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Stress Management: A Comprehensive Guide to Wellness
Are you among the 95 million Americans who suffer from stress during these trying times? Revised and comprehensive, this invaluable guide helps you identify the specific areas of stress in your life–familial, work-related, social, emotional–and offers proven techniques for dealing with every one of them. New material includes information on how men and women differ in response to stress, updated statistics on disorders and drugs, the ways terrorism and the information age impact stress, the key benefits of spirituality, alternative medicine, exercise, and nutrition. Stress Management will help you
• test your personal responses to daily stress– and chart your progress in controlling it
• learn specific techniques for relaxation– from “scanning” to “imagery training”
• discover how to deal with life’s critical moments without stress
• embark on a program to improve your physical health as a major step toward stress management
• discern which types of stress must be reduced and which kinds you can turn into positive motivation
• test your personal responses to daily stress– and chart your progress in controlling it
• learn specific techniques for relaxation– from “scanning” to “imagery training”
• discover how to deal with life’s critical moments without stress
• embark on a program to improve your physical health as a major step toward stress management
• discern which types of stress must be reduced and which kinds you can turn into positive motivation
- GenresNonfiction
448 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1982
9 people are currently reading
54 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 24, 2018
DNF. Could not finish. WAY outdated. Disliked it so much that this book went right into the "donate" pile without a backward glance.
1 star because 0 stars is not an option.
1 star because 0 stars is not an option.
January 26, 2017
This book kind of assumes you have the basic necessities of life – food, shelter and health care – but that you are stressed out anyway. Why? People are stressed out for many reasons: Knowledge about what is happening in the world, interactions with family, the physical or emotional toil of work, social life, drugs (including caffeine, nicotine and alcohol), life changes, health problems, pain, the environment (hot, cold or snowy weather, glare of the sun, air pollution, noise), fears, boredom.
Stress affects us physically and mentally. When we experience stress, our brain releases adrenaline and cortisol, the “stress” hormones. We have evolved to experience stress in order to trigger the fight-or-flight survival instinct that would help us if we were being attacked. Unless you are actually being attacked, you need to learn how to stop reacting to First World problems as if you’re being attacked.
Stress management enhances wellness and makes life more enjoyable and relaxing. To be less stressed, you need to change your behavior. Most behavior change involves seven stages: (1) pre-contemplative (2) contemplative (3) planning (4) change (5) maintenance (6) relapse (7) permanent change. You need to go through these stages.
This book addresses the whole gamut of things that can be stressful and ways to deal with stress. If you need this advice, this book has recommendations about being spiritual, exercising, eating well and dieting, fairly obvious ways to reduce stress. Here are some of the other things in this book that resonated with me personally.
Progressive relaxation offers a systematic way to control muscle tension. In addition to helping people learn how to relax, the techniques have been used for many disorders, including anxiety, insomnia, headaches, backaches and hypertension. Physiological research has demonstrated that the procedures produce a profound relaxation. When measured with sensitive electromyographic instruments, major muscle groups can be trained to what is called zero firing threshold. This is total muscle relaxation.
It is helpful to follow a relaxation meditation every single day that goes something like this:
Lie on your back and get as comfortable as possible. If you hear any outside noises, use them as signals to remind you to relax.
Breathe in slowly and deeply. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Squeeze out more air. Sink into the surface below you. Hold your breath. Breathe in and out slowly and normally. Feel the relief and relaxation. Breath in deeply. Raise your eyebrows. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your forehead. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Squint your eyes as if you’re in a dust storm. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your eyes. Say “I am relaxed.” Close your eyes. Breath in deeply. Clench your teeth. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your jaw. Say “I am relaxed.” Leave a space between your teeth. Allow all the muscles of your face to soften. Breath in deeply. Raise your shoulders to your ears. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your shoulders. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Push your chest out and arch your back. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your neck. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Cross your arms and hug yourself tightly. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Raise a clenched fist to your shoulder. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your arms. Say “I am relaxed.” Feel the warm tingling in your hands. Breath in deeply. Crunch your stomach. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your stomach. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Tense your legs, curl your toes. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your legs. Say “I am relaxed.” Feel the warm tingling in your feet. Breath in deeply. Tense whatever is tense. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Curl your toes, tense your legs, crunch your stomach, clench your fists, curl your arms, arch your back, raise your shoulders, clench your jaw, squint your eyes, raise your eyebrows. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension. Say “I am relaxed.”
Release the tension in your forehead, eyes, jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, stomach, legs and feet. Focus on breathing. Breath in deeply and breath out slowly. Allow each long, smooth, quiet breath to become even deeper and slower. Continue to breathe deeply and fully, slowly and evenly. Say “I am relaxed. I am relaxed. I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.”
As you relax deeper and deeper, your desire to feel healthy and attractive grows stronger and stronger, as does your desire to break free of any bad habit, and soon you realize that you are relaxed, and your relaxation has replaced bad habits. You feel truly healthy and free as you see and repeat: I am relaxed. I am relaxed. I am relaxed.
Get ready to feel connected, healed, renewed, rejuvenated, restored, rested, refreshed, energized, alive, hopeful, confident and joyful. It is wonderful to be alive; be grateful for the present moment.
In mid-life, many people have accomplished the things they have set out to achieve in life, and then they are stressed out by anxiety caused by the question: “Is this it? Is this all there is?” After perhaps 20 years of formal education and then trying to establish a career, a marriage and a family, many people ask what they ought to do to continue to “stay busy.”
Well, maybe you don’t need to create ways to stay busy. The authors of this book would agree with the quotation attributed to Gandhi: “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” As we seek to race toward various goals and needs that have been artificially created and may be somewhat illusory, we may find that we grow stressed because we have set up something other than the experiencing of life as an ultimate goal.
One way of reducing stress can be reduced to an (A), (B), (C), (D) formula. First, there is the (A)ctivator of stress. This leads to certain (B)eliefs, and these beliefs have emotional (C)onsequence, such as anger, sadness and fear. You believe that the activator is causing the negative emotions, but that often does not have to be your reality. To get rid of the negative emotional consequences, you need to (D)ispute your beliefs, (D)istract yourself by focusing on different things and (D)elay thinking about what is happening until the activator perhaps goes away.
Here are some examples of false beliefs that could lead to negative emotions. “I need another person’s love and approval for the things that I do.” No you don’t. If you yourself approve of what you are doing, you can be happy doing it even though another person disapproves of it. “I have a goal, and I cannot be happy until I achieve it.” That’s not true. You can try to achieve your goal, but you can still be happy before you have achieved it, and you can still be happy even if you never achieve it. “I cannot assert myself in order to get what I want, because doing so will cause conflict.” That’s not true. Even if it is true that asserting yourself will cause conflict, you could have the conflict, and then you might get the thing that you’ve wanted your whole life. There could be an infinite number of examples of false beliefs; it depends on the person and the situation.
To quote Shakespeare, “There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” The famous Stoic Epictetus taught that people are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them. He said that people are not worried by things, but by their ideas about things; when we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves, that is, our ideas about things.
Sometimes people “awfulize” their situation. People focus on one unpleasant thing and decide that their whole life sucks just because of the one thing that they’re unhappy about, instead of focusing on all the good things in their life. One unpleasant aspect of life does not make your whole life “awful.”
Sometimes anger results from a feeling that things “should” be different and someone is to blame. The reality may be simply that you want something, and you are not getting what you want, and no one is to blame. Once you realize this, you may still be disappointed that you are not getting this one thing that you want, but that’s better than feeling angry because you think things “should” be different. Excessive focus on the way things “must” be is sometimes called “musterbation.”
Instead of just succumbing to stress, you can change your attitude and think about a stressful thing as something that is challenging, yet it is something that you have control over and that you are committed to managing.
When someone else doesn’t do what you want them to do, it is likely that you should not take the situation personally. The other person’s reason for not doing what you want probably has nothing to do with you. If you think the other person is not doing what you want because they don’t care about you, you might get angry. Instead, assume it has nothing to do with you, and if the thing is super important, you can continue to assert your desire to get what you want without getting angry that you are not getting what you want.
Stoics focus on whether they acted virtuously when faced with a difficult situation, not on the belief that the situation itself is bad. When you are faced with an activator of stress, rather than focusing on the fact that things are not the way you want them to be, ask yourself whether you are dealing with the situation in the best possible way. If you are, congratulate yourself on the accomplishment of acting in a virtuous way in response to a stressful situation. Don’t keep asking “Do things suck?” Instead just keep asking, “Am I doing my best?”
As trite as it sounds, there is a power of positive thinking. You can reduce anxiety, depression, guilt and anger by simply imagining that you are getting rid of them. There are many positive affirmations you could tell yourself. Here are some of them.
I feel safe. I feel secure. I feel comfortable. I am free of fear. I am free of anxiety. I am free of tension. I am a calm person. I am a confident person. I am a competent person. I am happy. I am strong. I am healthy. I feel relaxed. I feel balanced. I feel composed. I sleep soundly. I work creatively. I live joyfully. I am lighthearted. I am friendly. I am loved. I find it easy to be relaxed. I find it easy to be optimistic. I find it easy to be confident.
I find joy and pleasure in the simple things in life. I have an active sense of humor and love to share laughter with others.
My partner and I share a deep and powerful love for each other. I respect my partner and admire him/her and see the best in him/her. I love my partner exactly how he/she is and enjoy his/her unique qualities. My partner and I share emotional intimacy daily through talking and touch. I have healthy boundaries with my partner. My partner and I have fun together and find new ways to enjoy our time together. My partner and I communicate openly and resolve conflict peacefully and respectfully. I am able to be fully myself and completely authentic in my love relationship. I communicate my desires and needs clearly and confidently with my partner. I want the best for my partner and easily go out of my way to support him/her.
I feel successful with my life right now, even as I work toward future success. Today I am successful. Tomorrow I will be successful. Every day I am successful.
I love meeting strangers and approach them with boldness and enthusiasm. I live in the present and am confident of the future. I am confident. I am bold and outgoing. I am self-reliant, creative and persistent in whatever I do. I am energetic and enthusiastic.
I am well groomed, healthy and full of confidence. I approve of myself and love myself deeply and completely. I am unique. I feel good about being alive and being me.
I trust myself and know my inner wisdom is my best guide. I have integrity. I am totally reliable. I do what I say. I act from a place of personal security. I fully accept myself and know that I am worthy of great things in life.
I am free of pain, and my body is full of energy. I nourish my body with healthy food. All of my body systems are functioning well. I enjoy exercising my body and strengthening my muscles. I breathe deeply, exercise regularly and feed only good nutritious food to my body. I sleep soundly and peacefully, and I awaken feeling rested and energetic.
I am grateful for this moment and find joy in it. Life is happening in this moment. I accept and embrace all experiences, even unpleasant ones. Calmness washes over me with every deep breath I take. Every day I am more and more at ease. I am free of anxiety, and a calm inner peace fills my mind and body.
Perhaps you don’t think it will help you to tell yourself things like this on a daily basis, but I would say don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. One caveat, however. It's not about telling yourself lies. Affirmations are things that you do actually believe are true or could be true (but perhaps you're not acting as if you believe them).
One major cause of stress is anger. While it is true that righteous anger could give a person the strength to overcome hardship and oppression, it is more often the case that people are making themselves and those around them suffer because they are filled with emotions such as resentment, spite, scorn, loathing, hatred, bitterness, hostility and rage. Why would anyone be this way if they are not facing any real adversity? One reason may be that they don’t know how to be assertive without being angry. Unless we learn assertive ways of meeting our needs, we may experience frustration, tension and psychosomatic disorders such as headaches, insomnia and lower back pain. Muscle tension disorders are so common and closely related that lower back pain can be thought of as a headache that has slipped down your spine.
When a person is angry, it is often helpful to say: “I need to think of what exactly it is that I want right now. Is there a way I can productively try to get what I want instead of just getting angry?” You can train yourself when you’re angry to stay relaxed, not take the situation personally, not take the situation too seriously, keep your sense of humor, not act hostile and just deal with the situation in the most productive way possible to try to get the outcome you want, instead of acting angry. Maybe you’ll succeed, in which case there’s no longer any reason to be angry. Or maybe you’ll fail, but you can congratulate yourself for acting in a virtuous manner, and after you’ve done your best to deal with the situation, you may be able to see that the thing you were so angry about was unpleasant, but it was not as awful as you worked yourself up into believing it was. When you're angry, ask yourself, is there actually anything bad happening right now? Often, the answer is no.
Depression has many causes and comes in many forms. One form is feeling bored and not having the energy to do the things that you are interested in doing. Lack of energy could be caused by an underactive thyroid. You need to make adjustments to your lifestyle, such as getting enough sleep, eating healthful food and exercising, to give yourself enough energy. Alcohol is a depressant, so unless you want to be depressed, why are you drinking alcohol? Do you believe that you need a drink? That is a false belief; you don’t need a drink.
One cause of depression is a belief that the future will be bad. This may be a false belief. Whatever is bad in your life now could improve. Prophecies are often self-fulfilling. If you believe bad things will happen in the future, it is more likely that bad things will happen in the future. Optimism increases that chances that the future will be better. Every time you tell yourself “What if [something bad happens in the future],” activate your imagination and tell yourself “What if [something good happens in the future.]” Exercise, go to a movie or sports event, participate in religious or social activities. Yes, you should force yourself to do things that happy people do.
Learn how to be assertive without feeling or expressing anger. Assertive behavior means standing up for your personal rights and expressing your thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and helpful ways, which do not violate the rights of others. As Emerson wrote: “All sensible people are selfish.” People think bad things will happen if they are assertive, but that is not necessarily true. It won’t necessarily make others angry if you are assertive. You won’t necessarily hurt others. If they are hurt, that may be something for which you are not responsible. People will not necessarily hate you or treat you worse just because you don’t do what they want you to do. The people you want to associate with will probably not think less of you for honestly expressing your thoughts.
In order to be assertive without being aggressive or angry, don’t assume everything is zero-sum; there are often win-win solutions. Expect to get what you want. Expectations are often self-fulfilling prophecies. Even when others are angry, it is possible to be assertive without being angry yourself. There really are not that many situations where you’re likely to get what you want by acting angry.
There are many different ways to improve your time management, but here is one thing to always keep in mind: the garbage can is often the best place to delegate something.
People who laugh, last. Humor nearly always helps reduce stress in any situation. We all know someone who can diffuse tense situations by telling a joke. Guess what, he’s making an effort to be that way. Make the effort to be that guy yourself.
Good book. I recommend it.
Stress affects us physically and mentally. When we experience stress, our brain releases adrenaline and cortisol, the “stress” hormones. We have evolved to experience stress in order to trigger the fight-or-flight survival instinct that would help us if we were being attacked. Unless you are actually being attacked, you need to learn how to stop reacting to First World problems as if you’re being attacked.
Stress management enhances wellness and makes life more enjoyable and relaxing. To be less stressed, you need to change your behavior. Most behavior change involves seven stages: (1) pre-contemplative (2) contemplative (3) planning (4) change (5) maintenance (6) relapse (7) permanent change. You need to go through these stages.
This book addresses the whole gamut of things that can be stressful and ways to deal with stress. If you need this advice, this book has recommendations about being spiritual, exercising, eating well and dieting, fairly obvious ways to reduce stress. Here are some of the other things in this book that resonated with me personally.
Progressive relaxation offers a systematic way to control muscle tension. In addition to helping people learn how to relax, the techniques have been used for many disorders, including anxiety, insomnia, headaches, backaches and hypertension. Physiological research has demonstrated that the procedures produce a profound relaxation. When measured with sensitive electromyographic instruments, major muscle groups can be trained to what is called zero firing threshold. This is total muscle relaxation.
It is helpful to follow a relaxation meditation every single day that goes something like this:
Lie on your back and get as comfortable as possible. If you hear any outside noises, use them as signals to remind you to relax.
Breathe in slowly and deeply. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Squeeze out more air. Sink into the surface below you. Hold your breath. Breathe in and out slowly and normally. Feel the relief and relaxation. Breath in deeply. Raise your eyebrows. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your forehead. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Squint your eyes as if you’re in a dust storm. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your eyes. Say “I am relaxed.” Close your eyes. Breath in deeply. Clench your teeth. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your jaw. Say “I am relaxed.” Leave a space between your teeth. Allow all the muscles of your face to soften. Breath in deeply. Raise your shoulders to your ears. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your shoulders. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Push your chest out and arch your back. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension around your neck. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Cross your arms and hug yourself tightly. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Raise a clenched fist to your shoulder. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your arms. Say “I am relaxed.” Feel the warm tingling in your hands. Breath in deeply. Crunch your stomach. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your stomach. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Tense your legs, curl your toes. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension in your legs. Say “I am relaxed.” Feel the warm tingling in your feet. Breath in deeply. Tense whatever is tense. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension. Say “I am relaxed.” Breath in deeply. Curl your toes, tense your legs, crunch your stomach, clench your fists, curl your arms, arch your back, raise your shoulders, clench your jaw, squint your eyes, raise your eyebrows. Hold your breath. Release and exhale. Relax all the tension. Say “I am relaxed.”
Release the tension in your forehead, eyes, jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, stomach, legs and feet. Focus on breathing. Breath in deeply and breath out slowly. Allow each long, smooth, quiet breath to become even deeper and slower. Continue to breathe deeply and fully, slowly and evenly. Say “I am relaxed. I am relaxed. I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.” Breathe slowly and deeply. Say “I am relaxed.”
As you relax deeper and deeper, your desire to feel healthy and attractive grows stronger and stronger, as does your desire to break free of any bad habit, and soon you realize that you are relaxed, and your relaxation has replaced bad habits. You feel truly healthy and free as you see and repeat: I am relaxed. I am relaxed. I am relaxed.
Get ready to feel connected, healed, renewed, rejuvenated, restored, rested, refreshed, energized, alive, hopeful, confident and joyful. It is wonderful to be alive; be grateful for the present moment.
In mid-life, many people have accomplished the things they have set out to achieve in life, and then they are stressed out by anxiety caused by the question: “Is this it? Is this all there is?” After perhaps 20 years of formal education and then trying to establish a career, a marriage and a family, many people ask what they ought to do to continue to “stay busy.”
Well, maybe you don’t need to create ways to stay busy. The authors of this book would agree with the quotation attributed to Gandhi: “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” As we seek to race toward various goals and needs that have been artificially created and may be somewhat illusory, we may find that we grow stressed because we have set up something other than the experiencing of life as an ultimate goal.
One way of reducing stress can be reduced to an (A), (B), (C), (D) formula. First, there is the (A)ctivator of stress. This leads to certain (B)eliefs, and these beliefs have emotional (C)onsequence, such as anger, sadness and fear. You believe that the activator is causing the negative emotions, but that often does not have to be your reality. To get rid of the negative emotional consequences, you need to (D)ispute your beliefs, (D)istract yourself by focusing on different things and (D)elay thinking about what is happening until the activator perhaps goes away.
Here are some examples of false beliefs that could lead to negative emotions. “I need another person’s love and approval for the things that I do.” No you don’t. If you yourself approve of what you are doing, you can be happy doing it even though another person disapproves of it. “I have a goal, and I cannot be happy until I achieve it.” That’s not true. You can try to achieve your goal, but you can still be happy before you have achieved it, and you can still be happy even if you never achieve it. “I cannot assert myself in order to get what I want, because doing so will cause conflict.” That’s not true. Even if it is true that asserting yourself will cause conflict, you could have the conflict, and then you might get the thing that you’ve wanted your whole life. There could be an infinite number of examples of false beliefs; it depends on the person and the situation.
To quote Shakespeare, “There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” The famous Stoic Epictetus taught that people are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them. He said that people are not worried by things, but by their ideas about things; when we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves, that is, our ideas about things.
Sometimes people “awfulize” their situation. People focus on one unpleasant thing and decide that their whole life sucks just because of the one thing that they’re unhappy about, instead of focusing on all the good things in their life. One unpleasant aspect of life does not make your whole life “awful.”
Sometimes anger results from a feeling that things “should” be different and someone is to blame. The reality may be simply that you want something, and you are not getting what you want, and no one is to blame. Once you realize this, you may still be disappointed that you are not getting this one thing that you want, but that’s better than feeling angry because you think things “should” be different. Excessive focus on the way things “must” be is sometimes called “musterbation.”
Instead of just succumbing to stress, you can change your attitude and think about a stressful thing as something that is challenging, yet it is something that you have control over and that you are committed to managing.
When someone else doesn’t do what you want them to do, it is likely that you should not take the situation personally. The other person’s reason for not doing what you want probably has nothing to do with you. If you think the other person is not doing what you want because they don’t care about you, you might get angry. Instead, assume it has nothing to do with you, and if the thing is super important, you can continue to assert your desire to get what you want without getting angry that you are not getting what you want.
Stoics focus on whether they acted virtuously when faced with a difficult situation, not on the belief that the situation itself is bad. When you are faced with an activator of stress, rather than focusing on the fact that things are not the way you want them to be, ask yourself whether you are dealing with the situation in the best possible way. If you are, congratulate yourself on the accomplishment of acting in a virtuous way in response to a stressful situation. Don’t keep asking “Do things suck?” Instead just keep asking, “Am I doing my best?”
As trite as it sounds, there is a power of positive thinking. You can reduce anxiety, depression, guilt and anger by simply imagining that you are getting rid of them. There are many positive affirmations you could tell yourself. Here are some of them.
I feel safe. I feel secure. I feel comfortable. I am free of fear. I am free of anxiety. I am free of tension. I am a calm person. I am a confident person. I am a competent person. I am happy. I am strong. I am healthy. I feel relaxed. I feel balanced. I feel composed. I sleep soundly. I work creatively. I live joyfully. I am lighthearted. I am friendly. I am loved. I find it easy to be relaxed. I find it easy to be optimistic. I find it easy to be confident.
I find joy and pleasure in the simple things in life. I have an active sense of humor and love to share laughter with others.
My partner and I share a deep and powerful love for each other. I respect my partner and admire him/her and see the best in him/her. I love my partner exactly how he/she is and enjoy his/her unique qualities. My partner and I share emotional intimacy daily through talking and touch. I have healthy boundaries with my partner. My partner and I have fun together and find new ways to enjoy our time together. My partner and I communicate openly and resolve conflict peacefully and respectfully. I am able to be fully myself and completely authentic in my love relationship. I communicate my desires and needs clearly and confidently with my partner. I want the best for my partner and easily go out of my way to support him/her.
I feel successful with my life right now, even as I work toward future success. Today I am successful. Tomorrow I will be successful. Every day I am successful.
I love meeting strangers and approach them with boldness and enthusiasm. I live in the present and am confident of the future. I am confident. I am bold and outgoing. I am self-reliant, creative and persistent in whatever I do. I am energetic and enthusiastic.
I am well groomed, healthy and full of confidence. I approve of myself and love myself deeply and completely. I am unique. I feel good about being alive and being me.
I trust myself and know my inner wisdom is my best guide. I have integrity. I am totally reliable. I do what I say. I act from a place of personal security. I fully accept myself and know that I am worthy of great things in life.
I am free of pain, and my body is full of energy. I nourish my body with healthy food. All of my body systems are functioning well. I enjoy exercising my body and strengthening my muscles. I breathe deeply, exercise regularly and feed only good nutritious food to my body. I sleep soundly and peacefully, and I awaken feeling rested and energetic.
I am grateful for this moment and find joy in it. Life is happening in this moment. I accept and embrace all experiences, even unpleasant ones. Calmness washes over me with every deep breath I take. Every day I am more and more at ease. I am free of anxiety, and a calm inner peace fills my mind and body.
Perhaps you don’t think it will help you to tell yourself things like this on a daily basis, but I would say don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. One caveat, however. It's not about telling yourself lies. Affirmations are things that you do actually believe are true or could be true (but perhaps you're not acting as if you believe them).
One major cause of stress is anger. While it is true that righteous anger could give a person the strength to overcome hardship and oppression, it is more often the case that people are making themselves and those around them suffer because they are filled with emotions such as resentment, spite, scorn, loathing, hatred, bitterness, hostility and rage. Why would anyone be this way if they are not facing any real adversity? One reason may be that they don’t know how to be assertive without being angry. Unless we learn assertive ways of meeting our needs, we may experience frustration, tension and psychosomatic disorders such as headaches, insomnia and lower back pain. Muscle tension disorders are so common and closely related that lower back pain can be thought of as a headache that has slipped down your spine.
When a person is angry, it is often helpful to say: “I need to think of what exactly it is that I want right now. Is there a way I can productively try to get what I want instead of just getting angry?” You can train yourself when you’re angry to stay relaxed, not take the situation personally, not take the situation too seriously, keep your sense of humor, not act hostile and just deal with the situation in the most productive way possible to try to get the outcome you want, instead of acting angry. Maybe you’ll succeed, in which case there’s no longer any reason to be angry. Or maybe you’ll fail, but you can congratulate yourself for acting in a virtuous manner, and after you’ve done your best to deal with the situation, you may be able to see that the thing you were so angry about was unpleasant, but it was not as awful as you worked yourself up into believing it was. When you're angry, ask yourself, is there actually anything bad happening right now? Often, the answer is no.
Depression has many causes and comes in many forms. One form is feeling bored and not having the energy to do the things that you are interested in doing. Lack of energy could be caused by an underactive thyroid. You need to make adjustments to your lifestyle, such as getting enough sleep, eating healthful food and exercising, to give yourself enough energy. Alcohol is a depressant, so unless you want to be depressed, why are you drinking alcohol? Do you believe that you need a drink? That is a false belief; you don’t need a drink.
One cause of depression is a belief that the future will be bad. This may be a false belief. Whatever is bad in your life now could improve. Prophecies are often self-fulfilling. If you believe bad things will happen in the future, it is more likely that bad things will happen in the future. Optimism increases that chances that the future will be better. Every time you tell yourself “What if [something bad happens in the future],” activate your imagination and tell yourself “What if [something good happens in the future.]” Exercise, go to a movie or sports event, participate in religious or social activities. Yes, you should force yourself to do things that happy people do.
Learn how to be assertive without feeling or expressing anger. Assertive behavior means standing up for your personal rights and expressing your thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and helpful ways, which do not violate the rights of others. As Emerson wrote: “All sensible people are selfish.” People think bad things will happen if they are assertive, but that is not necessarily true. It won’t necessarily make others angry if you are assertive. You won’t necessarily hurt others. If they are hurt, that may be something for which you are not responsible. People will not necessarily hate you or treat you worse just because you don’t do what they want you to do. The people you want to associate with will probably not think less of you for honestly expressing your thoughts.
In order to be assertive without being aggressive or angry, don’t assume everything is zero-sum; there are often win-win solutions. Expect to get what you want. Expectations are often self-fulfilling prophecies. Even when others are angry, it is possible to be assertive without being angry yourself. There really are not that many situations where you’re likely to get what you want by acting angry.
There are many different ways to improve your time management, but here is one thing to always keep in mind: the garbage can is often the best place to delegate something.
People who laugh, last. Humor nearly always helps reduce stress in any situation. We all know someone who can diffuse tense situations by telling a joke. Guess what, he’s making an effort to be that way. Make the effort to be that guy yourself.
Good book. I recommend it.
January 17, 2010
You mean I'm not crazy?! Boredom can cause stress? You can be stressed without major upheaval, just everyday stuff? If you've been having trouble sleeping, snapping at your family for "no reason," having neck and shoulder pain, and your doctor says there's nothing wring with you - read this book! A clear explanation of the causes and symptoms of stress, and common-sense self-help solutions. Now, if I can just find 20 minutes for relaxation...
February 23, 2015
Stress Management is a book I bought years ago for a speech project my freshman year in college. Since I've been stressed lately, I thought I'd give it a go again. A very long, thorough read, this book has a lot of excellent advice for becoming more relaxed, countering negative self-talk, and de-stressing in general. I'm currently into fitness so that was probably my favorite chapter, along with the chapter on visual imagery.
September 17, 2018
Stress Management: A Comprehensive Guide to Wellness is a self-help book written by Edward A. Charlesworth. This book explains that stress comes from many factors for example; too much sleep, not enough sleep, too much money, not enough money. The human body is like a machine and too much stress makes the weaker points break, for example, high blood pressure, stomach pains, clenched jaws. It also contains a very helpful relaxation exercise.
December 14, 2007
Quite helpful, especially in times of depression and anxiety.
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