Selfish: How to unlearn the rules that are breaking you

by Turia Pitt

Hello dear reader! Thank you for choosing this book. Was it the cover that piqued your interest? That luscious hair of mine streaming over my shoulder in the cover photo?

Or … was it the title?

But why? Because, after all, who really wants to be *selfish*? Being called selfish is hurtful. It implies that you’re too
demanding, inconsiderate of others’ needs, that you fail to put others first. It states that you’re taking up too much space.

We’re told that being a good woman means being selfless. That we should give, care and carry without ever asking for rest or help.

But what if those rules are breaking us?

In Selfish, I flip the script on sacrifice, guilt and burnout. With honesty and humour (you know it’s true!) I explore the
cost of being selfless – and what happens when we dare to put ourselves first. This isn’t a book about ‘having it all’. It’s about having yourself. If you’re resentful, burned out, sick of people pleasing or simply pissed off …

This book is for you.

Genres: Audiobook, Nonfiction, Book Club, Birds

264 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 7, 2025

Reviews

[howsoonisnow · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always enjoy Pitt's pleasant, friendly, easygoing and companiable prose. She has a unique conversational narration style, even asking "Is it okay if I talk about this?" when she wonders if something in her book is repetitive or off-topic. It's enjoyable, like hearing from a warm and interesting friend. Pitt is vulnerable about her personal struggles, with interesting intimate anecdotes like the loneliness of getting nasal surgery alone, seeing her book "Happy" on the bookshelf of a psychologist's office whilst in tears, being (insensitively) told by her radiographer that her "fingers are incredibly deformed". The narrative is split under subheadings titled after a specific incident in her life (such as above). Alongside personal anecdotes, are references to books and interviews with she's had with people, on the topic of how women put their wellbeing on the backburner because of gender inequality and societal expectations; and the importance of counteracting this with self-care. Overall, mostly enjoyable, sometimes tedious, nothing groundbreaking, but a pleasant read, nonetheless.

[EmG ReadsDaily · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful and relevant read which highlights the importance of emotional literacy, understanding of the mental load and what self-care can actually be.

I really enjoyed the audiobook, which is beautifully narrated by Turia.

[Christie Mack · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t usually gravitate toward memoirs, but when Selfish popped up as an online loan from my local library, I decided to give it a try. I started it in bed one evening and ended up finishing it the next morning over coffee and breakfast. Granted, I’m a fast reader—TBRs and reading challenges have never worked for me—but this book genuinely pulled me in more than I expected.

Turia Pitt’s reflections on selfishness are thoughtful, candid, and surprisingly relatable. There’s something compelling about stepping into someone else’s life and seeing how they navigate a concept we’re often taught to avoid. Her perspective is grounded, honest, and at times quietly provocative.

Overall, Selfish was a fascinating and unexpectedly enjoyable read—one that lingered with me long after I closed the final page.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was so relatable on so many levels. I think it's a really important read for women. Especially women who are in heterosexual relationships, women who are mothers and women who are in caring roles at work or at home.

I'm looking forward to checking out the Selfish workbook and resources list.

[Leanne Shelton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it in 2 days! If you're looking for a self-help book, this isn't for you. But if you're after a quirky, conversational read about a fellow woman who gets your day-to-day struggles, then get onto it. 😊

[Natalie Fisher · Rating 4 out of 5]

One really important thing I've taken from reading this is actually completing the stress cycle to alleviate the fight of flight mode. Then your brain will accept you've survived the threat and settle.

[Maree Cooper · Rating 2.75 out of 5]

I found it a bit whiny and that I was being mansplained the complexities of being a mum and wife in modern society - I don’t feel like I was provided with any solutions just found myself a bit jealous of the privileged situation of others!

[Nicole Gosciniak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful read. Definitely made me think and reevaluate what self care means to me and that it’s not selfish, it’s essential.

[Natalie Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the audio book. Loved Turia reading her story to me. Great for improving self awareness.

[Kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Susie Pettit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoy reading about Turia’s life and her perspective.

[Malvina · Rating 3 out of 5]

An informative, good book about bringing out the best in yourself. Turia Pitt is a legend, quite frankly, and it's always interesting to hear what she has to say.

[Amy Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Again not my usual read and likely wouldn't have finished if it wasn't for the audiobook. Found some parts quite relatable