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What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To: A Memoir

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An iconic rock DJ of the Twin Cities tells her harrowing story of being stalked while living her very public life

What’s it like to be in the public spotlight when it just might get you killed? For Mary Lucia, becoming a wildly popular rock DJ meant connecting with a multitude of fans through a shared love of music and deep cuts. But for one listener, that connection became a dangerous obsession, catapulting Lucia into the terrifying three-year nightmare that she chronicles in this raw, wry, and profoundly courageous memoir. With electrifying wit and anger, Lucia shares her experience of navigating constant terror while life absurdly goes interview rock stars, curate a radio show song list, judge high school battles of the band, kick a drug addiction cold turkey . . . all while fearing what might be waiting in her mailbox or who might be waiting on her front step or at her back door.

Lucia was no stranger to inappropriate or weird contact from fans, but things turned sinister when ten pounds of raw meat were delivered to her at work, followed by a steady stream of ominous letters, cards, packages, and messages. When the letters included threats to her dogs’ safety, she tried to get help, but without a name and return address on these communications there was nothing she could do. As the stalker’s actions escalated, Lucia felt more and more isolated. Police responding to her 911 calls were insensitive and dismissive, and even her friends implied that being stalked was just a hazard of her high-profile job and her high-energy personality. No one seemed to take seriously the danger she faced.

Inseparable from this ordeal is the story of how Mary Lucia became the notorious radio malcontent known by so many avid listeners. From the good, bad, and weird of growing up in her eccentric family to drugs, death, and dogs, Lucia finally shares her life on her own terms in What Doesn’t Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To. Applying her signature dark humor to her own traumatic experiences, Lucia’s memoir is idiosyncratic, bold, and—ironically—relatable.

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160 pages, Hardcover

Published November 25, 2025

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Mary Lucia

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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
Profile Image for Erin.
3,128 reviews406 followers
August 31, 2025
ARC for review. To be published November 25, 2025.

3.5 stars

This interesting memoir is about a popular Minneapolis DJ who is stalked, but the book is broken up by the author’s reminiscences and general thoughts on life because she didn’t want the book to be too much of a downer.

I’m not from Minneapolis and I knew exactly nothing about Mary Lucia but I was interested in a real life case of stalking, plus I once had a radio show for a couple of years (I was no Mary Lucia) so I was also interested in her experiences at her radio station. I found the book compelling, both the parts about the stalker and otherwise.
Profile Image for Alyssa Savino.
17 reviews
January 17, 2026
Though Mary Lucia's sense of humor did not always resonate with me, and I found some of the "relief" chapters eye-rolly, it was so made up by the compelling story told! A shocking and appalling story of stalking AND the complete lack of protections for victims. And I loved the ending. "Anything that feels like it's holding your integrity hostage must be kicked to the curb" sentiments, I loved. And touching and genuine epilogue.
Profile Image for Cara Achterberg.
Author 9 books188 followers
November 16, 2025
I literally laughed out loud reading this, and that's not like me. While the topic is a clearly a painful one for too many women, Lucia shares her story with such candor and humor, that it's an enjoyable read anyway. Loved all the rock and roll references and her completely irrevelant and intelligent style. Great book! I hope it won't be her last.
Thanks to Net Galley and the publisher for the opportunity to read/review.
Profile Image for Maureen.
209 reviews2 followers
August 16, 2025
Wow! This was a good book. The author recounts her harrowing experience as a public figure being stalked by a delusional “fan,” and the repercussions that she will always have to cope with. Her story is raw, heart wrenching and even humorous at times. I read this in a day. More from Mary Lucia please!
Profile Image for Kayleigh.
46 reviews
September 30, 2025
I will be - and actually already have been - raving about this book to anyone and everyone who will listen. I devoured Mary's story in a couple of days...how engaging, how witty, how utterly terrifying! I'll wholeheartedly admit that I didn't know of Mary Lucia before I read this; now I wish to be her bff. For a book with such traumatic themes, her delivery walks the fine line between dread and humour perfectly.
The opening chapter had me weeping, as did the closing one. Everything in between was a rollercoaster of emotions, but this was ultimately a story being shared of a deeply distressing time in a person's life, exploring the frustration and helplessness, not to mention the all-consuming panic and terror brought on by existing as the target of a stalker.
As with much psychological terminology, discussion around stalkers is very much a misinformed topic, with even the supposed 'authorities' being completely inept at dealing with such offences. It is impossible to live while you're a target. Life becomes mere existence, with every part of your existence being violated by somebody else's actions. In Mary's case, this was undertaken by a total stranger, and it's revealed that he also targeted a colleague as the years went by.
Ultimately this book tickled my brain in a number of ways, and that is without a doubt down to the way Mary Lucia chose to narrate and share her story. A harrowing account of being stalked, integrated with childhood, family, music, and work, was all woven together seamlessly, in a voice that felt like your best friend telling you about her day, to deliver a thoroughly well-rounded book that I implore everyone to read.

What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To: A Memoir is available on November 25th 2025. I’d like to extend many great thanks to NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for giving me the opportunity to read this book in advance of publication.
Profile Image for Kari Thorsdottir.
Author 1 book13 followers
January 15, 2026
I loved almost everything about this book. I lived in Minnesota when REV105 was on the air and truly loved listening to Mary Lucia. I'm definitely a fan. Since I moved away, I didn’t know anything about the harrowing stalking trauma she endured. Mary is a fantastic writer. She has an authentic style and retells stories with such amazing detail and clarity. A real honest, original voice. I didn’t need to hear an audio book version because while I was reading the physical book, I could hear her voice in my head. A delight!

My only quibble with the book is in chapter 5, where she recounts the impact of Prince’s death. She says, “…I have no interest to tour Paisley Park and absorb the staged personal objects,” followed by “I harbor no judgment; just saying I won’t be there.”

Hmm…sounds a bit…I don’t know…judgy?

And then, “I have my own Prince story which I will never tell.” I mean, this is *your* book. You’re the storyteller. That seemed like a smug way of saying “I know something you don’t know.” Could have just left that sentence out rather than rubbing our faces in it.

So, while this chapter felt tinged with pompous exclusivity (all you little nobodies going fan-crazy over Prince, desperate for a glimpse into his life), I sort of rolled my eyes, thinking to myself, “well, excuse me for a being a loser, I guess,” and I moved on.

Then along comes chapter 21, where she recounts her trip to Memphis. First thing about this chapter is that it’s kinda dull. It’s like your friend notating their slide show of their trip to somewhere that isn’t your cup of tea (I drove on this road! I went to Graceland! And these recording studios! The reception area had a desk and two chairs! I saw the Peabody ducks!)

Mmkay. Anyway…

But the kicker for me in chapter 21 was what she writes about being in Graceland: “I stood alongside everyone soaking in all its décor with utter reverence.”

Huh. Go figure. But anyone who wants to tour Paisley Park is some kind of fan-girling pleb?

So, I chalk all that up to being a “me problem”. Not going to ding the rating for it, because it is a dynamite book that I plan to recommend to anyone and everyone. And I still think she’s the bomb.
Profile Image for Stone Cold Jane Austen.
3 reviews
February 22, 2026
Mary Lucia was the omnipresent, deeply human voice of the Twin Cities for decades. She spoke to and for the citizens with a candor and empathy that defied conventional radio standards and created a sense of community. It is therefore heart wrenching to read her survivors account of being stalked by a stranger whose mental illness twisted that into a personal relationship that did not exist and the terror he introduced to her life for years. And just as bad is the deficit of support extended to her from just about every safety gauge in place - her employer (MPR), police and the legal system.

Always considerate of her listeners (and yes, listeners is accurate because this is so very authentic to her voice that you can hear her saying every word), Mary Lucia interjects family / pet stories and music musings between the stalking saga. She’s giving readers a breather and reminding us that her identity is not “victim.” Some are more successful than others however and ultimately too many of these segments erode the cohesiveness of the book. Would I enjoy knowing much more about her Minneapolis rock and roll adventures and musings — yes, ma’am! But we get bits and bobs here that don’t totally come together, along with some creaky creative writing exercises featuring pets. It contributes to the sense that there‘s a lot NOT being said. There is a distance maintained — for all sorts of obvious reasons — that inhibits a strong connection and more robust story. We get it and empathize, but it ultimately limits the narrative.
Profile Image for Sheri.
290 reviews9 followers
February 17, 2026
2.5 stars, rounding up. Reviewing a memoir is always hard. I often feel that by giving a lower rating or negative review that I am some how judging this person's and all their emotions that went with it, when that is never the case. I picked up an ARC of this book because I love memoirs and the title caught my attention. So the title... I guess I was just expecting more weirdness?! Ms. Lucia certainly had a traumatic event which fortunately, didn't kill her and made her stronger. But weirder? I didn't feel that at all. What I did get from the book is that the author had a horrible experience that forever changed her life. I learned a lot about the legalities involved in a stalking case as well as some DJ tidbits. The author can write and told some great stories but I just didn't feel that the book was very cohesive. She mentioned wanting to break up the stalking storyline with vignettes about her life but there wasn't much of a segue between most of them. The format just didn't work for me. I felt that a few stories also referenced someone in the rock and roll world that was fairly obscure except for true rock fans. Often times, the meaning of those paragraphs was just lost on me.
Thank you to Ms Lucia for sharing a very difficult time in her life. Thank you too to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the ARC.
Profile Image for coco's reading.
1,187 reviews38 followers
February 2, 2026
I hate trying to rate memoirs, biographies, and autobiographies, because unless they're about someone/something I have a particular interest in, they usually end up being middle-of-the-road reads. Never would have got this for myself—I'd never heard of it—but I received this at my work's Christmas book swap, and I did write "the weirder, the better" on my prompt card.

As a memoir, Lucia's covers a lot of ground without being long-winded and rotates around her time as the target of stalking. Her honesty—in relation to the terror of a mentally unstable man forcing himself into her life, the frustration with people (law enforcement, bosses, family) who did not take this threat seriously, and her traumas and experiences with child neglect, substance and alcohol abuse, and self-harm—made for an intimate portrait proving that anyone (any woman) can be stalked. It does not matter your ethnicity, body size, fashion sense, age, and let's shout it, whether you're in a relationship with a man—there are certain individuals who think they have a right to your time, attention, and space. The outcome was less than satisfying and realistic for that reason, but what I found empowering was Lucia's self-awareness and the steps she describes taking to protecting and loving herself. Several chapters felt a bit untethered, as in I wish they'd been better connected to the through-line, but this was compulsively readable.
Profile Image for Lisa  Carlson.
697 reviews16 followers
February 20, 2026
If former Minnesota radio broadcast personality Mary Lucia can get this published with this title and cover shot; there's immense hope for the rest of us who want a book on the shelf. There are glimmers of light in What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate to. Lucia is certainly an original when it comes to just about everything. She is perhaps one of the best contrarians I have ever read about and I consider myself one. My favorite is page 56 where she has a list of ideas and believes perfection is a bore. Best one; dog parks are the only place where animals become verbal...revealing your dog's voice sounds like Leon Redbone or Renee Zellweger. But aside from the wit Lucia survives a stalker which is terrifying especially when the police think it is wasting their time, her family is simply bizarre and her favorite city to escape to is NY. The best blurb on the back is from the hilarious, talented Lizz Winstead..."Lucia writes for those who have been through s**t, has survived that s**t and who has their fears marginalized." Could not have said it better.
Profile Image for Rachael.
Author 56 books81 followers
January 31, 2026
Reading this book made me mad! As it is supposed to. Lucia tells the story of her stalker and how little help she received from her employer (Minnesota Public Radio), law enforcement, and some members of her family. I was getting physically anxious at times. Lucia writes in her characteristic snide wit. Any listener familiar with her radio persona will instantly recognize that it's not a persona...it is her. Lucia makes it clear she is not the one to take on the mantle for all those harassed by stalkers, but it's clear that someone should. The laws are woefully inadequate. She writes: "There were plenty of times in which I was made to feel that the predator's privacy was of greater importance." I've witnessed a similar situation; unfortunately I think this is common.

Lucia mixes in lighter chapters amid the heaviness of her situation. Sometimes they seem wedged into the story, but also I understand why they are there.
Profile Image for ₊˚✧SJ✧˚₊.
205 reviews112 followers
August 17, 2025
Mary Lucia shares her experience of being stalked for over three years while working as a Radio Presenter. Despite the trauma Lucia experienced, you can see her hilarious and engaging personality in every chapter.

While delivered with humor, Lucia is still able to highlight the struggle that victims experience with gaslighting, victim-blaming, a flawed legal system and the ongoing lasting effects of having your safety jeopardized.

I’m glad that Lucia decided to share her story publicly and highlight the feelings of being helpless, powerless, violated, dismissed and diminished during those three years from family, friends, colleagues, police and the legal system. It’s an important reminder to believe victims.

Thank you NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Ellen Ross.
536 reviews56 followers
August 6, 2025
I was captivated by this memoir about Lucia’s experience with a stalker and I felt the same emotions she did. Rage at the system that doesn’t do enough, fear of what could happen, frustration that she couldn’t just live a normal life. Mixed into this book were comical stories from her which helped lighten the mood. Still, nothing took away from the seriousness of what she had to deal with and I hope many women that read this will become as determined as she was if they ever face a similar situation.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Profile Image for Katie.
120 reviews3 followers
September 30, 2025
What a great memoir! I wasn’t familiar with the author before now but this book did not disappoint! Mary Lucia is hilarious and full of wit with tons of dark humor in the book. I found it to be eerily relatable even though I’ve never been stalked or sent meat or worked at a radio or had anyone know me. I would highly recommend this to anyone that’s been through trauma and likes to use humor to cope. Loved it 🌟
1,553 reviews23 followers
January 29, 2026
Sad and joyful. I loved how much Looch was willing to share about herself. Terrible how she was treated by MPR, the police, etc.

I share her feelings about Prince. How in a moment, his death made the Twin Cities feel different. I also loved his mystique and want it to remain. I never plan to go to Paisley Park.

It brought me joy to hear how as a kid growing up, she played pretend every chance she could!

I miss hearing her on the radio.
Profile Image for Valerity (Val).
1,125 reviews2,776 followers
October 17, 2025
Love the title. I really liked this true story of a lady DJ’s sickening experience with a stalker and the lengths he went to trying to get to her. She has a compelling way with words, and was so empathetic with listeners. It’s sad and scary how people have to mess with someone who is just trying to connect with others over some good music.
Profile Image for JXR.
4,110 reviews25 followers
October 27, 2025
bold and interesting memoir in which Mary Lucia strips her personality to the bone and delves into the stalker who has been plaguing her for years. 5 stars. tysm for the arc.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
Author 8 books36 followers
December 25, 2025
The book was a bit disjointed, but I'm team Looch all the way. Gosh does MPR come off bad in this. Reaffirms my decision to cancel my membership on Lucia's last day.
Profile Image for Colleen Foley.
2 reviews
January 2, 2026
I couldn’t put this book down. Amazing writing about not only her horrific stalker, but so much more; dysfunctional family, working in bs corporate America, and lots of rock and roll!
Profile Image for Amy.
782 reviews5 followers
February 16, 2026
My biggest complaint is that it was too short.
123 reviews
Read
February 16, 2026
It's impossible to rate something so personal so I'll leave this at saying thank you Looch for sharing your story and paving the way for the women in the path you've trudged through.
165 reviews1 follower
Read
January 5, 2026
No experience with a stalker, but I do know that one of my cousins in radio has had a few. Not cool, no way.

Aspects of the book made me think of friends that are obsessed with music, especially one that wakes up thinking about the Beatles and who did a pilgrimage to the Cities not too long ago. I think he would have put some of his mom’s ashes at the CCClub if he could have.
73 reviews
February 11, 2026
The reason she got to write this story is horrifying, but Mary Lucia’s humor and candor make this a great read. I left disappointed in The Current, inspired by Mary’s resilience and honored to have listened to her in the early days when she was on Rev105. (I still have the issue of the Strib from the day it went off the air. Front page story. That’s how big an impact the station, Mary and her fellow music warriors — like Kevin Cole and Brian Oake — had on Mpls music.)
Profile Image for Erin.
3,961 reviews464 followers
November 28, 2025
Thanks to NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for access to this title. All opinions expressed are my own.

First, it was the title that I couldn't resist. Second, was the first line of the memoir "I like animals more than people." Those two things, combined with Mary Lucia's use of humour and heart, kept me turning the pages. Once a radio music host, this memoir concentrates on the four years that Mary Lucia was stalked. A very terrifying and serious topic, and yet, the memoir doesn't just focus on those events, but also ensures that the readers get to know who she really is.

I didn't know who Mary Lucia was before reading, and it is most likely that she and I will never meet, either, but for the last 1.5 hours, she held me captive with her account. A courageous story.




#WhatDoesntKillMeMakesMeWeirderandHardertoRelateTo #NetGalley
Expected Publication Date 25/11/25
Goodreads Review Date 26/10/25
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