Preparing for Adolescence: How to Survive the Coming Years of Change

by James C. Dobson

What do you say to an adolescent who's getting ready to enter those turbulent teenage years? Dr. James Dobson, one of America's leading family psychologists, knows how to speak directly and sincerely to today's adolescents about the topics that trouble them most. Topics include avoiding feelings of inferiority, handling peer pressure, drug abuse, puberty, sexual development, menstruation, masturbation, romantic love, overcoming discouragement, sound decision-making, and handling independence.

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Nonfiction, Family, Self Help, Reference, Religion

162 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 30, 1977

About the author

A licensed psychologist and marriage, family, and child counselor, Dr. James Dobson was a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. For 14 years Dr. Dobson was an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, and he served for 17 years on the attending staff of Children's Hospital Los Angeles in the Division of Child Development and Medical Genetics. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development.

He was the author of more than 50 books, including The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, When God Doesn't Make Sense, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, Bringing Up Boys, and the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls .

Heavily involved in influencing governmental policies related to the family, Dr. Dobson was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to the National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. He also served on the Attorney General's Advisory Board on Missing and Exploited Children, the Department of Health and Human Services' Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Commission on Child and Family Welfare. He was elected in 2008 to the National Radio Hall of Fame, and in 2009 received the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.

Reviews

[Mamy]

James Dobson makes me want to stab my eyeballs out with the nearest pointed instrument. His attitude is so condescending, and many of his core ideas are simply wrong, in my opinion. The fact that my parents simply gave me a number of his books and told me to read them to acquaint myself with "growing up" (rather than actually engaging me in any sort of intelligent conversation) explains a lot about my confusion as an adolescent. Don't give this to your teenager, for heaven's sakes.

[Dave · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is a marvel of unintentional comedy. It's so utterly tonedeaf that even the version that my parents handed me when I was 12 was hilarious. The combination of the stilted and awkward evangelical view on sex with the overwrought efforts to be "cool" and accessible is hysterical. I wish I knew what happened to my copy. I'd add readings from this to the eventual Fireproof viewing party/rifftrax session we keep talking about and never doing.

[Janelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this as a pre-teen and again when my kids were pre-teens. It's a good book, but ironically I can't say it actually prepared me much for my teen years.
It's probably best utilised by being read to a child and used as a springboard for discussion, rather than given to a child to read on their own.

[Timothy Favelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

My parents made me read this when I was 10 and my grades were falling, as well as most kids in my school and church 20 years before and after me. It served as a way for them to avoid having "the talk" with me and was the start in the growing distance between us.

This book is a Christian perspective from 1974 about the hormonal and physical changes of puberty; while it is very much out of date it can serve the purpose of showing why Xtian Fundamentalists/Evangelicals are so totally misguided in matters of human sexuality and gender identity.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book to see if it would be good to use with my young teens.
Pros: the author covers the right topics in a straightforward way. He is a good communicator and reassuring without being overly wordy.
Cons: a bit outdated (population 4 billion, retro slang), and a little weak on the theology.
I am glad that I read the book, as it was a good refresher on adolescents, and I picked up a few things I will work into conversations with my kids, but I won't have them read it.

[Pewterbreath · Rating 2 out of 5]

Instead of TELLING me about sex, my parents provided me with this book. Surprisingly free of preachiness considering the author. Gotta say, knowing how my body would change did come in useful. Of course there's the DON'T HAVE SEX chapter--and I can't say I'd recommend this, it's more of a rememberance than anything else. Years later--when I was like 14, my parents asked me if I knew about "making babies" yet, and it was WAY too late. Also keep in mind, the edition I read may be very different. I have a feeling that this may have been updated to include things about homosexuality and such that I wouldn't agree with.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have picked this book up multiple times, but now I felt was the right time to need to read it. Every time I forget that the book is written directly for 10-15 year old. Obviously parents are meant to read it beforehand, but it is written to that age group, talking directly to them about the changes going on in their bodies, emotions, minds, and everything else.

It is done very well. The language is simple enough but not to simple. I mean, he's a family psychologist talking to pre-teens, so there is going to be some amount of adultness. But he tries to relate to them without trying to be cool. He tells it like it is and doesn't try to sugar coat anything. He leaves no stone unturned and talks through pretty much everything from a biblical perspective and even things that I have found difficult to put into words (and I'm very forthcoming and open talking to my kids on these subjects), he addresses.

I even loved that he talks about ideas of marriage just after talking about changes in our bodies, emotions, and sex. He addresses the difference between love and infatuation. And there is a whole section on marriage and what it truly takes and myths that he debunks. Which was one of my favorite parts because I don't think it is addressed enough with teens.

I also liked that the end of the book has a transcription of a conversation he has with 4 teens who have just turned 15-16, specifically talking about the issues in the book from their perspective and things they have gone through. That was nice and relatable.

My only issue with the book is the same issue I have with every James Dobson book. He takes things from a very negative, almost scary perspective. He quotes statistics (not as many in this because that would lose their attention, and it really doesn't feel like a textbook or anything) and some of the scary side of things. Instead of addressing like, it may feel such and such way, he just says, "you feel bad about yourself" or "you will feel inferior to everyone around you". I know that may be nitpicking. But while I think everyone goes through a time when they feel that way, I just wish it could be talked about like it doesn't have to be that way. Maybe I'm wrong. What do I know. I'm not a psychologist, just a woman who went through these same issues and wished that I knew a side where I could be encouraged through it instead of told it was going to be sooooo bad! But that's why we are parents and have a voice. So that we can encourage and tell our children that regardless of what's being said around them.

[Shanna Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written for the adolescent to read. I read it at the same time as one of my children. I think this is a great book for adolescents. It really helps them to see that all their peers are going through the same feelings of inferiority, awkwardness, fear, etc. that they are going through. It helps them to understand what they are going through and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially with all the comparison of our society today, and teen suicide, I think this book is very helpful and important. These discussions are important and this book can help guide your discussions.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Trying to educate myself on the growing up boys. This book definitely helped but I don't think it was really what I was looking for. I do feel that some of the information is a little outdated and can use some tweaking.

I will for sure go over some of the topics mentioned though with my son. It was explained better than what I have tried to say in the past and I think will help with the flow of the conversation...when we have it.

Rating: PG (source of topics)
Language: clean
Recommend Yes

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book as an adolescent. My parents used it to facilitate "the talk." My Dad and I read it together.

Now I'm reading it in college for Adolescent Psych class.

It seems interesting. Explicit in some places and lacking in others. I think it's helpful, but not complete.

What I did find interesting was how the information was accurate and helpful about teenage development (intellectual, physical, social, etc)

I might use this for my kids.

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book on sale out of boredom and I was glad I bought it!
A must read for teenagers! This helped me a lot. It's still helping me! The topics Dobson touched are vital to every teenager. It is something every teenages went/go through. This book helped me understand the changes that is happening. It helped me discover who I really am(It's a working progress so I'm still discovering)

[Aurora Grace · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was the only book on sex or gender I was given to read by my parents when I hit puberty. The result was a wreckage, traumatic, confused, and angry adolescence that culminated in near-suicide and the eventual realization that I was transgender. These books are dangerous. They are ill-informed and have destroyed, or nearly destroyed, lives.

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not something I would give my teens or tweens to read. There were some concepts presented that I don't agree with, but overall it had a dumbed down feel to it which my teen would take offense to. I am going to continue my search for a better book in this genre.

[Diana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this when I was about 10 years old. It did have some useful information, but I also think that some of it was just the author's personal experiences and opinions. I gave it two stars because some of it was useful, but overall the book could have been more objective and informative.

[Kati · Rating 1 out of 5]

this was the book my parents gave me in 3rd grade to "walk me through" adolescence. It provided too little in the way of answers, and too much in the way of more questions. The explanations and descriptions of sexual development and function were laughably vague. NOT recommended!

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for my Adolescent Psychology class. It's been a while, but I remember it being very good.

[Meghan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was just ok. I read this in 1987, as a young teen looking for guidance. It was helpful and I saved it for my future family. Fast forward to 2016 when I started reading it to my young teenage son. It had some good information, yet I don't believe we finished the book. I picked it up and read it again in 2023, to preview in order to give to a niece and nephew. This current reading brought to light some dated material and discrimination that I don't agree with. In the book's defense, my copy is from 1984, so newer additions may reflect more updated insight. I will be recycling my copy, I don't think I care to pass this book on now, but will share the formative and engaging sections with my family.

[LAMONT D · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another blast from the past from one of my favorites, Dr. James Dobson. I know I read this way before we had teenagers int he 80's. In a way Dobson was blazing a trail in Christian circles talking about all these things like sex, teens growing into their bodies, love and relationships. I remember my wife and I were a part of youth group panel at our church talking to teenagers about various topics including sex before marriage. We were like the only couple that said it was possible and should be the standard. Save yourself for your life partner after marriage. Now, does it send you to hell? Probably not, but it is there in the Bible for a reason and certainly not to be ignored.

[Sarah Elaine Ramirez · Rating 1 out of 5]

Like a lot of other reviewers, I was given this book by my mother in lieu of a mature conversation about puberty and sex. While I credit it for being the first publication I read to actually explain how penetration worked, I also credit it for damaging me when I went into college still a virgin and was completely unprepared for how other people would take advantage of me (and the years of subsequent guilt). The only way I could recommend this book in good faith is as an example of unhealthy and outdated views on puberty, sexuality, and humanity.

[Raven Easter · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is utter trash. I consider it borderline child abuse to have your child read this. My love didn't want to talk to me about these issues, that would be uncomfortable, so she had me read this book instead. Let's just say that it did not deter me from satisfying my urges when I became of age or using protection when I did it. It did confuse me and make me think that it's normal for it to only last a minute and a half. Yeah, this book literally tells pre-teens that the act of love happens in one position and lasts less than two minutes, and I feel bad for this man's wife!

[DJ H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s ight. It’s ordered well. It was a quick read, as it felt like a compilation of articles relating to the same topic of adolescence. The philosophy is a pretty standard Christian view. The most interesting aspect of this book are the few studies he cited. I can’t imagine using the book as a first introduction into adolescence tho. Like other’s have noted, it’s better as a springboard for conversations between parents and their child than a ticket out of parenting.

[Taylor Rollo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful talks that are worth consulting and maybe even using when discussing this subject with your kids. Even though it is old, most of the information is current enough, though it needs to be updated to contemporary issues of homosexuality and gender confusion, but parents should do that in their own way.

[Radiolab]

Radiolab asked listeners for their sex ed recommendations.

Rebecca, a Radiolab listener, says, "My fundamentalist parents couldn't bear to actually tell me about sex, so they gave this to me about how to be a good a Christian teenager with the vague instruction to read it and then tell them if I had any questions. The actual part about sex was only two pages long. There was a lot left to have questions about. Naturally, I never asked them."

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book to share with preteens and young teens. Dr. Dobson holds nothing back, but shares the details of what to expect during puberty and beyond. This was a great book to share with my 12 year old son.

[Lydia Byers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read it because my 10-year-old read it and wanted me to read it as well. It was written on a level for 10-year-olds, with information about what to expect in the coming years, very chatty and easy to understand, with less advice than I expected. Good information.

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure - maybe helpful, maybe not.
Geared toward Junior High age.

[Jhoana Lovebooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Me ha ayudado mucho este libro , en la parte de la charla me pude identificar... lo podría leer una y otra vez

[Lacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Straight talk to teens about body and life changes.

[Jhoana jaldin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este libro me ayudó mucho y me sorprende lo bien que me identifico con este libro 💖como el autor plasma en palabras lo que sentimos los adolescentes hoy en día

[Christopher Hachet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this helpful as a young teenage boy, but have since outgrown it's evangelical perspective. This book may actually be harmful due to the way evangelical purity culture is presented.