Love’s Labour

by Stephen Grosz

‘A work of genius… It would not be humanly possible for me to recommend his work more highly’ India Knight
‘Left me feeling wiser and more open to life’ Oliver Burkeman

Luminous and necessary stories from the psychoanalyst's consulting room; on desire, heartbreak and learning how to love.

When it comes to love why do we find things so difficult? Drawing on over forty years of candid and surprising conversations with his patients, Stephen Grosz asks, what gets in the way of our falling in love? And what must we do to stay there?

In the intimate space of the consulting room, we meet the woman who can’t post her wedding invitations but then, decades later, can’t decide whether to get divorced; the friendship group that explodes when an adulterous affair begins; and the man whose partner’s death is almost too much to bear.

As an analyst, Grosz’s unerring ability is to locate what ails the heartsick. As a writer, he elegantly shows how we can deploy the agonies of love as tools for understanding.

The labour of love is the work of a lifetime but in finally learning to see ourselves and our world clearly, we find we are truly ready to love one another.

*** A 'BEST BOOK OF 2025' IN THE TIMES AND IRISH TIMES***

‘The poet laureate of human emotion’ Elizabeth Day
‘This man could save your marriage’ Sunday Times
'Stephen Grosz ... is one of the best at writing about psychoanalysis' The Times
'Powerful and compelling' Guardian
'This is a beautiful book' Nigella Lawson

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Love, Mental Health, Memoir

186 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 4, 2025

About the author

Stephen Grosz is a practicing psychoanalyst—he has worked with patients for more than twenty-five years. Born in America, educated at the University of California, Berkeley, and at Oxford University, he lives in London. A Sunday Times bestseller, The Examined Life is his first book.

Reviews

[Ellie Glennon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insanely captivating, couldn’t put it down!

[Mr T · Rating 5 out of 5]

so good I read it in a single sitting

[Josette Zhou · Rating 5 out of 5]

So fascinating, entertaining, thought provoking. It could be a fiction even ….

[archana · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re a fan of Stephen Grosz, after reading The Examined Life, then pick this one up! A set of life-changing revelations which make you deeply think about love, tenderness and togetherness.

Thank you PRH for an advanced reading copy.

[Eren Akademir · Rating 5 out of 5]

Remarkable collection of short stories from a long career in psychotherapy, each one as engrossing and captivating as the last. The psyche in relationships as the most difficult unpredictable mystery.

[victoria marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

a book friend (Kirstin) had given this five stars, so ordered it from blackwells before it’s published in the states next year, as felt so drawn to it…

& so grateful that I did. definitely recommend.

I haven’t read anything previously by this author, but might later seek it out too.

[read the hardcover edition]

[Robbie Stanley-Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somewhat underwhelmingly short, but excellent, clear storytelling. Perceptive, wise and often very moving. Enjoyed it almost as much as The Examined Life, and very similar to Frank Tallis’s The Incurable Romantic.

[W.S. Luk · Rating 4 out of 5]

"We deceive ourselves about love—the who, what and why."

Much of LOVE'S LABOUR reads like a strange variant of the mystery novel. Grosz outlines the case history of his client, and the personal or relationship anxieties they experience, and he and they sit down in his office to resolve this riddle. Whether it's a husband collecting nonsensical evidence that his wife is unfaithful or a man traumatised by his girlfriend's suicide, the process of psychoanalysis and the solutions it uncovers in turn speaks to Grosz' overall question of the work that is needed to make a relationship flourish.

However, unlike the tidy resolutions of Doyle and Christie, Grosz' cases frequently end with a note of uncertainty, with some patients quitting therapy, others attaining some respite, and a few (including Grosz himself) continuing to look for answers. Refreshingly, this book offers few sweeping claims or easy self-help answers, regularly highlighting the difficulties that even seasoned psychoanalysts have in seeing themselves honestly. Intimate and thought-provoking, LOVE'S LABOUR is a revelatory look at the difficulties posed by love.

[Gavin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stephen Grosz writes beautifully about the challenges and rewards of love, about the ways in which we sometimes struggle to face up to the truth of our lives, and about how we can move on if we understand things better. I liked this book a little more than his book The Examined Life, because the stories were longer and there were many thoughtful moments that stayed with me.

[Ioana Chicet-Macoveiciuc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read it in a few hours, I love the personal and professional insight of the author, very intriguing and unexpected at some points. The only reason I gave it 4 stars and not 5 is that I found the book too short! I wanted more!

[Felicity Wills · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply moving

I was looking forward to learning about myself by learning about Grosz’s encounters with his patients and with himself. This book was deeply satisfying and moving. I recommend it very highly. Although, do read The Examined Life first if you haven’t already.

[Elsa Termato · Rating 4 out of 5]

Compelling reading and hard to put down. Which probably means you’re more likely to miss the opportunity to more deeply try at some self psychoanalysis!

[Randhir Senapala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing addition to his first book “The Examined Life” Grosz takes us through real life stories of LOVE in many forms and how we deal with it. Highly Recommended.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.3 / 5
enjoyed

[Tareq · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The greatest obstacle to learning about ourselves isn't ignorance, but our 'self-knowledge' "
- p.47

[Jon Margetts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the interweaving of literature and professional reflection. Grosz is an exceptional psychoanalyst. Worth it for the last story alone.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful, beautiful book. Maybe my favourite book that I have read this year.

[Seb Swann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this if you like stories about the human condition and if you want to love better.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought the hardback of this which cost £18.99 and it was 176 pages long