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Kindle Edition
Published May 20, 2025
“Hell is too cold. Chu Wanning, I’ll take you to the grave with me.”
“I want you to rot with me.”
So, it turned out that the most disgusting thing in this world was not ghosts or demons, but those cowardly, worthless beasts who wore human skins and hid in the crowd, willing to say and to do anything in the name of their own survival. At the end of everything, they would say, “I only wanted to live. I’m pitiful and powerless—I’ve done nothing wrong.”
The person he liked, in this life and the last, was Shi Mei. But for some reason, moments before death, he had chosen to bury himself under the haitang tree in front of the Heaven-Piercing Tower, where he had first met Chu Wanning.
Whether in their previous lifetime or this one, Chu Wanning’s scent always seemed to soothe him. In his past life, whenever he returned from a bloodbath, he had always needed to bury his face in the crook of his shizun’s neck just to breathe again.

When [Mo Ran] was young, he had wanted to be a good person. But that small, gentle wish of his, much like other little wishes () had become nothing more than memories, blown away by the wind and scattered in the snow.
“I’m human too…”
I also feel sorrow and pain. Mo Ran… I also feel pain.

“Don’t cry. You’re already great.”
His voice wasn’t quite gentle, but when those words came from Chu Wanning’s mouth, they were indescribably soft.





"Shixiong." Chu Wanning had meant to emphasize the sinecerity of his words, but with this young, tender voice, it came out all softly adorable instead, almost like he was acting cute.
[...]
He opened his mouth again, and out came a soft, saccharine sweet: "Ge."
"..."
"Gege."
"......"
"Mo Ran-gege."
"Aaaaah. Okay, okay. I'll take you. Stop saying that! Alright, fine. Come along, then. You win, okay? You win. Oh my god."











"H-h-how dare you, you--?"
"Why wouldn't I dare?" Chu Wanning gazed at her, unimpressed. "What ought I be afraid of?" He paused, then pulled Mo Ran closer. "Listen up: This person is mine. I'm taking him."

Mo Ran hadn't even recovered from his shock at Chu Wanning's sudden god-like descent before he was smashed into smithereens by the words, "This person is mine."
"Sh...Shizun..."
"Shut your trap." Chu Wanning's face was as impassive as ever.





"Hell is too cold. Chu Wanning, I'll take you to the grave with me."


Whether in their previous lifetime or this one, Chu Wanning's scent always seemed to soothe him. In his past life, whenever he returned from a bloodbath, he had always needed to burry his face in the crook of his shizun's neck just to breath again.

He had clearly committed countless sins, but he was nothing more than a drenched stray with no home to speak of.
At such times, he would sit and wrap his arms around Chu Wanning's waist, bury his face against his abdomen, and have his shizun stroke his hair over and over again. It was the only way to calm the madness within.



Mo Ran's voice was husky, his breath heavy and opressive. "Let me screw you, and I'll let you have what you demand."
Chu Wanning's eyes shot wide open, the wetness in his gaze colored with arousal, but even more with disbelief.

Mo Ran paused before pulling him in even closer, still stroking his waist.
"So really, think it over. If you're willing, then get on your knees like a good boy and put your mouth to work. Serve me well. Then go spread yourself on the bed and beg me to fuck you."

"Nn..."
The noise that Chu Wanning let out between the slides of warm wetness drove Mo Ran mad. All those words about not liking him, hating him, and never touching him again, all of them vaporized into thin air.

Since rebirth, he has been loath to be intimate with Chu Wanning because of the resentment he harbored toward him, but kissing him now was pure ecstasy.
It was a high so intense that it ate away at him, like the first taste of sweet dew on the tongue of a traveler dying of thirst in the desert, like being enveloped in the soft warmth of a fur coat heated over a fire in the bitter cold of a freezing night.

They had once slept in each other's arms; now they slept with an invisible barrier between them.
In their last lifetime, they had been skin to skin, limbs entangled, and on particularly frenzied days, Mo Ran hadn't even pulled out after making love to him.
These two, who had once been so intimate, now lay on opposite ends of the bed to sleep.
5 'Beautifully painfull' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
5 'My baby shizun' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
4,5 'Wontons, stairs, and Mo Ran's childhood' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐
4,5 'Farm arc' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐
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