Disorientation: Being Black in the World

by Ian Williams

Bestselling, Scotiabank Giller Award-winning writer Ian Williams brings fresh eyes and new insights to today's urgent conversation on race and racism in startling, illuminating essays that grow out of his own experience as a Black man moving through the world.


With that one eloquent word, disorientation, Ian Williams captures the impact of racial encounters on racialized people--the whiplash of race that occurs while minding one's own business. Sometimes the consequences are only irritating, but sometimes they are deadly. Spurred by the police killings and street protests of 2020, Williams realized he could offer a perspective distinct from the almost exclusively America-centric books on race topping the bestseller lists, because of one salient he has lived in Trinidad (where he was never the only Black person in the room), in Canada (where he often was), and in the United States (where as a Black man from the Caribbean, he was a different kind of only).

Inspired by the essays of James Baldwin, in which the personal becomes the gateway to larger ideas, Williams explores such things as the unmistakable moment when a child realizes they are Black; the ten characteristics of institutional whiteness; how friendship forms a bulwark against being a target of racism; the meaning and uses of a Black person's smile; and blame culture--or how do we make meaningful change when no one feels responsible for the systemic structures of the past. With these essays, Williams wants to reach a multi-racial audience of people who believe that civil conversation on even the most charged subjects is possible. Examining the past and the present in order to speak to the future, he offers new thinking, honest feeling, and his astonishing, piercing gift of language.

Genres: Nonfiction, Race, Essays, Canada, Memoir, Audiobook, Social Justice

216 pages, Paperback

First published September 21, 2021

About the author

Ian Williams is the author of Personals, shortlisted for the Griffin Poetry Prize and the Robert Kroetsch Poetry Book Award; Not Anyone’s Anything, winner of the Danuta Gleed Literary Award for the best first collection of short fiction in Canada; and You Know Who You Are, a finalist for the ReLit Prize for poetry. He was named as one of ten Canadian writers to watch by CBC.

Williams completed his Ph.D. in English at the University of Toronto and works as an English professor.

In 2014-2015, Williams was the Canadian Writer-in-Residence for the Calgary Distinguished Writers Program at the University of Calgary. He has also held residencies or fellowships at the Leighton Artists’ Colony at the Banff Centre, Vermont Studio Center, Cave Canem, Kimmel Harding Nelson Center for the Arts, and Palazzo Rinaldi in Italy. He was a scholar at the National Humanities Center Summer Institute for Literary Study. His writing has appeared in several North American journals and anthologies.

He is currently working on his first novel.

Reviews

[Darryl Suite · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW WOW WOW. Everyone will get something out this. This essay collection is written in a conversational style, it really does feel like Williams is sitting across from you; you’re old friends or maybe kindred spirits. He feels comfortable enough to be real with you, to show his vulnerable side, to be shockingly emotionally naked at times. Powerful and insightful read. I felt this in my entire being.

Williams is a master of nonfiction, fiction (read Reproduction!!!!), and poetry (his beginnings), geez, what’s next?

[Sonal Champsee · Rating 5 out of 5]

The writing is conversational, but interesting in form with resonant images or anecdotes; it uses literary tools to show things that only literary tools can show us, but still is accessible and insightful. I felt like every little niggle of my own disorientation was thoughtfully revealed in Williams' writing, and then some.

[Charlene Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I'll come back to this and add more . . . for now, in reading this, I've felt so seen. And comforted. And understood. Ian Williams says things I've thought and felt for years and not been able to express - out of fear of judgment or being misunderstood, out of a sense of shame, that I don't think I should be feeling. Out of a simple lack of the words.

The book description will give you a good overview of what you're getting with this book. And I don't feel this way about many books on 'race', but this is one that I feel has pretty equal value and content to offer for both Black and non-Black people.

Read. Think deeply. Emerge on the other side a slightly different, slightly better person.

[Lata · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ian Williams writes of his frustration and vulnerability in North America as a Black man. The text is insightful and compelling.

[Jocelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

My initial intention when I brought this book home from the library was to read just the title story. Ah, but these essays are all so compelling I continued on and read the whole collection. A powerful and important message, not always comfortable. The writing shines.

“Whiteness would have you believe that race and whiteness are separate and that race originates in the Black body. But no, race originates in the white imagination.”

And this:
“The desire for a mono-racial world persists every time a writer does not need to state that a character is white.”

Yes, yes, yes. I remember how startled I was when reading a certain aboriginal novel and one of the characters referred to someone as white. A wake up call.

[Bree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ian Williams! You have done it! Thank you for being brave, honest and YOU. This collection of essays was
real. I will say no more other than I think you are a jewel and felt like we were having a conversation while I read this.

I absolutely loved Reproduction and cannot wait for more of your work.

[Zoe James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely powerful, humorous & informational. I feel honoured to read the words and stories shared by Ian

[Farid Medleg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't add much more than what has already been said here, so I'll just say, go read this. It's so, so good.

[J Earl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disorientation: Being Black in the World by Ian Williams is a collection of essays that should make every reader think and, more important, be at least a little uncomfortable.

Williams manages what many try (with varying degrees of success), which is to not only make the personal political but to make all of it important. While there is very little confrontational in the presentation that does not mean that he watered down his critiques to appease anyone. And for some of the more "sensitive" it will appear confrontational, but that will just be their defense mechanism kicking in when truth invades their space.

I think that most readers will take different things away from the book. Maybe not in the sense of a big picture view but in what will likely reverberate with them. One of my takeaways has to do with the interpersonal and the societal. I think many people who don't consider themselves overtly racist feel that how they treat people is the best thing they can do to make the world better. When in fact that should simply be normal, we should treat people the same regardless of any aspect of their personhood. Because of the society we live in, read a white supremacist one, what passes for normal behavior can often be racist (as well as sexist, etc), so doing the best one can interpersonally is important. But change has to be made in the structures and policies of society/government/business/etc. Without that, we aren't so much making change by being good human beings to fellow human beings as we are pretending that by doing so everything will get better. It won't. It hasn't. There have to be institutional changes. There have to be infrastructure changes. While many of the points in this book, other than his personal stories, are not new, Williams helps us to see where the hidden (to whites) anti-Black obstacles are. So while it is important on the personal level to make our interactions as antiracist as possible, we can't be satisfied with that. That should be the very beginning. And listening (or reading) to what others have to say about their experiences with an open mind and an open heart is a great place to start.

I don't care how many other books on anti-Black racism you've read, and I don't care how much you already "know" about the ills of our society, reading this book will offer more insight. Until we make the change necessary, we need to keep listening and keep striving. More perspectives can only help, even if you only take a couple of key points away.

Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via NetGalley.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely refreshing in an age of social media justice to read the words of someone who does not believe in a simple post being the same as meaningful assistance.

The moving company....that was appalling. The conversation with Atwood would have reduced me to tears as I'm a total fangirl for her.

I'm not Black myself, but I understand the feeling of looking around the room and only seeing white faces. In Canada, it can be pretty common. In the US, it's a lot worse (people immediately assuming I'm a terrorist based on my skin in the more rural areas). Yet I know I still have it a lot easier than my Black colleagues and classmates. I'm lucky to have attended a very diverse university, and actually have professors who looked like me. I can't imagine how alienating it would be to not - I might have been on a very different path if I had different professors than the ones I did.

I used to count how many non-white people I would see on my trips to Minnesota with my family. Seeing the comfort notes here made me feel less alone. I'm not the only one keeping track.

I'm going to try and read the book he mentioned where he wrote from the lens of a woman and see how that goes before judging it - if anything, this helped me with being a touch less judgy based on outside appearances.

Also, an easy read in terms of length, but a difficult read in terms of how certain parts will hit you and cause your heart to ache. Recommend.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!! Disorientation: Being Black in the World by Ian Williams is an amazing book! My 200th book of 2021 and it was five stars! Right away I loved the conversational tone to the writing and the personal stories. It’s an important read on the topic of race and specifically Ian’s experiences as a Black Canadian man. It was especially interesting to read about his differing experiences in Canada versus America and Vancouver versus Toronto. By the end of the book I felt very emotional and almost cried. This is talented writing and I’m so excited to read his novel Reproduction now!
.
Thank you to Europa Editions via NetGalley for my gifted review copy!

[Nadia L. Hohn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book and analysis on race. This is the first time I read Ian’s nonfiction. I look forward to more. I appreciated his reflections on a Black Canadian-Caribbean identity in different contexts—locally, US, and overseas. I also learned more about his career. Fun fact: I used to teach with Ian’s mother and I l3anred about his work through her in the most interesting way.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Things that stood out to me:
- People of colour don't want to be white. We want to exist at full value - and the only people who seem to occupy that class of existence are white folks, hence the metonymic slip.
- 70-93% of communication is non-verbal
- People live good lives never having encountered whiteness
- Your English ability has nothing to do with your intelligence. The fact that you can't express yourself doesn't mean that you don't have thoughts to express.
- Positions change as the context around them widens
- Black people care about race because it affects them. White people care about race until it affects them.
- Hope lies in caring for something beyond the self.
- Disorientation of formative racialization for me: going into an audition and realizing majority of attendees were white- realizing that as long as you are white you are pretty as that is the beauty standard
- In response to previous point, "in all cases, the artist disorientation that accompanies racial experiences marks on emerging awareness of white dominance, and a place for the black person in the hierarchy of whiteness"
- Commenting on a white persons freckles, red hair, or piggish nose is not racialized because there is no systemic backing
- Though that is relevant across the board: "acknowledge, even prioritize, the feelings of Black people, the unfair disorientation that we are constantly contending with while they merrily continue their day"
- Experience > interpretation
- Thought: if it triggers or coheres a black persons experiences then yes it is racist

[Sarah Flynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a brilliant little book. Part memoir, part think piece, and a lot poem, it approaches from many angles one singular phenomenon: disorientation that arises when race rears it’s head in the lives of black people in North America. Williams doesn’t spend a lot of time on causes of or cures for racism. He doesn’t spend any time telling concerned white folks what they should do or how to act. He simply describes the shocking, destabilizing disorientation he and others feel whenever they are blindsided by racial workings.
I think this may be the most important kind of book for white folks to read at the end of the day. Because the process of dismantling white supremacy and healing from the last 400 some odd years is going to be messy chaotic and painful. You can read as many books as you want about how to act, what to say and not say, etc, but that can’t prepare you for the actual trial that lies ahead. The only thing that can is humility, empathy, and deep listening. A book like Williams’s book, well if you don’t find it humbling and deeply-listenable, then no amount of ally trailing is going to make you anti white supremacist either.
Read it.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I both enjoyed, and learned a lot from this book. This book started with a comparison about learning to swim as an adult with having a conversation about race…
It’s potentially unpleasant and awkward;
you’ve been avoiding it, perhaps due to an internal story;
where would you use the skill?
it could get deep;
and what if I contaminate the pool?
This gave me permission to be nervous about the topic, but able to continue reading, to learn, and potentially use this knowledge to have a conversation about race.

As a high school teacher this subject (race and racism) has been the focus of many a PD session, but this narrative gave me much insight into the topic that I felt I’d been missing. By reading another perspective, I found things made more sense. I could empathize with the author as he described different situations he, or other black people have found themselves in.

Worth a read.

Note: I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway.

[Matthew Molinaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

there's a really sublime passage in this collection wherein williams documents every Black person he sees in his day-to-day, and here I felt that the author embraced the vulnerability of sharing the multilayered and at times complex and unconscious reality of being Black in Canada.

it's a meditative and all-encompassing, yet short read: the reflections on moving, driving, swimming while Black are incredibly damning. what a unique and observant writer and thinker.

this one kept me captivated through night and morning, I haven't read williams' prose or poetry but I'm much more inclined to now.

[Jane Mulkewich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read a borrowed copy of this book, but I will buy my own copy so I can read it again and again. Trinidadian-born Canadian Ian Williams writes about race in a conversational, intimate way, sharing his own nervousness and silences and discomfort, giving the reader permission to reflect on their own experiences and discomforts. When I get my own copy and read this book again, I will likely have more to say about it... for now, I will just say this is a highly recommended read, whether you think you are interested in race issues or not; we are all swimming in the same swimming pool (his analogies about the swimming pool are great).

[Karen]

A memoir and thought piece about being Black in modern Canada, and particularly about the disorientation that white majority/supremacy culture instills in Black people and everyone else. When upholding whiteness means denying the personhood and humanity of Black people, it results in a tipsy, baffling, impossible-to-navigate world for Black people. In everything from life’s major questions (who am I, where do I got in) to the details of everyday life (was that guy racist just now? will I ever know?) Williams is funny and thoughtful and at times angry, or just reporting—in such a disoriented world, who can say?

[Lorraine · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I set out to read the words of Ian Williams I know that I am going to think differently in the end. I appreciate that experience and I was honored to receive an advance read copy of "Disorientation: Being Black in the World" from Netgalley.

One of my favorite parts was the experience of a moment with Margaret Atwood. I was watching the actual discussion when it aired and I enjoyed the background and insights.

Ian Williams is a thought provoking writer. This book has stayed with me for several days.

[Carla Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an incredibly vulnerable honesty. There were several points in the book where I felt the author had explored and picked to understand more about his natural response to trauma in such insightful ways that I responded instantly with a visceral emotion. Several points while reading this book I had to stop and consider my own decisions and responses in my own traumatic experiences, though I am a white person and have found those reactions from different causes. Ian has done incredibly truthful and insightful work. Such a valuable read.

[Jane Beard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book slowly, in parcels, so I could sit with the information and insights it contains as well as my own reactions to them. I feel as changed by this book as by any I've read, and better equipped to spot racist systems and the consequences of those systems. I've been able to hekp others see them, as well, so as a group, we could implement a different practice in specific areas. That's not to say I'm great; it's to say that you, too, could be changed enough to spot what would have been invisible to you, so you can influence a different system or practice. A must read, in my view.

[Kerry Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

We needed this book. Happy it is in the canon and ppl get to read about the black experience, especially in Canada. Racism exists here too. It is more of the dog whistle kind and there are very polite racists here, so now you all know. So many of Ian’s experiences parallel my own. He captured the essence of a caribbean upbringing against the backdrop of Canadian life. This should be a handbook of sorts. So many can relate. It is also just a beautifully written story. Absolutely deserving of the Giller.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read/listen for all Canadians and Americans in my humble opinion. He details as a Black Canadian what living in both Canada and the US as a Black person is like. Through a series of short stories, he details racist episodes that happened to him in his life simply because of the color of his skin and the treatment he receives because of it. I listened to this one and I enjoyed it immensely and utterly devoured it. I found some of his stories sad and at times, heartbreaking. Truly a powerful and heartfelt set of stories.

[Blake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wanted to read a chronicle of experience from a Black Canadian author and found this book on a recommendation. Told more like a series of short stories or essays from Dr. Ian Williams' life experience, this is a fascinating account of living as a black person in the world, not just in one place. Really good read into just how disorienting the biases that other cultures hold on black people can be for an individual.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I think what I liked most about this was the perspective of living as a Black man in Canada. There was even a section where he was visiting my city, and it wasn’t surprising at how white he found it here - I really wish we had more diversity.

I did find my mind wandering from time to time, which is why I didn’t rate it higher, but he gave me food for thought more than once, so I’m glad I read it.

[Nicole Reads Romance · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection of essays on Ian’s perspective on being Black in the world as a Canadian immigrant. I learned a lot! I appreciated the Canadian perspective, and Ian’s narration was great. Memoirs are not books I reach for but I knew Ian in middle school and couldn’t not. I’m so glad I read this one.

A good read for anyone. Among other topics Ian discusses the loneliness of being the only in a room/school/city. On being Black in the US but not African-American. On systematic racism.

[Katie Mercer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book needs to be read as a book, not on kindle- and I absolutely cannot wait to read it as a book. Williams is a brilliant author, who is so celebrated for a reason. It starts with a bang “ I doubt you want to swim in the putrid opinions of narrow-minded folks.” and it’s all perfect from there.

I got an ARC from NetGalley, and fully intend on buying a physical copy!

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been in a mixed-race marriage with a third generation Japanese Canadian for 42 years. We have three children, none of whom have chosen white partners. We have welcomed a Guyanese-Jamaican, a Vietnamese and a Pakistani to our family.
I often wonder how the world perceives them. Thanks to Ian Williams for sharing his experiences and his understanding.

[biz · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was an outstanding collection of essays. every chapter was insightful and undoubtedly authentic — as a poc from brampton who struggles to find the words to describe her own experiences, the vulnerability was much appreciated. i was a huge fan of the novel reproduction, but these personal essays had a distinct weight to them and i'll think about the words for a long time.

[Marion · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful. Written by a Canadian about the systemic racism occuring in a nation that denies it's racist. Disorientation- how he feels when the perception of him by others and their actions toward hi are so different to who he really is because their assumption of who he is because of the colour of his skin