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Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony
Why do you immediately click with some people while others just as inexplicably turn you off? Do people emit vibes? Is it possible to read a room? Are bad habits contagious?
Kate Murphy, author of the international bestseller You’re Not Listening, answers these and other fascinating questions in Why We Click, the first book that explores the emerging science and outsize impact of interpersonal synchrony, the most consequential social dynamic most people have never heard of. Interpersonal synchrony is the seemingly magical, yet now scientifically documented, tendency of human beings to fall into rhythm and find resonance with one another.
Not only do we subconsciously match one another’s movements, postures, facial expressions, and gestures; recent breakthroughs in technology have revealed we also sync up our heart rates, blood pressure, brainwaves, pupil dilation, and hormonal activity. The result is that emotions, moods, attitudes, and subsequent behaviors can be as infectious as any disease, and can have just as profound an impact on our health and well-being.
Interweaving science, philosophy, literature, history, business management theory, pop-culture, and plenty of relatable, real world examples, Why We Click explains why being “in sync,” “in tune,” “in step,” and “on the same wavelength” are more than just turns of phrase. From the bedroom to the boardroom and beyond, Murphy reveals with characteristic curiosity, concision, and wit how our instinct to sync with others drives much of our behavior and how our deepest desires—to be known, admired, loved, and connected—are so often thwarted in modern life.
Kate Murphy, author of the international bestseller You’re Not Listening, answers these and other fascinating questions in Why We Click, the first book that explores the emerging science and outsize impact of interpersonal synchrony, the most consequential social dynamic most people have never heard of. Interpersonal synchrony is the seemingly magical, yet now scientifically documented, tendency of human beings to fall into rhythm and find resonance with one another.
Not only do we subconsciously match one another’s movements, postures, facial expressions, and gestures; recent breakthroughs in technology have revealed we also sync up our heart rates, blood pressure, brainwaves, pupil dilation, and hormonal activity. The result is that emotions, moods, attitudes, and subsequent behaviors can be as infectious as any disease, and can have just as profound an impact on our health and well-being.
Interweaving science, philosophy, literature, history, business management theory, pop-culture, and plenty of relatable, real world examples, Why We Click explains why being “in sync,” “in tune,” “in step,” and “on the same wavelength” are more than just turns of phrase. From the bedroom to the boardroom and beyond, Murphy reveals with characteristic curiosity, concision, and wit how our instinct to sync with others drives much of our behavior and how our deepest desires—to be known, admired, loved, and connected—are so often thwarted in modern life.
313 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 27, 2026
50 people are currently reading
8917 people want to read
About the author
Kate Murphy
10 books308 followersJournalist Kate Murphy’s eclectic essays and articles for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, Agence France-Presse, and Texas Monthly have been shared and commented on by millions. She is known for her fresh and accessible style and ability to distill complex subjects, particularly the science behind human interactions. Her first book, You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters, was published in thirty-two languages and has become required reading in interpersonal communication courses at high schools, colleges, and universities worldwide. Kate lives in Houston, Texas, and holds a commercial pilot’s license.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
November 22, 2025
'How We Click' would be a more apt title.
This book is about interpersonal synchrony. I do not understand what interpersonal synchrony is. I do not think that the author does, either. But I think that this is fair, in that I do not think that anyone understands.
Loosely though, this is a book about group dynamics, and the power of individuals to shape those dynamics. It discusses several ways in which people look to use those dynamics to their advantage, whether dealing with one or a crowd of people.
There are studies or particular people who present interesting bits, specifically that are actionable. I love the term 'energy hygiene' and think it needs to be something more better understood. Probably the most passionate part of the book is when the author is discussing the malign uses of this sort of thing, specifically in terms of social media companies yanking the scholars for their own purposes. And there is no fault with the writing in general as a clear non-fiction book.
But in the replication crisis era, I am much more skeptical of a lot of these studies. In particular, I kept thinking of alternate interpretations: they think they proved X, but did they control for Y? The citation apparatus makes it difficult, and occasionally there are points where the author's interpretation of scholarship that I was more familiar with was off-base, in a manner that left me twitchy.
The book dips into active harm when it starts to get pseudoscientific. Let us leave it at quantum physics comes up. And periodically a character drifts into view who seems to me a charlatan or grifter, whom the author is credulous about because it affirms her science-y feeling.
The one-liner in the start is no quip. I was interested in this book because it sounded like this was something that was looking at the scholarship around that sense of 'click' that occurs between people. Instead, it is just as mysterious, but the sort of phenomenon that arise out of clicks and anti-clicks, as well as partial clicks, is described. The mystery remains mysterious.
My thanks to the author, Kate Murphy, for writing the book, and to the publisher, Celadon Books, for making the ARC available to me.
This book is about interpersonal synchrony. I do not understand what interpersonal synchrony is. I do not think that the author does, either. But I think that this is fair, in that I do not think that anyone understands.
Loosely though, this is a book about group dynamics, and the power of individuals to shape those dynamics. It discusses several ways in which people look to use those dynamics to their advantage, whether dealing with one or a crowd of people.
There are studies or particular people who present interesting bits, specifically that are actionable. I love the term 'energy hygiene' and think it needs to be something more better understood. Probably the most passionate part of the book is when the author is discussing the malign uses of this sort of thing, specifically in terms of social media companies yanking the scholars for their own purposes. And there is no fault with the writing in general as a clear non-fiction book.
But in the replication crisis era, I am much more skeptical of a lot of these studies. In particular, I kept thinking of alternate interpretations: they think they proved X, but did they control for Y? The citation apparatus makes it difficult, and occasionally there are points where the author's interpretation of scholarship that I was more familiar with was off-base, in a manner that left me twitchy.
The book dips into active harm when it starts to get pseudoscientific. Let us leave it at quantum physics comes up. And periodically a character drifts into view who seems to me a charlatan or grifter, whom the author is credulous about because it affirms her science-y feeling.
The one-liner in the start is no quip. I was interested in this book because it sounded like this was something that was looking at the scholarship around that sense of 'click' that occurs between people. Instead, it is just as mysterious, but the sort of phenomenon that arise out of clicks and anti-clicks, as well as partial clicks, is described. The mystery remains mysterious.
My thanks to the author, Kate Murphy, for writing the book, and to the publisher, Celadon Books, for making the ARC available to me.
January 21, 2026
This book is about interpersonal synchrony and the human nature to feel, observe and interpret what’s going on around us. The chapters covered elements of synchrony that I hadn’t thought about in detail before, and while the scientific understanding is still growing, it’s a fascinating topic to explore. I can easily think of people I either click with or not, but the feeling of why often feels allusive — this book explores those feelings, tendencies, and “read the room” type of skills that people experience when interacting with others.
November 30, 2025
I tend to not be a fan of books that tend to be categorized as self help books. They seem to lay out a step-by-step process of how you can improve yourself, implying often that you are somehow fundamentally broken and need fixing.
In both Why We Click and her preceding book, You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy utilizes a more psychological approach, making the reader aware of all these things hiding under the surface of our conscious awareness that help us learn more about human beings, and about how we can improve our interactions with others without wagging a finger or making the reader feel fundamentally lacking.
This makes her books so much more engaging and fascinating. Why We Click seems to be a little more jargon heavy than its predecessor, but yet easy enough for me to follow that it was still full of aha moments for me.
The classmates and coworkers I instantly disliked, explained. The physical toll a previous job took on my body, and the mental effects I’m still recovering from because of someone that was a bad apple, explained. The way my deceased mother served as the cement in multiple relationships and how they’ve fallen on harder times since she passed away, explained. Why I’ve never really liked remote work despite being an introvert, explained.
At no point does Murphy make me feel like there’s anything wrong with me. Instead I have a clarity about why something made me feel the way I did. Her research also helps serve as a roadmap for helping me manage others and not let people who are bad apples adversely affect me as much as possible, if I’m willing to take the time to recognize that I’m absorbing their emotions instead of experiencing them directly.
The concept of synchrony can seem kind of hokey headed into this book, but I would challenge anyone reading it not to acknowledge there may be a connection between what they’ve experienced and an explanation that makes perfect sense for it. Unless of course the experts on the subject matter have sucked you in to a tailored experience that convinces you to think otherwise (did you know they were up to something)?
Once again, a well-written, thought provoking book from Kate Murphy I feel I should go back and read periodically for creating self awareness and resetting my perspective.
A complimentary copy of this book was provided by the publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
In both Why We Click and her preceding book, You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy utilizes a more psychological approach, making the reader aware of all these things hiding under the surface of our conscious awareness that help us learn more about human beings, and about how we can improve our interactions with others without wagging a finger or making the reader feel fundamentally lacking.
This makes her books so much more engaging and fascinating. Why We Click seems to be a little more jargon heavy than its predecessor, but yet easy enough for me to follow that it was still full of aha moments for me.
The classmates and coworkers I instantly disliked, explained. The physical toll a previous job took on my body, and the mental effects I’m still recovering from because of someone that was a bad apple, explained. The way my deceased mother served as the cement in multiple relationships and how they’ve fallen on harder times since she passed away, explained. Why I’ve never really liked remote work despite being an introvert, explained.
At no point does Murphy make me feel like there’s anything wrong with me. Instead I have a clarity about why something made me feel the way I did. Her research also helps serve as a roadmap for helping me manage others and not let people who are bad apples adversely affect me as much as possible, if I’m willing to take the time to recognize that I’m absorbing their emotions instead of experiencing them directly.
The concept of synchrony can seem kind of hokey headed into this book, but I would challenge anyone reading it not to acknowledge there may be a connection between what they’ve experienced and an explanation that makes perfect sense for it. Unless of course the experts on the subject matter have sucked you in to a tailored experience that convinces you to think otherwise (did you know they were up to something)?
Once again, a well-written, thought provoking book from Kate Murphy I feel I should go back and read periodically for creating self awareness and resetting my perspective.
A complimentary copy of this book was provided by the publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
February 3, 2026
I avoid "self-help" books. That marketing label always makes me think of preachy books by authors who think they have all the answers, with a one-size-fits-all approach to "fixing" people. That's my own bias. But if you also have an aversion to that label, don't let it deter you from reading this book.
I absolutely loved Kate Murphy's previous book, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. If you haven't read it, you really should!
WHY WE CLICK is another winner.
The writing is conversational and engaging. No preachiness or overly drawn out scientific explanations.
The content is fascinating. I thought a lot about the energy I put out in the world and the ways in which it affects other people.
If you're curious why you automatically click with some people but are repelled by others, or what to do about that boss or family member who sucks the energy from you just by their proximity, this book is for you.
*Thanks to Celadon Books for the free copy!*
I absolutely loved Kate Murphy's previous book, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. If you haven't read it, you really should!
WHY WE CLICK is another winner.
The writing is conversational and engaging. No preachiness or overly drawn out scientific explanations.
The content is fascinating. I thought a lot about the energy I put out in the world and the ways in which it affects other people.
If you're curious why you automatically click with some people but are repelled by others, or what to do about that boss or family member who sucks the energy from you just by their proximity, this book is for you.
*Thanks to Celadon Books for the free copy!*
January 28, 2026
Why We Click delves into the Neuroscience behind synchronicity and relationships. at times, it was difficult to move past the science-specific jargon. however, the underlying message is pretty clear in each chapter. I would not call this book extremely accessible to all readers. however, if psychology Neuroscience biology is your thing. this is the book for you. I learned quite a lot about how being in sync with others looks but also the impact it can have on both groupthink but also on the individual.
February 4, 2026
Mostly about syncing and human interaction. Only one chapter near end about actual clicking itself. However the syncing interaction obviously explains some of it. so interesting and relevant in today’s world.
Read
December 30, 2025#16:
The Good
I. Food for thought: So many concepts like bad apple, frictionless economy and etc. The testament to this book is the number of thoughts I had while reading it. And the thoughts that it left me with.
II. Took a lot of notes
III. This book could have been even longer!
The Bad
I would have loved to see more about fighting bad apples and the different concepts.
Thoughts
I. Metaphysical:
How much is one on non-physical realm? How much is natural human disconnect with people? In what ways in nature vs nurture are we failed?
I want to look more into nature & us- how we synch and connect/disconnect.
How does global warming, hate, etc effect the earth? Does the earth affect us? Or how does the earth affect us?
II. Non-conforming/Synching:
How do we not conform to the bad apple? What about the good apple? Are you the bad apple? The part about bad apple individual that spoils the bunch as a heavy force is important to me. How do you not get sucked into a negativity vortex?
Are we paying attention to how we affect people and how they are affecting us? Can we change the fundamental vibe we give off to people?
The most empathetic synch the most with people.
Are we out of synch with each other? Is it easier to synch us together with hate?
The jarring feeling of constantly being out of synch with others when you are supposed to be in synch.
III. Energy of spaces:
What is my space saying to me?
What is the science of the vibes different spaces give? What is the science with movie theaters specifically? I have been thinking about movie theaters with all the netflix more than likely buying HBO chatter. I’ve been particularly thinking about the particular space that movie theaters occupy compared to stores.
bookstores vs libraries= libraries have way more seating than bookstores which has more seating than other stores. In general, all these spaces are designed to give you a different feeling. Stores I’ve read are designed to make you move around and buy. Bookstores are a cross between the library which is not meant to be buy buy buy so they have a lot of seating for people to sit. Since bookstores have books they have seating so you can sit for a second read then buy whatever book.
IV. It took me almost 50% to realize this but the author of this book wrote 233: You’re Not Listening a eye opening good book as well.
V. With the push for more things to be digital there is a level of death to physical skills. There are people who have natural skills that manifest in the non-digital space. If we are online 24/7 we lose these skills.
VI. Ability to access individual vs group emotions:
A. There is pros and cons to both sides of the seeing things through a individual or collective standpoint. It is better to be able to see things from both perspectives.
If you are individually minded can you have a vision for humanity?
There is a safety and danger to humanity not being in synch.
There is a danger to not being able to read a person’s vibes.
I wonder about synching from a social media aspect
VII. Capitalism & AI: So many companies are using our psychology against us which is not new thinking about it. It is so icky thinking about these people who are struggling financially and/or studywise using their degrees on the science they know about humans against humans.
Synching of humans vs sentient beings vs AI- With Living things there is a synching for harmony element vs AI when the synch seems like it is for submission. Living beings are in a constant flow of synching and unsynching from each other because we are living ever changing beings.
VIII. Book Recommendations (you probably could just click on all the nonfiction I’ve read since it seems like so many books about nature, Ai/robots, and psychology are attracted to me): Off the top of my head recs= You’re Not Listening
Fluke: Chance, Chaos, and Why Everything We Do Matters
The Weight of Nature: How a Changing Climate Changes Our Brains
IX. I listened to a major part of the audiobook while wrapping gifts for Christmas so thank you book for keeping me company!
I received Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony for free in exchange for my review from Celadon Books
The Good
I. Food for thought: So many concepts like bad apple, frictionless economy and etc. The testament to this book is the number of thoughts I had while reading it. And the thoughts that it left me with.
II. Took a lot of notes
III. This book could have been even longer!
The Bad
I would have loved to see more about fighting bad apples and the different concepts.
Thoughts
I. Metaphysical:
How much is one on non-physical realm? How much is natural human disconnect with people? In what ways in nature vs nurture are we failed?
I want to look more into nature & us- how we synch and connect/disconnect.
How does global warming, hate, etc effect the earth? Does the earth affect us? Or how does the earth affect us?
II. Non-conforming/Synching:
How do we not conform to the bad apple? What about the good apple? Are you the bad apple? The part about bad apple individual that spoils the bunch as a heavy force is important to me. How do you not get sucked into a negativity vortex?
Are we paying attention to how we affect people and how they are affecting us? Can we change the fundamental vibe we give off to people?
The most empathetic synch the most with people.
Are we out of synch with each other? Is it easier to synch us together with hate?
The jarring feeling of constantly being out of synch with others when you are supposed to be in synch.
III. Energy of spaces:
What is my space saying to me?
What is the science of the vibes different spaces give? What is the science with movie theaters specifically? I have been thinking about movie theaters with all the netflix more than likely buying HBO chatter. I’ve been particularly thinking about the particular space that movie theaters occupy compared to stores.
bookstores vs libraries= libraries have way more seating than bookstores which has more seating than other stores. In general, all these spaces are designed to give you a different feeling. Stores I’ve read are designed to make you move around and buy. Bookstores are a cross between the library which is not meant to be buy buy buy so they have a lot of seating for people to sit. Since bookstores have books they have seating so you can sit for a second read then buy whatever book.
IV. It took me almost 50% to realize this but the author of this book wrote 233: You’re Not Listening a eye opening good book as well.
V. With the push for more things to be digital there is a level of death to physical skills. There are people who have natural skills that manifest in the non-digital space. If we are online 24/7 we lose these skills.
VI. Ability to access individual vs group emotions:
A. There is pros and cons to both sides of the seeing things through a individual or collective standpoint. It is better to be able to see things from both perspectives.
If you are individually minded can you have a vision for humanity?
There is a safety and danger to humanity not being in synch.
There is a danger to not being able to read a person’s vibes.
I wonder about synching from a social media aspect
VII. Capitalism & AI: So many companies are using our psychology against us which is not new thinking about it. It is so icky thinking about these people who are struggling financially and/or studywise using their degrees on the science they know about humans against humans.
Synching of humans vs sentient beings vs AI- With Living things there is a synching for harmony element vs AI when the synch seems like it is for submission. Living beings are in a constant flow of synching and unsynching from each other because we are living ever changing beings.
VIII. Book Recommendations (you probably could just click on all the nonfiction I’ve read since it seems like so many books about nature, Ai/robots, and psychology are attracted to me): Off the top of my head recs= You’re Not Listening
Fluke: Chance, Chaos, and Why Everything We Do Matters
The Weight of Nature: How a Changing Climate Changes Our Brains
IX. I listened to a major part of the audiobook while wrapping gifts for Christmas so thank you book for keeping me company!
I received Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony for free in exchange for my review from Celadon Books
January 29, 2026
As humans, we can usually tell pretty quickly when we’re going to get along with someone else. Likewise, we can tell when the vibe is completely off and want to walk away. Journalist Kate Murphy took a deep dive into this phenomenon, interpersonal synchrony, and how it effects our lives.
Basically, interpersonal synchrony is the ability to connect with someone else. Research has shown that it’s not just mental. If we sync with someone, then it means that we will match heart rate, blood pressure, pupil dilation, even hormones. It’s a far more complicated connection that we had previously thought, and that means that we can use it to improve our connections and find deeper meaning in our relationships.
Tech companies hire individuals with doctorates in psychology to help us feel more connected to and through our social media accounts. Attorneys use psychodrama (a dramatic retelling of the incident that caused someone to hire an attorney) to connect with their clients, and they absolutely use their interpersonal skills to know if the jury is with them or not. Animal trainers use synchrony to connect with animals, like The Horse Whisperer, who teaches people how to connect with their animals instead of trying to control them.
From a psychiatrist trying to connect with someone suffering from a painful mental illness to fighter pilots learning to become one with their jet, understanding interpersonal synchrony can help you become a better person, a better partner, and a kinder soul. This is what causes chains of people to pay it forward in drive-thru lanes, paying for the order of the person behind them, causing the next person to want to the same and so on. This is why everyone tries to avoid the downer in the office and why the right emotional balance in a restaurant makes the experience feel like magic.
Why We Click looks into all of this and more. With interviews from a wide variety people who have researched some version of interpersonal synchrony, real-life stories, down-to-earth writing, and smart takeaways, Murphy offers up explanations on why some people draw us to them and others push us away as well as advice on how to become more or less synchronous, depending on what the situation needs.
I listened to Why We Click on audio, read by the author. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of listening to this book. It’s smart and entertaining, and since Murphy herself reads it, she doesn’t have to interpret any of the writing. She can just read it with her natural passion for the subject and the warmth that comes from understanding human connectivity.
I have a master’s degree in psychology, so this is a subject I’m naturally drawn to. But I think this is a book that could help anyone better understand their relationships. Reading it reminded me of the first time I read Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink, how that gave me insight into being a more successful human and how I wanted to tell everyone I knew to read the book. This is a book that could change your relationships, change your understanding of how you move through the world, and while it won’t solve all your problems, even your relationship problems, it might help you adjust your understanding enough to create some deeper connections.
Galleys for Why We Click were provided by Celadon Books, and a copy of the audio book was provided by Macmillan Audio through NetGalley, with many thanks, but the opinions are mine.
Basically, interpersonal synchrony is the ability to connect with someone else. Research has shown that it’s not just mental. If we sync with someone, then it means that we will match heart rate, blood pressure, pupil dilation, even hormones. It’s a far more complicated connection that we had previously thought, and that means that we can use it to improve our connections and find deeper meaning in our relationships.
Tech companies hire individuals with doctorates in psychology to help us feel more connected to and through our social media accounts. Attorneys use psychodrama (a dramatic retelling of the incident that caused someone to hire an attorney) to connect with their clients, and they absolutely use their interpersonal skills to know if the jury is with them or not. Animal trainers use synchrony to connect with animals, like The Horse Whisperer, who teaches people how to connect with their animals instead of trying to control them.
From a psychiatrist trying to connect with someone suffering from a painful mental illness to fighter pilots learning to become one with their jet, understanding interpersonal synchrony can help you become a better person, a better partner, and a kinder soul. This is what causes chains of people to pay it forward in drive-thru lanes, paying for the order of the person behind them, causing the next person to want to the same and so on. This is why everyone tries to avoid the downer in the office and why the right emotional balance in a restaurant makes the experience feel like magic.
Why We Click looks into all of this and more. With interviews from a wide variety people who have researched some version of interpersonal synchrony, real-life stories, down-to-earth writing, and smart takeaways, Murphy offers up explanations on why some people draw us to them and others push us away as well as advice on how to become more or less synchronous, depending on what the situation needs.
I listened to Why We Click on audio, read by the author. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of listening to this book. It’s smart and entertaining, and since Murphy herself reads it, she doesn’t have to interpret any of the writing. She can just read it with her natural passion for the subject and the warmth that comes from understanding human connectivity.
I have a master’s degree in psychology, so this is a subject I’m naturally drawn to. But I think this is a book that could help anyone better understand their relationships. Reading it reminded me of the first time I read Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink, how that gave me insight into being a more successful human and how I wanted to tell everyone I knew to read the book. This is a book that could change your relationships, change your understanding of how you move through the world, and while it won’t solve all your problems, even your relationship problems, it might help you adjust your understanding enough to create some deeper connections.
Galleys for Why We Click were provided by Celadon Books, and a copy of the audio book was provided by Macmillan Audio through NetGalley, with many thanks, but the opinions are mine.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
I received this book from a Goodreads giveaway.
That said, this book was an intriguing read, delving into how we form connections with people and even animals and objects in biological and neurological ways. Kate Murphy's writing style is informal and engaging, and while this is a scientific book, it is light enough where readers won't get lost or confused by jargon or abbreviations.
The book is a fast read, with most chapters being around ten or less physical pages, so you can easily get through it in a day. I would've preferred it to be longer, but, as Interpersonal Synchrony is a new science, there isn't going to be a ton of studies and multi-source evidence to flesh it out. Even so, I still think the book could have benefited from more embellishment from psychology, cardiology and neurology. Here's my short list of things that also affect a person's capability to sync and de-sync with others that weren't really touched on in the book:
Introversion and Extroversion: Obviously, this affects how often people interact with others and for how long. Do introverts have a more difficult time synchonizing with others, while extroverts reign supreme? Do extroverts tend to over-sync more, and if so, why or why not? Do introverts have a better way of monitoring their interaction impact on others due to increased introspection and isolation? Are introverts able to understand their effect on others' emotions better than extroverts? Do introverts lose the effects of synchrony faster than extroverts? Etc.
Personality: Every person is unique, and their experiences, upbringing, philosophies, beliefs, biases and inner baggage will affect who they connect and don't connect with, as well as how they'll connect with others. The book mentions that empaths are more likely to be an open conduit for synchrony, but then where does that place the rest of the population who aren't so empathetic? Does that mean they're at a lower capacity for synchrony? People connect with others in macro and micro ways regardless of empathy level and emotional intelligence every day--unless they're a hermit. What is the degree that empathy affects synchrony with others, and how often does it lead someone to over-sync or remain in a toxic connection? Does a person have to always be open, empathetic, kind and supportive in order to synchronize with others?
Jungian Psychology (or Analytical Psychology): The book mentions it in one sentence near the end and then never again. Perhaps the author didn't feel Jung's ideas fit, or that it possibly sounded too pseudoscience for her, but I believe that it should've been mentioned as an arguing point at least. The unconscious and even the subconscious in our brains influence how we interact with people and the world, and this would also affect how we synchronize with others. We are linked by evolutionary patterns, and these patterns help bring us closer as a species and affect how we interact with others. These patterns and the messages from our brain's inner spaces drive us and cause us to connect, react and progress. Even if Kate Murphy ixnayed on the spiritual side of Jungian Psychology dealing with synchronicities linking people and undergoing the process of individuation for inner healing, it still would've provided more fodder to bulk up what Interpersonal Synchrony is affected by.
That said, this book was an intriguing read, delving into how we form connections with people and even animals and objects in biological and neurological ways. Kate Murphy's writing style is informal and engaging, and while this is a scientific book, it is light enough where readers won't get lost or confused by jargon or abbreviations.
The book is a fast read, with most chapters being around ten or less physical pages, so you can easily get through it in a day. I would've preferred it to be longer, but, as Interpersonal Synchrony is a new science, there isn't going to be a ton of studies and multi-source evidence to flesh it out. Even so, I still think the book could have benefited from more embellishment from psychology, cardiology and neurology. Here's my short list of things that also affect a person's capability to sync and de-sync with others that weren't really touched on in the book:
Introversion and Extroversion: Obviously, this affects how often people interact with others and for how long. Do introverts have a more difficult time synchonizing with others, while extroverts reign supreme? Do extroverts tend to over-sync more, and if so, why or why not? Do introverts have a better way of monitoring their interaction impact on others due to increased introspection and isolation? Are introverts able to understand their effect on others' emotions better than extroverts? Do introverts lose the effects of synchrony faster than extroverts? Etc.
Personality: Every person is unique, and their experiences, upbringing, philosophies, beliefs, biases and inner baggage will affect who they connect and don't connect with, as well as how they'll connect with others. The book mentions that empaths are more likely to be an open conduit for synchrony, but then where does that place the rest of the population who aren't so empathetic? Does that mean they're at a lower capacity for synchrony? People connect with others in macro and micro ways regardless of empathy level and emotional intelligence every day--unless they're a hermit. What is the degree that empathy affects synchrony with others, and how often does it lead someone to over-sync or remain in a toxic connection? Does a person have to always be open, empathetic, kind and supportive in order to synchronize with others?
Jungian Psychology (or Analytical Psychology): The book mentions it in one sentence near the end and then never again. Perhaps the author didn't feel Jung's ideas fit, or that it possibly sounded too pseudoscience for her, but I believe that it should've been mentioned as an arguing point at least. The unconscious and even the subconscious in our brains influence how we interact with people and the world, and this would also affect how we synchronize with others. We are linked by evolutionary patterns, and these patterns help bring us closer as a species and affect how we interact with others. These patterns and the messages from our brain's inner spaces drive us and cause us to connect, react and progress. Even if Kate Murphy ixnayed on the spiritual side of Jungian Psychology dealing with synchronicities linking people and undergoing the process of individuation for inner healing, it still would've provided more fodder to bulk up what Interpersonal Synchrony is affected by.
December 19, 2025
Kate Murphy’s Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony is one of those books that makes you pause mid page and think, “Wait, I do that.” A lot. It is fascinating, sometimes dense, and very much rooted in behavioral science, but it is also packed with experiments and examples that feel genuinely eye opening rather than abstract or academic for the sake of it.
Murphy sets out to explain something most of us have felt but never had language for. That moment when conversation flows effortlessly, when you feel instantly comfortable with someone, or when a room seems to share a collective mood. She calls this interpersonal synchrony, the human tendency to fall into rhythm with one another. It turns out this goes far beyond mirroring posture or matching facial expressions. Thanks to newer technology, researchers have discovered that people also sync heart rates, blood pressure, brainwaves, pupil dilation, and even hormonal activity. Reading about this was both amazing and slightly unsettling, especially when Murphy shows how easily emotions and behaviors can spread from person to person.
The book leans heavily on studies and experiments, which I appreciated, even when I had to slow down and reread a section. Murphy describes lab experiments where strangers unconsciously fall into sync, workplace studies showing how team cohesion affects performance, and research on couples whose bodies literally move together over time. These examples make it hard to dismiss synchrony as just a poetic idea or a feel good metaphor.
What really keeps the book engaging is Murphy’s range. She weaves science together with philosophy, literature, pop culture, business theory, and everyday observations. One moment you are reading about neuroscience, and the next you are thinking about awkward Zoom calls or why certain conversations leave you energized while others drain you completely.
Overall, Why We Click is an interesting, thoughtful read that rewards patience. It is heavy on behavioral science, but it never feels pointless or dry. Instead, it quietly changes how you think about connection, influence, and why our deep desire to be known and understood can be so easily disrupted in modern life. I finished the book feeling more aware of how much we shape, and are shaped by, the people around us.
#WhyWeClick #NetGalley
Murphy sets out to explain something most of us have felt but never had language for. That moment when conversation flows effortlessly, when you feel instantly comfortable with someone, or when a room seems to share a collective mood. She calls this interpersonal synchrony, the human tendency to fall into rhythm with one another. It turns out this goes far beyond mirroring posture or matching facial expressions. Thanks to newer technology, researchers have discovered that people also sync heart rates, blood pressure, brainwaves, pupil dilation, and even hormonal activity. Reading about this was both amazing and slightly unsettling, especially when Murphy shows how easily emotions and behaviors can spread from person to person.
The book leans heavily on studies and experiments, which I appreciated, even when I had to slow down and reread a section. Murphy describes lab experiments where strangers unconsciously fall into sync, workplace studies showing how team cohesion affects performance, and research on couples whose bodies literally move together over time. These examples make it hard to dismiss synchrony as just a poetic idea or a feel good metaphor.
What really keeps the book engaging is Murphy’s range. She weaves science together with philosophy, literature, pop culture, business theory, and everyday observations. One moment you are reading about neuroscience, and the next you are thinking about awkward Zoom calls or why certain conversations leave you energized while others drain you completely.
Overall, Why We Click is an interesting, thoughtful read that rewards patience. It is heavy on behavioral science, but it never feels pointless or dry. Instead, it quietly changes how you think about connection, influence, and why our deep desire to be known and understood can be so easily disrupted in modern life. I finished the book feeling more aware of how much we shape, and are shaped by, the people around us.
#WhyWeClick #NetGalley
January 30, 2026
Why We Click
- From the author of one of my favorite books ‘You’re Not Listening’
- Vibes, body language, tone
- We mimic each other
- We make first impressions
- The Maya Angelou quote ‘people won’t remember what you said or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel’
- Speed dating
- Zoom fatigue and the challenges of connecting virtually
- A bad apple (negative person) can ruin the entire vibe of a group. One negative person can affect an entire work place
- Synchronized body movements; Islamic prayer, morning yoga at work, Tony Robbins seminars. Groups that do a collective movement have a closer bond
- We instinctively follow the beat. House music is set close to the human heart beat. Walking down the street people will fall into the same walking pattern as others
- The comedy cellar table, physical distance and intimacy, restaurant and room design
- Emotional aperture - the ability to read the room. See the vibe, energy, and synchronicity of the room. Macro level syncing
- Jury selection
- Quantum theory
- Mirror neurons
- That feeling you get that something is wrong and call that person - a sort of telepathy
- People’s walking pace. Singapore is the quickest city - I forgot what the numbers were
- Service dog, animals, nature - the synchronicity of the universe
- Attachment to fictional characters
- Some researchers think that the reason we are so attached to Shakespeare is because iambic pentameter is the same rhythm that the human heart beats (factoring the chambers)
- Fighter pilots and synching with their plane
- The loneliness epidemic, the disconnection of working from home
- The constant need to be busy and disconnection from friends
- I enjoyed this book and it was well written. It is hard to top her first book but this is still a wonderful read
- It was written is a Gladwell like way. Pulling connections, stories, and interviews from a myriad of places to form a synchronistic story.
- From the author of one of my favorite books ‘You’re Not Listening’
- Vibes, body language, tone
- We mimic each other
- We make first impressions
- The Maya Angelou quote ‘people won’t remember what you said or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel’
- Speed dating
- Zoom fatigue and the challenges of connecting virtually
- A bad apple (negative person) can ruin the entire vibe of a group. One negative person can affect an entire work place
- Synchronized body movements; Islamic prayer, morning yoga at work, Tony Robbins seminars. Groups that do a collective movement have a closer bond
- We instinctively follow the beat. House music is set close to the human heart beat. Walking down the street people will fall into the same walking pattern as others
- The comedy cellar table, physical distance and intimacy, restaurant and room design
- Emotional aperture - the ability to read the room. See the vibe, energy, and synchronicity of the room. Macro level syncing
- Jury selection
- Quantum theory
- Mirror neurons
- That feeling you get that something is wrong and call that person - a sort of telepathy
- People’s walking pace. Singapore is the quickest city - I forgot what the numbers were
- Service dog, animals, nature - the synchronicity of the universe
- Attachment to fictional characters
- Some researchers think that the reason we are so attached to Shakespeare is because iambic pentameter is the same rhythm that the human heart beats (factoring the chambers)
- Fighter pilots and synching with their plane
- The loneliness epidemic, the disconnection of working from home
- The constant need to be busy and disconnection from friends
- I enjoyed this book and it was well written. It is hard to top her first book but this is still a wonderful read
- It was written is a Gladwell like way. Pulling connections, stories, and interviews from a myriad of places to form a synchronistic story.
February 4, 2026
I went into this book completely blind and didn’t read the synopsis beforehand. At first, I honestly thought it was going to be focused on why we click on certain things online or how digital behavior shapes our decisions. I was partly wrong because it’s that but so much more.
This book turned out to be much more about human behavior, perception, and connection. It dives deep into how we read a room, how we read people, and how the way we present ourselves can influence situations in ways that are either positive or damaging. It really made me stop and think about how much energy, attitude, and body language matter, even when we don’t realize we’re putting anything out there.
One of the biggest takeaways for me (and probably the most obvious, but still powerful) is that one bad apple truly can ruin the bunch. A single negative attitude can bleed into everything, coworkers, family, relationships, and entire environments. The book does a great job explaining how negativity spreads and why it’s so important to be aware of the impact we have on others.
Another takeaway I appreciated was the reminder that you’re not for everyone and that’s okay. No matter how kind, personable, or well intentioned you are, there will always be someone who doesn’t connect with you. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. That perspective alone was refreshing and grounding.
It’s clear that an incredible amount of research went into this book. There’s a lot of information to absorb, and at times it can feel dense, but it’s packed with insight and practical observations that stick with you long after you finish reading. Overall, this was an unexpectedly thoughtful and informative read that gave me plenty to reflect on about how I show up in the world and how I interpret the people around me.
This book turned out to be much more about human behavior, perception, and connection. It dives deep into how we read a room, how we read people, and how the way we present ourselves can influence situations in ways that are either positive or damaging. It really made me stop and think about how much energy, attitude, and body language matter, even when we don’t realize we’re putting anything out there.
One of the biggest takeaways for me (and probably the most obvious, but still powerful) is that one bad apple truly can ruin the bunch. A single negative attitude can bleed into everything, coworkers, family, relationships, and entire environments. The book does a great job explaining how negativity spreads and why it’s so important to be aware of the impact we have on others.
Another takeaway I appreciated was the reminder that you’re not for everyone and that’s okay. No matter how kind, personable, or well intentioned you are, there will always be someone who doesn’t connect with you. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. That perspective alone was refreshing and grounding.
It’s clear that an incredible amount of research went into this book. There’s a lot of information to absorb, and at times it can feel dense, but it’s packed with insight and practical observations that stick with you long after you finish reading. Overall, this was an unexpectedly thoughtful and informative read that gave me plenty to reflect on about how I show up in the world and how I interpret the people around me.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Why We Click by Kate Murphy is an accessible, modern exploration of human connection. I finished it feeling more aware of how often, and how unconsciously, I move in rhythm with the people and environments around me.
The book is an easy read for a science-leaning work and is filled with ideas that feel immediately relevant. Rather than presenting dense theory, Murphy relies on real-world examples to give language to patterns many of us already recognize in relationships and social life. It felt less like discovering something entirely new and more like having long-held intuitions articulated and validated. What stood out most to me was how much the book encouraged reflection. It made me think about who I sync with, how that affects my emotional state, and how this dynamic extends beyond in-person interactions into digital spaces and the content we consume every day. I found myself becoming more aware of how easily moods, attitudes, and energy can transfer between people, both offline and online. That said, readers who prefer rigorous academic research may not enjoy this as much. The book prioritizes insight and accessibility over methodological depth, and those looking for tightly structured studies or heavily cited analysis may find it lacking.
This is not a prescriptive or self-optimization book. Instead, it invites awareness and attentiveness. Murphy’s writing is thoughtful, curious, and approachable, making this a timely and reflective read for those interested in human connection in a modern, highly mediated world.
I would recommend Why We Click to readers who are open to ideas that sit at the intersection of science, observation, and cultural commentary.
Publishing Date: January 27, 2026
Thank you to Celadon Books for the ARC.
The book is an easy read for a science-leaning work and is filled with ideas that feel immediately relevant. Rather than presenting dense theory, Murphy relies on real-world examples to give language to patterns many of us already recognize in relationships and social life. It felt less like discovering something entirely new and more like having long-held intuitions articulated and validated. What stood out most to me was how much the book encouraged reflection. It made me think about who I sync with, how that affects my emotional state, and how this dynamic extends beyond in-person interactions into digital spaces and the content we consume every day. I found myself becoming more aware of how easily moods, attitudes, and energy can transfer between people, both offline and online. That said, readers who prefer rigorous academic research may not enjoy this as much. The book prioritizes insight and accessibility over methodological depth, and those looking for tightly structured studies or heavily cited analysis may find it lacking.
This is not a prescriptive or self-optimization book. Instead, it invites awareness and attentiveness. Murphy’s writing is thoughtful, curious, and approachable, making this a timely and reflective read for those interested in human connection in a modern, highly mediated world.
I would recommend Why We Click to readers who are open to ideas that sit at the intersection of science, observation, and cultural commentary.
Publishing Date: January 27, 2026
Thank you to Celadon Books for the ARC.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Book review - Non-Fiction - Psychology - Self Help - Science
I just finished Why We Click by Kate Murphy and here are my musings!
Did you know that subconsciously we mirror people's tone, mannerism, postures and more when we are communicating? I knew this. It’s a sales tactic we were taught. Mirror the customer and they feel more at ease and familiar with you that they will automatically trust you.
That’s the surface part.. Did you know that we also sync our blood pressure, moods, brainwaves and heart rates as well? COLOR ME BLOWN AWAY. I had no dang idea and this book clued me right in and I found myself learning more and more.
This book was truly fascinating. The book was clear and easy to follow. Nothing overtly complicated and it was a super interesting read. The topics covered… Things like relationships in a social setting, working remotely all with real life offerings makes everything more relatable.
Have you ever wondered why some connections feel right and others don’t? This book will give you the insight you always wondered about but never actually asked outloud.
I don’t read a lot of self-help books, they tend to lean towards a certain type of person but I actually really enjoyed this book and ended up lending it to my husband who is basically a social pariah and he understood some things about himself that he put into action.
If you are looking into the psychology of how to understand social bonds then this book is one to look for!
4 stars
Thank you to @celadonbooks for my gifted copy.
Out 27th January 2026
#celadonbooks #bookblog #readersofig #booksbooksbooks #readingallday
I just finished Why We Click by Kate Murphy and here are my musings!
Did you know that subconsciously we mirror people's tone, mannerism, postures and more when we are communicating? I knew this. It’s a sales tactic we were taught. Mirror the customer and they feel more at ease and familiar with you that they will automatically trust you.
That’s the surface part.. Did you know that we also sync our blood pressure, moods, brainwaves and heart rates as well? COLOR ME BLOWN AWAY. I had no dang idea and this book clued me right in and I found myself learning more and more.
This book was truly fascinating. The book was clear and easy to follow. Nothing overtly complicated and it was a super interesting read. The topics covered… Things like relationships in a social setting, working remotely all with real life offerings makes everything more relatable.
Have you ever wondered why some connections feel right and others don’t? This book will give you the insight you always wondered about but never actually asked outloud.
I don’t read a lot of self-help books, they tend to lean towards a certain type of person but I actually really enjoyed this book and ended up lending it to my husband who is basically a social pariah and he understood some things about himself that he put into action.
If you are looking into the psychology of how to understand social bonds then this book is one to look for!
4 stars
Thank you to @celadonbooks for my gifted copy.
Out 27th January 2026
#celadonbooks #bookblog #readersofig #booksbooksbooks #readingallday
January 27, 2026
Even when the subject is interesting, non-fiction can be overwhelming, difficult to understand, dull, dry and full of words we need to look up. From its title, and even its description to a degree, Why We Click, The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony, by author Kate Murphy seems like it might be like that, another piece of non-fiction that has you jumping from the text to the dictionary to the footnotes. A topic that grabs your interest but a lot of work to plow through.
Well, let me assure you that Why We Click is nothing like that. Instead, it’s fascinating. Smoothly paced, almost conversational in tone, drawing on easy to relate to examples. At first you’ll be skeptical at the very concept of interpersonal synchrony, then you’ll jump fully on board, then as you keep reading you’ll question, accept, question again . . . draw your own conclusions. It’s a perfect book club book, full of topics and theories that beg for discussion and debate.
I received an advance copy of Why We Click from Celadon Books via NetGalley. It’s engaging and thought-provoking, easy to read and will stay with you long after you’ve finished. Another example of the amazing variety of fiction and non-fiction that Celadon Books seeks out and publishes. A carefully curated collection of books on a wide range of topics, guaranteed to keep your attention and always satisfy. I am happy to be a Celadon Reader. I enjoyed reading and discussing Why We Click, recommend it without hesitation and eagerly await whatever Celadon publishes next. I voluntarily leave this review; all opinions are my own.
Well, let me assure you that Why We Click is nothing like that. Instead, it’s fascinating. Smoothly paced, almost conversational in tone, drawing on easy to relate to examples. At first you’ll be skeptical at the very concept of interpersonal synchrony, then you’ll jump fully on board, then as you keep reading you’ll question, accept, question again . . . draw your own conclusions. It’s a perfect book club book, full of topics and theories that beg for discussion and debate.
I received an advance copy of Why We Click from Celadon Books via NetGalley. It’s engaging and thought-provoking, easy to read and will stay with you long after you’ve finished. Another example of the amazing variety of fiction and non-fiction that Celadon Books seeks out and publishes. A carefully curated collection of books on a wide range of topics, guaranteed to keep your attention and always satisfy. I am happy to be a Celadon Reader. I enjoyed reading and discussing Why We Click, recommend it without hesitation and eagerly await whatever Celadon publishes next. I voluntarily leave this review; all opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony
by Kate Murphy
Narrated by Kate Murphy
Publish date January 27. 2026
I requested this book because I like non-fiction books and learning new ideas. Also, like a crow, I am attracted shiny new things and this book is 2026 publication. I requested it in 2025 excited all about the coming year.
Later on when the excitement subsided, I regretted my decision. I have read plenty of very dry, very boring non-fiction books. This book cover looked like one of those books. "Why We Click," well, who cares?? As it turns out, I do! The audiobook is expertly narrated by its author, a journalist who specializes interpersonal communication and an author of a best selling book, "You're Not Listening." I haven't read her previous book, but after listening to this audiobook, I am now interested in checking out her backstock.
This book explores how we "click" with our environment - sometimes with other human and sometimes with animals and inanimate objects. I have had many occasions like this and found the contents fascinating. This book is approachable and fascinating. It would appeal to general audience - regardless if you are a fan of non-fiction books or not.
I would recommend this book to fan of Freakeconomics. And people who are scared of non-fiction books. This book is highly entertaining and not too long, and everyone would be familiar with the topic.
An advanced copy of this audiobook was provided courtesy of NetGalley and Macmillan Audio. Thank you! Opinions stated herein are my own.
by Kate Murphy
Narrated by Kate Murphy
Publish date January 27. 2026
I requested this book because I like non-fiction books and learning new ideas. Also, like a crow, I am attracted shiny new things and this book is 2026 publication. I requested it in 2025 excited all about the coming year.
Later on when the excitement subsided, I regretted my decision. I have read plenty of very dry, very boring non-fiction books. This book cover looked like one of those books. "Why We Click," well, who cares?? As it turns out, I do! The audiobook is expertly narrated by its author, a journalist who specializes interpersonal communication and an author of a best selling book, "You're Not Listening." I haven't read her previous book, but after listening to this audiobook, I am now interested in checking out her backstock.
This book explores how we "click" with our environment - sometimes with other human and sometimes with animals and inanimate objects. I have had many occasions like this and found the contents fascinating. This book is approachable and fascinating. It would appeal to general audience - regardless if you are a fan of non-fiction books or not.
I would recommend this book to fan of Freakeconomics. And people who are scared of non-fiction books. This book is highly entertaining and not too long, and everyone would be familiar with the topic.
An advanced copy of this audiobook was provided courtesy of NetGalley and Macmillan Audio. Thank you! Opinions stated herein are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
I read about half of this book before going to a yoga class, during the class I realized just how in sync we all were at the moment, everyone may be at a different level in their practice but when we got into a flow the air was electric. It made the moment more powerful to me because I was able to put what I was relate to what I was reading.
*
When someone experiences interpersonal synchrony you subconsciously match movements, postures, gestures, etc. It has been noted that heart beats, blood pressure, brain waves, etc also all sync up which to me is quite interesting.
*
One of my favorite chapters was about when you relate to your animal; there was actually a part that made me laugh 'cause I will talk to my dog in full sentences, not just simple words. I learned that she does like to listen and doesn't fully understand what I'm saying but she will respond correctly to what I am trying to get across to her.
*
When I was in college I went to take a psychology class but the professor and I did not match up well, so I dropped out, a year later I took it with a different professor and we hit it off just fine, by reading this book it actually made me realize that what I was feeling in the moment in the original professors class was actually a valid feeling.
*
This was an entertaining book that satisfied my scientific side while also validating my "people watching" side.
*
When someone experiences interpersonal synchrony you subconsciously match movements, postures, gestures, etc. It has been noted that heart beats, blood pressure, brain waves, etc also all sync up which to me is quite interesting.
*
One of my favorite chapters was about when you relate to your animal; there was actually a part that made me laugh 'cause I will talk to my dog in full sentences, not just simple words. I learned that she does like to listen and doesn't fully understand what I'm saying but she will respond correctly to what I am trying to get across to her.
*
When I was in college I went to take a psychology class but the professor and I did not match up well, so I dropped out, a year later I took it with a different professor and we hit it off just fine, by reading this book it actually made me realize that what I was feeling in the moment in the original professors class was actually a valid feeling.
*
This was an entertaining book that satisfied my scientific side while also validating my "people watching" side.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
This book was a bit of a letdown for me. As interested as I was to request an ARC, the information presented here could have easily been condensed down to an article. Some of the anecdotes were interesting, but there wasn't enough data here to make it a worthwhile book.
The audiobook narration by the author kept me going, but I kept thinking "sinking" every time she said "syncing" and I heard the word "vibes" far too many times than I would've liked. There was also not enough information from the author as to her background and expertise at the start, so I kept wondering why I should trust any of the information she presented.
Overlooking those things, I didn't feel like the studies that were presented had enough information on WHY we actually click. My overall takeaway is that we click/sync with others physiologically sometimes, and other times not. It's new science and we don't really know why we fundamentally click with some people more than others. I didn't need several hundred pages to get to that point.
I think this book definitely has an audience, but it wasn't for me, unfortunately.
Thanks to the publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
The audiobook narration by the author kept me going, but I kept thinking "sinking" every time she said "syncing" and I heard the word "vibes" far too many times than I would've liked. There was also not enough information from the author as to her background and expertise at the start, so I kept wondering why I should trust any of the information she presented.
Overlooking those things, I didn't feel like the studies that were presented had enough information on WHY we actually click. My overall takeaway is that we click/sync with others physiologically sometimes, and other times not. It's new science and we don't really know why we fundamentally click with some people more than others. I didn't need several hundred pages to get to that point.
I think this book definitely has an audience, but it wasn't for me, unfortunately.
Thanks to the publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
**ARC REVIEW**
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Why We Click is a fascinating exploration of why we naturally connect with some people while feeling disconnected from others. I really enjoyed the psychology and science behind interpersonal synchrony, and Kate Murphy explains complex ideas in a way that feels clear, engaging, and relatable.
Murphy discusses topics such as social relationships, loneliness, and remote work, weaving in studies and real-life examples that make the science easy to understand. What stood out to me most was how this book encourages readers to reflect on their own interactions and better understand why certain connections feel comfortable while others don’t.
As someone who isn’t much of a “people person,” I appreciated how this book helped me understand why I form deep connections with only a few individuals and why absorbing others’ emotions can feel draining. Why We Click gave me insight into those experiences and how interpersonal synchrony plays a role in them.
Overall, this is a thoughtful and insightful self-help book that offers a deeper understanding of human connection. I would definitely recommend it to anyone interested in psychology, relationships, or personal growth.
Thank you to Kate Murphy, NetGalley, and Celadon Books for the ARC.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Why We Click is a fascinating exploration of why we naturally connect with some people while feeling disconnected from others. I really enjoyed the psychology and science behind interpersonal synchrony, and Kate Murphy explains complex ideas in a way that feels clear, engaging, and relatable.
Murphy discusses topics such as social relationships, loneliness, and remote work, weaving in studies and real-life examples that make the science easy to understand. What stood out to me most was how this book encourages readers to reflect on their own interactions and better understand why certain connections feel comfortable while others don’t.
As someone who isn’t much of a “people person,” I appreciated how this book helped me understand why I form deep connections with only a few individuals and why absorbing others’ emotions can feel draining. Why We Click gave me insight into those experiences and how interpersonal synchrony plays a role in them.
Overall, this is a thoughtful and insightful self-help book that offers a deeper understanding of human connection. I would definitely recommend it to anyone interested in psychology, relationships, or personal growth.
Thank you to Kate Murphy, NetGalley, and Celadon Books for the ARC.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This was an interesting and very approachable read that gave me a lot of aha moments about why I feel comfortable with some people and not with others. Murphy breaks down the different ways we “click” — not just with individuals, but also with groups, audiences, and even service animals — which made the topic feel broad and surprisingly practical.
Roughly a third of the book is dedicated to references, which reassured me that this is firmly science-based without ever feeling dry or overly academic. The writing is clear and engaging, and the concepts are easy to apply to everyday life.
I’m glad I read this because it gave me a new awareness of my own social instincts. I especially appreciated the tone. I didn’t love Murphy’s previous book You’re Not Listening because it focused heavily on what people are doing wrong without offering enough guidance on how to do better. Why We Click feels much more positive, curious, and affirming even though I would have liked more advice on how to connect with others.
A thoughtful, insightful read for anyone interested in human connection and why some relationships feel effortless while others don’t.
Thanks to Celadon and Netgalley for the eARC.
Roughly a third of the book is dedicated to references, which reassured me that this is firmly science-based without ever feeling dry or overly academic. The writing is clear and engaging, and the concepts are easy to apply to everyday life.
I’m glad I read this because it gave me a new awareness of my own social instincts. I especially appreciated the tone. I didn’t love Murphy’s previous book You’re Not Listening because it focused heavily on what people are doing wrong without offering enough guidance on how to do better. Why We Click feels much more positive, curious, and affirming even though I would have liked more advice on how to connect with others.
A thoughtful, insightful read for anyone interested in human connection and why some relationships feel effortless while others don’t.
Thanks to Celadon and Netgalley for the eARC.
January 27, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Why We Click
Author: Kate Murphy
Source: Celadon ARC
Publication Date: January 27, 2026
NON-FICTION
RELATIONSHIPS
SELF HELP
Why We Click is an insightful looks at interpersonal relationships and why we “connect” to some people and why we “disconnect” from others. Based on scientific research this book is anything but boring. In fact, I would make it required reading for students, teachers, and anyone who regularly deals with the public especially those who market products.
This book educates through the use of outstanding tools for fostering deeper connections. These tools, when understood, can help cultivate a better sense of well-being in your home, social, and workplace environments.
Yes, science is discussed. But the first 100 pages are going to change your way of thinking and make you finish the book. I highly recommend and hope you will add it to your TBR.
#WhyWeClick
@Celadon
#Bookstagram
#TBR
#BookReviewer
#KateMurphy
I received a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Thank you to the publisher, @Netgalley, and the author for the opportunity to read this novel.
Why We Click
Author: Kate Murphy
Source: Celadon ARC
Publication Date: January 27, 2026
NON-FICTION
RELATIONSHIPS
SELF HELP
Why We Click is an insightful looks at interpersonal relationships and why we “connect” to some people and why we “disconnect” from others. Based on scientific research this book is anything but boring. In fact, I would make it required reading for students, teachers, and anyone who regularly deals with the public especially those who market products.
This book educates through the use of outstanding tools for fostering deeper connections. These tools, when understood, can help cultivate a better sense of well-being in your home, social, and workplace environments.
Yes, science is discussed. But the first 100 pages are going to change your way of thinking and make you finish the book. I highly recommend and hope you will add it to your TBR.
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I received a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Thank you to the publisher, @Netgalley, and the author for the opportunity to read this novel.
January 22, 2026
I'm walking away from this book with the words to put to feelings and musings I've had for years about the importance of interpersonal relationships, particularly in-person experiences instead of virtual experiences. The author did a great job of building the foundation in understanding interpersonal synchrony - what it is, how it works, and how it manifests in our bodies and minds. I spent much of the beginning thinking about what this would mean for our increasingly digitally-based lives, and was glad when later chapters tackled social media and the increasing use of neuroscience to keep us in the digital sphere, influencer culture, and virtual work & community environments. The idea of "productive struggle," or "friction" as this author put it, has come up quite a bit in learning science lately with the increasing use of AI and this book raises the stakes with the point that a lack of friction is hindering our syncing and increasing our loneliness. Overall, this was a very compelling read to begin delving into this emerging field.
January 28, 2026
What is interpersonal synchrony and why does it even matter?
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘞𝘦 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 is a science-based nonfiction great for personal enrichment in understanding how we connect to others as a collective whole. Key concepts like social contagion, affective presence, and projective identification are covered in detail with examples from real life scenarios. I also learned that under-synching as well as over-synching can be detrimental to one’s overall physical and mental wellbeing. And that in finding a sweet balance between the two is optimal.
My takeaway from it all is that the world prefers conformity over individuality. It is through coordinated behaviors can people benefit from social connection, empathy, and feeling accepted. Personally for me, I would prefer to maintain good energy hygiene and synch to a much smaller intimate group with the same shared beliefs. Because in the Joan-Jen dichotomy, I am more a Jen.
Overall an edifying read that is both thought-provoking and invaluable.
Thank you Celadon books and Netgalley for the digital reader copy in exchange for a fair review.
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘞𝘦 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 is a science-based nonfiction great for personal enrichment in understanding how we connect to others as a collective whole. Key concepts like social contagion, affective presence, and projective identification are covered in detail with examples from real life scenarios. I also learned that under-synching as well as over-synching can be detrimental to one’s overall physical and mental wellbeing. And that in finding a sweet balance between the two is optimal.
My takeaway from it all is that the world prefers conformity over individuality. It is through coordinated behaviors can people benefit from social connection, empathy, and feeling accepted. Personally for me, I would prefer to maintain good energy hygiene and synch to a much smaller intimate group with the same shared beliefs. Because in the Joan-Jen dichotomy, I am more a Jen.
Overall an edifying read that is both thought-provoking and invaluable.
Thank you Celadon books and Netgalley for the digital reader copy in exchange for a fair review.
January 27, 2026
My whole life, I've been really, really good at reading people pretty much immediately. I know I'm not the only one who can do that, we all do it to a degree, but I've always had a really fine-tuned talent for it- but I never knew why. This book dives into so many different scientific explanations for this phenomenon that we all experience to varying degrees {whether we consciously notice it or not} and it feels very validating to see the actual facts behind it!
If you've ever wondered why someone you just met gives you the ick or how you can leave an event with a new bestfriend you feel super close to already, this is a great book for you. It's scientific but not dry, and it doesn't lose you in jargon.
I enjoyed this book and will likely refer back to it when I find myself in social situations that I want to look a little more closely at my response to.
Thank you to Celadon Books for the ARC!
If you've ever wondered why someone you just met gives you the ick or how you can leave an event with a new bestfriend you feel super close to already, this is a great book for you. It's scientific but not dry, and it doesn't lose you in jargon.
I enjoyed this book and will likely refer back to it when I find myself in social situations that I want to look a little more closely at my response to.
Thank you to Celadon Books for the ARC!
January 16, 2026
Why We Click is a deeply interesting and thought-provoking exploration of how humans connect with one another and why some interactions feel effortless while others feel draining or tense.
Kate Murphy examines the science behind interpersonal synchrony: the subtle ways people mirror, align, and emotionally attune to one another in conversations, teams, and relationships. Through research, interviews, and real-world examples, she shows how connection isn’t just about chemistry or personality, but about shared rhythms, attention, and mutual responsiveness.
What stood out most to me was how much this book made me reflect on team dynamics I’ve experienced. Murphy’s discussion of synchrony really highlighted the impact that a single person can have on a group, for better or worse. It made me think about how the presence of a “bad apple” can completely shift a team’s culture, energy, and effectiveness, and how noticeably different those same environments feel when that person is no longer part of the group.
The book balances science with storytelling very well. While it’s grounded in research, it never feels overly technical, and Murphy does an excellent job making complex ideas accessible and relevant to everyday life. I found myself constantly connecting the concepts back to my own experiences at work and in group settings.
Overall, this is a book that quietly changes the way you observe people and interactions. If you’re interested in psychology, communication, leadership, or understanding why certain relationships just work while others don’t, Why We Click is a fascinating and worthwhile read.
Thank you to Celadon Books for an ARC of this book!
Kate Murphy examines the science behind interpersonal synchrony: the subtle ways people mirror, align, and emotionally attune to one another in conversations, teams, and relationships. Through research, interviews, and real-world examples, she shows how connection isn’t just about chemistry or personality, but about shared rhythms, attention, and mutual responsiveness.
What stood out most to me was how much this book made me reflect on team dynamics I’ve experienced. Murphy’s discussion of synchrony really highlighted the impact that a single person can have on a group, for better or worse. It made me think about how the presence of a “bad apple” can completely shift a team’s culture, energy, and effectiveness, and how noticeably different those same environments feel when that person is no longer part of the group.
The book balances science with storytelling very well. While it’s grounded in research, it never feels overly technical, and Murphy does an excellent job making complex ideas accessible and relevant to everyday life. I found myself constantly connecting the concepts back to my own experiences at work and in group settings.
Overall, this is a book that quietly changes the way you observe people and interactions. If you’re interested in psychology, communication, leadership, or understanding why certain relationships just work while others don’t, Why We Click is a fascinating and worthwhile read.
Thank you to Celadon Books for an ARC of this book!
October 27, 2025
One of the major problems today (in my opinion) is that people are not connecting anymore. Every relationship seems transactional; individuals are looked at from the perspective of a 'means to an end' in a way that is hard to hide. Kate Murphy shows us why this is a 'trap' - we have to make an effort to connect with others if we want to live life in a more meaningful way. By showing that IS is a way to connect in a deeper (and more beneficial) way we see the benefits that ripple out into society. This is even more the case in a democracy; so much of the political polarization we see today is because we will not connect with our fellow citizens. It is impossible to relate to someone if you refuse to meet then on the bridge of compromise that democracy represents. Highest recommendation!
November 14, 2025
Maybe it's just the sociology/psychology nerd part of me, but I absolutely DEVOURED this book!
Learning about interpersonal synchrony and the neurobiological responses to human interaction was absolutely fascinating to me. A lot of things discussed in this book I already knew, whether from college courses or just innately, but a lot of it I did not know!
I actually wrote down "energy hygiene" because I had never heard of that concept before, and I want to implement better energy hygiene personally after learning about it and the benefits.
Definitely recommend to anyone who wants to understand how interpersonal synchrony works and how to implement better strategies when relating to other people.
Learning about interpersonal synchrony and the neurobiological responses to human interaction was absolutely fascinating to me. A lot of things discussed in this book I already knew, whether from college courses or just innately, but a lot of it I did not know!
I actually wrote down "energy hygiene" because I had never heard of that concept before, and I want to implement better energy hygiene personally after learning about it and the benefits.
Definitely recommend to anyone who wants to understand how interpersonal synchrony works and how to implement better strategies when relating to other people.
December 22, 2025
Why We Click is a smart, approachable look at why we vibe easily with some people and not others. Kate Murphy explores interpersonal synchrony, group dynamics, and modern issues like loneliness and remote work in a way that feels clear and relatable.
The book guides readers through research, real-life examples, and practical takeaways. Some sections get a bit research-heavy, but there are plenty of actionable insights that make you think differently about conversations and social dynamics. Overall, it’s a thoughtful, eye-opening read for anyone curious about psychology and human connection.
The book guides readers through research, real-life examples, and practical takeaways. Some sections get a bit research-heavy, but there are plenty of actionable insights that make you think differently about conversations and social dynamics. Overall, it’s a thoughtful, eye-opening read for anyone curious about psychology and human connection.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Why We Click by Kate Murphy is a thought provoking look at why we get those instant gut reactions to certain people. I found the book well written and easy to follow. The topic is rooted in psychology, which is a genre I enjoy.
What I appreciated most is that the book isn’t about “fixing” yourself or trying to force a new personality. Instead, it focuses on helping us understand what’s happening beneath the surface when we interact with others. It’s more of an explanation than a self‑help manual, and that made it feel refreshing and honest.
Thank you NetGalley and Celadon Books for the complimentary copy. This is my honest review.
What I appreciated most is that the book isn’t about “fixing” yourself or trying to force a new personality. Instead, it focuses on helping us understand what’s happening beneath the surface when we interact with others. It’s more of an explanation than a self‑help manual, and that made it feel refreshing and honest.
Thank you NetGalley and Celadon Books for the complimentary copy. This is my honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced listener's copy of Why We Click.
I found Why We Click really interesting, especially in audio format. The book offers thoughtful insights into human connection, communication, and what really makes relationships work, and it gave me a lot to think about.
The audiobook was engaging and easy to follow, making the ideas feel accessible rather than heavy or academic. This is a great choice if you enjoy nonfiction that explores human behavior and relationships in a relatable, conversational way.
I found Why We Click really interesting, especially in audio format. The book offers thoughtful insights into human connection, communication, and what really makes relationships work, and it gave me a lot to think about.
The audiobook was engaging and easy to follow, making the ideas feel accessible rather than heavy or academic. This is a great choice if you enjoy nonfiction that explores human behavior and relationships in a relatable, conversational way.
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