I Do Not Sleep

by Judy Finnigan

From bestselling author, broadcaster, journalist and Book Club champion Judy Finnigan comes an unputdownable and wonderfully moving story of the enduring power of a mother's love.

Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there; I do not sleep.

Five years ago, Molly Gabriel lost her 20-year-old son, Joey, to a terrible sailing accident. His empty boat was found washed ashore on the rocks -- but his body was never found. Now, Molly has returned to the sands of Cornwall haunted by his death, unable to accept he is gone. Joey was an experienced sailor and died on a calm sea -- things just don't add up and Molly cannot let it go. Desperate for answers she turns to Joey's best friend, Ben, to go back to what really happened that day . . .

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Contemporary

384 pages, Paperback

First published February 12, 2015

Reviews

[Dale Harcombe · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a rather haunting quality to this book that is partly to do with the setting of Cornwall and also because of a woman’s grief at the disappearance of her son Joey when his wrecked boat was washed up on shore. After five years of grieving that has virtually shut her husband and other son Danny out, her family decide enough is enough and convince Molly to return to Cornwall. Needless to say, things don’t work out exactly as the family hoped.
While I found the story readable I struggled to relate to Molly. Admittedly, I have never had a child die, but I found it hard to relate to the way Molly dwelt on Joey’s disappearance and assumed death and didn’t treasure the family she had left. I particular felt sorry for her husband.
I knew nothing about the author but picked the book up initially because of its beautiful cover and the title. The blurb on the back sounded interesting, however I did not find it ’intensely emotional and relentlessly suspenseful,’ as the blurb claimed. I found it seemed to drag on a bit but maybe that was because I didn’t relate to Molly and so was not emotionally invested in the story. Then the ending seemed a bit rushed. So, mixed feelings about this one. I loved the descriptions of Cornwall and the atmosphere, though could have done without some aspects concerning scarecrows and Charmers, which really seemed like they were just put in for effect. All in all though it didn’t quite live up to what I expected, and that is, I suspect, largely because my emotions never became involved. I was just reading a book not living it with the characters.

[ReadAlongWithSue recovering from a stroke★⋆. ࿐࿔ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to thank Little, Brown Book Group UK for my copy of I Do Not Sleep by Judy Finnigan.


As soon as I finished the last page I had to text my book buddy I had finished it with a huge lump in my throat, it brought tears to my eyes and I was really moved by this story.

After reading Judy's first book Eloise, which I loved, I knew from this she had hidden talents from her TV work. A great story teller, however, I wondered if her second book would live up to the 'high' hopes I had for her.

Well let me tell you it did, more than did in fact.

I was blown away by the mystical atmospheric awesomeness that this was written in at times.

The fact that its based around Cornwall which I remember as one of our holidaying places when I was younger added to the lure.

Can you imagine this.

You have two sons.
One son is reported missing and after a time, said to be dead. But his body is never found. It happened in a place in Cornwall where the family liked to stay for a break/vacation. What would it be like revisiting that place years later?

Could you accept your son dead? Would you wonder where his body lays?

Hard to accept I would imagine, and I have just followed such a Mother on her journey. I just followed a Mother and the Father. I just followed the Mother, Father and the grown son who now is a Father of his own. The havoc it can cause.

Everyone Grieves, "deals with it" "moves on" at their own pace.

Father was moving on [so he thought] son was moving on, he had a wife and child of his own. But Mom, she couldn't move on.

We see the effects on the relationships.

We also "hear" her son's voice calling out to be saved.
What does it all mean.


I was so impressed and moved by this story because it was so heart rending, and so emotionally written that you couldn't help getting involved.

I have to say, this book threw me, I enjoyed it much much more than I thought I would.


I just can't wait to see what Judy comes up with next.

[Fran Hawkes · Rating 1 out of 5]

It will take a long time for me to forgive book club members for making me read this book. It is a supernatural tear-jerker which entirely skipped any form of characterisation in favour of cloying, miserable plot and irritating finale. Shite.

[Reesy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Readable but only just...think Judy should probably stick to reviewing books rather than writing them

[Tracym · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly excellent, such a captivating must read book. I was enthralled all the way through and just wanted to keep turning the pages. Desperate to get the end but at the same time not wanting it to end. This book was as good as her first and I really hope Judy Finnigan writes more.

[Hannah Stewart · Rating 2 out of 5]

Call me a cynic, but I don't understand how this book achieved 4 & 5 star ratings. I have heard of authors paying for such privileges but didn't believe it. After reading this book, I could believe that it's true.

The central character, Molly, was a very selfish character. Although I didn't count them, but I could easily believe that 70% of the sentences in this booked started with 'I'. It was I this, me that, I felt, my wouldn't. Very, very tiring.

And half the plot line didn't even relate to the actual story. The scarecrow? Was a joke. It made me feel like the author hadn't reached their word count goal, so lets chuck in a little side story - of a super scary scarecrow. *eye roll*

Oh dear me, flirting with my own husband? How scandalous! But yet I don't want sex, that would be a bar too far, wouldn't it now, boys and girls?
I know that I often complain that characters seem more like caricatures than real people but I didn't even get that sense here; the characters were just card board cut outs with no depth at all. I still don't feel like I know any of the characters.

Oh and the gay twist. No one saw that coming but as a struggling author, got to keep the LGBTQI community on board, right? They may even boost sales if there's a gay character in it (for all of 3 pages people. Don't get excited).

1 extra star given as there weren't any typos/major errors (other than the story arc itself).

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the setting of this book- any book set in Cornwall calls to me. I know Judy Finnigan loves Cornwall and it shines through in her descriptions. The cover is really lovely aswell- so both of those things would draw me to pick this book up.
Molly lost her 20 year old son in a sailing accident five years ago. She is haunted by his death and has returned to look into what really happened. She is desperate to ask his best friend Ben, what really happened on that day. How did he die on such a calm sea, when he was a skilled sailor. Why didn’t his body ever appear.
Her husband takes her back to Cornwall to try and get closure for her, so that she can accept his loss and maybe manage to cope with everyday life. But she pushes them aside and isolates herself. How will she find resolution and will her husband get his wife back?
I really enjoyed this one.
With many thanks to Little Brown Book Group Uk and Net Galley for the chance to read this one.

[Aoife · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a free digital copy from the author/publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest feedback.

Molly's son Joey went missing while on a solo sail five years ago. Now, Molly is back in Cornwall, the last place her son was, for a family holiday as what remains of her family try and get back to normal. But Molly can't let go of Joey and feels like until she finds his body, she can never be at peace. She sets out to try and bring her son home.

While this was an emotional and heartfelt read, I kind of felt like it was too much. There was such a huge emphasis on Molly's grief and how overwhelming it was. It's terrible to be judging someone's grief but it was like Molly forgot that other people had lost Joey too, and she didn't care that she was wrecking everyone else's holiday and not letting them move on. It was as if she thought her grief was far more powerful and outweighed theirs. I also felt that the hints of the 'creepiness' and supernatural element felt a tiny bit out of place. I think the author should have gone all in with this one, or left it out all together. It just didn't work for me that much.

I was also a bit horrified at how Joey died in the end. Did he really have to suffer and starve to death in a cave and in so much pain? I was kind of hoping he'd been shot dead, clean and quick, by the drug dealers.

[Lynn Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Couldn’t put the book down excellent read. Loved the setting and the descriptions of Cornwall

[Cheenu (◕ᴗ◕✿) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐
This book was... Intresting.

[Anoja · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5/5

I decided to buy this book because the main events of the story are very similar to things that I have recently gone through in my life as well, but from a mother's perspective. The story follows Molly who had lost her son 5 years ago to a sailing accident and isn't able to accept that he has passed away because his body was never found. Due to this, she believes that he is still alive, and when her family goes on vacation to the very place where they lost him, she feels that it is time to finally find out where he is.
I really enjoyed the writing by this author, however, I found a lot of the middle of the book to be repetitive. the "mystery" of what could have happened to her son was a little obvious in my opinion, however, I don't actually think the aim was to be a mystery, but rather for us, the reader, to follow Molly on her journey of finding out what happened to her son, and finally finding peace. There was also a bit of a supernatural component to the story that I didn't expect, but I surprisingly enjoyed this aspect. This story was incredibly sad, and I would definitely recommend it if you're looking for a good cry.

[Aimee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, as I was a huge fan of Judy Finnegan'sfirst novel; "Eloise." But "I Do Not Sleep," Finnegan's second novel, was a big disappointment in comparison. I found it completely predictable, and nothing surprised me. As with the last book I read, what should have been major, shocking revelations were just another part of the story. I had worked out the 'shock' ending before I was even halfway through the book! I tired quickly of the endless chapters detailing, in depth, Molly's dreams, or visions. I found them dull, and very 'airy fairy.' The book would have been better off without these kinds of details, I felt, and I largely skimmed these bits. There was a decent storyline beneath all this, though, and strong characters; Finnegan does a wonderful job of exploring grief, just as she did a wonderful job of exploring depression in "Eloise." I didn't completely hate the novel, it just disappointed in comparison with her first. Even not comparing the two, there are still too many bad points about this novel to make it a fantastic read.

Just A Little Review Blog x

[Tracey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely read. Judy Finnegan truly captured the essence of Cornwall in her novel.
The supernatural feel weaved nicely in the plot , not scary more comforting .
The story of a mother , lost at the disappearance and presumed death of her son one day. On her return to the area , the past brings back memories and feelings that leave her resolving to find out what happened to her son.
Along the way she meets a friend who is giving her a strength , and in the end sympathy as she loses her young daughter . They'd grief brings them together at a time they needed it most.
The inclusion of her son's friend especially at the end , brings her relief when they find her sons body and a beautifully written note . Judy Finnegan write that beautifully , and it brought a few tears to my eyes.
I love that Molly never gave up on finding her son , that maternal determination for the truth felt very powerful.

[Dorothy Flaxman · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story is narrated from the Mother's love and grief for her lost son. She will not rest till she finds out the truth of what happened to him.

This is a book which draws you in and, as I live in Cornwall and recognise the places in the story, it made it more special.

The book is well written with likeable and believable characters.

I read this book quickly and without spoiling it, it has a lovely, emotional ending with a feel-good factor.

[Sarah Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say I really enjoyed I Do Not Sleep by Judy Finnigan. It was a real page turner and had a good plot line, good characters and good descriptions of Cornwall. Loved the spooky elements!

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous story. Haunting, quite scary in part, but full of human emotions readily recognisable in your own experiences. I couldn't put this down.

[Mairi Byatt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sadly, very disappointed. Struggled to get through it. It read like a first novel by a first year literature student armed with a thesaurus. I felt no empathy with the central character.

[Book Addict Shaun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard and Judy are two of our biggest champions of books in the UK, and I always look forward to their book club picks. I remember when they released their first novels, I was intrigued as to whether they would be any good. I received Richard Madeley's The Way You Look Tonight to review last year, and as you can see from that review , I was pleasantly surprised. Having now finished Judy's second novel, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Molly Gabriel and her family are returning to Cornwall, five years after the devastating disappearance of her son, Joey, his body never found, assumed dead. Molly has never been able to accept he is gone, and remains haunted by his disappearance. Turning to her son's best friend, she is determined to find out what really happened five years ago. Judy has captured her setting beautifully, using it as the perfect backdrop to tell this story. On the one hand the sheer beauty of Cornwall is evident on the page, but at the same time due to the at times heartbreaking nature of the plot, the real danger of Cornwall's waters was evident, creating a really atmospheric read in places. In one picture it can be calm and tranquil, another, dark and dangerous. Judy's descriptions really helped me to picture the setting in my mind quite vividly.

I Do Not Sleep is somewhat of a powerful read in places. The heartrending grief that Molly feels is palpable, as is her fierce insistence, her need to find answers to her son's disappearance. Her reluctance to fully accept that he is dead until a body is found. A mother's love is incredibly strong, and Judy completely conveyed to the reader how this made Molly feel. It was a bit of an emotional read in places. The feelings of the characters were both believable and realistic, not just from Molly but the various family members that are grieving also. I think most of us are guilty of taking loved ones for granted, this book perhaps reminded me to try and do that a little less.

I had a couple of scenarios playing out in my head, and I imagine had this been more of a psychological thriller then my ideas would probably have played out. Instead what we have here is a quite sad story in places, but oddly at the same time an uplifting one. As always it's difficult to elaborate without giving the story away, but towards the end it is all wrapped up, the story comes together and there's a wonderful little twist before the final conclusion. Overall I highly recommend this book, and will definitely be checking out Judy's first book, Eloise, as well as keeping a keen eye out for what she writes next.

[Ali Bookworm · Rating 5 out of 5]

One word: Wow! I have read this book in just 24 hours and found it unputdownable. The subject matter, for me, personally, was quite moving. It is about grief, how it consumes you. and how it can destroy the rest of your life if you let it. It is also a book about closure and moving on. How I hate those words. Molly is still grieving 5 years on after the loss of her son. It shows there is no time limit on grief. It made me realise that I am still grieving for my Mum and also my ex partner...it is not even 3 years until Christmas. I understood many of the feelings and emotions in the story but it did not upset me...it just helped.me to understand where I am. I had to finish it and the way it was written compelled me to keep going, just like Molly. It also reminded me of happy times spent in Cornwall, family ones with my Mum and also with my expartner David. All the place names and in particular Jamaica Inn where we went one dark night. I also have a strange fascination for scarecrows. I would recommend this as a good read in general but in particular for anybody coming to terms with loss. Well done Judy

[Sarah Warren · Rating 3 out of 5]

If it weren't for the final couple of chapters (maybe even just the final chapter!) this could have received four or even five stars. I loved it ... Until the end, which made me want to throw it across the room in disappointment. The kind of ending you'd get from badly written fan-fiction. I despair, because until then I was hooked and engrossed and loved the book!

Having lived in Devon and Cornwall for my entire life I could picture many of the places mentioned very well, which was nice. But that does mean I wasn't reliant on the author's description, so I'm not sure people who do not know the places in real life would get as much enjoyment from it.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit better than Eloise but frankly, it was rubbish. Lovely descriptions of Cornwall but every other description - people, emotions, cottages - are so overwrought and flowery. It's also a bit repetitive. It would be nice if she wrote a story where the main character didn't take to their bed every five minutes. At least in this one there wasn't a "beloved duvet".

[Jenni · Rating 1 out of 5]

i was looking forward to reading this book because i thought her first Eloise was very good. i got to page 96 and tried so hard to get into the story but couldnt. her son had gone missing on a boat and she was on an intense search to get to the bottom of what happened. it was depressing so i gave up.

[Trina Hollis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good story but a bit sad liked the way it all came together in the end and loved the descriptions of Cornwall.

[Simón]

Forgive me, Tolstoy, for I have read this book.

[Masha · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful. I only read to page 100. (I only got that far as it was for a book group read!)
She should stick to recommending books! Will not read any more by this author.

[Margaret Snelgar · Rating 1 out of 5]

Story line OK, but agree to a previous review, Judy should stick to presenting

[Rae Callander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could not put this book down - great read

[Krystle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very easy and pleasant read. Each chapter was only about 10 pages or less, and the font was fairly big. For a story about loss, the plot was fairly light, tone-wise.

Unlike other novels that tackle a grief-stricken protagonist, Molly was very relatable. She had her moments, but at the same time, I thought she was level-headed about it. Whenever she was being ‘unreasonable’, she would later contemplate her actions and the reactions of others. She did not wallow in self-pity and constantly feel sorry for herself; although the grief of losing Joey turned her into somewhat a zombie emotion-wise, she could still deliberate her actions after.

The theme also happened to coincide with a life event of mine, and the message that this book gave me had given somewhat of a comfort for me.

There was a pleasant surprise at the end too.

[Jacquie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book quite depressing but what should I expect when the story is about a mother who has lost her son. Molly is not only grieving for her son but cannot find any closure to his death as he's just reported as missing as no body was found.
Joeys boat was found battered & washed up off the coast of Looe in Cornwall & his disappearance is a mystery. Five years later Molly & her family come to back to Cornwall for a holiday but she is haunted by the event that took her son away & she sets out to find out the truth.
I found it a little repetitive at times but kept with it as I was intrigued to find out what had happened. A surprising ending which I wasn't expecting. All in all, a good book.

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea. I had expected this novel to be much better than it was. There are some very good descriptive passages but, for me, the plot was very poor, I just didn't buy into it at all. I found it almost insulting! I think there are many people who have lost a loved one who would find this book quite trite. If Molly really had some form of second sight why on earth didn't it kick in when Joey went missing?? Why wait five years? I cannot believe that none of the local people knew about the caves?? How did Joey manage to write a note and then put it back into the waterproof bag? When he was dying in agony? Really? The ending with the unveiling of Joey's child was very predictable. I could go on.....