Half Light

by Mahesh Rao

High in the mountains of Darjeeling, a landslide traps the guests and staff of a crumbling hotel. Cooped up inside, two men exchange lingering glances. For Neville, this is one of many thrilling encounters—urgent kisses in stairwells and parked cars. But for hotel employee Pavan, their connection threatens to unravel everything he has kept hidden.

Years later, their paths collide once more, surrounded by the towering skyscrapers and ghostly smog of Mumbai. Neville is now a restless graduate, adrift in the city, while Pavan has started a new life, away from the hills. When Neville strides into his workplace demanding a meeting, their flirtation turns fraught, and long-buried secrets threaten to tumble into the light.

Set on the cusp of India's landmark ruling to decriminalise homosexuality, this is a tender, richly atmospheric and elegantly wry story of outlawed desire—and the fragile hope for a life beyond concealment.

Genres: India, Gay, Queer, LGBT, Literary Fiction, Fiction

288 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 11, 2025

Reviews

[endrju]

India is an enormous country, almost beyond comprehension for someone from this part of the world. Yet, I haven't seen much queer literature from India. Even less queer literature dealing with national minorities within India itself (there are caste and religious differences - but national ones?). In any case, the novel is quite engaging. In addition to dealing with the economic and political realities of the time, it features a compelling "will they-won't they" narrative, and Manesh Rao deftly plays with readers' expectations. I greatly enjoyed how he decided to play it out in the end, choosing the road less traveled. I want to read more Indian queer literature, so please recommend some if you read this review.

[Jamie Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

So gorgeous, a very subdued, rather introspective novel about access to desire, not only geographically but socially. What allows a man to "be gay"? Is it money, youth, lack of responsibility or general flamboyance? And what freedom do some men have over others to pursue those parts of themselves?

Admittedly, it's slow at the beginning, but the pace picks up and everything comes crashing down in the most spectacular way.

[Chris L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Acclaimed writer Mahesh Rao returns with ‘Half Light,’ a fictional look at the devastating effects of section 377 on the lives of two gay men, Pavan and Neville. Pavan works in hotels and he does his best to scrape by without being noticed. Neville is aimless and has been sheltered for most of his life. Both men are secretive about their affections and hide their sexual identities from friends, family and society because they fear imprisonment and rejection. When they encounter each other at a run-down hotel, their relationship will have long-lasting effects.

Rao shows what happens when someone's identity is criminalised. Under section 377, a gay man has to watch every movement, every gesture, and every word. He can rarely inhabit the world around him because he fears being discovered. Pavan and Neville are in a constant state of emotional and psychological duress. As a result, they do not form lasting connections with people because they never know if others will reject them or turn them into the police as long as section 377 is enforced.

Rao has created a sympathetic portrait of two men struggling to understand their place in a world that is often antagonistic to their very existence. Yet Rao highlights how Pavan and Neville have shut themselves off from those around them as a means of self-protection. Neville never gives his mother a chance to know the real him because he lives in a constant state of fear. He acts out because he has never been allowed to develop emotionally because doing so would require him to be truthful about his sexuality. Pavan has one moment towards the end where he is forced to reveal his sexuality to someone, and Rao writes this scene in a humanistic and character-based way.

The book is not a romance, but a melancholy and sobering look at what cruel and archaic laws do to people like Pavan and Neville. Rao writes with a researcher's understanding of what happens to gay men when they are turned into criminals for wanting to exist and be loved. Heartbreaking and beautiful.

[Haxxunne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Elegant, iron and velvet anti-romance
—
In the early 2010s, Pavan and Neville’s paths cross in a remote hotel in Darjeeling. Urbane and bored, Neville tempts the anxiously closeted Pavan into a secret sexual affair; but when one of Pavan’s hotel colleagues catches sight of the two together and tragedy strikes, they are forced to part, keeping all the secrets between them. Four years later in Mumbai, when Neville catches a glimpse of Pavan on the street, Neville thinks that he can just insert himself into Pavan’s life but Pavan, although he doesn’t know exactly what he wants, knows that Neville could never be it. As their anti-romance edges towards a resolution, the decriminalisation of homosexuality in India plays out in public, adding tension and hope to the twisting narrative.

It’s refreshing to read a novel featuring gay characters that isn’t about coming out or dying (there are more than you think), as well as an anti-romance like Rao’s. There is no inkling that these two gay characters (although I’m not certain that either of them is actually gay; more below) will end up together, just because they’re both gay in a novel about gay themes. Like I said, I don’t think Pavan’s gay life is developed enough for him to call himself gay; and Neville seems more like a dilettante, unable or unwilling to grow up and playing sexual games with whoever he can: if he were a character in a more permissive society, I felt that he might cut a swathe through women and men without any compunction.

Regardless, this is a fine and elegant novel that tells a complex narrative with economy and style, careful to never expand its potential romance tropes and giving us, particularly in Pavan, a three-dimensional character with a satisfying arc, who ultimately forgives himself and takes the first step into his own future. It’s not about money or status (or caste, if we’re talking about India); it’s about confidence, and that only comes with time.

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book starts in the misty hills of Darjeeling where in an average hotel Pavan works as a helper where Neville with his family gets stuck because of the landslide. Neville is a teenage boy from Bombay, all macho, suave and confident, just the opposite of what Pavan is. Pavan is a shy, introvert and a closed off person from a small village in Darjeeling.

Neville takes fancy in Pavan and provokes him to come out of his shell, to an extent he gets successful and they spend a night together but the incident that occurred the night before Neville was about to leave Darjeeling left their lives in a massive chaos.
Neville was shaken by the incident, whatever warmth he once had for Pavan turned into an icicle, his false bravado vanished in the smoke and he left Pavan out in the cold.

Four years later, they crossed each other's paths in Bombay. Pavan, more withdrawn and reserved than before and Neville, more open and superfluous than before. Neville tried to reconcile with Pavan, tried to make Pavan see him in a different light but it all went in vain because Pavan had once been burnt and is now more cautious.

This book is an epitome of queerness in India, it is about what it is to be a queer person in India. So much camouflage, so many pretences, so much suffocation and one has to live all through it because they can't be open about their true identity. It is because there is so much stigma around that society will not accept, their own parents will not accept them and they'd always live in an identity crisis making vague decisions like Neville did only to regret later.

The ending is perfect. Neville's flawed character is simply fabulous. Pavan's hesitation and reservedness is to the point as it should be. Although I kept biting my nails as to what will happen to these two, will they ever meet? Will there be a HEA? I am glad it ended the way it did because Pavan and Neville both needed to find their own peace.

[Hannah Jung · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written and heartfelt book about learning to accept yourself and not feel shame in a society where being gay is illegal.

The story starts four years before the decriminalisation of homosexuality in India. Pavan and Neville have a chance encounter in a remote hotel which is temporarily cut off by a landslide. The men come from different backgrounds and have very different personalities, but both struggle with keeping an important part of themselves secret.

Four years later the two men meet again. Things become darker and more complicated as we see them at home and at work. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this. It was thought-provoking and gripping towards the end, as you feel empathy towards one character and anger towards the other!

The writing was lyrical and evocative of the sights, sounds and smells of India, which were an important part of the overall atmosphere of the story.

I had originally thought this would be a love story, but it turned out to be about revenge, shame, guilt, fear and obsession.

[Katy Wheatley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pavan works in a crumbling hotel in the hills of Darjeeling. Far from home he hides his true nature from everyone, although he isn't always successful. When Neville arrives with his mother and her companion, he makes a beeline for Pavan and when a landslide stops the guests from checking out he decides to amuse himself by seducing Pavan. Disaster follows and Pavan's life unravels in ways that spoiled, narcissist Neville cannot and will not comprehend. This is the catalyst for the second half of the book which takes place four years later when Pavan and Neville run into each other again on Neville's home turf. This time, when Neville attempts to assert domination, things take a very different turn. A book of quiet drama and increasing tension, beautifully handled by the author, this is a splendid read.

[Jamie Barringer (Ravenmount) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A landslide cuts off a remote inn for days, stranding a handful of guests and the inn's staff. What is simply an inconvenience for most turns into an opportunity for Pavan, one of the inn's staff, to explore his sexuality with the assistance of a guest, a younger more sexually confident man named Neville. For those few days of stolen moments and secret dates, it is fun, but then stuff happens, and it is not fun anymore.
This is a well written novel that explores different ways of experiencing human relationships, sexual or not, and follows both men as the Indian Supreme Court hands down their decision decriminalizing homosexuality.

[Satish · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a breath of fresh air reading about queerness in India, and how it takes shape between two people from completely different backgrounds. Both are struggling with the same need for acceptance, but it shows up in very different ways – Pavan feels deeply but plans every move carefully, while Neville throws himself into reckless behavior just to feel something at all.

All of this plays out against the backdrop of India, when homosexuality was still illegal but on the verge of being decriminalized. Two strong, opposing characters whose brief connection ends up shaping the years that follow.

[Dolf van der Haven · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two guys meet at a hotel in Darjeeling, one more openly gay, the other closeted, and spend a night together. Then something terrible happens and they lose contact.
Four years later, their paths cross again in Mumbai, but the tension has increased and things don’t work out nicely.
The first part of this novel is a decent story, well written. The second part lacks clear direction, involves a lot of things that are slightly related (e.g. the decriminalisation of homosexuality in India), but ends a bit too open-ended for me. The writing is still good, but the plot development not so.