Without Consent: A Landmark Trial and the Decades-Long Struggle to Make Spousal Rape a Crime

by Sarah Weinman

From Sarah Weinman, author of Scoundrel and The Real Lolita, comes an eye-opening story about the first major spousal rape trial in America and urgent questions about women’s rights that would reverberate for decades.

In 1978, Greta Rideout was the first woman in United States history to accuse her husband of rape, at a time when the idea of “marital rape” seemed ludicrous to many Americans and was a crime in only four states. After a quick and conservative trial acquitted John Rideout and a defense lawyer lambasted that “maybe rape is the risk of being married,” Greta was ridiculed and scorned from public life, while John went on to be a repeat offender. Thrust into the national spotlight, Greta and her story would become a national sensation, a symbol of a country’s unrelenting and targeted hate toward women and a court system designed to fail them at every turn.

A now little-remembered trial deserving of close, wide, and lasting attention, Sarah Weinman turns her signature intelligence and journalistic rigor to the enduring impact of this case. Oregon v. Rideout directly inspired feminist activists, who fought state by state for marital rape laws, a battle that was not won in all fifty until as recently as 1993. Mixing archival research and new reporting involving Greta, those who successfully pressed charges against John in later years, as well as the activists battling the courts in parallel, Without Consent embodies vociferous debates about gender, sexuality, and power, while highlighting the damaging and inherent misogyny of American culture then and still now.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, True Crime, Feminism, Audiobook, Crime, Politics

320 pages, Paperback

First published November 11, 2025

About the author

Sarah Weinman is the author of The Real Lolita: A Lost Girl, An Unthinkable Crime, and a Scandalous Masterpiece, which was named a Best Book of 2018 by NPR, BuzzFeed, The National Post, Literary Hub, the San Francisco Chronicle, and Vulture, and won the Arthur Ellis Award for Excellence in Crime Writing. She also edited the anthologies Unspeakable Acts: True Tales of Crime, Murder, Deceit & Obsession (Ecco) Women Crime Writers: Eight Suspense Novels of the 1940s & 50s (Library of America) and Troubled Daughters, Twisted Wives (Penguin).

Weinman writes the twice-monthly Crime column for the New York Times Book Review. A 2020 National Magazine Award finalist for Reporting, her work has also appeared most recently in New York, The Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair, the Washington Post, and AirMail, while her fiction has been published in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, and numerous anthologies. Weinman also writes (albeit less regularly) the “Crime Lady” newsletter, covering crime fiction, true crime, and all points in between.

She lives in New York City.

(sarahweinman.com)

Reviews

[Hannah Greendale (Hello, Bookworm) · Rating 4 out of 5]

An eye-opening exploration of an important issue. With respect to raising awareness about the need to criminalize spousal rape, considerable progress has been made in recent years, but clearly there's more work to be done. (extended thoughts & quotes below) 👇

INTRO

This book promises to:

- Chronicle the once notorious (but now little-remembered) trial of the first woman to legally accuse her spouse of rape (while still married and living with him).

- Recount how Greta & John Rideout navigated the unwelcome celebrity (and later obscurity) tied to the case.

- Reveal the trial's vexing results (and surprising aftermath).

- Follow the woman who, inspired by the case, brought about significant changes to the legal system, and more.

Feminism has tried to move on to different battles than those originally waged during its second wave, but it also must keep fighting those same battles, because nothing is ever truly a permanent win. That's because the main problems in American culture, even and especially the ones activists sought to overcome, remain the same: men feel entitled to the bodies and minds of women, and the idea that wives are "property" persisted—and, devastatingly, still persists today.*

CHP 01
This chapter introduces Greta & John Rideout, as well as their families. Interesting to note that Greta did not want to marry John, but because she was financially struggling, she felt she had to.

Put simply, John Rideout's behavior behind closed doors was devastating (full details in the book). He also had terrible hygiene, apparently, choosing not to bathe for days and never brushing his teeth. 🤢

CHP 02
October 10, 1978 - Greta and John have their worst fight to date and he commits the violent act that will set into motion the first major spousal rape trail in America.

CHP 03
Weinman hits pause on the story here to look back at the history of the law surrounding marital rape. Highly interesting to see some of the hurdles spouses (namely women) faced, not least among them the belief that once a woman was married, she was her husband's property.

🤯 While rape has been recognized by law as a crime since the US was founded, it wasn't until 1861 that Black women could file rape charges.

🚨 OKAY THIS IS WELL AND TRULY ASTOUNDING 👇

In 1975, South Dakota became the first state to outlaw spousal rape entirely. The bill included language that stated "an act of sexual penetration accomplished with any person". But this law was amended in 1977 by Republican legislatures, who added "...any person other than the actor's spouse". 😱

^ I REPEAT: South Dakota's Republican legislatures intentionally amended a bill to keep spousal rape legal. South Dakota would not recriminalize spousal rape until 1990.

CHP 04
🎤 John Rideout is on record saying to police: "I thought if I hit her, she would come out of it." He told a police detective the beating wasn't so bad and that if he'd gone all the way, if he had "done it right, she wouldn't be here to complain." Remember this when you learn the verdict.

Oh my word... Despite policy that a rape victim's name be kept out of the paper, a reporter chose to to publish Greta Rideout's name along with her home address, so naturally she received hateful and threatening letters and phone calls.

It continues to amaze me that a woman's sex life would be taken into consideration in a rape case (as it was with Greta's). It has absolutely nothing to do with whether she was beaten and assaulted.

CHP 05
As part of opening arguments, the prosecutor was granted his request that all jurors visit the scene of Greta's alleged rape by her husband. Am I the only one who finds this bizarre?

CHP 06
📝 So the jurors deliberated and the verdict was... John Rideout was not guilty of rape. Why am I not surprised? 🙄

CHP 07
🚨OH. MY. GOSH. When you hear why some of the jurors justified their decision...😡

In response to learning that Greta was violently attacked, forced to the ground, and choked while she was raped, one juror said she "did not have to stay there and take it." Like, SIR, SHE WAS FORCED DOWN AGAINST HER WILL BY A MAN WHO WAS MUCH BIGGER THAN HER. WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO STAY THERE AND TAKE IT?! This smacks of "Why didn't you just close your legs?" 🤬⁉️

Another juror said Greta's response to her alleged rape wasn't how she would react if she were raped, so she dismissed Greta's allegation.


CHP 08
This was Greta's situation post trial:

- Jobless for three months
- Car broken & she couldn't afford to repair it
- Religious friend said the Lord told him he was supposed to get Greta & John back together.

So, yeah... Greta reconciled with her husband and they got back together. (Mind you, it's not uncommon for women in abusive relationships to keep going back, often because they've been conditioned to accept abuse and/or they don't have the support needed to break free.)

Fortunately, this chapter ends on a positive note with... Greta divorcing John just two months later. Huzzah!

CHP 09
My wild takeaway from this chapter is that after the trial, the state sued John Rideout for the $4,200 in welfare Greta received during the couple's three-month separation during the trial.

CHP 10
This chapter discusses how the Rideout's story was adapted to film and makes some interesting points about how spousal rape had been portrayed in entertainment media up to that point. One example is Gone with the Wind and how Scarlett had a big smile on her face the morning after her husband raped her, which perpetuated the idea that rape was something a woman wanted. 🙄

CHP 11
In which we meet activist Laura X, a woman who played a crucial role in broadening the general public's understanding of what constituted rape in a marriage and why spousal rape should be taken seriously.

CHP 12
I had no idea the Phil Donahue show aired an episode that educated the public on spousal rape.

CHP 13
This chapter makes clear the lasting effects of rape and how the victim is not always limited to the person whose body was violated. If you do not yet understand the longevity of this kind of trauma, please read this book.

CHP 14
😭 I was so devastated by what I read in this chapter that I paused to bury my face in my hand and let free a few tears.

CHP 15
I did not expect to see Lorena Bobbitt in this book. 😵‍💫



All I ever knew about the Bobbitts was that a crazy lady chopped off her husband's penis. I had no idea what was happening to her behind closed doors and how it drove her to take violent action against her spouse.

CHP 16
The year is 1993 and North Carolina becomes the last state to criminalize spousal rape in the U.S.

CHP 17
🚨 John Rideout reoffends, raping a fellow churchgoer.🚨

CHP 18
🚨 John Rideout reoffends AGAIN, raping an old school friend.🚨

CHP 19
Thirty-eight years after his first rape trial, John Rideout is going to trial again for rape.

CHP 20 & 21
We get into the details of the trial here, ultimately arriving at a verdict of... guilty on the charge of sodomy in the first degree and guilty of the charge of rape in the first degree.

🚨 At his sentencing, John Rideout gave a 45-minute-long speech in which he painted himself as a victim and ranted about fake news, saying, "Donald Trump's right, to a degree." Is it surprising that a convicted rapist idolizes Donald Trump, a man who is also a convicted rapist and openly brags about assaulting women? No, it's not.

CHP 22
For complicated reasons (please read the book!), there had to be a retrial, which means Rideout's latest two victims were forced to relive their trauma in excruciating detail. Brutal.

The good news is... Rideout's sentence was EXTENDED to the full 25 years.

EPILOGUE
There are too many eyebrow raising quotes in this chapter to include here, but these are a few that made my jaw drop:

Every state has some kind of law that criminalizes spousal rape. But ten of them, as of this writing, still won't prosecute if the victim was unconscious, drugged, or otherwise incapacitated.*

In Virginia, a man charged with raping his wife can get his charges reduced as long as he attends therapy sessions.*

West Virginia only began the process of eliminating its marital rape exemption loopholes for first- and third- degree sexual assault charges in 2024, finalizing a law that went into effect in June of that year.*

*NOTE: Quote(s) taken from an ARC and are subject to change in the final printing.

My heartfelt thanks to the kind people at Ecco Books for providing an ARC of this book.

[Margaret Retsema · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, man. As a true crime junkie, gender studies major/feminist, law and order fan, and someone working marginally in the law field, this book checked SEVERAL boxes.
The author (I believe is; so) writes like a journalist, so this is lovely and interesting to read. The storytelling is captivating. There were times I wish it could have gone a bit faster, admittedly, but there is just SO much history to be learned. It felt like a good solid university read.

It really made me think about what the women of my parents' generation had to go through. I’ll never say it out loud, but I should probably be more forgiving of boomer women for what they tolerate in men of that generation. They really were forced to just accept everything those men did to them.

I was shocked to discover how woefully behind we still are as a country. I was sure that we did in fact have a federal law against spousal rape (spoiler alert?? WE DON’T). While all states do, several apparently have loopholes and contingencies that still permit it! I am so hoping that this book makes huge waves and the issue gets revisited when we get a sane administration. While we’re at it, let's release those files, shall we??

[Rachel (TheShadesofOrange) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.0 Stars
I found the topic intriguing but I found the actual discussion over simplified without enough of a deep dive which was disappointing given the complexity of this issue.

[Logan Kedzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is odd when I want to treat a history book as having spoilers, but what happens here in fact and as it is structured as a book is designed to surprise. It is designed to do so in what happens, but the sort of premise of looking back at a world that failed to consider spousal rape as criminal is itself meant to shock.

You could say that this is a book about the history of rape within a marriage becoming a crime in the United States, but it is still not a crime, not federally.

The book is focused on Oregon v. Rideout, a 1978 trial that was one of the first trials (and the first major trial) under a spousal rape criminal statute. This would give it a celebrity status, making the trial a major public event with talk show appearances and a made-for-TV movie.

The facts of the Rideout case are not simple. Or they are simple, but the story frustrates the narrative, a conflict between what we expect from stories, such as in fiction, and the messy way that they are in real life with real people. This reverberates with why the question of spousal rape as a possible crime was contentious in the first place. The imagination of what marriage is in an ideological sense does not comport with the actual violence done to people.

This is sort of the book's problem, in that the focus is so much on the case, and what comes afterwards, and what continues to come, that there is not a broader look at the topic. But this is no real complaint, in that it makes the book much more captivating and readable. The only other problem is something that author cannot do anything about, namely those people who are involved who will not (and sometimes cannot) comment on what happened.

You can see the Netflix documentary. I mean that in a good way.

My thanks to the author, Sarah Weinman, for writing the book, and to the publisher, Ecco, for making the ARC available to me.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a crazymaking read in that I spent half of the book tearing my hair out trying to wrap my head around how it was necessary to spend so many years having this ridiculously absurd argument about whether or not spousal rape was Actually A Thing. And I spent the other half of the book sadly marveling at how amazing it is that, only through the persistent and painful advocacy and efforts of many, spousal rape was finally managed to be legally identified as a crime, and so far remains so, in this world in which we live - and especially given our bleak current state of affairs.


(Although it is worth mentioning that in some states, it was only in the last few years recognized as a crime without exception - for example, that it’s still a crime even when the spouse identifying as the victim was under the influence of substances at time of assault. The recent Gisele Pelicot case in France brought to stark light some of the problems with having such an exception to the legal rule.)


This book provides an authoritative history of the arduous journey toward legal recognition of spousal rape as a crime in the U.S., beginning with the case of Greta (Hibbard) and John Rideout. It’s an excellent, thorough, and important record on the topic and, needless to say, super depressing and infuriating at turns, an extremely strenuous and taxing read. It is chock full of prize-winning quotes from lawyers and politicians, such as “If you can’t rape your wife, who can you rape?” (CA Sen. Bob Wilson in the 70s), and many more from such individuals as recently as the 2010s and 2020s.


Needless to say, John Rideout has been a real piece of work, and despite any reprieves initially granted, capably proved himself as such by going on to be tried for multiple additional violent sexual offenses against other victims, whose trial transcripts are perhaps even more painful to read about than the original ordeal with Greta - although the drawn out history of Greta and John’s abusive relationship, legal battles, and aftermath is also plenty distressing and despair-inducing.


This is a very essential, if enraging book that shouldn’t ever have had to exist; indeed, its very need for existence is as enraging as the content itself.

[Michael J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling read about an important and too-long overlooked issue: marital rape. Weinman does an admirable job of investigation, detailing the long struggle to have courts designate this a crime.

With excerpts from news accounts as well as interviews, Weinman shows how progress was finally made with some landmark court decisions, and highlights how much work still needs to be done.


She devotes chapters to the decisive (and sometimes undecisive) court cases, most notably the multiple hearings regarding Greta and John Rideout, as well as the Bobbitt case.

Spotlighted are general long-held beliefs that wives are property and thus husbands can't be convicted of raping their wives. Consent is always assumed. It took an especially long time to change public and judicial opinion on this matter, and Weinman also designates the trailblazers for marital rights, including Laura X and others.

What disgusted me and seems obvious is how despicable a person John Rideout is, and how he was able to evade conviction across several decades.

One of the better true crime books I have recently read. I received a copy through a Goodreads giveaway. Thanks to the author and publisher for an advanced review copy, without obligation. My review is completely voluntary.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

Important content but I felt like a good bit was just filler to make this book length. I think I could have learned the same information from a journal article.

[Lilisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

An important read about the Greta spousal rape trial in the U.S., which unfolded in an Oregon courtroom. In 1978, Greta Rideout accused her husband John Rideout of spousal rape. He said it was consensual. At that time spousal rape was considered a crime in only four states. He was acquitted. But even beyond all this, the central debate and discussion was whether spousal rape could be considered as such if a couple was married and together vs having filed for a divorce, separated, or living apart - amazingly ridiculous. The book also includes other cases, advocacy, and the slow progress to change the laws across the country. Not to diminish the importance of the topic but focusing solely on a review of this book, while I found the book informative and an important read, it didn’t feel as riveting as it could have been. I felt the writing was a bit choppy, the transitions between cases/examples a bit abrupt, and could have been more in depth in some sections. Overall, it was a 3.5 star read for me rounded up to 4. I would still recommend the book for the importance of the topic. Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: Without Consent: A Landmark Trial and the Decades-Long Struggle to Make Spousal Rape a Crime by Sarah Weinman
Rating: 5/5

A Sociological and Public Health Landmark
Sarah Weinman’s Without Consent is a seminal work of feminist legal history and public health scholarship, meticulously reconstructing the 1978 Oregon v. Rideout trial—the first major spousal rape case in U.S. history—and its reverberations through decades of activism. Weinman, acclaimed for her masterpieces of true crime (Scoundrel, The Real Lolita), here transcends genre to deliver a serious social history that exposes how legal systems institutionalized misogyny by exempting marital rape from prosecution until as late as 1993. Her archival rigor and interviews with survivors, including Greta Rideout herself, reveal the intersection of gender-based violence, public health crises, and legislative inertia.

Emotional Resonance and Personal Reflections
Reading Without Consent felt like witnessing a tectonic shift in slow motion. Weinman’s account of Greta Rideout’s vilification—lambasted for daring to accuse her husband, John, while he was acquitted and later reoffended—triggered visceral outrage. The courtroom scenes, where defense attorneys framed rape as the risk of being married, mirrored contemporary debates about bodily autonomy post-Roe. As a public health practitioner, I was struck by Weinman’s unflinching analysis of how delayed legal recognition of marital rape compounded trauma, fostering cycles of abuse with measurable health impacts (e.g., PTSD, chronic pain). Yet, the book’s most profound moments came in quieter passages: feminist activists’ state-by-state battles, often waged alongside survivors, revealed the grit required to dismantle systemic oppression.

Constructive Criticism
- Structural Intersectionality: While Weinman centers white middle-class experiences (Rideout’s case), deeper engagement with how race and class shaped access to justice—e.g., Black women’s historical exclusion from marital privilege legal defenses—would strengthen the analysis.
- Public Health Data: The book’s sociological lens is impeccable, but incorporating longitudinal studies on spousal rape’s health outcomes (e.g., CDC reports on intimate partner violence) could amplify its policy relevance.
- Contemporary Parallels: Though Weinman nods to post-Roe backlash, explicit ties to current reproductive coercion cases (e.g., abortion bans as bodily autonomy violations) would sharpen the call to action.

Summary Takeaways:
- The Silent Spring of gender-based violence—a watershed exposé of how laws weaponized marriage.
- Weinman doesn’t just document history; she holds a mirror to America’s ongoing war on women’s bodies.
- For readers of She Said and Invisible Women: A forensic reckoning with rape culture’s legal roots.
- Greta Rideout’s name belongs beside Anita Hill’s in the canon of feminist courage.
- A public health imperative wrapped in a legal thriller—unputdownable and unforgettable.

Gratitude
Thank you to Edelweiss and HarperCollins for the advance copy. Weinman’s important and impressive work is a clarion call for scholars and activists alike.

Final Verdict: A flawless fusion of narrative journalism and sociological critique, essential for understanding how law, health, and gender intersect.

Why Read It? To confront Weinman’s implicit challenge: When rights are pendulums, not foundations, who pays the price?

[Meghan Lorenc-Shafer · Rating 5 out of 5]

BLOWS my mind that this is not ancient history. It feels like we’ve come a long way and have also barely taken a step.

Such an important piece of journalism and I hope it can help us push toward federal laws that protect married women’s rights to their own bodies. Or at least educate people on what some married women have gone through and the lack of protections in place currently.

[Anna Muthalaly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an indepth investigation into the first US trial against a man for raping his wife, an act that only became a widely recognized crime across the US in the late 80s/90s.

After delving into the specifics of the Rideout trial, Weinman then discusses other famous cases of spousal rape and what happens to the victims and perpetrators throughout time— most of the men go on to commit other acts of sexual violence, John rideout included

This book was, genuinely baffling with me because it returns again and again to the fact that people considered spousal rape an impossibility, which I could not get my brain to stretch around until I remembered how much of the legality around assault stemmed from like, English property rules.

Ie, to be raped meant not “to be penetrated against your will” but instead “penetrated by a man who could give you bastard children”. Simply insane, how little the law cares about what a woman actually wants done to her body. This book is worth a read just to see how many politicians made jokes about a wife being the only person you could rape.

That said, I do wish there was less focus on the minutiae of these peoples lives and more on the theories, philosophically and morally and such, of spousal rape and intercourse.

I found this book after it was included in the notes of Portalmania, a short story collection that was one of my fave reads of this year and dealt heavily with sexual assault/asexuality without marriage.

[Val · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've ever wanted to read good journalism, here you are...Sarah Weinman is the best of the best...her work is 'above and beyond' the usual...

'Without Consent...' is an excellent example of her work...the best investigatory work I've ever read...

This is a story that needs telling...and the persistent investigation into this story and the aftermath...and subsequent court rulings...is just amazing...

Highly Recommended!

[Joelitza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this book on the Oregon v. Rideout case — the first time in the U.S. a husband was tried for raping his wife — and wow… it’s heavy, but it needs to be read.

What shocked me most is how recent some of these legal loopholes were. States only closed exemptions for spousal rape in the last few years. And even now, we’re watching rights roll back: Roe v. Wade overturned, debates over no-fault divorce, even contraception and LGBTQ+ rights under attack. It feels like history echoing right in front of us.

This isn’t just about one trial in 1978. It’s about how fragile progress is. Survivors like Greta Rideout, Laura X, Teresa Hern, and Sheila Moxley fought like hell to be heard when the system tried to silence them. Their courage literally changed laws.

Reading this reminded me: rights aren’t permanent. Justice isn’t guaranteed. And silence only helps abusers.

Uncomfortable? Absolutely. Necessary? More than ever.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without Consent is a searing, essential work of true crime and feminist history, bringing urgent attention to the first major spousal rape trial in the United States and the decades-long fight it ignited. Sarah Weinman unearths the story of Greta Rideout with unflinching clarity, exposing a justice system steeped in misogyny and a culture determined to silence women. Meticulously researched and powerfully told, this is required reading for anyone seeking to understand how recent, and fragile, our legal protections truly are.

[Carly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This ended up being more true crime than history. But still informative about an important piece of legal history.

[Jolanta (knygupė) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5*
rtc...

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Martial rape was not illegal in all 50 states until 1993. Like most books on narrow topics, I often feel like the books should just be shorter. I feel like they would get read by a wider audience. This one is no exception.

[January · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without Consent: A Landmark Trial and the Decades-Long Struggle to Make Spousal Rape a Crime by Sarah Weinman (2025)
9h 24m read by Sarah Weinman, 320 pages

Genre: Nonfiction, History, True Crime, Historical Law, Feminism, Legal Case

Featuring: Women History, Spousal Abuse, Trials, Sexual Abuse & Harassment, Introduction, Greta Versus John, The Rideouts, 1970s, Salem, Oregon; Marital Issues, Marital Rape, Choosing Sides, Oregon v. Rideout, Marriage on Trial, She Said, He Said; Acquittal, Reunion, Intimate Partner Violence, Televised, “If You Can’t Rape Your Wife . . . Who Can You Rape?,” Laura X, Women's History Research Center, The Tide Turns, National Organization for Men (NOM), People v. Liberta, The Crawfords, Lorena Gallo & John Bobbitt, Public Figures, Private Lives, Sheila (2013–2016), Teresa (2010–2016), Rape Charges, Again (2016), Oregon v. Rideout Redux (2017), In His Own Defense (2017), Reverse, Remand, Retry (2017–2022); Epilogue, Notes, Print Version - Acknowledgments, Bibliography, Index

Rating as a movie: R for descriptions of battery and sexual assault

Books and Authors mentioned: Couples by John Updike, Virgin or Vamp: How the Press Covers Sex Crimes by Helen Benedict; License to Rape: Sexual Abuse of Wives by David Finkelhor, Ph.D, and Kersti Yllo, Ph.D; Rape in Marriage by Diana E. H. Russell, Historia Placitorum Coronæ (The History of the Pleas of the Crown) by Matthew Hale, Conjugal Lewdness, or, Matrimonial Whoredom by Daniel Defoe; The Adventures of Robinson Crusoe​ by Daniel Defoe, Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe, Rape and Marriage: The Rideout Case by Hesper Anderson, Maidstone by Norman Mailer, Days of Heaven Terrence Malick, Children of a Lesser God by Hesper Anderson and Mark Medoff [based on] Children of a Lesser God by Mark Medoff; Gone with the WindSidney Howard [based on] Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell; Marnie by Jay Presson Allen [based on] Marnie by Winston Graham; Coal Miner's Daughter by Tom Rickman [based on] Coal Miner's Daughter by Loretta Lynn and George Vecsey; Barney Miller Season 4, Episode 15, "Rape" by Dennis Koenig; Rape on Prime Time: Television, Masculinity, and Sexual Violence by Lisa M. Cuklanz, Guiding Light episode dated March 5, 1979; Body Heat by Lawrence Kasdan, 9½ Weeks by Patricia Knop, Zalman King, and Sarah Kernochan [based on] Nine and a Half Weeks by Ingeborg Day; Angel Heart by
Alan Parker [based on] Falling Angel by William Hjortsberg; The Terminator by James Cameron and Gale Anne Hurd; Battered Wives by Del Martin, The Politics of Rape: The Victim's Perspective by Diana E. H. Russell, The Burning BedRose Leiman Goldemberg [based on] The Burning Bed by Faith McNulty; Lalla Rookh by Thomas Moore; George Bernard Shaw; Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape by Susan Brownmiller; Making Marital Rape Visible: A History of American Legal and Social Movements Criminalizing Rape in Marriage by Joann M. Ross; Rape in Marriage by Diana E. H. Russell, Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi, Fatal Attraction by James Dearden [based on] Diversion by James Dearden; After the Madness: A Judge's Memoir of His Time in Prison by Sol Wachtler, Lorena (2019 Docuseries)

My rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟💒😥

My thoughts: 📱3% 16:38 Chapter One:Greta Versus John - This is mind-blowing. I am shocked she was unaware of this history as I learned it as a teen through VH1 Pop-Up Video. It does seem a bit dark; my son asked why I was listening to this before getting his headphones.
📱14% 1:21:05 Chapter Four: Choosing Sides - I tried to find another audiobook, but I was too intrigued by the opening. So far this is very interesting and I may finish sooner than expected. I didn't know about Defoe. There was a Macomber book I didn't like that seemed to accept rape as a part of an intimate relationship, Between Friends, it was partly set in the '60s and I wasn't a fan, but I realized it was probably for an older audience that could relate to the time period.
📱38% 3:34:58 Chapter Nine: Breakaway - This is a very interesting story, and it's quite sad how bad the culture was at that time.
📱62% 5:50:34 Fourteen: The Crawfords - It is unbelievable how culture was just 30-50 years ago. I am blown away by each story and I'm only stopping here because I've gotten behind on annotating books as I had to drive. Now I have some cleaning to do so I need a different audiobook that does not require me to think as much.

This was a shocking read. I'm floored that it took till 1993 for all 50 states to make marital rape a crime and as of 2025 10 states still have loopholes.

Recommend to others: Yes. I think this would be a tough book club selection but I highly recommend that people read it.

Memorable Quotes: On December 26, 1978, the Marion County courthouse was packed with onlookers, not only local residents but national media outlets, too. The entire country had opinions. Not only that, but news of Greta’s allegations had reached as far as Australia and Asia. Journalists from Germany and England attended each day of the trial, sending dispatches of what they had observed in court. Broadcast reporters crammed the hallways before and after the proceedings, clamoring for any juicy sound bite they could get. Americans were glued to their television sets, waiting for trial updates on the eleven o’clock news, and Greta’s testimony sparked the most anticipation: Would she be believed, and vindicated? Or would she be reviled, and ridiculed?

A MERE HALF CENTURY AGO, marital rape wasn’t a crime in North America. It wasn’t a crime in England, Australia, or much of Europe. It still isn’t a crime in China, India, Ethiopia, and far too many other countries. Americans born in 1974, only five years before I was, were born in a country where it was perfectly legal for a man to rape his wife, because the very concept of marital rape seemed unfathomable. For centuries, wives were considered the property of their husbands. Common law had it that conjugal rights were forever, at any time, at any place, and by any means necessary. Marital rape, then, was an impossibility, an unresolvable paradox. How can you rape someone when the law says she is permanently, and irrevocably, at your beck and call, subject to your every whim, however violent and damaging? The patriarchy is stubborn. Even when other sexist norms began to fall away in the 1960s and early 1970s, when women were afforded the constitutional right to an abortion and allowed to get a mortgage without their husband’s signature, apply for their own credit card, obtain a prescription for birth control, divorce their husbands without admitting fault, and conceive a child through in vitro fertilization, the problem of marital rape stayed below the public’s radar. After all, popular culture had long treated spousal rape as part of some grand romance: books, films, and television shows either romanticized rape between intimate partners as an amorous overture secretly desired by women or minimized it as a normal intramarital conflict, a pernicious stereotype that shaped audience perceptions for decades (even now, it stubbornly resists eradication and scorn). Whenever the subject did come up, it was often as a punch line: author John Updike, while in Europe promoting his 1968 bestseller Couples, once remarked: “Rape is always at the back of [women’s] minds and civilized man has lost the ability. Perhaps what goes wrong with some marriages is you can’t rape your wife.” Updike’s comment gets at a crucial irony, one that animates this book: the belief, and centuries-old legal precedent, that a man can’t rape his wife is the very thing that means a man can, in fact, rape his wife and get away with it. Throughout this book, any sexual violation between spouses will be referred to as rape, even if it occurred at a time when the broader culture did not have the language to describe these acts accurately because they were not acknowledged as such by the law. By the time Greta Rideout took the stand to testify to what she said her husband had done to her, just three states other than Oregon—Iowa, Delaware, and Nebraska—had passed laws declaring spousal rape to be a crime, on increasingly equal footing with stranger or acquaintance rapes. (North Dakota had actually been the first state to do so, back in 1975, but reinstituted a marital rape exemption two years later.) The Rideout trial, therefore, occurred during a time when spousal rape seemed ludicrous to most and opened the public’s eyes to an unfamiliar concept.

The Rideout case embodied vociferous debates about gender, sexuality, and power, and highlighted the damaging and inherent misogyny of American culture then—and now. That a man could legally rape his wife as recently as the early 1990s, that exemptions in the law persist today, making it necessary to repeal loopholes in state laws as recently as the spring of 2024, showcases the agonizing slowness of progress with respect to gender equality.

[Mark Robison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent look at the history of attempts to make it illegal for men to rape their wives. It's bookended by the 1970s case of John and Greta Rideout — the first case where a husband was tried on a charge of raping his wife. It was in Salem, Oregon. He'd beaten her, blackening her eye, and raped her in front of their daughter. The jury found him not guilty. The other bookend involves another trial about 40 years later where the same John Rideout is tried for raping two other women.

Mickey Rourke played him in a TV movie about the original case — something he would put on his job resumes for years into the future and would seemingly bring up at every chance — and Linda Hamilton played Greta.

Listening to the accounts of all the politicians who opposed laws to outlaw spousal rape was quite something. For example, California politician Bob Wilson said, "If you can’t rape your wife, who can you rape?" He says it was a joke.

So many cases I'd forgotten about. Most of us probably remember John and Lorena Bobbitt, but that story — like the Rideouts — had become a kind of joke or farce in popular culture so I'd forgotten she'd cut off his penis only after years of abuse and rape.

The history of this legal theory is told concisely and interestingly with no places that I thought dragged. And the women who came forward in spousal rape cases despite being ridiculed in public and attacked by the legal system were impressive.

An aside from the epilogue is worth noting. Regarding the Dobbs decision: A 2022 Houston Law Review essay by attorney Taylor Kordsiemon examined two hypothetical Supreme Court rulings that could emerge: “Given the history and traditions surrounding marital rape and conjugal rights, it is plausible that the Dobbs approach would recognize a right to rape one’s spouse. And given that same history, it is almost certain that the Dobbs approach would not recognize the right to self-defense against marital rape.”

[Sean Jacobson · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Rather than the unfortunate crack by the California state senator Bob Wilson that 'If you can't rape your wife, who can you rape?,' the question that must be asked, again and again, is 'If you can rape your wife, who else can you rape?' As the Rideout cases, in 1978, 2017, and 2022, illustrate all too well, the answer is that you can keep on raping women."

This was an incredibly well-researched and engaging book about a difficult topic. I often have a hard time with non-fiction books because they tend to be a string of facts and background and lack a broader narrative. This book is an example of a non-fiction book that tells a linear story with an excellent narrative in an engaging way.

The book starts with the background of the initial Rideout trial, goes on to the subsequent legal battles and marital rape cases across the country, and ends with the further crimes committed by John Rideout after the first case.

I was given the book for free after winning a Goodreads giveaway.

[Candace · Rating 4 out of 5]

This deep-dive into the recent history of trying to make spousal rape a crime is important and sadly so relevant. Did you know that it is STILL not a federal crime in the US?

Weinman begins and ends this book with the story of Greta and John Rideout, who were at the center of the first major spousal rape trial in the country. It ends with it, because of course John was acquitted in the late 1970’s and went on to harm more women.

The author provides details of the original crime, the trial, the made-for-TV movie based on the couple, how the case affected women’s rights, how the public viewed the couple as national sensations, and the decades-long aftermath—including other notable trials involving spousal rape.

This is well-researched and extremely thorough. It exposes the deep-rooted misogyny within American culture and the court system, both in the past and in the present.

Hard to read at times, this book raises awareness about the work that still needs to be done.

[Jennifer]

Without Consent is titled and marketed as an examination of consent and the decades-long struggle to criminalize marital rape, yet it never meaningfully addresses consent itself, nor the psychological reality of non-consensual sex and violation. Instead, trauma is treated as a series of events to be reported rather than a lived psychological, physical, and social fracture to be understood. The result feels less like investigative journalism and more like a detached, rambling hybrid of true crime and historical report.

Weinman notes in the epilogue that this was meant to be Greta’s story. The subtitle promises an account of the decades-long struggle to make spousal rape a crime. While the book succeeds in cataloging statistical legal (and television and movie entertainment) progress—including the maddening, unjust loopholes that continue to exonerate and protect offenders more than fifty years later—the narrative ultimately centers on Greta’s husband, John Rideout, who goes on to rape multiple women after his marriage and which happened outside of marriage.

Weinman struggles to hold the thread. A book with this title carries a responsibility it does not meet.

Consent is not merely the absence of refusal. It includes capacity, safety, agency, trust, and freedom from coercion. Weinman gestures toward violation—most notably the recording of sex without consent—but refuses to stay with its implications or examine the harm that violation inflicts.

Trauma is too often flattened into spectacle. Dissociation, reported briefly as a response during rape, is never explained as a protective psychological split, nor is its function ever explored. Survival mechanisms and coping strategies are mentioned without interrogation, effectively outsourcing the work of understanding trauma to the reader. A grave oversight.

Glaringly, the book avoids the hard work of grappling with consent after violation. Greta’s return to John following his acquittal for raping her during their marriage is treated as consensual, without addressing trauma bonding or coerced consent. Weinman does not confront how a “yes” can exist inside fear, collapse, and survival. She notes possible origins of John’s behavior—mentioning the hollow blackness of overwhelm in his mother’s eyes during his childhood—yet never extends the same depth of understanding to Greta’s choices. The public and legal outrage over her return to him is documented in detail, but the well-established reasons survivors return to their abusers are not. Why Greta made that choice deserved far more weight than the outrage over the fact that she did.

The flat spectacle continues through Rideout’s subsequent trials and Weinman’s contact with him nearly forty years after raping his wife, Greta. Weinman notes that she sought Greta’s consent and to inform her of writing the book, only to learn she had recently passed away, yet does not clarify whether consent was sought from their daughter, Jenny—despite including personal updates taken from Jenny’s Facebook account. Yet she sought out and communicated with John? As a journalist, that may be expected. As a woman, it felt wrong.

Without Consent is not a book without merit. But it ultimately falls short of its stated purpose, sidestepping a responsibility both to its readers and to the women whose lives it seeks to represent.

[Daria Ageeva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Picked this book to get my ‘Her Story’ bookmark on Good Reads.

I came for the bookmark but I stayed for the quality of writing and research completed in this book. Without Consent focuses on spousal rape and how the law is against married women. I was shocked to learn that if you were married in the 70s and your husband raped you, it wasn’t classed as rape and you could not take any recourse to bring your rapist husband to justice. However, states in America (very) slowly started to change legislation, to make spousal rape a crime, however this book highlights the very problems with legislation, the loopholes and the overall lack of understanding of woman’s rights that continues to this day. The book covers in detail the trial of Greta and John Rideout, one of the first married couples to have a trial where Greta accused her husband John of rape.

Through this book I have learnt that women suffer not only at the hands of their abuser but also suffer when reporting the crime to authorities, from police to the judges, they are made to relive, what is likely the worst thing that has happened to them, to try to prove themselves and that the crime occurred over and over again. The book opened my eyes to the injustice that happens, like women’s sexual history being revealed in court when they are not the ones on trial, while their husbands past is usually not brought into question, as if a woman who has slept with lots more men than another is some how worthy of being the victim of a violent crime. I’m shocked to know that there are still plenty of loopholes to getting out of spousal rape.

I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about how the judicial and legislative system is built with men in mind.

[Tonya Vondersaar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah Weinman wrote this research-based book about the first spousal rape trial, where Greta Rideout accused her husband, John Rideout, of rape. Oregon was one of the states that had a law in effect supposedly protecting women from spousal rape, but many didn't believe that marital rape was a real thing. A lot of people had the mindset that once you get married, you are contractually obligated to have sexual intercourse. When her trial took place, John was acquitted due to this mindset. The trial was mostly used to destroy Greta’s character and air out all of her sexual history, when Johns wasn't even discussed. This did bring more awareness to the problem all across the world and later would lead to many working to protect all people from any form of rape. They talk about many other situations where rape has been a problem all across the globe, and what it took to get laws passed to enact justice. John Rideout ended up being a repeat offender and later spent time in prison for this.

[Whitney Hubble · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 ⭐️ “But if you can’t rape your wife, who can you rape?” A shocking question and one I can’t believe was ever seriously debated. But that is part of our history.

This was an important and informative read. I would have rated it higher, but the second half of the book lost a bit of steam for me after the author completed her deep dive into the story of Greta Rideout, the first woman in U.S. history to accuse her husband of rape, and the case of Rideout v. Oregon.

Marital rape was not officially outlawed in all 50 states until 1993. I was born in 1993, which makes that timeline feel especially surreal to me. When you think about the world my mother, aunts, grandmothers and other loved ones were raised in, it’s honestly hard to wrap your head around how recent that history really is.

[Simi · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you ever want to read a book that makes you despair for what our foremothers endured,this is it. Genuinely, bless the women who fought so hard to outlaw spousal rape. Like everyone else has noted, spousal rape is not illegal federally. And all I kept thinking about while reading this was the number of men currently trying to eliminate no fault divorce and other safeguards for women. I had to take super frequent breaks while reading this because it is a really intense, enraging, and compelling read.

[Cerealflakes · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written book about a horrible topic. While progress has been made in many areas of women’s lives, there is still much work to do, as we see daily with evermore information coming out about Epstein and all the people, mostly men, who helped or participated in his abuse for decades. The author really tried to humanize the women victims, something the courts and police had been horrible at. I am glad marital rape is now mostly illegal, and horrified that I have to say mostly.

[Jeremy Neely]

The oft-quoted Faulkner line, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past,” kept coming back to me throughout this book. The first state law to criminalize marital rape did not come until 1975, the year that I was born. The last state to adopt such a law didn’t do so until my final year of high school. The number of exceptions to these laws that persist in some states is a measure of how far we still have to go as a society.

[Monica Veno | imprettybooked · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was good — especially if (like me) you’re drawn to the overlap between true crime and constitutional law. Weinman is less interested in shock and more interested in systems, which makes their writing feel more trustworthy and thorough. It’s not going to be for everyone, but it found the right audience here.

[Morgan Casarez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Content Waring: Sexual Assault and Violence

This was a really good book about the history of how our justice system looks the other way when it comes to women. It is incredibly sad and jarring, but really informative.