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Excellence at Work
Amanda Watson, a private detective, is as dedicated to her work as one can be. It is not just a job for her but her passion to find the missing clues and pieces to solve the mysteries presented to her. There may be hurdles in her way but she has always believed that if one is determined enough, one can even reach beyond the skies.
- GenresShort Stories
18 pages, ebook
First published September 3, 2014
26 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
March 26, 2018
Look, I get that it’s unfair to review books like ‘Excellence at work’ when I was previously reviewing Kamila Shamsie or Mohsin Hamid. I understand that you can’t compare Man Booker Prize nominees with books that are so clearly what I would have written when I was a 15-year-old teenager whose sole exposure to criticism was her friends or family saying ‘you write well!’ But the thing is, even when I was a 15-year-old writer blinded by wishful thinking and naivety, I was still wide eyed enough to not actually publish that damn stuff.
And I get that there are child prodigies who have written books when they were really really young. But that’s why they are child prodigies. They are rare! That’s the whole point!
So even though on one hand I wanted to leave this book alone (I originally intended to leave a few words of encouragement and praise, but there is such a thing as flagrant lying, and I just cannot), the whole point is to review all and every piece of Pakistani literature produced. And this, unfortunately, definitely counts.
Maybe my first indication to pull out should have been the first sentence: Amanda Watson is ‘the best detective the agency had ever had in years’. Who is this author’s English teacher, I ask you, and why aren’t the basics of ‘show, don’t tell’ taught to every student passing through the hallowed halls of Pakistani schools? But that’s small criticism compared to the rest of the drivel that is her story. The first half (ALL of the first half) revolves around a meeting with Amanda’s boss, where she tells him about this case she’s investigating. She tells him nothing of importance whatsoever. No names are taken, no suspense is built, no clues are discussed. She then proceeds to take a nap, catch a flight, get robbed at an airport, and give a final presentation without her stolen file.
The (thankfully very quick) end.
This is simply poor storytelling, but more to the point, this is what one would call draft 1 of a story whose draft 483 might maybe get approved, and then get passed on to copy editing. It’s commendable simply in the fact that someone has the kind of thick skin required to put such amazingly bad prose out there.
Five stars for the relentless pursuit of one’s dreams. A negative million for the story itself.
Recommendation:
There is too much good literature out there. Just don’t.
***
I review Pakistani Fiction, and talk about Pakistani fiction, and want to talk to people who like to talk about fiction (Pakistani and otherwise, take your pick.) To read more reviews or just contact me so you can talk about books, check out my Blog or follow me on Twitter!
And I get that there are child prodigies who have written books when they were really really young. But that’s why they are child prodigies. They are rare! That’s the whole point!
So even though on one hand I wanted to leave this book alone (I originally intended to leave a few words of encouragement and praise, but there is such a thing as flagrant lying, and I just cannot), the whole point is to review all and every piece of Pakistani literature produced. And this, unfortunately, definitely counts.
Maybe my first indication to pull out should have been the first sentence: Amanda Watson is ‘the best detective the agency had ever had in years’. Who is this author’s English teacher, I ask you, and why aren’t the basics of ‘show, don’t tell’ taught to every student passing through the hallowed halls of Pakistani schools? But that’s small criticism compared to the rest of the drivel that is her story. The first half (ALL of the first half) revolves around a meeting with Amanda’s boss, where she tells him about this case she’s investigating. She tells him nothing of importance whatsoever. No names are taken, no suspense is built, no clues are discussed. She then proceeds to take a nap, catch a flight, get robbed at an airport, and give a final presentation without her stolen file.
The (thankfully very quick) end.
This is simply poor storytelling, but more to the point, this is what one would call draft 1 of a story whose draft 483 might maybe get approved, and then get passed on to copy editing. It’s commendable simply in the fact that someone has the kind of thick skin required to put such amazingly bad prose out there.
Five stars for the relentless pursuit of one’s dreams. A negative million for the story itself.
Recommendation:
There is too much good literature out there. Just don’t.
***
I review Pakistani Fiction, and talk about Pakistani fiction, and want to talk to people who like to talk about fiction (Pakistani and otherwise, take your pick.) To read more reviews or just contact me so you can talk about books, check out my Blog or follow me on Twitter!
January 29, 2018
This short story is very poorly written. No editor can salvage it. If someone who is new to Smashwords reads it, Hina Tabassum's story will surely make them deactivate their account. On the bright side it was an extremely short read, so I did not have to waste my time on it. There are too many wonderful stories out there to read, than hope for another awful sequel to this story.
January 29, 2018
Terrible. If it wasn't free, I would have kicked my self for buying this pile of rubbish masquerading as a short story.
March 22, 2015
I liked it. It's very short and yet you get the whole idea. And oh yeah you can get it for free!
March 14, 2015
Okay here it is,
1. it was very short but still we get the know picture the whole picture what author is trying to convey.
2. In a very short time (literally on 10 pages) we know our protagonist and her nature, who she is what her story( from her office setting to her mentality to the kind of book she reads HINT(Dan Brown).
3. Her dedication to work, her attitude.
i loved who from page one to the last line author summarize the story.
its not full length novel in which we get to know the character, the world building back-stories. No its about one detective life and her personality , how she handle situation, who she is, what she like. She was for me HARDCORE.
actually when started reading it, we know she is detective, working on the case and where she is ( in her office which we decorated herself). i had one face in my mind from one TVShow i saw. and i narrate whole story imagining her talking , working.
and my conclusion is I enjoy 10 pages thoroughly and would recommend to others who want to read, something fast, light, entertaining in a very short time period.
looking forward to some other work of Hina
1. it was very short but still we get the know picture the whole picture what author is trying to convey.
2. In a very short time (literally on 10 pages) we know our protagonist and her nature, who she is what her story( from her office setting to her mentality to the kind of book she reads HINT(Dan Brown).
3. Her dedication to work, her attitude.
i loved who from page one to the last line author summarize the story.
its not full length novel in which we get to know the character, the world building back-stories. No its about one detective life and her personality , how she handle situation, who she is, what she like. She was for me HARDCORE.
actually when started reading it, we know she is detective, working on the case and where she is ( in her office which we decorated herself). i had one face in my mind from one TVShow i saw. and i narrate whole story imagining her talking , working.
and my conclusion is I enjoy 10 pages thoroughly and would recommend to others who want to read, something fast, light, entertaining in a very short time period.
looking forward to some other work of Hina
December 19, 2014
I Read this book from the request on the writer of this book Hina.
it was really nice to read such book, since its written by debut writer, good work Hina and thank for inviting me to read. Wish to read more from you.
it was really nice to read such book, since its written by debut writer, good work Hina and thank for inviting me to read. Wish to read more from you.
September 19, 2014
Amanda is kick ass detective .. though i wanted to read more of her and the crimes she solved or will solve in future
January 23, 2015
I am sure the next book by the author is gonna be great.Waiting for it.
February 23, 2015
Talk about a hook into what I sincerely hope is more from Hina Tabassum! Excellence at Work is a glimpse into the life of a hardened private detective, who discovers that an unscrupulous competitor is using her work to gain favor with a client. Personally, I wouldn’t mess with Amanda Watson, the woman comes across as a powerhouse unafraid to bulldoze anyone who gets in her way. Give me a strong heroine any day and I’m on board!
Hina Tabassum has built a world, developed a character and hopefully set the stage for more to come! Looking for a woman with a great sense of work ethics, unafraid to speak out? Check out Excellence at Work and you’ll see why Hina Tabassum NEEDS to give us more. My ONLY complaint? I don't have more from this author to read.
Published: September 3, 2014
Publisher: Hina Tabassum
Print Length: 18 pages
Available from: Smashwords FREE
Reviewed for: http://tometender.blogspot.com
Hina Tabassum has built a world, developed a character and hopefully set the stage for more to come! Looking for a woman with a great sense of work ethics, unafraid to speak out? Check out Excellence at Work and you’ll see why Hina Tabassum NEEDS to give us more. My ONLY complaint? I don't have more from this author to read.
Published: September 3, 2014
Publisher: Hina Tabassum
Print Length: 18 pages
Available from: Smashwords FREE
Reviewed for: http://tometender.blogspot.com
December 12, 2014
Well, i enjoyed Hina Tabassum's "Excellence at Work". The author does a great job giving readers some interesting details, and that's quite tough considering this is a very short story. We get to know about Amanda Watson in just a few pages and I found myself wanting to know more about her. She felt a bit controlling and I would like to see her cope with matters where she has no control. Perhaps a mystery case where she doesn't know what to do and where to turn to.
I don't know if Hina is going to write more about Amanda Watson but I found Excellence at Work a kind of a prologue to future adventures starring the female detective. I mean, she can easily write the Amanda Watson mystery series and even do some sort of a spin-off that focuses on her life when she was younger. The love for the Harry Potter series is evident in the work. You got Amanda Watson (after Emma Watson I presume? I could be wrong), Percival, half moon glasses, and so on.
Excellence at work is a fun read that lays the groundwork for future stories with Amanda Watson if Hina decides to write them.
I don't know if Hina is going to write more about Amanda Watson but I found Excellence at Work a kind of a prologue to future adventures starring the female detective. I mean, she can easily write the Amanda Watson mystery series and even do some sort of a spin-off that focuses on her life when she was younger. The love for the Harry Potter series is evident in the work. You got Amanda Watson (after Emma Watson I presume? I could be wrong), Percival, half moon glasses, and so on.
Excellence at work is a fun read that lays the groundwork for future stories with Amanda Watson if Hina decides to write them.
January 26, 2015
*Excellence at work by Hina Tabassum*
I love reading stories about detectives and cool police officers (I’m a big fan of Sherlock) and when she gave me this book to read I was hoping some fast-action-based-story and I GOT MY WISH.
I loved this book.
For starters, the main character Amanda Watson is kick-ass. Secondly, we see how she grew as a person and as a detective throughout the story. I loved the fact that she was reading ‘Inferno’ by Dan Brown as I am a huge fan of his work.
I also loved how Amanda was happy to hear a fleck of friendliness from Percy, her boss.
I would love to read more of Amanda Watson.
Happy Reading!
I love reading stories about detectives and cool police officers (I’m a big fan of Sherlock) and when she gave me this book to read I was hoping some fast-action-based-story and I GOT MY WISH.
I loved this book.
For starters, the main character Amanda Watson is kick-ass. Secondly, we see how she grew as a person and as a detective throughout the story. I loved the fact that she was reading ‘Inferno’ by Dan Brown as I am a huge fan of his work.
I also loved how Amanda was happy to hear a fleck of friendliness from Percy, her boss.
I would love to read more of Amanda Watson.
Happy Reading!
October 1, 2014
Hina's story Excellence at work is such that you become an anticipator as you go on reading. Which of course is a good sign for a piece of writing. She very kindly pins up minute details of the characters and the background while considering this as a short story. She has a new idea of describing seriousness of a scenario in a very interesting manner especially where she details the mugging of the secret file. Keep up the good work ahead Hina! :)
September 22, 2014
the details with which the writer has describe the characters made me want to read more about their detective lives; such characterization is just so rare in short stories. Besides this the plot itself is such that it can be enjoyed by every age group. I will totally recommend it for the kids who are into mystery novels!
December 28, 2014
Lovely little story - too short, in my opinion! The character of Amanda is very well developed. Some mystery exists in her relationship with her boss and I would love to see where it goes. I strongly recommend that the author consider developing this into a novel.
November 28, 2016
4 Stars:
The plot of the story is very impressive BUT there are so many unnecessary description of Characters & Scenes.
This is admirable that author wrote this story during her school time. So, for that, she has written a very good story.
I expect that your next novel will be good.
The plot of the story is very impressive BUT there are so many unnecessary description of Characters & Scenes.
This is admirable that author wrote this story during her school time. So, for that, she has written a very good story.
I expect that your next novel will be good.
October 16, 2014
The story "Excellence at work" is interesting. As you go on reading your interest built in... great work
April 20, 2015
Disclaimer: I was provided a free copy from the author, in exchange for an honest review.
This is a short detective story, focusing on Amanda Watson.
I do not know how this has made me feel. Part of me can see the potential for this story, the other disappointed that it was not met in this book.
For the most part of the story, the reader is met with a lot of repetitive exposition. For instance, I think I read three to four times about the size of the "not so small and yet still small" office. I think once would have been enough to set the scene. And the writing, whilst it did pick up (some) steam near the end, did not draw me in. Some of the sentences were fragmented, and did not flow smoothly from one to the other. Early on in the book, I felt I was reading a to-do list of what she should do next (i.e. wake up after power nap, wash face, brush hair, change shoes, walk out of office, catch taxi etc.) which after a while, made me lose interest in what I was reading.
As a detective, to have the answers given to her about what she needed, and where she needed to be, didn't really fit. It felt a bit like M giving James Bond all the information he needs prior to going on a mission. A detective gets the information as they go along, finding it out for themselves. If there is to be a re-write, I would suggest that the book takes this route. Unless of course Ms. Watson has a career change into espionage.
For a short story, the writing needs to be short, sharp and to the point. It needs to draw the reader in from the first line. I feel that too much descriptive writing (I did not feel that I needed to know the file was leather "that was probably not leather", or the history of her desk) is not the best approach. If there had been more focus on her case and what it was about, that would have been more interesting. Had this been a longer book, the length of exposition would have been ok. We got to know what Ms Watson is like, but not who she is.
With more work, editing and additional chapters, I'm sure that this book will be a very entertaining read. As it stands now, it does need a lot of fine tuning to get it right for a short story. There are not many female detective stories that I can think of currently (some will probably come to me later on), so there is a market for this sort of book.
I strongly encourage Ms Tabassum to keep on working on this book. I can see her, and this book's potential, and I really do hope that there is another edition!
This is a short detective story, focusing on Amanda Watson.
I do not know how this has made me feel. Part of me can see the potential for this story, the other disappointed that it was not met in this book.
For the most part of the story, the reader is met with a lot of repetitive exposition. For instance, I think I read three to four times about the size of the "not so small and yet still small" office. I think once would have been enough to set the scene. And the writing, whilst it did pick up (some) steam near the end, did not draw me in. Some of the sentences were fragmented, and did not flow smoothly from one to the other. Early on in the book, I felt I was reading a to-do list of what she should do next (i.e. wake up after power nap, wash face, brush hair, change shoes, walk out of office, catch taxi etc.) which after a while, made me lose interest in what I was reading.
As a detective, to have the answers given to her about what she needed, and where she needed to be, didn't really fit. It felt a bit like M giving James Bond all the information he needs prior to going on a mission. A detective gets the information as they go along, finding it out for themselves. If there is to be a re-write, I would suggest that the book takes this route. Unless of course Ms. Watson has a career change into espionage.
For a short story, the writing needs to be short, sharp and to the point. It needs to draw the reader in from the first line. I feel that too much descriptive writing (I did not feel that I needed to know the file was leather "that was probably not leather", or the history of her desk) is not the best approach. If there had been more focus on her case and what it was about, that would have been more interesting. Had this been a longer book, the length of exposition would have been ok. We got to know what Ms Watson is like, but not who she is.
With more work, editing and additional chapters, I'm sure that this book will be a very entertaining read. As it stands now, it does need a lot of fine tuning to get it right for a short story. There are not many female detective stories that I can think of currently (some will probably come to me later on), so there is a market for this sort of book.
I strongly encourage Ms Tabassum to keep on working on this book. I can see her, and this book's potential, and I really do hope that there is another edition!
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews