What do you think?
Rate this book
All In: How Our Work-First Culture Fails Dads, Families, and Businesses—And How We Can Fix It Together
When journalist and fatherhood columnist Josh Levs was denied fair parental leave by his employer after his child was born, he fought back—and won. In the process, he became a leading advocate for modern families. In All In, he shows how fatherhood today is far different than for previous generations and what that means for our individual lives, families, workplaces, and society.
Growing numbers of men are becoming stay-at-home dads, working part-time, or taking on flexible schedules to spend more time with their children. Even the traditional breadwinner-dad is being transformed. Dads today are more emotionally and physically involved on the home front than ever before. They are "all in" and—like mothers—struggling with work-life balance and doing it all.
Levs explains that despite these unprecedented changes, the structures that shape our family lives remain rigid. Our laws, corporate policies, and gender-based expectations in the workplace are horribly outdated, preventing both women and men from living out the equality we believe in—and hurting businesses in the process, too. Women have done a great job of speaking out about this, Levs argues. It's time for men to join in—in a big way.
Combining Levs's personal experiences with investigative reporting and frank conversations with fathers about everything from work life to money to sex, All In busts popular myths, lays out facts, uncovers the forces holding all of us back, and shows how we can join together to change them.
Growing numbers of men are becoming stay-at-home dads, working part-time, or taking on flexible schedules to spend more time with their children. Even the traditional breadwinner-dad is being transformed. Dads today are more emotionally and physically involved on the home front than ever before. They are "all in" and—like mothers—struggling with work-life balance and doing it all.
Levs explains that despite these unprecedented changes, the structures that shape our family lives remain rigid. Our laws, corporate policies, and gender-based expectations in the workplace are horribly outdated, preventing both women and men from living out the equality we believe in—and hurting businesses in the process, too. Women have done a great job of speaking out about this, Levs argues. It's time for men to join in—in a big way.
Combining Levs's personal experiences with investigative reporting and frank conversations with fathers about everything from work life to money to sex, All In busts popular myths, lays out facts, uncovers the forces holding all of us back, and shows how we can join together to change them.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published May 12, 2015
34 people are currently reading
414 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
October 14, 2015
I meant to review this and just realized I forgot when I looked at my page but yes, this book was really intriguing and eye opening. Levs talks about the work culture of America and how it is hurting people of all genders and families of all types. Things seem to be changing a little bit for those who work in corporate America but not enough and definitely no change really for those in other work brackets. He says that we are having modern families now that want to be more of partnerships in the raising of kids, household chores and taking care of other families but our work place rules are still stuck in 1950's America where dads worked and moms stayed home. Since our rules are still programmed like that, it is hurting families of all types and needs. This book gave me some things to think about which is good. I'm not a dad or a parent but I still got some things out of this book so I would recommend it to anyone who is intrigued by the title to pick it up. It's worth your time.
August 24, 2022
From ridiculously short paternity leaves to sexist narratives framing fathers as 'doofus', let alone a fearmongering of men which has taken hold recently and which has badly impacted dads as collateral damages (e.g. those fighting in family courts to be more involved in the lives of their children being portrayed, not as loving, dedicated parent, but, as abusive ones ought to abuse some more instead!) there is no denying that our culture is awash with dangerous prejudices and stereotyping, which have contributed to relegate fathers to second class parents. Is that a good thing? Well, obviously not!
Josh Levs' perspective is interesting, not because it focuses on the impact upon children (studies have been piling up about the importance of fathers on children's development) but, because it focuses on the impact such dismissal of fathers have upon businesses, society, the economy, and, last but least, women themselves. We're no longer in the 1950s, so why on earth are we expecting men to abide to social expectations taken straight out from the 1950s?! The damages it causes can be felt all around indeed...
The thing is, if women have made great progresses when it comes to be empowered in the workplace, men, on the other hand, have been left completely let down when it comes to be more empowered in the domestic sphere. The disconnect goes beyond men still being treated as paycheques and providers, despite them reporting refusing to be perceived as everything but such, valuing, instead, time spent with their kids. It also affects families as a whole, with women being the first casualties. Why, for example, is motherhood penalty even such a thing?
There is no rationale to explain why men are still treated as second class parent, apart from outdated family prejudices and values, which contribute nothing but to harm us all (fathers, mothers, children). As a new generation of men has come to the fore, rejecting the 'ideals' of its predecessors, it's about time that such prejudices get thrashed as they should! Here's a relevant read for a new era.
Josh Levs' perspective is interesting, not because it focuses on the impact upon children (studies have been piling up about the importance of fathers on children's development) but, because it focuses on the impact such dismissal of fathers have upon businesses, society, the economy, and, last but least, women themselves. We're no longer in the 1950s, so why on earth are we expecting men to abide to social expectations taken straight out from the 1950s?! The damages it causes can be felt all around indeed...
The thing is, if women have made great progresses when it comes to be empowered in the workplace, men, on the other hand, have been left completely let down when it comes to be more empowered in the domestic sphere. The disconnect goes beyond men still being treated as paycheques and providers, despite them reporting refusing to be perceived as everything but such, valuing, instead, time spent with their kids. It also affects families as a whole, with women being the first casualties. Why, for example, is motherhood penalty even such a thing?
There is no rationale to explain why men are still treated as second class parent, apart from outdated family prejudices and values, which contribute nothing but to harm us all (fathers, mothers, children). As a new generation of men has come to the fore, rejecting the 'ideals' of its predecessors, it's about time that such prejudices get thrashed as they should! Here's a relevant read for a new era.
September 21, 2015
I like this book. Levs makes a lot of great points about fatherhood. Social stigmas against men as fathers that hold us all back as a society. How helping progressive policies for women in the workplace really can help men at home. How family is different in every situation, but there are certain things that hold us all back (like work and money and daycare and society's gender roles).
Gender equality is a big deal. Feminism a big deal. Granted, this book tackles parenthood from the male perspective (of course, that's his goal) and he does a great job of being inclusive in his discussions.
We already know all the things he talks about here, but maybe it's better that he wrote it down and said it out loud. He's very good about bringing the statistics and research and numbers to his writing.
I feel happier having read this, just knowing it's out there.
Gender equality is a big deal. Feminism a big deal. Granted, this book tackles parenthood from the male perspective (of course, that's his goal) and he does a great job of being inclusive in his discussions.
We already know all the things he talks about here, but maybe it's better that he wrote it down and said it out loud. He's very good about bringing the statistics and research and numbers to his writing.
I feel happier having read this, just knowing it's out there.
June 1, 2015
relevant to how we view men and are stuck in stereotypes. Nothing can change for women or for children unless we band together to move our society towards actual equality without demeaning genders by sticking to biases.
January 16, 2023
I finished this book a few days ago but have struggled to write this review. Why? I just don’t like reading book reviews. Too many simply summarize the book and sprinkle in a few vague statements about how good (or bad) it was. The good reviews give a unique perspective on the author, background on the book, or some interesting connection the review’s author has to the book.
I don’t have much to offer related to the author or book. Even though All In was published 7 years ago, I didn’t know it existed until a few weeks ago. But I did find myself in this book.
I connected with All In because it is a book for dads who are dissatisfied with how society in general is approaching dad-dom. (Hm, in my head “dad-dom” sounds better than fatherhood, but I’m not sure it works written out. Dadom? Daddom? The realm of the masculine figure in the household.)
That focus on dissatisfaction drove me a little crazy for parts of the book, which is ironic, because Mr. Levs spent so much time trying to argue we should feel more positive about everything related to fatherhood! Which is why I kept reading.
As I read the book, I found myself wanting to be a better father, to be “all in.” I found myself thinking of the ways that I hold back. How it’s so much work to get my kids out of the house to do things, so we stay home too much. How it’s harder to make dinner or do a chore with their help, so I find a way to distract them so I can do my stuff. How I am reluctant to answer a question because the incessant stream of questions that will follow that first answer.
But the book reminded me, again and again, of how rewarding being all in is. How showing my children the wonders of the world is something I won’t get a second chance at. How teaching them to care for themselves and their space is one of the most important skills I can share. How feeding their curiosity encourages them to keep asking questions when all the easy ones have been answered.
The focus of the book is on the challenges our culture and laws throw before fathers: the lack of paternal leave; stigmas that discourage fathers from taking it; the stereotypes of clueless dads; fear of men. I’ve faced some of these.
One of the reasons I am a stay-at-home dad rather than a part-time professional is because it is very difficult to be a part-time professional in our society. Careers, daycare, etc. are often built around the schedule of fulltime workers. For a brief time, both my wife and I worked. We took our oldest daughter, then about 2, to a daycare for part of the day. We wanted her home most the day, so I picked her up at lunch time. Unfortunately, she was the only one who didn’t stay until later. She felt isolated because of that. The social isolation and the cost didn’t seem worth it. I was fortunate that my wife had a well-paying job that she enjoyed.
The result has been that I’ve entered a world dominated by women. Schools and daycares default to calling my wife (despite the fact that they interact with me nearly daily and often haven’t met her), the majority of Tiktok and Instagram parenting accounts address moms, and it can be a little uncomfortable at storytime or the park during the day. If I walk up to that group of moms and try to start chatting, will they include me in the conversation? If I comfort one of their kids, will they assume I’m a creep?
But I came away from the book encouraged and hopeful, because there are fathers like Mr. Levs – and many others he interviewed for the book – who are all in. They are working to raise their children to be good people. They are also working to erase the barriers they have faced as fathers. I want to be all in on that aspect, too.
Fathers need paternal leave. All working parents need paid family leave. We need more support for parents – we need cities and transit systems built around families. We need jobs and childcare designed for working parents. We need more men on the playgrounds, in the day cares, at storytime. If we want women to be more equal in the boardroom, we need men to be more equal at home. One thing I want to do is explore how we can better do these things. All In encouraged me not just to be a better father, but also do the work to help other men do the same.
I don’t have much to offer related to the author or book. Even though All In was published 7 years ago, I didn’t know it existed until a few weeks ago. But I did find myself in this book.
I connected with All In because it is a book for dads who are dissatisfied with how society in general is approaching dad-dom. (Hm, in my head “dad-dom” sounds better than fatherhood, but I’m not sure it works written out. Dadom? Daddom? The realm of the masculine figure in the household.)
That focus on dissatisfaction drove me a little crazy for parts of the book, which is ironic, because Mr. Levs spent so much time trying to argue we should feel more positive about everything related to fatherhood! Which is why I kept reading.
As I read the book, I found myself wanting to be a better father, to be “all in.” I found myself thinking of the ways that I hold back. How it’s so much work to get my kids out of the house to do things, so we stay home too much. How it’s harder to make dinner or do a chore with their help, so I find a way to distract them so I can do my stuff. How I am reluctant to answer a question because the incessant stream of questions that will follow that first answer.
But the book reminded me, again and again, of how rewarding being all in is. How showing my children the wonders of the world is something I won’t get a second chance at. How teaching them to care for themselves and their space is one of the most important skills I can share. How feeding their curiosity encourages them to keep asking questions when all the easy ones have been answered.
The focus of the book is on the challenges our culture and laws throw before fathers: the lack of paternal leave; stigmas that discourage fathers from taking it; the stereotypes of clueless dads; fear of men. I’ve faced some of these.
One of the reasons I am a stay-at-home dad rather than a part-time professional is because it is very difficult to be a part-time professional in our society. Careers, daycare, etc. are often built around the schedule of fulltime workers. For a brief time, both my wife and I worked. We took our oldest daughter, then about 2, to a daycare for part of the day. We wanted her home most the day, so I picked her up at lunch time. Unfortunately, she was the only one who didn’t stay until later. She felt isolated because of that. The social isolation and the cost didn’t seem worth it. I was fortunate that my wife had a well-paying job that she enjoyed.
The result has been that I’ve entered a world dominated by women. Schools and daycares default to calling my wife (despite the fact that they interact with me nearly daily and often haven’t met her), the majority of Tiktok and Instagram parenting accounts address moms, and it can be a little uncomfortable at storytime or the park during the day. If I walk up to that group of moms and try to start chatting, will they include me in the conversation? If I comfort one of their kids, will they assume I’m a creep?
But I came away from the book encouraged and hopeful, because there are fathers like Mr. Levs – and many others he interviewed for the book – who are all in. They are working to raise their children to be good people. They are also working to erase the barriers they have faced as fathers. I want to be all in on that aspect, too.
Fathers need paternal leave. All working parents need paid family leave. We need more support for parents – we need cities and transit systems built around families. We need jobs and childcare designed for working parents. We need more men on the playgrounds, in the day cares, at storytime. If we want women to be more equal in the boardroom, we need men to be more equal at home. One thing I want to do is explore how we can better do these things. All In encouraged me not just to be a better father, but also do the work to help other men do the same.
October 29, 2021
The book is broken up into different segments. The first is the author's personal story to seek out equality in the workplace when it comes to paid time off for dads of newborns and even newly adopted children. His whole premise is that the Dad landscape is changing in our culture and companies need to help shape it for the better with new and improved policies that allow for men to be home with their kids more (paid time off, working from home, etc). He gives great advice on how to go about working with your employer to create and implement policies that are more equal in these areas.
The second section deals with addressing families outside the workplace and challenging the status quo and stereotypes that exist in our society. From the type of dad portrayed on tv that has been an easy target for comedy to rethinking the parental roles that society has traditionally assigned us; the author communicates valid points that show that the 2015 dad is extremely different now. With obvious exceptions, today's dads are eager to help, capable of doing so, and in many ways, are already doing it.
The last section deals with fatherlessness, widows, widowers, single dads, and how we as a society can learn from and embrace these social norms. He also spends a chapter on marriage and how a couple can still date, be intimate and romantic while being parents.
FINAL RATING: BORROW IT
The second section deals with addressing families outside the workplace and challenging the status quo and stereotypes that exist in our society. From the type of dad portrayed on tv that has been an easy target for comedy to rethinking the parental roles that society has traditionally assigned us; the author communicates valid points that show that the 2015 dad is extremely different now. With obvious exceptions, today's dads are eager to help, capable of doing so, and in many ways, are already doing it.
The last section deals with fatherlessness, widows, widowers, single dads, and how we as a society can learn from and embrace these social norms. He also spends a chapter on marriage and how a couple can still date, be intimate and romantic while being parents.
FINAL RATING: BORROW IT
December 24, 2023
Okay I REALLY wanted to like this book. The story of how Dads can rise up to demand more equality and therefore help everyone? Sign me up. Except, the privilege and the smarmy "I have all the answers" and the "just tell your boss you need time off" and the lack of self-awareness around so so so many things (particularly gender/sexist issues). Clearly the man has been praised from all corners, and is unaware that the majority of what he is saying 1) has been said by women for years and 2) gets women rape and death threats when they say it online or in public. His "fixes" don't seem to be fixes for anyone but him, and I just think I can't recommend it.
October 15, 2024
I thought this was a fantastic book. Worth a read for anyone, male or female. We’re at the pendulum swing wrt father involvement, I think; everyone needs to come up with what works best for them but I’m glad more husbands are more hands on in the home and with babies. Kids need to bond with their fathers from a young age! Interesting to consider the shifting of party politics: pro family, anti war, etc. We’re in the middle of an interesting transition point.
June 26, 2017
On this weeks Viewpoints Radio, we spoke with journalist and author Josh Levs about the unfair disadvantage of no paternal leave in the work place. To hear his story and to listen to our podcast, please check out this link! https://viewpointsradio.wordpress.com...
May 6, 2025
I think it was good highlighting the need for men to speak up about taking leave. I feel it under plays the role women play with the invisible load and motherhood penalty and a laundry list of other reasons why men taking leave would also help. We overall need federal paid leave .
August 7, 2017
A quick read with some great points. A shift of focus on fatherhood by the government & society will have greater long-term benefits even though it will hurt business short-term revenue.
December 31, 2021
A good companion to Lean In, and a good reminder that feminism is about choice, and the more choices for both sexes lead to greater choices for women. Treasure family time and your children.
October 26, 2023
Narrowcast in a big way - not what I thought it would be.
September 8, 2024
Thought provoking.
November 1, 2017
I’m the dad of two lovely little girls and I take care of them regularly. I do hair, paint nails, fix pretty dresses and change diapers. While currently my wife does more of this since she’s at home full-time while I work there have been years when I was the primary caregiver to our kids as her work schedule was longer than mine and less flexible.
I still remember a day at church when a lady heard that I’d be home alone on Saturday with my oldest daughter who was a toddler and made some comment along the lines of “Well let’s just hope she survives the day with daddy.”
Sure the comment was made in jest but it speaks to the cultural expectation that dad is a bumbling idiot who just hopes to make sure that the children survive while he’s on duty.
All In explores this cultural assumption of the ‘bad dad’ along with parental leave, and does it from all sides, not just the dad side. Looking at the US laws it explores I’m super lucky to live in Canada which supplies 12 months of parental leave (8 weeks is for mom then it can be split however) to pretty much anyone that would qualify for any employment assistance.
Not only is having awesome parents good for business as shown in this book, it’s good for families to have dad and mom in place for the first 6 weeks to bond with the child as it’s more likely that families will stay together then and that dad will stay involved with his children even if they don’t stay together.
While the title of the book indicates that the emphasis will be on dad, that’s not quite the case. Much of the book talks about mom, and non-traditional families and how they should be treated by the workplace.
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent or are one, this is a good book to read to help end your assumptions about how parents should act.
I still remember a day at church when a lady heard that I’d be home alone on Saturday with my oldest daughter who was a toddler and made some comment along the lines of “Well let’s just hope she survives the day with daddy.”
Sure the comment was made in jest but it speaks to the cultural expectation that dad is a bumbling idiot who just hopes to make sure that the children survive while he’s on duty.
All In explores this cultural assumption of the ‘bad dad’ along with parental leave, and does it from all sides, not just the dad side. Looking at the US laws it explores I’m super lucky to live in Canada which supplies 12 months of parental leave (8 weeks is for mom then it can be split however) to pretty much anyone that would qualify for any employment assistance.
Not only is having awesome parents good for business as shown in this book, it’s good for families to have dad and mom in place for the first 6 weeks to bond with the child as it’s more likely that families will stay together then and that dad will stay involved with his children even if they don’t stay together.
While the title of the book indicates that the emphasis will be on dad, that’s not quite the case. Much of the book talks about mom, and non-traditional families and how they should be treated by the workplace.
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent or are one, this is a good book to read to help end your assumptions about how parents should act.
March 14, 2017
One of the author's interviewees says he's hesitant to support same-sex couples adopting kids because they don't experience both genders (p.133-144).
November 1, 2016
Hugely important contribution to the burgeoning literature on the importance of family-friendly policies. Levs provides a unique voice for two reasons. First, as a man he's an important reminder that family issues are not only women's issues (paid family leave is his cause celebre). Second, he begins to open the important dialogue about masculinity and men in the home: the agonizingly slow counterweight to the impressive progress we've made as a society in supporting women in the workplace (at least rhetorically if not yet as fully in policy and practice).
The book is strongest in the opening chapters and in relating Levs' personal experience. The sections that seek to round out what would be a long essay into a book-length form feel less authentic and less compelling. Still a good read and an important contribution to the field. Hopefully a decade from now it will seem comical that this had to be written, but necessary it is.
The book is strongest in the opening chapters and in relating Levs' personal experience. The sections that seek to round out what would be a long essay into a book-length form feel less authentic and less compelling. Still a good read and an important contribution to the field. Hopefully a decade from now it will seem comical that this had to be written, but necessary it is.
September 25, 2019
(Reviewing years ex post facto)
My wife got this for me because I run a business and was interested in doing better for my employees, and because we'd recently started a family ourselves.
I was offput almost from the outset, with Levs offering sage advice like "lawyer up". Levs insists employees should come out swinging, make demands, and never compromise. Perhaps I'm biased, because I also sit on the other side of this, but I don't think antagonism is a solid starting point.
Generally, though, the tone of this book is one of self-important, snarky, grandstanding.
It took me a while to put my finger on what was bugging me though. About 1/2 way through, I started spending a little more time on the citations, and noted that a great many of them were from Focus on the Family.
That was my "aha!" moment. There's definitely a conservative (and probably religious) bias, which is strange for what, on its surface should be such a liberal topic.
My wife got this for me because I run a business and was interested in doing better for my employees, and because we'd recently started a family ourselves.
I was offput almost from the outset, with Levs offering sage advice like "lawyer up". Levs insists employees should come out swinging, make demands, and never compromise. Perhaps I'm biased, because I also sit on the other side of this, but I don't think antagonism is a solid starting point.
Generally, though, the tone of this book is one of self-important, snarky, grandstanding.
It took me a while to put my finger on what was bugging me though. About 1/2 way through, I started spending a little more time on the citations, and noted that a great many of them were from Focus on the Family.
That was my "aha!" moment. There's definitely a conservative (and probably religious) bias, which is strange for what, on its surface should be such a liberal topic.
September 17, 2015
I agree with his main points that society does not support working parents, and the macho image of fathers from the 1950s is still holding many men back.
However, there are times where the book veers into MRA territory with how certain things are phrased, the physical recovery time for birth and the physical demands of breastfeeding for women are glossed over, and there are certain interview subjects that perhaps could have been replaced with less controversial choices (Focus on the Family in particular).
Overall, I like how he suggests actions to take at the end of each chapter, and how he does try to interview a wide variety of people, and how he references many reliable scientific studies and articles to back up his statements.
However, there are times where the book veers into MRA territory with how certain things are phrased, the physical recovery time for birth and the physical demands of breastfeeding for women are glossed over, and there are certain interview subjects that perhaps could have been replaced with less controversial choices (Focus on the Family in particular).
Overall, I like how he suggests actions to take at the end of each chapter, and how he does try to interview a wide variety of people, and how he references many reliable scientific studies and articles to back up his statements.
January 7, 2016
The majority of the book is a powerful argument for better, more family friendly, policies in the workplace; specifically how those policies effect fathers. It's an approach to feminism and gender equality from a male point of reference. Then spends Some time dwelling on the modern roll of fathers, and how far we've come as providers for our children, and how far we still need to go.
Some former reviewers have claimed that it verges on MRA language; I would counter that Josh is trying to get beyond a bias formed from male privilege, and sometimes he stumbles, but overall does a good job.
The writing style is fast paced, and it was an easy read. I finished it in four days despite having to fit it into the hectic schedule of a SAHD.
Some former reviewers have claimed that it verges on MRA language; I would counter that Josh is trying to get beyond a bias formed from male privilege, and sometimes he stumbles, but overall does a good job.
The writing style is fast paced, and it was an easy read. I finished it in four days despite having to fit it into the hectic schedule of a SAHD.
September 9, 2016
Although I am not American, I really enjoyed this, spending a lazy Friday afternoon in the sun. I recognised myself shamefully in being a gatekeeper to my children and I cried at the beautiful blog excerpt by Oren Miller. In the first business my husband owned in the late eighties, he employed several women who enjoyed flexitime and as a result loved working for the company. My manly husband has been such a wonderful father and I know he has wished that he could have spent more time with his girls. Together we have loved parenthood and our precious girls make us so proud.
January 23, 2016
Really great book about the American culture of fatherhood. A must-read for all working dads and dads-to-be. Lots of research combined with personal stories. This book really opened my eyes to the importance of paternal leave. I especially liked the end where Josh discusses the pressures of having children and his personal experience with anxiety.
September 9, 2016
Although I'm not American, I really enjoyed this. I recognized myself in being a gatekeeper to my children and I cried at the beautiful blog excerpt by Oren Miller. My manly husband has been a wonderful father and I know he has wished that he could have spent more time with his girls. Together we have loved parenthood and our precious girls make us so proud.
May 29, 2016
Interesting takes on how to approach family friendly policies in the US workforce today. The second half was much more general (importance of fathers in kids' lives etc.) and didn't keep my interest as much.
November 17, 2015
Paige really wanted me to read this. It was worth it. Good for baby and for work.
September 4, 2016
Very interesting. Not my direct world !but still very interesting. For me the stereotyping of dads/men in the media was very interesting
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews