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You're Too Young to Understand: A Memoir
In this unflinching and heartfelt family memoir, Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad chronicles how she confronted the trauma of her past while caring for aging parents who had struggled to care for her.
“Sjaastad bares her soul in this beautifully written book. How she copes is a lesson for us all.” —Mindy Greiling, former state legislator
Growing up with a mother with untreated schizophrenia and a turbulent alcoholic father, Liz was left to deal with the daily machinations of her mother’s paranoid mind.
Shedding light on the complexities of parental mental health and generational trauma, Liz shares the story of a life led despite the fears of “becoming her parents” and how she shows up for her parents—and herself—when it was needed most.
A transformative read, You’re Too Young to Understand offers . . .
hope for those looking to break the cycle of generational trauma.a compassionate and honest look at brain illness and anosognosia.a common bond for readers with refugee parents managing their own PTSD.insights for those navigating end-of-life decisions with difficult parents.Giving voice to isolating experiences, this memoir is a vulnerable look at growing up in the shadow of mental illness—and how somehow, we find our way through it.
“Sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, Sjaastad offers the possibility that even without much in the way of a parental roadmap, we can still find our way to love and forgiveness.”
—Laura Flynn, author of Swallow the Ocean
“Sjaastad’s compelling memoir will break your heart, then fill it full of her generosity of spirit.”
—Kate St. Vincent Vogl, author of Lost & A Memoir of Mothers
“Sjaastad bares her soul in this beautifully written book. How she copes is a lesson for us all.” —Mindy Greiling, former state legislator
Growing up with a mother with untreated schizophrenia and a turbulent alcoholic father, Liz was left to deal with the daily machinations of her mother’s paranoid mind.
Shedding light on the complexities of parental mental health and generational trauma, Liz shares the story of a life led despite the fears of “becoming her parents” and how she shows up for her parents—and herself—when it was needed most.
A transformative read, You’re Too Young to Understand offers . . .
hope for those looking to break the cycle of generational trauma.a compassionate and honest look at brain illness and anosognosia.a common bond for readers with refugee parents managing their own PTSD.insights for those navigating end-of-life decisions with difficult parents.Giving voice to isolating experiences, this memoir is a vulnerable look at growing up in the shadow of mental illness—and how somehow, we find our way through it.
“Sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, Sjaastad offers the possibility that even without much in the way of a parental roadmap, we can still find our way to love and forgiveness.”
—Laura Flynn, author of Swallow the Ocean
“Sjaastad’s compelling memoir will break your heart, then fill it full of her generosity of spirit.”
—Kate St. Vincent Vogl, author of Lost & A Memoir of Mothers
264 pages, Paperback
Published May 6, 2025
12 people are currently reading
33 people want to read
About the author
Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad
1 book1 followerLiz has written a memoir entitled, You’re Too Young to Understand, about growing up with, and then caring for, her father – a quiet Russian immigrant, an intellectual who drank too much and her mother – a smart and proper beauty who suffered with the life-altering brain illness of schizophrenia, though she never acknowledged it.
Liz speaks regularly about the craft of writing memoir and mental health challenges in our society.
Believing that memoir offers both a pathway to understanding those different from us and to finding community, Liz shares her personal stories in writing and in speaking.
During her first act as an adult she balanced her way through a career in organization development, volunteering for mental health organizations, and having three babies. Her second act has been writing a book and raising teenagers with her husband. Her third act is still in its first draft.
You can find Liz in St. Paul, Minnesota, on a tennis court, pickleball court, or walking her dogs with her hubby. If not, she’ll be in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area paddling and hiking about.
Liz speaks regularly about the craft of writing memoir and mental health challenges in our society.
Believing that memoir offers both a pathway to understanding those different from us and to finding community, Liz shares her personal stories in writing and in speaking.
During her first act as an adult she balanced her way through a career in organization development, volunteering for mental health organizations, and having three babies. Her second act has been writing a book and raising teenagers with her husband. Her third act is still in its first draft.
You can find Liz in St. Paul, Minnesota, on a tennis court, pickleball court, or walking her dogs with her hubby. If not, she’ll be in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area paddling and hiking about.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
July 18, 2025
Father Vasily is an alcoholic; Mother Cathryn suffers from schizophrenia. Their marriage is shaky at best. The author, her sister and brother, spend their childhood trying not to rock this fragile boat.
If this were simply a tragic memoir, it would be remarkable, but it is much more. The author carefully explains how the family muddled along. It helped that their dad was an esteemed Knox College professor of Russian who spoke several additional languages.
Unfortunately, he had experienced a traumatic childhood that followed him into adulthood. He married his attractive, French-teacher wife when they were very young and the ghosts hadn't yet infiltrated their lives. It would be years before Cathryn spoke of the chip in her eye that let others read her thoughts or how the refrigerator gave her advice.
Perhaps because of their daily struggle, the author became bold and plain-spoken. She read extensively about mental health, particularly schizophrenia. Armed with knowledge, love for their parents, and a commitment to helping them live their healthiest, safest lives, she and her sister dealt with a healthcare system that values individual liberty over safety and clothes that don't stink. (You can argue this both ways). They gave their parents the best care they could, while also building loving families of their own.
It's an inspiring story.
If this were simply a tragic memoir, it would be remarkable, but it is much more. The author carefully explains how the family muddled along. It helped that their dad was an esteemed Knox College professor of Russian who spoke several additional languages.
Unfortunately, he had experienced a traumatic childhood that followed him into adulthood. He married his attractive, French-teacher wife when they were very young and the ghosts hadn't yet infiltrated their lives. It would be years before Cathryn spoke of the chip in her eye that let others read her thoughts or how the refrigerator gave her advice.
Perhaps because of their daily struggle, the author became bold and plain-spoken. She read extensively about mental health, particularly schizophrenia. Armed with knowledge, love for their parents, and a commitment to helping them live their healthiest, safest lives, she and her sister dealt with a healthcare system that values individual liberty over safety and clothes that don't stink. (You can argue this both ways). They gave their parents the best care they could, while also building loving families of their own.
It's an inspiring story.
June 15, 2025
Beautifully written, I could not put this book down!! I felt like I was right there with the author, and appreciated the vulnerability of her story. This is not an easy thing to write about. Amazing read though!
July 19, 2025
There is no greater book than one that speaks to your soul. This is that book. Such a raw story, masterfully told. The author bares her soul as she recounts life with a schizophrenic mother and alcoholic father. My mother also had untreated mental illness. The parallels between my life and the author's are eerily similar, like she had a window into my life. This book is beautiful in its honesty. Sometimes you will laugh, and other times you will be brought to tears. I found healing in its pages. My heart goes out to the author, and to all of us who have struggled mightily with mentally ill family members who think that there is nothing wrong. Brilliantly written, rich in imagery and honesty. This is a must read! PD
November 4, 2025
A wealth of insight into schizophrenia and alcoholism
This well-written memoir explains how its author navigated an alcoholic father and a mother with untreated schizophrenia. Having experienced a similar situation growing up, I find every word of the book rings true and explains well what someone without such experience needs to understand. It’s a good read and tells an interesting story as well as its qualities as a memoir.
This well-written memoir explains how its author navigated an alcoholic father and a mother with untreated schizophrenia. Having experienced a similar situation growing up, I find every word of the book rings true and explains well what someone without such experience needs to understand. It’s a good read and tells an interesting story as well as its qualities as a memoir.
August 5, 2025
A Must Read
For anyone who has struggled with aging parents and the turmoil that can accompany this part of life, this book can't be missed. The author skillfully navigates the complexities of aging and mental illness, while also addressing sibling conflicts as well. Beautifully written.
For anyone who has struggled with aging parents and the turmoil that can accompany this part of life, this book can't be missed. The author skillfully navigates the complexities of aging and mental illness, while also addressing sibling conflicts as well. Beautifully written.
August 18, 2025
Liz Sjaastad did an amazing job of taking us through the journey of a young girl navigating life with role models struggling with addiction and mental health struggles and raising herself into a caretaker and mother. Eye opening to what living with schizophrenia and alcoholism looks and feels like. Brava!! I took my time with this book, took breaks, and savored her experiences and reflection.
August 10, 2025
I thought this book was well written. A good read about a life that was so challenging. I admire the author for continuing to put one foot in front of the other and moving forward. Sidenote: a lot if the book took place in Galesburg, Illinois, which is my hometown. A good book.
July 11, 2025
Well written memoir!!
August 20, 2025
Great memoir, local (to me) author. Win-win!
May 27, 2025
Reflective memior
I enjoyed this memoir, especially the reflections on the emotional turmyoil of helping parents through the aging process. This book would generate a fantastic book club discussion.
I enjoyed this memoir, especially the reflections on the emotional turmyoil of helping parents through the aging process. This book would generate a fantastic book club discussion.
October 23, 2025
You're Too Young to Understand is a memoir by Liz Fiedorow Sjaastad. Her story outlines life with a schizophrenic mother and an alcoholic father from childhood and through the later years of her parents' lives. Because of her open nature, Liz gives readers a glimpse into a world of dysfunction and what it is like to live with those who suffer from mental illness and addiction.
What I loved most was that her stories, though often covering difficult topics, were funny, touching, and very real. Even with all that was going on, there was love, tenderness, happy times, and family togetherness. What could have been an indictment against her parents reads more like a story about family, what it means, and how to care for it even in the face of terrible odds.
I walked away understanding how difficult it can be to get someone the help they need, and how taboo mental illness and addiction still are in our society. I also love that Liz, despite all she went through as a child, found a way to live life to the fullest.
If you are looking for a story of love and hope, then look no further.
What I loved most was that her stories, though often covering difficult topics, were funny, touching, and very real. Even with all that was going on, there was love, tenderness, happy times, and family togetherness. What could have been an indictment against her parents reads more like a story about family, what it means, and how to care for it even in the face of terrible odds.
I walked away understanding how difficult it can be to get someone the help they need, and how taboo mental illness and addiction still are in our society. I also love that Liz, despite all she went through as a child, found a way to live life to the fullest.
If you are looking for a story of love and hope, then look no further.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews