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257 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication February 10, 2026
When we emigrated, something about my dad’s condition, something about how he conflated the present with the past, kept me feeling safe—like we were bringing a little of the old Istanbul with us. It wasn’t so bad to leave the apartment I had grown up in, it wasn’t so bad to become an exile, it wasn’t so bad that our homeland was in ruins, because we had with us a little old man carrying its halcyon days in a kerchief on a stick. His voice came from before all the loss. The way he talked was a bridge to our lives left behind. Maybe that is what we do—the children, I mean: we make our parents into portals.
The guard, who really could have been my contractor in disguise, seemed genuinely shocked to see me. “What, what is this?” he exclaimed in Turkish. He paused with a stupefied look on his face, and I asked him in Italian to explain himself. Confused, he asked me in Turkish what I wanted. “Where am I?” I responded in Turkish. “Are you sick? Silivri Prison.” I was growing impatient. “That’s not right. This is supposed to be a waterfall shower with two heads and massaging jets and a marble bench.” “Massaging jets, haha! No, this is the prison.” “But what’s it doing in my bathroom?” I asked.