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Dude! Where's My Princess?: Book 1: Goblin Slayer
A guy in search of a new direction in life runs across a dragon and is catapulted into a magical world, where he teams up with some great new friends (fairy, skeleton knight, witch, and beer mage) on a fun adventure to rescue a cute bunny princess from an evil lich who's a real jerk.
What to
Fantasy adventure, comedy, romance, puns, heartwarming friendship, upbeat tale
Longer
This book is a portal fantasy inspired by the pun-filled Xanth universe, sometimes serious and sometimes absurd, but with plenty of adventure. Arwin's a dude from Earth in need of new friends and to heal a broken heart. Yaz is a thousand-year-old former knight who's now a talking skeleton and adventurer suffering from a bit of depression. The villain is his arch-rival from his living days. Beers is an aging wizard who can do beer magic but who might be on his last quest before retirement. Melina is a cheerful fairy yearning to leave the Enchanted Forest and see the world for the first time. Orchid is a gorgeous and sexy, legendary sorceress with a secret and a reputation as one of the land's most evil people, but when she and Arwin meet, sparks fly.
Arwin's journey begins in the Blue Region, where people are literally blue, and he becomes embroiled in rebellion. Then, it's off to see the mysterious and deadly Dark Enchantress before sneaking into the ogre village. There are quests and danger, a trickster vixen and a villainous lich. At the end of it all, a princess to be saved, friendship to be had, and maybe a blossoming romance.
What to
Fantasy adventure, comedy, romance, puns, heartwarming friendship, upbeat tale
Longer
This book is a portal fantasy inspired by the pun-filled Xanth universe, sometimes serious and sometimes absurd, but with plenty of adventure. Arwin's a dude from Earth in need of new friends and to heal a broken heart. Yaz is a thousand-year-old former knight who's now a talking skeleton and adventurer suffering from a bit of depression. The villain is his arch-rival from his living days. Beers is an aging wizard who can do beer magic but who might be on his last quest before retirement. Melina is a cheerful fairy yearning to leave the Enchanted Forest and see the world for the first time. Orchid is a gorgeous and sexy, legendary sorceress with a secret and a reputation as one of the land's most evil people, but when she and Arwin meet, sparks fly.
Arwin's journey begins in the Blue Region, where people are literally blue, and he becomes embroiled in rebellion. Then, it's off to see the mysterious and deadly Dark Enchantress before sneaking into the ogre village. There are quests and danger, a trickster vixen and a villainous lich. At the end of it all, a princess to be saved, friendship to be had, and maybe a blossoming romance.
189 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 2, 2025
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
June 2, 2026
I committed to reviewing this book, and that's the only reason I finished reading it. There were multiple points where I wanted to stop, but I pressed on to the end.
The novel is unofficially split into three parts, each with a writing style unique from the others, similar to what you might get from something written by different authors. The first part is puns. Puns, then more puns, then even more puns. With a small amount of story woven in. Back in the day I stopped reading the Xanth novels because they had transitioned from the puns enhancing the story to the puns being the story. This section of the book is similar.
After the first 30-40 pages of puns, the style changes to something more of a story. The protagonist leads a rebellion that's part socialist worker revolution and part French Revolution. While this part was more interesting, and the Blue Screen of Death monster was funny, I found it hard to get immersed in the story. The tone was distant and disconnected, with caricatures and stereotypes, and the plot was shallow and simplistic. At times it felt like the narrator was a psychiatrist analyzing the actions of a patient -- detached and distant.
Around page 192 the story transitions again. This time the writing style was much better, and I found myself getting interested. The short explanation of how to have an entire conversation using just the word "Dude" was great! One of the characters (Yaz) is fighting a bunch of goblins, and is winning handily, until a mysterious goblin chieftain arrives with quality armor and a magical sword. The author then cuts to, not one, but two background stories. The first for the goblin chieftain, was interesting because he was a completely unknown character. The second for Yaz, went 200 years into the past and told a story that had very little to do with the main narrative. This broke the immersion and disrupted the flow of the story. Coming back, it never recovered. I think the book would be significantly improved by deleting the background story for Yaz, or at least moving it somewhere else.
The ending is a bit of a cliffhanger. Not a super-duper, sitting on the edge of your seat cliffhanger, but enough of one that you want to know what happens next. This was expected. Getting to the last 30 pages or so, I just knew there was going to be a cliffhanger ending to help sell the next book in the series. I wasn't disappointed.
There is also mature (sexual) bonus content (the author's words, not mine). The author explains that some of the original content was sexually explicit and caused readers to complain, so he removed it and made it available for those who want to read it. This bonus content is available for sale in the author's online store, for a few dollars. I didn't read the bonus content, but the before and after part of the novel in the three areas containing it read like a 13-year old boy's fantasy of having wild group sex with beautiful women (in one case, -actual- nymphs). Throughout the book, women are portrayed as sex objects and, even when not, are still objectified for the most part.
The author also uses the story as a platform for rants about issues in the real world. Not too much, but short monologues that could be removed from the book without any harm to the story.
Finally, the prose was terrible. Here's a quote from the book: "She yelped in fright and struggled, kicking to get free, but the knobby fingers pressed into her flawless flesh and denied her." Note the overuse of adjectives, as well as the sexual overtones in a line that is about a standard monster attack with no connection to anything sexual.
Not recommended. I give it 2/5 stars.
Note: I received a review copy of this book from StoryOrigin in return for reading it and writing an honest review.
The novel is unofficially split into three parts, each with a writing style unique from the others, similar to what you might get from something written by different authors. The first part is puns. Puns, then more puns, then even more puns. With a small amount of story woven in. Back in the day I stopped reading the Xanth novels because they had transitioned from the puns enhancing the story to the puns being the story. This section of the book is similar.
After the first 30-40 pages of puns, the style changes to something more of a story. The protagonist leads a rebellion that's part socialist worker revolution and part French Revolution. While this part was more interesting, and the Blue Screen of Death monster was funny, I found it hard to get immersed in the story. The tone was distant and disconnected, with caricatures and stereotypes, and the plot was shallow and simplistic. At times it felt like the narrator was a psychiatrist analyzing the actions of a patient -- detached and distant.
Around page 192 the story transitions again. This time the writing style was much better, and I found myself getting interested. The short explanation of how to have an entire conversation using just the word "Dude" was great! One of the characters (Yaz) is fighting a bunch of goblins, and is winning handily, until a mysterious goblin chieftain arrives with quality armor and a magical sword. The author then cuts to, not one, but two background stories. The first for the goblin chieftain, was interesting because he was a completely unknown character. The second for Yaz, went 200 years into the past and told a story that had very little to do with the main narrative. This broke the immersion and disrupted the flow of the story. Coming back, it never recovered. I think the book would be significantly improved by deleting the background story for Yaz, or at least moving it somewhere else.
The ending is a bit of a cliffhanger. Not a super-duper, sitting on the edge of your seat cliffhanger, but enough of one that you want to know what happens next. This was expected. Getting to the last 30 pages or so, I just knew there was going to be a cliffhanger ending to help sell the next book in the series. I wasn't disappointed.
There is also mature (sexual) bonus content (the author's words, not mine). The author explains that some of the original content was sexually explicit and caused readers to complain, so he removed it and made it available for those who want to read it. This bonus content is available for sale in the author's online store, for a few dollars. I didn't read the bonus content, but the before and after part of the novel in the three areas containing it read like a 13-year old boy's fantasy of having wild group sex with beautiful women (in one case, -actual- nymphs). Throughout the book, women are portrayed as sex objects and, even when not, are still objectified for the most part.
The author also uses the story as a platform for rants about issues in the real world. Not too much, but short monologues that could be removed from the book without any harm to the story.
Finally, the prose was terrible. Here's a quote from the book: "She yelped in fright and struggled, kicking to get free, but the knobby fingers pressed into her flawless flesh and denied her." Note the overuse of adjectives, as well as the sexual overtones in a line that is about a standard monster attack with no connection to anything sexual.
Not recommended. I give it 2/5 stars.
Note: I received a review copy of this book from StoryOrigin in return for reading it and writing an honest review.
Displaying 1 of 1 review