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Pretend They Are Dead: A Father's Search for the Truth
When Steven's dad, Allen, disappeared, he left behind more than his children-he left a legacy of loss and family secrets. Though working just miles away, Allen gave up his kids for adoption. He was soon replaced by another man, one with his own four children, whose strict rules and explosive temper made home a place of fear rather than refuge.
Steven spent decades wrestling with the wounds of abandonment and abuse, burying his pain so deep it became "the feeling of no feeling." A forced move to Florida, a brutal fist fight, and a grisly car crash pushed Steven to life's edge resulting in a move to Israel, where he discovered that "self-help" meant he would die a failure unless he learned to help himself.
Pretend They Are Dead is a gripping memoir of survival, trauma, and resilience-told with raw honesty, filmic detail, and defiant humor. Steven grew up Two men claimed to be his father but neither proved to be a dad. Determined not to repeat the past, he become an unwavering presence in the lives of his own five children. His story will both shock and inspire.
Steven spent decades wrestling with the wounds of abandonment and abuse, burying his pain so deep it became "the feeling of no feeling." A forced move to Florida, a brutal fist fight, and a grisly car crash pushed Steven to life's edge resulting in a move to Israel, where he discovered that "self-help" meant he would die a failure unless he learned to help himself.
Pretend They Are Dead is a gripping memoir of survival, trauma, and resilience-told with raw honesty, filmic detail, and defiant humor. Steven grew up Two men claimed to be his father but neither proved to be a dad. Determined not to repeat the past, he become an unwavering presence in the lives of his own five children. His story will both shock and inspire.
Kindle Edition
Published June 10, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
May 25, 2025
This was an interesting read for me since the person who wrote it is my dad.
I always knew he didn’t have a great father in his life and just being a human I could tell how badly he wanted to be a good dad. I hope I told him before but if not I guess he will read it on his first Goodreads review, something he’s worked 10 years for. But he always was and he still is an awesome amazing great dad.
This book obviously was way too emotional for me since there’s a personal connection but I think anyone who isn’t my dad’s kid or relative will like it and to my knowledge I know all of you.
I always knew he didn’t have a great father in his life and just being a human I could tell how badly he wanted to be a good dad. I hope I told him before but if not I guess he will read it on his first Goodreads review, something he’s worked 10 years for. But he always was and he still is an awesome amazing great dad.
This book obviously was way too emotional for me since there’s a personal connection but I think anyone who isn’t my dad’s kid or relative will like it and to my knowledge I know all of you.
August 24, 2025
Needing a dad. Growing up, my life felt unbearable, shadowed by my alcoholic father, from whom I desperately craved affection. But my life seemed insignificant next to Steven Scott Eichenblatt in this heart-wrenching tale of an adorable child who yearned for love. This story, so well-written, wrung my heart; I could almost feel the chill of the room as this child desperately sought connection with the uncaring adults in the presence of abuse.
July 18, 2025
Love this book!!!
Divorce was tough back in the 1960/1970s for all parties involved, and Steven Eichenblatt expertly covered a myriad of serious family issues with not much legal resolutions back then. I love how in spite of it all, he created wonderful life with his own beautiful family.
Divorce was tough back in the 1960/1970s for all parties involved, and Steven Eichenblatt expertly covered a myriad of serious family issues with not much legal resolutions back then. I love how in spite of it all, he created wonderful life with his own beautiful family.
June 20, 2025
Pretend They Are Dead is for the people with dysfunctional families, the fathers being dads without their own dads, and people just looking for something to relate to their own troubled upbringing that will give them hope.
Steve does an amazing job of describing resilience through his own tough upbringing. His writing makes you feel like he is telling his story directly to you. The story flows seamlessly through his life's downfalls and triumphs and will have you burning through the pages to see how everything will play out. His style of writing will have you feeling like you're in the room with him during his experiences.
Pretend They Are Dead should be a recommended read for all fathers and parents that aren't sure how to parent because of their own, but also for those who feel held back by their own past. I'd also recommend it for anyone wanting a page burning memior with a feel good ending.
Steve does an amazing job of describing resilience through his own tough upbringing. His writing makes you feel like he is telling his story directly to you. The story flows seamlessly through his life's downfalls and triumphs and will have you burning through the pages to see how everything will play out. His style of writing will have you feeling like you're in the room with him during his experiences.
Pretend They Are Dead should be a recommended read for all fathers and parents that aren't sure how to parent because of their own, but also for those who feel held back by their own past. I'd also recommend it for anyone wanting a page burning memior with a feel good ending.
September 5, 2025
I don’t know how Steven wrote his story. From a home that wasn’t actually loving to a stepfather that was cruel to the kids and his mom and then being adopted when you didn’t want to be. One of the best things was that he was able to stand his ground and not call the man that adopted him against his wishes “dad”. The timeframe of his early life makes me think of mine (which I do often) and I feel that this happened so much back then—I wanted to go to the police but was afraid I would be sent back and beaten more so Steven I know some of your pain. This should probably be a must read book before marriage and having kids. I am glad Steven broke the cycle and loves his children but i would have liked to know what his relationship was with is mother after the man who adopted him died. A tough story but hard to put down.
August 14, 2025
A Hard Story, Told with Honesty and Heart
Pretend They Are Dead tells Steven Eichenblatt’s story of growing up in a troubled home and how those years still affect him. He shares memories from childhood alongside moments with his own children, showing the difference between then and now.
Some parts are painful, like the fight with his adoptive father or the accident where he cut his finger and neglect he lived through. Others are quieter, like fishing trips or playing catch, but they still carry the weight of the past.
It’s a straightforward, honest book about facing old wounds and trying to be a better parent.
Pretend They Are Dead tells Steven Eichenblatt’s story of growing up in a troubled home and how those years still affect him. He shares memories from childhood alongside moments with his own children, showing the difference between then and now.
Some parts are painful, like the fight with his adoptive father or the accident where he cut his finger and neglect he lived through. Others are quieter, like fishing trips or playing catch, but they still carry the weight of the past.
It’s a straightforward, honest book about facing old wounds and trying to be a better parent.
November 12, 2025
This book was a very emotional read for me. It started off with a bang and then slowly moves to reveal a life of abuse and neglect inflicted upon Steven by both of his father figures.
Steven is a natural storyteller making this a fairly quick read once you become immersed in it.
It ended exactly the way I wanted it to.
Steven is a natural storyteller making this a fairly quick read once you become immersed in it.
It ended exactly the way I wanted it to.
June 14, 2025
Incredible story
I’ve never been so personally moved. This story of a father’s abandonment and love have shown light on tales not often spoken about, and caused me to reconsider my own story. Hello Yellow
I’ve never been so personally moved. This story of a father’s abandonment and love have shown light on tales not often spoken about, and caused me to reconsider my own story. Hello Yellow
September 1, 2025
quite interesting
A good read, first hand account of a boy growing up in a most unique childhood. His parents divorce and his dad’s very odd behavior toward his children is reinvestigated as this boy is a grown up now.
A good read, first hand account of a boy growing up in a most unique childhood. His parents divorce and his dad’s very odd behavior toward his children is reinvestigated as this boy is a grown up now.
September 6, 2025
Wow! what an amazing memoir, the book is a real page turner. I love books like this. I saw it posted in a memoir group I’m in and I’m so glad I found it and got to read it. Absolutely amazing.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews