Power with Purpose: God's Design for Power Dynamics in Marriage

by David R Dunham, Krista Dunham

God gave you power. Do you know how to use it?

Too many men and women aren’t sure what to do with the power they bring to a marriage. But this power is a gift from God! Biblical counselors Dave and Krista show you how to use your strengths to serve your spouse, how to craft a shared family vision that brings clarity to disagreements, and how to navigate tough conversations and situations—all so you can build a stronger marriage.

Endorsements“While reaffirming the beauty of traditional marital roles, David and Krista Dunham provide an incredible service to the church by showing that marriage is about much more than roles.”

—Scott Mehl, Author, Redeeming Sex in Marriage

“Power with Purpose is a theologically grounded and pastorally wise resource that exposes the misplaced trust and self-reliance that are often underneath our craving for control.”

—Paul Tautges, Pastor, Cornerstone Community Church, Cleveland, Ohio

“The Dunhams masterfully frame power as neither a vice to be abandoned nor a privilege to lord over our spouses. Instead, they call us to a Christlike model.”

—Chris Moles, Pastor, The Chapel, Eleanor, West Virginia

“This book is a needed recalibration for couples, churches, and anyone longing to see grace shape the deepest relationships in their lives.”

—Darby Strickland, Faculty, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

168 pages, Paperback

Published December 10, 2025

Reviews

[Wolfgang Michalke · Rating 5 out of 5]

balanced and insightful

I love how this book doesn’t just look to Biblical references directly mentioning marriage but looks to the broader teachings about human relationships and our relationships to God. Highly recommend.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Power with Purpose, David R. Dunham and Krista Dunham thoughtfully explore God’s design for power dynamics in marriage, offering a biblically grounded and pastorally sensitive perspective. The book challenges common assumptions about authority in marriage and calls couples to reimagine power as a means of love, service, and mutual flourishing.

This book considers relational power in marriage, which refers to the ability to influence, guide, or affect another person. For Christians, we believe that this power (authority) is given by God for the glory of God and the good of others.

More Than Headship and Submission

Marriage is more than headship and submission. The reality is that both husbands and wives have their own unique types of power that are meant to be used for the flourishing of the other. The book demonstrates how, through influence, there can be a mutual equality of impact rooted in the biblical principle of unity in marriage. This brings balance to power dynamics while still leaving room for sacrificial love toward one another.

I was reminded of my own sinful tendency to use power in relationships for personal gain. As a husband and father, the goal is to love sacrificially like Jesus. One example in the book that especially moved me was the examination of Priscilla and Aquila, who displayed mutual equality of impact in their ministry.

Authority and Influence

The book concludes by exploring how power can be applied in marriage through collaboration, companionship, and consideration. Two appendixes are particularly helpful, addressing the misuse of power in marriages and providing guidance for determining whether one is in an abusive marriage.

Power with Purpose is a timely and needed contribution to conversations about marriage, authority, and influence for Christians. It will serve your marriage as you learn Christlike love and humility.

I received a media copy of Power with Purpose and this is my honest review. @diveindigdeep

[Rodrigo Sanchez · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5, ok. – Helpful and balanced at times. Good nuggets here and there. Not sure about the premise of power distribution. I didn’t catch a thesis or argument for describing marriage this way. Confusing terms: often using power, authority, and influence synonymously, and at times using them as distinct. From the first chapter, it seems the authors used to have an unhealthy marriage and the husband was controlling. That experience colors much of the feel of the book. In Appendix B, the authors write that we live “within a culture that, in an attempt to protect women from male dominance, has become stuck on high alert against any man who seeks to lead his wife in any way.” In my humble opinion, the tone of this book and the frequent negative examples and images of male leadership in the home contributes to this culture of high alert. Overall, I appreciate the authors’ efforts to balance the practical outworking of complementarianism (especially in young, immature marriages). Jonathan Leeman’s Authority will continue to be my go to resource to help husbands and wives understand the right use of leadership and authority in the home and beyond.