Finding The Light: Turning the Grief of Child Loss Into a Light For Others

by D. Cole

43 pages, Paperback

Published April 23, 2025

Reviews

[Papergirl · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not quite know what to expect from this book. The blurb told me the writer was dealing with the loss of a child but there was no indication of the child’s age or circumstances, whether it was sudden and unexpected, or whether it was an illness that lasted a while. I had the tissues ready and prepared for the unexpected. However, Finding The Light; Turning the Grief of Child Loss Into a Light For Others by D Cole failed to deliver on the blurb or the title.

Instead of helping others learn how to deal with grief, it races through the life of their eldest daughter, focusing on her teen years, moving out, being diagnosed with an illness, and an eventual tragedy. Even the funeral is skipped over and tells us little more than about a tribute that was paid. It is not until the final 25% of the book that we start to discuss life after Heather. In doing so, rather than offering tips to other parents that have suffered a loss, the book subtly boasts about the things this family did in their daughter’s name.

Arguably, the charitable deeds conducted by the family were beautiful acts that benefited a range of people. However, speaking from a critical perspective, outside of their immediate community, why should anyone care about the Cole family? I mean no disrespect, but I guess what I am wondering is, who are the family? What were their traits before the loss of Heather? How did her death change them? What was the point in giving us background information about Heather when it did not contribute to her death, or much else as we skipped over her life?

Had I lost a loved one, I might sympathize with the family, but this book does not draw me in and make me feel close to the Coles. They have their journey but how does that relate to anyone else? In short, this is an author capturing some pivotal moments for themselves. It is a piece of vanity writing that would not help, say, the parents of a child who died of leukemia, a child lost to SIDS, or one that had committed suicide. It does little to relate to the mother experiencing a miscarriage, or one that died as a result of mistaken identity or police brutality. The book fails to discuss the stages of grief and breezes over everything in a cold, blasé manner that is akin to someone that hasn’t started to heal or, in this case, a family who has had over a decade to grieve and create charitable ventures to keep their daughter’s name alive.

Despite the undeniable love poured into this tribute, Finding the Light doesn't quite illuminate a path for others in grief. Instead, it memorializes a young woman through a lens that may resonate most with those who already knew her or who have followed the family's charitable efforts. For others, especially parents navigating fresh loss, this book may feel too closed, too selective, and too focused on what the Coles did rather than how others might cope.

If you're looking for a guide to healing or even companionship in grief, this might not be the book for you. But if you want to witness how one family chose to honor a daughter’s legacy through kindness and community, you may find quiet comfort in their story.

I rate this 1 out of 5 stars for content relevance. Not for lack of heart, but for lack of depth, universality, and emotional connection.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

True story of the loss of our daughter in 2013 and how we chose to deal with that soul shattering grief. Parents in The Club can see what we do to 'say her name' daily and maybe gain some inspiration on how they can also show kindness to others through the guidance of thier child's spirit.

All proceeds go to a non profit in our daughter's name so we can continue to give to others in her memory.