Aspertools: The Practical Guide for Understanding and Embracing Asperger's, Autism Spectrum Disorders, and Neurodiversity

by Harold Reitman

If you ask Dr. Harold Reitman, labels are a lousy way to describe a unique human being, whether it's Asperger's, high functioning autism, ADHD, dyslexia, Tourette's or even the so-called neurotypical brain itself. One size does not fit all. Everyone's brain is different.

Helping others 'get it' when it comes to dealing with those with so-called learning disabilities is why Reitman has written this book. It's also why he wrote and produced The Square Root of 2, a movie about a college student who encounters—and fights—her school's unjust system. The film was inspired by the real events faced by his daughter and contributing author, Rebecca, when she went to college; her seizure disorder and—at the time—undiagnosed Asperger syndrome posed unique challenges not faced by most students.

After reviewing the scientific community's research, conducted over the last nearly 40 years, Dr. Reitman believes that it's time to not just accept neurodiversity, but to embrace it, and this book will help people do just that. It is the first book to offer simple tools, action plans and resources to help understand and deal with anyone whose brain is a bit different. The astonishing rate of autism births alone (1 in 68) means that society will have to adapt to neurodiversity, just as it has had to adapt to other cultural and racial differences. Our educational system, our workplaces, and society at large will no longer be one size fits all—each individual will have the opportunity to maximize their potential—and we will be the better for it.

Dr. Harold "Hackie" Reitman is an orthopedic surgeon, a former professional and Golden Gloves champion heavyweight boxer, philanthropist, and a movie producer. His recent release, The Square Root of 2, is a fictionalized adaptation of his daughter Rebecca's challenges at college (TheSquareRootOf2.com).

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Parenting, Adhd, Health

240 pages, Paperback

First published April 7, 2015

About the author

Dr. Harold "Hackie" Reitman is an orthopedic surgeon, a former professional and Golden Gloves champion heavyweight boxer, philanthropist, and a movie producer. His recent release, The Square Root of 2, is a fictionalized adaptation of his daughter Rebecca's challenges at college (TheSquareRootOf2.com).

Reviews

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 stars for what I read. DNF @ 33%. I really wanted to like this book. I liked some of the information in it, but unfortunately I found the author's style too annoying to continue reading. YMMV.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book, written by a neurotypical person, is helpful on a basic level for those who are parents or care takers of individuals with aspergers. Harold Reitman writes this book as hes looking back on his relationship with his daughter after learning more about her diagnosis. For those new to the diagnoses it offers a way in to understanding the basics of how those with aspergers experience daily life and its struggles. It touches on many different challenges (from time management to emotional regulation and more) and offers solutions that can be applied to those with a large range of executive dysfunction (like ADHD) or learning disabilities outside of an aspergers diagnosis as well.

Unfortunately, he does not offer any revelatory "aspertools" for the individuals with aspergers themselves and often comes off as patronizing as if the parent is the one who needs to regulate everything for their child. This is discourteous to those who deal with executive dysfunction in their own lives, and may seem to be dis-empowering if you are an aspie reading this yourself. Reitman could have done more to offer tools to those diagnosed themselves by including his daughter more heavily in the making of this book, but instead went the route of the "no-longer-clueless" parent pedestal. He does however include insights from her and her aid at the ends of each section which offers a lot in the way of personal insight to his methods.

Overall this is a good book, even if the title is a bit misleading. It would be good for a parent struggling with their own perfect idea of parenting a neurodiverse child and the hardships that come with that (especially if your child was diagnosed later in life). For aspies themselves and parents who are more educated in their approach to parenthood, this will probably not offer anything you have not heard before.

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Lili · Rating 3 out of 5]

From Netgalley for a Review:

Oh man, this book is both good and immensely frustrating. The name of the book and description made it seem like it would be a book geared towards people with Asperger's Syndrome and neurotypical people, helping both cope with the world. Aspertools is a tool mainly for the people without Asperger's, it explains using stories (thanks a lot to the author's daughter and his experience dealing with her) how we aspies deal with the world. I was especially fond of the anxiety and sensory chapters, they really hit the nail on the head on what it is like being an aspie.

So I recommend this book the the friends, parents, teachers and such that have an aspie in their life, but for us aspies, this is not a tool. Like some of the other reviewers I found the author's tone a little self aggrandizing at times, and found myself quite frequently thinking 'I don't care about you or your experiences, I am reading this to try to find tools to help me function in the world, not learn about your life.' So your mileage may vary with this.

[Ell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an important read. Who hasn’t encountered someone who has Asperger’s traits or syndrome or who falls on the autism spectrum disorder? Kudos to author Harold Reitman for advancing understanding and advocacy for everyone! Each chapter tackles a new topic relevant to Asperger’s traits. The book is clear, concise, practical, pragmatic and easy to read. I recommend it to parents, teachers, family and friends of anyone considered atypical. I took off one star because I felt like the author may have concluded that all introverts are Aspies too. He reminisces frequently about several people he has met that are not extroverted or are passionate about something and concludes their lack of extroversion means they had Asperger’s. I feel that over-diagnosing has become a bit of a problem in modern day society.

[Jen La Duca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never read a book directly related to Asperger’s Syndrome so I was extremely happy to be given the opportunity to read “Aspertools” by Dr. Harold Reitman. My 19 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD at the age of 5 and many times throughout the years doctors would tell us that he also displayed many Asperger tendencies. Yet we were never told definitively if he was positively diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome or what all these tendencies meant. As a parent this becomes increasing frustrating, how are you supposed to help your child without a proper diagnosis or the proper tools?

Dr. Harold Reitman has put so much into perspective for me with his book! I felt like he was speaking directly to me regarding my son. I only wish that I had this information and knew of these tools and resources when our son was young. This isn’t just for parents though, anyone who knows or even works with someone with Asperger Syndrome would benefit greatly from reading this book. The rapidly increasing rate at which children are being born with Asperger Syndrome or any varying degree of Autism is staggering. We need to stop lumping children and adults who have these learning disabilities into one category because, as Dr. Reitman explains in his book, everyone’s brain is different. We as a society must start educating ourselves and “Aspertools” is a great place to start!

**Thank you to Dr. Harold Reitman, publishers HCI Books, and NetGalley for the complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review**

[Tom Law · Rating 5 out of 5]

The material presented by Reitman is phenomenal. I, like most people who do not have an “Aspie” in my family, am relatively ignorant about this issue and how to work with those who do. Although the presentation is made to help those with Asperger’s all of the material presented is good for all of us. In fact, the world would be a better place if we would take what Reitman is saying to heart and practice it in all situations. We all need to be treated with a little (or a lot) patience and we need to treat others that way as well. As Reitman’s daughter, Rebecca says, “Brains are like snowflakes – no two are alike.” Respecting and celebrating that difference will make a world of difference.

[Kirsten Lost 2022 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to buy this for everyone I know!

I thought the book would provide tools for Aspies, as per the title, but it's written for friends and family of Aspies instead. This is why it has 4 stars instead of 5.

That aside, this is a really great guide to how your aspie feels, why they behave the way they do, how to help them learn and achieve their best and how to get the most out of your relationship with them.

I genuinely want to buy this book for everyone I know, because it verbalises my thoughts and feelings and behaviours far better than I ever could!

Thanks to Netgalley for the read.

[Gina Marie ~books are my drug of choice~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aspertools by Harold Reitman, MD with Pati Fizzano and Rebecca Reitman
5 stars

This book is written by a doctor but this book is written as a father. This book presents the difficulties those with aspergers or other differnet neurological brains. Each chapter presents an issue that those with different brains may have in clear simple language. To make it easier for readers to understand each issue he presents an "imagine this happening to you" thisis followed withan explaination of whatyour person with the aspie brain isexperiencing and clear informationon how to handle the issue. The final two sections are written by Pati Fizzano who is a special education teacher who works with children with different brains and his daughter Rebecca who was diagnosed after college with aspergers but, who was born with multiple brain tumors and survived three brain surgeries.
Pati's section talks about how she uses the tool presented in a setting with real students. Rebecca talks about how she experiences the issue and how the tool works for her or how she deals with the issue.
This book is great for family and friends who have someone with a different brain in ther life. Their brain may be different because they have Asperger's, are on the spectrum, have ADD or ADHD, have a traumatic brain injury or other neurological or psychiatric issues. This book gives the tools for them to have a calmer and more full life.
It is a fast read but I would suggest taking the time to absorb each chapter that fits your unique brained person. I learned quite bit about things that can make life easier for me as I havea traumatic brain injury. Some I already knew, some I knew about but needed the explainations to help me understand how they would help me. I plan to buy a copy of this book for both my family and for the helping professionals that work with me. This is a fantastic and very accessible book providing explanations and tools to understand and help make life easier and more accessable for those with different brains.
I received a free copy of this book fromthe publisher on netgalley.com in return for a fair and honest reveiw.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aspertools: The Practical Guide for Understanding and Embracing Asperger's, Autism Spectrum Disorders, and Neurodiversity
By Harold Reitman, M.D. with Pati Fizzano and Rebecca Reitman

April 2015

Non-fiction

Although this book was published in 2015, I received a complimentary digital copy from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

Honestly, it was interesting for me to read the mixed reviews when the book was first published. Many comments expressed frustration that there are no “tools” in Aspertools. I think the rest of the title explains more precisely the purpose of the book: “The Practical Guide for Understanding and Embracing Asperger's, Autism Spectrum Disorders, and Neurodiversity”. It’s more of a guide written from a father’s perspective of the journey he experienced with his daughter.

“In other words, don’t view the Aspertools in this book as designed to help someone who has Asperger’s; view them as designed to help an individual who has many special qualities and who also happens to have a few Asperger’s traits, or even the whole enchilada we call Asperger’s syndrome.”

It is often difficult for people to understand and embrace the challenges that both the child and parent experience life with “neurodiversity”. I also found comments in other reviews interesting regarding the author’s reference to his own self importance. As a parent with a child possessing such unique individual qualities, I can understand how one can feel “lost or forgotten” while immersed in the care of a gifted child. I am also a well educated medical professional who often feels inept with the overwhelming responsibility to ensure my child succeeds.

[Kodjo Satchey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read a few Asperger's books and this one definitely is the easiest to approach. The little stories throughout are great, very inspiring. Really quick read and talks about adults and employers and friends too...not just for parents. Good one!

[Eden Grey]

Very frustrating book. Helps people w/o AS understand how it works. Does NOT help people with AS learn tools or tips or actions to better "deal" with their "condition". basically a book full of stories that aren't practical or helpful at all which is what people with AS actually need. Maybe I'll have my mom read it to better understand me, but I was misled by the innacurate title!

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent!

[Mike Nickas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read for anybody that knows someone, or has a loved one, who may be considered neurodiverse!

[Angel Graham · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent book for the parent or loved one of a person with Asperger's, or someone who simply learns differently.

Written by a father of an Aspie daughter, he happens to also be a doctor...but this book is written in his capacity as a father. a well-intentioned father with much to learn, and he and his daughter share their insights with us.

There are some good ideas for all of us, not just the Aspies person contained within. A definite keeper for me.

The only reason for the 4 star is the formatting was rather wonky making reading rather dificult.

[H. Givens · Rating 3 out of 5]

Offputtingly chirpy and written by a neurotypical person, and the information is pretty basic, but as a primer on Aspie issues it could be a good start.

[Jordan Maitlen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was very little (couldn’t tell you what age… I forgot to ask dad before I started writing this review😂). I know it was likely in my single-digits though.

Now I’m 26 and finally deciding to actually learn much more about myself, my ASD, and what kind of person I can be going forward. I want to know my limits, set my boundaries, figure out what I even want to do with my life… I want to better understand myself.

Anyway, I won’t bore you with all of the details, but I am currently taking therapy (for more reasons than one) and reading up more on ASD. I stumbled upon this book at one of my favorite used-book stores, and bought it in hopes that I could… Maybe get some sort of insight? Or better understand myself?

I don’t know that I’d disagree with any of these reviews honestly. I can see why my fellow “aspies” maybe didn’t gain much from this, and I can also see where our parents and loved ones of aspies thought it was very insightful and gave the book more than 3 stars.

I should say that I ~mostly~ understand my ASD. I have a friend with it as well and have really enjoyed exchanging notes. He describes things that I live with to a T, something no one else has been able to do.

But even so, I will say that the way Harold Reitman describes Autism here is very spot-on. I especially like how he explained our anxiety, our hyper-interests, our meltdowns (they’re more like inner-panic attacks for me), our social-awkwardness, and how we take things so literally.

Those were the best chapters for me, and I’ll admit it; I learned a bit about myself reading those. I guess I do actually have a bit of anxiety. Not servere anxiety, but I related to that chapter more than I thought I would. His description of meltdowns reminded me of how dramatic and loud I was as a child who had tantrums for (seemingly at the time) no reason.

So in those regards I absolutely recommend this book for those wanting to learn more about Autism Spectrum Disorder, rather you be a teacher, parent, family-member, friend, co-worker or whatever. I feel like it’d be a decent start to understanding it at least.

If you are someone who Autism, your patience and tolerance will just depend on your feelings toward the writing structure, and what exactly you want to gain from putting aside time for a quick read. A lot of the last half in particular felt more like action plans for dealing with KIDS who have Autism. Which was a little boring for me because I’m not a parent. I have no clue if I ever will be, but hey, I’ll keep the book on the off-chance that I end up having an Autistic child!

Personally, I don’t like it when books have super-long chapters, words literally going from the very top of the page to the very bottom, tiny print, etc. Thankfully this had none of that, and I loved reading the paragraphs from Harold’s autistic daughter, Rebecca. SHE should write a book.

I don’t think this is a bad book though. It’s super short, I read it in two sittings, and it never made me feel belittled or attacked for being the way I am. And I personally enjoyed reading all of Harold and Rebecca’s stories and interactions they’ve had with people in their lives.

Manage your expectations with this one! I’ll be recommending it to my friends and family who are interested for sure. And my own journey to figuring myself out does not stop here!

[Lorena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like that this book offers three different perspectives on living with autism spectrum disorders and other types of neurological differences. While the author is a medical doctor, he is writing from the perspective of the parent of an adult child with what used to be called Asperger's syndrome. The book also features tips from an exceptional student education (ESE) teacher and from his daughter, who is on the spectrum.

The book offers practical tools, at least some of which are likely to be helpful for a wide audience. I like that it emphasized individual differences and that neurodiversity is becoming more the rule than the exception. I also really like the way the author helped readers understand what life might be like for people on the spectrum with frequent "Imagine you're an Aspie" thought experiments. Those were, for me, probably the most useful part of the book.

I did find the text somewhat repetitive, and it didn't go into as much detail on some topics as I would have preferred.

I was provided an advanced reader's copy (ARC) through Net Galley that I volunteered to review. Because I have not seen the final published version, I cannot comment on the final formatting or how well edited the book is. The ARC I reviewed had significant editing and formatting problems that may or may not be resolved. Assuming all of these problems have been satisfactorily cleaned up, this might actually be a 4-star book.

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book written by Dr Reitman he talks about life with neurotypical and neuro diverse people in our lives. He believes that labels aren't needed because all brains really are different. With his daughter Rebecca and her coach Pati Fizzano they talk about ways to help get through all kinds of situations with love and patience. For me this book was very well written, each chapter dealing with different aspects of situations you might encounter with someone on the spectrum. Each chapter is broken into 3 parts; the first part is Dr. Reitman explaining the character trait and examples of how he did not deal well with it when Rebecca was younger. The second section is from Pati Fizzano as a special needs teacher and how best to deal with the situations from her perspective; and the last part is from Rebecca. Rebecca explains from her perspective as a neurodiverse woman and child what she was dealing with and how to handle those situations. As a mother of someone on the spectrum it was very helpful to see all sides. As Rebecca and Pati point out it is not always easy for people to explain why they react to certain things the way they do. Throughout the book patience and love are stronger encouraged. This book is very insightful and reassuring. I believe I have taken away a better understanding of neurodiverse characteristics, and in the end no matter whether someone you love is on the spectrum of not love a nd patience is most important.

[Dorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aspertools: The Practical Guide for Understanding and Embracing Aspergers, Autism Spectrum Disorder and Neurodiversity
by Harold Reitman
2015
HCI Books

Many parents, siblings and caretakers have, at one time, had a child with autism and have struggled to reach that child. This is a concise and thorough guide, written by a parent of a child with Aspergers, not as a professional authority, to share what he has learned from working with his amazing daughter, Rebecca.
Rebecca has Aspergers, had 23 brain tumors and underwent 2 major brain surgeries at the Mayo Clinic as a toddler. She went on to be accepted to the prestigious University of Georgia where she earned a degree in Discrete Mathematics. She then decided she wanted to work with others with Aspergers, and has been working with them since.
This gives you a complete understanding of how the person with Aspergers feels as well as suggestions of how to help them deal with it, and help you to deal with it as well.
One of the biggest problems in education is that we divide children into classrooms not based on their abilities or strengths but by the year of their birth. The one size fits all approach does not work and is especially obvious when working with Autism.
Enlightening and positive, this is a must have guide. Its clear, no-nonsense approach could work with many children.
Thank you to HCI Books for sending this for review.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was intrigued by this book when I first read the title and description. But I was also...nervous? My brother and I are both atypical/neurodiverse in our own way, and our experiences have been vastly different in dealing with it and finding what works for us. Most of the books I've read that deal with aspergers, autism spectrum disorders, and other neurodiversity issues often overlook certain things: like taking into account what the person with the diversity wants, that each experience and person is different, even with the same diagnosis, and to find out what works best, you have to be willing to work with and listen to the person you are trying to help. Not only is this stressed repeatedly throughout the book - you get 3 distinct point of views, throughout. The concerned and once clueless parent, a teacher who specializes in helping the neurodiverse, and someone who lives it everyday. I plan on getting this book for my husband and parents, even though they've done an amazing job of adapting to me and my brother, I think this will bring a new level of understanding to everything.

Received for review

[Janna]

I was really interested in reading this book. I have a degree in psychology and I’m almost finished with a masters as well so I wanted learn more about Asperger’s and about the autism spectrum. This book was really interesting and I learned a lot from it.
Although this is not directly my field I always think it’s important to understand as much as possible about things like these.
I would prefer this book as a physical book mainly because I like to go back to my textbooks, but still this was a good book.

[Stell · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars. There is some useful information for parents or caregivers of people on the Spectrum but nothing that isn’t already available online. However it is good for when first receiving a child’s diagnosis and not knowing anything about ASD. I found a lot of the authors stories a bit annoying and not really necessary.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to find a book to help me understand my boyfriend's autistic son and this had a lot of helpful information in it. Plus it was blessedly a quick read and had advice not only from the father of an autistic young woman (the main author) but also insights from the daughter as well, which was doubly helpful.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short chapters, each describing a way to help a child on the high functioning end of the Autism Spectrum.

[Amy Moniz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Based on this book...everyone has aspergers, but there are some good tips if you deal with someone who has severe aspergers.

[Jess T · Rating 3 out of 5]

The tips and firsthand accounts were very helpful. The tone itself was frustrating, very self congratulatory and condescending however accidental the tone was consistent.

[Katthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

use of the puzzle piece metaphor less than ideal but otherwise has some good information

[Tina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Cannot recommend due to problematic content.

[Kathryn Johnson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some good tips in here but also a lot of outdated information/lingo and why was an chapter required to tell people to love their child unconditionally? :(

[Carroll Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent of two children diagnosed on the spectrum from the age of 4, I appreciated this book. I have been on this journey with my family for the last twelve years. Although I have read tons of articles and researched Asperger's Syndrome and all the "how to's", I still find that I appreciate the personal insights of someone else who has been on this journey just as long and longer.

This book did not offer me any new information. However, it did give me continued affirmation that the things we experience as a family and individually with my spectrum kids are not unusual and isolated. I also found several "nuggets" of perspective that either I hadn't thought about before or was pleasantly reminded about. I enjoyed the three perspective approach of the father, Aspie daughter, and her teacher/mentor.

If you are looking for a book full of new revelations and solid advice or "how to's" this isn't the book for you. If you are looking for nuggets of ideas, reminders, and affirmation then give this book a try. I found it helpful, informative, and an enjoyable read with a few new thoughts and ideas.