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A Parent's Death: A Biblical and Spiritual Companion
In A Parent’s Death, renowned biblical studies teacher Margaret Nutting Ralph reflects on the passing of each of her parents and the biblical and spiritual lessons she learned through these difficult times. The book grows out of her personal experiences, but goes beyond them to explore the meaning of death in the Christian tradition, emphasize the belief that life does not end with life on earth, and offer hope and comfort to those who are suffering.
Each chapter includes a section on spiritual lessons learned, reflection questions, and biblical passages for meditation that invite readers to apply the lessons to their own lives. The book may be of great spiritual help to family members, caregivers, chaplains, and hospice workers as they accompany those who are dying as well as reach out to the loved ones of those who are dying as they approach the veil together.
Each chapter includes a section on spiritual lessons learned, reflection questions, and biblical passages for meditation that invite readers to apply the lessons to their own lives. The book may be of great spiritual help to family members, caregivers, chaplains, and hospice workers as they accompany those who are dying as well as reach out to the loved ones of those who are dying as they approach the veil together.
156 pages, Hardcover
First published January 14, 2015
3 people want to read
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December 31, 2015
Some helpful reminders about not clinging and submission to the will of our loving God. Disagree with her belief that one can be saved simply by believing in God and being "United" therefore to Christ by extension.
Key quotes:
• (1 Cor 11:27–29). In this passage the body to which Paul is referring is the body of Christ that is the Church. The parts of the body of Christ that the Corinthians are not discerning are the poor in their midst. By mistreating the poor, the Corinthians are responsible for the body and blood of Christ. 606
• The lack of recognition theme continues in John’s Gospel, first with the story of Jesus’s appearance to Mary Magdalene (John 20:11–18). Again, in order to understand what John is teaching, instead of asking, “Why couldn’t Mary Magdalene recognize Jesus, whom she loved and for whom she was looking?” we should ask, “What is John teaching his audience by telling the story this way?” 677
• Once Mary Magdalene recognizes her friend and teacher, she clings to him. Jesus does not want her to cling to their old way of being in relationship but to leave him free to return to his Father. Jesus says: “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father” (John 20:17). This, too, is true of all of us who have lost loved ones. We are not to cling to them. We are to leave them free to move on to the next stage of life, knowing that they are in the hands of God who loves them like a parent: Jesus says: “I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God” (John 20:17). 692
• Jesus’s postresurrection appearances are not teaching us that Jesus, soon after his resurrection, was only occasionally present with his disciples, that he came and went. Rather, the stories are teaching that Jesus is always present with his disciples, but that his presence is not always manifest to them. 701
• Scripture scholars surmise that the reason John pictures the beloved disciple and Peter together, and the beloved disciple always arriving at the truth first, is that John’s community emphasized love over authority. The beloved disciple symbolized the priority of love. Peter symbolized duly delegated authority. Both arrive at the same conclusions, but love gets there first. Jesus is feeding and caring for his disciples whether they recognize him or not. However, one is more likely to recognize the presence of the risen Lord when one is acting in love. 725
• I must not cling to those who are dying, but leave them free to go to God. What does it mean not to cling to those who are dying? Does my behavior leave my loved ones free to move on? “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father” (John 20:17). 759
• God can redeem every situation, and good can be the final result of our accepting suffering. We can learn a great deal from the more difficult experiences in our lives. I believe that, while God does not will sin or suffering, depending on the way we respond to them, even these experiences can have a positive outcome in our lives. 808
• John, as discussed in chapter 4, does not place the good news of Jesus’s resurrection on the lips of an angel or a person dressed in white, but has the beloved disciple and Peter rush to the tomb after hearing from Mary Magdalene that the tomb is empty. The beloved disciple, the person who represents love, is the first to believe. 1059
• For if the dead are not raised, neither has Christ been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is vain; you are still in your sins. Then those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are the most pitiable people of all. (1 Cor 15:12–19) 1081
• the resurrection is the core event upon which everything else rests. All other beliefs flow from the resurrection: our understanding of Jesus’s identity, the authority we therefore put behind Jesus’s teachings, and our own hope in life after death, both for our loved ones and for ourselves. 1084
• To say that the lamb is the only one worthy to open the seals, thus precipitating the unfolding of events, is, through symbolic language, saying that the risen Christ, even during times of suffering and persecution, has not lost control of the course of human history. 1095
• For the Lamb who is in the center of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to springs of life-giving water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” (Rev 7:13–17) 1105
• The book of Revelation, written to give hope to suffering people, places all hope in Jesus Christ, the lamb of God, and on his resurrection, on his victory over death. 1107
• There is a place of no suffering; there is an act of people’s disobeying God’s revealed moral order; there is a place of suffering. 1117
• Jesus’s suffering is a revelation of God’s love for us and a revelation that suffering leads, not to death, but to new life. We Christians believe that if we take Jesus as our model and accept unavoidable suffering, uniting our suffering to Christ’s, our suffering, too, can lead to new life both for ourselves and for others. 1154
• “Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given us” (Rom 5:3–5). Far from being punishment, suffering is sometimes, in hindsight, seen as a gift. We recognize that because of our suffering we have become different people: more sympathetic, more understanding, stronger, more generous, and more loving. 1158
• To believe in life after death, and to believe that suffering has a purpose in God’s loving plan for God’s people, either for the person suffering or for others, doesn’t relieve us of the pain of suffering, but it does change our experience of suffering. It motivates us to accept suffering rather than to avoid it by acts of unfaithfulness. It fills us with purpose and a commitment to see the situation through as lovingly as possible. It leads us to model ourselves on Christ and to willingly accept suffering so as to fulfill God’s loving purpose, even if that purpose is beyond our comprehension. Finally, it motivates us to model ourselves on Christ and to pray, “Not as I will, but as you will” (Mark 26:39). United to Christ’s suffering, our suffering, too, can help to accomplish God’s will for the world. 1188
• “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom 15:13). 1196
• Historically, God revealed God’s self through events. Do I believe that God still reveals God’s self through events? Am I open to growing in my understanding of life and its meaning through probing God’s ongoing self-revelation through events? “The Lord has done great things for us” (Ps 126:3). 1202
• “How numerous have you made, / O Lord, my God, your wondrous deeds! / And in your plans for us / there is none to equal you; / Should I wish to declare or to tell them, / they would be too many to recount” (Ps 40:6). 1205
Key quotes:
• (1 Cor 11:27–29). In this passage the body to which Paul is referring is the body of Christ that is the Church. The parts of the body of Christ that the Corinthians are not discerning are the poor in their midst. By mistreating the poor, the Corinthians are responsible for the body and blood of Christ. 606
• The lack of recognition theme continues in John’s Gospel, first with the story of Jesus’s appearance to Mary Magdalene (John 20:11–18). Again, in order to understand what John is teaching, instead of asking, “Why couldn’t Mary Magdalene recognize Jesus, whom she loved and for whom she was looking?” we should ask, “What is John teaching his audience by telling the story this way?” 677
• Once Mary Magdalene recognizes her friend and teacher, she clings to him. Jesus does not want her to cling to their old way of being in relationship but to leave him free to return to his Father. Jesus says: “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father” (John 20:17). This, too, is true of all of us who have lost loved ones. We are not to cling to them. We are to leave them free to move on to the next stage of life, knowing that they are in the hands of God who loves them like a parent: Jesus says: “I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God” (John 20:17). 692
• Jesus’s postresurrection appearances are not teaching us that Jesus, soon after his resurrection, was only occasionally present with his disciples, that he came and went. Rather, the stories are teaching that Jesus is always present with his disciples, but that his presence is not always manifest to them. 701
• Scripture scholars surmise that the reason John pictures the beloved disciple and Peter together, and the beloved disciple always arriving at the truth first, is that John’s community emphasized love over authority. The beloved disciple symbolized the priority of love. Peter symbolized duly delegated authority. Both arrive at the same conclusions, but love gets there first. Jesus is feeding and caring for his disciples whether they recognize him or not. However, one is more likely to recognize the presence of the risen Lord when one is acting in love. 725
• I must not cling to those who are dying, but leave them free to go to God. What does it mean not to cling to those who are dying? Does my behavior leave my loved ones free to move on? “Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father” (John 20:17). 759
• God can redeem every situation, and good can be the final result of our accepting suffering. We can learn a great deal from the more difficult experiences in our lives. I believe that, while God does not will sin or suffering, depending on the way we respond to them, even these experiences can have a positive outcome in our lives. 808
• John, as discussed in chapter 4, does not place the good news of Jesus’s resurrection on the lips of an angel or a person dressed in white, but has the beloved disciple and Peter rush to the tomb after hearing from Mary Magdalene that the tomb is empty. The beloved disciple, the person who represents love, is the first to believe. 1059
• For if the dead are not raised, neither has Christ been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is vain; you are still in your sins. Then those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are the most pitiable people of all. (1 Cor 15:12–19) 1081
• the resurrection is the core event upon which everything else rests. All other beliefs flow from the resurrection: our understanding of Jesus’s identity, the authority we therefore put behind Jesus’s teachings, and our own hope in life after death, both for our loved ones and for ourselves. 1084
• To say that the lamb is the only one worthy to open the seals, thus precipitating the unfolding of events, is, through symbolic language, saying that the risen Christ, even during times of suffering and persecution, has not lost control of the course of human history. 1095
• For the Lamb who is in the center of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to springs of life-giving water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” (Rev 7:13–17) 1105
• The book of Revelation, written to give hope to suffering people, places all hope in Jesus Christ, the lamb of God, and on his resurrection, on his victory over death. 1107
• There is a place of no suffering; there is an act of people’s disobeying God’s revealed moral order; there is a place of suffering. 1117
• Jesus’s suffering is a revelation of God’s love for us and a revelation that suffering leads, not to death, but to new life. We Christians believe that if we take Jesus as our model and accept unavoidable suffering, uniting our suffering to Christ’s, our suffering, too, can lead to new life both for ourselves and for others. 1154
• “Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given us” (Rom 5:3–5). Far from being punishment, suffering is sometimes, in hindsight, seen as a gift. We recognize that because of our suffering we have become different people: more sympathetic, more understanding, stronger, more generous, and more loving. 1158
• To believe in life after death, and to believe that suffering has a purpose in God’s loving plan for God’s people, either for the person suffering or for others, doesn’t relieve us of the pain of suffering, but it does change our experience of suffering. It motivates us to accept suffering rather than to avoid it by acts of unfaithfulness. It fills us with purpose and a commitment to see the situation through as lovingly as possible. It leads us to model ourselves on Christ and to willingly accept suffering so as to fulfill God’s loving purpose, even if that purpose is beyond our comprehension. Finally, it motivates us to model ourselves on Christ and to pray, “Not as I will, but as you will” (Mark 26:39). United to Christ’s suffering, our suffering, too, can help to accomplish God’s will for the world. 1188
• “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom 15:13). 1196
• Historically, God revealed God’s self through events. Do I believe that God still reveals God’s self through events? Am I open to growing in my understanding of life and its meaning through probing God’s ongoing self-revelation through events? “The Lord has done great things for us” (Ps 126:3). 1202
• “How numerous have you made, / O Lord, my God, your wondrous deeds! / And in your plans for us / there is none to equal you; / Should I wish to declare or to tell them, / they would be too many to recount” (Ps 40:6). 1205
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