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Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Memoir (2025)The instant New York Times Bestseller
You knew their name. You didn’t know the real story.
The world knew Alyson Stoner as the charming tomboy from Cheaper by the Dozen, the iconic kid dancer with Missy Elliott, and the friendly face on Disney Channel hits like Camp Rock and Phineas and Ferb. But behind the scenes, a different story was unfolding—one of relentless pressure, family trauma, and a lonely battle to get help.
Semi-Well-Adjusted is more than a Hollywood memoir, it’s a fierce and unflinching look at what it takes to heal in a society that seems determined to break us. With bravely and hard-earned wisdom, Alyson shares their harrowing journey from an eighty-hour work week at age eight and stratospheric child stardom, to navigating religious trauma and rebuilding a life on their own terms.
Now a mental health advocate, Alyson offers a masterclass in self-reclamation for anyone ready to break free from the narratives that have defined them. Semi-Well-Adjusted is a roadmap for finding your own voice and power—despite literally everything.
You knew their name. You didn’t know the real story.
The world knew Alyson Stoner as the charming tomboy from Cheaper by the Dozen, the iconic kid dancer with Missy Elliott, and the friendly face on Disney Channel hits like Camp Rock and Phineas and Ferb. But behind the scenes, a different story was unfolding—one of relentless pressure, family trauma, and a lonely battle to get help.
Semi-Well-Adjusted is more than a Hollywood memoir, it’s a fierce and unflinching look at what it takes to heal in a society that seems determined to break us. With bravely and hard-earned wisdom, Alyson shares their harrowing journey from an eighty-hour work week at age eight and stratospheric child stardom, to navigating religious trauma and rebuilding a life on their own terms.
Now a mental health advocate, Alyson offers a masterclass in self-reclamation for anyone ready to break free from the narratives that have defined them. Semi-Well-Adjusted is a roadmap for finding your own voice and power—despite literally everything.
327 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 12, 2025
2352 people are currently reading
43849 people want to read
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August 26, 2025As a Disney Channel kid and an Alyson Stoner fan, I loved this book! Watching them in Cheaper by the Dozen and Camp Rock are some of my peak childhood memories. It's so hard now as an adult to learn about what child actors/actresses were going through behind the scenes... If you read I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy, you would really enjoy this as well. As with all memoirs I read, I listened to it on audio since Alyson narrates it and loved hearing their story!
September 30, 2025
So, initially, this was going to be a 2-star for me, I thought it was just a mostly-disappointing celebrity memoir, but then I got to a portion that really put a bad taste in my mouth. I'll get through my overall thoughts before I get to that portion that I found especially off-putting.
I am not going to deny that Stoner has been through a lot. We're seeing more and more frequent accounts of child stardom that demonstrate that it is often highly exploitative and abusive. I'm also sure that Stoner has done a lot to heal and work through things, but I think this memoir as a creative project maybe needed a little more introspection and time for reflection before it was put together.
Memoirs Aren't Just Your Diary
It's perhaps not fun to think about, but while memoirs are real accounts of someone's life, they are also narrative stories with characters. Things like character arcs, narrative structure, and plot throughlines are important aspects. No, life doesn't usually tie up nicely in a bow the way a novel would, but how you present your narrative story should follow consistent throughlines. Maybe this needed more editing or plotting out ahead of time, I'm not sure, but there are some rough weaknesses in how this book is constructed.
Stoner's novel seems to try to hit on common tropes that celebrity memoirs cover. I've seen a lot of comparison to Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died, which is an apt comparison, but unfortunately to this memoir's detriment. Stoner engages with the concepts of exploitative parents but doesn't seem fully willing or able to criticize their behavior. I know that that's probably really hard to engage with, but if you're going to portray your mother's addiction and financial exploitation, you can't at the same time hover over and downplay those things. Was Stoner's mother a hard-working, sacrificing parent, or a superficial, power-hungry greedy person? Yes, people can be complex, but Stoner's surface-level approach to portraying their mother reads more as character inconsistency than nuance. Similarly, is Stoner's father a deadbeat, absent divorcee or a long-suffering parent who inspires their career, cruelly barred from seeing them? The book can't seem to make up its mind on how it characterizes a lot of the side characters. Seeing as this is based on real-life, I understand that people can be all of these things simultaneously, but the lack of development in explaining these things leaves gaps that just come across as contradictory.
Under-Developed Self-Reflection
A lack of depth and development is a common issue I took with the book. A concept or theme would come up, disappear for a few chapters, then suddenly resolve. We don't get to see the growth. For example, Stoner realizes they're queer after developing a crush on a woman. When they confide in their family and faith community, they're met with the typical hallmarks of queer rejection: insistence that it's sinful, cautioning that it'll ruin their career, etc. Based on the narrative, they seemed to have internalized all these things too. Then the queer theme takes a backseat. Then, multiple chapters later, when it's the obligatory third act triumphant-and-empowering part of the memoir, they decide to shave their head and come out publicly online, and that's that. Did they grapple internally with this? Did they resolve anything with their mom or their faith group? We as audiences are not necessarily entitled to this information, though choosing to include these things in the memoir without any development comes across as half-baked.
I've seen a couple reviewers mention that Stoner also seems to lack self-reflection and accountability and I absolutely agree. Throughout the entire book, there weren't any points that stood out to me as Stoner saying, "I messed up there, that one was on me." No, everything that happens to Stoner is completely other people screwing them over, passing them over for things they felt entitled to, and not giving Stoner their "big break." Even if all of those anecdotes were accurate and in those instances, they were being screwed by other people, the lack of inclusion of any self-reflection makes the entire thing feel like a bit of a pity party. I feel like if there was even one scene where Stoner is like, "yeah, I was a jerk in this situation," it would have implied that they're a person capable of admitting to wrongdoing. In a memoir, you partially establish credibility with your audience through things like relatability. If you can't be relatable, then humility. Neither are present here. There's never a part where they blow off an audition or are rude to a friend, no, it's always "everyone passed me up even though I wanted it really, really badly," which comes off as unfortunately kind of whiny.
A Different Plane of Reality
Another criticism I agree with is that Stoner comes off as out-of-touch. I want to stress, I can't deny that Stoner had put in the hours through child stardom and worked a lot, sacrificing a traditional childhood in the process. Still, there's an entitlement that I found alienating as a reader. They admit that being 'triple threat' won't set you apart but also feel the need to remind the reader that they were 'triple threat' regularly throughout the book. They complain about not receiving their 'big break,' when they were in commercials, music videos with huge stars like Missy Elliot, on multiple regular Disney channel TV shows, in huge blockbuster movies -- these things are going to make an average reader say, "well, if that's not a big break, what even is?"
Celebrities! They're Just Like You and Me, Financially! I Swear!
Money is a frustrating theme in the book. Stoner makes pains to point out that stardom is actually not all riches and financial security, that they would take home 15 cents of every dollar they made, yet coyly neglects to actually list a dollar amount made. When they find out they're broke before a big influencer show at age 23, they're shocked there aren't millions in their account. They say they were never taught financial literacy but also that they had account managers and financial planners, which made me feel like some details were omitted. You're telling me that your financial advisors weren't neglectful, yet somehow you were being underpaid? That all your contract workers were overcharging you? That you simply didn't know that showering people with expensive custom monogrammed gifts because they're 'less fortunate' was a dumb financial decision? Less fortunate people can't eat custom monogrammed towels. That won't pay their rent. It's again a situation of "nobody told me and I did nothing wrong!"
When the money thing happened, they lamented that their career was all for nothing because if they'd had a normal childhood, they wouldn't be starting from $0 at age 23. My immediate thought was, "no, you'd actually be much worse off because if you had a normal childhood, you'd likely have gone to college and be in massive amounts of student loan debt." Imagine my shock when the next thing Stoner decides is, in order to turn their life around, they should go to college. To an Ivy League school, specifically. Notoriously not affordable things there, especially if you just realized you're broke. Stoner doesn't look up the acceptance requirements, they just reckon that since Natalie Portman went, they can to. They're rejected immediately for not meeting minimum application requirements and instead of applying to someplace with less of prestigious name-brand glamor or working on getting those requirements, Stoner gives up on college entirely. Financially, that was probably the best call if we're being honest.
Now, the part I found especially distasteful.
Stoner has now pivoted in their career to being a "mental health practitioner." They mention they've done "short term certification programs" in mental healthcare and trauma healing practices. I tried to find evidence of their credentials online, I couldn't find anything, just repeated mentions of "certification courses." Certifications in what? Was it a ten-minute online course, a seminar, a six-week intensive? Who runs the certifications? Actually healthcare providers? "Wellness gurus"? Quacks? We don't know. All we know is that Stoner has a "short-form digital series" (a YouTube channel), a podcast, and a wellness company. The epilogue of the book is a marketing pitch for their company full of corporate-ese and therapy speak. I looked into their product offerings, you can get your Artist Wellbeing Toolkit for the low low price of $400! You can sign up for their workshops and classes with an $120 yearly membership (get four months free if you book now at $80)!!
If Stoner was actually a certified mental health practitioner, they would have heavily edited the portions of their memoir surrounding their battles with eating disorders. Any mental healthcare practitioner worth their salt would tell you that the two basic things you're never supposed to do when discussing EDs is: (1) list actual weights and numbers of pounds and (2) discuss detailed methods for ED related self harm. Those are standard, never-do-these-things things. Unlike suicidal ideation where speaking out can help remove stigma, speaking about EDs can lead to body-checking and serve as a how-to guide for someone struggling.
I lost a lot of respect for Stoner and the memoir when I realized that this book is ultimately a marketing ploy to sign up for a 'wellness' and mental health grift. It really seems like Stoner saw the success celebrity memoirs like McCurdy's or Britney Spears and realized they could capitalize on it. I find it really offputting for someone to capitalize on mental health in this way. I get it, Stoner needs to pay the bills, but this really missed the mark for me.
I am not going to deny that Stoner has been through a lot. We're seeing more and more frequent accounts of child stardom that demonstrate that it is often highly exploitative and abusive. I'm also sure that Stoner has done a lot to heal and work through things, but I think this memoir as a creative project maybe needed a little more introspection and time for reflection before it was put together.
Memoirs Aren't Just Your Diary
It's perhaps not fun to think about, but while memoirs are real accounts of someone's life, they are also narrative stories with characters. Things like character arcs, narrative structure, and plot throughlines are important aspects. No, life doesn't usually tie up nicely in a bow the way a novel would, but how you present your narrative story should follow consistent throughlines. Maybe this needed more editing or plotting out ahead of time, I'm not sure, but there are some rough weaknesses in how this book is constructed.
Stoner's novel seems to try to hit on common tropes that celebrity memoirs cover. I've seen a lot of comparison to Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died, which is an apt comparison, but unfortunately to this memoir's detriment. Stoner engages with the concepts of exploitative parents but doesn't seem fully willing or able to criticize their behavior. I know that that's probably really hard to engage with, but if you're going to portray your mother's addiction and financial exploitation, you can't at the same time hover over and downplay those things. Was Stoner's mother a hard-working, sacrificing parent, or a superficial, power-hungry greedy person? Yes, people can be complex, but Stoner's surface-level approach to portraying their mother reads more as character inconsistency than nuance. Similarly, is Stoner's father a deadbeat, absent divorcee or a long-suffering parent who inspires their career, cruelly barred from seeing them? The book can't seem to make up its mind on how it characterizes a lot of the side characters. Seeing as this is based on real-life, I understand that people can be all of these things simultaneously, but the lack of development in explaining these things leaves gaps that just come across as contradictory.
Under-Developed Self-Reflection
A lack of depth and development is a common issue I took with the book. A concept or theme would come up, disappear for a few chapters, then suddenly resolve. We don't get to see the growth. For example, Stoner realizes they're queer after developing a crush on a woman. When they confide in their family and faith community, they're met with the typical hallmarks of queer rejection: insistence that it's sinful, cautioning that it'll ruin their career, etc. Based on the narrative, they seemed to have internalized all these things too. Then the queer theme takes a backseat. Then, multiple chapters later, when it's the obligatory third act triumphant-and-empowering part of the memoir, they decide to shave their head and come out publicly online, and that's that. Did they grapple internally with this? Did they resolve anything with their mom or their faith group? We as audiences are not necessarily entitled to this information, though choosing to include these things in the memoir without any development comes across as half-baked.
I've seen a couple reviewers mention that Stoner also seems to lack self-reflection and accountability and I absolutely agree. Throughout the entire book, there weren't any points that stood out to me as Stoner saying, "I messed up there, that one was on me." No, everything that happens to Stoner is completely other people screwing them over, passing them over for things they felt entitled to, and not giving Stoner their "big break." Even if all of those anecdotes were accurate and in those instances, they were being screwed by other people, the lack of inclusion of any self-reflection makes the entire thing feel like a bit of a pity party. I feel like if there was even one scene where Stoner is like, "yeah, I was a jerk in this situation," it would have implied that they're a person capable of admitting to wrongdoing. In a memoir, you partially establish credibility with your audience through things like relatability. If you can't be relatable, then humility. Neither are present here. There's never a part where they blow off an audition or are rude to a friend, no, it's always "everyone passed me up even though I wanted it really, really badly," which comes off as unfortunately kind of whiny.
A Different Plane of Reality
Another criticism I agree with is that Stoner comes off as out-of-touch. I want to stress, I can't deny that Stoner had put in the hours through child stardom and worked a lot, sacrificing a traditional childhood in the process. Still, there's an entitlement that I found alienating as a reader. They admit that being 'triple threat' won't set you apart but also feel the need to remind the reader that they were 'triple threat' regularly throughout the book. They complain about not receiving their 'big break,' when they were in commercials, music videos with huge stars like Missy Elliot, on multiple regular Disney channel TV shows, in huge blockbuster movies -- these things are going to make an average reader say, "well, if that's not a big break, what even is?"
Celebrities! They're Just Like You and Me, Financially! I Swear!
Money is a frustrating theme in the book. Stoner makes pains to point out that stardom is actually not all riches and financial security, that they would take home 15 cents of every dollar they made, yet coyly neglects to actually list a dollar amount made. When they find out they're broke before a big influencer show at age 23, they're shocked there aren't millions in their account. They say they were never taught financial literacy but also that they had account managers and financial planners, which made me feel like some details were omitted. You're telling me that your financial advisors weren't neglectful, yet somehow you were being underpaid? That all your contract workers were overcharging you? That you simply didn't know that showering people with expensive custom monogrammed gifts because they're 'less fortunate' was a dumb financial decision? Less fortunate people can't eat custom monogrammed towels. That won't pay their rent. It's again a situation of "nobody told me and I did nothing wrong!"
When the money thing happened, they lamented that their career was all for nothing because if they'd had a normal childhood, they wouldn't be starting from $0 at age 23. My immediate thought was, "no, you'd actually be much worse off because if you had a normal childhood, you'd likely have gone to college and be in massive amounts of student loan debt." Imagine my shock when the next thing Stoner decides is, in order to turn their life around, they should go to college. To an Ivy League school, specifically. Notoriously not affordable things there, especially if you just realized you're broke. Stoner doesn't look up the acceptance requirements, they just reckon that since Natalie Portman went, they can to. They're rejected immediately for not meeting minimum application requirements and instead of applying to someplace with less of prestigious name-brand glamor or working on getting those requirements, Stoner gives up on college entirely. Financially, that was probably the best call if we're being honest.
Now, the part I found especially distasteful.
Stoner has now pivoted in their career to being a "mental health practitioner." They mention they've done "short term certification programs" in mental healthcare and trauma healing practices. I tried to find evidence of their credentials online, I couldn't find anything, just repeated mentions of "certification courses." Certifications in what? Was it a ten-minute online course, a seminar, a six-week intensive? Who runs the certifications? Actually healthcare providers? "Wellness gurus"? Quacks? We don't know. All we know is that Stoner has a "short-form digital series" (a YouTube channel), a podcast, and a wellness company. The epilogue of the book is a marketing pitch for their company full of corporate-ese and therapy speak. I looked into their product offerings, you can get your Artist Wellbeing Toolkit for the low low price of $400! You can sign up for their workshops and classes with an $120 yearly membership (get four months free if you book now at $80)!!
If Stoner was actually a certified mental health practitioner, they would have heavily edited the portions of their memoir surrounding their battles with eating disorders. Any mental healthcare practitioner worth their salt would tell you that the two basic things you're never supposed to do when discussing EDs is: (1) list actual weights and numbers of pounds and (2) discuss detailed methods for ED related self harm. Those are standard, never-do-these-things things. Unlike suicidal ideation where speaking out can help remove stigma, speaking about EDs can lead to body-checking and serve as a how-to guide for someone struggling.
I lost a lot of respect for Stoner and the memoir when I realized that this book is ultimately a marketing ploy to sign up for a 'wellness' and mental health grift. It really seems like Stoner saw the success celebrity memoirs like McCurdy's or Britney Spears and realized they could capitalize on it. I find it really offputting for someone to capitalize on mental health in this way. I get it, Stoner needs to pay the bills, but this really missed the mark for me.
August 24, 2025
Excellent audiobook but had to mark it down a couple stars for her trying to talk like a baby, aka her childhood self. Too weird man.
August 14, 2025
No notes 🥹
Alyson’s memoir has allllll of the things. Reflection indicative of immense growth, transparency, laughs… 𝕡𝕚𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝚑𝚘𝚝 ☕️🫖 (sorry Alyson, my inner publicist got the best of me for a sec 😅 if it gets em to read, I think its worth it… 💩, am I now part of the problem? Gah, 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 is so meta—another reason I’m obsessed)
What I love most is how genuinely healthy this feels, in its entirety. I was left hopeful, & an even bigger fan of Alyson—if that’s even possible. To be clear, I’m now a bigger fan of 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. Not as a reflection of the stardom, the talent (ok fine, those too) I’m saying 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 the talent we’ve all seen, 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧. To the extent I thought “no way they’re 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 wholesome?” 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎🥹 This much compassion, understanding, empathy, intelligence (emotional & on paper), drive to help others, hunger for learning & growing & being the best they can? Couldn’t be faked for 298pgs, there’s just no way.
Despite having been a celeb for the last 20+ years, this is one of the most relatable memoirs I’ve read & a must read for those navigating their 20-30s. A lot of what they faced as a child star were just dangerously exacerbated worries the usual kid has. But these childhoods play out in front of millions. I don’t have to explain to you how wild that is. & the insight Alyson provides makes this clearer than anyone else could have.
I wish they wouldn’t have had to deal w the terrible things they did…& the industry treated them how they deserved…& they got all of the roles & recognition & love & support they deserve from day 1… But we’re a little late. Thankfully, we now have 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙. Read it & hear them out. This is a story that NEEDS to be made public. Childhood fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be— news to no one. But it’s 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 than we thought. Even the stars who seem “fine” likely have a miserable day-to-day, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
I went w audio & print in tandem per usual. I’m a sucker for memoirs read by their author, & Alyson being a voice actor makes their audiobook even more entertaining. The emotion in their voice brought me to tears more than once. Their singing, spins on catchphrases (for roles they should have booked, if the industry wasn’t stupid), the changes in pace & tone for different people (not to mention the idea of giving their “inner publicist” its own voice—creative genius!), the care that shines thru in their words alone… You’ve just gotta do audio if you’re able. Or both in tandem, like me 😇
I’d be remiss if I didn’t applaud Alyson for their attention to detail. Not a single topic is covered that readers aren’t provided a resource to help handle. Their note in the beginning explicitly states taking breaks it’s important, esp if/when the topics get too heavy or hit too close to home. They leave us actionable items, new ways to think about celebrity, ideas for change. This isn’t a “tell all”, nothing feels malicious, no one is being placed on a pedestal. They’re just…𝘚𝘦𝘮𝘪-𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘈𝘥𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 🤷🏼♀️ To say I’m both incredibly proud of & tremendously inspired by them would be a gross understatement.
I quite literally CANNOT recommend this more.
(Full disclosure, I was initially gifted a copy of this by the publisher—thank you bunches SMP—I loved it so much I bought another copy, bc I wanted to back my review w unfettered endorsement)
Alyson’s memoir has allllll of the things. Reflection indicative of immense growth, transparency, laughs… 𝕡𝕚𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝚑𝚘𝚝 ☕️🫖 (sorry Alyson, my inner publicist got the best of me for a sec 😅 if it gets em to read, I think its worth it… 💩, am I now part of the problem? Gah, 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 is so meta—another reason I’m obsessed)
What I love most is how genuinely healthy this feels, in its entirety. I was left hopeful, & an even bigger fan of Alyson—if that’s even possible. To be clear, I’m now a bigger fan of 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. Not as a reflection of the stardom, the talent (ok fine, those too) I’m saying 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 the talent we’ve all seen, 𝐀𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧. To the extent I thought “no way they’re 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 wholesome?” 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎🥹 This much compassion, understanding, empathy, intelligence (emotional & on paper), drive to help others, hunger for learning & growing & being the best they can? Couldn’t be faked for 298pgs, there’s just no way.
Despite having been a celeb for the last 20+ years, this is one of the most relatable memoirs I’ve read & a must read for those navigating their 20-30s. A lot of what they faced as a child star were just dangerously exacerbated worries the usual kid has. But these childhoods play out in front of millions. I don’t have to explain to you how wild that is. & the insight Alyson provides makes this clearer than anyone else could have.
I wish they wouldn’t have had to deal w the terrible things they did…& the industry treated them how they deserved…& they got all of the roles & recognition & love & support they deserve from day 1… But we’re a little late. Thankfully, we now have 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙡-𝘼𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙. Read it & hear them out. This is a story that NEEDS to be made public. Childhood fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be— news to no one. But it’s 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 than we thought. Even the stars who seem “fine” likely have a miserable day-to-day, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
I went w audio & print in tandem per usual. I’m a sucker for memoirs read by their author, & Alyson being a voice actor makes their audiobook even more entertaining. The emotion in their voice brought me to tears more than once. Their singing, spins on catchphrases (for roles they should have booked, if the industry wasn’t stupid), the changes in pace & tone for different people (not to mention the idea of giving their “inner publicist” its own voice—creative genius!), the care that shines thru in their words alone… You’ve just gotta do audio if you’re able. Or both in tandem, like me 😇
I’d be remiss if I didn’t applaud Alyson for their attention to detail. Not a single topic is covered that readers aren’t provided a resource to help handle. Their note in the beginning explicitly states taking breaks it’s important, esp if/when the topics get too heavy or hit too close to home. They leave us actionable items, new ways to think about celebrity, ideas for change. This isn’t a “tell all”, nothing feels malicious, no one is being placed on a pedestal. They’re just…𝘚𝘦𝘮𝘪-𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘈𝘥𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 🤷🏼♀️ To say I’m both incredibly proud of & tremendously inspired by them would be a gross understatement.
I quite literally CANNOT recommend this more.
(Full disclosure, I was initially gifted a copy of this by the publisher—thank you bunches SMP—I loved it so much I bought another copy, bc I wanted to back my review w unfettered endorsement)
Read
September 12, 2025 *** I DON'T RATE MEMOIRS ***
I have no words 🥹 the transparency used in this memoir made it heavier to read ❤️🩹 there's a saying along the lines of not all women are cut out to be mothers which applies here too😒
- Full review to come ( might add )
I have no words 🥹 the transparency used in this memoir made it heavier to read ❤️🩹 there's a saying along the lines of not all women are cut out to be mothers which applies here too😒
- Full review to come ( might add )
December 12, 2025
Eight-year-olds are not meant to have full-time jobs, especially not jobs that make them household names. I am more convinced than ever after reading this memoir that child stardom leaves very few people unscathed. Depending on your age, you may remember Alyson Stoner as “the cute little kid from the Missy Elliott videos” or a prominent character in movies like Camp Rock and Cheaper by the Dozen. This book reveals the darkness that was happening behind the scenes.
While people are for sure going to compare this to Jeanette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died, Stoner’s mother, while a complicated and imperfect person, was much less villainous. In some ways, that makes the story scarier. It shows the trauma that comes from child stardom even without an overbearing stage parent. Throughout the book, we see the maladaptive ways Stoner tried to cope with an extremely abnormal childhood, from an eating disorder to extreme religiosity. We also see the many ways the industry failed them, including premature sexualization, unrealistic expectations, and poor provisions for their education and financial future. Despite it all, Stoner is not just “semi well-adjusted.” They are smart, well-spoken and a force to be reckoned with as a voice for kids in the industry.
I definitely recommend this one on audio, as Stoner’s tremendous acting skills really shine through.
While people are for sure going to compare this to Jeanette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died, Stoner’s mother, while a complicated and imperfect person, was much less villainous. In some ways, that makes the story scarier. It shows the trauma that comes from child stardom even without an overbearing stage parent. Throughout the book, we see the maladaptive ways Stoner tried to cope with an extremely abnormal childhood, from an eating disorder to extreme religiosity. We also see the many ways the industry failed them, including premature sexualization, unrealistic expectations, and poor provisions for their education and financial future. Despite it all, Stoner is not just “semi well-adjusted.” They are smart, well-spoken and a force to be reckoned with as a voice for kids in the industry.
I definitely recommend this one on audio, as Stoner’s tremendous acting skills really shine through.
December 31, 2025
Stoner’s memoir details her experience as a child actor. An experience that highlighted the lack of autonomy and advocacy child actors have. At times, this was a harrowing read, however it felt important as it’s clear the entertainment industry needs to implement better systems to protect children. I liked that Stoner included a list of recommendations they think the industry could utilize in future.
Hopefully, memoirs like this and others will invoke some form of change by highlighting the toxic, abusive and harmful environments child actors sometimes experience.
Hopefully, memoirs like this and others will invoke some form of change by highlighting the toxic, abusive and harmful environments child actors sometimes experience.
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September 5, 2025Man, I’ve read a ton of memoirs in the last year. Ranging from cults to Hollywood stars that I grew up seeing on tv or listening to. The overarching theme I’ve realized is that Hollywood sucks, most parents suck and it’s incredibly sad seeing people abuse others for monetary gain.
What is inspiring is seeing someone rise above it all. I’ve seen Alyson in Step Up and obvi the Missy Elliot video as well as Cheaper by the Dozen- (I just missed the camp rock era) and I applaud Stoner for taking charge of their life and making something of themself for THEM and no one else. They have worked tirelessly and deserves a good rest. I loved hearing about Alyson’s Dad, and want to give a middle finger to her Mom, and to Moose from Step Up, you get a big FU with double middle fingers. Words can’t even describe the gym/supplement wacko
What is inspiring is seeing someone rise above it all. I’ve seen Alyson in Step Up and obvi the Missy Elliot video as well as Cheaper by the Dozen- (I just missed the camp rock era) and I applaud Stoner for taking charge of their life and making something of themself for THEM and no one else. They have worked tirelessly and deserves a good rest. I loved hearing about Alyson’s Dad, and want to give a middle finger to her Mom, and to Moose from Step Up, you get a big FU with double middle fingers. Words can’t even describe the gym/supplement wacko
September 3, 2025
I really wanted to like this, as I love hearing about Disney and Nickelodeon kids lives. I have a lot of respect for them and already know a lot about what often goes on behind the scenes.
Unfortunately though, there were several things that made this really irritating to read. The first is how she positions herself throughout the book. She makes it very clear that she has never done anything wrong in her life. She paints herself as extremely innocent and from being a small child is only ever considering everyone else around her. And to a certain extent, I believe that. I relate to some of her experiences and understand that she was groomed to be hypervigilant and a people pleaser from a young age. But the dialogue and thought processes used to paint her childhood are so sickly sweet and unrealistic, that it makes it seem as though she’s a very unreliable narrator straight off the bat.
She’s also careful to one up every situation against everyone else in the book. Everything she is going through is worse than you, but she’s also nicer AND more talented. At least 10% of this book is just: ‘Oh, she has an eating disorder? Mine is worse and she didn’t even care about fans unlike me’.
This leads onto my other big problem. She’s SO unbelievably out of touch, and has no idea. Her humble brags aren’t just constant, but most of the things she’s congratulating herself on aren’t even good. There’s a part where she runs out of money and doesn’t pay her backup dancers on time (more on this next), and she ends this part of the book by smugly explaining how she goes out of her way to “pay them on time for the rest of the tour” by dipping into her savings, as if she’s done something really kind. No mention that it’s maybe not a great environment that they were paid late in the first place, and had to ASK HER for the money.
So back to the part where she runs out of money, from this chapter onwards, it goes from ‘ugh this is quite annoying, hopefully she gains some self-awareness in adulthood’ to ‘okay this whole thing is now completely ridiculous’. And that’s because she’s still such a martyr, but can no longer blame it on being a child. She has never checked her accounts, and blames it on not being trained in financial literacy at home, framing it like this is something really shocking. Not realising that, of course, almost no one gets taught this. She then spends a lot of time mourning the fact that she can’t just spend as much money as she wants for the rest of her life without ever checking her bank account (?) despite the fact that she does still have money tied up in other places and plenty of ways available to her to make more money.
And then, even more infuriatingly, she decides she’s going to go to college (so still has enough money to do that), and applies to an Ivy League school without checking any of the entry requirements. Who does that?! And then she’s completely shocked when she doesn’t get in. It would be okay if she wrote this with any hindsight at all, but she’s obviously still very hurt and surprised by this. She genuinely cannot wrap her head around the fact that she can’t have infinite opportunities and endless money, and will forever see herself as the most talented and biggest victim in the room.
I could write a whole other review about how she speaks about eating disorders. Because she makes it clear that she was the best at that too, and the whole thing reeks of body checking. But I’ll leave that one there as it’s obviously a sensitive issue.
Oh my GOD I am so glad I’m done with this book.
Unfortunately though, there were several things that made this really irritating to read. The first is how she positions herself throughout the book. She makes it very clear that she has never done anything wrong in her life. She paints herself as extremely innocent and from being a small child is only ever considering everyone else around her. And to a certain extent, I believe that. I relate to some of her experiences and understand that she was groomed to be hypervigilant and a people pleaser from a young age. But the dialogue and thought processes used to paint her childhood are so sickly sweet and unrealistic, that it makes it seem as though she’s a very unreliable narrator straight off the bat.
She’s also careful to one up every situation against everyone else in the book. Everything she is going through is worse than you, but she’s also nicer AND more talented. At least 10% of this book is just: ‘Oh, she has an eating disorder? Mine is worse and she didn’t even care about fans unlike me’.
This leads onto my other big problem. She’s SO unbelievably out of touch, and has no idea. Her humble brags aren’t just constant, but most of the things she’s congratulating herself on aren’t even good. There’s a part where she runs out of money and doesn’t pay her backup dancers on time (more on this next), and she ends this part of the book by smugly explaining how she goes out of her way to “pay them on time for the rest of the tour” by dipping into her savings, as if she’s done something really kind. No mention that it’s maybe not a great environment that they were paid late in the first place, and had to ASK HER for the money.
So back to the part where she runs out of money, from this chapter onwards, it goes from ‘ugh this is quite annoying, hopefully she gains some self-awareness in adulthood’ to ‘okay this whole thing is now completely ridiculous’. And that’s because she’s still such a martyr, but can no longer blame it on being a child. She has never checked her accounts, and blames it on not being trained in financial literacy at home, framing it like this is something really shocking. Not realising that, of course, almost no one gets taught this. She then spends a lot of time mourning the fact that she can’t just spend as much money as she wants for the rest of her life without ever checking her bank account (?) despite the fact that she does still have money tied up in other places and plenty of ways available to her to make more money.
And then, even more infuriatingly, she decides she’s going to go to college (so still has enough money to do that), and applies to an Ivy League school without checking any of the entry requirements. Who does that?! And then she’s completely shocked when she doesn’t get in. It would be okay if she wrote this with any hindsight at all, but she’s obviously still very hurt and surprised by this. She genuinely cannot wrap her head around the fact that she can’t have infinite opportunities and endless money, and will forever see herself as the most talented and biggest victim in the room.
I could write a whole other review about how she speaks about eating disorders. Because she makes it clear that she was the best at that too, and the whole thing reeks of body checking. But I’ll leave that one there as it’s obviously a sensitive issue.
Oh my GOD I am so glad I’m done with this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 15, 2025
I’m unsure how to feel about this book. I read it because growing up, Alyson was pretty much on every tv show or movie I watched in some capacity. I can’t explain it well, but the tone of this was very different. Kind of gave off something I didn’t like.
I will say, however, I can’t imagine being a child in Hollywood. It’s truly amazing (and not in a good way) what happens to and is expected of kids. Hollywood really is a world of its own.
I will say, however, I can’t imagine being a child in Hollywood. It’s truly amazing (and not in a good way) what happens to and is expected of kids. Hollywood really is a world of its own.
August 17, 2025
Like most people my age, I grew up watching Alyson Stoner in Cheaper By the Dozen,
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Camp Rock, but I never really knew much about their life until a few years ago, when they came out as queer.
In 2018, they released their song When It's Right, where they talked about their struggles with internalised homophobia and how freeing it felt to be sapphic and allow themselves to fall in love with a woman for the first time. It was right around the same time that I realised I was a lesbian and, despite our upbringing and the root of our internalised homophobia being vastly different, the song and their story deeply resonated with me. It was then that I started to follow their work more closely and, when they released their song Stripped Bare, I began to learn about all their struggles as a former child actor, how their family took advantage of them from an early age and the impact it had had on their mental and physical health. I found the song and music video to be incredibly honest and eye-opening about the reality of child stars.
So, of course, when they announced they were going to publish a memoir, I knew I had to read it as soon as possible. I actually listened to the audiobook, which Alyson narrates, and I think hearing them talk about all these issues so openly and directly made it hit even harder. There are a lot of content warnings at the beginning of the book for a reason, since it covers such heavy topics as emotional and physical abuse, rape, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, religious trauma and more. It was difficult to listen to it at times, but Alyson does an exceptional job at pointing out the numerous problems they encountered in the Hollywood industry and how it negatively affected not only their own life, but also that of their peers and fellow Disney kids. They didn't shy away from naming names when they had to, but it wasn't about "spilling the tea" for drama or attention — they raised important concerns and brought awareness to the abuse child stars are exposed to.
I'm genuinely happy for all the things Alyson has achieved since they decided to step away from acting and the public eye, how they've found peace in living a more regular life and, above all, the work they're doing to protect child actors and influencers from suffering the same fate as they did.
I rarely read non-fiction, but this was one of the best books I've read this year so far and I think it should be a mandatory read if you were once a kid who loved Disney Channel or Nickelodeon and want to learn about the truth of it all, or if you can relate to any of Alyson's struggles. I promise it's worth it.
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Camp Rock, but I never really knew much about their life until a few years ago, when they came out as queer.
In 2018, they released their song When It's Right, where they talked about their struggles with internalised homophobia and how freeing it felt to be sapphic and allow themselves to fall in love with a woman for the first time. It was right around the same time that I realised I was a lesbian and, despite our upbringing and the root of our internalised homophobia being vastly different, the song and their story deeply resonated with me. It was then that I started to follow their work more closely and, when they released their song Stripped Bare, I began to learn about all their struggles as a former child actor, how their family took advantage of them from an early age and the impact it had had on their mental and physical health. I found the song and music video to be incredibly honest and eye-opening about the reality of child stars.
So, of course, when they announced they were going to publish a memoir, I knew I had to read it as soon as possible. I actually listened to the audiobook, which Alyson narrates, and I think hearing them talk about all these issues so openly and directly made it hit even harder. There are a lot of content warnings at the beginning of the book for a reason, since it covers such heavy topics as emotional and physical abuse, rape, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, religious trauma and more. It was difficult to listen to it at times, but Alyson does an exceptional job at pointing out the numerous problems they encountered in the Hollywood industry and how it negatively affected not only their own life, but also that of their peers and fellow Disney kids. They didn't shy away from naming names when they had to, but it wasn't about "spilling the tea" for drama or attention — they raised important concerns and brought awareness to the abuse child stars are exposed to.
I'm genuinely happy for all the things Alyson has achieved since they decided to step away from acting and the public eye, how they've found peace in living a more regular life and, above all, the work they're doing to protect child actors and influencers from suffering the same fate as they did.
I rarely read non-fiction, but this was one of the best books I've read this year so far and I think it should be a mandatory read if you were once a kid who loved Disney Channel or Nickelodeon and want to learn about the truth of it all, or if you can relate to any of Alyson's struggles. I promise it's worth it.
September 21, 2025
It's hard for me to judge somebody else's memories, stories, and life experiences. I will try to be as objective as I can.
Unfortunately, I didn't like this memoir. I think the comparisons to Jennette McCurdy's book are greatly exaggerated. Alyson Stoner wants to be perceive as absolutely innocent, sweet and unwitting. They are a victim of the system and adults who exploited her for being a people pleaser and having a multitude of mental health issues. I feel sorry for them because no one should have to experience these things, and I'm very glad the trigger warnings appeared at the beginning of the book. However, after reading this book, I have this strange feeling that Alyson is trying to silence the chaos in her head with pseudo-intellectual gibberish. While McCurdy's memoir was truthful, poignant, and authentic, Stoner's memories seem sugarcoated. The exalted narrative drove me crazy, and the lack of any sense of their privilege was unbearable.
I felt like the entire world should apologize to Alyson Stoner for failing to recognize their incredible talent, for failing to protect them from the evils of the world, for failing to get into university, and thank them for all the things she does for others. It's hard for me to write this because I know it's their memories and experiences, but listening to them left me feeling more frustrated than connected to someone who had truly healed their problems.
2,5/5
Unfortunately, I didn't like this memoir. I think the comparisons to Jennette McCurdy's book are greatly exaggerated. Alyson Stoner wants to be perceive as absolutely innocent, sweet and unwitting. They are a victim of the system and adults who exploited her for being a people pleaser and having a multitude of mental health issues. I feel sorry for them because no one should have to experience these things, and I'm very glad the trigger warnings appeared at the beginning of the book. However, after reading this book, I have this strange feeling that Alyson is trying to silence the chaos in her head with pseudo-intellectual gibberish. While McCurdy's memoir was truthful, poignant, and authentic, Stoner's memories seem sugarcoated. The exalted narrative drove me crazy, and the lack of any sense of their privilege was unbearable.
I felt like the entire world should apologize to Alyson Stoner for failing to recognize their incredible talent, for failing to protect them from the evils of the world, for failing to get into university, and thank them for all the things she does for others. It's hard for me to write this because I know it's their memories and experiences, but listening to them left me feeling more frustrated than connected to someone who had truly healed their problems.
2,5/5
August 21, 2025
The victim mentality was too much for me. While I think a lot of the stories are relatable and may help people struggling with a variety of issues, this is a masterclass on twisting the facts so you look good or sympathetic at every turn. It worked and got me through 3/4 of this book feeling their pain. At some point, however, I just wanted them to say, “Yeah, I messed that one up. My bad.” They somehow found a way to place the blame on other people’s shoulders for everything, from their lackluster career and eating disorder to their nose job and inability to get into college. It’s impossible not to compare this to Jennette McCurdy’s book, and I think this book lacks the raw and unfiltered self examination that made me love “I’m Glad My Mom Died.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 26, 2025
the titular phrase being in the last sentence of the book pushed me over the edge
August 29, 2025
I enjoyed this even though it wasn't really the "ohhhh they're going HARD on Hollywood and naming NAMES!" that the hype suggested. Aside from the author's immediate circle – mother, stepfather, various people on their management team – there's very little personal outing aside from one asshole guy from a 'Step Up' movie who wasn't thrilled to work with the author because they weren't as hot as his last love interest. There is more general discussion of child welfare and exploitation in the industry, especially when it comes to Disney and how child actors are commodities used as pawns for other people to make money, which was super interesting to read from the author's personal perspective. Most of it is pretty well-known at this point so it wasn't really groundbreaking, but I do think the personal touches better illustrated the problems within the system and added a lot of value to the conversation.
Overall, this is very well-written and I like that the author – who was a working child actor for over a decade with tons of credits and a few iconic cultural moments – was so honest about feeling like they never truly 'made it' in Hollywood and openly discussed what they saw as successes but also as failures. Compared to others who came out of this era from the same projects – Hilary Duff, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers – it really was a different experience and the author going from feeling pride about their success based on accomplishing something only a tiny percentage of actors ever will to feeling like a failure because they were never cast as a lead or taken seriously for projects outside of Disney, especially as they transitioned to adulthood, was illuminating.
I unfortunately sometimes notice really niche things that most other people would not, so as much as I respect Stoner for telling their story in such a raw and gut-wrenching way, I did have one problem with this book – they shared an entirely false narrative about why they didn't get a role as a child, which made me question what else the author may have misremembered, embellished, or straight-up lied about. The author discusses how, at the age of seven, they went on a series of auditions for the lead in the atrocious 2001 Shirley Temple biopic, made it to the final three, and then found out they lost the role to the director's sister. This leads to a brief discussion of nepotism in Hollywood, and how it's not about how talented you are but about who you know, with the author blaming this and other experiences on this issue. However, the person who was cast as the child Shirley Temple in this made-for-TV movie was Ashley Rose Orr, an established actor, singer, and dancer with two Broadway credits and a bunch of TV/voiceover work under her belt at the time and completely unrelated to anyone involved in the production (compared to Stoner, who at the time of the auditions was brand new to Hollywood with very little experience outside of some acting coaching and dance classes). There is a nugget of truth about the nepotism, as Melissa Joan Hart was a producer and her sister Emily played the teenage Shirley Temple, but this was completely unrelated to Stoner not booking the child version of the role and it's incredibly unfair to suggest that Orr didn't deserve the role when she was a WILDLY experienced, established, and polished triple threat (and also had a closer physical resemblance to the real-life person she was portraying).
This didn't completely taint the book for me, and I'm willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt for misremembering the Hart connection as it having affected their own casting, but it did plant a seed of mistrust when there were other excuses for their career not going the way they hoped. Like, were they really originally pitched for the lead in 'Camp Rock' and then strung along for years only to be passed over for the up-and-coming Demi Lovato? Did they really inspire a 'Hannah Montana'-esque series only for Disney to dump it in favor of the Miley Cyrus version? Did the guy from 'Step Up' really refuse to learn his lines or choreo simply because he wasn't physically attracted to the author? We tend to read memoirs as factual because the people writing them (or sharing their stories with a ghostwriter) are the people who lived them, but the author establishing themself as an unreliable narrator so early in this book – especially with something that could've been so easily fact-checked, shame on the editors – made me a little leery of other anecdotes and incidents they share down the line, which isn't ideal for a reader.
Overall, this is very well-written and I like that the author – who was a working child actor for over a decade with tons of credits and a few iconic cultural moments – was so honest about feeling like they never truly 'made it' in Hollywood and openly discussed what they saw as successes but also as failures. Compared to others who came out of this era from the same projects – Hilary Duff, Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers – it really was a different experience and the author going from feeling pride about their success based on accomplishing something only a tiny percentage of actors ever will to feeling like a failure because they were never cast as a lead or taken seriously for projects outside of Disney, especially as they transitioned to adulthood, was illuminating.
I unfortunately sometimes notice really niche things that most other people would not, so as much as I respect Stoner for telling their story in such a raw and gut-wrenching way, I did have one problem with this book – they shared an entirely false narrative about why they didn't get a role as a child, which made me question what else the author may have misremembered, embellished, or straight-up lied about. The author discusses how, at the age of seven, they went on a series of auditions for the lead in the atrocious 2001 Shirley Temple biopic, made it to the final three, and then found out they lost the role to the director's sister. This leads to a brief discussion of nepotism in Hollywood, and how it's not about how talented you are but about who you know, with the author blaming this and other experiences on this issue. However, the person who was cast as the child Shirley Temple in this made-for-TV movie was Ashley Rose Orr, an established actor, singer, and dancer with two Broadway credits and a bunch of TV/voiceover work under her belt at the time and completely unrelated to anyone involved in the production (compared to Stoner, who at the time of the auditions was brand new to Hollywood with very little experience outside of some acting coaching and dance classes). There is a nugget of truth about the nepotism, as Melissa Joan Hart was a producer and her sister Emily played the teenage Shirley Temple, but this was completely unrelated to Stoner not booking the child version of the role and it's incredibly unfair to suggest that Orr didn't deserve the role when she was a WILDLY experienced, established, and polished triple threat (and also had a closer physical resemblance to the real-life person she was portraying).
This didn't completely taint the book for me, and I'm willing to give the author the benefit of the doubt for misremembering the Hart connection as it having affected their own casting, but it did plant a seed of mistrust when there were other excuses for their career not going the way they hoped. Like, were they really originally pitched for the lead in 'Camp Rock' and then strung along for years only to be passed over for the up-and-coming Demi Lovato? Did they really inspire a 'Hannah Montana'-esque series only for Disney to dump it in favor of the Miley Cyrus version? Did the guy from 'Step Up' really refuse to learn his lines or choreo simply because he wasn't physically attracted to the author? We tend to read memoirs as factual because the people writing them (or sharing their stories with a ghostwriter) are the people who lived them, but the author establishing themself as an unreliable narrator so early in this book – especially with something that could've been so easily fact-checked, shame on the editors – made me a little leery of other anecdotes and incidents they share down the line, which isn't ideal for a reader.
October 29, 2025
I find it ironic that Alyson stoner took time to critic her experience on Ellen and how it was clearly just a way for Ellen to promote her own show etc. and then Alyson takes the next chapter (and arguably) this whole book to do the exact same thing but with her own mental health / therapy type ventures.
If anything I think it just illustrates to me no matter how self aware you think you are, there is no self awareness in Hollywood.
This memoir was fine but like others have mentioned it seemed rather performative and despite being open about certain mental health struggles (eating disorders, addiction etc.) there was still a lack of personal vulnerability. It is hard to articulate unless you have read the memoir but the tone was odd. Alyson clearly struggled and growing up in Hollywood is not an enjoyable experience but it all seemed rather reductive and I was expecting more depth from the book. Especially given the clips I had seen her talking about it.
I think if you are someone who watched them growing up and actively follow them and have an interest in them, this memoir is probably for you. But don’t go into it expecting Jeanette McCurdy’s I’m glad my mom died because they are two totally different types of memoirs.
If anything I think it just illustrates to me no matter how self aware you think you are, there is no self awareness in Hollywood.
This memoir was fine but like others have mentioned it seemed rather performative and despite being open about certain mental health struggles (eating disorders, addiction etc.) there was still a lack of personal vulnerability. It is hard to articulate unless you have read the memoir but the tone was odd. Alyson clearly struggled and growing up in Hollywood is not an enjoyable experience but it all seemed rather reductive and I was expecting more depth from the book. Especially given the clips I had seen her talking about it.
I think if you are someone who watched them growing up and actively follow them and have an interest in them, this memoir is probably for you. But don’t go into it expecting Jeanette McCurdy’s I’m glad my mom died because they are two totally different types of memoirs.
September 13, 2025
Memoirs of celebs I love(d) are always a win baby!!! So glad that one of my childhood crushes is also queer!
October 30, 2025
It takes strength to put something like this into the world.
In a similar vein of I’m Glad my Mom Died, Actor-dancer Alyson Stoner peels back the shiny facade of Hollywood and Disney to show the neglect of child stars within.
It is painful to hear how picture-perfect idols struggled in silence through turbulent childhoods, demands of the industry, and self-inflicted trauma.
Despite Stoner realising the shortcomings of her parents, it is apparent she is still unable to critique them. Relying on other people’s accounts and opinions rather than being able to admit to her own. This I can understand. Despite airing dirty laundry about her family for everyone to pick apart, Stoner doesn’t reflect on what this meant emotionally. Rather, she shows the consequences.
From this memoir, I got the sense that Stoner remained naive and trusting a lot longer than she should have. As it’s a memoir, I can’t vouch or comment on its authenticity, but it is easy to see how reliant child stars grow up to be more easily manipulated.
I appreciated that she didn’t bash religion as a whole despite her own troubles and journey finding acceptance.
She is moving towards self-development and advocacy in all areas of her life.
I would recommend the audiobook as Stoner narrates it herself and there are even sound modulations for when she is relaying comments her younger self made or thought. She has an engaging voice and a strong narrative to relay.
Bookstagram
Tiktok
In a similar vein of I’m Glad my Mom Died, Actor-dancer Alyson Stoner peels back the shiny facade of Hollywood and Disney to show the neglect of child stars within.
It is painful to hear how picture-perfect idols struggled in silence through turbulent childhoods, demands of the industry, and self-inflicted trauma.
Despite Stoner realising the shortcomings of her parents, it is apparent she is still unable to critique them. Relying on other people’s accounts and opinions rather than being able to admit to her own. This I can understand. Despite airing dirty laundry about her family for everyone to pick apart, Stoner doesn’t reflect on what this meant emotionally. Rather, she shows the consequences.
From this memoir, I got the sense that Stoner remained naive and trusting a lot longer than she should have. As it’s a memoir, I can’t vouch or comment on its authenticity, but it is easy to see how reliant child stars grow up to be more easily manipulated.
I appreciated that she didn’t bash religion as a whole despite her own troubles and journey finding acceptance.
She is moving towards self-development and advocacy in all areas of her life.
I would recommend the audiobook as Stoner narrates it herself and there are even sound modulations for when she is relaying comments her younger self made or thought. She has an engaging voice and a strong narrative to relay.
Bookstagram
Tiktok
September 26, 2025
I don’t have much to add to this review that others haven’t. It’s heartbreaking, beautifully written, and you just want to hug her the entire time.
If you’d enjoyed Jeanette McCurdys book, this book is essentially the sister to I’m Glad My Mom Died.
If you’d enjoyed Jeanette McCurdys book, this book is essentially the sister to I’m Glad My Mom Died.
![Profile Image for laurel [the suspected bibliophile].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1645808644i%2F7494844._UX200_CR0%2C6%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
October 9, 2025
Alyson Stoner was THE highlight of Cheaper by the Dozen for me growing up. A tomboy? Absolutely yes. Sure, they were the annoying younger sibling in Mike's Super Short Show but it was still entertaining.
Of course, I didn't really follow their career at all, and was shocked when they seemed to 1) never blow up in their career and 2) faded from the spotlight.
So when I saw this book pop up on my feed it was like a blast from the past.
Stoner's story is one of child exploitation and manipulation, of the dangers of child stardom—from an absolutely rigorous workload and lacking educational prospects to exploitative adults to resulting body and mental health issues that result when a child is seen as a commodity instead of their own person.
Left achingly vulnerable to exploitation (read: evangelical Christianity) and encouraged to be ever-so-eager-to-please, Stoner's journey was often a hard one to read, similar in a lot of ways to I’m Glad My Mom Died and also a deeper insight into Disney High: The Untold Story of the Rise and Fall of Disney Channel's Tween Empire—where the latter often stopped short of really damning the Mouse and its ways, Stoner goes all in. Their story is one where they always seem to somehow cruise so close to super-stardom and then crash short, the opportunity removed and given to someone else who made it big: Demi Lovato, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Lawrence, and several other large names.
When they hit eighteen, Stoner realized that despite working literally nonstop since they were seven, they had amassed a grand total of $0 thanks to their management team and their mother's mismanagement and exploitation of funds—and despite all of the seeming protections put into place to protect their earnings. They had fallen into the trap of so many child stars.
Anywho, Stoner's long road to recovery and acceptance is also hard to read, and comes with heavy trigger warnings.
I did knock off one star because despite being a REALLY GOOD memoir of a child star, the epilogue is rife with product placements and advertisements of their mental health toolkits and other packages. Despite this, the memoir ends with a caution to never really trust anything at face value, and to advocate for firmer protections on child performers.
Of course, I didn't really follow their career at all, and was shocked when they seemed to 1) never blow up in their career and 2) faded from the spotlight.
So when I saw this book pop up on my feed it was like a blast from the past.
Stoner's story is one of child exploitation and manipulation, of the dangers of child stardom—from an absolutely rigorous workload and lacking educational prospects to exploitative adults to resulting body and mental health issues that result when a child is seen as a commodity instead of their own person.
Left achingly vulnerable to exploitation (read: evangelical Christianity) and encouraged to be ever-so-eager-to-please, Stoner's journey was often a hard one to read, similar in a lot of ways to I’m Glad My Mom Died and also a deeper insight into Disney High: The Untold Story of the Rise and Fall of Disney Channel's Tween Empire—where the latter often stopped short of really damning the Mouse and its ways, Stoner goes all in. Their story is one where they always seem to somehow cruise so close to super-stardom and then crash short, the opportunity removed and given to someone else who made it big: Demi Lovato, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Lawrence, and several other large names.
When they hit eighteen, Stoner realized that despite working literally nonstop since they were seven, they had amassed a grand total of $0 thanks to their management team and their mother's mismanagement and exploitation of funds—and despite all of the seeming protections put into place to protect their earnings. They had fallen into the trap of so many child stars.
Anywho, Stoner's long road to recovery and acceptance is also hard to read, and comes with heavy trigger warnings.
I did knock off one star because despite being a REALLY GOOD memoir of a child star, the epilogue is rife with product placements and advertisements of their mental health toolkits and other packages. Despite this, the memoir ends with a caution to never really trust anything at face value, and to advocate for firmer protections on child performers.
August 29, 2025
Odd vibes in this book. I don’t recommend listening to the audiobook, you’ll be ready to shove qtips too far into your ears after hearing the child voice she does
August 15, 2025
This one was one of my most anticipated August releases, and it didn’t disappoint. Alyson Stoner looks back on their child stardom with such maturity and writing from someone who has clearly put work into being who they are today. It’s a sad reality that we’re in the era of hearing of all of the trauma of the Hollywood machine as it relates to child stars, and it’s amazing to see Alyson using their experiences in ways to improve the way for those after them, and considering the impact of the digital age on youth and their development.
I think it’s difficult to put a rating on someone’s life experiences and trauma, but from a reading perspective I’d rate this 4.5/5, with the half star removal coming from the fact that there were some pacing choices where I wish they would have reflected a bit more. With that said though, I’m grateful for what they’ve decided to share with us.
I think it’s difficult to put a rating on someone’s life experiences and trauma, but from a reading perspective I’d rate this 4.5/5, with the half star removal coming from the fact that there were some pacing choices where I wish they would have reflected a bit more. With that said though, I’m grateful for what they’ve decided to share with us.
August 19, 2025
I listened to the audio book.
The two words I kept coming back to for this book were sincere and impassioned. This is a proper memoir for detail and nostalgia - the peek behind the curtain that I know drives so many to celebrity memoir. The things that they have gone through and detail in this book are both shocking and mundane: all the violences and traumas and exploitations you worry happen to child stars happened to them and my heart does ache for them.
But I found the writing style too much. It was impassioned, like I said, but in the way that a young writer who hasn’t learned that good writing doesn’t mean more adjectives and adverbs. I do not say this to condemn - they reiterate themselves that they were not afforded the basic forms of education or experiences typical of childhood and that includes learning to write in different ways. And to edit. This excess worked better when they wrote about their childhood - it expressed a naivety and curiosity about the world that reflected that age. Not my favourite but effective. But when it continued into their 20s I realised it wasn’t an affect, but their style. Which wasn’t for me.
I admire them for doing what they can to wrench purpose from a life that was repeatedly and purposely derailed by the adults around them. Their discovery of the joy of queer intimacy brought me back to my baby gay days. The descriptions of anorexia particularly rocketed me back to my own, parallel experience. I hope this was cathartic for them because they deserve that.
The two words I kept coming back to for this book were sincere and impassioned. This is a proper memoir for detail and nostalgia - the peek behind the curtain that I know drives so many to celebrity memoir. The things that they have gone through and detail in this book are both shocking and mundane: all the violences and traumas and exploitations you worry happen to child stars happened to them and my heart does ache for them.
But I found the writing style too much. It was impassioned, like I said, but in the way that a young writer who hasn’t learned that good writing doesn’t mean more adjectives and adverbs. I do not say this to condemn - they reiterate themselves that they were not afforded the basic forms of education or experiences typical of childhood and that includes learning to write in different ways. And to edit. This excess worked better when they wrote about their childhood - it expressed a naivety and curiosity about the world that reflected that age. Not my favourite but effective. But when it continued into their 20s I realised it wasn’t an affect, but their style. Which wasn’t for me.
I admire them for doing what they can to wrench purpose from a life that was repeatedly and purposely derailed by the adults around them. Their discovery of the joy of queer intimacy brought me back to my baby gay days. The descriptions of anorexia particularly rocketed me back to my own, parallel experience. I hope this was cathartic for them because they deserve that.
August 22, 2025
In terms of the literary efficacy of this novel: it’s written in the same present tense style as Jeanette Mccurdy’s memoir but not executed as well.
Stories are retold through the lens of Alyson’s emotional development at the same age as the story. For Jeanette, this feels like a preservation mechanism to protect against internalizing or feeling anything happening around her, but for Alyson it doesn’t land as cleanly with trauma less obscene. Instead, stories sometimes felt half baked - lacking detail or depth in the earlier years.
The pacing also felt stilted, spending 20 pages on a single day and then skipping a year or two ahead without notice.
In terms of the content: Jesus. In both the religious extremism aspect of Jesus (there was so much of it), but also Jesus I can’t believe what these child actors go through.
Alyson seems to have taken the reins back on her life by the end and I’m happy for her for it. She never deserved any of this.
Stories are retold through the lens of Alyson’s emotional development at the same age as the story. For Jeanette, this feels like a preservation mechanism to protect against internalizing or feeling anything happening around her, but for Alyson it doesn’t land as cleanly with trauma less obscene. Instead, stories sometimes felt half baked - lacking detail or depth in the earlier years.
The pacing also felt stilted, spending 20 pages on a single day and then skipping a year or two ahead without notice.
In terms of the content: Jesus. In both the religious extremism aspect of Jesus (there was so much of it), but also Jesus I can’t believe what these child actors go through.
Alyson seems to have taken the reins back on her life by the end and I’m happy for her for it. She never deserved any of this.
August 12, 2025
One thing I’ve learned about Alyson Stoner: their concern for others runs deep. The pressure they carried as a child (whether forced or self-imposed) was far too much for one person, let alone a kid.
I’m grateful not just for their stories, but for the advocacy, the resources, and the courage to speak the uncomfortable truths. Reading this ARC early means I get to sit with these thoughts and join the conversation.
Alyson, you’re beyond worthy of being a lead character. Maybe it’s just a different role than you expected ✨ and it’s changing lives ✨
I’m grateful not just for their stories, but for the advocacy, the resources, and the courage to speak the uncomfortable truths. Reading this ARC early means I get to sit with these thoughts and join the conversation.
Alyson, you’re beyond worthy of being a lead character. Maybe it’s just a different role than you expected ✨ and it’s changing lives ✨
Read
November 18, 2025Écouté sur audible 🎧 Omg 😭😭 C’est tellement intéressant (et révoltant et triste et inquiétant) d’en savoir plus sur l’expérience des “child star” qu’on voyait à la télé dans notre jeunesse. J’étais absolument captivée par son histoire.
*Pas de note comme c’est un mémoire
*Pas de note comme c’est un mémoire
August 26, 2025
I normally don't give memoirs 5 stars, but Alyson Stoner deserves all the stars. She balanced the shock and disfunction of Hollywood (which is widely talked about now from previous child stars) with eloquent and thorough research. You can tell this project was a long time coming for her and she actually did the work in making it a beacon of hope for a new generation of young stars.
I've always been a fan of Alyson- I related to her tomboy-ness in her younger years. What she has done with her life after Hollywood grew tired of her makes me proud. There are so many cautionary tales in this book, but also words of wisdom and insight into creating a more positive culture around body image, societal standards, and how quickly we expect children to grow up. A must read!
I've always been a fan of Alyson- I related to her tomboy-ness in her younger years. What she has done with her life after Hollywood grew tired of her makes me proud. There are so many cautionary tales in this book, but also words of wisdom and insight into creating a more positive culture around body image, societal standards, and how quickly we expect children to grow up. A must read!
August 15, 2025
This was so good and so heartbreaking. Really beautifully written. Sad to think the little kid in some of my favorite movies growing up was going through so much😢
September 18, 2025
Alyson Stoner (b. 1993) is an American entertainer and former child actor-turned-advocate for better treatment of child actors. Stoner, who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, is probably best known for their work on Disney Channel, including Camp Rock and various voice acting roles, as well as the Step Up movie franchise. Their 2025 memoir, Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, recounts the highs and lows of their acting career from the perception of their child self doing their level best to please the adults in their life, their struggle with fame, eating disorders, mental health, and religious faith, and the difficult lessons they learned when betrayed by several people whom they had trusted implicitly.
Though I remain inherently skeptical of memoirs written by young people as often they haven't had enough life experiences and years of life to fully contextualize and somewhat universalize their life experiences (Stoner was 32 when this book was published), I do think this memoir demonstrates a lot of self-growth and maturity. In Stoner's case, years of therapy and study of psychology have allowed them to further understand and accept themselves, recognize and process their own feelings, and have more nuanced, clear-eyed, and even compassionate views of their family members, fellow actors, and those in the entertainment industry who've shaped their story. For those that use the MBTI framework, Stoner to me comes off very clearly as an ENFJ (the same type as Oprah Winfrey, and, somewhat paradoxically, Demi Lovato -- though Lovato represents more of an unhealthy archetype of ENFJs being emotionally manipulative), so it makes sense that their early life was focused so heavily on being attuned to the emotions and fulfilling the aspirations of others (read: people pleasing), at the expense of their own needs and emotions. As Stoner has matured and learned some lessons the hard way, they've retained their compassion and empathy for others, while also granting that same grace and understanding to themselves.
Further reading: children in the entertainment industry
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
Over the Influence: A Memoir by Joanna "JoJo"" Levesque | my review
Disney High: The Untold Story of the Rise and Fall of Disney Channel's Tween Empire by Ashley Spencer | my review
My statistics:
Book 286 for 2025
Book 2212 cumulatively
Though I remain inherently skeptical of memoirs written by young people as often they haven't had enough life experiences and years of life to fully contextualize and somewhat universalize their life experiences (Stoner was 32 when this book was published), I do think this memoir demonstrates a lot of self-growth and maturity. In Stoner's case, years of therapy and study of psychology have allowed them to further understand and accept themselves, recognize and process their own feelings, and have more nuanced, clear-eyed, and even compassionate views of their family members, fellow actors, and those in the entertainment industry who've shaped their story. For those that use the MBTI framework, Stoner to me comes off very clearly as an ENFJ (the same type as Oprah Winfrey, and, somewhat paradoxically, Demi Lovato -- though Lovato represents more of an unhealthy archetype of ENFJs being emotionally manipulative), so it makes sense that their early life was focused so heavily on being attuned to the emotions and fulfilling the aspirations of others (read: people pleasing), at the expense of their own needs and emotions. As Stoner has matured and learned some lessons the hard way, they've retained their compassion and empathy for others, while also granting that same grace and understanding to themselves.
Further reading: children in the entertainment industry
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
Over the Influence: A Memoir by Joanna "JoJo"" Levesque | my review
Disney High: The Untold Story of the Rise and Fall of Disney Channel's Tween Empire by Ashley Spencer | my review
My statistics:
Book 286 for 2025
Book 2212 cumulatively
August 30, 2025
Read - Aug 29 2025
Don't think I ever realized how much of her work I had watched growing up. It's awful what some of these kids went through (and still go through) in Hollywood. I'm glad so many actors are bringing this to light. While the writing and formatting wasn't my favorite it was still a well done and impactful book.
Don't think I ever realized how much of her work I had watched growing up. It's awful what some of these kids went through (and still go through) in Hollywood. I'm glad so many actors are bringing this to light. While the writing and formatting wasn't my favorite it was still a well done and impactful book.
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