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When dead men tell mo' tales...

Running afoul of a pants-less ghost pirate wasn't exactly what Paranormal Psychologist, Matilda Schmidt had in mind when she took off for some R & R. Even at a quiet beach-side bungalow, Matilda can't catch a moment's peace when the restless spirits aren't the only ones haunting her bedroom.

Marooned by a disappearing demigod, and seeking a solution to banish her unwelcome guests, Matilda rides shotgun with a hit man who's better at making ghosts than eliminating them. When Matilda's new-found abilities leave her feeling more psychotic than psychic, she's forced to consider an offer she doesn't want to take, but can't afford to refuse.

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First published September 15, 2014

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About the author

Cynthia St. Aubin

93 books705 followers
USA Today bestselling author Cynthia St. Aubin wrote her first play at age eight and made her brothers perform it for the admission price of gum wrappers. A steal, considering she provided the wrappers in advance. Though her early work debuted to mixed reviews, she never quite gave up on the writing thing, even while earning a mostly useless master's degree in art history and taking her turn as a cube monkey in the corporate warren.

Because the voices in her head kept talking to her, and they discourage drinking at work, she started writing instead. When she's not standing in front of the fridge eating cheese, she's hard at work figuring out which mythological, art historical, or paranormal friends to play with next. She lives in Colorado with the love of her life and three surly cats.

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5 stars
132 (44%)
4 stars
100 (33%)
3 stars
52 (17%)
2 stars
8 (2%)
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5 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
Profile Image for Madison Warner Fairbanks.
3,560 reviews504 followers
February 8, 2024
Unassailable by Cynthia St Aubin
The Case Files of Dr Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist series #5. Best read in series order.
Dr. Matilda Schmidt heads to Hilton Head for a break from the chaos that has become her life. Trying to escape the paranormal is an exercise in futility. She can now see ghosts and has a pirate with no pants asking for her help.

Is it Liam or Crixus or both that have made such an uproar in her life? Maybe it was the leprechaun. Matilda gets help from Liam to help the pirate and ends up in an unusual situation. (No spoilers from me but think “l o v e”.)
It’s a crazy new life for Matilda.
Ridiculous, amusing and all out entertaining.
Profile Image for Heather Fortman.
125 reviews46 followers
September 17, 2014
Un... believably fantastic!

I think this is Cynthia's best book yet. The humor is still there, the intrigue, the suspense; all of them are still there but this one? Yeah, it just made me quiver with anticipation as I turned each page!

I will never again look at a pirate the same! Or booty. Or… yeah… just yeah! The new characters, ghosts in this case, are wonderful. Crixus and Liam? Still swoon-worthy! Matilda… I have NO idea how she deals with it all!

The poor thing can't even take a much needed vacation without something (or someone) barging in on her hiatus!

I cannot WAIT to see what they get up to next!

Profile Image for Tiffinie Helmer.
Author 40 books305 followers
September 19, 2014
I have read everything of Cynthia St. Aubin's and couldn't wait to read this. I was up all night laughing, and kicked out of bed for the noises I made. Another winner! Love Matilda and can't wait to see who she ends up with!
Profile Image for Kathy.
2,613 reviews43 followers
October 6, 2020
This is the fifth book in the series. They need to be read in order. Dr. Schmidt snuck away on vacation. She just needs some time to figure everything out in her head. She is technically married to a hit man even though he forged her signature. Then there is the demi god who started all this by bringing her paranormal clients. Her vacation only lasts a little over a day before her life comes knocking. Crixus comes calling for their promised one night. Something always seems to stop them. Then there are the two fighting pirate ghosts and the ghost hunters staying at the same inn as her. Matilda finds herself wondering if she is going crazy like her mother. She can see and hear ghosts and they want her help. This book had me laughing and then feeling for Dr. Schmidt. She has a lot going on in her life. She is just trying to figure everything out and her place in it. She finds herself wanting both men and not being able to choose. They each bring something different to the table. I love this series so much. It is a fun light hearted series. The books are on the shorter side so they are fast reads. Great job Cynthia. I look forward to reading the next one.
Profile Image for Carol.
320 reviews2 followers
August 28, 2025
I SWEAR IF SHE CHOOSES LIAM

Listen I am now getting annoyed with the fact that Crixus keeps getting interrupted but nothing happens when Liam is around which makes me suspicious also Liam is manipulative and keeps trying to change her...the dude filed false documents to wed her and still hasn't undone it...HE AIN'T THE ONE AND HE BETTER NOT END UP BEING THE ONE OR I WILL BE MEGA MAD.
684 reviews2 followers
February 10, 2024
Matilda tries to have a vacation. Of course, it won’t be relaxing. She finds out more about her mom and her life. Her life gets even crazier. She can see ghosts now. Matilda’s adventures are hilarious. I can’t wait for the next book.
Profile Image for Crystal P.
744 reviews10 followers
January 16, 2023
When Matilda takes a little vacation, the weirdness that is her life gets cranked up a few notches. Turns out she has a special set of skills that were unbeknownst to her up until now and ones she’d rather not have. There are funny moments, but also some serious ones as she is faced with the realities of her new life!
Profile Image for Ashley Yungbluth.
710 reviews7 followers
February 4, 2025
"Unassailable" by Cynthia St. Aubin is book five in "The Case Files of Dr. Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist. Matilda is taking a long overdue break from reality. She has had a lot going on and just wanted a break when things seem to find her. She ends up seeing a pirate ghost who is seeking out her help. Liam comes to her aid to help out but doesn't have the abilities that Matilda has. I'm trying not to like one of Matilda's love interests more than the other, but it has been hard not to. I can't wait to see who she ends up cutting ties with and who will win her heart. I like how Matilda is learning about her abilities and figuring things out.
Profile Image for Anna Salamatin.
516 reviews3 followers
November 15, 2014
This installment finds our favorite but frazzled psychologist on a much needed beach vacation. Her life, personal and professional has been one paranormal escapade after another ever since Crixus, the sex addicted demi god & supernatural bounty hunter and Liam, the super smexy mob hit man came storming in, each with their own agenda.
For Liam, she was just another job. Kidnapping her for the Irish mob, who mistakenly thought she had stolen their gold.
Crixus wanted her to help save the world by bringing her supernatural clients who needed help so balance could be restored to the world.
So, Matilda has dealt with Leprechauns, Were Bears, a suicidal Easter Bunny, Goldilocks, the irresistible Adonis along with the Princesses Aphrodite & Persephone who were fighting over Adonis.......Oh Yeah! Her schizophrenic Mother had been kidnapped, and Matilda has to steal a key from Rolly, the security guard to free her mother. Apparently Rolly is sitting on a very large inheritance..........Yep, I think she deserves a vacation alright, but we know that's not gona happen, right? So first she meets a couple of ghost hunting kids at the Hilton Head Inn bed & breakfast she is staying at, Enter Crixus, and the hottest bath tub scene you Could imagine, but gets interrupted by ghosts who are two Pirates ( Gaybeard and Sin pants) who are constantly at each other. Sin pants actually has no pants and wants Matilda to get them from the museum where they are on display........... Enter Liam who along with one of the ghost hunters (Dean) decides they are going with her. I think you already know that this isn't gona end well. Total mayhem ensues and your not gona believe what happens next.......
We are left with Matilda needing to make some decisions about the future after Liam lays his feelings at her feet. I am on to the next, can't wait to see what happens next!
I was gifted this book in return for my honest review
Profile Image for Louisa.
593 reviews71 followers
September 19, 2014
OMG So good I'm yakking rainbows

Another awesome read from the very talented Cynthia St. Aubin.

After all the crazy escapades found in the previous books, Matilda is taking a much need holiday on her own with only her books to company. Sadly the solitude she seeks does long thanks to a couple of crazy dead pirates - Sinpants who had the misfortune of dying with no pants on and the colourful Gaybeard and his parrot.
Ghosts aren't the only thing stopping Matilda from her peaceful vacation - Crixus and Liam both make an appearance and tempers flare. Will she be able get to the bottom of the ghost problem and sort out her feelings for the demigod and the smoking hot hit man.

Cynthia has an amazing way with words and leaves you wanting more when you sadly reach the end of each story. Thankfully October isn't too long away - So bring on the Undead
Profile Image for Heather Stanley.
115 reviews7 followers
September 19, 2014
As always Cynthia has done it again!!! I love this series!!!! the humor is spot on and the story as always great.

Matilda just needs a break to think about things without all of the chaos in her life, for a smart chick she should have known that would never happen!!! Add a beach, sun and sand and two pirate ghosts and the fun begins :) add on top two ghost hunters, Crixus and Liam, fireworks all the way baby!!! With Matilda's need to help everyone including the supernatural all it requires is a little B&E.....

As always I loved this one and cannot wait for the next!! If you don't read this you are missing out on a good time...Argggg! Maties!!!!!
Profile Image for Conny.
1,148 reviews35 followers
September 24, 2014
Whenever a new book by Cynthia St Aubin comes out, I get super excited because I know I will be thoroughly entertained. This is the 5th book in her "Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist" series and it did not disappoint. I found myself laughing out loud and staying up way passed my bedtime again to finish the book. I still have not made up my mind who I would like the good doctor to end up with, because both men are super hunky and each one has a big list of Pros's and of course a few Con's. The only negative thing I have to say is that I wish her books would be longer, because I just can't get enough of all her colorful characters and fun plot lines. Give us more Cynthia, please.
Profile Image for SB Morales.
447 reviews87 followers
September 18, 2014
This has to be the sexiest story yet! Trouble is always finding Matilda. She is one lucky doc with her choice of a hot hit man or a sexy demi god. I love how St. Aubin can make me giggle then the next moment I'm fanning my self. St. Aubin writes some of the most beautiful phrases I've ever read. I think one of favorites in this book is, "Alone, I watched the waves spill moonlight onto the sand and steal it back again." I can't wait to find out what trouble Matilda gets into next! If you love reading a funny and sexy as hell story you better grab this series. St. Aubin will have your e-reader steaming!
Profile Image for Kiki Sidira.
262 reviews53 followers
January 26, 2015
Oh! My! God!
What an ending! Do we have a release date for the next one, yet?
In this book, Matilda starts seeing ghosts and listening to voices.
When a ghost requests her help, there is not much she can do than accept to help. And that’s when trouble begins…
Oh! Wait! Trouble had already begun earlier by Crixus, but you didn’t hear that from me!
I am #TeamCrixusAllTheWay!
You need to buy this book ASAP (though you might need the previous four, as well ‘cause they are NOT standalones), especially if you need a funny read!
I do not think it’s by chance she’s the :
BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF SQUIRT-COFFEE-OUT-YOUR-NOSE-FUNNY PARANORMAL MYSTERY NOVELS!!!
Profile Image for Sydney Hopke.
1,393 reviews18 followers
September 26, 2014
She did it again!!! Another laugh out loud read, had me rolling aye matey. Matilda needs a rest so she goes on vacation but of course her crazy life calls her back to her reality. Enter the hotties, Liam and Crixus, pair of ghost hunters and some ghosts. Be prepared to meet a ghost missing his pants, adventure and some WOW moments with the hotties. Get ready to laugh once again to be taken into a world only Cynthia can lead you to. I can't wait for the next book!!
Profile Image for Debby P..
39 reviews5 followers
September 29, 2014
I was gifted this book by the author. Cynthia does it again! Laugh out loud funny, sexy and hot! A vacation for Dr.Shcmidt? Not if Julie & Crixus have anything to do with it. Who can say no to the hottest demi-god on the planet? Plus this time we have pirates, yes you heard me, pirates. ARGH! I love this series and can't wait for the next installment. I recommend this and all Cynthia's work to those that love a great story.
Profile Image for Debs Krulder.
51 reviews1 follower
September 27, 2014
Wonderful, Funny, Sexy and Perfect as usual .... I love the way Cynthia writes, her stories flow and never a dull moment... I can't wait for the next book.. Thank you again Cynthia for a Fantastic read!!! OH!!! He said he LOVES her !!!!!!!!
Profile Image for Brittany.
3,610 reviews27 followers
September 20, 2014
Cynthia St. Aubin has done it yet again. This is the next in her Matilda Schmidt series and it was just awesome. I did not want it to end. It was a really great read. I cannot wait for the next installment!!
3 reviews
October 1, 2014
I found this book to be Fantastic! it was funny an kept me turning the pages! Cynthia is such a creative and authentic author I adore this series. Ooops She Did It Again she wrote another Great book I must share with my friends. I highly recommend it to anyone who reads comedy an fantasy books
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
1,160 reviews1 follower
September 24, 2014
Oh. My. Goodness darn I want more!! Crixus and Liam Jesus how can you choose between them? I'd be a dysfunctional mess too! Can't wait for more!
Profile Image for Amy.
389 reviews7 followers
September 30, 2014
Wicked awesome! I think this Cynthia's best yet in the series. Matilda is now seeing ghosts and hearing voices. Sexy and funny! What more could you ask for?!
Profile Image for Samantha.
1,977 reviews42 followers
January 26, 2022
Yet another story that pulled me right into its hilarity and shenanigans. Poor Matlida. Everything always happens to her. She was along for a wild ride in this one. The ghosts kept he on her toes and her head spinning with all the mental possibilities. I felt for her. There were also some great moments with Liam that I found heart-warming. I can't wait to see what happens to her next as her story continues.
Profile Image for Heather.
362 reviews6 followers
February 8, 2022
My rating scale:
5☆ - I loved this book and it brought out true emotion in me (laughter, anger, a good cry, etc)
4☆ - I loved this book.
3☆ - I liked this book.
2☆ - I didn't really care for this book.
1☆ - I did not like this book at all and probably did not finish it.
Profile Image for Sandy.
1,084 reviews11 followers
August 17, 2018
Not my favorite. Not enough Liam and Crixus or something.
Profile Image for Tash.
129 reviews
January 15, 2026
Unpopular opinion (probably) but I don’t like Liam
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews