Seeing Through Tears

by Judith Kay Nelson

Seeing Through Tears is a groundbreaking examination of crying behavior and the meaning behind our tears. Drawing from attachment theory and her own original research, Judith Nelson presents an exciting new view of crying as a part of our inborn equipment for establishing and maintaining emotional connections. In a comprehensive look at crying through the life cycle, this insightful volume presents a novel theoretical framework before offering useful and practical advice for dealing with this most fundamental of human behaviors.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

256 pages, Paperback

First published February 25, 2005

Reviews

[Robin Adler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is guaranteed to teach you something about yourself, specifically about the meaning of your tears and the meaning you attach to other people's tears.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5

[Charlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nelson has a really good idea here, and I feel that my clinical work with clients benefited from the connection between crying behaviors and attachment theory that this book advances. At the same time, the research and clinical basis of the work underwhelmed, relying heavily on anecdotal and literary examples and sometimes dismissing contradictory evidence or theory rather than giving it a full hearing. In general, Nelson's points made a good deal of sense, but her cavalier attitude toward a lack of empirical evidence rather surprised me. In addition, Nelson operates and theorizes almost exclusively from a psychodynamic perspective, causing many of her recommendations, examples, and theories to feel inapplicable to people who work in more time-limited contexts or with greater attention paid to short-term, objective changes in symptoms. I initially started reading this book as a response to a client who had frequent, uncontrollable crying spells, and the material did help tremendously in my conceptualization of and interaction with this client. A clinician facing a similar situation might expect similar benefits.

[Courtenay · Rating 5 out of 5]

With attachment theory growing in importance, this was a wonderfully written guide to the developmental road map of crying. It sheds light on the nature of tears and their intrinsic value to us as humans. This book offers insight into relationship, be it the relationship with one's self, the dyadic relationship, or the countless relationships that form our communities and society as a whole. It is a clinical but rich read, one I recommend to anyone with an interest in understanding human behavior.