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What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To: A Memoir
An iconic rock DJ of the Twin Cities tells her harrowing story of being stalked while living her very public life
What’s it like to be in the public spotlight when it just might get you killed? For Mary Lucia, becoming a wildly popular rock DJ meant connecting with a multitude of fans through a shared love of music and deep cuts. But for one listener, that connection became a dangerous obsession, catapulting Lucia into the terrifying three-year nightmare that she chronicles in this raw, wry, and profoundly courageous memoir. With electrifying wit and anger, Lucia shares her experience of navigating constant terror while life absurdly goes interview rock stars, curate a radio show song list, judge high school battles of the band, kick a drug addiction cold turkey . . . all while fearing what might be waiting in her mailbox or who might be waiting on her front step or at her back door.
Lucia was no stranger to inappropriate or weird contact from fans, but things turned sinister when ten pounds of raw meat were delivered to her at work, followed by a steady stream of ominous letters, cards, packages, and messages. When the letters included threats to her dogs’ safety, she tried to get help, but without a name and return address on these communications there was nothing she could do. As the stalker’s actions escalated, Lucia felt more and more isolated. Police responding to her 911 calls were insensitive and dismissive, and even her friends implied that being stalked was just a hazard of her high-profile job and her high-energy personality. No one seemed to take seriously the danger she faced.
Inseparable from this ordeal is the story of how Mary Lucia became the notorious radio malcontent known by so many avid listeners. From the good, bad, and weird of growing up in her eccentric family to drugs, death, and dogs, Lucia finally shares her life on her own terms in What Doesn’t Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To. Applying her signature dark humor to her own traumatic experiences, Lucia’s memoir is idiosyncratic, bold, and—ironically—relatable.
Retail e-book files for this title are screen-reader friendly with images accompanied by short alt text and/or extended descriptions.
What’s it like to be in the public spotlight when it just might get you killed? For Mary Lucia, becoming a wildly popular rock DJ meant connecting with a multitude of fans through a shared love of music and deep cuts. But for one listener, that connection became a dangerous obsession, catapulting Lucia into the terrifying three-year nightmare that she chronicles in this raw, wry, and profoundly courageous memoir. With electrifying wit and anger, Lucia shares her experience of navigating constant terror while life absurdly goes interview rock stars, curate a radio show song list, judge high school battles of the band, kick a drug addiction cold turkey . . . all while fearing what might be waiting in her mailbox or who might be waiting on her front step or at her back door.
Lucia was no stranger to inappropriate or weird contact from fans, but things turned sinister when ten pounds of raw meat were delivered to her at work, followed by a steady stream of ominous letters, cards, packages, and messages. When the letters included threats to her dogs’ safety, she tried to get help, but without a name and return address on these communications there was nothing she could do. As the stalker’s actions escalated, Lucia felt more and more isolated. Police responding to her 911 calls were insensitive and dismissive, and even her friends implied that being stalked was just a hazard of her high-profile job and her high-energy personality. No one seemed to take seriously the danger she faced.
Inseparable from this ordeal is the story of how Mary Lucia became the notorious radio malcontent known by so many avid listeners. From the good, bad, and weird of growing up in her eccentric family to drugs, death, and dogs, Lucia finally shares her life on her own terms in What Doesn’t Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To. Applying her signature dark humor to her own traumatic experiences, Lucia’s memoir is idiosyncratic, bold, and—ironically—relatable.
Retail e-book files for this title are screen-reader friendly with images accompanied by short alt text and/or extended descriptions.
160 pages, Hardcover
Published November 25, 2025
15 people are currently reading
3548 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 31, 2025
ARC for review. To be published November 25, 2025.
3.5 stars
This interesting memoir is about a popular Minneapolis DJ who is stalked, but the book is broken up by the author’s reminiscences and general thoughts on life because she didn’t want the book to be too much of a downer.
I’m not from Minneapolis and I knew exactly nothing about Mary Lucia but I was interested in a real life case of stalking, plus I once had a radio show for a couple of years (I was no Mary Lucia) so I was also interested in her experiences at her radio station. I found the book compelling, both the parts about the stalker and otherwise.
3.5 stars
This interesting memoir is about a popular Minneapolis DJ who is stalked, but the book is broken up by the author’s reminiscences and general thoughts on life because she didn’t want the book to be too much of a downer.
I’m not from Minneapolis and I knew exactly nothing about Mary Lucia but I was interested in a real life case of stalking, plus I once had a radio show for a couple of years (I was no Mary Lucia) so I was also interested in her experiences at her radio station. I found the book compelling, both the parts about the stalker and otherwise.
August 16, 2025
Wow! This was a good book. The author recounts her harrowing experience as a public figure being stalked by a delusional “fan,” and the repercussions that she will always have to cope with. Her story is raw, heart wrenching and even humorous at times. I read this in a day. More from Mary Lucia please!
November 16, 2025
I literally laughed out loud reading this, and that's not like me. While the topic is a clearly a painful one for too many women, Lucia shares her story with such candor and humor, that it's an enjoyable read anyway. Loved all the rock and roll references and her completely irrevelant and intelligent style. Great book! I hope it won't be her last.
Thanks to Net Galley and the publisher for the opportunity to read/review.
Thanks to Net Galley and the publisher for the opportunity to read/review.
September 30, 2025
I will be - and actually already have been - raving about this book to anyone and everyone who will listen. I devoured Mary's story in a couple of days...how engaging, how witty, how utterly terrifying! I'll wholeheartedly admit that I didn't know of Mary Lucia before I read this; now I wish to be her bff. For a book with such traumatic themes, her delivery walks the fine line between dread and humour perfectly.
The opening chapter had me weeping, as did the closing one. Everything in between was a rollercoaster of emotions, but this was ultimately a story being shared of a deeply distressing time in a person's life, exploring the frustration and helplessness, not to mention the all-consuming panic and terror brought on by existing as the target of a stalker.
As with much psychological terminology, discussion around stalkers is very much a misinformed topic, with even the supposed 'authorities' being completely inept at dealing with such offences. It is impossible to live while you're a target. Life becomes mere existence, with every part of your existence being violated by somebody else's actions. In Mary's case, this was undertaken by a total stranger, and it's revealed that he also targeted a colleague as the years went by.
Ultimately this book tickled my brain in a number of ways, and that is without a doubt down to the way Mary Lucia chose to narrate and share her story. A harrowing account of being stalked, integrated with childhood, family, music, and work, was all woven together seamlessly, in a voice that felt like your best friend telling you about her day, to deliver a thoroughly well-rounded book that I implore everyone to read.
What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To: A Memoir is available on November 25th 2025. I’d like to extend many great thanks to NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for giving me the opportunity to read this book in advance of publication.
The opening chapter had me weeping, as did the closing one. Everything in between was a rollercoaster of emotions, but this was ultimately a story being shared of a deeply distressing time in a person's life, exploring the frustration and helplessness, not to mention the all-consuming panic and terror brought on by existing as the target of a stalker.
As with much psychological terminology, discussion around stalkers is very much a misinformed topic, with even the supposed 'authorities' being completely inept at dealing with such offences. It is impossible to live while you're a target. Life becomes mere existence, with every part of your existence being violated by somebody else's actions. In Mary's case, this was undertaken by a total stranger, and it's revealed that he also targeted a colleague as the years went by.
Ultimately this book tickled my brain in a number of ways, and that is without a doubt down to the way Mary Lucia chose to narrate and share her story. A harrowing account of being stalked, integrated with childhood, family, music, and work, was all woven together seamlessly, in a voice that felt like your best friend telling you about her day, to deliver a thoroughly well-rounded book that I implore everyone to read.
What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Weirder and Harder to Relate To: A Memoir is available on November 25th 2025. I’d like to extend many great thanks to NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for giving me the opportunity to read this book in advance of publication.
August 17, 2025
Mary Lucia shares her experience of being stalked for over three years while working as a Radio Presenter. Despite the trauma Lucia experienced, you can see her hilarious and engaging personality in every chapter.
While delivered with humor, Lucia is still able to highlight the struggle that victims experience with gaslighting, victim-blaming, a flawed legal system and the ongoing lasting effects of having your safety jeopardized.
I’m glad that Lucia decided to share her story publicly and highlight the feelings of being helpless, powerless, violated, dismissed and diminished during those three years from family, friends, colleagues, police and the legal system. It’s an important reminder to believe victims.
Thank you NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
While delivered with humor, Lucia is still able to highlight the struggle that victims experience with gaslighting, victim-blaming, a flawed legal system and the ongoing lasting effects of having your safety jeopardized.
I’m glad that Lucia decided to share her story publicly and highlight the feelings of being helpless, powerless, violated, dismissed and diminished during those three years from family, friends, colleagues, police and the legal system. It’s an important reminder to believe victims.
Thank you NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
August 6, 2025
I was captivated by this memoir about Lucia’s experience with a stalker and I felt the same emotions she did. Rage at the system that doesn’t do enough, fear of what could happen, frustration that she couldn’t just live a normal life. Mixed into this book were comical stories from her which helped lighten the mood. Still, nothing took away from the seriousness of what she had to deal with and I hope many women that read this will become as determined as she was if they ever face a similar situation.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
September 30, 2025
What a great memoir! I wasn’t familiar with the author before now but this book did not disappoint! Mary Lucia is hilarious and full of wit with tons of dark humor in the book. I found it to be eerily relatable even though I’ve never been stalked or sent meat or worked at a radio or had anyone know me. I would highly recommend this to anyone that’s been through trauma and likes to use humor to cope. Loved it 🌟
October 17, 2025
Love the title. I really liked this true story of a lady DJ’s sickening experience with a stalker and the lengths he went to trying to get to her. She has a compelling way with words, and was so empathetic with listeners. It’s sad and scary how people have to mess with someone who is just trying to connect with others over some good music.
October 27, 2025
bold and interesting memoir in which Mary Lucia strips her personality to the bone and delves into the stalker who has been plaguing her for years. 5 stars. tysm for the arc.
December 14, 2025
Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC!
I read the title and was sold, but I think it has some themes that I'm not comfortable with, sooo....
I read the title and was sold, but I think it has some themes that I'm not comfortable with, sooo....
December 18, 2025
(2.75 rounded up)
November 28, 2025
Thanks to NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for access to this title. All opinions expressed are my own.
First, it was the title that I couldn't resist. Second, was the first line of the memoir "I like animals more than people." Those two things, combined with Mary Lucia's use of humour and heart, kept me turning the pages. Once a radio music host, this memoir concentrates on the four years that Mary Lucia was stalked. A very terrifying and serious topic, and yet, the memoir doesn't just focus on those events, but also ensures that the readers get to know who she really is.
I didn't know who Mary Lucia was before reading, and it is most likely that she and I will never meet, either, but for the last 1.5 hours, she held me captive with her account. A courageous story.
#WhatDoesntKillMeMakesMeWeirderandHardertoRelateTo #NetGalley
Expected Publication Date 25/11/25
Goodreads Review Date 26/10/25
First, it was the title that I couldn't resist. Second, was the first line of the memoir "I like animals more than people." Those two things, combined with Mary Lucia's use of humour and heart, kept me turning the pages. Once a radio music host, this memoir concentrates on the four years that Mary Lucia was stalked. A very terrifying and serious topic, and yet, the memoir doesn't just focus on those events, but also ensures that the readers get to know who she really is.
I didn't know who Mary Lucia was before reading, and it is most likely that she and I will never meet, either, but for the last 1.5 hours, she held me captive with her account. A courageous story.
#WhatDoesntKillMeMakesMeWeirderandHardertoRelateTo #NetGalley
Expected Publication Date 25/11/25
Goodreads Review Date 26/10/25
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews