aggressive way to make you feel cloudy, unclear, "there's something seriously wrong with you", "wake up" and the targets are highly emotional vulnerable people with the intent for you to buy more books, more seminars, more "wisdom".
July 25, 2020
One of the best books books of happiness and enlightenment I have read. Eastern philosophy, critical towards modern consumerism etc.
The tone is magnificent: at times it feels almost angry, like it’s mocking me. I love it. And it’s very straight-forward, absolutely no bullshit. Some people will get hurt by this book.
The kind of selfishness that this book courages is very welcome to me. It is not selfishness, quite the opposite. We should all be on our path to clarity, we should all stare within, need less and make less castles in the sky. We should let go of our expectations of other people, of the world, of ourselves.
Tones of Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts. Of course.
I will continue reading this book for the rest of my life, with an underliner.
The tone is magnificent: at times it feels almost angry, like it’s mocking me. I love it. And it’s very straight-forward, absolutely no bullshit. Some people will get hurt by this book.
The kind of selfishness that this book courages is very welcome to me. It is not selfishness, quite the opposite. We should all be on our path to clarity, we should all stare within, need less and make less castles in the sky. We should let go of our expectations of other people, of the world, of ourselves.
Tones of Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts. Of course.
I will continue reading this book for the rest of my life, with an underliner.
December 26, 2008
This book is fun - not becuase it's light. It's because it feels like someone left a tape recorder on during a retreat and wrote down exactly what he said, so it feels like you are in the room with him, and his tone and charm come right off the page. But it's not simplistic - it's challenging. Best quote: "To see at last with a vision unclouded by fear or desire."
August 6, 2022
To make it short: I think that everyone should read this book at least once. I've learned a couple of things along the way about myself, about others and what reality really is vs. what we perceive as reality. I think that each person will find at least one grain of truth or a quote that speaks to themselves while reading this. So why not give it a try...
March 26, 2021
When a theology teacher introduced me to Anthony De Mello, I initially found him too demanding and off-putting. I was an oversensitive teenager who didn't really understand what he meant by "waking up" or "becoming aware." It's been over a decade since then and now I find De Mello's meditations invaluable. He brings you a lot to chew on and does not encourage you to accept everything he says without thinking over it first. I especially connected to the section where the bemoans how much western culture demands we focus on constantly achieving and setting goals, leaving us little time to reflect or even enjoy the simple things in life.
March 15, 2020
This book came highly recommended by Tim Ferris and a podcast guest, if I remember correctly, but a few chapters in it was just not resonating with me at all, and I've abandoned it. To me it felt outdated, out-of-touch, and cynical. Perhaps I've just read too much other, similar, but better stuff. Perhaps I'm the cynical one. Either way, it didn't grab me, it didn't interest me, and it's not going to waste any more of my time.
July 26, 2019
While being generally entertaining, this book somewhat overstayed its welcome as the key points could have be fitted into a short essay. The "babbling" nature of writing started to get tedious towards the end. This would probably have been more interesting read around 10 years ago when the book's themes were a bit less saturated in the western discourse.
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